Writes Bialik in Tablet,

The WNTW producers asked if I have any clothing restrictions. Deep breath. "I don't wear pants," I told them. "I prefer skirts." You see, I am what I guess you'd call a Conservadox Jew. I started embracing certain aspects of Jewish modesty, or tzniut, before my second son was born, and although I know many Orthodox women who don't observe tzniut, the boundaries and framework of privacy it provides appealed to me.

Although Bialik isn't that strict - she doesn't, for instance, refuse to wear 3/4 sleeves - her demands do put a bit of a kink in WNTW's style. It's a smart, well-written piece, but there are two kind of hilarous parts. I think - but am not positive - that the following is deliberately tongue-in-cheek.

Growing up, I lived a pretty normal life; I had my own prime-time network TV show from the ages of 14 to 19, which meant my physical appearance and clothing choices were dissected on a weekly basis in gossip magazines and on television.

But this, I'm sure, isn't: "During the days of the sheva brachot, the seven traditional feasts celebrated in the days after the chuppah ceremony, I tentatively covered my head with scarves and crocheted hats." Tentatively? Blossom lived in hats! Hell, she made them a thing! I had a sunflower hat!

Anyway, one has to wonder if WNTW was the only way she could smarten up her act; she's not the first actor, after all, who's used it as an optimistic bit of new-push PR. But hell, we'd do the show if it meant we could hang out with Clinton and Stacey! And we wouldn't even give them any problems about wearing the satin reveal dress, or the A-line skirt, or the nipped-in jacket that shows off the waist and the girls! Indeed, it's always seemed a bit irrational for those who knowingly agree to the makeovers - as opposed to those intransigent types humiliated into it by secret footage - to give the team a lot of problems. But in the case of religious objections? It doesn't seem like anything the dynamic duo couldn't surmount.

So, how'd it go? Well:

I got wonderful new clothes, jewelry, and vegan shoes (one of my other preferences). When we filmed me revealing the final outfits they picked, I gently pointed out that skirts above the knee are not something I'd wear, and that I wouldn't wear sleeveless shirts or dresses without something to cover my arms once I left the set. When the show aired, I saw that my qualifications and explanations did not survive the cutting room...I don't wish to claim that there is an "immodest agenda" on WNTW. It's a show for the average American, who is most likely not Jewish, and if she is Jewish, she's most likely not observant. In spite of the fact that the hosts kept telling me that I needed to be "sexy" and not "hide" in my clothing, I loved being a part of the show. They were right to encourage me to wear clothing that was my size, and to emphasize my figure where it needed emphasizing. But sexy doesn't necessarily mean scantily-clad.

The final twist is that when Bialik does go in for a part, it's that of a Hasid. So it's hard to say who wins the battle of wills. But our money is usually on Stacey and Clinton.

Wardrobe! [Tablet]
What Not to Wear - Season Premiere Sneak Peek [YouTube]
Blossom's Mayim Bialik: I Needed a Makeover! [People]
Related: Jezebel Faceoff: Blossom Russo Vs. Clarissa Darling

• Newly-minted Louis Vuitton designer Sofia Coppola's road was not an easy one. "At the age when Marie-Antoinette was facing the rigid etiquette of the court of Versailles, the 15-year-old Coppola was working as an intern at Chanel in Paris, a city that her parents had always loved." No wonder, then, that "Coppola drew on a well of personal experience for the accessories. A gilded wedge ankle-strap sandal (€500) was stirred by the memory of her mother's Yves Saint Laurent shoes in the 1970s." We love a rags to riches story. [IHT]
• What Not To Wear good cop Clinton Kelly has thrown his hat into the competitive fabulosity ring. "In Freakin’ Fabulous: How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better Than Everyone Else, Kelly begins by taking the reader through his long journey toward “fabulousness,” which started prepuberty. 'While other kids on the elementary school playground were trading baseball cards and playing kickball, I was silently debating whether to spend my first paycheck on Italian suede driving shoes or on a cashmere coat,' he writes." [WWD]
• Designers won't loan gowns to Mad Men's resident bombshell Christina Hendricks! Too "curvy!" [Ephemerist]

• Presses stopped. Chanel, Moschino, Louis Vuitton, Sonia Rykiel, Stella McCartney and Christian Lacroix are all designing DOLLS for Unicef! [VogueUK]
• Which should please foppish hockey player cum novelty intern Sean Avery, who liked playing with dolls as a kid. Us too! [New York Magazine]
• As his trial progresses, creepy designer Anand Jon is looking more perv than rapist. [Radar]
• Travis Barker's fashion line (?) makes tee shirts to benefit families of the two victims of his plane crash. [UPI]
• Here's a pic. [People]
• Who whoa whoa. Sheryl Crow's alleged clothing line? "The first line is made up of about two dozen pieces developed by Crow's stylist and inspired by clothes from the singer's wardrobe." [IHT]
• Twiggy puts clothing swaps on TV in some kind of bid to beat the recession. [Daily Mail]
• Party girl Alice Dellal may be disinherited. Which will put her on a level with the rest of us. Oh, wait, she's a famous moddle. [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, male model Donald Carmichael robbed and shot in New York. Well, grazed. He's okay. [UPI]
• Almost all the cosmetics you use are poison. Wah-wah. [LA Times]
• The tone of international Fashion Week? Strictly Let Them Eat Cake. [Washington Post]
• Lucky editors claim their new style guide is actually really perfect for the recession. [The Budget Fashionista]
• Diesel plans unique stores worldwide. [WWD]
• Apparently literally every celeb in the world was at one of Diesel's 17 30th birthday parties. [ElleUK]
• Zahara Jolie-Pitt wears organic denim. It's $128. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The Glamouresque Wig Party is where celebrities design wigs. For charity, obvs. [Daily Mail]
• Relive your high school years — or mine, anyway! — with Screaming Mimi's online vintage. [FabSugar]
• Why choose between cognac and sneakers when you can wear the $300 Hennessy Celebration Hi-Top? [BlackBook]
• Want to read a list of Kate Moss's debaucheries? Yeah, set aside some time. [Daily Mail]
• Cosmetics are up. Well, we all need to cover dark circles these days. [Washington Post]
• Please let this be our last mention of male pantyhose. [News.com.au]
• The recession may speed consolidation in the fashion world. [WWD]
• So, want to wear a fake school uniform? No? Here are some options anyway. [Sassybella]

• The USA Today article that discusses the shopping poll also pointed out that "39% have purchased something that was too small, hoping it would look good once they lost weight." Stacy and Clinton are so against this. They always say that you should dress the body you have, not the body you think you should have. You should also probably learn to love your body, but that's not quite as easily remedied.
• "62% say they own a pair of jeans that no longer fit," according to the same survey. Again: a no no. Our bodies change sometimes, Stacy and Clinton will have you know, and if you put on or lose weight, you should buy some new garb. You're going to feel bad about yourself if you wear clothes that don't fit, because they're going to look bad.
• The survey also says that "14% have refused help from sales personnel so they wouldn't have to reveal their size." Again: know your size, love your size. The best sales personnel know their stock, and they have suggestions about what looks good on you that you might have missed out on. Which brings me to…
• Accepting what looks good on you. Like Tracie said in her post yesterday about Mad Men fashion and Sadie pointed out in her post on practical tips for personal style, if you've got some curves, you are going to rock structured styles, while you will…decidedly not rock floppy, tent-y styles . If you're sporting a cute boyish figure, you can look chic in those same tent dresses! And pretty much no one looks good in American Apparel spandex unitards.

All of this What Not To Wear ephemera boils down to one basic tenet that ultimately has nothing to do with fashion. Know your body, love your body, and as Stacy and Clinton would say, if something looks bad, blame the clothes, not your figure!

*I'm sure some of you are going to complain in the comments that the original British version of the show is superior to the American imitation, but having seen Trinny and Susannah I must respectfully disagree! Stacy London is the baddest bitch.

Trying On Clothes Brings Most Women Low [USA Today]

Earlier: Mad Men Is Stimulating Consumerism In The Midst Of A Recession
Practical Tips For Personal Style, Or Why Not To Listen To Women's Magazines
American Apparel Will Make You Look Like A Fat Hooker