Serena Williams may look a little bridesmaid, but I love these graceful lines on her.


And Miranda Kerr is the bride! Albeit an incredibly glamorous one.


Jaime Pressly's mini kind of reminds me of what the evil trophy wife wears to her elderly mogul husband's funeral on a soap/one of those romance novels where all the wardrobe seems mired in 1984. Just picture it with a huge hat.


It's really striking how carefree Condoleezza Ricelooks now compared to...well, you know. Bright colors and a big smile make her look like a different dame!


Don't you wonder if Kendra and Condi were forced to talk? And what they said? And if she's hard to talk to in this dress - although I'm sure Kendra was totally un-self-conscious! And, from the waist down, it's extremely demure.


Rashida Jones can do almost no wrong in my book, but I'm not loving the fit of this - at least, in motion.


Venus Williams is perhaps the only woman in the world who could wear this caftan - and not the other way around. Some would say a tall lady shouldn't do a lot of pattern - I say they can and should!


Kristi Yamaguchi's right: self-exams are important. So are comfy shoes. Either, though, is optional for formal situations.


[Images via Getty]

[Simi Valley, July 14. Image via Getty]

SIMI VALLEY, CA - JULY 14: Former U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) and former first lady of the United States Nancy Reagan walk together after Rice spoke at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library July 14, 2009 in Simi Valley, California. Rice served as the 66th U.S. Secretary of State under the George W. Bush presidential administration from 2005 to 2009. She is currently the Thomas and Barbara Stephenson Senior Fellow on Public Policy at the Hoover Institution and professor of political science at Stanford University. (Photo by David McNew/Getty Images)

• Who knew? New York Post editors spend their days fantasizing about Chelsea Clinton in a bikini. Apparently, looking good in one is the only reason she would ever exercise. [NY Post]

• Condi Rice signed off on torture pretty early on... as if her penchant for knee-high boots didn't give that one away. [Washington Post]
• Reporter and Jezebel-fave Spencer Ackerman discovered that the Bushies did such a good job as destroying Rice aide Phillip Zelikow's torture dissent memo that even Hillary Clinton's State Department associates can't find it. [Washington Independent, YouTube]
• Marcy Wheeler discovered that the intel that Dick Cheney was so proud of having tortured people to obtain amounted to exactly 10 pieces of intelligence, only one of which led to an arrest. [Huffington Post]
• Of , Hillary Clinton said, "I don't consider him a particularly reliable source of information." [Politico]
• One of Cheney's butt-boys got on MSNBC yesterday and announced that he "saw the face of terror" when visiting the (dark-skinned, Muslim) detainees at Gitmo who have never been tried or convicted. Apparently, the face of terror is specifically dark-skinned and Muslim — I guess someone should inform the victims of the Oklahoma City bombing! [TPM]
• Fox News' Sean Hannity offered to get waterboarded, which I really think America should take him up on even if he's not going to look anywhere as sexy in a wet T-shirt as Playboy reporter Mike Guy. [Huffington Post, Huffington Post]
• But lest you think Fox is completely pro-torture, anchor Shepard Smith won my heart yet again when he got on the air yesterday and said this:
  

  "We are America!" he shouted, slamming his hand on the table. "I don't give a rat's ass if it helps. We are AMERICA! We do not fucking torture!!"

  God, he's sexy when he's mad. [Huffington Post]

• Congress is going to hold hearings; too bad no one will pound his or her desk like Shepard. [MSNBC]
• Levi Johnston's got a lawyer to represent him as he tries to work out some sort of legal custody arrangement with Bristol Palin, even though he doesn't have any money to pay child support. Also, he started growing a terrible goatee that his far-too-invested sister needs to get him to shave off. [CNN]
• Hillary Clinton is mixing it up with Pakistan and Iran, and looking good doing it. [Washington Post, Newser]
• Nancy Pelosi knew ages ago that the NSA was wiretapping Jane Harman over her alleged quid pro quo for Israeli spies. [Politico]
• The Justice Department might end up dropping the case. [Washington Post]
• And Pelosi has got her hands full pushing for Vermont Senator Pat Leahy's Truth Commissions. It's funny that Congress has to pass legislation to get truth out of politicians! [Wall Street Journal]
• Hey, look! There's one profitable bank in the world now. [BBC]
• A bunch of General Electric investors are pissed at MSNBC for its liberal bent. I thought Republicans were all supposed to be free market and laissez faire and shit. When GE stock is trading at $11 a share, assholes, let's talk profit instead of politics, okay? [Matthew Yglesias]

Rice said that there was no way to know that the hurricane would be that damaging, despite reports that government officials were well aware that the levees would break. Her answer, literally, was, "The U.S. will do better next time." She also said that she felt responsible, as the highest ranking black official, and was saddened by the images she saw on TV at the time even though she was seen spotted spending thousands of dollars on Ferragamo shoes during a shopping spree in New York City. We wish that Sherri had been prepped with that as a follow-up question.

She didn't call out Kanye West by name on The View, but we knew exactly who she was talking about. Rewatching this old footage, we forgot how hilarious Mike Meyers' reaction was when Kanye went off script. He seriously looks like he shit his pants.

Rice brushes off the historians who are currently ranking Bush as one of the worst Presidents in history by saying they "aren't very good historians," and goes on to insist that someday, we'll all be sorry that we were so hard on poor ol' unpopular W. "This isn't a popularity contest. I'm sorry, it isn't. What the administration is responsible to do is to make good choices about Americans' interests and values in the long run — not for today's headlines, but for history's judgment," Rice told CBS Sunday Morning's Rita Braver, "And I am quite certain that when the final chapters are written and it's clear that Saddam Hussein's Iraq is gone in favor of an Iraq that is favorable to the future of the Middle East; when the history is written of a U.S.-China relationship that is better than it's ever been; an India relationship that is deeper and better than it's ever been; a relationship with Brazil and other countries of the left of Latin America, better than it's ever been." Rice also denied that Americans are disliked by the rest of the world. I'm sure some "good" historians would disagree.

