• Kanye West new life of humility isn't off to a good start. Over the weekend at Common's benefit show in Hollywood he threw a fit when he wasn't offered food backstage and saw another man eating chicken.

• Kanye shouted, "Why wasn't I offered chicken? You want me to perform for free, [and] everyone is eating... why am I not eating?" When his chicken was delivered he took one bite and threw the rest in the trash. [Vibe]
• Lady Gaga says of Kanye West's incident at the VMAs, "He's a good guy and everybody makes mistakes, and he feels so fucking bad. He really does... Everyone likes to focus on gossip, but he's changed music and he's really prolific and an incredible person, and I think it's unfair to judge somebody on one mistake they've made. That moment really portrayed him in a way that he really isn't. It was just a random moment." [The Sun]
• Kate Gosselin went to the Stars, Stripes, & Skates charity ice skating event in Connecticut and her TLC crew freaked out when they realized Jill Zarin and Luann DeLesseps were also there filming RHONY for Bravo. Kate wasn't allowed to get in Bravo's shot and when Jill Zarin tried to introduce herself when the cameras weren't rolling, "It completely threw her off guard and Steve [Neild] stepped in between them, attempting to keep them apart." Later one of her other bodyguards blocked Nikki Blonsky, who was hosting the event, from getting on stage. [E!]
• Dennis Hopper was rushed to a hospital in New York earlier today. He arrived in an ambulance wearing an oxygen mask. [Ok]
• Roman Polanski is surviving on only five Swiss francs (about $5) a day in prison. He is allowed to spend them money on phone calls. He also has a cable television in his cell. Like other prisoners, he's allowed to earn more money by making cardboard boxes or envelopes. [Times of London]
• John Travolta testified again today in the Bahamian extortion trial, explaining that his employee Ronald Zupancic initially told him about the plot to release a document to "imply that the death of my son was intentional and I was culpable in some way." He says he never spoke to any of the defendants and all their demands were made through his lawyer. [TMZ]
• This is disturbing on so many levels: Spencer Pratt says he's refusing to have sex with wife Heidi Montag because he's afraid she'll go off her birth control without telling him. "I'm not even kidding, my wife – OK, I'm gonna get crass here – but we're barely having sex because I'm scared that she's gonna have a baby," he says. "That's the level our marriage is on right now. I'm not even kidding – my wife has me debating cutting off my nuts." [People]
• A judge has granted Audrina Patridge's request for a 3-year restraining order against Zachory Loring, whoc she claims is stalking her. The judge said the evidence against him was "quite disturbing" after Audrina read a creepy poem he's sent her. [TMZ]
• While leaving court Audrina said, "I feel safe now." [TMZ]
• Temple Hill Entertainment has acquired the rights to turn Lauren Conrad's book L.A. Candy into a movie. [Variety]
• Jason Wahler has been jailed in Seattle for assault and a minor drinking charge. A court official said, "He will serve 120 days in jail but could get out after 80 days for good behavior." [Radar Online]
• TMZ has obtained a recording of the walkie-talkie chatter among E! producers at Khloe Kardashian's wedding which reveals the whole things was elaborately staged, including the moment Khloe told Bruce Jenner she considers him her "real dad." [TMZ]
• Matt LeBlanc will star in a new show called Episodes as a satirical version of himself. The show will be jointly produced by the BBC and Showtime and is about a British couple whose hit comedy is reworked into an American show starring LeBlanc. He said he's glad he got the role because, "seeing someone else play Matt LeBlanc would have been devastating." [N.Y. Times]
• Lisa Kudrow and Courteney Cox were on stage at the Rock a Little Reed a Lot benefit concert for Feeding America on Tuesday when the audience began demanding she sing "Smelly Cat." Cox said, "Get her a guitar, people," and she performed the song. [People]
• Chynna Phillips is relaunching her music career as a member of the contemporary Christian duo Chynna and Vaughan. Her album launched on September 22, the day before her sister Mackenzie Phillips went on The Oprah Winfrey Show to reveal her incestuous relationship with their father. [People]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck will return to The View on October 19. [AP]
• For those concerned, when All My Children moves from New York to Los Angeles they will not lose Erica Kane. Though Susan Lucci says her life is in New York, she'll move to L.A. to stay with the show. [AP]
• Wu-Tang Clan's RZA is appealing a lawsuit brought by Ghostface Killah disputing his 50% share of the group's royalties. It was reported last week that Ghostface Killah had been awarded $158,000 but RZA says, "The judgment has not been entered yet, and we are appealing the case. I'm not appealing because I don't want to pay Ghost something that I owe him. Anything I owe him I would give him ... But he's with a group of people who to me have a misunderstanding of hip-hop and contracts." [The Guardian]
• Lisa Marie Presley is countersuing her former nanny who has accused her of forcing her to work without overtime because she says she broke her contract by posting pictures of Presley's twins on Facebook. [TMZ]
• Emmanuelle Béart says even though appearing in Mission: Impossible opened a lot of doors in Hollywood she decided to stick to return to France and stick to art films because: "'I was young. I wasn't ready. I had just had a baby and even though I liked the director, and Tom [Cruise] was very professional, I couldn't bear it. All the press junkets and the interviews… I came home to Paris and I never really wanted to go back." She says she regrets it, "In a way. But I am 46 now. It's not what I am about to do." [The Telegraph]
• Ricky Gervais says of people insulting him, "I love it and I don't know if that's because I've got no ego at all or such a big ego that nothing can hurt me. Someone insulting me makes me laugh." [The Mirror]
• Jon Hamm was spotted buying Mad Men DVDs in a Boston Borders. When approached by a fan he said, "You've got me in a dork moment,"and explained he was buying them as gifts. [ONTD]

• Justin Timberlake and Rihanna reportedly hooked up after the VMAs and they've "been seeing each other for the past few weeks," says a source, "He is really into her and it's only a matter of time before he dumps Jessica".

