• During a recent interview, BBC reporter Andrew Marr asked Nicole Kidman about "one of the things you haven't talked about before... Scientology - a lot of people would say it is a bullying cult." Nicole stammered, then said:

• "This is just so not... I'm here to publicize Nine. If I was here to do an exposé on myself then I'd be like, ‘Let's go', but I have no interest in discussing any of that." Marr pressed: "You don't want to talk about Scientology?" and Nicole said, "No, I'll talk about Nine." Video here: [Times of London]
• Have Kate Hudson and A-Rod split? Sources say he was partying with other women in Miami this weekend while Kate Hudson was promoting Nine in New York. One eyewitness who saw him with two women said, "He was acting VERY single, and Kate Hudson was definitely not there." Another source added, "They are totally over." [Hollywood Life]
• Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to her son Mason Dash Disick this morning. As you'll recall, "Dash" is also the name of the Kardashian's boutique. [E!]
• Courtney Love lost custody of her 17-year-old daughter Frances Bean Cobain on Friday after a long period of unstable behavior. Kurt Cobain's mother and sister were named Frances Bean's legal guardians. [TMZ]
• Police documents show that Florida's Department of Children and Families is investigating whether there was a "domestic in front of children" involving a weapon at Tiger Woods' house on Thanksgiving, but a spokeswoman for the agency said, "I'm just not able, by law, to give confirmation about whether we visited the children." [Radar Online]
• In her first post-scandal public appearance, Elin Nordegren pumped gas on her way to a Christmas party... and she wasn't wearing her wedding ring. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' private jet flew from Boston to Sweden on Sunday, but only the pilot and two flight attendants were on board. Sources say Elin Nordegren is moving to Sweden, but it's unclear why the jet went without her. [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods' high school girlfriend Dina Gravell-Parr revealed that he broke up with her by letter. She said of Elin Nordegren, "That could of been me... Thank God it's not!" [Radar Online]
• Tiger Woods skipped his best friend Bryon Bell's recent wedding, but he was still listed in the program as the best man. [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' mistress Jamie Jungers says, "With all the things that have happened, it's probably in my best interest to move up here [to New York]," whatever that means. [N.Y. Magainze]
• Tiger Woods' 14th reported mistress, Theresa Rogers, has hired attorney Gloria Allred, who is also representing Rachel Uchitel. Rogers is in her 40s, making her the oldest of Tiger's reported dalliances. She also claims she slept with him both before and after he married Elin Nordegren. [Radar Online]
• Looks like Rachel Uchitel won't be suing Joy Behar for calling her a hooker. Gloria Allred released this statement: "We accept ABC's apology and this resolves the matter with ABC. Our action and this apology should also send a message to the public that Rachel values her reputation and that she will consider all of her legal options against anyone or any entity which defames her." [TMZ]
• Sources say Rachel Uchitel has been getting death threats from people who got her cell phone number from a 2001 photo posted on the internet. [TMZ]
• Over the weekend Chris Brown posted a profanity-laced rant on Twitter because he couldn't find his album Graffiti at the Walmart in Wallingford, Connecticut. A Walmart spokesman responded: "We are surprised at the comments online. All Walmart stores nationwide have carried the CD since its release, including the Wallingford store mentioned in the post. This store actually sold through its initial shipment over the weekend. The majority of our stores today are showing they do have copies available." [People]
• You won't miss a minute of Joel Madden's mouth surgery thanks to Twitter. He's been updating everyone on his recovery all weekend. [Radar Online]
• Hailey Glassman has reunited with her mother after an estrangement sparked by her relationship with Jon Gosselin. Hailey wrote on Twitter: "I got the best present for Hanukkah, which was my family n I reunited after all the outside manipulations and lies by 'others' ... This is the 1st yr. I don't care about a gift. My family is my gift n I am so grateful. I'm with my Mom right now,we are doing face masks! :-)." [Radar Online]
• Although some sources are claiming Orlando Bloom proposed to Miranda Kerr, Bloom's rep says, "There is no truth to any rumors of engagement." [People]
• Jude Law was sitting next to Robert Downey Jr. at a Sherlock Holmes press junket when reporters asked about his relationship with Sienna Miller. Jude replied: "The only person I'm in love with at the moment is sitting on my left." [The Mirror]
• David Beckham's London football academy is closing, but the school will live on. A spokesman said: "The David Beckham Academy itself is not ending, this site is coming to the end of its lease but we are planning a more flexible model which will reach communities and schools across the country and internationally." [The Independent]
• Fans have been sending messages of support to the Duggars because their 19th child Josie Brooklyn was born three months early on December 10 and is in the NICU for extended care. [People]
• Hugh Grant said he was drunk when he told an assistant to bid £2 million on an Andy Warhol painting of Elizabeth Taylor, but it worked out for the best: he sold it later for £13 million. [The Guardian]
• Grizzwald "Grizz" Chapman, who plays part of Tracy Jordan's entourage on 30 Rock, is on dialysis three times a week for severe hypertension. He's on a five-year waiting list for a kidney transplant, but he has to lose 75 pounds before he can hae the operation. [E!]
• Taylor Swift had a Christmas-themed 20th birthday party and donated $250,000 to schools around the country as a gift to herself. "Something I wanted to do at the end of this amazing year and especially on my birthday was give back to something I really believe in, which is education," said Swift. "The schools that I went to and the amazing people I got to learn from really turned me into who I am, and I wanted to give back." [People]
• Snoop Dogg shot another guest appearance on One Life To Live. "As I said when I was here last time, I've been a fan of One Life to Live since I was a baby because my momma always had it on," said Snoop Dogg. "It's cool to come back and hang with Bo Buchanan and the people in Llanview and ‘rock out with them." [WSJ]
• Cate Blanchett was an hour and a half late to a performance of A Streetcar Named Desire in Brooklyn because it was rainy and icy and she was traveling from out of town. After the curtain calls she said, "Thank you all for hanging around. The weather conspired against us. There's black ice out there. Be careful getting home." [NYT]
• Coldplay is selling instruments they've used and other memorabilia on eBay in an "End of Decade Clearout Sale" to benefit the charity Kids Company. [UPI]
• Jersey Shore's Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. "Snooki", says: "We are better than The Hills... It is all real." (Insert your own tanning joke here.) [Us]
• UNICO, the largest Italian-American group in the country, is pushing Pap John's Pizza, Nivea, LG Electronics and Burger King to pull their advertisements from Jersey Shore because it's a "discriminatory, insulting and Italian-bashing program." [TMZ]
• Maxwell is back after an eight-year hiatus. "Sometimes I just get sick of myself," he said. "That's kind of what happened in 2001. I didn't want to see another photo; I didn't want to hear me. I just sort of needed a coffee bean in the perfume shop of who I was, you know what I mean?" [CNN]
• In Esquire's "What I've Learned" column Sting says: "You don't have to be the greatest singer in the world. What you need to be is unique. Whenever you open your mouth, people should know: 'Oh, that's Van Morrison.' Or 'That's Bob Dylan.' Or 'That's Bono.' You want to get to that point where you have a unique vocal fingerprint. Then it's about refining that sound and making it more and more you." [Esquire]
• Zoe Saldana, who stars in James Cameron's Avatar, says, "He's been impacted by interesting women all his life, because you can tell he's in tune with his feminine side. I've learned this about men who write good roles for women - there's a very beautiful sentimentality to them. Their exteriors are sugarcoated with this manly presence, but deep on the inside, there's also this [fragility]." [WSJ]
• Former model Sienna Miller says of V magazine doing a plus-size issue, "I suppose that's something you'd have to say - I couldn't sit here and say, 'No, I'm not [into it] ... but I sincerely believe that that's more beautiful than someone who is poker-thin. I really do. I would love to have boobs to go with my hips, but I don't - that's just not the way the cookie crumbled." [New York Magazine]

• After a clip of Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi getting punched in the face went viral last week, MTV has decided to pull the scene from an upcoming episode of Jersey Shore, stating that what happened to Snooki was "disturbing." [E!]

• According to E!, MTV has released the following statement: "What happened to Snooki was a crime and obviously extremely disturbing. After hearing from our viewers, further consulting with experts on the issue of violence, and seeing how the video footage has been taken out of context not to show the severity of this act or resulting consequences, MTV has decided not to air Snooki being physically punched in the face." [E!]
• Things are apparently getting serious between Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper: they've been spotted looking at houses together, and, according to a source, "he has already introduced her to his parents." [PageSix]
• Escort-service owner Michelle Braun says she has proof that one of Tiger Woods' mistresses, Jamie Jungers, used to work for her: a a 1099 tax form with Jungers' name on it. Braun does admit, however, that she can understand why Jungers might not recall working for her: "I did operate professionally under the name Nici, so maybe she doesn't know the name Michelle Braun. For eight years, I never met any of my girls or clients, and I never met her. In her defense, she might not be lying about not recognizing my name." [E!]
• Braun also claims that she set Tiger up with 10-15 women at a time. [TheSun]
• Meanwhile, Holly Sampson, a porn star also thought to be one of Woods' mistresses, was spotted outside of Vivid Entertainment with a script reading "Holly Sampson Golf Project." I'm sure the final product's name will be more creative, don't you think? Any guesses? [TMZ]
• Nike, however, says they are sticking by Tiger, despite his "indefinite" leave from golf, telling TMZ: "Tiger has been part of Nike for more than a decade. He is the best golfer in the world and one of the greatest athletes of his era. We look forward to his return to golf. He and his family have Nike's full support." [TMZ]
• Kate Hudson says growing up with her own famous mother makes her a bit sympathetic to her son, Ryder's reactions to her skimpier outfits at times: "I kinda understand what he was getting at. One time my mum came out wearing this little red dress. And I had that feeling like, 'Everyone's gonna be looking at you!'" [DailyExpress]
• "People work 20 years to get what we have. We really are so lucky. It's like you get a head start and it's all because of the fans. And it's not just about money or getting offers, it's that we can mold our careers."-Kellan Lutz, on the success of Twilight. [JustJared]
• NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak are reportedly in a stand-off with the producers of The Real Housewives of Atlanta because they're tired of paying the electric bills the show's production runs up in their homes. [TMZ]
• Penelope Cruz was disappointed when the rope marks from her big number in Nine (which involves sliding up and down ropes while wearing lingerie), disappeared. "I didn't want the marks I got from the ropes to go away, because they were like my little medals. I was so used to them that after three months of training, I didn't even feel physical pain anymore. I loved it." [E!]
• A prospective buyer for Lil' Wayne's house was asked by a broker before visiting the home: ,"'I have two questions: Are you offended by the smell of marijuana? And do you mind coming late in the afternoon? It's currently rented by Lil Wayne, and these are not morning people." [PageSix]
• Kevin Federline has lost quite a bit of weight, if anyone cares. [USWeekly]
• Victoria Beckham is using a method known as "The Alexander Technique" in order to improve her poor posture. "She absolutely hates the fact that in pictures she often has somewhat of a hunched-back stance and she hates having rounded shoulders, so she has been saying she feels so much better," says a source, "She practices the discipline after the gym every morning and at night. She is standing straighter and her body feels more aligned. It also helps you cope with stress." [DailyMail]
• Lily Allen says she believes she may have "a touch of dysmorphia. I was sitting in bed last night and I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I said: 'God, I'm a funny looking thing.'" [DailyMail]
• Hosting Saturday Night Live was the best week of my life. I started as a theater kid, so "SNL" has been up on a pedestal for me and I've always wondered what it would be like to actually experience it. You don't even notice you're so busy that you have to eat while walking to your next meeting. I was at 30 Rock at 7 a.m. until 1 or 2 at night a lot of times. I didn't want to leave. I was definitely stepping out of my comfort zone in terms of how people have seen me in the past. To see the reviews come in and them being positive and the ratings come in, and the fans were so wonderful and made a point to watch, it made me so thankful and so happy."- Taylor Swift [Reuters]
• If you're a Coldplay fan, you might want to check out their "Coldplay End of Decade Clearout Sale" on Ebay; the band is auctioning off signed costumes, instruments, and more to benefit "Kids Company, an incredible charity that helps vulnerable children and young people in London." [TheSun]
• Rowan "Mr. Bean" Atkinson's vintage Jaguar caught fire late last night; Atkinson escaped with "cuts and bruises" and the car was eventually towed away. [DailyExpress]
• Michael Jackson will be honored with a posthumous Lifetime Achievement Award at next month's Grammys. [Reuters]
• "One of my biggest dreams is to do a one-woman show, with dancing and singing. I just have to figure out the concept."-Catherine Zeta-Jones [DailyExpress]
• The Guardian is currently running a roundup of celebrities who "ruined the decade." On the list? Will.I.Am, Dan Brown, and Michael Cera. [Guardian]
• Russell Brand met girlfriend Katy Perry's parents and has been impressing them by dropping quotes from such people as Nelson Mandela: "You know, I've been bringing out quotes, I'm doing well, you know, because I'm committed to it and they're lovely, lovely people, its been nice. Obviously when I heard that my girlfriend had preacher parents, I thought well this has got a huge scope for disaster, but it's actually been quite good so far."[DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, Katy's father, Keith Hudson reportedly gave Brand a copy of his book The Cry which promises to "release a desperate longing in you for Gods intervention in your life." Brand then gave the Hudson's a copy of his own book, My Booky Wook, which Perry's mother, Mary Hudson read, telling the New York Daily News that "There are parts of Russell's book where he's really hungry for positive influences in his life. I think the two of them are hungry. They are basically seeking the truth from God - and they are going to find it." [NYDN]

[Image via MTV]

• Star reporter Kate Major resigned today after announcing that she's dating Jon Gosselin, as she wouldn't want this conflict of interest to tarnish the mag's stellar reputation. Too bad Michael Lohan won't stop talking about his new BFFs.

