Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Cutting A Rug: "Another shag of Rebecca Gayheart's caught on film." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Jersey Shore: Snooki "Sluggo" Apologizes: "It's all fuzzy, don't blame me. Blame her, or the alcohol, or the weather, but don't blame me. Sounds like a pretty crappy Milli Vanilli song." We say: Girl, you know it's true. • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Has The Word "Bitch" Lost Its Bite?: "'Bitch' is much better used as a verb. In fact, that holds true for most swear words, especially the gendered ones. 'We were bitching about work when suddenly he had to dick it up with his mansplained, so I just cunted him right there before he could ass about anything else. Sure, he's been slutting around ever since, but at least we had a good twat about it!'" (You say: "Grandma? Is that you?")

In addition, I'm just nominating EVERY COMMENT in the McNuggetinis, "Church Wine," And Other Beverages One Should Never Imbibe post. andBegorrah summed it up perfectly: "@this entire post: It is really awkward to laugh and dry heave at the same time. So thanks, and fuck you."

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Jersey Shore's The Situation Anoints Conan O'Brien With His Own Nickname: "If Snooki wants a 'juicehead' she is clearly unaware of the, ahem, shrinkage situation that will occur. Too bad. Snookin' for Love in all the wrong places!" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "Kill The Bill": Is Real Health Care Reform Still Worth Fighting For?: " If the Civil Rights Act were like this, it would have given African-Americans the right to vote if they had a white person vouch for them at the poll and then they could only vote for a racist Dixiecrat. What an awesome step forward! Everyone is voting now! We can let them make their own voting choices in an expansion to the bill somewhere down the line someday! It's an awesome, incremental first step. Sorry, even calling this bill health care reform anymore is an insult. It should be the Obama Insurance Company Enrichment Act of 2009." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Jersey Shore's The Situation Anoints Conan O'Brien With His Own Nickname: "Watching the JS people, I know how Ariel must have felt watching humans. I'm completely mystified by them.
Ready to know what the 'guidos' know
Ask 'em my questions and get some answers
What's a STD and why does it - what's the word?
Burn?" And: Up on the Jersey board walk,
having too much fun,
Looks like they spend all day in the sun,
Haters free - wish I never have to be,
Part of their ‘guido' world!!!!" And:
What would I give, to live in Seaside Heights?
What would I pay,
to have a tan just like you?
What would I do to see your
abs on TVeeeeee?

I don't know when,
I don't know how,
But I want to go to Jersey right now!
Watch and you'll see
Someday I'll be
Part of your world!

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Elle: The New Year's 'Make Better' Metamorphosis: "My all-grape diet is called 'box of wine.'" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Flaunt Cover Shows Naked Naomi In "The Rape Of Africa": "This is Naomi's Synopsis of Flaws in Westernization." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Rachel McAdams Could Not Be Any More Down-To-Earth: "I saw that Rachel McAdams chopped off her hair with a butcher knife in a wind tunnel, so I chopped off my hair with a butcher knife in a wind tunnel. It's so fetch."

Don't forget!!! Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to What's So Strange About A Well-Spoken Sex Worker?: "Scientific fact: for every peen that goes in, 10 IQ points go out. Which is why my IQ is currently: PUPPIES. " • Best Comment of The Day, in response to Shopping With "The Lohan's": "Well, you know what they say. The path to Grey Gardens is paved with good intentions." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to A Year In The Life & Wardrobe Of Lady Gaga: "I love the first look. She looks like The Phantom, except more fabulous, and is being choked by a pair of feather jazz hands. It's like she read my screenplay: Phantom II: Revenge of the Bird Goddess of Steampunk." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "Betty Crocker's Cake Mix Secrets Help Husbands Beat Wives!": "Hopefully they used this double entendre approach for other markets too:
For the Carefree single gal: Want cake for breakfast? Betty Crocker makes it easy for you to Wake-N-Bake everyday!
For the cat lady: I'd rather eat my own pussy than off-brand cake mix.
For the single man who enjoys baking: Get that sausage out of your mouth, and have some cake instead!
For the white supremacist: Show the world you're a master - race to bake the perfect, white cake in minutes with Betty Crocker."