• The source suggests that they were the subject of a New York Daily News blind item last week that said, "Which two pop stars made sweet music on Sunday night after the gal gave the guy a private lap dance? Hope his longtime girlfriend doesn't find out ..." [Showbiz Spy, N.Y. Daily News]
• Chynna Phillips says when her half-sister Mackenzie Phillips revealed that she had an incestuous relationship with their father John Phillips for 10 years, a part of her died. But, she adds, "After long nights of heroin use, she's claiming that she once woke up and that my father was on top of her having sex with her. Was he actually raping her? I don't know. Do I believe that they had an incestuous relationship and that it went on for 10 years? Yes." [Us]
• Chynna's mother, Michelle Phillips, the ex-wife John Phillips, says her stepdaughter is lying about their incestuous relationship. She says Mackenzie told the family in 1997 "She told me, then she called me back and said, ‘You know I'm joking,' " Michelle said. "I said it wasn't funny. Mackenzie said, ‘I guess we have different senses of humor.' " She says Oprah Winfrey should have never let her do the show and added, "Mackenzie has a lot of mental illness. She's had a needle stuck up her arm for 35 years. She was arrested for heroin and coke just recently. She did ‘Celebrity Rehab' and now she writes a book. The whole thing is timed... Mackenzie is jealous of her siblings, who have accomplished a lot and did not become drug addicts." [Showbiz 411]
• Hailey Glassman was pictured walking out of a plastic surgeon's office looking disheveled as her parents helped her walk. Star claims she got a boob job because she wants to compete with all the women hitting on Jon Gosselin and that she plans to get even more work done for him. [Star]
• Joe Francis' tax evasion case has ended in a plea deal. Francis agreed to plead guilty to two counts of filing false tax returns one one count of bribing Nevada jail workers in exchange for food. He'll have to pay $250,000 in restitution and receive credit for the 301 days he already spent in jail in 2007. He could have faced 10 years in prison. [AP]
• John Travolta testified this morning in the trial of two Bahamians accused of hatching an extortion plot against his family. He said the nanny woke him and Kelly Preston up and said his son, Jett, was unconscious on the bathroom floor. Travolta ran downstairs and gave his son CPR along with a caretaker. Travolta admitted for the first time that in addition to Kawasaki disease, Jett was autistic. "My son was autistic and he suffered from seizure disorder every 5 to 10 days," said Travolta. "He would suffer a seizure that would last 45 seconds to a minute and sleep for 12 hours." It's unclear if Travolta will have to testify again tomorrow. [E!, People]
• John Travolta said he and Kelly Preston rode with Jett to the hospital in the ambulance and were told he was "not alive." [TMZ]
• Lynn Redgrave said of her niece Natasha Richardson, who died in March, "Well, we just go on, day by day... We remember her every day, we'll never forget. She was a bright, bright light in our lives." [People]
• Howard K. Stern was arraigned today on 11 felony counts related to Anna Nicole Smith's prescription drug use. He plead not guilty. [TMZ]
• Ellen Pompeo has given birth to a baby girl, Stella Luna Pompeo Ivery. [People]
• Jude Law has become a father again. Samantha Burke gave birth to their daughter on Tuesday night. "I doubt Jude was there," says a source. "Besides the financial support, he's not involved." [People]
• Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart are suing Gawker.com for $1 million for posting their nude video online and are seeking an injunction to have the video taken down. Gawker publisher (and our boss) Nick Denton Tweeted: "To quote the great Marty Singer — Eric Dane's lawyer — if you don't want a sex tape on the internet, 'don't make one!'" [TMZ]
• Looks like we owe Lindsay Lohan an apology! Though we assumed she was just rambling nonsensically when she Tweeted, "Nice to see @samantharonson has found a 90210 rather than being a loyal" over the weekend, it turns out Samantha Ronson has filmed a guest appearance on 90210. She advises one of the characters "on matters of the heart." [People]
• Here's the new poster for Disney's The Princess and the Frog: [ONTD]
• Amy Winehouse's rep says the story that Amy went to a school in London and spit at a girl who was bullying her goddaughter is "absolutely untrue." [Daily Express]
• Here's the new promo video for the Fame Kills tour, featuring Lady Gaga and Kanye West. [Perez Hilton]
• The sister of Michael Lawrence Kozelka, the man accused of stalking Jewel, says he hasn't had any contact with the family for two years and has had a hard time holding down a job. She apologized to Jewel on his behalf. [AP]
• Betty White will guest star on an episode of 30 Rock this season! [Entertainment Tonight]
• Though reports that Jaclyn Smith was shot yesterday are untrue, Sandra Franklin, her Charlie's Angels stunt double, really did get shot in the abdomen in Honduras while in her home. [TMZ]
• La Toya Jackson is covering this season of Dancing With the Stars for Access Hollywood. [UPI]
• Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, who host a faith-themed program together, are planning to give away 100,000 copies of a new edition of Charles Darwin's On The Origin Of Species which, "shares the gospel in an updated introduction, designed to clear up the pervasive mistake that Darwin did not believe in the existence of God." [UPI]
• Sadly, there is no truth to the reports that Anderson Cooper will replace Regis Philbin on Live With Regis And Kelly next year. "Regis is the king," Cooper says. "He's not going anywhere!" He adds, "It's completely made up. I have no idea where it came from. Regis is not retiring, and I'm very happy with what I'm doing." [People]
• This headline makes us want to, well, barf: "Jennifer Love Hewitt: My Boyfriend Helps Me Diet" [People]
• Joseph Fiennes says he didn't chase big budget movies after Shakespeare In Love because, "There's always going to be a Next Big Thing and a hottest this and the sexiest that. That's the nature of the beast, but I didn't want to be involved in it. It's too easy to get pigeonholed in the movie business, and I didn't want to be pigeonholed. I wanted to be a free agent, and if I wanted to go and work with strange European alternative filmmakers rather than big American studios, I could." [Esquire]
• Drew Barrymore says, "I am okay with my dad, but my mom and I have yet to work it out... I don't talk about it because … how do you talk about something you're confused about?" [People]
• Nicholas Cage used to drink before filming Leaving Las Vegas to get into character and Werner Herzog says of Cage's role in his upcoming film Bad Lieutenant, "There's a scene where Terence rips open a bag of coke and snorts it. Nic was so realistic I was frightened. I thought he was no longer snorting the prop cocaine, the saccharine. So I asked Nic, 'What is it that you are snorting?' He just smiled and said, 'The prop, of course.' But he was just so realistic." [NY Magazine]
• Common says rap is taking a new direction thanks to President Obama. "I also don't find as much gangsta talk," he said. "You see the whole chain-shining-and-rim era is gone. That's like super-played out. Just to have that, I think, is part of the Obama effect." [CNN]

