Clothes Calls - Jezebel

posts about #clothescalls more →
Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
Endangered Species: The Sari
Closet Cases: Returning Clothes Is Traumatic
Raiding Mom's Closet Is A Time-Honored Tradition

Slow Hand: Native American Dresses, Forever21, Kilts, And The Recession
Closet Cases: Why Parents Dress Their Kids In Horrendous Outfits
What's In A Name?
Why Do We Feel The Need To Make Men Over?
Solicitations: Help Me Choose A Meet The Parents Outfit

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

DangerMouse
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
Oh, and the NYT said that Madoff couldn't go to her salon anymore (the owner asked her not to because other patrons had lost money with her husband). So there's that.
Reply

DangerMouse was starred DangerMouse was unstarred

DangerMouse
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
She already knew for months and they had already split, as my understanding goes. What is the media expecting here?
Reply

DangerMouse was starred DangerMouse was unstarred

otherginger
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
"MY HUSBAND WENT TO ARGENTINA AND ALL I GOT IS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT"
Reply

otherginger was starred otherginger was unstarred

sequined
07/06/09

@otherginger: "Someone who loves me very much brought me this tee-shirt from Argentina!"
Reply

sequined was starred sequined was unstarred

Dodgergirl
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
Oh, I wanta play!

When Mark Sanford wares a black suit, it represents the darkness of his soul, and also how remarkably boring he is.

When he wears a red tie, it represented the PASSION he felt for his lady of the exotic tan lines. When he wares a blue tie, it represents the COLDNESS he felt in his marriage. When he wears a striped tie, it represents his CONFUSION over his love life. And when he wears polka dots, it represents his stupidity.
Reply

Dodgergirl was starred Dodgergirl was unstarred

Dodgergirl
07/06/09

@Dodgergirl: wares? wears, I should think.
Reply

Dodgergirl was starred Dodgergirl was unstarred

TheFormerJuneBronson
07/06/09

@Dodgergirl: Baggy pants mean that he has seen the billboard for Krusty's Klown Kollege, and he is in!
Reply

Dodgergirl
07/06/09

@TheFormerJuneBronson: No jacket means his dream of becoming a waiter has been crushed.
Reply

Dodgergirl was starred Dodgergirl was unstarred

sequined
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
I like to advertise my emotional state via my clothing choices, but since I don't believe in making people think too hard, when I'm recovering from being publicly cheated on and humiliated, I run around in my I'm Fucking Miserable, You Fucking Fuck! tee shirt and a ratty old thong. Then people can really tell how I feel.

Also I like to run as many errands as possible while attired this way, so there's no public speculation or confusion about how I'm doing: poorly.
Reply

sequined was starred sequined was unstarred

scandalouskiki
07/06/09

@sequined: HAHA - well played. :)
Reply

scandalouskiki was starred scandalouskiki was unstarred

SomeAuthorGirl
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
I think they are also being reduced to their grooming because they aren't saying enough of or even what the media wants to hear, perhaps. A dissection of their clothing choices gives the media a place to speculate, to fill in the blanks, and to write little thought balloons over their heads.

And yeah, it's 'cause they're women. No one is speculating about what Gov Sanford is thinking based on his suit, and it isn't just because his TMI-OFF button was broken.
Reply

SomeAuthorGirl was starred SomeAuthorGirl was unstarred

tscheese
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
The whole "LET'S SPECULATE ENDLESSLY ON WHAT FAMOUS JILTED WOMEN ARE WEARING" thing is best illustrated in the case of Jennifer Aniston, who we all know has been wearing widows weeds and hair shirts for the last eighty years because of her OMG HEARTBREAK. She practically lives in a decrepit old manor with her rotted out wedding cake and is sooo saaad every day. The ocean levels aren't rising - it's just Jennifer Aniston crying into them.
Reply

tscheese was starred tscheese was unstarred

SomeAuthorGirl
07/06/09

@tscheese: That half buttoned she was wearing on set the other day? It SO MEANS that she just got done sending a sad text to John Mayer.

Except her pants are just screaming "sexting with Brad," so fuck, I don't know what to think anymore, and I no longer believe in love.
Reply

SomeAuthorGirl was starred SomeAuthorGirl was unstarred

tanktopversusboatneck.whowins
07/06/09

@tscheese: Don't forget sunglasses with little George Forman Grill drip trays to catch all the tears.
Reply

tscheese
07/06/09

@tanktopversusboatneck.whowins: I just burst out laughing in my office. People are looking. Well played. I can't even wipe away my tears of silent cackling, because I don't have George Foreman Grill drip trays installed.
Reply

tscheese was starred tscheese was unstarred

mfnher
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
...she was dressed like she'd just come in from a leisurely bike ride amid the wildflowers, during which she did not perspire.

