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New York, 1:21 PM
Fri Dec 25
33 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub

    Big Problems Arise With Plus-Size Clothing For Teens

    Nina Ricci's Olivier Theyskens In, Out, Shaken All About

    Dove Finds Women Give Elastic Definitions Of 'Beauty'

    Big Hair Is Sexy, Cigarettes Whiten Teeth, Not Having Cellulite Is Awesome

    Fake Beauty?

    Pray For Marc Jacobs

    Women Criticize Dove Ads Directed At Women

    The Inconvenient Truth Behind Dove, The Love-Your-Body Beauty Company

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    Dove Tales

    On the wings of a Dove.
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Slovenly Muse Slovenly Muse
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    Remember The Daily Show a couple of nights back? When Michael Steele tried to claim that gay marriage hurt small businesses by putting more spouses on the health care plan, and Jon Stewart said that by his reasoning, ALL marriage hurt small businesses and the only way for small businesses to succeed would be to hire only "the undateable"?


    I think I just found the perfect place for a recruiting drive.

     Reply
    Slovenly Muse was starred Slovenly Muse was unstarred
    Image of Aesop's Foibles. YES. Aesop's Foibles. YES.
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    I've never been, but something tells me that the addition of more Axe will go unnoticed, because the atmosphere there is already saturated with the stuff. Axe and ICE spiker hair gel and open-collar buttondowns and tight t-shirts and spray tan and acrylic nails and beer tears and that one rank perfume that smells like scented tampons. That's what my nose is imagining.
     Reply
    Aesop's Foibles. YES. was starred Aesop's Foibles. YES. was unstarred
    Image of StarSquid StarSquid
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    Oh hells no!!
     Reply
    StarSquid was starred StarSquid was unstarred
    Image of PreposterousHypothesis PreposterousHypothesis
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    Yes, a nightclub is the best place for a mating game. Unfortunately for them, I am wearing my new fragrance Praying Mantis (by Elizabeth Taylor).
     Reply
    PreposterousHypothesis was starred PreposterousHypothesis was unstarred
    Image of StarSquid StarSquid
    05/22/09

    @PreposterousHypothesis: I'll wear Pure Poison (Dior) and join you.
     Reply
    StarSquid was starred StarSquid was unstarred
    Image of Sputnik_Sweetheart Sputnik_Sweetheart
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    "Axe is all about the mating game, and the best place for a mating game is at a nightclub."


    Aaannnd there goes my lunch.

     Reply
    Sputnik_Sweetheart was starred Sputnik_Sweetheart was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    The best place to mate isn't a nightclub; it's in the mountain stream in which I was spawned. Every year, I migrate there to reproduce, and sometimes, the trip kills me.
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of PreposterousHypothesis PreposterousHypothesis
    05/22/09

    @morninggloria: Well, maybe for actual mating potential, the Axe club would be better, as you can generally kill bears with an Axe, pitting predators against one another.
     Reply
    PreposterousHypothesis was starred PreposterousHypothesis was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    05/22/09

    @PreposterousHypothesis: Sexual predators!
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    Is it wrong that this makes me have visions of Jack Nicholson in The Shining dance in my head?
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    05/22/09

    @BabyJane: Heeeeeeere's me humping your right buttcheek!
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    05/22/09

    @morninggloria: All Axe and no game make Jack a frustrated boy.
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of EsmereldaFitzmonster EsmereldaFitzmonster
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    When I was a camp counselor, I had a very rambunctious (a ncie way of putting it) group of boys under my care. On one of my days off, another counselor came running to inform me that my kids were "Having an ax fight." I flipped and asked who the fuck would allow those little hormone-addled freaks access to a AX, and was informed (someone to my relief) that they were having an AXE fight.


    And then I walked in to their huge dorm room. I can't even describe the stench that comes from 20 minutes of 15 kids spraying Axe in each others' faces. This is what I imagine the Axe night club to smell like.