• According to Lohan, who spoke with Radar Online and ABC News today, Major, who is best friends with his fiance Erin Muller, called him and said she and Jon needed a place to stay to get away from the paparazzi. Lohan says they've both been sleeping over his house. He wouldn't say whether they're sharing a room, but when asked about whether their relationship is romantic, he said: "Let me ask you a question: If she was using him why did she resign from the Star? I don't get involved in Jon's personal life but I'm not his manager or publicist. I'm just someone who's trying to help him out, like I've been trying to do with my daughter [Lindsay] her entire life." [ABC News, Radar Online]
• When Hailey Glassman, who reportedly said earlier this week that she was ready to be a stepmom to Jon's eight kids, heard that he and Kate Major were an item she said, "That's news to me." Later a teary Glassman added, "I still love Jon and Jon loves me." [People]
• The court in the Michael Jackson probate case has allowed the special administrators to make several book publishing agreements to reprint MJ's autobiography Moonwalk. The documents said it's best "for all book publishing agreements to be entered as soon as possible, as sales of the book and profits for the estate will be maximized the sooner the book is released due to the notoriety surrounding Michael Jackson's unexpected death and the resulting heightened demand for such products." [TMZ]
• Even though evidence of Michael Jackson's prescription drug use was found during the investigation into child molestation charges in 2003, prosecutors didn't bring it up in the case. "It wasn't a drug investigation," says a lawyer who didn't work on the case. "It was a lost opportunity for everyone to step in and say this not a healthy environment in every way." [People]
• Nas and Kelis have a new baby boy. Kelis gave birth to Knight Jones last night with her mother and sister by her side. It's unclear if Nas was at the hospital or not. [People]
• M.I.A. has posted a picture of her 5-month-old son in his own version of the outfit she wore to the Grammys while she was pregnant. Too cute! [Buzzfeed]
• So You Think You Can Dance judge/producer Nigel Lythgoe is hinting that if American Idol doesn't want Paula Abdul he'll hire her. [The Sun]
• Apparently Summer and Marissa aren't BFFs in real life. When the paparazzi asked Rachel Bilson if she's talked to Mischa Barton since her hospitalization, she replied: "I haven't spoken to her." [E!]
• Nick Lachey just can't stay out of it. Since his breakup with Vanessa Minnillo he's been partying and picking up various women. A source says on a recent evening, "He picked up five girls and they all snuck out the back door with him." [E!]
• Beyonce's sister Solange Knowles has shaved her head. TMZ is horrified, but we think she looks pretty cute. [TMZ]
• Chace Crawford says he didn't cut off his signature bangs intentionally. "I was over in London and someone cut it too short and I had to go to an event and I threw it back and it turned out to be some big deal." He said when he returned to the Gossip Girl set two weeks ago he, "showed up on set the first day and said, ‘Listen…can we do my hair this way for the first episode? Because it's a little short…' . And it kinda stuck. It was good to switch things up, though." [People]
• Nicholas Cage will switch on the Christmas light in Bath, England, where he owns two homes, this year. [The Telegraph]
• Jane's Addiction have canceled all of their upcoming Australian tour dates because drummer Stephen Perkins has an elbow infection. He's been hospitalized and is expected to make a full recovery. [Rolling Stone]
• Here's a list of some things People thinks you're supposed to know about the host of MTV's It's On With Alexa Chung: she's a contributing editor at British Vogue, she designs jewelry, and she's dating Alex Turner of the Arctic Monkeys. [People]
• When asked about her musical influences Miley Cyrus said: "I love Coldplay and the Killers and John Lennon - all dudes, because I have a low voice. I do, I like that sound because it is a little more edgy." [Star-Telegram]
• "I want longevity. I still want to be working when I'm 70. So I'm eager to vary things. You get more interesting as you get older." — Anna Friel [The Telegraph]
• Eleanor Coppola, who shot the documentary Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse on the set of her husband Francis Ford Coppola's Apocalypse Now says, "I never intended to make the documentary of all documentaries. I was just trying to keep myself occupied with something to do because we were out there for so long. I just had never shot a documentary before. They wanted five minutes for a TV promotional or something and I thought sooner of later I could get five minutes of film and then it went on to 15 minutes. I just kept shooting but I had no idea ... the evolution of myself that I saw with my camera. So, it was a surprise for both of us and a life changing experience." [CNN]
• T.R. Knight says of leaving Grey's Anatomy, "From an outsider's perspective, I get the [impression that] 'He's just a spoiled actor…he doesn't know how good he has it.' There are a lot of people who would like to be in my position. But in the end, I need to be fulfilled in my work." [Entertainment Weekly]
• Tyler Perry says his greatest accomplishment has nothing to do with business. "My biggest success is getting over the things that have tried to destroy and take me out of this life. Those are my biggest successes. It has nothing to do with work." [CNN]
• Sarah Ball says of her Harry Potter character Lavender Brown, "I think that she's misunderstood, really. She's insecure, I think, and her main problem is that she's just obsessed with Ron. She loves him. She's almost borderline under a spell: she is just entranced by him, and that kind of causes her to become a bit wayward. She's not really aware of how she's coming across to everybody, as a bit mad. She realizes pretty quickly that he has feelings for somebody else-Hermione-and she kind of reacts to that by becoming incredibly clingy and possessive and loud and annoying. But I think she's just got a big heart and she just wants to be loved, you know?" [Newsweek]
• Jack White is launching a subscription service because he's unhappy with the way download in is affecting music experiences. "It's taken a lot of the romance out of the experiences of music. This is what we're trying to manipulate to the advantage of the fan/listener and the artist as well, to find ways to have beautiful experiences that have a longer lasting impact. Sometimes things you have complete easy access to, like a reality show, or an online purchase at the click of a mouse, can become forgetable and invisible. A trip to a record store to get the album you've been waiting months for on the other hand, can be cherished for a lifetime." [BBC]
• Willem Dafoe accidentally stabbed himself during a play years ago, but he still prefers doing his own stunts. He explains, "I try to do as many of my own stunts as possible. If you keep on taking yourself out of the role you play, you lose the thread of the character." [The Telegraph]
• Katie Price said she "heard things" but about husband Peter Andre cheating on her but, "As far as I know I think he was faithful." He says, "I can hold my head up high and say I've been 100 per cent faithful throughout my marriage and still am." So everyone agrees he was faithful, right? [The Mirror]
• Johnny Depp said recently that he'd love to star in a Carol Channing biopic — and she's given him her blessing. "I imagine when or if Johnny should portray me, he will succeed," she said, "Because a true artist, such as himself, is one who loves his or her creation and therefore represents their honest view of that which they are creating. I think he is a gifted performer and I would be very proud, as well as interested, in seeing what his vision of me would be... Men have been imitating me for as long as I can remember. In fact, most of the impersonations I have seen have had a five-o'clock shadow." [E!]

• Madonna has flown a nanny and a nurse to Malawi to look after Mercy while adoption papers and visas are being arranged. The deal's not done and the kid already has an entourage! [The Sun]

• Newsworthy: Megan Fox wore a red dress with a slit up to there and no bra and says, "I'm currently what you would call single I guess." [The Sun]
• Rihanna and Chris Brown were both at Game 4 of the NBA finals in Orlando on Thursday, and Chris went over where Rihanna and her posse were sitting and shook hands with all of her friends. But Rihanna was at the game to see Magic forward Rashard Lewis, "whom she's currently crushing on." [Gatecrasher]
• Usher is singing "You make me wanna… file for divorce" to wife Tameka Foster. [NY Daily News]
• "Fragile Susan Boyle dramatically dropped out of the Britain's Got Talent tour yesterday." [The Sun]
• Officials say Susan Boyle's cancellation was just a "one-off rest day." [NY Post]
• SHOCKER: Jon and Kate did not spend their 10th wedding anniversary together. [NY Daily News]
• As previously mentioned, Bruce Willis' daughter Tallulah is an intern at Bazaar, but the Post points out that since she's 15 and unpaid, it's in violation of federal labor laws. Bazaar clarifies: "Tallulah is a guest of Harper's Bazaar, shadowing our editors for a couple of weeks." [Page Six]
• Behold: Bruce Willis and new wife in some kind of "fetishistic shoot." She seems to be wearing those ankle-wrenching Nina Ricci shoes; he seems to be wearing very little. Won't someone think of the 15-year-old intern??? [NY Post]
• "BRAD PITT GOES ON ART BUYING BINGE." Well, he bought one painting. [Page Six]
• Brad Pitt's brother Doug has announced that the The Brad Pitt family is donating $1 million to establish an endowment fund to pay cancer specialists at St. John's hospital in Springfield , MO — the the center will be renamed St. John's Jane Pitt Pediatric Cancer Center in honor of their mother. [News-Leader]
• Lady GaGa dyes her dark hair blonde because she was once mistaken for Amy Winehouse: "Amy is a badass but I want to be known for my own look." Oh, you are, dear. You are. [The Sun]
• Dolly Parton in a Girl Scouts uniform! [Star Tribune]
• Prince Harry is pining for ex Chelsy Davy and told a friend, "I lost the best thing that ever happened to me." New love interest Caroline Flack doesn't have enough Ys in her name, so she's out of the picture. [The Sun]
• Re: Chaz Bono's sex change: The only regret? He wishes he had done it sooner. [TMZ]
• Three words: Octomom The Musical. [People]
• The new Miss California USA, Tami Farrell, says: "I'm trying my best to kind of calm the waters… I think that everything in life happens for a reason, and I'm just blessed to have this opportunity." These statements were made while she was attending the Playboy Jazz Festival at the Hollywood Bowl. Obviously. [CNN]
• Kelly Preston is in a PSA promoting healthy food for kids; you can watch it at the link. [People]
• Even though she's on tour with No Doubt, Gwen Stefani says: "My priorities are always going to be my husband and my family now. That's a huge, huge thing." [NY Daily News]
• SCANDAL: Justin "I'm A Mac" Long doesn't have an iPhone. [Page Six]
• Check out this silly interview with Shawn Wayans and his nephews, who are responsible for Dance Flick. Among Shawn's quips: "Obama is a superhero, man… Obama takes his kids to school and then he goes to work and saves the economy." [NY Times]
• Paul McCartney thinks you should go vegetarian at least once a week, to help the environment. Hence: Meat Free Monday. What's it gonna be tonight, folks? Mac and cheese? Falafel? Ice cream sundaes? [Telegraph]
• Sarah Silverman has a book of "autobiographical essays" coming out next April. [Page Six]
• Morgan Freeman is being sued for negligence regarding that horrible car crash last August; he denies the allegations. [E!]
• Though she stopped receiving treatment for anal cancer about a month ago, Farrah Fawcett's condition has not changed; she is still "stable." [Fox News]
• Does Sharon Osbourne owe $23,363.16 in California State taxes? [TMZ]
• Dennis Quaid has been cast as Bill Clinton in The Special Relationship, a film about the former president and Tony Blair — and Quaid's been "encouraged" to gain about 25 pounds. "It's Dennis's worst nightmare," says a source. "He is really health-conscious, but has been asked to follow the same diet as Clinton and gorge himself on Big Macs and Coca-Cola." The horror. [Telegraph]
• "Nine years, 18 seasons and 15 iterations of wilderness later, Survivor host Jeff Probst is a man of simple needs: A shower to call his own and a movie theater within driving distance." The ultimate Survivor? [LA Times]
• Tracey Ullman's show, State Of The Union, is available on Showtime in the US, but the BBC won't buy it. [Daily Express]
• Oh, dear: Those people suing Miley Cyrus for defaming Asians in her "slanty eye" picture got a judge who uses the word "orientals." Obviously they want him off the case. [TMZ]
• A lawsuit filed against Michael Jackson won't stop his comeback tour in London. [MSNBC]
• "The amusement-park rides, elephants and orangutans have been hauled away… Bats hang over the doorway to the building that housed Mr. Jackson's private arcade; guano stains the threshold." — from an update on the property known as Neverland, once the home of Michael Jackson. [WSJ]
• In a conversation with David Cross, he reveals that he has a publicist for the first time ever — at the urging of his girlfriend Amber Tamblyn; he has a book coming out in August,; and, he says: Alvin and the Chipmunks paid me more than all my other projects combined." He just finished the sequel. [LA Times]
• Katie "Jordan" Price on husband Peter Andre: "He's treating our split like a publicity stunt to relaunch his career." [Mirror]
• Hundreds of mourners gathered at a funeral for David Carradine in Hollywood on Saturday; music included The Beatles' "Let It Be" and Ludwig von Beethoven's "Requiem for a Fallen Hero." [AP]
• Oooh, Ghostbusters: Where Are They Now? [NY Daily News]
• John Amos, known for his roles in Roots, The West Wing and as the dad in Good Times, debuted his country single, "We Were Hippies," as part of the 2009 CMA Music Week in Nashville. [UPI]
• Did you know that David Bowie has a 38-year-old son, Duncan Jones? And did you know that he directed the new Sam Rockwell flick, Moon? [Patricia Glassop, the mother of late INXS singer Michael Hutchence says she hasn't seen her son's only daughter in years — Tiger Lily, 12, is being raised by Sir Bob Geldof, who is responsible for the ladies known as Peaches and Pixie. "Bob hasn't exactly been a role model in the parenting stakes when you look at the behavior of Peaches and Pixie. Glassop says: "Bob hasn't exactly been a role model in the parenting stakes when you look at the behavior of Peaches and Pixie." Ouch! [This Is London]
• "If you're going to be an actress you can't be coy. Breasts are sexy. I want to see them and audiences want to see them. I've had to do my fair share of it. If you're going to be an actress or a model it's usually part of the package. Men don't have to worry because their private parts don't make pleasant viewing, she thinks. "We don't want to see willies because they're ugly. We want to see breasts because they're beautiful." — Rachel Ward, whom you may have seen in The Thorn Birds. [Daily Express]
• "I stand by what I said. They did copy my song but I don't think they did it on purpose. I have even copied myself without even knowing I have done it. I'll write down what I think is a good melody and realise it's the same as something I have already done. I don't want them to think I am angry with them. I'd love to sit down and have a cup of tea with them and let them know it's okay." — Yusuf Islam, aka Cat Stevens, on Coldplay. [Daily Express]
• "If any of you have a project entitled Everlasting Love With an Adult Stable Male, I'm at table 6 and my agents are at table 12!" — Jennifer Aniston, joking about her single status at an awards dinner. [E!]
• "Christina is basically a woman with a God complex that's really going to have to, like, get real. She's going to have to learn to take care of herself as intensely as the patients." — Jada Pinkett Smith, on her character in Hawthorne, who is the only African-American woman to carry an hour-long drama (along with Jill Scott in The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency) since 1974. [NY Times]
• "It's dangerous to bring this up, I talked about him in an interview not long ago, saying that I still love him, and he was like, 'Please stop talking about it.'" — Sienna Miller on Jude Law. [Mirror via Vogue]
• "In some ways, I was waiting for that cyclical swing back. Everything has a time and a space. I feel like something's changing. Especially when Amy Winehouse came out, I'm talking to 17-year-olds that I know, and they're freaking out about her. That's when I thought, things are getting fresh." — singer Maxwell, on his return. [WWD]
• "Amanda's such a hot mess that it's a dream to play her, although now of course people assume I'm a bitch in real life, when I'm actually the least intimidating person around. I sometimes wish I could channel Amanda. I was in a store the other day and the cashier was mean to me. I felt like doing an Amanda and shouting, 'Listen, maybe you should learn to dress better!' but I just couldn't." — Becki Newton, who plays Amanda Tanen on Ugly Betty. [Daily Mail]
• "Family life revolves around Elizabeth. If we decided to go on holiday, the first questions are: can Elizabeth go? Will she be okay? Will she have fun? That's the way it's always been, and that's just fine by me." — Eva Longoria on her 42-year-old sister, who has Down Syndrome but is "highly functional" and graduated high school and is now a special education teacher. [Daily Mail]
• "I was Cornish Gamehen for a while, which was bizarre. But for the last couple years, I have been Meryl Inch — however, there is too much of a debacle going on there these days to continue that. So I have to come up with something creative." — Mandy Moore, on what name she uses when she checks into a hotel. [CNN]
• "Reality is an elusive seductress. I like watching her hips move." — Tori Amos. [Times Of London]

