[Simi Valley, July 14. Image via Getty]

• Who knew? New York Post editors spend their days fantasizing about Chelsea Clinton in a bikini. Apparently, looking good in one is the only reason she would ever exercise. [NY Post]

We've written about this series before; now it features a non-American woman, Princess Diana. Coming in April: Michelle Obama. Past issues include Hillary Clinton, Condoleezza Rice, and, yes, Sarah Palin. Images after the jump. [Daily Mail]

Tweaking the lines your parents used when they grounded you, Condoleezza Rice claims that life is not "a popularity contest," and that someday, people will "start to thank this president for what he's done."

• Now that it's been a full year of shitty economic news, we are officially in a recession and have been for a year. Aren't you glad to know? [MSNBC]
• The market is not glad to know, and it slid almost 700 points after learning the obvious. [NY Times]
• In other obvious news, Condoleezza Rice doesn't plan to give much…

• Obama's announced his transition team co-chairs — the folks that will help pave the way for his Administration, not a shadow Cabinet — and it includes John Podesta, Pete Rouse (Obama's Senate Chief of Staff) and Valerie Garrett. The advisory board to the co-chairs includes former EPA head Carol Browner; former…

Yo citizens! North Korea was just about to celebrate its 20th anniversary on our State Sponsors Of Terrorism list when Condi Rice went and pulled them abruptly off it. Now she's telling everyone we'll be sending them food and shit!! Megan is skeptical about this, but with food prices where they are right now and all…

Perhaps you have already let out a long woebegone sigh re the news of the two Obama volunteers who barred headscarf-wearing Muslim women from sitting near him at a rally in Detroit on Monday so as not to generate any more photographic fodder for the insane wing conspiracy. I would say this was a low point, but that…

Condoleezza Rice is in New York today, chairing a debate at the Security Council over a U.S.-sponsored resolution to define rape and sexual violence against women as a tactic of war and calling upon countries to take concrete actions to stop and punish it. Of course, it's been going on for thousands of years, but, you…

Never thought I'd say this but: I missed crapping out the Crappy Hour. Amateur hack punditry is an addiction, an addiction that will eventually kill us all, and let me tell you, not being able to glibly offer congratz to the Clintons for earning more than $100 million in the past seven years, or new Merrill Lynch CEO…

Women! I think we can all agree we are guilty enough already! That's why, in lieu of the usual evening Jezebel news roundup, we're presenting you with ten things NOT to worry your head over. Read, and go back to feeling bad about carbs!

These are "Strutz," new pony dolls coming to a big box discount retailer near you. Aren't they a curious combination of anorexic and cleavage-y? That is the first rule of selling toys to four year old girls: making them subtly slutty is never going to do the job. How are we supposed to get our little girls to play…

During a state visit to Japan yesterday, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice apologized to Japanese officials over the alleged rape of a 14-year-old Okinawa girl by a U.S. Marine. "We certainly hope that there will not be lasting effects; [our friendship with Japan is] a longstanding and strong alliance," Rice said.…

Yet another rape charge has been leveled against a soldier at Camp Courtney in Okinawa, Japan. The newest allegation comes from a Filipino woman who says she was assaulted by an American serviceman at an Okinawa hotel earlier this month. The news comes at a time when Okinawans are already protesting outside Camp…

You know that a book is boring when you read the reviews and you're like, and this was the exciting shit? Or when the reviews are like, "the book gets really boring after she wins actual power and commences blowing up stuff and her whole plan to bring peace to the Middle East goes totally to shit." Or when the reviews…

Above: She goes in for the kill.
Below: Condi gives her a "Oh no you di-int!"