On Sunday’s Meet the Press, brand new House Speaker Paul D. Ryan admitted that his office is, at least in one way, a very bad hotel: he can’t get the smell of cigarettes out of the room.

At 10:35 a.m. on Thursday, the Associated Press reported that Wisconsin Rep. Paul D. Ryan had received enough votes to become the 54th speaker of the House. Congrats to the soon-to-be very, very unhappy man.

On Wednesday afternoon, House Republicans voted to nominate Rep. Paul Ryan to be the next Speaker of the House. The vote was reportedly divvied up between Ryan and Rep. Daniel Webster, who received 200 and 43 votes respectively. Rep. Marsha Blackburn and Rep. Kevin McCarthy both received one vote.

Twice in recent weeks, we’ve gotten to watch hotly anticipated Congressional hearings, in which mostly male Republican members got the chance to grill powerful women who had upset them. In both cases, those members of Congress ended up looking like damn fools. How’d that happen?

In 1982, Van Halen created one of the greatest rock trivia facts of all time when they demanded in their tour rider that all brown M&M’s be removed from their dressing room munchies as a precondition for performing. Thirty-three years later, Wisconsin Rep Paul Ryan created a similarly ornate rider as a prerequisite…

Last night, Paul Ryan announced that he’d run for Speaker of the House if his Republican colleagues met a list of demands. Among them: insisting that time Ryan spends with his family not be sacrificed.

The “online communications director” for Michigan Democratic Congressman Sander M. Levin was arrested last week and charged with a brutal assault on his boyfriend, Roll Call reports. A police report obtained by the publication states that Timothy Foster, 32, beat and tried to stab the man, until Foster’s wife…

When Rep. Kevin McCarthy surprise announced that he would no longer seek to be Speaker of the House, Washington D.C. was rattled by a heaving sob made up of hundreds of little GOP congressmen running into their offices, slamming the door, huddling under their desks, and just letting their emotions go.

With California Rep. Kevin McCarthy’s fart noise-length campaign for Speaker of the House coming to an end today amid wild rumors and speculation of “misdeeds,” many Hill watchers are wondering who could possibly take his place as frontrunner. Please allow me to suggest: a baby.

On Thursday, Rep. Kevin McCarthy announced that he was dropping out of the race to become the next Speaker of the House. The move comes days after he implied that the House Benghazi Committee was essentially designed to hurt Hillary Clinton’s presidential ambitions.

All aboard the Unbelievable Waste of Time Express as it departs the station for an indeterminate, never-to-be-reached destination: the House is preparing a resolution to convene a special subcommittee to “investigate” Planned Parenthood. They’ll be in there however long it takes, which will be forever.

North Carolina Republican Congressman Mark Meadows, currently one of the people leading the charge to defund Planned Parenthood, is accused of paying his chief of staff for months after multiple women complained they were being sexually harassed by the man. The chief, Kenny West, was first banned from the…

Following the resignation of Speaker of the House John Boehner, the U.S. Senate has voted to advance a bill that will continue to fund Planned Parenthood and prevent a government shutdown until mid-December.

On Tuesday, September 29, Planned Parenthood health centers will offer free STD testing in 28 cities. The offering is part of “National Pink Out Day,” which is being held in order to rally support for the women’s healthcare provider.

Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) will be resigning at the end of next month, after nearly 25 years in Congress and four years as Speaker of the House. As with most shakeups in Washington, fuckery is to blame.

In a vote of 241-187, the House of Representatives has voted to halt funding to Planned Parenthood for a full year in order to investigate supposed “wrong-doing” and “harvesting” of fetal organs by the women’s healthcare provider. 239 Republicans and two democrats voted in favor of defunding, while three Republicans…

On Wednesday morning, Sen. Barbara Ann Mikulski (D-Md.) announced her support of the Iran nuclear deal, becoming the 34th Senate Democrat to do so. At this point, President Barack Obama has enough votes to sustain his veto of a promised resolution of disapproval from the Republicans. In other words, barring some…

Arizona Congressman Matt Salmon is apologizing after getting a little too real with a class full of elementary school students, during what was supposed to be a light conversation about how a bill becomes a law. Instead, Salmon took the opportunity to tell the kids about nuclear weapons and ask them, “Do you know that…

Remember when your little brother would eat his boogers in public and you’d want to die? Well, a member of Congress looks like she did the same thing on live television. Live television!

Today Senate Democrats rallied enough support to block a bill that, if passed, would eliminate Planned Parenthood’s government funding. Good news, indeed — but we’re not yet out of the woods. GOP leaders are steadfast in their resolve to defund the organization, even if their efforts lead to another government…