Remember The Daily Show a couple of nights back? When Michael Steele tried to claim that gay marriage hurt small businesses by putting more spouses on the health care plan, and Jon Stewart said that by his reasoning, ALL marriage hurt small businesses and the only way for small businesses to succeed would be to hire only "the undateable"?
I think I just found the perfect place for a recruiting drive.
I've never been, but something tells me that the addition of more Axe will go unnoticed, because the atmosphere there is already saturated with the stuff. Axe and ICE spiker hair gel and open-collar buttondowns and tight t-shirts and spray tan and acrylic nails and beer tears and that one rank perfume that smells like scented tampons. That's what my nose is imagining.
The best place to mate isn't a nightclub; it's in the mountain stream in which I was spawned. Every year, I migrate there to reproduce, and sometimes, the trip kills me.
@morninggloria: Well, maybe for actual mating potential, the Axe club would be better, as you can generally kill bears with an Axe, pitting predators against one another.
When I was a camp counselor, I had a very rambunctious (a ncie way of putting it) group of boys under my care. On one of my days off, another counselor came running to inform me that my kids were "Having an ax fight." I flipped and asked who the fuck would allow those little hormone-addled freaks access to a AX, and was informed (someone to my relief) that they were having an AXE fight.
And then I walked in to their huge dorm room. I can't even describe the stench that comes from 20 minutes of 15 kids spraying Axe in each others' faces. This is what I imagine the Axe night club to smell like.
Finally, they're gathering all the assholes together in one place so they can stink in an enclosed environment! THIS WILL BE OUR SUMMER, JEZZIES! No more holding your breath in line! No more tiny penis being rubbed on your leg in a poor attempt at keeping the beat! No more jaegerbombs!
@prestocaro, emissary of hell: And, uh, if someone were to "accidentally" lock the doors from the outside once all the assholes were safely enclosed, that couldn't be traced back to me in anyway?
am i the only person that LIKES the smell of axe? it does really depend who's wearing it though. no guy in old spice can smell bad, but that's not true for axe. the boyfriend smells awesome in it though.
THe MATING game? Really, AXE? Really? Perhaps you would like to don this velvet smoking jacket, pour me a Club brand Harvey Wallbanger and spin me some some hepcat records on your hi-fi?
Ok, I used to buy Axe before (I now know the error of my ways, and was heavily taunted for it at the time) but I always hated that it apparently never dawned on them that some men may want to attract other men, not just female supermodels, when putting together advertising.
In hindsight they probably knew most functional gay men (not me at the time, or now even, most likely) wouldn't touch Axe with a ten-foot pole...
@angelheadedhipster: It just seems like something teenage and young college boys wear, I don't think anyone can fault you for that. It's the scent that also eminates out of abercrombie and fitch
@angelheadedhipster: Sigh, my husband still uses Axe even though I'm trying to get him to stop. There is only one particular (discontinued) scent that I liked. At least he doesn't shower in it. I'm working on weaning him off... Slowly but surely. (He's not a douche but smells like one. :/ )
@preetalina: My husband used to use a scented deodorant that I found particularly offensive, so I feel your pain. Sometimes nice guys make bad decisions. :D
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I think I just found the perfect place for a recruiting drive.
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Aaannnd there goes my lunch.
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And then I walked in to their huge dorm room. I can't even describe the stench that comes from 20 minutes of 15 kids spraying Axe in each others' faces. This is what I imagine the Axe night club to smell like.
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Er, sorry for the caps, but I just im'ed this to someone with the note: "This sounds so Jersey Shore"
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In hindsight they probably knew most functional gay men (not me at the time, or now even, most likely) wouldn't touch Axe with a ten-foot pole...
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