Jezebel

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New York, 12:26 PM
Wed Dec 23
68 posts in the last 24 hours

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posts about #porn more →
Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
Cow Licks "Tasty" House, Homeowner Complains • Sarah Palin Says Kids Must "Obey"
"Pornography Hasn't Changed Their Perception Of Women": A Porn Study's (Very) Limited Findings
Researcher Refutes Demonization Of Pornography
Vagina Masks, Four-Handed Women, And The Pitfalls Of Sex Writing
"For Me, Pornography Is Performing": Sasha Grey On Sex, Work, Communication
On Leaving Porn, Smiling.
Dugard, Prejean, Suleman: The Pornification Of Inadvertently Famous Women
Oprah Discovers Porn, Jenna Jameson
Even Wild Horses Need Their Girlfriends • Fire Turns Irwin Land Into An "Animal Graveyard"
Porn 2.0: We Click, Therefore We Get Off
Do We Need To Be Told How To Have Sex?
Assablanca, Schindler's Fist, & More
How Hugh Hefner Changed The World
Mackenzie: Hot, Steamy, Scrumptious Food Porn
Christie Hefner: "Liberal Feminist," Capitalist Porn-Monger, Or Both?
When Nudity Is "Fashion"
Book: Michael Jackson Was Gay, A Bottom, And Had Progressive Views On Porn
Porn Identity
Man Charged Under "Extreme Pornography" Law

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Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini
12/17/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
I watched my mother be torn apart and embarrassed by my father's hard porn addiction and know that they did not have sex for the last decade before he died, because she was too mortified and he refused to stop. It was really sad and I wish my dad would have gotten help from people like this who aren't afraid to say, yes this can be a problem and if your relationship with porn is hurting your human relationships, you do need to seek help. From what I know of them, they seem like people who genuinely want to help people have a real problem with porn and are willing to be that support system.

Me and my husband, on the other hand, love having sex with each other, but we have wildly divergent schedules, so when I'm in the mood, he's usually sleeping or at work and vice versa. If my husband is not available, I watch a little porn, rub one or two and call it a night. Same thing with him. Of course he is my first choice and I love our sexy fun together, but it's not realistic to believe that we'll always be hot and ready at the same time and being sexually frustrated is super distracting.

I guess my point is that most people can use porn to help release frustration without having it interfere with their relationships or expectations. However, there ARE some people that do hurt themselves and others with their porn habits and it's dishonest not to acknowledge that. They need love and support to get past their problem, and within the Christian belief structure, here is a support system for that. I see no reason to mock them for their efforts any more than Christian drug addiction counselors.
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BytheSea
12/17/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
I couldn't get through all five minutes of this.

Did he spooge the bible? That's the direction the vid seemed to be going. Kid's got a sick sick bible-wanking fetish. He's just covered in tiny paper cuts down there and he's got bookworms in his pubes.
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Faster Pussycat
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
Who would have thought that her husband would become sexually disinterested in this piece of work?

I am really disappointed that this was quoted without comment on Jezebel.
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yvanehtnioj
12/17/09

@Faster.Pussycat: I think there's an implication that this is an obnoxious quote, but I totally agree that this should've been roundly condemned / more fully explored.
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WanderlustingIngenue
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
That is his accountability partner, for those who don't understand the significance of the friend. I remember them encouraging us to have those in youth group, and we were much too mortified.
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Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini promoted this comment

thecounterspark
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
Hi, I feel like I have to speak up on this. I am a proud feminist, and I am a christian. the founder of XXX church did a guest sermon at our church in new york city this past fall. it was "judge-y" or "anti-sex" at all. it was a very sound message about their ministry. it celebrated sex and condemned the hurt, pain and addiction that porn can bring into lives. porn has torn apart my marriage, and with the xxx church's program online, we have rebuilt trust, our sex life has become soooooo much more amazing, and my husband doesnt feel plagued by the guilt he had before. which was many things: knowing that I wasn't ok with it; that he supported an industry that objectifies, hurts, and trafficks women; that he was supporting an industry that created unrealistic standards for women and enforces ridiculous stereotypes; that it was hurting our own intimacy and sex life. i am thankful for XXX church. it saved us. the message was progressive and real. I would hope that real "progressives" would support something like this, and research it themselves, instead of just saying "oh lol it's from those jesus people and it's anti-porn it must be more fundamentalist anti-sex bullshit!". actually, no. and the fact that i have met and come across so many feminists and "progressives" that automatically play that card really disappoints me :(
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shorty63136 approved this comment thecounterspark was starred thecounterspark was unstarred

shorty63136
12/16/09

@thecounterspark: Thanks for your comments. I - also a feminist and a Christian...not church-y, but a Christian nonetheless - do get a little sick of the anti-Christianity stories that pop up on here from time to time. Every religion - including Judaism and Islam - has their range of beliefs and believers from the ultra mellow (I would fall in that category) to the really conservative to the batshit crazy.

I think everybody's got a choice - if you're an adult and choose to believe that porn isn't something you should be into (for whatever reason - whether it be b/c of Christ or Allah or whatever), that's totally your choice...key word: choice. We're all free moral agents, whether we've got a spiritual life or not. You get a choice to believe what you want and act accordingly.

This Sunday, I'll go to church - then I'm gonna have some Cuban food, a few beers, and smoke the hookah with my mates. Porn may or may not be part of my day - depends on if any redheads are involved.
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Wonder4A
12/16/09

@thecounterspark: Thanks for posting this! I am feminist and Christian as well and I agree 100%. Brave of you to share your personal story. I'm unmarried but several of my past boyfriends have had serious struggles with porn and it definitely affected their physical and emotional relationships with women. When I first heard about xxx church, I was excited that someone was addressing the issue. I feel the church has a tendency to sweep issues like this under the rug. Triple X church is a much welcome change in my book.
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thecounterspark
12/17/09

@shorty63136: Thanks. i love jezebel so much but get soooo frustrated when there are post so obviously anti-faith and anti-religion. here i am thinking all the time that feminism is about choice, and i find so many inexcusable attacks against my religion. I understand that there are many feminist critiques against fundamentalist religions.. but seriously, why the disparaging sarcastic posts? why cant we have a discussion about porn, religion, sexuality, feminism and life without it bashing christian/religious organizations, esp. when the only commentary that is quoted is sarcastic, demeaning and completely utterly skewed in a world view that is "anything that says the word 'god' automatically denotes 'bad' and anti-sex'"

the ignorance and prejudicialness of this post astound me.

there is a LOT wrong with porn. religious, atheist, agnostic whatever, as feminists we can agree that trying to solve this porn destruction that causes so much body-hate, and puts so much strain on marriages can be recognized...i mean... we can agree on that right? or am i a "bad" feminist for being a christian and identifying first hand the negative consequences of porn? feminists discredit my religion so much already, i'd feel even worse being excluded from a movement I identify with (feminism) just because i am against porn and think xxxchurch saved my marriage.
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thecounterspark
12/17/09

@Wonder4A: I was so excited too, when I heard xxxchurch was coming to our area. My fiance' and I, at the time, had struggled with his pornography addiction for a while. and though the mainstream feminist collective thought I had been reading had basically taught me "well as long as it's not underage and not taking away from much of your relationship then its totally healthy and fine!"....I knew I felt differently. Everytime my husband/fiance' looked at porn... I felt betrayed. I'm not ridiculous or insecure or petty. These are real emotions. It is a betrayal to me. It is lust. Porn creates this fantasy that we, real women, cant live up to. and exploits and demeans and makes sex worthless. the more that young men are socialized with sex on the basis of porn, the less the chance they have at sustaining a healthy, rational, loving relationnships with a real woman. Porn takes away my husband from me. It CAN BE and IS an addiction. I wish people would stop making excuses for it's existence. the only reason it exists is straight from patriarchy, domination, sexism, etc.

the truly liberated are those who know love/sexual fufillment without the justification of using/exploiting others.
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thecounterspark
12/17/09

@shorty63136: Yeah, exactly. I was just very upset with the voice and connotation of this very anti-religion, intolerant and mocking "journalism investigation". it was highly offensive. I feel that because I know the organization, and it has personally helped me, and porn has personally affected my life and relationship, that I should speak up on the org's behalf - to give another view and share my story.