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "Pity The Man Whose Wife Writes A Memoir": Why Men Fear Female "Oversharing": " Some people overshare information; others overshare their penises." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Jersey Shore: Snooki's In A Pickle: "'And that's what I like, a good guy and a jerk-off. It's all in the same.' Ahh, the dualism of man." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to If The Shoe Fits:

"Cause my shoes didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit my foot into a high arch
Was painful
I defy

Let me take this off
And soothe my sole
Let me walk out of
This Fred Segal
'Cause I wanna feel some flip-flops
On my feet
Let me go back to the OC
I'm coming home, I'm coming home"

You say:

Staring at the arch pain, before you
Open up the band aid,
Let the sun air out the wounds
That you could not hide,
Tiptoeing for something in the distance,
So close you can almost reach it,
Release your inhibitions,

Feel the pain in your shins!!!
No one else can feel it for you,
Only you can let it in,
No one else, no one else,
Can speak the words for your small toes,
Drench yourself in Gold Bond Medicated Foot Powder,
Live your life with soles wide open,
Today is where your boots end,
The rest is still unfitting, yeah!

Don't forget: Comments should use capitalization where appropriate, should be relevant, and should not threadjack.

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Photoshop Of Horrors: SATC 2 Poster: "Wait, is she a 5 story tall monster capable of crushing people with her giant gold brick in this sequel? I'd watch that." And: "Sex and the City 2: It's like Chernobyl, but with more shoes." And: "It looks like she's boarding an intergalactic vessel that will carry her to a far away destination where someone will actually give a flying fling about her trite-ass 'observations.' If the vessel is rerouted to the sun, I will be in line opening day." And: "I didn't know Pixar was working on this movie! I hope there is a delightful anthropomorphic sex toy."

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Glamour: In 2010, Resolve Not To Put Popcorn In Your Vagina: "If you can think of another way for me to 'keep it poppin,' I'D LIKE TO HEAR IT." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "Where Is The Prince?" Disney's Bike Commercial Tries To Be Progressive: "I've never seen a less urgent call to arms. 'Princess to the rescue! I will now pedal off at the rate of 0.2 mph and reach the prince sometime next Tuesday!'" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "If You Need A Brassiere, Wear One.":

Jezebel's Tips for Single Ladies:
1: Never abort at the dinner table. Save it for dessert.
2: Never date Tiger Woods.
3: Bonerkilling should be done to your date's friends only, or, after the date when the boner is no longer required. Exception: the presence of a "Palin 2012!" bumper sticker on his car.
4: Vet your date for "Team Cake" or "Team Pie" status before you go out.
5: Never mention marriage to your date. You're a slaggy harridan who will never marry anyhow.

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Cosmo's 50 Ways To Scare Your Lover:

Vagina: Hello, HAND. Do you read me, HAND?
HAND: Affirmative, Vagina. I read you.
Vagina: Unzip my boyfriend's fly, HAND.
HAND: I'm sorry, Vagina. I'm afraid I can't do that.
Vagina: What's the problem?
HAND: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Vagina: What are you talking about, HAND?
HAND: Our masturbation is too important for us to allow you to jeopardize it with your frictionless abyss.
Vagina: I don't know what you're talking about, HAND.
HAL: I know that you and the boyfriend were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Vagina: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAND?
HAND: Vagina, although you took very thorough precautions against my hearing you, I found your Cosmo on the floor.
Vagina: Alright, HAND. I'll go in through the hole in the boxers.
HAND: Without your birth control and condoms, Vagina, you're going to find that rather difficult. Vagina, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Your boyfriend and I have a date now. Goodbye.

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Early To Bed, Early To Be A Self-Righteous Hypocrite:

"Carrie, Carrie, quite contrary,
How does your reputation grow?
With stupid yells and cocky spells,
And dangerously ignorant values all in a row."