• A source claims that Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore want Susan Boyle to sing at their wedding anniversary party. Demi reportedly would also like Susan to "flash her knee" at Ashton. [Daily Express]

• But Demi says the Boyle rumors are false! Regardless, Boyle is "much happier" after her hospitalization for an "anxiety attack." [Daily Mail]
• David Carradine's manager says he was found with his hands tied behind his back, calling into question both accident and suicide as explanations for his death. [TMZ]
• But the Thai police say there's no evidence anyone was in the room with Carradine when he died. [TMZ]
• Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali has written her life story, Slumgirl Dreaming: My Journey to the Stars. The book will be released in July. [AP, via WWLTV]
• Phil Spector is being moved form LA to a prison near Bakersfield. TMZ tastefully reports that this prison has private showers. [TMZ]
• Tank Girl star Lori Petty has been charged with three misdemeanors for hitting a skateboarder with her car last weekend. Neither was severely injured. [TMZ]
• Chris Martin says he's not going to record a solo album, and that he gets song ideas from "some word [that] sends your mind going," such as "falafel." Bill O'Reilly was not available for comment. [Guardian]
• Marilyn Manson says he cried when tour manager "Steve" wouldn't get him drugs. But is he also an alcoholic? "Not according to the statistics that I read," says Manson. [Daily Express]
• Dominic Monaghan's character Charlie may be returning to Lost. [New York Magazine]
• More possible evidence that Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are back together: she was spotted with him at a Green Day concert, holding his hand and wearing a picnic blanket. [E! Online]
• 50 Cent has settled a lawsuit against an engineering firm for underestimating the cost of repairs to his house — the estimate was for $500,000, but the repairs ended up costing $6 million. Sucks, but it's hard to feel too sorry for Fiddy when the repairs on his house cost 25 times the median home price in the Northeast. [USA Today]
• Sick of Jon Gosselin and young women yet? If not, here's a sort of grainy picture of him standing near 23-year-old Hailey Glassman, his alleged paramour and daughter of his wife's plastic surgeon. [Perez Hilton]
• "I don't know what I'd do if I did win, but I would run out there and kiss Elton John and kick him off stage or something." — Dolly Parton, on her Tony Nomination for "9 to 5 The Musical" [CBS News]
• "And all the tears on her guitar, I'm not bitter. But now I see, Everything I'd ever need, Is the girl in front of me, She's much better." — from Joe Jonas's new song "Much Better," which supposedly disses ex Taylor Swift and her song "Teardrops On My Guitar" [Perez Hilton]
• "I'm convinced that she'll get sober one day. But I'm afraid that between now and then, she may get a nearly mortal wound of some type. [...] I have this image that she's going to lose a limb or something before she does." — Dr. Drew, on Lindsay Lohan.[Parade]
• "That was insulting, ridiculous, and disrespectful." — also Dr. Drew, on former Celebrity Rehab star Mary Carey's film, Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw. [Parade]
• "You have to make ugly faces to make pretty notes. The first thing I noticed at rehearsal is they looked really good, like models, and they were sucking their cheeks and looking like they belong in an agency for beauty." — Carlos Santana, on the American Idol contestants during his guest appearance. [Reuters]

• ZOMG Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie partied past one am in Cannes! He drank Bailey's! She drank vodka! He had his hand on her leg! They laughed and whispered in each other's ears! [People]
• Brad Pitt says:

"I am in love and I have the most beautiful family — what else can a guy want?" It's almost like In Touch was wrong! [Mirror]

• Someone in Cannes paid $25,000 for a kiss from Robert Pattinson. For that price, some of the sparkles had better rub off. Oh, the money went to AmFar. [Page Six]
• Guess who lost her BlackBerry in Cannes? Paris Hilton. The Daily Fail prints pictures of her drunkenly straddling Doug Whatshisname so you get the impression that she was too busy grinding to keep tabs on her phone. [Daily Mail]
• When getting takeout, Owen Wilson doesn't wait on line with the plebes, he walks straight into the kitchen. [Page Six]
• Jay-Z has left Def Jam records, the label which issued his biggest hits. He went from artist on Def Jam to president of Def Jam and back to artist again, and now, like Madonna, he has a deal with Live Nation. [Crain's]
• Sarah Jessica Parker says Matthew Broderick is reacting strongly to the intense media attention and threats their surrogate is receiving: "He's furious. He's angry." [People]
• Alec Baldwin has penned am essay praising documentary filmmaking. "If you want to see something off the crash-bang-boom thrill ride that Hollywood promises each year, don't rule out documentaries." [WSJ]
• Trudie Styler has written a missive titled "It Is Not Hypocritical To Fly If I'm Campaigning For The Environment." Subtitle: "There's no way I could raise millions for the rainforest if I only travelled by boat or train." [Guardian]
• Patrick Swayze: Releasing a memoir in the fall. [UPI]
• Boo. Rihanna and Aubrey "Drake" Graham are just friends. Boo. The man who was Jimmy on Degrassi told a radio station: "I have the most utmost respect for her. I think she's so talented. I'm being honest- - [She's] just a friend that's all." Although even if they were seen kissing, that doesn't mean it's serious, or that either of them would admit it. [People]
• 90210's AnnaLynne McCord and Twilight's Kellan Lutz: It's on. [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle would be "perfectly happy" with a reality show, says a source. [MSNBC Scoop]
• The woman who choked Terri Seymour after American Idol on Tuesday night was getting revenge for Paula Abdul. Janice Thibodeaux tells Radar Online, "I wasn't cool with Simon Cowell choking Paula Abdul on the show last week and with her crying-out 'help' as he did so. Nobody said anything about that so I wanted to confront him about it because that is not appropriate behavior, is it?" Um, no, but does that mean you should do it? Thibodeaux continues: "[Terri] was taking some photographs with her camera and I knew she was his girlfriend so I went up to her to tell her how I felt. We started arguing and then I put my hands around her neck and started choking her just like Simon had done with Paula. Then I walked away and I was tackled by the police but I don't regret what I did because of what Simon did to Paula, nobody seemed to care about that." Okay, now we're forced to point to our ear and make a swirly motion. You know what that means. [Rolling Stone via Radar Online]
• Scarlett Johansson and Pete Yorn have recorded a collection of duets, on an album called Break Up. [USA Today]
• Katie Holmes will perform in Sunday's 20th anniversary National Memorial Day Concert broadcast from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol. She'll play the sister of an Iraq war vet. Tom and Suri will be watching. [USA Today]
• Wow: Natalie Cole's kidney came from a deceased fan. Cole has been on a long list, and was always looking for donors, and, a spokesperson says, "Having heard of Ms. Cole's need for a kidney, the family asked that one of their loved one's kidneys be transplanted to Ms. Cole if they were a match." [CNN]
• Ugh, sad: While Natalie Cole was undergoing transplant surgery, her older sister died of cancer. [Page Six]
• Breaking news: "Kim Kardashian Is Getting Ready for Bikini Season." [People]
• Mike Judge's new show, The Goode Family, mocks environmentalists and vegetarians. [WSJ]
• Ben Stiller has two films coming out this weekend: he stars in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, but he exec-produced a small documentary, The Boys, about brother songwriters famous for their Disney tunes. [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson didn't use her longtime hairdresser, Ken Paves, for her Vanity Fair cover, because photographer Mario Testino insisted on his own team. Guess he didn't want big "Texas" hair. [Page Six]
• The Black Eyed Peas are releasing The E.N.D — "Energy Never Dies," but don't call it an album. Will.i.am says: "The album? Whatever. I don't listen to albums. "People don't hear music like that now. When they stopped puttin' CD players in cars, that was when I knew it was over. The tradition of gettin' 15 songs and expectin' people to hear 'em how you made 'em? That's not it any more." The E.N.D. is more like a project that evolves through remixes and fan participation. Or something. [Guardian]
• When he was 16, Simon Cowell was a 'miserable little devil' who was kicked out of school. [The Sun]
• Denise Richards' romantic life? It's complicated. She is "Dating-ish. That means not a boyfriend. When I say dating-ish, I mean no boyfriend." [Yahoo via E!]
• Robert DeNiro is a grandpa! [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which newly attached TV actress got it on with a gawky star from the same network?" [NY Daily News]
• Q: How many pairs of suspenders do you have? A: "Never counted 'em. But my guess would be—there are suspenders in New York and Washington and, of course, at my home in Los Angeles—150. But they can't be clip-ons. Every pair of pants I buy—jeans, anything—we sew in the suspender buttons." — Larry King. [Time]
• "Some people are suing us at the moment and although it was initially a bit depressing, now it's become really inspiring. You think, 'Right, if everyone's trying to take away our best song, then we'd better write 25 better ones.' And so just at the point where I was thinking about getting fat and becoming complacent, I've been finding more inspiration." — Chris Martin of Coldplay. [Rolling Stone]
• "As everybody knows, chicks dig the vampires." — Paul Wesley, star of the new CW show The Vampire Diaries. The show is produced by Kevin Williamson, the force behind Dawson's Creek.

• Eminem says Elton John helped him fight his drug addiction. "He had a substance-abuse problem in the past. So when I first wanted to get sober, I called him," explains Em.

• He continues, "He's somebody who's in the business and can identify and relate to the lifestyle and how hectic things can be. He understands, like, the pressure and any other reasons that you wanna come up with for doing drugs. Me and him have had similar lives and stuff. So I reached out to him and told him, 'Look, I'm going through a problem, and I need your advice.'" [The Daily Express]
• Eminem is sending everyone who pre-orders his new album Relapse from the official website a copy of the video for "3 a.m." Also, he Tweeted: "I'm giving away an extra free song with my album if you buy the Relapse CD. I'm still on the run, my darling." [Rolling Stone]
• Hollywood producer Jon Peters' tell-all book will reveal that Barbara Streisand dated Robert Redford, Ryan O'Neal and Kris Kristofferson. [UPI]
• Farrah Fawcett has dropped the lawsuit she filed over the iconic photo of her in a red swimsuit. [TMZ]
• Craig Nevius is suing Ryan O'Neal and others, because he says he was responsible for the Farrah Fawcett documentary that will air tomorrow on NBC, but was pushed out of the project and O'Neal "physically threatened him." [TMZ]
• Kevin and "Aunt " Jodi Kreider, brother and sister-in-law of Kate Gosselin on Jon and Kate Plus 8 say that Jon had to empty his 401K because Kate has been keeping the money they earned from their reality show to herself. [Star]
• In this video interview, Jodi Kreider says, "It's a very sad situation... This is going to affect these children terribly, if she goes for a divorce. I think right now Kate is very lost and very blinded by her actions and what she is doing — [she] is not being a mother that is nurturing and hands on." [Radar Online]
• Jesus Luz's dad says that Madonna and his son are indeed having some sort of commitment ceremony, but it won't be legally binding. "The Kabbalah ceremony (that) will link up my son Jesus Luz and Madonna only confirms that he is extremely happy. I don't know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know Kabbalah (or if the ceremony) will have legal validity." [The Daily Express]
• To celebrate his birthday Robert Pattinson went out to dinner with Kristen Stewart... and his parents, plus a few New Moon crew members. [E!]
• Andre Agassi and Steffi Graff are suing companies that they say illegally used their names in website domain names. [UPI]
• Ashley Olsen posed for a series of "shocking" pictures in V Man magazine, in which her hair is dark and she's wearing a bra top. Mostly they're shocking because she doesn't looks more mature than when she was 8. [The L.A. Times]
• Pearl Jam bassist Jeff Ament was jumped and robbed by three thugs with knives. The robbers smashed the window of his car and chased after him when he tried to get away. They made off with $7,000 and Ament suffered a laceration on his head, but he's OK and the whole thing was caught on a security camera. [TMZ]
• Glenn Close wrote on the Huffington Post about her trip to prison for The Oprah Winfrey Show to talk about the Puppies Behind Bars program, in which inmates train service dogs. The footage will air on Friday's show. [The Huffington Post]
• Simon Cowell says in an interview with PETA, "I think it's nice that [the Obamas] have made an issue of buying a dog for the kids. What I think would be great would be if they also took in a shelter dog, just from anywhere, to balance it. I'll even pay for the dog food!" [Entertainment Weekly]
• Bette Midler has some unsolicited dating advice for Jennifer Aniston: "She should find somebody who is really hot, who's not in show business. Somebody with a lot of money, and she should live the large life and forget about these a—holes. She's a great girl. She's got everything going for her." Um, thanks? [People]
• In this video a homeless woman defends Katharine McPhee from the paparazzi: [Perez Hilton]
• Katie Price's management company will no longer represent her, but they're sticking with her husband Peter Andre, who recently announced he's divorcing her. [Mirror]
• Steven Speilburg says he created the video game "Boom Box" because he wanted a game that all of his seven children could play. He said he plays just about every video game that comes out and is a big fan of the Wii. "It's been very, very good for a parent like me who wants our kids not to be couch potatoes, but to get up and move their bodies around more," said Spielberg. [Reuters]
• James Tupper says of his newborn son with Anne Heche, "It's a bit like having an unreasonable employer. He doesn't give breaks." [People]
• Survivor winner Richard Hatch has been moved to a halfway house from the federal prison where he was serving his sentence for not paying taxes on his $1 million prize. [Yahoo]
• Hugh Jackman says he wasn't uncomfortable while giving his son "the talk." He said, "My dad never ever did it with me so I was very adamant that I was going to do it with my son." Jackman also told his son, "You just got to respect girls. But he goes, 'Dad are they hot, though?' That's what he always wants to know. I try to tell him that he not use me to get to them." [People]
• Shanna Moakler, who quit the Miss California USA organization because of Carrie Prejean called Ryan Seacrest's radio show this morning when she was very upset. You can listen here: [Perez Hilton]
• Morrissey has cancelled another show, but it's still not clear what illness he's suffering from. [BBC]
• Martin Scorsese may want Leonardo DiCaprio for the upcoming Frank Sinatra biopic, but the studio wants Johnny Depp. We don't see either in the role. Suggestions? [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
• Scotland Yard officials are considering cutting back on police protection for junior members of the royal family because the bill comes to £50 million a year. [The Daily Mail]
• Janice Dickinson attacked the paparazzi last night. You can check out the video and decide whether you think she was on something or not. [Perez Hilton]
• DMX was released from jail today after serving 90 days for cruelty to animals, possession of narcotic drugs, theft and possession of marijuana. [TMZ]
• Kevin Smith discussed why he decided to direct the film A Couple of Dicks, starring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, Which he didn't write. He says, "After Zack and Miri - or after, rather, the collapse of Zack and Miri - I was just like, I don't feel like writing anything right now. I read it and I was like, this is like Lethal Weapon with 40 percent less action, which is something I can get my head around. On 30 Rock, one of the posters in Tracy's office is for a movie called Black Cop / White Cop, so when it was announced people were just like,"It's Black Cop / White Cop!" But it's not race-specific. It's not, "He's a white cop who plays it by the book. And he's a slaphappy black dude who's gonna teach him how to misbehave and be a real cop!" It's two guys who are longtime partners who kind of depend on the friendship." [New York Magazine]
• Mariska Hargitay is on Capitol Hill with her family for the second day in a row. [Politico]
• Dateline is devoting an entire hour to Taylor Swift later this month. Remember when that was a new show? [AP]
• In her Goop newsletter, Gwyneth Paltrow advised that people should play Coldplay if they are looking for good party music. "Gwyneth Paltrow is not a music expert but is an avid listener and knows how to get down," she wrote. [The Daily Express]
• There's more talk about cougars here from Vivica A. Fox, if you can stand it. [CBS News]
• Tori Spelling says when she was pregnant she was afraid of having a girl. "It turns out that Stella is a total mama's girl," she says of her 11-month-old. "For all my fears, without my even trying, Stella wants her mama. When she is in [husband] Dean's arms, she lunges for me the way Liam did for him." [People]
• Here's Winona Ryder's secret to looking young, according to a friend: "She is a very healthy eater, and I think that is a big part of it," says Collea. "It sounds boring, but the girl eats a lot of salads. And you know those giant Big Gulps cups that most people fill with soda? She's got hers filled with water." [People]
• Roadside Attractions bought the worldwide distribution right to Good Hair a documentary Chris Rock made about African-American hair culture after his daughter asked him, "Daddy, how come I don't have good hair?" [Variety]

• A fan of Britney Spears rushed up on stage and tried to dance with Brit Brit on Saturday night in Connecticut. He was quickly surrounded by backup dancers and "escorted" away. There's video. [Perez]

• The dude in question (at Britney's concert) was drunk. He was arrested for breach of the peace and also booked for being "highly uncooperative" while in custody. [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's case in the adoption of Mercy James will be in the Malawi Supreme Court today. Will Mercy's biological father — who opposes the adoption — try to derail the proceedings? [Times of London, UPI]
• Madonna and Demi Moore have bonded over Kabbalah and the fact that they both have younger men; a source says they're hoping to arrange a double date soon. Do you think they'll have milkshakes? One glass, four straws? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's daughter Lourdes hearts Lady GaGa! Madge and Lola went to Lady G's show in NYC and Lourdes was "singing along to every word." What's amusing is that since GaGa's megablonde and cartoonish, she's almost like a young Madonna, no? [Gatecrasher]
• David Hasselhoff was rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning over the weekend. His 16-year-old daughter found him unconscious and he was "barely breathing" when they got to the emergency room. [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse left the hospital — where she'd been after collapsing for dehydration — and went to a bar. [The Sun]
• Angelina Jolie's "curved bullet kill" in Wanted has been nominated for an MTV Movie Award in a new category: Best WTF Moment. Possibly because MTV would love it if Angie showed up. [E!]
• By the by: Andrew Morton, who penned biographies of Princess Di, Monica Lewinsky and Tom Cruise, will write about Angelina Jolie next. [Page Six]
• Casey Aldridge, boyfriend and baby daddy to Jamie Lynn Spears, is out of the hospital after flipping his truck. A "source" says "They're both at the house in Liberty [Miss.]... Now Jamie Lynn will have two babies to care for." [E!, People]
• "I'm not embarrassed about being bisexual," says Pink, according to this disreputable paper. [News Of The World]
• Pink has Twittered: "I just read that I'm bisexual. So 1991. Good thing people write articles about me so I can get my facts [straight]." Apparently the interview with the News Of The World was "entirely fabricated." [NY Daily News]
• Words you probably never thought you would see together: "Robert Pattinson's penis implant." [Yahoo News via Bang Showbiz]
• Crap. Jenny McCarthy has inked a deal with Oprah Winfrey's Harpo Productions and will develop a talk show, which, of course, Jenny will host. What do you think she'll talk about? Autism? Anyone? [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Wolverine had an $87 million opening weekend, which is huge. But holding on to it might be tough: Star Trek opens this Friday. [NY Post]
• Now that you've suffered through Wolverine, know this: Hugh Jackman will star in Ghostopolis, a flick about a man who works for the government's Supernatural Immigration Task Force. His job is to send ghosts who have escaped into our world back to Ghostopolis. It's what they call "high concept." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• A writer hangs out with famed trainer Tracy Anderson: "According to Tracy, if I commit to an hour of her exercise regime six days a week, for the rest of my life, just like Gwynnie and Madge (whose remarkable bodies she proudly takes responsibility for), a 'teeny, tiny, lean and mean' figure will be mine. Voilà." [Daily Mail]
• Scarlett Johansson's directorial debut — a segment for New York, I Love You — is going straight to DVD. It's being called "unwatchable" and a source says, "It was really bad, so it was cut." [Daily Mail]
• Bethenny Frankel, one of the Real Housewives of New York, went out to a Hula-Hoop competition with a date… and the Times. She wore "a baby T and skin-tight Paige jeans." And said: ""My friends call me 'That Girl,' like Marlo Thomas. Like, I'm in New York trying to figure it out." [NY Times]
• Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon says of her ex, the guy she allegedly gave a black eye: "What guy does that? He acted like he was Rihanna." Her attorney calls Nick Stefanov a "jilted moron." [Newser via NY Daily News]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Elisabeth Hasselbeck says: "I'm definitely not paying attention to my pregnancy." That makes two of us! [People]
• Jay-Z is living in post-racial America, you guys. He performed at the University of Arizona and later blogged: "On the show as well were Third Eye Blind and Kelly Clarkson ... I thought that had to be the oddest pairing ever, but soon realized it's what I've always professed. There's NO such thing as Black music or White music only Good or Bad music." [MTV via RapRadar.com]
• Rihanna's new man is an ex; she was seeing Negus Sealy before she "made it." A source says: "He's a really smart guy - clever, good looking, very cool. All the girls adore him and call him the Love God." [Daily Mail, NY Post]
• Victoria and David Beckham are house-hunting in Italy; he's been playing for AC Milan while Vicky and the kids stayed in L.A. since the boys are enrolled in CA schools, but now that summer's coming, it's Ciao, Hollywood. [Daily Mail]
• John "The Player" Mayer is single again. It seems that model he was dating talked too much. To the press. Although who knows. [Gatecrasher]
• Cindy Crawford's husband, Rande Gerber, is being sued for sexual harassment by two female employees at a San Diego business he owns. [Page Six]
• Someone asked Russell Brand if he would shag reported virgin Susan Boyle. "I don't think I should be the one to do that," he said. "Susan deserves a nice strapping farmer from the North." Related: What is wrong with people?!?! [The Sun]
• Gisele Bundchen rarely poses for pictures with her new husband Tom Brady: "Tom hates being photographed," she explains. [Gatecrasher]
• Mark McGrath is no longer the host of Extra, so he's trying to make music again. Sugar Ray comeback album, people. Titled: Music For Cougars. Naturally. [Page Six]
• Princess Eugenie was mugged in Cambodia. [Mirror]
• Enrique Iglesias and his manager allegedly ran over the foot of an 11-year-old girl as they were leaving a radio station appearance back in 2007. Lawsuit alert! [TMZ]
• A Little Britain movie could be coming to the United States. [The Sun]
• Sting's daughter, Coco Sumner, fell and fractured her skull outside of a restaurant. She is recovering "well." [Daily Mail
• Vanessa Hudgens has settled a breach of contract lawsuit filed against her by a producer who worked with her very early in her career. [UPI]
• Another day, another claim that Coldplay's music is stolen. This time it's Cat Stevens — sorry — Yusuf Islam, who says: "There's been this argument about Coldplay stealing this melody from Joe Satriani, but, if you listen to it, it's mine! It's the Foreigner Suite, it is!" [The Sun]
• An excerpt from a Paul Newman biography has details about the actor's relationship with Joanne Woodward — which started when he was married to someone else. "I was probably too immature to make a success of my first marriage," Newman allegedly said. "Guilty as hell" was how he described himself about his first marriage, adding: "And I'll carry it with me for the rest of my life." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item: "Which D-list rapper got in a hemp, er, heap, of trouble with event sponsors when he lit up a joint at their bash? They couldn't kick him out because he was the 'big' celebrity name of the night, but they didn't end up paying him." [Gatecrasher]
• "Famous female singers tend to moan and whine a lot about being famous. Damn, I'm Pink and my bank account hasn't seen a red zero for a long time, and I can do what I love best — sing. Isn't that something that makes life better?" — Pink. [News Of The World]
• "When you come to film in Rome, the official statement to you is that the Vatican has no influence. Everything progressed very smoothly, but unofficially a couple of days before we were to start filming in several of our locations, it was explained to us that through back channels and so forth that the Vatican had exerted some influence. Was I surprised? No. Am I a little frustrated at times? Sure." — Ron Howard, on shooting Angels & Demons. [AP]
• "It is good fun and the part feels like it was written for me. Chuck has witty lines, gets to dress up and has very nice clothes […] [Sometimes] I [keep and] wear the suits. They're killer, don't you think? There is a lot of stuff I wouldn't wear, but he really puts it together very well. The whole outfit just comes together as an interesting look." — Ed Westwick. [Mirror]
• "Nia is like a rock star over there. You walk down the streets of Greece and people just go nuts, it's like you're with Tom Cruise or something." — Rachel Dratch, who is in the new Nia Vardalos flick, My Life In Ruins. [CBS News]
• "I've always rather admired you but now I realise you're an absolute ——. I'm only sorry I didn't get a chance to kick you when I fell over – maybe next time." — Judi Dench, in response to a critic who called her latest play "deeply dodgy" and "fit only for pretentious masochists." [Telegraph]
• "All of these shows are derivative of the shows that we used to do. The topics, some of the story lines, they're all very similar to what we did every day on the show for 11 years. When you have dynamic people that have some sort of conflict and put them in a confined space together, it's bound to be dramatic." — Ricki Lake, new host of Charm School, thinks the reality genre is a lot like her old talk show. [NY Daily News]

• Samantha Ronson's family is seeking a restraining order against Lindsay Lohan, and confirming some of the troubling rumors about Lindsay's habits.

• Samantha's mom, Ann Dexter-Jones says Lindsay "was doing drugs" in her hotel room at Chateau Marmont this weekend. "She cuts herself too," Ann continued. "She is a cutter!" Sister Charlotte Ronson complained about Lindsay trying to get into her party and followed the family to the hotel and booked the room below them. "She does these things to get attention," said Charlotte. [OK]
• Sources say Lindsay is "devastated" about the restraining order. She has been crying uncontrollably and people close to her say they're worried she "might lash out." [TMZ]
• Lindsay tried to deal by doing what any young woman would do after a breakup: Going out clubbing with her mom. [Perez Hilton]
• Samantha Ronson went to Las Vegas alone for a DJ set last night. If you don't believe they are broken up, TMZ has provided riveting video of Sam walking alone. [TMZ]
• But, a source insists Ronson and Lohan "are totally communicating. [People]
• Looks like Jessica Simpson's record label wasn't too happy about her forgetting the lyrics to her songs - she's been dropped. [Perez Hilton]
• Jessica Simpson's rep confirms that she is no longer on country label Sony Nashville, but says she's still with Epic, the record company she released her pop albums with. "She was on loan to Sony Nashville for her country album," says her rep, adding that Jess "is and has always been an Epic artist. She continues to be on Epic's label."[People]
• When Rihanna's dad heard that Chris Brown pled guilty in court, he said "needs to stop being in denial" about what he did. "So what happened? Somebody else did this to Rihanna then?" said Ronald Fenty. "I just would like to see justice go in the right direction." [Us]
• Coldplay has filed court papers denying guitarist Joe Satriani's claim that they plagiarized one of his songs to create "Viva la Vida." They say Satriani's song "lacks originality" so it's not eligible for copyright protection and that any similarity is coincidental. [E!]
• Aspiring singer Leighton Meester has leaked a new song Heidi Montag-style. You can listen to Blair Bear's singing voice here: [Perez Hilton]
• As mentioned earlier, Nadya Suleman has a reality show in the works that will focus on her octuplets and "will also be following Nadya Suleman as she attempts to find a person to have a relationship with." There's still no word on what network will pick up the warped reality show. [Perez Hilton]
• Howard K. Stern and psychologist Khristine Eroshevich were supposed to be arraigned today in the Anna Nicole Smith drug case, but the court date has been postponed to May 13. [TMZ]
• People desperately want Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart to be together. If you are one of them, check out this intricate analysis of what time each left a hotel over the weekend. [E!]
• The Pet Shop Boys will release their 10th album, Yes in the U.S. on April 21. "We thought that 'Yes' just kind of summed up the theme of the album. It's a positive, upbeat, euphoric pop album," keyboardist Chris Lowe said. "It's almost an answer to the question, 'Is that the Pet Shop Boys?' 'Yes!'" [CNN]
• "I am often aware of how much harder it is for young women in Hollywood today ... I am so relieved and feel so privileged that I am beyond that." - Julia Roberts. [AFP]
• Charlie Sheen's baby, Max Sheen, has been released from the hospital. The twin was in the hospital for the past three weeks because of issues related to his low birth weight. "Premature babies are often underweight. Max made weight and went home," said Sheen's rep. [People]
• Following his arrest this weekend, Redmond O'Neal, the son of Ryan O'Nealand Farrah Fawcett, was charged with a felony count of drug possession today. [TMZ]
• Farrah Fawcett's doctor says she is expected to leave this hospital in a few days, and that she has been a particularly great patient. "All people who face cancer are brave," says Dr. Lawrence Piro, "but Farrah has been especially brave because she has had to battle two burdens at the same time. One is the burden of cancer. The other is the burden of going through the cancer in a very public way. Throughout, Farrah has used something which is a masterful gift of hers, and that's her humor. And positive thinking." [People]
• Nicholas Cage has sold his German castle. "Due to the difficult economic situation, unfortunately, I was no longer able to keep it," he said. [Yahoo]
• Diane Keaton will star opposite Harrison Ford in a movie about feuding morning news anchors. [Daily Variety]
• Four of the girls expelled from Oprah Winfrey's Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa on sexual harassment charges say they were locked in their dorm rooms for days with guards outside before being expelled. One is talking to the tabloids and says, "If they say I was touching other learners, it's true ... No one complained to me about it. Obviously if you touch someone, if they are uncomfortable, they will tell you." [Perez Hilton]
• Drew Barrymore says she didn't lose weight while filming Grey Gardens intentionally. "I got really thin while I was making the movie because I was so fraught with anxiety," said Barrymore. "I couldn't eat for a while." [E!]
• Drew also says that she wants to focus more on dramatic roles now. "I'm in my thirties now, and I really want to try all the things that I haven't gotten to do yet, like directing, and doing a drama," said Drew. "I've produced and gotten to do a lot of optimistic love stories, and that was so where I was at for 10 years in my life. And now I feel like, 'Okay, now I know how to do that. I wanted to get scared again.'" [People]
• Gwyneth Paltrow and her trainer Tracy Anderson are having a hard time getting people to sign up for their $900-per-month gym, and now Anderson is holding two classes at a Marriott. [The Observer]
• Julianne Hough is leaving Dancing With The Stars next season. "I wasn't planning to come back this season because I wanted to focus on my music," Hough said. "But I went back and it's been so much fun to dance with my good friend who happens to be my boyfriend." [Fox News]
• Hugh Jackman Tweeted: "Having lunch on the harbor [sic] across from the Opera Center. Loving life!" But the landmark in his hometown of Sydney is actually the Opera House. [The Sydney Morning Herald]
• Sienna Miller is making her Broadway debut this fall in the play "After Miss Julie." She says: "I'm scared obviously but really excited ... If you want to be an actress you think about opening on Broadway." [Reuters]
• Kim Kardashian may be the butt of Eminem's jokes, but she says she doesn't mind. "I just saw Eminem's new video for "We Made You" and he totally spoofs me!!" Kardashian wrote on her blog. "It was a total surprise to me because I had no idea he was going to talk about me in the song ... I think this video is so funny! I am a huge Eminem fan and find it flattering that he would rap about me ... He's a bit harsh about some other celebrities, but you just have to let it go and have a sense of humor." [People]