[New York, July 6. Image via INF]

• Britney shouted, "What's up London?" at a recent gig… In Manchester. Mancunians were irritated. [Daily Mail]

• Beyoncé backed out of a performance at a club in New York — and the club owner says he's already spent $100,000 preparing for the show. Lawsuit threat! [Page Six]
• Rihanna is expected in court on Monday as a witness in Chris Brown's assault case; her testimony will not be televised. [CNN]
• Angelina was taping Anderson Cooper 360 for World Refugee Day and said: "I usually just explain to [my kids] that there are other families in the world that aren't as fortunate as ours and other kids'...And so I tell them that it's important for all of us to do what we can and then go to these places and understand what's happening, Hopefully I'll take them to as many countries as I can and raise them with an education of the world." [E!]
• Here's a transcript of Anderson Cooper's interview with Angelina. [CNN]
• Oh for the love of God. Someone has their hands on a sex tape starring Leighton Meester — Blair from Gossip Girl — and it involves her "very talented feet." [TMZ]
• Jessica Alba has sent a donation to the United Way after defacing on of their billboards. Good idea! [E!]
• Sacha Baron Cohen wore a bull outfit in Spain yesterday. As you can see in this picture, his black costume had horns, a prominent penis and a hooves. He was attended by cute bullfighters. [USA Today]
• Katherine Heigl is staying on for season six of Grey's Anatomy. [E!]
• If Jill Scott is nominated for an Emmy for The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency and wins, she'll be the first African-American actress to have a best TV drama actress award. [LA Times]
• Dina Lohan, a little late on the uptake, has commented that her daughter Lindsay Lohan had nothing to do with the jewelry theft from an Elle photo shoot. Yeah. We know. Dina also says: "Last month her personal cell was posted online and now her phone messages have been hacked. This must stop. She is a 22-year-old girl who needs to live her life in peace. The tabloids need to leave her alone with all the lies and reporting with no proof." [People]
• Just what you always wanted: Jennifer Love Hewitt is writing a dating book called The Say I Shot Cupid. "I thought it was time to share the real story of what I've learned navigating the dating waters," she says. "Hopefully, in addition to having a good laugh, women reading this will learn from some of my hard lessons." [People]
• Shanna Moakler, who resigned as president from the Miss California USA organization, says: "If Donald Trump gives his blessing, I'll be back in a heartbeat." [E!]
• Hmm: Did Olive Garden pull its ad dollars from David Letterman's show after his kerfluffle with Sarah Palin? [Ad Age]
• Conan O'Brien is beating David Letterman in certain demographics, but Letterman is close behind in total viewers. [Variety]
• "Today I begin my fast for Darfur." — Maria Bello. [Huffington Post]
• Oh, dear: Amy Winehouse is causing trouble on St. Lucia. Just by being there! An "influential local newspaper proprietor" believes that Amy's stay on the island is good publicity; a former government spin doctor says Amy should have been arrested and kicked out of the country by "the morality police." [Guardian]
• In this story, Beth Ditto goes off on Katy Perry and her "party song" "I Kissed A Girl." Ditto says: "As a gay person, it's like, 'Oh, of course this straight person singing about kissing a girl goes straight to Top 40 and people buy this record. Who can give a fuck about real gay people?' That's what's really painful about the whole thing." [Spinner]
• George Michael was banned from driving for 2 years, but now he's back behind the wheel, with a new car: a $200,000 Ferrari California. Something subtle and low-profile. [Luxist]
• Au revoir! David and Victoria Beckham are thinking of selling their home ins the South of France. [The Sun]
• David Archuleta's dad has pleaded no contest to "patronizing" a prostitute in a Salt Late City massage parlor. And he doesn't mean he was condescending to her. He means he was a customer! He paid a $582 fine and completed a counseling class. [USA Today]
• LeAnn Rimes is not getting a divorce, says LeAnn's rep. [E!]
• Josie Bissett will return to Melrose Place — as a guest star. [People]
• Do Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo live under a rock? They have never heard of Susan Boyle. [Us Magazine]
• "Susan Boyle was dropped from a second Britain's Got Talent concert last night after launching into a bizarre rant over her beloved cat Pebbles." [Daily Mail]
• In this interview, Tyrese refers to himself in the third person and says: "I believe that people are going to love Transformers 2." Of course you do. [USA Today]
• OMG. If Susanne Bartsch had been on the Real Housewives Of New York it would have been a much different show. She is a legend, a spectacle and a freak show — rolled into one — in the best possible way. [NY Mag]
• Check out this zany interview with Bob Odenkirk and David Cross, the Mr. Show duo, who are reuniting for a string of Chicago shows. [Milwaukee Decider]
• You've gotta love these pictures of Sienna Miller "stumbling" out a club with rumored romantic interest, Irish comedian Patrick Kielty — her hair's disheveled and he's got a cocktail in his hand as he sits in the cab. [Daily Mail]
• But wait! Don't miss these pictures of Kate Moss writhing on stage with Pink Floyd's David Gilmour as she sings at a karaoke party. [Daily Mail]