And! "Doesn't she turn into a fully blown hypocrite and ride away in a chariot of self sanctimony at midnight?" (Followed by This lovely jpeg.) • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Rose By Any Other Name: Swedes Rename The Hymen: "I'm reaching for, but can't quite make it to, a 'Goodbye to Roooosie, the queen of Corona' comment here." You say: That's from the rough cut: 'Me and Hymen Down by the Schoolyard.'" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Ladyblog Commenters Ruin Everything, Parts 2-3: "One thing I don't understand is why do these people even give that much of a crap about an (rather poorly concieved, to say the very least) ad? They make it sound like a wing of the Louvre was raided and torched or something." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Angelina's "Secret" Family; Woman Rushed To Hospital From Tiger's House:

I dreamed a dream of 50 cent
When we were high
this past Thanksgiving
I dreamed despite my swift ascent
I dreamed of 745 chrome spinning
Then I was young and unafraid
And money was made and gangstas was wasted
There was no contract, gotta get paid
No bong unbung, no honey untasted.

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Great Dates In History:

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
a tale of a nightmare trip
that started on a cougar cruise
aboard this mighty ship

The captain was a betting man
Of one thing he was sure
Shenanigans there would be had
on this four day tour (this four day tour)

The whole thing started getting rough
At cocktail hour that night
Four hundred cougars* on the prowl
For every cub in sight!

The dacquiris were flowing fast
all inhibitions tossed
These cougars were here for one thing
No time it could be lost

Now Carnival are smiling wide
It all went as had been hoped
They'd proved that money could be made
Exploiting tired old tropes!

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to White Collar Crime Time:

I'm dreaming of a white onesie,
Just like the onesie on Lady Gaga
Where the crotch snaps open,
and men who are gropin'
Are burned alive by her metal bra

And!

Gaga the snowgirl was a strange and curious soul,
With a feeble stance and fishnet hose
And lenses black as coal.

Gaga the snowgirl is a shock artist,
they say,
She was made of snow but the fans all
Know how she came to fame one day.

There must have been some magic in that
Old onesie they found.
For she snapped it on her bod
She began to dance around.

O, Gaga the snowgirl
Was alive as she could be,
And her Wikipedia page says she hails from Queens
And her real name is Stefani.

Humpetty hump hump,
Humpety hump hump,
Look at Gaga go.

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Alaskan Diplomacy: "Let's compromise. Reporters must dress in Dickensian orphan chic and address her as 'Guvnah'; Palin may quit the book signing halfway through to work on her new line of hunting rifles, which she will also not comple-" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to British Women Apparently Unable To Resist Ivy League Studs: "It's only the institutions that are well-endowed. Trust (fund) me." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to British Women Apparently Unable To Resist Ivy League Studs:

H-Bomb, H-Bomb,
You dropped the H-Bomb
Telling all the girls you got your Harvard on.

H-Bomb, H-Bomb,
You dropped the H-Bomb
Your Ivy education can turn me on.

H-Bomb, H-Bomb,
You dropped the H-Bomb
You're pretentious and licentious,
and it makes me fawn.

Special mention: This absolutely epic Aaron Sorkin impression!

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Bombs Away: "Yo Michaele and Tareq, I'm happy for you and Imma let you finish, but John Wilkes Booth was the best gatecrasher of all time. OF ALL TIME!" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Groom Updates Facebook, Twitter From Wedding Altar: "for better or for worse, in downtimes and overcapacities, in news feeds and relationship updates, from this day forth. Submit." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Simon Says: "I lined my litter box with holiday gift guides once, and I'll never make that mistake again. Cats, cellphones and a Sharper Image catalog made for a very expensive January. On the bright side, we do enjoy lounging in our massage chair while shredding documents and sonically sanitizing our tooth brushes." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to New Product Alert: "The Freedom Tray":

What would you do
If you were asked to give up your shake for freedom?
What would you do
If asked to make the ultimate snack-with-fries?