     Reply
    EsmereldaFitzmonster was starred EsmereldaFitzmonster was unstarred
    Image of EsmereldaFitzmonster EsmereldaFitzmonster
    05/22/09

    @EsmereldaFitzmonster: Argh, *nice and *somewhat
     Reply
    EsmereldaFitzmonster was starred EsmereldaFitzmonster was unstarred
    Image of tomatoheart tomatoheart
    05/22/09

    @EsmereldaFitzmonster: Oh mah gawd.
     Reply
    tomatoheart was starred tomatoheart was unstarred
    Image of NellMood NellMood
    05/22/09

    @EsmereldaFitzmonster: Just thinking about this smell is making me gag.
     Reply
    NellMood was starred NellMood was unstarred
    Image of MySymphony MySymphony
    05/22/09

    @EsmereldaFitzmonster: Oh God that sounds like what Douche Satan's armpit would smell like.
     Reply
    MySymphony was starred MySymphony was unstarred
    Image of Fridge Hussy : Is finally heading back to uni! Fridge Hussy : Is finally heading back to uni!
    05/22/09

    @MySymphony: Is there any other kind of Satan?
     Reply
    Fridge Hussy : Is finally heading back to uni! was starred Fridge Hussy : Is finally heading back to uni! was unstarred
    Image of prestocaro fears the culling prestocaro fears the culling
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    Finally, they're gathering all the assholes together in one place so they can stink in an enclosed environment! THIS WILL BE OUR SUMMER, JEZZIES! No more holding your breath in line! No more tiny penis being rubbed on your leg in a poor attempt at keeping the beat! No more jaegerbombs!
     Reply
    prestocaro fears the culling was starred prestocaro fears the culling was unstarred
    Image of HuckleberryFriend HuckleberryFriend
    05/22/09

    @prestocaro, emissary of hell: And, uh, if someone were to "accidentally" lock the doors from the outside once all the assholes were safely enclosed, that couldn't be traced back to me in anyway?
     Reply
    HuckleberryFriend was starred HuckleberryFriend was unstarred
    Image of prestocaro fears the culling prestocaro fears the culling
    05/22/09

    @HuckleberryFriend: Never! Huckleberry was with me the whole time, officers. THE. WHOLE. TIME. We pee while holding hands.
     Reply
    prestocaro fears the culling was starred prestocaro fears the culling was unstarred
    Image of BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit)
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    This is great! It's like herding douchebags.
     Reply
    BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was starred BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit) was unstarred
    Image of NellMood NellMood
    05/22/09

    @BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): Maybe one will run off a cliff and the rest will follow....
     Reply
    NellMood was starred NellMood was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    05/22/09

    @BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): Git along, Little Douchies.
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of tscheese tscheese
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    What in the hell is going on in this screencap? Is that what disemvowelling looks like?
     Reply
    tscheese was starred tscheese was unstarred
    Image of Tippi Hedren Tippi Hedren
    05/22/09

    @tscheese: His nasty dandruff is flaking all over everyone he's grinding on in the club... so they're aggressively washing his crusty hair.
     Reply
    Tippi Hedren was starred Tippi Hedren was unstarred
    Image of ihateyourescalade ihateyourescalade
    05/22/09

    @tscheese: Ha! Then the club would be called simply "X."
     Reply
    ihateyourescalade was starred ihateyourescalade was unstarred
    Image of ihateyourescalade ihateyourescalade
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    The only person I know who wears Axe is an eighth-grade boy. His parents secretly roll their eyes incessantly.
     Reply
    ihateyourescalade was starred ihateyourescalade was unstarred
    Image of StarSquid StarSquid
    05/22/09

    @ihateyourescalade: I know a 14 yr old who wears it and sometimes substitutes it for taking a morning shower. Ugh.
     Reply
    StarSquid was starred StarSquid was unstarred
    Image of ihateyourescalade ihateyourescalade
    05/22/09

    @StarSquid is in love with a robot: OMG, I just lost my appetite!
     Reply
    ihateyourescalade was starred ihateyourescalade was unstarred
    Image of Alastri Alastri
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    am i the only person that LIKES the smell of axe? it does really depend who's wearing it though. no guy in old spice can smell bad, but that's not true for axe. the boyfriend smells awesome in it though.
     Reply
    Alastri was starred Alastri was unstarred
    Image of hellosunshine hellosunshine
    05/22/09