Rice: People Will Soon Thank Bush For What He's Done [CNN]
Condoleezza Rice: I'm Not A Type A [CBS]

• Now that it's been a full year of shitty economic news, we are officially in a recession and have been for a year. Aren't you glad to know? [MSNBC]
• The market is not glad to know, and it slid almost 700 points after learning the obvious. [NY Times]
• In other obvious news, Condoleezza Rice doesn't plan to give much advice to Hillary Clinton. What advice she does give, we're guessing Clinton doesn't plan on following. [MSNBC]
• Bill Clinton is pretty happy about Hillary's nomination, though. [Real Clear Politics]

• White people at CNN just don't know 'bout Susan Rice, our soon-to-be Ambassador to the UN. [Think Progress]
• Joe Biden gave his first post-election speech today, so people wouldn't forget that he's about to be VP. [Politico]
• Palin talked, too, at a rally for Saxby Chambliss, so people wouldn't forget that she wanted to be VP before she wanted to be President. [Politico]
• Saxby Chambliss pervily grabbed himself some incestuous tween side-boob in a new commercial. [Indecision 2008]
• The Department of Homeland Security is more fucked up than watching Saxby Chambliss feel his tween granddaughter's breast. [Boston Globe]
• LGBT rights organization Impact-Florida plans to protest Governor Charlie Crist's (fey, if not gay) marriage this weekend, because protesting breeder weddings is a good plan to get more voters on your side. [The Sun Coast News]
• The cherub-faced Chairman of the FCC, Kevin Martin, wants to force the winner of a new wireless auction to set aside a portion of its win for free, porn-free wifi. Apparently, Republicans are all into not regulating the market until it comes to porn, when they get are regulatory up in there. [Silicon Alley Insider]
• Former Clintonista Phil Singer thinks Chris Matthews should get off the air if he's going to start campaigning for Arlen Specter's Senate seat. [Politico]
• Tina Brown thinks Rachel Maddow should get the coveted Meet The Press chair, among other, non-boring people. [Daily Beast]
• With Hillary Clinton's imminent resignation from her Senate seat, two names keep popping up: New York Attorney General Andrew "Shucking And Jiving Is Not A Racist Term, I Swear" Cuomo and Bill Clinton. And you thought nothing could get you to vote for Bill again. [The Hill, CNN]

MEGAN: In continuing my streak this week of mornings completely sucking, the power company has informed me that I will be paying for power oday but not receiving any, so I am writing you from a very loud coffee shop where children are welcome. And, apparently, caffeinated! And you thought I wanted to die when I didn't know where my car was.

SPENCER: This week has really shaped up into your own personal stations of the cross, hasn't it? What happened with your car?

MEGAN: It was towed. Since New York City can't make me pay taxes and revenues are down, they're towing fucking everything now. They didn't take my knee high boots, though, and, apparently, they enjoyed the sound of my alarm for quite a while. I plan on wearing the boots in celebration.

SPENCER: Did you get it back from the impound lot or take the bus home?

MEGAN: (At this moment, in violation of this coffee house's ban on cell phone conversations, the man behind me is conducting one. Fucking kill me). Oh, no, I got it out of hock, after 10 days they would sell it!

SPENCER: Aee, this is why YOU SHOULD NEVER TALK ON THE PHONE. Only text-based communications are welcome. Never use your phone for voice communication

MEGAN: Anyway, if we're going to relate this to politics, can we call the rumors of Hillary as Secretary of State a big game of D.C. telephone?

SPENCER: And here's the tragedy. HRC will never be Obama's SecState — just ludicrous to consider, what with the backbiting and undermining, completely alien to Obama's management style thus far. HOWEVER. HRC has all the skills necessary to be a good secretary, even a great one: she has a massive international stature, she's fluent in the details of strategy and the larger picture, she knows how to be persuasive and she learned about management — what works & what doesn't — in the WH. But if you were HRC, would you rather:

• a) spend a couple years in an Obama administration, where you probably will clash with your boss, and that will lead him to fire you, or
• b) have the chance to pass the Clinton-Baucus Health Care Act of 2009, fulfilling a lifelong dream of improving people's lives in this country, and going on to spend your remaining years as a Senate baron?

MEGAN: I'm thinking Clinton should hitch her star to the Kennedy bill, because Baucus didn't make any friends pulling that shit this week. What is the Senate Finance Committee chair doing issuing a health care reform package without any input from the Health Committee chair? Nonetheless, yes, that is the real question: does she want to take full advantage of the Senatorial Retirement Home, or do something exciting and really change some shit. Because State is way overdo for some structural reforms, and this might well be one of the more exciting times to be Secretary of State, given where Obama wants to take our foreign policy.

SPENCER: Well, I don't understand the politics of health care, I have Ezra Klein for that. I'm just making a general point about what she can accomplish in the Senate.

MEGAN: Also, she's reportedly in Chicago. No, I understand that, it was just mostly a way for me to point out what Baucus is doing, besides issuing a health care plan that's in opposition to many of the principles of Obama's, which is legitmately at this point mostly Clinton's from the primaries.

SPENCER: Whoa whoa whoa. Structural changes at State? Never happen. That was one of Condoleezza Rice's many attempts at doing something that failed. It would be nice if the Department bred, say, a more expeditionary Foreign Service culture, allowing diplomats to better partner with soldiers & marines in counterinsurgency, but when Rice proposed sending more diplos to Iraq last year there was practically a riot. HRC doesn't want that headache.

MEGAN: Well, but that's not a structural reform from the bottom up — and I'm not saying HRC would want to take it on — but the system right now is a jury-rigged system of outdated written test-taking and competitive (argumentative) non-interviews that aren't really reflective of the modern world or modern career paths. But, speaking of Condi... You had some stuff to say about her.

SPENCER: Yeah, I want to push back against any premature Rice-rehabilitation. She has not a single achievement to her name. It's crazy that she's so esteemed in Washington. She didn't do shit, except enable the worst foreign-policy presidency of all time and serve as the worst national-security adviser in history. She even comes across as a fool and a knave in the new Woodward book about the surge.

MEGAN: Well, in her defense, she was honored at Glamour's Woman of the Year awards for her contributions to microfinance grants for women in developing countries and her efforts to get rape made a war crime at the UN. I'm not saying it balances out — like, at all — but she did do some small important things.

SPENCER: I can't wait until a document called NSPD-9 gets declassified, so we can see for all time that she lied to the 9/11 Commission and tried to destroy Richard Clarke's character for his crime of pointing out how she dithered while al-Qaeda got ready to attack.

MEGAN: Ugh, yeah, that would be the stuff that doesn't balance out. She does appear to have been the biggest Bush cheerleader as opposed to pushing back when it was likely her job to do so. But there are women to admire, like Tammy Duckworth, who one can arguably say has suffered for Rice's missteps and might join the Obama administration as the head of the VA.

