• The Tiger Woods case may be closed, but a Los-Angeles based cocktail waitress, Jaimee Grubbs, is telling Us Weekly that she had a 31-month fling with Tiger. And:

Another woman from a nightclub in Las Vegas is expected to be named any minute now. Can of worms, you guys. Can of worms. [MSNBC Scoop]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but Us Weekly has voicemails from Tiger Woods in which he says: "Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye." You can listen at the link. [Us Weekly]
• Jaimee Grubbs, the alleged recipient of the voicemail, allegedly bragged about her relationship with Tiger at work and played the voicemail for coworkers. Allegedly. [TMZ]
• Jaimee Grubbs also says she has photos and hundreds of "racy" text messages from Tiger Woods. [NY Daily News]
• More on Tiger's sexting here. One message reads: "I will wear you out... when was the last time you got [bleeped]?" [Radar Online]
• This report claims that Tiger Woods booked and paid for Rachel Uchitel's trip to meet him in Australia in November. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan was out Monday night, hanging with John Mayer and Samantha Ronson, and was "totally sober and well-behaved." No, really. [Page Six]
• According to this column, John Mayer was "playing relationship counselor" to Sam and Lindsay — getting Sam to talk to Lindsay, whom she initially ignored. The two ended up spending much of the night talking and laughing! John Mayer is magic! [Gatecrasher]
• Caaaaaaashmere sweaters! Oprah's "Favorite Things" episode may be back next year! [CNN]
• Like Taylor swift, Bon Jovi and Gwen Stefani, Jay-Z is suing an establishment for playing his music without paying. [TMZ]
• What's this? Justin Timberlake's new hair looks like his old hair? You don't say. [Gatecrasher]
• Adam Lambert is hoping one of his songs will be in the Twilight movie Eclipse: "It's kind of about vampires," he explains. "It's a great song. It's very theatrical ... very campy." SHOCKING. [Gatecrasher via MTV]
• Tragic times we live in: Britney Spears, Rihanna, David Beckham, Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom were all seen at LAX Monday — and they all few commercial. [Gatecrasher via X17]
• George Clooney's frequent flier tip: Wear slip-on shoes. "The shoes you have to tie, they take forever." But: "I never wear those goofy masks on my eyes. I am too worried about the guy in the next seat taking a picture of me. That is one photo that you can't live down." [People]
• Kim Kardashian has finally reached her "goal" in terms of her body, and you can see what that looks like in a pic at the link. [NY Daily News]
• Another amazing Twitter pic: Tyra and her real hair! [NY Daily News]
• The Russell Crowe Robin Hood movie promises to be "epic" and those involved are looking to "recreate that Gladiator magic." Production is "massive," claims Ridley Scott. Russell Crowe says: "I don't think there is a satisfying Robin Hood and that's one of the key reasons for wanting to make another one." Expect to see Robin with cropped hair and a beard, much like Maximus. [News.com.au]
• Clint Eastwood, who directed the Nelson Mandela film Invictus, says he finds Mandela "Christ-like." "There are just no people like this on the planet." [Showbiz 411]
• Stevie Wonder has been named a United Nations Messenger of Peace, which is a brilliant idea. [UPI]
• Rah rah ah ah ah: Barry Manilow hearts Lady Gaga. "I really think she's got something going for her," he says. [Reuters]
• Barry should know that a teen panel has declared that Lady Gaga and Jamie Foxx songs are the musical equivalent of junk food with "unhealthy relationship ingredients." But: "We aren't telling people what they should or should not be listening to," Barbara Ferrer, of the Boston Public Health Commission, said in a statement. "We are giving them a tool that will help them make an informed choice about what they put in their bodies." Fourteen teens attended a seven-week commission-sponsored institute on healthy relationship promotion and teen dating violence prevention, where they were taught to evaluate music based on themes of power, control, equality and gender roles. [USA Today]
