Tillie is a Jack Russell terrier who loved to scratch on the floor. In 1999, her owner, Bowman Hastie, discovered that when he put carbon paper on the floor, Tillie would scratch at it and make what looked to him like art, so he started selling her creations and has made approximately 100k doing so in the past decade. That's the cute story that led to Tillie's appearance on Conan last night alongside a giggling Josh Brolin, which went off the rails so hilariously that it's bound to become some sort of running joke — a bad interview is now a "Tillie." The clip above is only a small fraction of the insanity, so here's the whole interview in two parts:

Part One, the setup:

Part two, more examples of Tillie's major works:

Why? Well two reasons. One, it is sort of amazing that someone so mesmerizing onscreen can be so boring in real life, but there you have it. (Even Conan seemed a little underwhelmed, claiming that his cue cards simply read “kill time.”) Two: Boring or not, Meloni does not appear on this blog nearly as often as he should, and after Megan's post from earlier this afternoon, we all need some eye candy.

In this clip, Meloni shouts out something indecipherable (which we swear we heard as “Obama’s penis,”) before going on to discuss his many female fans, claiming that while he is frequently recognized by men, they always say “my wife loves you, man.” (Emphasis ours.) According to Meloni, guys do not watch Law & Order, or at least they refuse to admit it. This is his only amusing line.