SPENCER: That would be great. I love Tammy Duckworth and wish she had won her House seat in '06. Much like it sent a signal to Vietnam vets for Reagan to put Chuck Hagel at the VA (I think he was deputy first), so too should Obama put Duckworth in charge of his VA. She's allegedly the only competent, non-corrupt member of Blago... Blagojev... whatever the name of the Illinois governor is, she's his VA secretary and is killing it. Also she skipped the line ahead of me flying out of Denver after the Democratic convention and I didn't mind. Speaking of flying, I have to go to New Orleans but should we say something about Bill Ayers on GMA.

MEGAN: I mean, I kind of wish he'd opened his yap a little earlier because he seems so un-terroristy that it would've stopped people in their tracks, maybe.

SPENCER: Did you notice how on-message and clear he was? I don't know who the douche interviewer was, but he kept trying to get Ayers to concede that there was something shadowy to concede, and Ayers wouldn't. Also, journalists: never start a question with "surely..." because it invites your interview subject to dismiss your premise.

MEGAN: That is some good advice. My advice: avoid hurricanes at all cost and if someone wants to see your tits, tell them you paid too much for them to let someone see 'em for 10 cent beads.

SPENCER: Some spider or something bit me right next above my left nipple so I don't think I'm going to flash my tits this weekend. Anyway, may your week of disaster come to a close and I'll find a red wine you like in New Orleans. Also expect drunk photos from either myself or travel companion Calderone.

MEGAN: I am greatly looking forward to those! But you should probably tell your girlfriend to stop biting your nipples so hard.

SPENCER: Honestly it's some kind of bug.

MEGAN: I don't really need to know about your role-playing sex games.

SPENCER: Oh but really quick self-promotion: You want a strong woman at the helm of Obama's foreign policy? Meet Susan Rice. And check out this quote Princeton's Ann-Marie Slaughter gave me:

Slaughter added that Rice’s potential ascendancy represented a milestone in gender equity for the foreign-policy community. “It is very important to women in foreign policy that Susan is not married to her job,” Slaughter said. “She has a great husband and two young kids, and she managed to balance it. After Madeleine Albright, whose kids were grown, and Condi Rice, who does not have a family, that’s a very important message to send. After all, most men in foreign policy manage to have families, too.”

That was my kicker in the piece and now I'm out.

MEGAN: I've heard from a number of people about her awesomeness, actually, so here's hoping her participation in the Obama Administration doesn't end with the end of his transition team. Be safe!

• Obama's announced his transition team co-chairs — the folks that will help pave the way for his Administration, not a shadow Cabinet — and it includes John Podesta, Pete Rouse (Obama's Senate Chief of Staff) and Valerie Garrett. The advisory board to the co-chairs includes former EPA head Carol Browner; former Commerce Secretary William Daley; former transportation secretary Federico Peña; Obama national security adviser Susan Rice; and Governor Janet Napolitano. Don't expect to see those names on a future list of official appointments, though. [Washington Post]
• Obama's first official appointment will, however, be Congressman Rahm Emanuel. [NY Times]
• Four Senate races remain undecided: Alaska and Oregon are too close to call; Minnesota is likely to have an automatic recount; and Georgia's results require a runoff. [CNN]
• But, the anti-abortion "personhood" amendment in Colorado and the abortion ban in South Dakota went down by wide margins. [Denver Post, Argus Leader]

• By the way, when the state of Missouri elected Denise Juneau to be their superintendent of public instruction, they made her the first Native American woman in the state (and probably the first in the nation) to hold statewide office. Are there any other barriers we can bulldoze this week, please? [Missoulian]
• House Speaker Nancy Pelosi gave a press conference to state the obvious, which is that, since the economy sucks, Democrats are going to have to set and stick to priorities. Too bad she's spent the last two years proving she knows how to roll over. [Politico]
• Russian President Dmitry Medvedev went out of his way to prove Senator Joe Biden right, threatening to escalate a nuclear standoff with the U.S. in Eastern Europe if Obama moves forward with Bush's missile defense shield there. Cuban Missile Crisis anyone? Bueller? [Washington Post]
• They might be Bushies at heart — and partially responsible for the catastrophe that is the Iraq War and the potential new nuclear standoff for Russia — but electing our first African-American President choked up Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice, too. [CNN, Huffington Post]
• More than 70 percent of unmarried women voted for Obama yesterday, but half of the married ones went for McCain. Can married women please fill the rest of us in on what changes with a ring? [US News & World Report]
• More than 130 million Americans turned out to vote yesterday, or about 64% of eligible voters, making it the biggest election ever and the higher voter turnout in a long damn time. [Politico]
• The ACLU, along with the Lambda Legal and the National Center for Lesbian Rights, have filed a brief with the California Supreme Court arguing that it should rule Proposition 8 invalid if it officially passes. They argue that, since Prop 8 invalidates another section of California's constitution, it requires greater legislative scrutiny than the average ballot initiative. Good luck! [ACLU]

MEGAN: Good morning, sunshine! Is there somewhere you are at? Because I got up to thunder and lightening...

MOE: Hey sorry I've been having some issues with the internet.

MEGAN: Ugh, I feel you there. Technological ones, or just a deep and abiding hatred for it?

MOE: Well like, it seems like it's on, and I'm getting your messages, but you're the only buddy I see and the rest have disappeared. So actually it's pretty cool, sort of like if the internet could all just run the way it did in 1996 and there were no Gawker commenters…

MEGAN: So, a little from column A and a little from column B! Anyway, I just had to ask if you wanted a good laugh, because then I would encourage you to read this article about how Condi is sad that there aren't more African-American diplomats, as though that is something, like, completely outside of the control of the Secretary of State. Who does, after all, appoint the senior ones. It's that kind of lack of self-awareness that I'll miss about the members of the Bush Administration, at least until Biden brings some of them up on charges.

MOE: Wow this broad doesn't stop getting better eh? Sarah Palin charges rape victims for rape kits and Alaska for nights in her own home. When my dad was in the State Department I remember it was rather difficult at the time supposedly for a white male to make it to senior foreign service, so I guess Warren Christopher did try to do what you're suggesting and promote minorities. And I believe that if you're an underrepresented minority standards are different on the oral exam, or your application gets expedited, whatever. The thing is that basically there are not enough African American diplomats for the same reason there are not a lot of Ivy League educated African American JD community organizers; there is not exactly enough money to pay off your student loans in the State Department, although they give you a lot of free education once you're there.