• LOL: Robin Wright Penn calls Keanu Reeves a "gentle giant." [The Star]
• When asked about Sean Penn, Robin joked: "Thank God somebody's staying with the kids!" [Mirror]
• "Heidi Fleiss speaks up for tropical birds." [Sadie Frost is 44 and single and just hosted a speed-dating night, which is "news." [Daily Express]
• Common and Queen Latifah will star in a sports romance called Just Wright, in which a sports trainer finds herself falling in love with a professional basketball player while rehabilitating him from a career-threatening injury. [Variety]
• Kevin Williamson is working on a new Scream trilogy, but Neve Campbell refuses to be in it. Williamson's Twitter reads: "This sucks." [ONTD]
• Hollywood is out of ideas, part MCDLXXXV: Teen Wolf remake. On the way. [Movie Hole]
• Gravely ill: Walter Cronkite. [NY Post]
• Jeremy Piven hasn't eaten fish in 10 months. [People]
• Blind item! "Which music mogul looks at himself in the mirror every morning and recites an ode to his greatness?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I would love to do [a movie about] Harriet Tubman. I think maybe one day a slave epic. Apart from Roots, which was on television, I don't think there's been a serious film dealing with slavery in this country. It would need alternative means of finance. It's not something that you could get made through the traditional Hollywood system." — from "10 Questions With Spike Lee." [Time]
• "Jennifer does not share the same sense of humor as me - she did not like my jokes. I was picking on [Jen's husband] Ben Affleck and making fun of him because I've known him for a really long time - I was talking smack - and Jennifer goes, 'You know, if you keep saying stuff about him, I'm going to kick your ass.' And she could - I've seen Alias. She has a real girly sense of humor and didn't understand that I was kidding." — Kevin Smith. [Gatecrasher]
• "It feels to me like [the band] has run its course at the moment. I'm not going to quit making music, and I probably will make some more Nine Inch Nails stuff down the road. But I'm going to try some different things now." — Trent Reznor says NIN is going on hiatus after a summer tour. [Newsweek]
• "If there's any turmoil, I think it's managing all of it, but having an incredible team that helps me do that it makes it very easy, or easier than it would normally be attempting to do it myself." — Usher on filing for divorce. [Mirror]
• "I'm embarrassed to say it was my first time voting-but my guy got in." — Ginuwine, who never paid attention to politics until Barack Obama came along. [US News & World Report]
• "Maybe because she doesn't look anything special, people identify with her. I get letters all the time from people who think she is real, and they give me fashion tips for dressing better, telling me that if I smarten myself up I'll be able to stand up to everyone better at the magazine." — America Ferrera, on her Ugly Betty character. [Daily Mail]
• "Right now I'm shouting out to real dads. Some are great role models with real academic achievements. Some are not ... We deserve the love!!! We put up with everything, standing true to what's real and letting life take its course protecting our household, our woman, our children, our family ... Biggest Shout To My Son On The Way!!" — Nas. (Wait, what?) [TMZ]
• "There was lot of material to memorize… Curb is improvised and I'm making it up as I go along in many cases. Here, I was doing someone else's words, which was really a pleasure, because you can get pretty sick of being yourself every minute of every day. To actually have a chance to say someone else's words, no less Woody Allen's, was fun." — Larry David, on being in Whatever Works. [WSJ]
• "I've been wearing similar outfits to Lady GaGa for years across Europe while I've been promoting my records. Now when I wear outrageous costumes people say I'm copying her. It really annoys me. She stole my look and I want it back." — Swedish singer September, who appears to favor rubber and blonde hair. [The Sun]
• "My parents' generation wasn't so good at that… Now, I try to talk to my kids - they don't want to hear it from me. They know." — Michelle Pfeiffer on giving the bird and bees talk. [NY Magazine]
• "I've known Sacha since he did Bruno when he was a young man and my son is named Bruno after him – partly after Bruno!" — Nigella Lawson. [Daily Express]
• "Back then everyone wanted their body to look like mine. Women would say: 'I've worked out for five years to look like you.' I'd trained constantly for the film, but I couldn't sustain my fitness." — Linda Hamilton's Terminator biceps hit the screen 25 (?!?) years ago. [Daily Mail]
• "Man, I'm not into that stuff. All I need is a brush. That and some Carol's Daughter Body Butter to keep off the ash. My family, we use this stuff at home. I wish I had the time to get manicures and pedicures, but the season is so crazy. Some people make the time, but I don't." — LeBron James, as he got a cucumber-and-lavender manicure. [NY Mag]
• "Who am I? I'm just another schmendrick who used to be in a goy band. I don't know what the hell that means either, but I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be funny… Ok, that's enough schtick in the box from me." — Justin Timberlake's jokes at an event at the United Jewish Federation, where his record label boss, Barry Weiss, was being honored. [AP]