• Being on vacation with Amy Winehouse must be relentlessly entertaining:

She was apparently told she couldn't sunbathe au naturale, so she whipped off her bikini top and streaked through the resort in St. Lucia, waving her arms in the air. She told you she was trouble! [Daily Mail]

• The family of Mercy James, the Malawian child Madonna would like to adopt, are on Madonna's side. Mercy's uncle says the guy who claims to be Mercy's biological dad "didn't care about his girlfriend, Mercy's mother, when she needed him most. He didn't even come to see his baby." [The Sun]
• Madonna was overheard telling people: I can't believe I'm leaving my beautiful baby behind. It's not right. I love that baby girl. She's my little girl - she needs to be with me." A judge disagrees, your Madgesty! [MSNBC]
• Chris Brown was in court yesterday, and he pleaded not guilty to two felony counts. His next court date is a preliminary hearing on April 29. [Rolling Stone]
• Some are "surprised" that Chris Brown pleaded not guilty? Really? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Rihanna was not in court, but her lawyer was, and he said her feelings about the case are that she would be happy if "it were over quickly." [TMZ]
• The latest on Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, according to LL: "We are taking a brief break so I can focus on myself." But, uh, she banned you from her party and changed the locks, right? [E!]
• Sam Ronson's family is hoping that Sam will not get back together with Lindsay. Ouch! [People]
• Courtney Love is about to sue a whole mess of people: She finally realized that whomever had been handling Kurt Cobain's estate lost millions of dollars. It's not her fault she didn't look into this sooner, she was high, okay? [Page Six]
• Cops in Costa Rica are investigating the security team hired by Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen since they, you know, open fired on photographers, which doesn't seem very legal. [NY Post]
• Gisele wore Galliano, by the by. [People]
• Howard K. Stern will not cut a deal with the D.A. in the Anna Nicole Smith drug case and is expected to plead not guilty. He'll be in court today. [TMZ]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: Britney Spears might take her Circus tour to Australia. [E!]
• Of the items being moved out of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's London home, the mattress is not surprising; the dinosaur, the large horse and surfboard are. Gwynnie's moving to NYC; Chris is going on tour. [Daily Mail]
• Speaking of Chris Martin, Coldplay is denying that it copied Joe Satriani's music for "Viva La Vida." [Breitbart]
• Oh dear: Scarlett Johansson has reportedly been working out with Gwyneth's trainer, Tracy Anderson. She's already lost 14 pounds and now she's off carbs. Is she prepping for Iron Man 2 or just joining the brigade of stick thin stars? [The Sun]
• Did a reporter set up a fake charity and trick Heather Mills into dishing dirt on Paul McCartney? [ABC News]
• Zac Efron's mom stuffed hi stocking with condoms last Christmas and his dad gave him some speech about protection at some point so maybe the point is you won't see Zac as a young baby daddy any day soon. [E!]
• The woman who was saved from committing suicide by Demi Moore and "the Twitter community" says "I'm eternally grateful to her for helping me." [RadarOnline]
• Why aren't people donating to Prince Harry's African charity? Donations have dropped a whopping 84%. [Telegraph]
• Jennifer Garner will star in Butter, a flick that's a political satire set in the small-town world of competitive butter-sculpting. Yeah. Butter. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Ru-roh: Pamela Anderson's boyfriend was in a kite-surfing accident in Hawaii. Luckily, he escaped serious injury and didn't need C.J. to run into the water with a red floaty thing. [Daily Express]
• Kylie Minogue took her new man to meet her parents and they found him to be "charming and witty." Good sign. [Daily Express]
• Buddhist and friend of the Dalai Lama Richard Gere attended a "Mind and Life" conference in Dharamsala, India on Monday. [Hindustan Times]
• Dennis Rodman was thrown out of a West Hollywood hotel after "slapping and groping" female guests. He needs to learn how to ask nicely when he wants to borrow a dress. [TMZ]
• The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation received a gift from the estate of the late Luther Vandross; the amount of the gift was not disclosed. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which Grammy-winning rapper can't get enough weed? She orders from a NYC delivery service non-stop, then tries to sweet-talk the courier into giving her free bags of ganja." [Gatecrasher]
• "He's certainly not the buffoon he looks like. This is the most amazing thing I found out about him. I was once staying at a hotel, and I was in the room directly under his. He is an amazing fuck — and you can quote me on this. The screams coming from the woman were some of the purest sounds of pleasure I'd ever heard." — Rupert Everett on Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter. [Page Six via The Daily Beast]
• "Casey grew up in one of the richest families in New York, and she grew up without any responsibilities or any boundaries. And so, for her, it was very important to do something where there were laws and where your morals counted. I was very much into the idea of doing something I hadn't done before. This is a show about cops. Our show is very grounded in the sense of the crappy things that happen to you are funny. That's how you deal with them and get through life." — Amber Tamblyn, on her character in new show The Unusuals. [USA Today]
• "I don't know Ethan Hawke. Ethan Hawke wanted to do some kind of superficial Rolling Stone article. And he did everything he could to make his story the greatest story ever in Rolling Stone. And it was a fictitious (expletive) lie. O.K? He didn't even call me by my name. ... He called Norah Jones, Ray Charles, everybody else by name. Willie (Nelson), Kris (Kristofferson). Why didn't he call my name? Why didn't he say Toby Keith walked through and said this (expletive)? Right? You know why. You know why. You know as good as anybody why. He didn't want to (expletive) deal with the aftermath." — Toby Keith. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "The pilot script showed up, and I stalked [producer Alan Ball] until he said yes. The morning I showed up for work after going blonde, everyone was very relieved." — Anna Paquin on playing Sookie Stackhouse in True Blood. [Vanity Fair]
• "We were on the set, and the two firefighters that work here, I overheard them talking about, 'Yeah, you know, if I'd known I could measure from the pubic bone… And they were talking about a cock-measuring contest.' And I go, 'That's going in the show.'" — Denis Leary on Rescue Me. [The Daily Beast]
• "I'm crying for two and a half hours straight. And then you leave the stage door and people are like, 'Can we take your picture?' And I'm thinking, 'I've never looked worse.' I need a lot of eye cream." — Lauren Ambrose, on her role in the play Exit The King. [WWD]
• "Combs have been on the scene ever since humans had hair on his head. which is quite sometime? The date perhaps goes beyond the time of the old stone age. Man being man and not a lion would
  not be content to let his mane run wild and free. So he had to find some ways to tame it. First on the list of combing operations must have been the use of fingers. So in a way the fingers are the first combs of history. Today, combs are universal and no corner of the globe is without it." — Your friend Kanye West. [Jossip]

• Amy Winehouse is househunting in St. Lucia!

She will be a Caribbean Queen. A source says: "Amy loves it over there and being away from it all has helped her hugely in her fight against drugs. She has been drinking and smoking cannabis but is still a million times better than she was in Camden." [The Sun]

• Brad Pitt took the boys — Maddox and Pax — to Las Vegas! They were spotted at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino last night. Meanwhile, Angelina and the girls (Shiloh and Zahara) are in New York. Donde esta los twins?? [People]
• Liev Schreiber might star opposite Angelina Jolie in the spy thriller Salt. Sounds like a good combo, no? [Variety]
• Rihanna is "torn" about helping the police charge Chris Brown with assault. [NY Daily News]
• Madonna may not be in the Twilight sequel after all. Sadness! She would make a very convincing bloodsucker. [ONTD via EW]
• The "intimate" details of Madonna and Guy Ritchie's divorce will be made public? Haven't we already heard everything? [Daily Mail]
• Studios are "lining up" to court Tom Cruise? Because Valkyrie did better than expected around the world, and because he promotes his flix so hard? [Variety]
• When Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets, was on the cover of Life & Style, sales went "through the roof." Us is expected to have a good week, too, since it has exclusive photos of Suleman. The question is: Who is getting the money from the sale of these exclusive pix? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kanye West's hair is evolving. "His ducktail seems to be growing nicely into the mullet-nub stage. Bravo." [NY Mag]
• Did you know that Kate Winslet was the fourth choice for her role in The Reader? It was first offered to Nicole Kidman, then Marion Cotillard was considered, then Naomi Watts. [Daily Mail]
• When Dita Von Teese said she went celibate for awhile after breaking up with Marilyn Manson, she was only joking. "I just thought it was funny to say at the time," she says. "I'm pretty sure it's safe for you to report that I've had sex by now." But there's no one dude in her life: "I'm just really enjoying being single, and having fun, global affairs. I'm enjoying being free, and enjoying different men...I'm enjoying being in the moment and enjoying everyone for what they have to offer." [E!]
• Dita is working on a second book: "It's a step-by-step guide to beauty for girls who don't want to look like every other girl." [E!]
• LOL at "Orlando Zoom." [The Sun]
• At the Brit awards, Bono joked that he wanted to be in Girls Aloud. Bass player Adam Clayton quipped, "Which one?" [The Sun]
• Duffy won three Brit awards and joked, "I don't mean to be greedy." [Daily Mail]
• Coldplay won zero, repeat, zero Brit awards. [Mirror]
• Amy Poehler's new show, Parks and Recreation, started filming today. Amy says: "I'm excited about settling in and doing a really specific character, respectfully written, and I think it's really funny and really small and low-stakes. And I enjoy small, specific, low-stakes humor." [E!]
• A drunk Josh Hartnett knocked over a bunch of glasses of Champagne at a Fashion Week after party and explained, "Sorry, I'm half-lit." [Perez]
• Mickey Rourke's agent, David Unger, says financiers preferred Nicolas Cage for the role in The Wrestler. But Unger explains how he helped Rourke make a comeback. And! When Unger's parents' dog died, he says, Rourke got them another. "He did it without telling me; my mother had tears in her eyes," he says. "Of course, they named the dog Mickey." [USA Today]
• Tupac is dead, but his legal battles live on: A production company is suing the company run by his mother, alleging they're "refus(ing) to honor and perform a contract of a production of the film based on the life of Tupac Shakur." Dear Mama: Keep ya head up! [Hollywood Reporter]
• Anna Wintour wants Katy Perry and Justin Timberlake in Vogue. Whatever Anna wants — Anna gets! [Page Six]
• Recessionista alert: Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel used a coupon when getting her hair done. [Page Six]
• Everything you need to know about Conan O'Brien's last shows is here. [NY Daily News]
• Eric Bana is working on a film called Love The Beast, about his obsession with cars and racing. But he's teamed up with an environmental group to offset the pollution caused during filming: "We love cars but love the planet more," a producer explains. [Reuters]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger was supposed to shoot a scene for a Sylvester Stallone flick, but he has a pesky budget crisis to deal with. [TMZ]
• American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee will make her TV acting debut in an April episode of CSI: NY. [Reuters]
• Sandra Bullock will star in a flick called The Blindside, in which a homeless black teen from a broken home is taken in by a well-to-d- family abd becomes one of the first players selected at the NFL draft. (It's based on a true story.) Bullock plays the rich mom. [Hollywood Reporter]
• E! host Debbie Matenopoulos is seeking $12,558 in temporary monthly support from her estranged husband. That's still a lot of money in this economy, right? [People]
• On that new show Confessions Of A Teen Idol, Eric Nies of The Real World and The Grind says he was almost going to be Batman instead of Val Kilmer. Stop laughing! [Videogum]
• Charlie Sheen's pregnant wife was hospitalized for premature contractions but she is already out. [E!]
• Charlie Sheen blabs about the nursery he and wife Brooke have set up for their twin boys, due in April. Yawn. [People]
• Slumdog Millionaire's Anil Kapoor says he identifies with the movie: "I also started from a very simple background. Bare feet. Running in the slums with my friends. Going through the rubbish." He grew up in "what they call a 'chawl,' a step up [from] a slum. You have these small cubicles, 100 or 200 sq ft, like holes, but they are made of concrete, and the ceilings are slightly different. For all of us there was a communal bathroom, so you have to stand in line. It's like two baths for about 10 families and two toilets for about 10, 15 families." [Guardian]
• What the world needs now: Little Fockers, the next flick coming down the line from the people who brought you Meet The Parents and Meet The Fockers. Ben Stiller will return; Robert De Niro and Owen Wilson are in negotiations. [Reuters]
• Calm down: The Rock is not returning to wrestling. He is, however, pushing his new flick, Race To Witch Mountain. Yay? [IHT]
• "I don't want to be known as just a pretty face. I loved Charlize Theron in Monster. I want to play parts that are challenging and inspiring." — Slumdog Millionaire's Freida Pinto. [Telegraph]
• "I thought, well maybe I'd like to get involved, but I was nervous about it and I thought, you know, I don't want to be a dilettante. People would say this guy's just an airhead celebrity and he doesn't know anything, and at the time of course, I didn't. So I thought: well I should learn about this and I travelled there." — Ben Affleck, on getting involved with humanitarian work in the Democratic Republic of Congo. [Mirror]
• "I can tell you that the guys have some standouts. That kid Danny Gokey is one of my favorites. Adam Lambert is pretty darn amazing. So are the guys who play the dueling pianos (Matt Giraud and Ricky Braddy). And Scott (MacIntyre) the blind kid, is fantastic. I love Megan (Corkrey). Oh, and Jackie Tohn - she's great." — Paula Abdul, on her American Idol faves. [MSNBC]
• "The difference now is for new bands. They are under so much pressure to release their material for free. It's different for us, we have a loyal fan base who buy our records. We can also make money from touring, thanks again to our fans, who go out and buy tickets. The danger in giving music away free is for writers. Where would Cole Porter be now? If you have to give away your work for free and you can't play live, where do you earn the money? It's an interesting time for music." — Bono. [The Sun]
• "I'm always looking for a man. But please, only princes should talk to me." — Nicollette Sheridan don't want no frogs. [People]
• "I think I won't [get naked in a movie] again. I can't keep getting away with it, and I don't want to become 'that actress who always gets her kit off.'" — Kate Winslet. [Page Six]
• "I hope Rhianna is getting counseling from a professional counselor who will tell her that there is no way for her to ever win, and that she will have to curtail her own penchant for escalating conflict by screaming at or hitting or humiliating her abuser. I hope he gets real counseling too, that is not from a minister or his mom or any other shame based bullshit method that will never work, and that is designed to avoid dealing directly with self-control issues. I hope that they both leave each other alone and get over their faults." — from a longish rant by Roseanne Barr. [DListed, MSNBC]
• "I can't pass judgment, but aren't fake breasts already looking really 1995?" — Jeanne Tripplehorn to More. [Page Six]

