(Remember, kids: Don't do drugs!) In this holiday edition, Rich and I answer questions about uneven boobs, blow jobs, and boredom. Got a burning question? Send it to potpsych@jezebel.com. Or to Twitter.

A Very Pot Psychology Christmas from Pot Psychology on Vimeo.

In this clip from The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982), Dolly and the other working girls sing "Hard Candy Christmas."


From their 1984 special Kenny & Dolly: A Christmas to Remember, Dolly teams up with Kenny Rogers—and a bunch of creepy mannequins—to sing the title song she penned "A Christmas to Remember."


In the 1990 TV special A Down Home Country Christmas, Dolly relays the story of her first (and only?) doll she owned as a child, Little Tiny Tassel Top, which was made out of a corn cob, and was the inspiration for the first song she ever wrote.


In the made-for-TV movie Smoky Mountain Christmas (1986), Dolly plays a country music star who runs into a mountaineer (Lee Majors), seven orphans, and a witch in the backwoods of Tennessee. In this clip, she sings the title song.


In another song from her 1984 special with Kenny Rogers, Dolly sings "White Christmas."


From her vlog, Dolly wishes everyone a Merry Christmas for 2009.

Natalie is pretty despicable. She is constantly talking about money and material things and the fancy lifestyle she leads. She had been kicked out for violence in a previous episode, but the girls allowed her to return to the house. Now Portia has been permanently removed from the show.


In other news, it seems like most of the girls on this show are despicable.

Seriously, I don't understand where Butch gets off thinking he can criticize anyone for their choice about anything. Looking at his hair, he obviously is not the arbiter of good ideas. It's kind of insane that someone as insensitive and illogical as Butch could have fathered someone like Tyler, who seems wise beyond his years.


Meanwhile, Amber's car broke down, and she had to wait at her father's studio apartment for her boyfriend to pick her up. When he finally appeared after several hours, she and her father both gave him attitude, which caused him to snap at them. Amber then grabbed him by the neck, slammed him against the wall, and slapped him across the face—all in front of their baby.

She talked about riding a Razr scooter ('You have to switch sides or else one side becomes overdeveloped"), pole dancing with her daughter, having a scrapbook for her "mutts" — including a picture of one of them with Barack Obama — and, as seen in the clip above, made a cracks about how much fun it is to do sad movies.

She also informed David Letterman that when kids are seven years old, they can go to hell. She knows from experience.

Lastly, she showed off her tattoos.

JD, who has made controversial statements in the media about the weight of some women (namely, Tyra Banks), has decided that being too thin can be a bad thing. Disliking plus-size women and holding very thin women up on a pedestal had previously been the one consistent thread we could expect out of the normally arbitrary former-model's mouth. At least we know that we can always count on her to be consistently inconsistent.

The thing is, that she's gotten people so used to seeing her in couture costumes, masks, and severe makeup, that it's actually more shocking to see her without it. Like in this In Touch "exclusive" revealing that "Lady Gaga is surprisingly normal"—gasp!—showing a picture of the pop star at what looks like her First Holy Communion.

In addition to telling MTV that she doesn't want to touch her fans as much as she wants them to touch themselves, Gaga also revealed that she's completely revamping her Monster Ball show—which was hastily put together after Kanye West canceled his plans to tour with her—something which has her team thinking she's "completely psychotic." The new version of the tour, which will launch in February 2010 in the UK will be "conceptually different," feature a much larger stage, and will bring back "the idea of showbiz."

Lady Gaga Reveals Details Of Revamped Monster Ball Tour For 2010 [MTV]
Lady Gaga was surprisingly normal! [In Touch]

Rob considers himself a singer/songwriter, despite the fact that after 20 plus years of playing music, he's never actually made any money from his "profession." Afraid to "burst his bubble," his family let him believe that he was talented, even though they secretly think he needs to just give it up, get a job, get off drugs, and take care of his daughter. After being in and out of rehab several times over the years, his family staged a "final straw" intervention. Rob agreed to go, got clean, and at the end of the episode, said that he wasn't that attached to the idea of being a rock star anymore, and eventually got a job in construction.