[New York, February 17. Image via Getty]

• Sarah Palin's spokespeople say she is not snubbing Oprah Winfrey by refusing to appear on her show. Palin's flack says it's "nothing personal" and that Palin has just been too busy. "The governor was invited to appear. She was also invited to appear on Letterman, Leno, Stephanopoulos, The Daily Show. She passed on a vast majority of these requests," Palin's spokesdude, Bill McAllister, says. Uh oh. Now Palin has really done it. You can slight Letterman; you can kick Stephanopoluos to the curb. But you never, ever mess with the Oprah. [CNN]
• Katy Perry is publicly apologizing for calling herself a "skinnier version" of Lily Allen last year. "I was just kind of joking and trying to be funny," Perry tells Us. "I didn't mean anything by it. Comedians are not necessarily to be taken super seriously." Hmm, Lily's not so amused! Quoth Ms. Allen: "She's like, 'Aha, I'm like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinner version of Lily Allen!' It's like, you're not English and you don't write your own songs, shut up!" [Us]

• Jessica Biel is lamenting the lack of good roles for women in Hollywood. "Your face and your body can get your foot in the door, obviously. And I'm thankful for that…But I think it's almost historical in Hollywood that there just aren't so many good parts for women as they are for men. I think as long as you're playing the wife or the girlfriend to the lead then you're always playing second fiddle to the guys." [People]
• With one failed starter marriage behind her, Kate Hudson says she's not sure she'll wed again, not even if it involves a kooky scenario in which she competes with her bff for bridezilla honors. "I don't know if I'll ever get married again…I don't know. ... It depends on who you end up with." [People]
• Kid Rock is telling PETA to suck it. "I want to go to war with PETA. My biggest extravagance is fur coats — I've got every kind of animal in my wardrobe," says Kid. We're sure this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that his ex, Pam Anderson, is a fur-hatin' PETA spokeswoman. No, nothing at all. [US News & World Report]
• T.R. Knight's press folks say that despite rumors, he will not be leaving Grey's Anatomy. [UPI, EW]
• Um, now they're telling People that he is leaving. [People]
• Police were called to Stevie Wonder's house in the San Fernando Valley after his cousin "reportedly began unloading items including a fridge onto the property." Apparently the fridge was neither signed, sealed, nor delivered appropriately. [Daily Express]
• Check out O.J.'s booking photo here if you want a new image for your dart board. [TMZ]
• Kate Moss knows how to keep help. The diminutive model allegedly took her nanny, Mary Davidson, on a shopping spree at Topshop in London. "Kate kept insisting that she ‘buy buy buy’! She was shouting: ‘Come on girls!’ to their pals and seemed keen to get them some fantastic clobber. Pretty soon Mary perked up and began tearing clothes off the racks. Shoppers looked shocked to see Kate running round the store," a source says. [The London Paper]
• We interrupt our regularly scheduled hating on Gwyneth Paltrow to congratulate her on her fifth wedding anniversary to Coldplay crooner Chris Martin. You can now go back to your Goopenfreude. [Daily Express]
• Speaking of Chris Martin, he and the rest of his Coldplay bandmates are denying that they plagiarized one of guitarist Joe Satriani's songs, releasing a statement that read, in part, ""Joe Satriani is a great musician, but he did not write or have any influence on the song 'Viva La Vida.' We respectfully ask him to accept our assurances of this and wish him well with all future endeavors." [Yahoo]
• Clay Aiken's got a booooyfriend: he's been linked to Broadway dancer Reed Kelly. The pair met when Aiken was doing Spamalot. Heh. Doing. Spam. A Lot. [Star]
• Common thinks that Barack Obama's election will make hip hop more hopeful. "I think hip-hop artists will have no choice but to talk about different things and more positive things, and try to bring a brighter side to that because, even before Barack, I think people had been tired of hearing the same thing." Hip Hope Hooray? [CNN ]
• Jimmy Fallon's web shorts, a precursor to his forthcoming late night show on NBC, have debuted online. Everyone thinks they suck. [Perez]
• Speaking of Weekend Update refugees, next week's SNL will unfortunately be Amy Poehler's last. "Amy was excited to return to SNL for a surprise visit and will also appear on next week's show before officially departing to focus on her new NBC sitcom," says a flack. The Weekend Update desk will not be the same without her adorable face. [CC Insider]