    @Alastri: My ex wore one of them every so often and smelled DELIGHTFUL. I hate it on pretty much everyone else though.
     Reply
    hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred
    Image of NellMood NellMood
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    I'm really curious what an Axe-themed drink would taste like.
     Reply
    NellMood was starred NellMood was unstarred
    Image of stoprobbers stoprobbers
    05/22/09

    @NellMood: Cheap cologne and guido sweat.
     Reply
    stoprobbers was starred stoprobbers was unstarred
    Image of tscheese tscheese
    05/22/09

    @NellMood: Mothballs, ketosis, and adolescent angst.
     Reply
    tscheese was starred tscheese was unstarred
    Image of Tippi Hedren Tippi Hedren
    05/22/09

    @NellMood: Roofies.
     Reply
    Tippi Hedren was starred Tippi Hedren was unstarred
    Image of NellMood NellMood
    05/22/09

    @tscheese: @stoprobbers: Spiced with a hint of aggressive misogyny?
     Reply
    NellMood was starred NellMood was unstarred
    Image of Jello Mix Jello Mix
    05/22/09

    @NellMood: Doritos and dirty sweat socks.
     Reply
    Jello Mix was starred Jello Mix was unstarred
    Image of angelheadedhipster angelheadedhipster
    05/22/09

    @NellMood: Lube and Regret.
     Reply
    angelheadedhipster was starred angelheadedhipster was unstarred
    Image of tomatoheart tomatoheart
    05/22/09

    @Tippi Hedren: lol!
     Reply
    tomatoheart was starred tomatoheart was unstarred
    Image of ihateyourescalade ihateyourescalade
    05/22/09

    @NellMood: Naked ball sweat and stale beer.
     Reply
    ihateyourescalade was starred ihateyourescalade was unstarred
    Image of GeorgeFayne GeorgeFayne
    05/22/09

    @NellMood: Premature ejaculation.
     Reply
    GeorgeFayne was starred GeorgeFayne was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    05/22/09

    @NellMood: Hair gel and desperation.
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny.
    05/22/09

    @NellMood: Natty Ice.
     Reply
    Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. was starred Vivelafat says Sweep the leg, Johnny. was unstarred
    Image of MizJenkins MizJenkins
    05/22/09

    @NellMood: In a word...college.
     Reply
    MizJenkins was starred MizJenkins was unstarred
    Image of MizJenkins MizJenkins
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    Hmmmmm...you don't think they would have more success with this on the Jersey Shore?
     Reply
    MizJenkins was starred MizJenkins was unstarred
    Image of angelheadedhipster angelheadedhipster
    05/22/09

    @MizJenkins: THAT WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT!


    Er, sorry for the caps, but I just im'ed this to someone with the note: "This sounds so Jersey Shore"

     Reply
    angelheadedhipster was starred angelheadedhipster was unstarred
    Image of NefariousNewt NefariousNewt
    05/22/09

    @MizJenkins: There are already enough foul-smelling bars at the Jersey Shore, thank you very much! Who do you think invented the idea?
     Reply
    NefariousNewt was starred NefariousNewt was unstarred
    Image of IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel
    05/22/09

    @MizJenkins: True. Seaside Heights would eat this shit up.
     Reply
    IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel was starred IBleedGlitter: The High Priestess of Tinsel was unstarred
    Image of GirlFailer GirlFailer
    05/22/09

    @MizJenkins: Surely Unilever owns some hair care products they could pair with the axe. It would be a match made in heaven.
     Reply
    GirlFailer was starred GirlFailer was unstarred
    Image of Hamsterpants Hamsterpants
    05/22/09