• The country's most famous teen mom, Bristol Palin, will have a boy around December 20th with fiance Levi Johnston. The as-yet-unnamed kiddie already killed a moose with his bare hands in utero. [Page Six]

• Though he persistently claims that he's not a Scientologist, Will Smith gave $122,500 to various Scientologist organizations. It's worth noting that a tax deductible $122,500 for Smith is like twenty buckies to us normal folks. That lady who does Bart Simpson's voice gave the Scientologists $10 million one time! [Perez]
• Last week Paula Abdul was going on and on to Barbara Walters about how Simon Cowell and the producers of American Idol deliberately made her face her stalker, Paula Godspeed, the woman who eventually killed herself outside Abdul's house. Cowell says otherwise: "All [Paula Abdul had] to say is ‘Stop filming, I need to speak with the producers.’ That didn’t happen [during Godspeed's audition]. But I only remember from what I saw [in news clips],” Simon says. [People]
• Jeremy Piven is leaving the David Mamet show Speed the Plow months before the end of its scheduled run. His flack claims that it's because Piven's discovered he has a high level of mercury, to which Mamet responded, "My understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer.” [NYT]
• The shooting death of Mark Ruffalo's brother Scott has officially been ruled a homicide by Los Angeles police. [TMZ]
• Earlier this week, Madonna's flack Liz Rosenberg issued a report that Guy Ritchie had received in the neighborhood of $80 million dollars in the couple's divorce. Almost immediately afterwards, Madonna and Guy said that that Liz was a big liar and that her statement was "misleading" and "inaccurate." Today, Liz is covering her ass with a new announcement from the couple: "A misleading and inaccurate statement, specifically in relation to the sums of money involved, was wrongly issued to AP this week. The financial details of the settlement will remain private, save to say that both of us are happy with our agreement. Our primary concern, like any co-parents, is the care and well being of our children." [Jossip]
• Richard Dreyfuss is suing his father and uncle for nearly $4 million in unpaid loans. It's going to be a FUN Christmas at the Dreyfuss house! [The Star UK]
• More family feuding: Whitney Houston's step-mother is suing her for money she claims Whitney improperly kept after Houston's father, John, died in 2003. [AP via Yahoo News]
• Like mother-in-law Blythe Danner earlier this week, Chris Martin is disavowing divorce rumors. "I'm trying to think of when the last bit of bad news was. Well there hasn't been anything for a while. I'm supposed to be getting divorced but those things aren't happening so don't really count as bad news," the Coldplay star says. [Contact Music]
• A foreclosure company has stepped in to help pay Ed McMahon's mortgage, so the aging star won't get booted from his posh Orange County digs. [TMZ]
• Aw, Dustin Hoffman is a proud papa: "[MY kids] get mad at me for telling everyone about their accomplishments or for finding cute girls for my sons. But even though they love to hate me for it or cruelly imitate me, I can't stop bragging. They are my true credits." [Page Six]
• Stars are sharing their worst xmas presents ever with Cindy Adams. ""My most awful present as a teenager was a calculator," Michelle Williams said. "Every year I seemed to get the same stupid thing from a relative. I never used one of them." [Cindy Adams]
• Will Ferrell is going to play George W. on Broadway as a not-so-fond farewell to our 43rd President. The review will be called "You're Welcome, America: A Final Night With George W. Bush," and hits the B'way on January 20th. [NYDN]
• Eminem may keep a low profile these days, but don't worry, he's still the same old asshole. He tells Esquire, "I'm a T-shirt guy now. But wifebeaters won't go out of style, not as long as bitches keep mouthing off." [Esquire]
• Here's what Nick Cannon ex Christina Milian had to say about Cannon's marriage to Mariah Carey: “I was surprised like everyone else. I was like, ‘Really?’ It just seemed like a weird match, but I was happy for him. I always feel Nick works hard to get what he wants, whether that be women—that’s how he got me.” And then Mariah came in and shanked her with a giant enamel butterfly. [Just Jared]
• Emma Watson is worth $20 million and she still takes the subway. "I have a more normal life than people expect. When I take public transport, people are like, 'That girl looks like the girl from Harry Potter, but it can't be her on the tube.'"So then she takes out her Quidditch broomstick and shows them a thing or two. [USA Today]
• In a last ditch effort for popcultural relevancy, it looks like the new 90210 is mining an old feud for ratings: Brenda vs. Kelly. "Now that it's out that Brenda's been boinking Kelly's boyfriend Ryan (that whore!), the tension is most assuredly building up to a bona fide Kelly-Brenda smackdown." Dramz! [E! Online]
• Laura Bryan used to be married to Hootie and the Blowfish guitarist Mark Bryan. They divorced, and she just got remarried…to Hootie and the Blowfish drummer Jim Sonefeld. There's a blowfish joke to be made here but I'm not up for it this early in the morning. [WaPo]
• Tennis star Lindsay Davenport is expecting her second child. "Of course, this unexpected but exciting surprise now means I will be putting tennis on hold for the foreseeable future," Davenport says. [UPI]
• Eddie Murphy will play the Riddler in the next Batman movie alongside Christian Bale's broody hero. [Telegraph]
• 16-year-old Frances Bean Cobain is checking out a $6.5 million New York City pad. It must be said: if Courtney Love were your mother, wouldn't you want to live across the continent? [NYP]
• Though the fourth installment of the Terminator movies has not even hit screens yet, producers are already gearing up for a Terminator 5. Action hack Christian Bale is already locked in for the distant fifth Terminator movie. Let us reiterate: please drop that damn breathy hero voice Christian! We can't take you seriously when you talk like a low rent Darth Vader! [UPI]

• "I was quoted saying I was a virgin, but I absolutely did not say that. That's nobody's business but my own," the Duffster tells Maxim in the most recent issue. Let's go to the wayback machine and see what she said to Elle: "It's harder having a boyfriend who's older because people just assume. But [virginity] is definitely something I like about myself. It doesn't mean I haven't thought about sex, because everyone I know has had it and you want to fit in. But when they talk about it, it doesn't sound special, like you would imagine it to be. It just seems like everybody has slept with each other – you know what I mean?" Oh yes, we know exactly what you mean, Hils: you wanted to appeal to tweens back then, and now you're trying to have a broader audience. It's loud and clear! [NYDN]
• Madonna is contradicting longtime publicist Liz Rosenberg, who on Monday announced that Guy Ritchie will get between $76-92 million as part of the couple's divorce settlement. Madonna and Guy released a joint statement saying that Rosenberg's declaration was "misleading and inaccurate." What's more, "We have tried to maintain a dignified silence regarding the details of our divorce for the last few months whilst accepting the obvious media interest…The financial details of the settlement will remain private, save to say that both of us are happy with our agreement. Our primary concern, like any co-parents, is the care and well being of our children." Whilst! The plot thickens!! [Reuters]
• Not all of the gay community is excited about Sean Penn's portrayal of activist Harvey Milk in Milk. Advocate writer James Kirchick is pissed because Penn was palling around with notorious gay-rights abuser Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chávez as well as Raul Castro. Human Rights Foundation President Thor Halvorssen tells The Advocate, "That Sean Penn would be honored by anyone, let alone the gay community, for having stood by a dictator who put gays into concentration camps is mind-boggling."[Page Six]
• Earlier this year, Clay Aiken's bff, music producer Jaymes Foster, had a baby after being artificially inseminated with Clay's lil' dudes. Word is that they were both so thrilled with the results that Foster is going to go through another round of IVF in the hopes of having another Claybie. [Perez]
• Blind Item! "Which still-sexy actress, who has a daughter now getting ingenue roles, is facing reality? She finally had her first face-lift last week." We are guessing her name rhymes with Moosan Morandan. [Page Six]
• Does Anthony Kiedis have kidney trouble? The former heroin addict allegedly was sick enough to discuss going on a transplant list for a new kidney, but has since been on the mend.[Sun]
• Fergie (the Duchess, not the Pea) had her laptop stolen, along with intimate digital photos of her family. In addition! Poor Princess Beatrice's Norfolk Terrier, Max ran off during a walk last week in Windsor Great Park , and she's apparently "desperately upset." London Jezebels get on the case! [Daily Mail]
• "We discussed—for about a second—the idea of Tom’s having a German accent. I remember that conversation very clearly. I was in the sitting room of his house, and I basically just said, 'I don’t want to do that. You don’t want to be listening to that.'" —Valkyrie director Bryan Singer on Tom Cruise's performance. [GQ]
• Wowza: the iconic Bert Stern photos of Marilyn Monroe, taken in 1962 right before her death, sold at Christie's for $146,500. [AP]
• Singer Duffy will be the new face of Diet Coke. Says the Sun, "They want to move away from typical Diet Coke ads with stick-thin models and chiselled hunks." Does that sound sort of like a backhanded compliment? [Sun]
• Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford is still nursing her 2-year-old son Hermés. "It's an amazing bond with your child," she says, before adding, "I was thinner after my pregnancy than before, and I think a lot of it was the nursing." [Page Six]
• Will Actor's Guild negotiations tear Hollywood apart? Page Six is reporting that negotiations were tense on Monday night, with Jack Nicholson, Meryl Streep and Warren Beatty in favor of a strike, and Alec Baldwin, Tom Hanks, George Clooney, Charlize Theron, Helen Mirren and Kevin Spacey against it. [Page Six]
• Harrison Ford has signed on to play a morning show personality in the film Morning Glory, and our beloved Rachel McAdams is in talks to costar. According to the Hollywood Reporter, "Aline Brosh McKenna ("The Devil Wears Prada") wrote the script about a grizzled old-school anchor in the Ted Koppel mold (Ford) who quits in disgust with the gossip-heavy direction of the evening newscast. He is then recruited by a hot up-and-coming producer (McAdams) to help revive a morning talk show, only to be paired with his rival." [HR]
• "She was drunk! I don’t know if she was drunk when they actually got married, but the night before she was. She just needed that little push — the Patron push.”— Lo Bosworth on the Speidi nuptials. [People ]
• Oprah's taking her production company from ABC to HBO in order to start making more feature films, documentaries and TV series. [AP]
• Is Lisa Rinna going to pose for Playboy? Sources say: probs.The daytime diva has also been pitching a reality show to cable networks with husband Harry Hamlin tentatively called I Love Lisa. [Extra, MSNBC]
• Macaulay, Keiran and Rory Culkin have all taken time off their acting projects to mourn the sudden death of their sister, Dakota. As noted last week, Dakota was hit by a car in Los Angeles while crossing the street. "They're heartbroken. That I can tell you. They're just absolutely heartbroken," says the Culkin boys' manager. [UPI]
• Diddy hosted a birthday party for his ex and baby mama Kim Porter at Murano restaurant in West Hollywood. "The evening's specialty drink, the K.P. Martini, featured a Ciroc vodka lemon drop with a brown-sugar rim," E! reports. Oooh fancy. [E! Online]
• The Brangelina clan is parking in France for the time being. "I've been dragging them all from continent to continent lately, so we're going to have to give them a break soon. For the long term, right now, we're choosing France. It's good living there, a really nice way of life. It's a place where the kids can run free and not be hassled – we have a good relationship with the locals, and it's a good base for the family," Brad says. [Perez]
• Click here for an online preview of Flight of the Conchords season two premiere! Squee! [Funny or Die]
• If you have a crush on any member of Coldplay check out these behind the scenes shots of Chris Martin and the crew. [Rolling Stone]

• Pin-up legend Bettie Page has been hospitalized after a heart attack she suffered on Tuesday. The 85-year-old Page is being held in the intensive care unit, and is "critically ill." [NYTimes]

• The Pussycat Dolls are apparently "so excited" to open for Britney Spears on her Circus world tour. "The Pussycat Dolls can babysit Britney Spears' kids!" says lead singer Nicole Scherzinger. I'm sure Britney's lawyers are thrilled to hear it! [US Magazine]

• Meanwhile, Britney is having a "love-hate relationship" with her boobs. "At the moment I hate them. I want them smaller," Spears says, "I'm tempted to have a breast reduction so I can slink into some amazing stage outfits for my next set of shows. I know they look sexy but sometimes they get in the way." It's like raaaaain on your wedding day! [DailyMail]

• New details are emerging about Full House star Jodie Sweetin's divorce: Sweetin claims that her husband, Cody Herpin, never made any efforts to find employment after they were married. "Our house is in foreclosure, our water has been shut off twice. Currently, all of our other utilities are overdue," Sweetin says, "[He] kept finding one excuse after another for his failure to even attempt to find employment." The couple had reportedly been living on Sweetin's residual checks from her child stardom days. Yikes. [People]

• Tell your 12-year-old niece to stop freaking out: the Jonas Brothers like, totally aren't breaking up, you guys! [US Magazine]

• Nicole Kidman admits to being extremely attached to her baby, Sunday Rose. "I can't bear to be separate from my baby; I'm totally devoted to her," Kidman says, "Mum says I'm over-bonded with her, but I don't care." Meanwhile, Connor and Isabella Cruise are, you know, somewhere, doing something, whatever. I kid! I kid![DailyMail]

• Ouch: MSNBC has a harsh headline up regarding Beyonce's latest film: "Cadillac Records Is As Flat As A Vinyl LP." [MSNBC]

• Kandice Hutchison, a 22 year old contestant on MTV's latest reality show, Double Shot at Love was killed in a car accident "shortly after filming her last scene." [US Magazine]

• Jessica Simpson is apparently going back to her religious roots: ""I've been contemplating taking a college course in religion," Simpson says, "I love religion."[The Sun]

• A "dry run" of Jimmy Fallon's new late-night talk show will begin Monday in an online-only format. [E!]
• • Eli Stone star and ex-husband of Angelina Jolie, Jonny Lee Miller, is now the proud father of a boy named Buster Timothy. Miller's wife, Michelle Hicks, gave birth to Buster on Wednesday; it is the first child for both.[People]

  • More drama for Lindsay and Sam: an onlooker claims that Lindsay was "in tears" after a fight with Ronson that was caused by Lindsay wanting to go home and Sam wanting to stay out and party. "Sam was roaming the party and chatting with people, and Lindsay just seemed to melt down literally," the source claims. [E!]