• Madonna is divorced. A judge ruled on "Ciccone, M.L. v. Ritchie, G.S." today and the case was a "quickie," an uncontested divorce. Neither Madonna nor Guy Ritchie attended the hearing, which lasted barely a minute. Her Madgesty is single again! Think she'll get hitched to A-Rod? [Yahoo News]
• Oh snap! Madonna just had drinks with her first ex-husband, Sean Penn. [Page Six]
• A source says don't believe what you read about Guy being a gentleman and not taking a penny from Madge. He's getting a "huge pay day." [Perez Hilton]
• Friends of Madonna's are not surprised that the divorce went through so quickly. "It’s not fair to Guy, to the kids, to drag it out for any reason," says a source. [MSNBC]
• Ashlee Simpson gave birth to a baby boy last night, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Yeah, Bronx. And yeah: Mowgli. Urban Decay Jungle Book Wentz. [People]

• Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson have been "fighting like cats and dogs," says a source, and may be in couples therapy. Work it out, ladies! [Page Six]
• Whoa, a kid almost died on the set of 30 Rock when an out-of-control taxi smashed into the street where the show was filming and everyone had to dive out of the way. [Page Six]
• Shia LaBeouf's wrecked truck was on eBay, but barely anyone bid on it. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson has converted to Islam. His name is now Mikaeel. It might be so that he can legally wear a burka in court and no one can stare at his skin. [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson Mikaeel is due in court next week to defend claims that he owes Sheikh Abdullah $7 million. May Allah be with him! [Guardian]
• Ooh, more soundbites from Britney's new documentary: "Do I know my life is weird? It's all I've ever known. I don't see it as being weird… I'm kind of stuck in this place and I'm like, How do you deal? I just cope with it every day… It's better not to feel anything at all and have hope than to feel the other way… It's bad. I'm sad." [She breaks down into tears.] [EW]
• Britney on why she let "bad people" into her life: "Because I was lonely." [People]
• Twilight star Robert Pattinson was asked, "What is all this talk about you not washing your hair for months on end?" He answered: "People are scared of my hair. But it starts washing itself after about three weeks. I'm just saying that. But, yeah, if it doesn't look dirty, why wash it?" Darling, it looks dirty. Get some Pantene Pro-V up in there. [USA Today]
• America's Next Top Model winner McKey says: "I was freaking out at the second CoverGirl commercial. I almost had a nervous breakdown. They only show a little bit of it, but Christian was fixing my makeup and I was like, 'Christian, I'm freaking out right now. I might have a nervous breakdown. I haven't had a nervous breakdown in forever. I'm going crazy. Why am I here?'" Because you look like a model, maybe? [E!]
• Leonardo DiCaprio attended a "preview screening" of a music video starring ex-girlfriend Gisele Bundchen because he's friends with the director, who is Kevin Connolly. Hollywood's a small town. [People]
• Uh, are Leo and Kate Bosworth an item???? [Star]
• Leo told this paper: "So much of my life has been spent on some far-off movie location and so little of it has been lived normally. I want to get married and have children." [Mirror]
• Hollywood is a small town, take 2: Samuel L. Jackson, Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy, Reba McEntire, Sylvester Stallone, Magic Johnson and Barry Bonds are involved in the lawsuit between North and South Beverly Park homeowners. It's like the Sharks and the Jets! [LA Times]
• Here's more on that turf war between the North and the South. [TMZ]
• Apparently Brit TV host Jonathan Ross told Gwyneth Paltrow he "would fuck her" and the BBC has called that "gratuitous and unnecessarily offensive." Think so? [Guardian]
• A critic says Baz Luhrmann made a "big, big mistake" in casting Nicole Kidman as proper English dame Lady Sarah Ashley in Australia: Melanie Reid says Kidman is "one of the most overrated actors" in the world and who has "been the kiss of death in practically every movie she has starred in." There's more! "Kidman is exquisitely accomplished at being awful," Reid writes. "She can't act. Instead she drifts around films like a lost porcelain doll, looking frozen, brittle and vapid, staring at the camera with her oh-golly-look-how-I'm-looking-interesting blue eyes." Ouch! [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Ugh, someone asked Nicole Kidman if she was pregnant again. "No, I just have a little tummy," she said. "My god, I just had a baby four months ago – give me a break!" She added: "I think I've always had a little tummy, though, it runs in the family. My sister does, my mum does, my grandmother did… We affectionately refer to it as the 'little tummy.'" Fascinating. [People]
• Glenn Close didn't get the part of Elvira in Scarface because she wasn't slutty enough? [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus let her boyfriend attend the casting for her new video, and a source says "Justin wanted to pick a guy that looked the most like him." WTF. [E!]
• Apparently the clip of Justin Timberlake dancing with Beyoncé on SNL has been yanked from YouTube due to music clearance issues. Dammit. Not fierce, Sasha. Not fierce. [LA Times]
• Angelina Jolie might not get nominated for an Oscar for her performance in Changeling, even though Ted Casablanca thinks she should. [E!]
• Rihanna's new tattoo: "It's tribal," she says. She got it in New Zealand, and it's Maori-inspired. "It's their traditional way of tattooing. I always wanted [one]. It hurt like hell!" [People]
• ABC has killed three shows: RIP Pushing Daisies, Eli Stone and Dirty Sexy Money. [EW]
• Your friend Kanye West began his concert in Germany by having the crowd wait tow hours and then running on stage and shouting, "I really need some pussy tonight!" [The Sun]
• Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard says all he's ever wanted to do is be all around the most beautiful women in the world. "I'm sorry I'm shallow like that, I'm a man." [Perez Hilton]
• Lance Bass is glad Julianne Hough has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars: "She was the one I was scared of the most," he says. [People]