Maybe she just returned from filming her spot in a commercial for yeast infection cream.
Reply

mfnher was starred mfnher was unstarred

bigazzkidlisberger
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
She comes across as a woman set free. Everything about her style is breezy.

Perhaps that's because it's summer in South Carolina?
Reply

bigazzkidlisberger was starred

WashingMyHair
07/06/09

@bigazzkid: It'd really be funny if she wore an "Argentina is for Lovers" t-shirt. That'd throw everybody off.
Reply

WashingMyHair was starred WashingMyHair was unstarred

Triphena
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
We could turn Clothes Divining into a game. It will be the new big "get to know you" game at awful cocktail parties and okay corporate retreats.

I'll go first: I am wearing gold flip flops and a empire-waist sundress in a pattern Vogue descriped as "Ethnic" and I haven't bothered to brush my hair yet. Now, you have to guess my mood.
Reply

Triphena was starred Triphena was unstarred

SleeplessNights
07/06/09

@Triphena: You are thinking of leaving your domicile some time today, but really can't be bothered?
Reply

SleeplessNights was starred SleeplessNights was unstarred

Triphena
07/06/09

@SleeplessNights: You're good.

@VintageVixen: What a dick.
Reply

Triphena was starred Triphena was unstarred

morninggloria
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
Jenny Sanford should fuck with us by wearing costumes that look like they're from a "Traditional Clothing Of The World!" picture book. Lederhosen one day, a sari the next, then some kente cloth and then a toga.

People would not know what to think.
Reply

morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred

Penny
07/06/09

@morninggloria: Aside from the fact that she's kookily awesome.

Everyone loves a crazy lady.
Reply

Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

morninggloria
07/06/09

@Penny: Especially an mysterious crazy lady.

She might be able to pull it off. She could be the white lady version of Andre 3000.
Reply

morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred

Laulau
07/06/09

@morninggloria: Can we set up a paypal account to support this? In a world with so many problems, this needs to happen.
Reply

Laulau was starred Laulau was unstarred

Laulau
07/06/09

@morninggloria: Oh, second recommendation - would you kindly marry a narcissistic man on the path to fame and fortune so that when he inevitably gets caught with his trousers down, you can pull something similar? Thanks in advance.
Reply

Laulau was starred Laulau was unstarred

morninggloria
07/06/09

@Laulau: I always figured that this was my path. I just need to find that one special narcissist.
Reply

morninggloria was starred morninggloria was unstarred

Laulau
07/06/09

@morninggloria: Some day your prince will come.
Reply

Laulau was starred Laulau was unstarred

Penny
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
As for Franken, just wait until her husband does something naughty, then you'll hear all about her attire!

Seriously. What this comes down to, really, is that these women are thought of as accessories. Accessories that walk and talk, but ornamental nonetheless.
Reply

Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

Flackette Goes Retro
07/06/09

@Penny: Bingo.
Reply

MarissaExplainsItAll
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
If my boyfriend ever cheats on me, I guess I'll have to dress full chola for people to understand what I want to do, because clearly my actions will not be enough.
Reply

Eleanor Ramilly
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
...she was dressed like she'd just come in from a leisurely bike ride amid the wildflowers, during which she did not perspire.

Apparently Mark Sanford's style of writing is catching on. This is not a good thing.
Reply

Eleanor Ramilly was starred Eleanor Ramilly was unstarred

Penny
07/06/09

@Eleanor Ramilly: Obviously only hateful people perspire. And tacky people rollerblade through landfills.
Reply

Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

Eleanor Ramilly
07/06/09

@Penny: Sometimes I skateboard over daisies while sweating profusely. What does that say about me?
Reply

Eleanor Ramilly was starred Eleanor Ramilly was unstarred

Penny
07/06/09

In reply to Screw The Husbands: What Is Today's Humiliated Wife Wearing?
So why are both reduced to their grooming?

Because they have vaginas.

Really, I can understand it more with Madoff, simply because the way one presents his/herself usually speaks to their peg on the social (read: $$$$) hierarchy.
Reply

Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

Earlier threads | All threads | Show hidden threads | Show featured threads only | Start a new discussion

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment