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Shopaholic Found Dead
Confessions Of A Shopaholic

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whynotshesaid
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
One more link for fellow Jezzie book hoarders: www.paperbackswap.com. Not only does it let me get rid of old books I don't want to keep but it lets me get new ones, too.
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Remedios Varo can't see no huevos.
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
Oh lord, just this morning my dad was telling me about some repair job he did for a woman whose house he said was 'the filthiest he's ever seen.' I hope this doesn't happen to that lady.
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CrimsonGlow
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
My mom is a hoarder. It's not as extreme as some of these stories - she keeps the main floor of the house really nice and generally clutter free. But the basement, her bedroom and bathroom, and multiple spare rooms are all filled with boxes and piles and piles of stuff, to the point that you can barely walk through them. She buys so many things that she will never use, and stuff she probably would use if she could even find it. It's overwhelming and I know she isn't happy about it, but I don't think she knows where to begin to change things. This has been going on for years and it's clearly a symptom of an underlying problem that isn't being solved, even though she's already on two anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. It makes me sad whenever I go home for a visit - and it worries me because I know I have the same tendencies.
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Plum-Pie
01/09/09

@CrimsonGlow: I PM'd you.
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la.donna.pietra
01/09/09

@CrimsonGlow: My dad built an entire barn (full-size, two stories) to store all of the stuff that would no longer fit in our "great room," basement, and garage. It is now completely full. Organized, but full.
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Christina Deka
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
Two years ago, I was working as an Editorial Assistant for a newspaper in Connecticut. One day, my boss sent me out to do a feature on an Ephemera Convention that was taking place in the city. On the surface, it seemed pretty normal. It was just a bunch of nice, middle-aged collectors who wanted to buy old posters and post cards. But then I started interviewing people, and boy did things get strange. I asked one woman why she started collecting stuff. She proceeded to tell me that after she got married, her mother went through all of her childhood things--toys, etc.--and threw them out. I guessing her mom just thought, "Hey my kid is married, she moved out, she doesn't need this crap anymore." Well, you could tell that this woman was still traumatized by what happened. She just kept saying, "Didn't she know that I still WANTED that stuff?" "How could she DO that? I WANTED my things!" It was almost like she starting collecting stuff to make up for what happened. It was very unsettling and very sad. Also, my aunt is a collector, and her habits are borderline creepy. She never married and lives alone, which plays into the "spinster" caricature I guess. But she must have thousands of dollars worth of figurines, ornaments, books, and posters in her apartment. It's all organized and cataloged too, although she never has anyone over, so it's really not for show. I think people like that do have security issues. I think they hoard stuff for safety, because they need to have control over something. From what I know of my aunt, which is very little, when she was younger she had very low self-esteem. I don't think she's ever had a boyfriend, or serious relationship, and from what I've heard her say, it doesn't sound like she believes she deserves anyone. She's in her late 50's now. Maybe I'm just projecting my own feelings on to her. I don't know. But it just breaks my heart.
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Plum-Pie
01/09/09

@Christina Deka: gosh - that's almost like Elton john who said who got more 'love' from things than he did from people. I wonder if he said that before or after he got married?
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BlondeGrlz
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
This is how I will die, only when they find my body it will have been mostly eaten by my cats.
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gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
Yesterday!!!

I decided to clean the household cleaner cabinet, which was a mess and had way too much stuff. This led to cleaning out the cleaning stuff cabinet in the laundry room (you know how cleaning one space leads to another).

So I'm in the laundry room, which is very small, and notice that it is absolutely filty, and start cleaning there, when lo and behold, I notice all manner of clothing behind the washer and dryer, and the hose from the dryer has come loose.

I manage to move the washer so I can squeeeeze behind and fix the dryer hose, smash my head on the overhead cabinet (with the cleaning stuff now nicely sorted), run the dryer over my toes, and while screaming in pain, notice that I CANNOT GET OUT. I AM STUCK FOR THIRTY MINUTES. I finally managed to push and shove the washer around just enough that I can pull myself on top of the dryer and get out and taste freeeeddddooommm.

Moral: even when you clean, you can get stuck under and behind immovable objects. That's what I got for cleaning. And now I am more determined than ever to lose some weight in case I ever get stuck again.
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Plum-Pie
01/09/09

@gerbilsoutofexile.anti-depressant withdrawal back with a ve...: Yikes!

I can only clean one room in my flat at a time - anything more and I feel like I'm punishing myself.
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gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy
01/09/09

@Plum-Pie: For me, one thing always leads to another, and then the first thing gets put aside, and I end up with a whole lot of things going on at once.

For instance, earlier this week, I peeled the wallpaper in the dining room down. I should have the walls completely repainted and pictures hung and the room back together by now. But do I? Nope, though I did manage to buy the paint two days ago. Instead, I will clean out the master bedroom walk-in closet today. Which will probably lead to cleaning out something in the coat/stuff closet and that requires a total overhaul right now, as well.

I sense a long haul of cleaning and painting coming on, none of it in proper order.
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Plum-Pie
01/09/09

@gerbilsoutofexile.anti-depressant withdrawal back with a ve...: I bought a lft which needs a lot of repairs about 18 mths ago and now.. it's nearly there so I really do feel your pain. I did lots of dim things like not repainting the walls before the flooring was done so I had to be very careful when covering the floors.