• Is Julianne Hough retiring from DWTS? "I'm not gonna be back next season," she says. "I really, really want to focus on the music and, ya know, be taken seriously a little bit. And I think it’s hard to be on [the show] and be singing." [People]
• Reese Witherspoon looks like a small town checkout girl on the cover of Parade. [Just Jared]
• Reese told Parade: "Family is all we have in life, but I don't know how I feel about marriage. Obviously, I'm not far enough out of being married to think about doing it again." For some reason this prompted this paper to run the headline "I'm Not Ready To Marry Jake." [Daily Mail]
• Heath Ledger's family issued a statement to say that a new book about the star contains "gross inaccuracies, false allegations and many incorrect and unsubstantiated comments." The unauthorized bio, written by a journalist, claims Ledger was mentally ill. [News.com.au]
• The world is weird: Shaquille O'Neal is on Twitter. [Observer]
• Holly Madison says she's wearing less makeup now and P. Hilton says she's lying through her fake teeth. [Perez Hilton]
• Paris Hilton went out without Benji Madden and "looked distraught and completely lonesome." Sniff. [People]
• As for Benji, he is not talking about the split. [E!]
• Have you seen Rosie O'Donnell's video response to Barbara Walters? [Perez Hilton]
• Fox's Roger Friedman says Rosie will get the last laugh, because her live variety show "should be an enormous hit." It's family-friendly and positive in its celebration of Broadway, New York, and the arts. Plus comedy is what Rosie excels at. [Fox 411]
• Michael Phelps: The new spokesperson for Subway sandwiches. Do you want him on whole wheat? [Perez Hilton]
• Is Michael Phelps off the market? He flew to Birmingham to see former Miss Alabama, Doree Walker, and they went to dinner and then to the zoo the next day. Roar. [MSNBC]
• New Lost trailer! And Sawyer and Juliet are holding hands. For like a split second. [E!]
• Josh Brolin, who plays Harvey Milk's assassin in Milk, says the story of Milk made him cry. [UPI]
• If you can understand this kerfluffle surrounding Bianca Jagger's lost ring and bankruptcy and an Austrian building magnate named Reinhard Ringler, please explain. [Daily Express]
• John Malkovich is making a documentary about the plight of migrant children who cross illegally into the U.S. It will be produced by Canana Films, a production company owned by Mexican actors Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal. [AP]
• Christina Ricci, Rosie Perez and Arsenio Hall will voice characters in The Hero of Color City, an animated film about a group of crayons that band together to stop a tyrant from robbing their world of color. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Katie "Jordan" Price in her underwear again, yawn. [Perez Hilton]
• Did New Kids On The Block's Donnie Wahlberg out suspected gay Jonathan Knight? [Perez Hilton]
• It's official: Jean Claude Van Damme hits on young female reporters. [23/6]
• John Cleese, 69, is dating a 27-year-old named Barbie. [The Sun]
• The headmistress of Oprah Winfrey's girls' school in South Africa, Nomvuyo Mzamane, has dropped her suit against The Huffington Post and a blogger she claimed falsely harmed her reputation. [Portƒolio]
• When it comes to cash, Bruce Willis is a die hard, heh: He invested $2 million in a Malaysian technology company and then withdrew his cash; they still owe him $900,000 and he's filed a court complaint. [AP]
• Former Senator Fred Thompson, who was on Law & Order and then tried running for president, is going back to acting. Anyone want to cast him? [AP]
• Success has made Leona Lewis "really, really lonely." Sad face! [Mirror]
• Linda Hogan was getting $40,000 a month in temporary alimony payments. Now she claims to be broke. She wants a court hearing to talk about getting more cash out of the Hulkster. [Perez Hilton]
• TRL's Damien Fahey has a new job, now that his MTV show is dead: He'll be a special correspondent for Extra. [Page Six]
• "That's debatable in Hollywood. There's the obvious answer: Angelina, for saving the planet with her adoptions and charity work." — Megan Fox, when asked who the Woman of the Year was. [E!]
• "[Four Christmases] is not for your children. It's PG-13. But my family always went to movies on Christmas Day – The Godfather, The Elephant Man. Your typical cheerful holiday fare. It's fun to go to the movies at Christmas and nice to be part of a movie that at least grown-ups and teenagers can see. Plus it means a lot when I get to have experiences where I meet young people and they say, 'You know, this is the movie that got me through a hard time' or, 'This is the movie I watch with my family.'" [Independent]
• "There are disco bands, rap bands, Yiddish folk song bands in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but not Kiss I believe we have more gold records in America than any other group, but it's OK." — Gene Simmons, bruised because his band's not in the Hall of Fame. [Reuters]
• "That would be really exciting if that does happen. I hope it does. There has been some talk about it but I think it's in its very early days. But I'm practicing by dressing as a pirate every day - just in case!" — Russell Brand, on playing Captain Jack Sparrow's brother in the new Pirates Of The Caribbean flick. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I did a photo shoot for her, and she suddenly took off her T-shirt to change into another and I was like, 'Damn!' She was so beautiful, elegant, classy and timeless, and there was something really exotic about it. Very few human beings have been that sexy and desirable. I wanted to say, 'You are sculpted by God.' I was like, wow." — Rosario Dawson on Iman. [Daily Express]
• "Our new president is really a person who came from a place where they told him he couldn’t be something, in a country where no one ever thought that we would see a black president, but now that we have a black president we understand that black people, white people, Asian people, Native Americans, Latinos, no matter what color you are, we all are one. Whatever you want to be you can be in this world. You just have to put your mind to it." — Common, to elementary school students in Georgia. [Concrete Loop]
• "I can drink most men under the table and be fine! And I get louder and giggly. Do I get more affectionate? Who doesn't?" — Sienna Miller. [Mirror]

• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long: Dunzo. Sigh. They seemed so ridiculously happy, didn't they? They've been together since August 2007, though they knew each other for seven years before getting serious. Drew's been through so much… Sniff. [Us Magazine]
• Kate Moss and Jamie Hince: Also splitsville! Sob. Now Cher is stuck in my head. [People]
• Matthew McConaughey is a dad! Camilla Alves gave birth to a baby boy yesterday. Matt and Camilla are both "stoked." [Us Magazine]
• Lily Allen is back with Ed Simons from the Chemical Brothers. This is according to diligent reporting by checking their Facebook profiles. [The Sun]
• Oh! And Samantha Ronson bought Lindsay Lohan a $21,000 Cartier ring. It's not an engagement ring, it's a token of her commitment. But yeah. Ah, love. [Mirror]
• James Haven and Maddox Jolie-Pitt visited Angelina Jolie in the hospital over the weekend. Still no twins! [People]
• Amy Winehouse is addicted. To tanning beds. [The Sun]

• Wait! Amy Winehouse as Doctor Who? Seriously? [The Sun]
• Ashley Dupré, the high-class hooker of whom Eliot Spitzer was a client, is developing a cable reality series. Hmmm. Possible names: Hookin Ain't Easy, Girl Gone Mild, You, Me & Dupré. Meh. Got anything? [E!]
• Did Nicole Kidman name her new daughter Sunday because Keith Urban has a song called Sunday? Or is it because Nic's Catholic and still bitter about her Scientology experience? [MSNBC]
• Steve-O says that after 115 days of sobriety, he's "back in the looney bin." Uh-oh. [USA Today]
• Pete Doherty missed a £60,000 gig this weekend because his cat went into labor. Kittens! [The Sun]
• Serena Williams's maybe-boyfriend Common was in London where — what a coincidence! — Serena was kicking ass at Wimbeldon. She had a house, he had a hotel room, the whole thing is super hush-hush. [E!]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal checked in with Katie Holmes before she agreed to play the part of Rachel in the new Batman flick. "I wanted to be sure, first of all, that I had her blessing," Maggie says. "And I was assured that I did. I'm a big fan of hers, I think she was really great in the first movie. And yet I felt like it wouldn't have done anyone any good if I tried to imitate her. Really what I decided was that it had to be a whole new woman. If I'm going to do what I do well, I have to be free to do it." [Contact Music]
• Shaquille O'Neal is supposedly getting divorced, and yet he was all hugged up with the wife in the Cayman Islands over the weekend. [TMZ]
• Selma Blair was one of the only Hellboy II stars who didn't have to wear prosthetics or heavy makeup, so naturally, she teased her castmates relentlessly. "On the hottest days, when the other actors [couldn't] breathe in their makeup, I breeze in and say how sweaty I feel in my cotton tank top," she says. I plan to see this movie, and I'm not ashamed to say so. Anyone else? [Page Six]
• Are you interested in Kid Rock's "skanky panky"? Click here, no one will judge you. But it's not that interesting. [Rush & Molloy]
• Psyched about Mamma Mia!? Don't get your hopes up for an ABBA reunion tour. [Yahoo News]
• The Osbournes are coming back to TV! The family will host a prime-time variety hour kinda like Sonny and Cher had. Good idea? [Reuters]
• News you did not need to know: Flavor Flav lost his virginity at the age of six. [Perez Hilton]
• Keanu Reeves' court transcript regarding a paparazzo's negligence lawsuit will be sealed because it's none of your business. [E!]
• Kanye West may be taking anger management courses. [StereoHyped]
• "I thought innocent until proven guilty also applied in U.S. law. It seems sad when, as everybody who has had a drug problem knows, it takes supreme effort to get where I am today. I was really looking forward to doing my first live tour for a decade, and to be told that after all this hard work, I am not welcome in the U.S. for even six short weeks is heartbreaking. I am hardly a threat to national security. I am just a performer trying to do his job." — Boy George. [Newsweek]
• "My life is part humor, part roses, part thorns. I'll come off the stage at Texas Stadium (and) I'm a rock god. And then, an hour and a half later, I'm throwing a football and waiting for a cheeseburger from a truck stop at Carl's Corner, alongside a freeway. That is the balance in life." — Bret Michaels. [USA Today]
• "I don’t expect to ever get married again or have children. I am never at home and every woman gets sick of it… If I was them, I would never put up with me for long — and they don’t." — George Clooney. [MSNBC]
• Bette Midler answered Vanity Fair's Proust Questionnaire. Her life motto: "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke." [Variety]

The Good:

Maybe the tie is too short, but I like Common's look anyway.

John Mayer is mad for plaid and looking good.

Jon Krasinski: Always adorable!

The Bad:

Carmen Electra's dress: Gross color, ill-fitting.

Dane Cook: Can't help looking douchey.

Dave Salmoni: Can't help looking really douchey.

Tom Anderson: Can't help looking kinda douchey.

The Ugly:

Sara Bareilles really needs to retire the dress-and-boots combo.