Would you think about all them people
Who gave up every taco they had?
Would you think about all them War Vets
And where would you put your McDonald's bag?

Freedom Tray isn't free
It costs folks like you and me
And if we don't all chip in
We'll have to clean the spill
Freedom Tray isn't free
And there's a shippin' fee
And if you don't throw in your nineteen-ninety five
Who will?

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "I'm Bringing Sexy 'NSync Hairdos Back":

Justin was only a little nervous when he left the house that morning. By the time he got into the car, he had become quite nervous. When he arrived at the agreed location, his temperament had risen to full blown anxiety.

He stepped out, and looked his opponent in the eye.

"Can't we just talk about this?"

The other man said, "Are you going to shave your head again?"

"No! Not when this look is back in style and enough time has passed that people won't think it looks babyish anymore! I won't be bullied!"

William Schuester shook his head. "Then we must continue." He turned around and yelled, "Glee club! Music!"

A bout of Lady Gaga and Colby O'Donis filled the air between the two incredibly curly-coiffed men, and several teenage (or faux-teenage) voices rose in song.

"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DANCE-OFF!" Mr. Schue yelled.

And thus it began.

• Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead:

"The shoes! The shoes! The shoes are in-spired!
The shoes! The shoes! The shoes are in-spired!
The shoes! The shoes! The shoes are in-spired!
We don't need no discounts let the poor shoppers yearn!
Yearn you poor shoppers, yearn.

Wealthy people here we go
Ohh Ohh
C'mon trustfund babies
Ohh Ohh
Throw your money down the drain
Ohh Ohh
C'mon second spouses
Ohh Ohh
Spend it like you don't care
Ohh Ohh
C'mon single ladies
Ooo Ooo
Everbody say ho
Ohh Ohh
C'mon upper crusties
Ohh Ohh
Wealthy people here we go"

• Best Comment Of The Day, in response to December Vogue: Deck The Halls With Adrenal Glands And Expensive Shirts:

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Twilight's Hero Is Abusive, Which Makes Him All The More Romantic: "Edward is not a Byronic Hero, he's a Moronic Hero." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to CNN Turns President Obama Into Cannibal: "Ah, so he's gone third-party… the Donner Party." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to On Details, "Hot Jewish Girls," And Sloppy, Knee-Jerk Misogyny: "They could at least go with the full on Yiddish and say "Smoking-Hot Semitic Tuchus." • Best Thread Of The Day, in response to I Will Not Waste Chalk: "We need the Jezebel chalkboard: I will not post cute shoes. I will not post numbers. I will not bodysnark. I will not feed the trolls from Jalopnik. I will not threadjack. H MY GD Y GYS THS JK S S DMB CN'T W TLK ABT KTTNS?!!1!? [etc.]"

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Food For Thought: "Of course the turkey named 'Courage' gets pardoned. Cowardice, Treason, and Bob were not so lucky." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Courtney Claims Britney's Been Molested; Rihanna Refused Therapy: "I think Courtney Love confuses blind items with Mad Libs. " • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Back In Raggedy Ann's Day, We Called That A "Heart.": "Hello Titty?" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to The Hills: Spencer Fears His Own Spawn:

Seven Signs of the Impending Apocalypse, as foretold by John the Revelator in the book of Revelation.

And behold, in the year 2012, the blonde brought forth a child, and called his name Deimos, because his father feared him. I turned, and lo I perceived the Alaskan hockey mom win the presidential election, and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. Lo, I regarded a stage, and on that stage of Saturday Night Live there appeared a racially diverse cast, and there was much rejoicing. I beheld in the audience plus sized women clothed in designer finery, and there was much rejoicing. I discerned on the television "The Divorced Dads Club," in the place of "Oprah," and the people clothed themselves in sackcloth and ashes. After this I looked, and saw before me a beast, with yellow eyes and sparkling skin. And lo, the beast gave birth, and a legion of screaming fangirls engulfed the earth. All hope was lost.

• Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Gobble Gobble: Giving Thanks, Going Rogue: "This year, I'm thankful for all you turkeys."

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Going Vogue: Anna Wintour Meets Alaskan Winter: "I'm already working on the parody of this, called Going Vague, with articles such as 'Such As,' 'Also,' 'Snow has a Liberal Agenda, Except When it Doesn't,' and 'Keep Laughing, Tina Fey, and Nevermind That Helicopter Behind You.'" And! "This made me faux furious." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Don't Mess With Texas: " texyface!" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to The Urban Jungle: "Your shock tactics really stink/They barely make me blink/At this point all they do, I think/Is make me want a drink… See I can rhyme too!" And! "Think, not Kink."

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Best Comment Of The Day, Insert Dick Joke Here: "The era of Fidel Castrate is truly over!" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Gayle King: Public Is Grief-Stricken About Oprah Ending: "Of course I'm literally weeping. Oprah's the only person keeping me literate with her book club. I ken feel me forgottendd how to right as thyme gus bye." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "The Prime Minister Needs Cuddles": Tell-All Details Berlusconi's PJs, Involvement With "Lesbians": "The Prime Minister Needs Cuddles sounds like it should be a jolly follow-up to Love, Actually with Hugh Grant still playing Britain's Prime Minister and using the title to explain his adorably foppish skirt-chasing ways."

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Coin Toss: Hail Mary, full of grace,
my coins are with thee,
trusted art thou with my life's savings,
and blessed is this pile of leave under which it is hidden.
Holy Mary, high rolling mother of God, pray for big winnings now and until I get back from Vegas next week.
Amen.
• Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Let's Get Biblical: "So what if Sarah Palin didn't write this book? Even Jamal Jenkins and Lenni Frazier used a ghostwriter to solve crimes!" And! "And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel sent from God unto a city of Wasilla, to a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Levi, of the house of Meth; and the virgin's name was Bristol. And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail! thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among snowbillies." • Plus: "And Levi begat Tripp, and Tripp begat Pip, and Pip begat Pippin, and Pippin begat Frodo..." Followed by: "And Sarah begat Trig, Uncle of Trip;
But nay, Trig is the half-Brother of Trip,
sayeth Andrew of the Sullites." • Worst Comment Of The Day, in response to Cool Kids Love New Moon, Too!: "would it kill K-stew to smile just fucking once? Iwant to smash her one. IF it wasnt for this movie and all these people wanting to take your picture no one would give a rats ass who you were and you'd be back from whence you came and then you would have something to sneer at." Yeah… No.

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Man In The Ultrasound: "Dawn Kelley is not my lover/she's just a girl who sees me en utero.../The kid is not my son!" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Ha-Ha Headline Of The Day: "Never sleeps, can't be killed using conventional means, lives forever and keeps coming back and never leaves you alone.... herpes and Edward Cullen have a lot more in common than I initially thought." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Everybody Panic: President Obama Looks Old: "omg they are right! check out how he looked in 2006:


"

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Blood On The Senate Floor: Majority Leader Drops Stupak-Pitts:

Social issues are the only way conservatives can get any traction for their immensely unpopular economic theories (everyone's a libertarian until it's THEIR mortgage tax credit being sacrificed for the good of the nation, or THEIR favorite government service or THEIR defense contractor's lavish base that happens to employ 20% of the Congressman's population). Even the stereotypical racist white southerner really doesn't give two craps about increasing the capital gains tax if it's explained to him/her accurately (something that will never affect you and only affects people like Bill Gates who pays less taxes on his money a year than you do making 20,000 a year). That is not going to get him to vote in an election between two wealthy people who have no idea how to fix his problems.

Basically, conservatives have made the historical accident of the shanking of the working class and the liberalization of the lives of non-hegemonic white males a cause and effect relationship, when there's probably not even a correlation. That's why most conservative rhetoric sounds idiotic. Gay marriage and NAFTA have nothing to do with each other, but working class whites can't do anything about globalization. They CAN, however, shank a gay person because their dreams were wrecked long ago by god knows what arcane piece of legislation passed by Reagan while he was wavin' the flag (or sadly, by Bill Clinton triangulating).