MEGAN: Word on the not being enough money to pay off your student loans, I looked into it in college and could've taken a Hill gig and come out better at the end of the first year if I'd worked on moving up in the ranks on the Hill.

MOE: And you have to be extraordinarily well-educated and pass a test that is not exactly accounted for in the No Child Left Behind act. Yeah, Condi might have noticed these things before…

MEGAN: Yeah, that exam blows, and then the oral is totally based on a judgment of the reviewers and all about how you interact with the other people there, so I can see as how it might not exactly be encouraging a groundswell of new minority foreign service officers. And, notably, plenty of places charge for rape kits. Like, until very recently, North Carolina. Hell, I expected to be charged for mine, but Virginia doesn't. On the other hand, Condi does not appear to be a Palin fan, so she's got that on her side.

There are different kinds of experience in life that help one to deal with matters of foreign policy...I'm not going to get involved in this political campaign. As Secretary of State, I don't do that.

MOE: Hahahaha she doesn't think it matters that her husband rode his snowmobile to the Bering Strait that one time?? As for the oral exam, my brother passed the written and failed the oral and said something along the lines of, "look, knowing who they did take, fuck that." I'm not exactly sure what that means though. I will tell you that now you've got me sitting here thinking, "Hey, I am a white non-money motivated person with no student loans who was, at least before I subjected my brain to so many hundred successive nights of alcohol abuse, a good 'test taker', who would like to quit this industry and get out of the country, maybe learn a language or two…hey!" I don't think you need a college degree if you pass the test. Let's sign up for the foreign service exam Megan! I'm sure the government would be so happy to have us.

MEGAN: I will sign up for the Foreign Service exam, but only if you agree to take it sober and I will take it drunk and we will see what happens and write about it. I am an excellent test-taker, too, but I really have no intention of moving to Uganda for two years. One of my grad school classmates ended up in the shittiest post in the world — Quebec City. Plenty of people don't pass the oral, actually. In grad school, they made us practice it even if we didn't intend to take it and the secret is: to be a complete asshole. Don't concede. Defend your point long past the point of absurdity. That is the key to becoming a U.S. diplomat. If you concede in the face of irrefutable logic, then you'll make a shitty diplomat. Now, go forth and prosper at the oral.

MOE: Well would you look at that, the Wall Street Journal is just flat-out accusing Sarah Palin of lying! "Despite significant evidence to the contrary." My dad's first post was Reykjavik. Luckily for him — less so for my mom! — he also passed some "language aptitude test" that enabled him to go to China right after. Hey, speaking of, did you know Alaska had an "embassy" right here in New York? So internationalist of them!

MEGAN: I do love that every other state has their clubhouse in D.C., but Alaska was like, fuck D.C., we're gonna have it in the Big Apple!

MOE: What is so weird about that is that aside from my dad I never met anyone in all American diplomacy who was really like that. And I was pretty sure my dad would only do that sort of thing to piss me off. That is interesting. I wonder how standards have changed.

MEGAN: Well, maybe everyone besides your dad is, like, able to control it in their personal life, or able to fake it in their professional life? I wasn't in grad school that long ago, really. Also, I guess if the WSJ is accusing Palin of lying, this shitty OpEd proves once and for all that there really is a firewall between the reported side and the editorial side?

[laughs hysterically]. God, I crack myself up sometimes.

MOE: Ugh dammit Hamilton Nolan is in there I know it.

MEGAN: Well, Hamilton aside, do you want to talk about Reverend Wright's supposed mistress or are we way too bored with him?

MOE: I can't see, but what's funny about Wasilla charging rape victims was that it's the same total bullshit about Palin and her fiscally responsible term as mayor and by fiscally responsible I mean running up deficits big enough to put every child through a year of college. Yesterday I went to see Tom Frank speak with Lewis Lapham and he pointed out that preaching fiscal responsibility only to run up huge deficits was a clever strategy Republicans call "de-funding the left"…and after the panel I overheard some dude saying he was still angry at the Democrats for voting for the war and that he was probably voting for Nader or Paul and I just thought, "oh God, fuck everyone."

MEGAN: Well, the whole idea of lowering taxes was supposed to be to "starve the beast" only it turns out that Republicans — and their constituents — love the beast as much as tax-and-spend Democrats and the only real difference is what part of the bext each side wants to feed. Also, the OpEd is about Fannie and Freddie.

MOE: Okay Hamilton Nolan is still in the WSJ. I wouldn't roast him here if I didn't think he could take it though. I guess Gawker Media could get another fucking Journal account. Oh god and speaking of Fannie and Freddie what the fuck did I do to deserve 442 comments here????? I'm afraid to look.

MEGAN: Anyway, I can summarize for you: Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are a complete clusterfuck but GWB is (now) totally right for bailing them out because to do otherwise would totally drive people out of their home in droves but in a McCain-Palin Administration there will be homes for everyone and lobbyists are all to blame or maybe not all to blame but none of it is the fault of Republicans nosireebob. Vote McCain-Palin for change from the Democrats who are the source of all evil and have been running the country for the last 28 years even though 20 of those were Republican.

Apparently, the Gawker commenters were mostly discussing economics, at least for the first 100 comments. After that, I can't guarantee anything.

MOE: We never get that many comments, it is not like Crappy Hour.

MEGAN: Someone started talking about spanking, and others about Canada, so that might have something to do about that.

MOE: Also they got on me for "No one has ever listened to Bush," which is a joke of course, but on a few different levels, because who in his administration has even ever really listened to Bush? I mean, Dana Perino's statement was so absurd it's hard to know quite how to deal!

MEGAN: I mean, people don't understand that few people listen to Bush himself before formulating policy, they just do it and then go in and present a shitty alternative plan and he agrees. It's like how you dealt with your parents sometimes.

MOE: So tell me about Jeremiah Wright's mistress. Is she one of those female suicide bombers? A former concubine-protege of Putin? A Weathergirl??

MEGAN: She is a church secretary in Texas, supposedly. The picture, though, is worth 1,000 words. Also, her husband is pissed she was boning a black dude.

MOE: Whoa and what happens when Kim Jong-Il dies? God I hope this country realizes how awesome it would be for people like us if it decided to leave that decision in the hands of Sarah Palin. It could be the first summit Wasilla ever hosted! Just think of the opportunities for pork. And moose stew!

MEGAN: Oh, God, and when the thought of moose stew makes me hungry, it's time to post this bitch and get some breakfast.

