You know how there are those people who just know what they want? And then they take it? And then they're happy with their choices!?!!?!??? Yeah, those people are like aliens to me. I'm forever in this weird space of simultaneously wanting all of the stuff and wanting none of the stuff. And then people are like, "Just…

Former Presidential Candidate and alleged serial ladygrabber Herman Cain's been on a bit of a media blitz lately. First, he appeared on Fox News to inform viewers that men like Mitt Romney because they're more informed about policy than "other people" (psst: women!). Now, a TV commercial that uses the bizarre…