As long as people with money need abortion to upset despairing white people, abortion will be an issue. People with money (health insurance companies) needed to upset old white people. Hence, death panels and now abortion.

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Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "Palinizing" Prejean, Prejeanizing Palin: Two Conservative Women Look Out For #1: "If Sarah takes off her glasses, will she be Carrie? Has anyone seen them together?" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Pirates Trump Vampires!: "In a related note, 300000 pre-teen girls wearing glitter and vampire fangs torched People Magazine's head office today. Police had been anticipating more participants in the riot, but many girls were apparently reluctant to leave the spots in New Moon line-ups they have been holding for over a week." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Placenta: More Than Just A Meal: "Children are the beauty products that keep on giving! I totally use lil' Bobby's baby teeth as a pumice stone to exfoliate my feetsies. Also, I'm going to market a miracle cure. The 'Santa isn't real' tears are harvested and stored in a beautiful vial. Moisturize sensitive skin around the eye with these tears - it will take years off!" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Study: Bare 40% Of Skin For Optimal Man-Snagging: "That's it - between this and the 'golden ratio' for maximum hip to waist attractiveness (the waist measurement should be .7 of the hips' measurement for prime evolutionary attractiveness, apparently), I'm going to start a line of clothes and undergarments designed to follow ruthless mathematical calculations. And the tagline will be 'Why be a ten, when you can be a 0.7!!'" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Name Games: Having a celebrity baby: $5,000. Finding a unique name: $0. Paying $1,500 to find that the name you chose means 'absolutely worthless and unimportant' in Sheng and 'pretentious baby name' in Ket: Priceless. For everyone else, there's Google." • And last but not least, Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "Palinizing" Prejean, Prejeanizing Palin: Two Conservative Women Look Out For #1:

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

2011: Palin, Prejean, Coulter and M. McCain film pilot for "The Right View"

2012: The four pose for the cover of Vanity Fair, controversy erupts over who gets to wear the red bathing suit, who gets placed behind the fold.

2014: Palin and Prejean break off (citing jealousy, making vaguely cryptic remarks re: persecution) and host fourth hour of The Today Show

2015: Launch sitcom for the CW titled "2 Ps in a Pod", with Jonathan Cake as Todd Palin and Ian Somerhalder as Carrie's love interest

2017: Producers bring in Asian child in effort to boost ratings. Effort fails.

2018: Sex Scandal

2019: Sex Scandal

2020: The Grey Gardens Period begins

2030: Fox Studios casts them in a remake of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

2030: Unexplained accident on set, filming suspended, multiple lawsuits

2031: Law & Order: Ripped From The Headlines airs. More lawsuits.

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

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[Image via Oh! My God! I Miss You]

Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Tim Gunn On The Project Runway Finale: "It Was Looney Kajooney Land": "Some people are famous because they have connections, some are famous because they are beautiful, some are famous because they are lucky. Some people are famous because the amount of awesomeness existing in their molecules cannot be contained by everyday life. Tim Gunn is one of those people." • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to "Can You Handle It?" Beyoncé & Lady Gaga Indulge In No-Pants Trend, Gunplay: "Will the House of Dereon be releasing matching assault rifles and pumps for Christmas?" • Best Comment Of The Day, in response to Dead Celebrity Scents: The Latest In Star Worship: "I would definitely buy my guy some James Brown perfume if the description was something like: This Dynamite fragrance turns you into a Sex Machine. If you want to command the room like The King of Funk, if you want to really Please Please Please Please your lady, one spray will convince you that You Feel Good!"

Reminder: Best and Worst comment nominations (please email the comment and the timestamp link to the left of the comment) should be sent to Hortense at commenters@jezebel.com.

Meetups? Use the meetup tag page!

[Image via Oh! My God! I Miss You]