MOE: Toodles love. I miss it here. I have a new family now and…most everyone is very nice!

MEGAN: This D.C.-based hangover case is trying to get pissed about something but all I can come up with is a sense of mild disgust that Cindy McCain cites Princess Di as an inspiration. I mean, I know between all her recipe-swiping and whatever that Cindy isn't the most creative person in the world but come on! Between this and Jackie O, can she choose more archetypes of the supportive-but-not-controversial wife to emulate to get her husband elected?
MOE: Wait, one sec, I forgot to tell you I'm doing DIRT BAG today. You know what that means? I fucking read TMZ and Page Six etc. etc. all morning. Apparently Janis Ian via David Geffen turned down an offer to do music for The Graduate. And that is what passes for a Page Six item on a Thursday in late June when Richard Johnson is on vacation!
MEGAN: Well, you go get dirrrty, I'll be here when you get back and not remotely envious of your gossip-reading.

MOE: Wait cindy mccain cites jackie as an inspiration? I thought that was Michelle's territory? And wasn't Jackie kind of controversial? Didn't she like, do drugs and give her daughters eating disorders and repress a full 90% of her emotions like all those beautiful icons of her generation??
MEGAN: Well, sure, but no one said anything about that until much later.

MEGAN: Anyway, we should probably totally talk about the whole North Korea thing briefly. Like, I sort of wonder if it's a good thing that all Kim Jong Il has to do is turn over some stuff detailed his weapons programs — without actually, you know, stopping them — and we're already lifting sanctions?

MOE: Well, what the fuck good have the sanctions done? How much thinner can they get in North Korea? I dunno…I kind of don't get the sense that we're dealing with a rational, logical guy in that Kim Jong Il. Maybe "engagement" would be kind of like the oil cleansing method of fighting breakouts. Like a "love bomb" on that show "Intervention."
MEGAN: Except that didn't we try that in the Clinton Administration? We offered them enticements, conducted negotiations and then Kim did what he wanted to do anyway which was get his hands on nukes. It's totally a no-win situation, but I guess I'm concerned in the medium- to long-term that allowing ourselves to be economically invested there could have negative repercussions on our foreign policy since it, you know, seemingly always does.

MOE: Has becoming economically interdependent with China had negative FP repercussions? I mean, sure you'll find lots of instances where that would be the case — the whole career of this guy, such as — and they haven't been exactly helpful when it comes to dealing with the DPRK, maybe some casino magnate can convince them to change their policy about sending North Korean border-crossers back to North Korea, but I'm trying to hone in on what you're saying with the "always does." Anyway in the case of North Korea is the big new concern their cooperation with Syria? I still haven't read the story. I'll do that now. Also we should maybe discuss child rapists and FISA.

MEGAN: I mean, in my mind, we find it really easy to take a hard foreign policy stand in countries where we have no economic interest or, in the case of the Iraq, where a hard foreign policy stand is aligned with our economic interests. Sometimes, like with Burma, that's probably a good thing, other times less so — agricultural competition and Cuba comes to mind, actually. But, yes, China was the example I was thinking of when saying our economic interests seemingly trump our foreign policy ones. Like, there's a whole army of lobbyists that will lobby for their companies' interests in China and strongly oppose any government action against China in a foreign policy sense that might interfere with that.

MOE: Oh god CHECK IT OUT we averted recession go us.
MEGAN: Well, we avoided it first quarter by just being anemic.
MEGAN: I'm not feeling the growth love.
MOE: Yeah I was being sarcastic but you know me.
MEGAN: Also, don't we all love how we live in an age where all kinds of information is at our fingertips, but economists still can only call it an official recession in retrospect 2 financial quarters later?

MOE: I think we should seal all aggregate economic data for a few years and come together as a nation to figure out what would really make everyone happier.
MEGAN: See, I actually wonder if it would even be possibly to determine that given our culture is so steeped in the idea that the ability to consume = happiness
MOE: Anyway, would you get in a time machine and, like, assassinate Kissinger before he had a chance to chill with Mao? Oh shit that reminds me I've got that Harper's somewhere with the amazing transcript of that. Because I wouldn't. Would I? Nah. I mean, it would be interesting.
MEGAN: I've watched and read too much SciFi to think that changing the past like that would be a good idea.
MEGAN: Anyway, so, wiretapping and child rapists?
MOE: Yeah I mean, I'm not really that interested in this fire and brimstone shit but Bobby Jindal is apparently like, okay, if you won't let us execute our child rapists I am going to have them CHEMICALLY CASTRATED. I'm almost afraid to click and find out what that meas.

MEGAN: Well, look, there are 5 states that have the law on the books now, but Louisiana was the first. Patrick Kennedy (poor, black) was the first child rapist ever given the death penalty in such a case, in 2003— but the law was passed in 1995
MOE: Oh man it's just Depo-Provera??
MEGAN: Yeah, mostly. Also, chemical castration doesn't solve the problem Chemically castrated rapists have offended again.
MEGAN: Plus, hello, life in prison?

MEGAN: Basically, the idea is that you can't get a boner or you can't ejaculate, but you can rape a person without a dick and Viagra can overcome Depo. Plus, it's rooted in the idea that rape is about sexual arousal, when when is at least as much about power and dominance.
MEGAN: So, if a rapist wants to show dominance, he doesn't need an erection. Lots of rapes are committed with objects (see:Joe Francis' rape).
MOE: Oh dude…uh speaking of dominance ?…WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THE POLLS WHY DOES GALLUP SAY IT IS A TIE AND EVERYONE ELSE IS LIKE UH-UH OBAMA IS WINNNNING
MEGAN: Well, Gallup says it's within the margin of error, so they're not even sure it represents a change.
MEGAN: The Rasmussen standard is "likely" voters, while Gallup only asks registered voters.

MEGAN: The real mystery to me is the LA Times/Bloomberg poll which has Obama miles ahead but uses the registered voter standard.
MOE: No but like all the polls had Obama 12 points ahead, and then Gallup came out and declared a tie, but whatever I wanted to go back to the fact that, like, even if you isolate North Korea economically they have gotten really good at printing fake currency so that is a problem. Anyway, here's Condi Rice telling everyone how she decided to remove North Korea from the terror list. Nowhere does she say "they are not terrorists because LOOK THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN ALLAH" but you know that's the subtext.
MEGAN: Sure, counterfeiting our money to give to terrorists in exchange for stuff legit governments won't sell them: not terrorism. Because they're not Muslim.
MOE: Oh, well that's simple enough. Registered vs. likely, sure. Mystery solved.
MEGAN: Also, back to the LA Times poll, they included Barr (3%) and Nader (4%), both coming mostly from McCain voters. Also, the LA Times poll is the only one with that large a margin, the Rasmussen and Gallup are both within each other's margins of error.
MEGAN: Also, it appears that the LA Times poll asked about isues and party affiliation, which would naturally affect responses. Gallup just asks "who you gonna vote for."