    @MizJenkins: This is so obvs a Guido themed endeavor that I believe their demographic people truly missed the boat on this one.
     Reply
    Hamsterpants was starred Hamsterpants was unstarred
    Image of Hamsterpants Hamsterpants
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    THe MATING game? Really, AXE? Really? Perhaps you would like to don this velvet smoking jacket, pour me a Club brand Harvey Wallbanger and spin me some some hepcat records on your hi-fi?
     Reply
    Hamsterpants was starred Hamsterpants was unstarred
    Image of stoprobbers stoprobbers
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    Funny story: That blonde girl on the right in the picture (the one who's washing hair)? That's one of my roommates from my study abroad.
     Reply
    stoprobbers was starred stoprobbers was unstarred
    Image of tomatoheart tomatoheart
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    Has anyone seen that new axe commercial with the wet armpit guy? It literally made me gag to think of someone's B.O. shooting all over everything.
     Reply
    tomatoheart was starred tomatoheart was unstarred
    Image of MizJenkins MizJenkins
    05/22/09

    @tomatoheart: Shuddupshuddupshuddupshuddup!!!!!!! It's lunch time!
     Reply
    MizJenkins was starred MizJenkins was unstarred
    Image of aisuru113 aisuru113
    05/22/09

    @tomatoheart: They show it in teh movie theater. On the IMAX screen.
     Reply
    aisuru113 was starred aisuru113 was unstarred
    Image of tomatoheart tomatoheart
    05/22/09

    @aisuru113: I KNOW! before Star trek!!!! Blasphemy!
     Reply
    tomatoheart was starred tomatoheart was unstarred
    Image of hellosunshine hellosunshine
    05/22/09

    @tomatoheart: Oh. Right in the middle of my lunch.
     Reply
    hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred
    Image of angelheadedhipster angelheadedhipster
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    Ok, I used to buy Axe before (I now know the error of my ways, and was heavily taunted for it at the time) but I always hated that it apparently never dawned on them that some men may want to attract other men, not just female supermodels, when putting together advertising.


    In hindsight they probably knew most functional gay men (not me at the time, or now even, most likely) wouldn't touch Axe with a ten-foot pole...

     Reply
    angelheadedhipster was starred angelheadedhipster was unstarred
    Image of tomatoheart tomatoheart
    05/22/09

    @angelheadedhipster: It just seems like something teenage and young college boys wear, I don't think anyone can fault you for that. It's the scent that also eminates out of abercrombie and fitch
     Reply
    tomatoheart was starred tomatoheart was unstarred
    Image of angelheadedhipster angelheadedhipster
    05/22/09

    @tomatoheart: Ha, yes, I was a young gay college boy living in my frat house - it seemed so natural!
     Reply
    angelheadedhipster was starred angelheadedhipster was unstarred
    Image of morninggloria morninggloria
    05/22/09

    @angelheadedhipster: YOU'RE A DUDE?!?!
     Reply
    morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred
    Image of hellosunshine hellosunshine
    05/22/09

    @morninggloria: Right?! Mind BLOWN.
     Reply
    hellosunshine was starred hellosunshine was unstarred
    Image of Firefly in the Sky Firefly in the Sky
    05/22/09

    @angelheadedhipster: Sigh, my husband still uses Axe even though I'm trying to get him to stop. There is only one particular (discontinued) scent that I liked. At least he doesn't shower in it. I'm working on weaning him off... Slowly but surely. (He's not a douche but smells like one. :/ )
     Reply
    Firefly in the Sky was starred Firefly in the Sky was unstarred
    Image of BabyJane BabyJane
    05/22/09

    @preetalina: My husband used to use a scented deodorant that I found particularly offensive, so I feel your pain. Sometimes nice guys make bad decisions. :D
     Reply
    BabyJane was starred BabyJane was unstarred
    Image of angelheadedhipster angelheadedhipster
    05/22/09

    @morninggloria: Ha! I thought everyone knew my dirty little secret!
     Reply
    angelheadedhipster was starred angelheadedhipster was unstarred
    Image of tomatoheart tomatoheart
    05/22/09

    In reply to Axe To Put Its Masculine Stench On A Nightclub
    Does Axe come with a free douchnozzle?
     Reply
    tomatoheart was starred tomatoheart was unstarred
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