The only way I can manage regular cleaning is in tiny bites and by being very pessimistic about what I have the time and energy to do.
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Plum-Pie
01/09/09

@Plum-Pie: I bought a lft??? A "flat", obviously.
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LaComtesse
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
Also, I'm seeing a lot of people who can relate to this woman: anyone feel the opposite, as in, I am the opposite of a hoarder. I cannot STAND clutter, or STUFF, my first impulse when I haven't used something in a while is to toss it. I HATE chachkees. This even influences the way I pack: I have gone on 3 week foreign vacations with a duffel bag--Mr. LaComtesse is the opposite in every way mentioned.
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EkaterinaBallerina
01/09/09

@LaComtesse: That's understandable, I hate clutter too and I'm obsessive about cleaning and organization. But, I'm a hoarder myself and everything has a place and is neat. My fear with tossing stuff is that a lot of it is not recyclable and going to be bad for the environment when it ends up in a landfill. My strange guilt for Mother Earth tends to dissuade me from tossing the unnecessary items
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Plum-Pie
01/09/09

@EkaterinaBallerina: Do you use Freecycle? I've been surprised at the things that other people need for gardening / home improvement / craft projects.
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EkaterinaBallerina
01/09/09

@Plum-Pie: No, where can I find out about that? We donate to Vietnam Vets and local shelters when we discard clothes and shoes, but for generic junk I have no idea what to with them other than toss them.
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bklyn155
01/09/09

@LaComtesse: Please please share how you pack for 3 weeks in single a duffel bag. I mean it, if can you post your packing list, I will be so grateful. I travel 6 times a year and still can't get the 'travel light' concept down.
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Plum-Pie
01/09/09

@EkaterinaBallerina: Have a look at www.freecycle.org. Groups are organised and moderated locally (in the UK, through Yahoo groups).

If you live in an area with a very active group, you will need to set up a separate email account or folder with a filter in your current email account. (I live in London and my local group can get 100 messages over the weekend!)

LaC, I've derailed your thread for which I apologies but I think freecycle is too good a resource not to brag about.
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LaComtesse
01/09/09

@bklyn155: Ha! I don't know, I feel like "Why would you need more than that?" I mean, I guess my advice would be to repeat/mix and match outfits and if you have to ask yourself "Will I need this?" don't bring it, because you PROBABLY won't. Off top my head, 3 weeks would require...

4 pairs of pants (rolled)
4 versatile/day to evening dresses (rolled)
6 shirts (rolled)
1 extra pair of shoes (I recommend just going in your vacation appropriate shoes, if you do a lot of walking and bringing ballet flats with you, since you can wear those comfortably but they dress up and they fit easily in a bag.)
3 weeks worth of underwear and bras
toiletries (facewash, toothbrush, razor, contact solution... none of your crazy skin regemines. And minimal make-up--no more than five items tops. All this can andshould fit in a little makeup bag.)
notebook
books for plane
folder for travel documents, etc.
camera

... yeah. That def. fits in a duffle.
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EkaterinaBallerina
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
Oh damn, there go my plans for creating a house out of all the items in my closet. Man, I had such high hopes for that shoebox shower...
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LaComtesse
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
Okay, this is seriously something out of the movie "Seven." You can't tell me this couldn't fit into the bizarre ways Kevin Spacey killed people just fine...
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Plum-Pie
01/09/09

@LaComtesse: Brilliant! Which sin though? Greed?
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LaComtesse
01/09/09

@Plum-Pie: But of course--her material posessions were literally the death of her. Christ I loved that movie. I want to watch it again now.
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gherkinfiend
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
Also British book loving Jezebels may like to know about [www.readitswapit.co.uk]

You can swap any type of book for simply the cost of posting it to someone. A great way to clear out books or get new titles your library might not stock yet...(plus it has saved me a fortune in library fines!)
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Plum-Pie
01/09/09

@gherkinfiend: Also it attracts a very civilised type of reader!

(You can rate other users so everyone is very polite and prompt and whatnot.)
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Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred)
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
See, I'm flat broke and yet my place is still so packed full of crap that I have to wade through my room to get to my bed. I have no doubt that if I went shopping, say, once a week, I would have died in this way years ago.
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Plum-Pie
01/09/09

@Glitterbug: I was much messier when I was poorer, which reinforces my view that not getting rid of stuff one doesn't need is often to do with feeling vulnerable or unstable in some way.
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gherkinfiend
01/09/09

@Plum-Pie: Good point. I got much more attached to items when I was homeless. I used to go to my storage unit just to look at my stuff and it made me feel more normal...

@rosasparks: My mum still has lots of the pictures and cards my brother and I made when we were kids. She found some of our Santa letters and hung them on the tree this Christmas. It was adorable and hilarious!
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Plum-Pie
01/09/09

@Glitterbug: Ouch. That sounded very judgmental, which is not what I intended. (Almost goes through stages of being skint and I still feel that I only just have my messiness under control.) I apologise unreservedly.
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Plum-Pie
01/09/09

@Plum-Pie: "Almost everyone"
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
I saw a CSI-type reality show once, where someone called the police because they hadn't seen their neighbor in weeks. So the cops and all get there and can hardly even get in the house because the guy was a hoarder. When they finally found his body, they had to cut out part of the side of his house just to get him out. It was awful.
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Khrushchev
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
BOOK HOARDERS!!!

I cannot reply to you in thread, but use this website:

www.librarything.com

You will never be so happy to hoard.
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Grim Reaper of the Forest
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
I took some church kids to clean houses of elderly people in DC, and the house I ended up in was of a serious hoarder, but sadly it was not combined with obsessive neatness. Her fridge was full of unidentifiable moldy, slimy and soupy items that she was unable to throw away, and her rooms were jammed with stacks of old newspapers. I am messy and a pack rat too, so I'm glad I had that traumatizing experience to serve as a cautionary tale.
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TheUptightMidwesterner
01/09/09

In reply to Shopaholic Found Dead
Note to self:

Have garage sale this spring.
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