MEGAN: So, like, to me, that would indicate that in a knee-jerk reaction poll, they're more even but when voters are asked to think about the issues and with whom they agree and what is most important to them issues-wise, Obama does waaaaay better. Which is really interesting.
MEGAN: Yes, I did take statistical methodology as part of my major in Sociology, why do you ask?
MOE: Wait, ADD time, back to the Supreme Court death penalty decision and how it maybe reflects a shift on how the Court views executing people.

Justice Kennedy's majority opinion includes striking comments indicating possible skepticism about the entirety of capital punishment jurisprudence. In a remarkable statement, he says that the court's extensive body of death-penalty case law "is still in search of a unifying principle." That's a pretty bold statement about the whole project. And consider this statement by Kennedy today: "When the law punishes by death, it risks its own sudden descent into brutality, transgressing the constitutional commitment to decency and restraint."

MEGAN: Well, that goes along with the statement in the majority opinion that taking the death penalty off the table to child rapists reflect shifting social values about the death penalty.
MEGAN: That, like, since the standard for "cruel and unusual" changes over time as society changes, so does the Constitutionality of the punishment. I'm okay with that.

MOE: Me too! I think I'm also okay with Karl Rove calling out Obama's "alpha male attitude." Because, LOL!

Mr. Obama's alpha-male attitude was evident even as he stumbled towards and over the primary finish line. First, his campaign announced in May it was talking to Patti Solis Doyle after Sen. Clinton fired her as campaign manager. This served only to pour salt in the Clintons' wounds.

MEGAN: Right, because most politicians and political operatives aren't Type A personalities AT ALL.

MEGAN: But I guess Karl is himself a little more passive-aggressive, and if Bush really did fire him in church so he couldn't make a scene, so is Bush, so maybe Karl's just too used to passive-aggressivity to view assertiveness as anything other than hyper-aggressive?
MEGAN: WAIT oh my God, Karl Rove is everyone I date.
MOE: Um, also how did I miss Obama dissing Scarlett Johansson, (which Mickey Kaus deems "inexplicably clumsy," somewhat inexplicably, since he cops to having watched her video, and like, hello.)

MEGAN: Ummm, I would guess it has a lot more to do with downplaying the black man-white woman vaguely flirtatious suggestion aspect of it.
MOE: Ya think???
MEGAN: Which is just sad.
MOE: Interesting Spiegel piece on Why Russia Is Risking Another Cold War by amping up its military might. The answer seems to be that it isn't, but Putin talks a good game.
MEGAN: Well, who would they have a Cold War with? We're all into hot wars now, and really only in terrorist-sponsoring states that just happen to be Muslim and don't have nukes and shit.

MEGAN: Obama, by the way, is flip-flopping on the DC gun ban since he's trying to win swing states and the Supreme Court is expected to throw it out today.
MOE: Ugh and what the fuck was up with FISA?
MEGAN: The security of the American people trumps their need to protect (i.e., sue over) their right to privacy. He managed to combine a Republican argument on the supreme importance of national security with an implied Republican argument on tort reform. Plus, he can't look soft on terrorism or something and the Democrats have collectively decided to cave on telecomm immunity because they like having Bush scratch their bellies.

MOE: Oh here, they threw it out. Yay.
MEGAN:

Justice Antonin Scalia, writing for four colleagues, said the Constitution does not permit "the absolute prohibition of handguns held and used for self-defense in the home."

MOE: Scalia wrote the opinion. 5-4 decision. Can't wait to read!

MEGAN: You can right here, if you want.

They called the thing a "habit" for a reason. We all have them: I buy all my clothes at American Apparel despite a general unease with the institution's values; if I could I'd go back to wearing a Catholic school uniform despite unease with the institution's values. The biggest community of hijab-wearers I ever met worked with me at the phone sex call center, where I would regularly watch one habitually fiddle with her scarves as she regaled clients with detailed descriptions of her denim miniskirt and red lace thong and horny San Fernando Valley cheerleading squad's locker room antics.

Obviously, one cannot bear witness to such a spectacle and emerge without entertaining thought: "God I love this country." Which is, seven years on in this dumb Terror War, what makes this headscarf thing so infuriating: where K-Mart is free to peddle track pants that advertise abstinence from sex on their asses and the Secretary of State can don boots that look swiped from an S&M dungeon and pop culture celebrates bearded cross dressers…what does anyone give a shit about headscarves for? Where the perpetuation of conformity and envy is still the primary role of fashion, a lot more civilians will die at the hands of those who covet their Nikes than those who hate their "freedom" to wear them.

Muslims Barred From Picture At Obama Event [Politico]
How I Nearly Lost My Business After Refusing To Hire A Muslim Hair Stylist Who Wouldn't Show Her Hair [Daily Mail]

Rape is a crime that can never be condoned, yet women and girls in conflict situations around the world have been subjected to widespread and deliberate acts of sexual violence. As many of you know, for years, there’s been a debate about whether or not sexual violence against women is a security issue for this forum to address.

I am proud that today, we respond to that lingering question with a resounding yes. This world body now acknowledges that sexual violence in conflict zones is indeed a security concern. We affirm that sexual violence profoundly affects not only the health and safety of women, but the economic and social stability of their nations.

Which is totally great and something none of us would potentially expect being said by the foreign policy mouthpiece of an Administration that led us into a war under false pretenses but, you know, bygones. McCain's got to get women to vote for him, after all.

Unfortunately for the resolution, it's not got a lot in the way of teeth: "Specifically, the resolution requests that the Secretary General prepare an action plan for collecting information on the use of sexual violence in situations of armed conflict and then reporting that information periodically to the Council." Great, well, I think that's kind of what the Fourth Estate has already been doing, whether it's reporting on the increasingly prevalence of rape in Darfur or using historical records to document the brutality visited upon German women 60 years ago or any of the other known examples cited in Rice's speech or left out. Does the world really not recognize that rape is used as a weapon in a time of war? Does it have to be defined as an issue of national security before we give a shit about it? And, while it is important to call attention to the issue, do the women of the world need to be studied before they are protected?