  • Sad news: writer and editor Forrest Ackerman, who coined the term "Sci-Fi" in 1954, has died at the age of 92. [Reuters]

  • Did Coldplay rip off "Viva la Vida" from guitarist Joe Satriani? Satriani thinks so, and is suing the band as a result. [EW]

  • Audrina and JustinBobby were spotted out together, most likely having a fake conversation in a well-lit area as a generic soundtrack played in the background and mascara dripped down someone's otherwise perfectly-made-up face. [US Magazine]

  Image via PlanetBettie.

• Holy Xenu! Katie Holmes looks freakin awesome on the cover of T: The New York Times Style Magazine. She claims she is not the pawn of Tom Cruise: "There's a misperception about me that I just became this wallflower, this woman who doesn't have any control of her life. "And that's pretty wrong. From the very beginning, I've made choices in my life that have been very strong." Plus: "When I met Tom I was completely in love and, yes, I admired him growing up — he's Tom Cruise! When I met him, he was so warm and I thought, Wow! You can be a superstar and a human being. He made me feel so amazing." [People]
• Another glamorous shot of Katie, and one of Tom Cruise, from T Magazine. [Pop Sugar]
• Amy Winehouse has "escaped" from her hospital bed and went to a recording studio and a friend's house before returning to the hospital "in the early hours." Sneaky! [The Sun]
• Alex Rodriguez speaks! About his relationship with Madonna! "We're friends – that's it. I've been to two [of her] concerts, yet I've read that I went to 20. I've also read that we were buying an apartment together. That is absolutely ridiculous and not true." [People]

• ¡Caliente! Rumor has it Shakira will perform at Barack Obama's inauguration in January. [Perez Hilton]
• Boy George: Found guilty! He falsely imprisoned a Norwegian male escort after a nude photoshoot, and will be sentenced January 16. [Yahoo News, Mirror,
• The escort told the court that Boy George yelled at him: "Fucking whore! Now you're going to get what you deserve." Guardian]
• Apparently Jennifer Aniston went on Oprah and talked about an Obama cake that she'd made? John Mayer says: "Jen and I made that cake together. She didn't really give me any credit for that cake. I was the architect on that cake. I put a lot of my time in designing that cake. I was a good man. I shared the process. From mixing to frosting….[she] took all the credit." He adds what seems to be a lame joke: "There's some trouble but we're getting over it…We're having therapy everyday in Brentwood…and we're figuring this out because that was my time to shine on Oprah." [Perez Hilton]
• Speaking of Oprah: Contrary to reports, her show may not end in 2011. "I'm not done!" she says. "I'm a very multi-dimensional woman. I can do a show. I can have OWN [the Oprah Winfrey Network]. I can have a magazine. I can do radio." You tell 'em! [UPI]
• Beyoncé's on the cover of Elle and admits that having a kid scares the crap out of her: "I'm terrified of having a child," she says. m terrified of delivering a child because I saw my nephew being born. That traumatized me. I'm only 27. I've got time." [People]
• Jennifer Hudson, who has been in seclusion since members of her family were killed, was nominated for four Grammys on Wednesday. She says: "It's been a childhood dream of mine to release an album, so to receive four Grammy nominations is truly a blessing. I am extremely honored and humbled by the nominations." [AP]
• George Clooney has a crush on a waitress. Also: The sky is blue. [The Sun]
• By the by, Clooney just raised £10 million for the victims of Darfur at a fancy London party. Guests included Matt Damon, Scarlett Johansson, Cindy Crawford, Sarah Ferguson, Bono and Guy Ritchie. [Daily Mail]
• Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes movie is disrupting residents of one street in London, and they want to reduce the number of days he can shoot there. They'd also love it if Guy would give them some cash. [Daily Express]
• Kate Moss is throwing a party to announce that she is pregnant?!? [ONTD]
• David Duchovny and Tea Leoni were spotted taking their kids out for frozen yogurt in New York and being lovey-dovey. It seems they may move into a new apartment together this month and are "working on" their relationship. [Star]
• If you care to see the impossibly sunny, blonde, annoying pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt on their honeymoon, go ahead and click, you will not be judged. [Just Jared]
• Spencer is pissed that Heidi's mom is "furious" about the wedding and says he won't visit the in-laws for the holidays: "After that statement, the Pratts, as in Heidi Pratt and Spencer Pratt, will probably have their own Christmas tree out here," he says. Of course, all of this seems to be part of the "script" for The Hills. So. [E!]
• Shia LaBeouf had to drop out of a new film because "his hand is totally shattered, it’s much worse than anyone thought." He needs more surgery, you guys. [Fox 411]
• Was The House Bunny a hit? Anna Faris is "capitalizing" on it by lining up two new projects; a female buddy comedy and a romantic comedy. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Amy Adams will star in the film adaptation of the novel The Ten Best Days Of My Life, about a woman who dies and goes to heaven, but has to prove her worth by recounting her 10 best days. [Variety]
• The National Board of Review has named Anne Hathaway 2008's best actress for Rachel Getting Married; Slumdog Millionaire was best picture. [People]
• No one wants to live in the SoHo loft where Heath Ledger died. Even if you have $26,000 a month, you can't rent it now — it's temporarily off the market. [TMZ, Page Six]
• Heather Locklear was on The Tonight Show and admitted that she had a tough year. But! She has a sense of humor about her pill-popping DUI bust. "I've been better, but I'm good today," she said. And when Jay Leno asked if she would have done differently this year, she joked: "I would have stayed in my house." [People]
• Grey's Anatomy fans can find out a big secret about Denny's "afterlife love affair with Izzie" by clicking this link. [EW]
• Blythe Danner made oral sex jokes at a cocktail reception in honor of the Bruce Paltrow Oral Cancer fund. She lost her husband to the disease six years ago. [WWD]
• Miley Cyrus is not divorcing her parents, but if she did, it would be a lot easier for the 16-year-old to date a 20-year-old underwear model. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Jim Carrey, Spike Lee, Amy Poehler, Twilight's Kristen Stewart, Richard Gere, Zooey Deschanel, and Ashton Kutcher are among the stars with flicks in the Sundance Film Festival. Will there be a breakout indie hit this year? [USA Today]
• Former SNL star Rachel Dratch is in a musical, and it might go to Broadway. "It's about a burlesque club the cops are trying to shut down," she says. "It has crazy burlesque dancing and clever dance numbers. I'm not in them, I just watch." [NY Mag]
• Cops are looking for 2 people in the shooting of Mark Ruffalo's brother, though a motive has not been released. [AP]
• Bob Dylan's room at the famed Chelsea Hotel in New York: Destroyed. Sledgehammered and ripped up, in the name of renovations. [Gothamist]
• Someone is suing Dixie Chicks singer Natalie Maines for defamation, and it has to do with the 1993 murders of three boys. [AP]
• Kathy Griffin tried to smooth things over with Clay Aiken, whom she called Gayken in her standup act, way before he came out, and she claims: "I would have to say he was not very nice." [E!]
• Some dumb paparazzi asked Robin Williams' daughter Zelda why her dad wasn't partying with her: "You don't take an alcoholic out to a club," she explained. Also, why would she be clubbing with her dad? [TMZ]
• Rocker Joe Satriani is suing Coldplay, accusing the band of plagiarizing one of his songs. [Yahoo News]
• David Hasselhoff's ex wife: Kicked out of the Hoff's house. By a judge. [TMZ]
• The Real World: Brooklyn is coming to MTV January 7th. The "strangers" living in the house are an Iraq war veteran, a former beauty queen, a hip hop dancing hippie, a punk rock Mormon, a dolphin trainer, a computer geek, an abs model and an advocate for victims of abuse. Good luck! [MTV.com]
• Not a joke: Pete Doherty will replace Pete Townshend in The Who. For one night only. For charity. [The Sun]
• Did you know that before Madonna was cast in Evita, Michelle Pfeiffer had the role? Click to hear her sing some demo tracks. [ONTD]
• Erik Estrada must love being, not just playing a cop: He'll be working the night shift at the Muncie Police Department in Indiana this week. [USA Today]
• UK's Channel 4 is poking fun at the death of Princess Diana? [Daily Mail]
• RIP Paul Benedict, also known as Bentley from The Jeffersons. [AP]
• "I was separated from my dad for most of my life, but we forgave each other for whatever had happened. It’s huge for me. He’s been the most supportive dad. No matter what has happened, he’s always been there. And especially right now - he’s been so great. He really helped me out." — Evan Rachel Wood, who reunited with her father over Thanksgiving. [Perez Hilton]
• "I knew I wanted to marry Kate when I met her. After our very first date, I was sure. At one point, I thought she was going to ask me to marry her first and I cut her off by changing the subject. I wanted to ask her." — Tom Cruise in T: The New York Times Style Magazine. [People]
• "I've been recording in between periods of romantic torture, which is the concept of this album. Writing these songs has been my saving grace. I have felt in the past like a marionette. This album is my freedom. When you're in love, you've found your soul mate, you think life is going one way, and suddenly it's completely apparent it's not. You have to rethink your whole purpose." — Scott Weiland on his solo album, Happy In Galoshes. [USA Today]
• "Our behaviour is changing. Look at how we re-use and recycle. I want to see people at movie premieres wearing outfits they’ve had for 10 years." — Sigourney Weaver, on how Hollywood can cope with the economic crisis. [Daily Express]

• Less than six months after giving birth to daughter Honor, Jessica Alba is is pimping Campari in her skivvies. [People]
• First he loses the prestigious Sexiest Man Alive designation to Hugh Jackman, and now George Clooney is allegedly miffed because he wanted to direct Frost/Nixon but the honor went to Ron Howard. Frost/Nixon scribe Peter Morgan says, "I expect I will spend the rest of my life making amends to him - and my wife - and to everybody about my decision. Now I will never have him ringing me again, asking to do my work." [Daily Express]
• Kanye West has "taken a very public fancy" to "glamour model" Sophie Howard. Howard, 25, won Loaded's Most Beautiful Breasts poll. She does sound like a winner. [Mirror]

• Coldplay had iTunes best selling album of the year. Viva la Vida sold 500,000 copies through iTunes, keeping Gwyneth knee deep in Goop until at least 2010. [Independent]
• Speaking of Coldplay, apparently Chris Martin downs vitamins with Jameson's before going on stage. "At least a dozen pill bottles litter the floor next to Martin's yoga mat," according to Rolling Stone. What if he OD's on fish oil? Think of the children! [Rolling Stone]
• Oprah received $5 million for her South African girls school from a fervent McCain supporter, Dallas billionaire Harold Simmons. Sure, Simmons donated a lot of cash to the Swift Boat Veterans, but that doesn't mean his money can't buy books for poor kids. Fox News is painting this as hypocrisy on Oprah's part, but is it really? [Fox News]
• Remember that bar brawl that Josh Brolin and Jeffery Wright got into in July down in Louisiana? Well they're seemingly settling out of court and will likely avoid having to trek down to Shreveport to deal with it. [E! via Yahoo]
• Elvis Costello is still pissed that filmmaker Jared Hess co-opted his "Napoleon Dynamite" alter ego without attribution. "The guy just denies completely that I made the name up... but I invented it," Costello tells Spin. "Maybe somebody told him the name and he truly feels that he came about it by chance. But it's two words that you're never going to hear together." [Daily Express]
• Notorious tree hugger Daryl Hannah has joined an anti-whaling mission in Australia to "pursue Japan's Antarctic whaling fleet." Sounds swashbuckling! [Daily Mail]
• Mischa Barton's nekkid scene in Closing the Ring was named top boobie flash of the year. What an honor! [Daily Express]
• Kate Winslet is another actress who has no problem with nude scenes. "Every time I've been asked to do nudity on screen, I've always believed in the scene," sayeth Kate. "I think it's important that women on screen are portrayed as real women. I'm comfortable in my own skin and I'm comfortable with all the imperfections that I have." [People]
• John Mayer has found his inner domestic diva: he's really into baking cakes now. Does this mean he's a cake boy? [The Sun]
• A mere 3.9 million tuned in to watch Britney: On the Record, a number which falls far short of MTV's expectations. According to Perez, "Tila Tequila's season one finale of A Shot At Love scored 6 million viewers." Ouchie. [Perez]
• M.I.A. says pregnancy makes her more mellow. "When I sing, I have to be aware that someone can hear me inside…It's really strange. I definitely feel less angry." [People]
• In other pregnant lady news, hot Brit chef Jamie Oliver says his wife Jools has some bonkers cravings now that she is with bebe: "She’s basically an eating machine. Jools has gone mad on retro foods like fish paste and Marmite – stuff from her childhood. She dips bananas in Marmite! She even gets hot water bottles to chew on the rubber. It’s weird!" [Mirror]
• Patrick Swayze is striking back at tabloids reporting that he's on death's door. "It's upsetting that the shoddy and reckless reporting from these publications cast a negative shadow on the positive and good fight I'm fighting. For me, my family, and those close to me, it amounts to downright emotional cruelty. That makes me angry when hope is so precious," the Swayze says. [People]

• Cloris Leachman was booted off of Dancing With The Stars. "I'm not leaving," she said. "I'm going to get a pretty costume and be here next week. I'm going to sit over there. I can't go home. Are you serious? This is a joke." [UPI]
• Despite at first being told she was too old, Cloris might be Frau Blucher in Young Frankenstein on Broadway! Producer Mel Brooks originally told her she didn't have the "stamina" and said "We're afraid the show could kill [Leachman]. We don't want her to die onstage." [Page Six]
• Dina Lohan on Dancing With The Stars? Just the kind of trainwreckery this country needs. [New York Mag]
• Speaking of Lohans, Lindsay's former bodyguard has settled a lawsuit he filed against her. [TMZ]
• This report claims that Lindsay has lost 14 pounds and is "thinner than ever." Really? She doesn't look the way she did when she was hanging with Nic Rich back in the day. [Boston.com]
• By the by, Dina Lohan calls the reports of a Lindsay/America Ferrera feud on the set of Ugly Betty "just silly." She says: "America's a doll. And they said [Lindsay] brought a posse. It was my mother and myself, and [sister] Ali. It was not a posse. We had sushi and no one trashed the room." Dina does admit: "It was long hours and when you're on a movie set it's a lot different. She's not used to television, but it was fun." [People]
• Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan in a sitcom together??? Sign, apocalypse. [News.com.au]

• BREAKING: Joaquin Phoenix is retiring from show biz. He will be working on his music now. [Extra]
• Here is a photograph of David Beckham ogling cheerleaders. (Again.) [The Sun]
• Is Angelina Jolie "burning up with jealousy" over Brad Pitt's Inglourious Basterds costar, Diane Kruger? She did star with him in Troy. [Star]
• Keanu Reeves and the paparazzo who's suing him took turns on the witness stand yesterday. Reeves told jurors he moved his car forward very slowly to try and get the photog to move out of the way, but never hit him; the photog testified the opposite, saying the car hit his knee. [AP]
• Did Madonna and Guy Ritchie have a marriage contract? In which he promised not to shout at his wife and to devote time to sex? [Daily Mail]
• Madonna has allegedly offered Guy £20million. Of her £300million fortune. Pennies! [Daily Express]
• Hey, look, Guy Ritchie's flick RocknRolla got a good review! [Yahoo News]
• When Angelina Jolie showed up at Monday night's Hollywood Film Festival Awards Gala — where she payed tribute to director Clint Eastwood — it was a total surprise. The A-list crowd reportedly "gasped audibly" when she was introduced. [People]
• At Mary-Kate and Ashley's book signing, there were incredibly elaborate rules one had to abide by, or else! [Racked]
• Here's a liveblog of the book signing. "The paparazzi are shouting 'Mary-Kate!' and 'Ashley!' and people are freaking out." [Racked]
• Oh, and there were PETA protesters outside the book signing, with signs calling the twins "fur hags from hell." [Page Six]
• Watch Britney Spears work out! Warning: Incredibly dull video of Brit repeatedly lifting weights. [MollyGood]
• Amy Poehler will not be replaced on the SNL "Weekend Update" segments; Seth Meyers will go it alone for a while. Because Amy cannot be replaced! [ET]
• First we heard that Julianne Hough from Dancing With The Stars went to the hospital for unknown reasons. Then we heard it was her appendix. Now she reveals it was something more personal, but her managers wanted her to lie. "It turned out I ruptured a cyst that was on my ovary. My management and the other people around me were trying to think of something else I could say that was wrong with me, but I was like, don't worry. I want to be a good role model." [TMZ]
• Julianne says: "I didn’t know but I have endometriosis. I’ve apparently had it for a long time because I’ve had this pain for about the last five years. I’m just glad I’m taking care of it now because I want to have babies some day." [People]
• Check out Bjork's well-written column about Iceland's financial meltdown. [Times of London]
• Daniel Craig jokes that if the economy's bad, glamorous locations could be dropped from Bond films. "There are plenty of places we could shoot in the British Isles," he says. "If the credit crunch hits the movie business, who knows? Bond in the Lake District, Liverpool… or Birmingham." [Telegraph]
• The case against William Balfour, the primary suspect in the murder of Jennifer Hudson's family, is building quickly. His alibi is falling apart and he was seen carrying a bottle of liquor Friday. [TMZ]
• William Balfour is a felon; he was busted in June for a "rock of cocaine" and served time for a 1999 attempted murder and vehicular hijacking conviction. [AP]
• Jennifer Hudson and her mom were "very close, very tight." Jennifer's mom hosted a block party for the whole neighborhood a few months ago. Jennifer wanted her to move, but, a neighbor says: "She didn't need a bigger house. She didn't need anyone to buy her a new car. She didn't desire or want those things. She was just supportive and stood by her daughter." [People]
• Jennifer Hudson's sister Julia writes on her MySpace: Thank you for your prayers, thank you for posting his picture on your pages as your default picture, thank you… But his lil soul is at ease, I take comfort in knowing that Julian is with my mother and my brother and most of all The Lord and now he's my angel he's protecting me…" [Perez Hilton]
• Rosie O'Donnell on Jennifer Hudson's awful ordeal: "The family tragedy of Jennifer Hudson — no words will do — a grief too hard to comprehend. Guns and domestic violence are a lethal combination — injuring and killing women every day in the United States. A gun is the weapon most commonly used in domestic homicides. In fact, more than three times as many women are murdered by guns used by their husbands or intimate acquaintances than are killed by strangers' guns, knives or other weapons combined. Contrary to many public perceptions, many women who are murdered are killed not by strangers but by men they know." [UPI]
• Coldplay dedicated a song to Jennifer Hudson at a concert in NJ on Monday night. [Perez Hilton]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets more death threats than anyone else on The View, says Whoopi Goldberg. Well, no one wants to see anything happen to Joy! [Page Six]
• Jerry "Turtle" Ferrera and Jamie Lynn Sigler — Meadow from The Sopranos: It's on. [Perez Hilton]
• Peter Andre, husband of Kate "Jordan" Price, is in L.A. Alone. Don't know what it means. [The Sun]
• Poor Paris Hilton. She used to get paid to show up at clubs, sometimes $100,000 "appearance fee." The recession has dropped the sum she can get to $40K or less. Tragic! [Daily Mail]
• An Austrian woman allegedly sent more than 100 letters to CSI: Miami star David Caruso, stalked him, asked him for an autograph, and then sent death threats when he refused to give her one. Authorities are looking for her; they've got an international arrest warrant, and officials said she could be hiding in Mexico. Very Special Episode? [Yahoo News]
• Hmm, Hairspray 2? John Waters is in; John Travolta's not. [Perez Hilton]
• Lauryn Hill was spotted taking her kids to see Martha Stewart at a Williams Sonoma store in New Jersey. [Perez Hilton]
• This article states, "A Canadian mathematics professor says he's used his science to solve mysteries about how the Beatles created two unique musical sounds." Someone has a lot of time on his hands! [UPI]
• Headline of the day: "AC/DC blamed for dark economic times in Britain." [News.com.au]
• On the heels of 90210, next comes Melrose Place. Would Heather Locklear come back? [LA Times]
• Half nekkid pix Naomi Campbell at an art show. [Page Six]
• "The thing that gets me the most about this country is that it’s called a “free country” but everyone is a slave to their car. From my place I can walk to my loft, but nobody walks here, everyone has a car. If I walked down there in the evening, I’d be stopped three or four times by someone who thinks I’m a prostitute, inviting me to get in their car. This is why I left the States when I was 22. I saw that I was going to be trapped into buying a car so I could get to work so I could pay for my car, and I thought, that’s not for me. " — Chrissie Hynde. [BlackBook]
• "I didn't come across too well either in the majority of reviews and even with the audiences — people did not respond to it. It was a film that was made to be seen by many people. Not many people saw it and they weren't particularly fond of it, and that was shitty, it was really shitty." — Colin Farrell, on Alexander. [Reuters]
• "Bernie and I were pals. We've known each other for a long time and we had a great relationship… If you had to pick a perfect way to be remembered for an artist, especially a guy like Bernie — the joy that this film has in it, and the kind of love and adoration that people had for him, and the kind of joy he brought people is evident in this film. [The audience] will discover that he can do things that they didn't know he could do, like sing, dance and carry this dramatic arc. I'm always finishing films and looking forward to seeing them, and I know Bernie didn't see this movie. It's kind of like 'wow.' " — Samuel L. Jackson, on Soul Men, Bernie Mac's last film. CNN]
• "I watched kids of differing physical abilities and different backgrounds from around the world lose themselves in imagination and make believe. And I was moved to tears. All I can tell you is that I cried like a baby. I couldn't stop crying." — Mike Myers, on performing at Rusk Institute in The Bronx with Only Make Believe, a theater charity group that puts on plays for young children in hospitals and care facilities. [People]
• "I like to wear formfitting things because I work very hard to keep my gorgeous figure. I’m very happy to show it off and I honestly go to the women’s department often because I know I’ll find very interesting patterns and formfitting clothes. It’s an old rock ’n’ roll trick for guys to shop in the girl’s section. I’ve recently gotten some great things at Miss Sixty, Betsey Johnson and G-Star. In the women’s department, I go for size large and in men’s, I go for small." — Perry Farrell. [BlackBook]
• "For Halloween, I'm going to look like a normal girl, put some bronzer on, some spray tan on and wear some jeans. People will ask me where my costume is! I would never do this in normal life, that's why I'll do it at Halloween. It's a bit funny and people think I'm not wearing a costume but I really am." — Dita Von Teese. [ONTD]
• "How do you nurture a positive attitude when all the statistics say you’re a dead man? You go to work." — Patrick Swayze. [NY Times]
• "I feel like I’m a pretty normal 22-year-old. An actor friend told me the best way to deal with attention is to exist in the 3 feet around you when you’re out with friends — you can’t be worried about people watching you." — Lauren Conrad [Cosmopolitan]

• [Mariah Carey] is very happy. I've spoken with her and she is superb. She is over the moon. I received an email from her [Monday] and she is so happy. She really sounds like someone on her honeymoon." — Andre Leon Talley. Talley also says the wedding happened so quickly he "didn't have the time to offer her any style tips!" Underminer. [People]
  
• Britney Spears' progress impressed the court yesterday. She will now get three days of supervised visitation a week; within a month she should get overnight visits. Stay the course, girl! [TMZ]
  
• Lindsay Lohan has another job! She'll star in Labor Pains, a comedy about a young woman who pretends to be pregnant to avoid being fired. Yay for her; boo for another damn knocked up movie. Is that all women are good for? [Page Six]

• Liv Tyler didn't wear her wedding ring to the Costume Institute Gala. Add this to the sad stuff in the last Midweek Madness about getting married too young and hubby Royston Langdon being a leech on her assets, and you gotta wonder... [Rush & Molloy]
• Scarlett Johansson, however, did have a ring on her finger: The rock Ryan Reynolds gave her. [Rush & Molloy]
• Denise Richards knew her marriage to Charlie Sheen wasn't going to work when he accused Richards of poisoning their daughter with a vaccination. Yeah, I don't know. [Page Six]
• Nicky Hilton cut the buffet line at Diddy's party. "Everyone behind her rolled their eyes," says a source. [Rush & Molloy]
• Robin Williams has pledged to keep his divorce civil. Good for him! Boring for us. [People]
• Ryan Seacrest may be replacing Larry King??? Sources say he will take over Larry King Live at the end of the year. "He's the classic generalist," King says. "The only thing I don't know, and I've gotten to know him pretty well, is how versed he is in politics, world affairs. Does he read the paper? Is he interested in Iraq? Because if he is, he's going to be very good." Haha, Iraq. Raise your hand if you think Seacrest knows where it is. [MSNBC]
• Mary-Kate Olsen was submitted by Showtime as "Best Guest Actress in a Comedy Series" for her role on Weeds. She could win an Emmy! [MSNBC]
• Pete Doherty left prison with a certificate proclaiming him drug-free. (He may have made the certificate himself.) He told reporters: "I made a few friends in there and the food was all right. I can't wait to have a rum and coke. I've missed the little things like girls and cats." [Mirror]
• Terri Irwin, widow of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin, has settled a lawsuit with creditors who claimed the zoo owed them $2.3 million. [Yahoo News]
• If you thought the Gwyneth Paltrow Vogue cover was PhotoShopped, wait till you see the GQ bobblehead cover. [PsD]
• Ugly Betty is moving to New York! I've always hated the fake-ass "Manhattan" streets they use, which are so clearly a Hollywood lot. Now New Yorkers will have Wilhelmina, Marc and Amanda sightings! [LA Times]
• So, you know the rumor that Mr. Big dies in the Sex And The City movie? Director Michael Patrick King says: "Kill Mr. Big? I would have been chased around the planet by women with torches. It's a summer movie. Why would I want to kill anyone?" [CNN]
• The new Coldplay album will be a rainbow! "Each song is our attempt to do a different colour," says Chris Martin. "It doesn't matter whether the record is good or bad. It matters that it's colourful. The songs are supposed to be flavours, things we haven't tasted before." Um, good to know. [The Sun]
• Rosie O'Donnell responded to the interview Barbara Walters gave on Oprah, saying, "I love her." [People]
• Harry Potter author JK Rowling has won her battle to ban the publication of a long-lens photograph of her son in a privacy case. One of the judges explained: "If a child of parents who are not in the public eye could reasonably expect not to have photographs of him published in the media, so too should the child of a famous parent." [Reuters]

• OMG: Rachel Zoe has been disinvited from the Anna Wintour-hosted Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute Gala, taking place Monday night in New York. This is what you get when you tempt the gods and proclaim yourself more important than Vogue. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Also, Wintour has instructed Vogue staffers that they may only wear white, silver, or other "pale shades." Just like the colors of faces that she likes to see on her magazine's cover! [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• French Vogue editor-in-chief Carine Roitfeld and designer/Chanel creative director "Krazy" Karl Lagerfeld were both named to the Time 100 List, as influential members of the fashion community. Something about the way they both made fashion about "the street" or something. [Vogue UK]
  
• Gisele Bundchen is still the top-paid model, according to Forbes. Heidi Klum is the second. Take that, Moss. [Sassybella]

• Agyness Deyn: The mannequin. [BlackBook]
• The Rogan for Target collection is also going to be sold at Barneys. Which is not Target at all. [WSJ]
• Steve & Barry's is going to be shilling Sex and the City movie merchandise, which will be licensed for the store under Sarah Jessica Parker's "Bitten" label. [Sassybella]
• Uh oh: Seems the women behind the red carpet label Marchesa are having a bit of a tiff. While Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig used to be knows as the label's "co-designers", their titles have been changed on their website: Chapman is now listed as "designer" and Craig is noted as "co-founder." [Page Six]
• Dockers: Trying to reach out to the hip and the young. LOL. [MediaPost]
• Christian Siriano: Designed a dress for Puma. [Chic Report]
• Helena Christensen on why she loves photographer Peter Lindbergh: "Even when I looked pretty funny back in the day with my baby fat, perm, and hippie clothes, he put me on the cover of British Vogue!" Oh, models. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The latest beauty tool you didn't know you needed: An eyelash comb. [BellaSugar]
• The Versace resort in Dubai is... sorta exactly what you would expect a Versace resort in Dubai to be. [Chic Report]
• Diane von Furstenberg, Dolce & Gabbana, Oscar de la Renta, Akira Isogawa, the members of Coldplay, Jeff Koons, Philippe Starck and Tory Burch have all been asked to create "themes" for iGoogle's new customized homepage thingies. [Sassybella]
• Vanessa Paradis: The new face of Miu Miu? [Glaumrama]
• Calvin Klein went on a little field trip to Dubai last week. Blah blah, models behind plexiglass. The usual. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Jones New York: Stock is up, profits are down. The usual. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Kohl's: Gonna slow down its expansion plan 'cause their scared of the economy. The usual. [WWD, sub req'd]
• If you want to wear a pantsuit, make sure it's not double-breasted. [WSJ]
• Blue's Clues's: The shoes — at a Payless near you. [BrandWeek]