Now that she's a wife and mother, there were some tweaks made to Kendra's theme song. (Instead of "You're on your own now," it's "You're not alone now.")


I really love that she uses it as her ring tone.


Kendra's reluctance to remove the gizzard from the Thanksgiving turkey foreshadowed her impending labor. (Also, I love that she refers to surgical masks as "SARS masks.")


After being induced and suffering through labor for over 24 hours, Kendra's doctor finally decided to give her a C-section. What's terrifying to me is that she's screaming "Ouch! Ouch!" Why is it still hurting!?

It's difficult to tell how much of this whole plot was fabricated for TV, but even if it was 100% fake, that somehow makes it even crazier—that they'd actually agree to going along with a storyline that involves mothers and boners.


I really like this family's sense of humor.

1.) Snooki is an honorary Latina.
George Lopez bestowed the honor on her because she "can take a punch."


2.) Pauly D wants to pose for Playgirl.
He said that he has to give the public what they want.


3.) Trivia is not one of the cast members' strengths.
Neither is math, really.


4.) Pauly D spends at least $60 a week on gel.
And his hair is very hard to the touch.


5.) They all upstage Mike Tyson.
And confuse him, as well.


6.) They're proud to be called guidos and guidettes.
It's a compliment, according to Snooki.


7.) Snooki believes she'd lose a fight against Kristin Cavallari.
But she also believes that she could party harder than Kristin.


8.) They're not bad actors.

• A Florida judge refused to block the prosecution in Casey Anthony's murder trial from seeing the death penalty. Lawyers for Anthony, who is accused of murdering her 2-year-old daughter, claimed that the state seeking the death penalty violated her constitutional rights. The judge said whether or not Anthony should face the death penalty is a decision for the jury to make. • Banita Jacks, who was found in her Washington, D.C. home last year with her four daughters' decomposing bodies, was sentenced to 120 years in prison today for murdering the girls. The judge rejected the defense's suggestion that the four 30 year sentences be served concurrently, and their claim that she's wasn't competent when she rejected their advice to plead insanity. • Two British boys have been charged with the rape of an 8-year-old girl. At 10 years old, they are the youngest children to be charged with rape in the history of England. The assault occurred at a park, where the three children had gone to play on the jungle gym. The boys have been released on bail, and will return to court on January 2nd. • Members of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights voted today to subpoena data from 19 colleges to investigate whether some schools favor men in their admission process. The probe is based on news reports and anecdotal evidence that colleges discriminate against women to maintain an even gender balance. A mix of schools near D.C. were chosen as a sample of U.S. colleges, not because they're specifically suspected of discrimination. •  A new book, The Death of American Virtue, reveals that Monika Lewinsky believes Bill Clinton lied to a federal jury about their affair. The author quotes a letter from Lewinsky, which reads: "There was no leeway on the veracity of his statements because they asked him detailed and specific questions to which he answered untruthfully." •  According to a new study from Canada, 10 to 15% of women have maladaptive eating behaviors. However, out of the 1,500 women interviewed, not one had anorexia, and the most common disordered behavior was binge eating. 2.5% also admitted to using laxatives, diuretics or vomiting to purge. • The Court of Arbitration for Sport rejected a motion from Marion Jones' relay teammates at the 2000 Olympics to overturn the International Olympic Committee's decision to strip them of their gold medals after Jones admitted to doping. The ruling was a setback, but the court will hold a full hearing on the case next year. •  Billie Piper, the actress who played Belle in the TV series The Secret Diary of a Call Girl and Dr. Brooke Magnanti, the woman behind the Belle du Jour blog and book, will meet in person on a television documentary, Billie and the Call Girl Bare All. It will be "the last world on what it was like to be Belle - how my sexuality was formed, how I came to the work and what it's like to be portrayed on TV," said Dr. Magnanti. •