everyone has a choice. I choose not to support the porn industry. and if people ask my why, I will give my opinions. but it seems that if you have an opinion on porn that isn't "porn for everyone yay!" then it is automatically intolerant, jugdmental etc. which is highly erroneous and unfair.
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LaComtesse
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
That video could have been 30 seconds and gotten its point across (and it would have been more effective, too).
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RenoMartini
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
Maybe by "12-year-old girl struggling against porn written while crying with alcohol and a bottle of sleeping pills in front of her, because Satan now gives her nightmares," they meant:

"30 year old struggling against her computer because babeland is uploading too slowly, and she's sobbing into her gin and tonic and calling her PC 'Satan,' because going one more week without her Hitachi will result in the death of someone,"

If so then yes, that statement was correct.
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Jenloveshercurves
12/16/09

@RenoMartini: 27 year old who is crying into her cup of tea and midol who is calling her 3 inch bullet vibrator Satan because she's blown the motor on the third one in six months just when she needs to relief from her horrible nasty mind numbing cramps? Would also be correct.
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Kerplunky
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
If the kid in that video keeps looking at porn with Internet Explorer he'll soon have a lot more problems that another "lonely night."

Not that I've ever gotten viruses and malware from that or anything. Nope. Never.
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Ultraprison! promoted this comment Kerplunky was starred Kerplunky was unstarred

shorty63136
12/16/09

@Kerplunky: Firefox is like the Trojan condom for that kind of thing. Still possible to get something but a hell of a lot less likely unless you completely use it wrong.
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Kerplunky
12/17/09

@shorty63136: Oh, definitely. I learned my lesson freshman year of college when I had to sheepishly take my laptop to campus IT. They got rid of all the mess mucking up my computer and introduced me to the wonders of Firefox.
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bookling
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
Wasn't this the group that was in the MTV True Life episode on sex addiction? That the Christian guy with the wife and kids was seeking help from?
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midwestmarge
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
Ha ha! I dated him briefly in the 80s. I didn't know he'd gone national.
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Jenloveshercurves
12/16/09

@midwestmarge: Do tell? Are you the reason he associates Satan with sex? Oh goodness, I hope so! I'm now referring to you as you little demon you!
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wilderness
12/16/09

@midwestmarge: Haha, Harmon is my cousin. It's a small world, really.
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merely_a_muse
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
Confession: I read this blurb like six times before I realized it said "Satan" & not "Santa" is a pimp.

I was so confused.
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Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini
12/17/09

@merely_a_muse: You are not alone with that misreading. Tis the season and all that.
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KristaJulieva
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
Different people have different values? I am flummoxed!
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UnknownLegend
12/16/09

@KristaJulieva: Shyeah, who knew? I'm more comfortable with intolerance of Christians.
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theunsinkable!
12/16/09

@UnknownLegend: No fucking kidding. This post was super judgmental. Some porn *is* degrading to women and *can be* damaging to relationships, and I think the church is perfectly correct to address it on moral grounds. Better than pretending it doesn't exist. Maybe I don't agree with every nuance of the Christian anti-porn message, (i.e. it's anti-gay subtleties) but wow. I'm so confused that this site can run an article about how they don't believe a study suggesting porn doesn't affect young men's perceptions of women's bodies and their relationships and then turn right around and laugh it up about people who are actually trying to address the problem forthrightly. And ignore the outright sexist nasty ass attitude the dude who wrote that piece espoused to??? Not pleased about this analysis at all.
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shorty63136 promoted this comment Edited by theunsinkable! at 12/16/09 8:24 PM theunsinkable! was starred theunsinkable! was unstarred

CurtCole
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
I totally thought the dudes in the video were going to get it on. They really shouldn't cast twinks.
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sableized (sister europe)
12/17/09

@CurtCole: Um, hahahahaha, friended for that alone. I live in San Francisco and my building is, shall we say, overrun. That's all I could think of watching this.
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sheistolerable
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
"I'm not sure that we needed an "infiltrator" to tell us that fundamentalist anti-porn programs are ignorant, sex-negative, and creepy. "

Exactly, so why are you giving this jerk any airtime? People are in that church out of their own choice. And it sounds like (@token_illiterate) they're trying to encourage people to remove porn from their own lives, not make it illegal.
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token_illiterate_commenter
12/16/09

@sheistolerable: I've never seen fundamentalists who didn't want to codify their beliefs. It is these kind of groups who spawn pro-censorship movements. If this church is different, and really only wants to preach to those that want to listen, then I stand corrected.
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BytheSea
12/17/09

@sheistolerable: To let people knowwhat they would be in for if they take up with some cult -- i mean church.
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vitajex
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
I know when I look at porn, it's not just naked women I look at. I've really been getting into this Romanian appliance porn site I found recently. I just never thought I'd think a toaster INSIDE a refrigerator would be so... HOT!
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clevernamehere
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
I read the true/slant piece and I wasn't at all impressed. He goes to mock them, with absolutely no interest in why they have chosen such a strict no-porn stance. I tend to think that people who are drawn to these kinds of things probably have a reason for it whether it is a too strict upbringing or an actual relationship problem as a result of porn. And of course the women need to be mocked most of all, because if they were just sexier their men wouldn't want to look at porn in the first place! It could have been interesting, but it is too shallow.

Anna read the quote from the 12 year old as the girl being uncomfortable with her sexuality, but I read it the opposite way- that the girl found porn upsetting to watch because the porn version of sex (and maybe sex in general) freaked her out. I remember going to parties around age 14 and boys would sometimes put in porn and I always thought it was the most unsexy thing in the world. Not scary, but definitely did not make me want to wander off into the bushes with anyone. And I was already reading erotica at that age, so it wasn't the sex that bothered me.
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Jenloveshercurves
12/16/09

@clevernamehere: Here here. I've always found the big breasted, lots of anal and money shot porn disturbing especially at a young age because it made sex so, not anything I found sexually interesting. More graphic in that how many things can we shove in an opening of the human body way.
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boxspelunker
12/16/09

@clevernamehere: I agree with you. The guy didn't bother to try to figure out how they felt or why. He went for the sole reason of mockery, and I think he's a huge jerk for it.

I am not anti-porn in principle, but I am in execution. There are good, fine porn sites out there, and all that, but you know, the words used to describe women and how the "submissive" partner is treated make me uncomfortable.
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duetoprivacy
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
I first thought the website was set up as a joke, then I realized it was real.
While I know, or have heard of porn creating problems in marriages, relationships and life. I have also heard of religion causing the same damage.

You can't substitute an obsession with one thing for an obsession with another thing. In this case porn for religion.
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shorty63136
12/16/09

@duetoprivacy: Agreed.
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token_illiterate_commenter
12/16/09

In reply to Make This Sunday "Porn Sunday"
I will agree to keep my porn out of their church if they agree to keep their church out of my porn. Why can't they accept that not everybody lives life according to their rules? I thought acceptance was a big part of the New Testament.
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femme-bot
12/16/09

@token_illiterate_commenter: People who follow the bible don't read it :P
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Jack_Burton
12/16/09

@token_illiterate_commenter: And don't talk about "Brazilian monkey porn"... Unless you got some...
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eatsshootsleaves
12/16/09

@token_illiterate_commenter: "Keep their church out of my porn?" Says you! Me, I'll enjoy my copy of Hole-y Communion 2: Ten Come-on-us.
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Edited by eatsshootsleaves at 12/16/09 8:13 PM eatsshootsleaves was starred eatsshootsleaves was unstarred

sableized (sister europe)
12/07/09

In reply to Cow Licks "Tasty" House, Homeowner Complains • Sarah Palin Says Kids Must "Obey"
HOORAY for ordained gay Episcopalians. My grampa is one. He's awesome.
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JennaW
12/07/09

In reply to Cow Licks "Tasty" House, Homeowner Complains • Sarah Palin Says Kids Must "Obey"
"Obey...listen to what we say! Or we'll stone you just like the Bible tells us to in Deuteronomy 21!
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