Sexual Violence Is Security Issue, Rice Tells U.N. [Reuters]
Thematic Debate on Women, Peace, and Security [U.S. State Department]
Rape A Way Of Life For Darfur's Women [CNN]
The Russians in Germany [Harvard University Press]

MOE: So you feel guilty cheating on me? I gotta confess, I didn't read Crappy Hour. Well, I didn't read the site actually. But I avoided Crappy Hour in particular because the last time I brought Spencer into it, it ended up being 337 lines long or something. That's why I had to bait everyone with the "date" thing, because I figured that even the die-hard CH readers would give up around line 54.

MEGAN: I think we successfully kept it short, though we got kind of tanget-y, which you and I naturally know nothing about,

MEGAN: But can we maybe have a moment of silence for Mark Penn, who jeopardized the $10 million he took off of Hillary's campaign for a $300,000 1 year contract to push for the Colombian FTA? F'idiot.

MOE: Okay yeah I just want to lay it all out there. Mark Penn has extraordinarily bad hair. Then there is the exciting news that Condi Rice has been actively pursuing Dick Cheney's job, which is wonderful news for all Americans. And then there is that crazy polygamist shit and a think piece in the NYT Mag about Levittown, Pennsylvania that I sorta read and a think piece on Guantanamo Bay in the New Yorker that I sort of didn't read, but you brought up the $10 million dollar thing which is I think a good segue into the Clintons' centimillion dollar tax returns and the inspiring news that being a CEO is as ludicrously lucrative as it has ever been despite the credit crisis, wait, no, scratch that, it is more lucrative than it has ever been.
MEGAN: Well, naturally, it's more lucrative than it's ever been! We obviously need to pay the best and the brightest as much as we can afford to keep it from happening again!

MOE: OH fuck, but you know what my favorite part of the fucking
weekend was? Reading the Wall Street Journal edit page slam Obama for not being sufficiently invested our ponzi scheme of a stock market.
MEGAN: Capital gains is also what you pay if you sell your house and don't reinvest all the proceeds in your next house, but trust the rent-babies at the WSJ to ignore that detail.
MEGAN: Also, you don't pay cap gains on your 401K or IRA if you don't withdraw early, which you might need to do if you make less than $50,000 a year and that's in effect your entire savings.

MOE: I love this slight:

With apologies to economists Buffett and Obama, the history of this tax isn't on their side. The capital gains rate is crucial to investment decisions; higher rates make capital more expensive, dampening incentives to invest and reducing economic growth.

MEGAN: Gah, everything in there pisses me off. Not that I want the cap gains rate to go up, but, still, it's like citing statistics without really explaining it.
MEGAN: I'm guessing like, Poland or something. Not the Czech Republic, but maybe the Slovak?

MOE: I think the cap gains rate should go up, not just because I have no stock market holdings, except this 401K from my last job I don't know what happened to. It just sort of disappeared. Maybe it's there for me somewhere. Hm. Whatever. I bought a Swiss army knife over the weekend and read books. I've decided to join this new survivalist movement I've been hearing so much about. Also, commenters who would like to recommend aggressive accountants: moe@jezebel.com.
MOE: Yeah, the Slovaks, we're the slackers. The slacker-ovaks.
MOE: My people know the farce that is this myopic focus on incremental economic growth.
MEGAN: Well, your 401K isn't subject to cap gains, but if it's lost track of you they have to hold onto it forever, it's awesome like that.
MEGAN: Figure out where it was and call and make them track it down.
MOE: Okay but seriously we should probably discuss Mark Penn right?
MEGAN: Oh, hells yeah.
MOE: If you'd taken SinsisterRouge's advice six months ago, Hills, we might not be in this spot.

MEGAN: Except that Hunter Walker just sent me this link in which Hillary asks for credit because it takes her longer to do her hair and make-up. If this is what Maggie Williams hath wrought, I sorta want Mark Penn back.
MOE: Oh Jesus, HILLARY. You know what is so annoying about that? Michael Kinsley wrote that first. And like, it was cool of Kinsley to point that out; hey, give the lady some credit, being a woman is tough because you need to apply all sorts of consumer products to your face and hair and match your clothes to your eyeshadow and stuff and as a result, get less sleep than men. Right. So it's stating an obvious feminine truth, which is cool if you're Michael Kinsley, but you're Hillary Clinton and your campaign is — let's face it guys — really in its final hours, being read its last rites...is that what you want your last words to be? Actually never mind, I take that all back.

MOE: "You gotta give me credit, I applied some really pretty looking eye-shadow, and that shit ain't easy."
MOE: "They construct entire reality shows around MUCH LESS."
MEGAN: Way to strike a blow for feminism, Maggie.
MOE: "Now, onto my second career as the celebrity judge of Make Me A Superdelegate!"
MEGAN: Like, really? I mean, I know you and I have similar beauty regimens: sit around in our own filth until we have to leave the house, wash, put on clean clothes and minor make up and then leave.
MOE: Okay, so seriously, also, back to Mark Penn. You know, when all this was starting, the Clintons did not need to remind America how creepy Clinton pollsters tended to be
MEGAN: Yeah, what is up with that? And how hilare is it when Penn is the less creepy one?
MOE: I actually showered this morning but applied no makeup. Oh, here's some sad news: the guy who makes my egg sandwiches at the deli? Not the guy that owns the deli — that would be aiming too high but the guy who makes the sandwiches —- well I apply lipstick for that guy. Anyhow, so, Mark Penn. Why so long, and at such a tremendous cost? What sort of deal did they have? Is he friends with Ron Burkle and Anne Hathaway's boyfriend? What is the deal there?

MEGAN: I mean, if you're politically and personally committed to someone, do you need $10+ million? He was shilling for the Colombians for $300K. Campaign staffers and Hill staffers work for peanuts. Hell, White House phone answerers work for practically minimum wage. What the hell did he need $10 million for?
MEGAN: I'm guessing she just felt sort of dependent on him and a little lost without him and he took advantage, plus Obama already had Axelrod.
MEGAN: Who, by the way, totally cracked a "the pen is not mightier than the 'rod" joke on MSNBC this morning and I switched channels.
MOE: Well that's just the thing. What if he had some top secret classified GPS-enabled brainwave-reading software hacked straight from Karl Rove himself that promised to deliver the coronation swiftly and bloodlessly? It like, didn't work, guys. And wait a second, AXELROD made that joke?
MOE: Hahahahahahahahahahaha that's aweosme.
MOE: I keep meaning to turn on the TV but it hasn't happened and as you may recall my MSNBC is still muted.
MEGAN: Axelrod totally did. Even Scarborough groaned. Axelrod claimed he'd made it up while on hold but Joe was all, dude, we all know you've been waiting to say that for months and it was the first time I wholeheartedly agreed with Joe Scarborough.

MOE: Hahahahahahaha
MEGAN: By the way, CNN is picking up the "blogging ourselves to death" story. I've got a cold. I've decided these things are related.

MOE: Of course he'd been saving that for months. How could you not? I'm sorry, it's so stupid, but so awesome. Okay, so, um...Pennsylvania! I keep reading conflicting things. Did you get through that Levittown piece? I got halfway through and will summarize: Levittown is a little blue-collar racist town in Pennsylvania in which the author was raised. It seemed aggressively "normal" and "solidly middle-class" then but it is all beer guts and broken dreams now. The Obama campaign headquarters is dominated by an old guy who was a Republican until he read the two Obama books. Black people don't live there.
MEGAN: Yeah, that sounds like where I grew up.
MEGAN: Also, I've been to one of those Obama roundtable meetings where you're, like, invited to testify like it's a religious meeting. A guy brought me there on a date. It's in the top 10 strangest dates ever. Neither of us called the other back. I didn't testify.

MOE: You missed a large inter-Gawker Inc. email-versation about that. I felt inadequate, as I have only one laptop and I sit on my couch all day and really haven't felt that 'adrenaline' feeling since the first week we launched. I certainly feel like I have blogged myself out of a life, but to death? Hmmmm.
MEGAN: I can only imagine the email thread.
MOE: This Condi pursuing the veepship — is that just crazy talk? Also, did McCain do anything else stupid lately?
MOE: I haven't been paying as much attention as I should have maybe.

MEGAN: Well, if he did it's totally been overshadowed by all the bowling and pandering going on in Pennsylvania.
MEGAN: Also, I can't see Condi pursuing it? I think people just mostly want her to and thus it's spawning the stories.
MEGAN: Whoa, CNN has been banned from reporting from Zimbabwe.
MOE: Oh, yeah, Zimbabwe! What's happening with that?
MEGAN: They're pretty screwed. They're going to have a runoff despite the fact that the President definitely lost. They're arresting some reporters and expelling others, bandits are taking over what few white-owned farms remain and armed militias are patrolling the streets for the "safety" of the people.

MOE: Oh should we address Charlton Heston and/or the PA primary? Charlton Heston: Michael Moore didn't even look like an ass making you look like an ass.
MEGAN: Charlton Heston: We can have his guns now, kthnxbi

Women! I think we can all agree we are guilty enough already! That's why, in lieu of the usual evening Jezebel news roundup, we're presenting you with ten things NOT to worry your head over. Read, and go back to feeling bad about carbs!

• The "Recession": Bull markets are the new black! [Washington Post]
  
• The rising cost of food. I think we all know one place the nation's poor people could use a little "cutting back." [WSJ]
  
• Betraying your feminist principles by marrying rich and staying in the union not a day longer than you'll need to live happily ever after on the alimony. Here's to gender parity: men are doing it these days, too! [WSJ]
  
• Haiti This little dirt-eating nation just got a visit from our very stunning Secretary Of State. Oh Condi, won't you reconsider your stance on joining Republican presidential ticket? It could so use a splash of color. [Wonkette]
  
• The ever-nastier tenor of this presidential campaign. At least one national pageant queen refuses to join the fray. Here's to you, Rachel Smith, for knowing that it sometimes is wisest to be seen and not heard. [Wonkette]

• "Meditating" on your next shopping spree! Now you can worry about whether your puppy's chakras are balanced correctly. [Washington Post]
• Not totally understanding what all the fuss is about "Basra" right now. John McCain doesn't either — and he masterminded the troop surge! [Think Progress]
• The social burden of all those reckless people who signed mortgages they couldn't afford and now think they can just declare bankruptcy. It won't be quite as painless for the ignorant freeloaders it was in the past. [New Yorker]
• That Elizabeth Edwards would be hypothetically left out of John McCain's health plan. Well Jeez, if anyone can afford it, she can. [Think Progress]
• All the nastiness directed at Sarah Jessica Parker lately. She has a really great metabolism. [People]

Princess Sparkle Pony is obsessed with Condi. For sure this guy could find something of interest in the new Condi Rice book, yes?????

So you know what the best, most exciting part of last week was? Waiting for Elizabeth Bumiller's Condiography to finally come out on Tuesday! You know what the worst, most boring part of last week was? Reading it! OMG, so boring!

Rice will have a difficult time shaking off one unflattering image served up by the book — of misjudging the Palestinian electorate. While on her elliptical trainer at 5 a.m on Jan. 26, 2006, she noticed surprising words scroll across the bottom of the television screen: "In wake of Hamas victory, Palestinian cabinet resigns." She had gone to bed sure that Hamas, which the United States had branded a terrorist organization, had lost the Palestinian parliamentary elections. She continued to exercise and then phoned her lieutenants at the State Department. They told her the television scroll was accurate. "Oh my goodness," she told herself, "Hamas won?"

What distinguishes Ms. Bumiller's book from other initial studies of the Bush administration and its principal actors is its absence of finger pointing or polemics. Ms. Bumiller's biography is scrupulously fair and most notable for its above-the-battle tone. In Ms. Bumiller's rendering Ms. Rice is neither hero nor villain but an ambitious woman whose achievements and shortcomings speak for themselves. "It was obvious from Rice's many metamorphoses that her real ideology was not idealism or realism or defending the citadels of freedom, although she displayed elements of all of them," Ms. Bumiller writes. "Her real ideology was succeeding."

The book does have a bland overall flavor—I couldn't quite make out whether Bumiller actually liked Rice. And it doesn't fully answer the No. 1 burning question about Condi's personal life, except to point out that she once almost married a professional football player, though no one seems to know why it fell through....But Bumiller may be reflecting the blandness, or rather the remoteness, of Rice herself.

A Woman Of Ambition, Neither Hero Nor Villain [New York Times]
Condoleezza Rice, An American Life [LA Times]
Excerpt [WSJ]
The Mystery Of Condi Rice [Slate]
Condi Rice: Gingerbread Woman [Wonkette]
Condi Book Ignores Blood On Her Hands [Bloomberg]