• Sting was asked: "Do you feel uncomfortable travelling between various homes in various continents at enormous carbon cost?" by Newsnight's Jeremy Paxman, who added: You're not being blamed for the global crisis, you're just being called a hypocrite." Sting "squirmed in his seat." [Guardian]
• OMG OMG OMG: Joan Collins is hoping to take her makeover TV show Joan Does Glamour to the US! Hairspray, diamonds and shoulder pads for everyone! [Mirror]
• "Customers who buy a diamond at Ivanka Trump's Bridal Bar, where rings start at $15,000, will get a three-course dinner with champagne and a night in a Trump hotel in Manhattan." Get engaged — get a room. [Ny Daily News]
• Corey Feldman's going through a divorce and wants joint custody of his son and doesn't want to give his wife spousal support. [TMZ]
• Little Richard is out of the hospital after hip surgery and wants to work hard at recovery so he can "get back on the road as soon as possible." Let's hope he's feeling Tutti Frutti ASAP. [AP]
• Norah Jones has won her battle to transform the windowless side wall of her Amity Street mansion in Brooklyn's Cobble Hill by punching out 10 windows. [Brooklyn Paper]
• "Oscar-nominated actor James Woods has settled a lawsuit against a hospital in Rhode Island where his younger brother Michael died in 2006." [Mirror]
• Whatshername and Whatshisname reunited… To watch their son's nativity play. [The Sun]
• "I did show my line at Bryant Park, which is not in this season, but I knew that I had to really prove myself as a designer more than anybody else out there. There are so many celebrity lines and there are so many reality show lines, actually, that haven't really done well and haven't shown much design sense. So I had to prove myself even more, that I really did take this seriously. I think no one ever expected me to put so much heart and soul into it. I guess the verdict is still out regarding what they think of my talent." — Whitney Port. Lots more at the link. [LA Times]
• "We as a family are under a lot pressure. [People want] to make us look bad and wants us to fail. [With the Melrose Place firing, the world], again, always want to make it look like we're failures but we're really just a family that works hard. My children look at ups and downs and rise up above it all and remain strong...We're just normal people, and we always try to be who we say we are." — Joe Simpson on his daughters Ashlee and Jessica. [Us Magazine]
• "They are all different. I have died with my eyes open, which is more interesting than dying with your eyes shut. I can't remember how I died as Tolstoy, but I have done Cyrano de Bergerac on stage and I died with my eyes opened. I think that's marvelous, because in the theater the lights hold to your open eyes and it's kind of marvelously frightening for a second." — Christopher Plummer, who plays Tolstoy in his latest film The Last Station. [LA Times]
• "I think we should say something about class in America. It's the dirty little secret nobody wants to talk about… What about the people at the top who are evil and corrupt and don't want to change and don't want to give up the positions of power that they inhabit to make other people suffer and to make actual real horror in the world? They don't want to change. What do we do about them?" — Roseanne Barr tries to be the voice of the disappearing American middle class on her radio show, "The Tipping Point." [LA Times]
• "I think she's probably quite nervous... She's smart but make no mistakes, this will be a very different kind of show than what you're used to. Obviously everyone wants to sit next to me. I am thinking about pulling names out of a hat." — Simon Cowell on Ellen DeGeneres joining the judging panel on American Idol. [Mirror]
• "You can still contribute even if you are not as fortunate as I am. I've been blessed and I've been over-rewarded for what I do and I'm trying to give my time and my resources but you know, I'm a rich rock star, so shoot me." — Bono, urging people to buy products from the (RED) brand, which funds aid projects in Africa. [Telegraph]
• "A lot's changed since I was on TV. We have a black president now. Actually, Obama called me and asked me to help him with his campaign. He said he had two rules for me — don't use the 'N' word, and stay off TV. Figures the first black president would run on a platform of only taxing the rich, and now I'm rich!" — Dave Chappelle, in a surprise visit to Caroline's comedy club. [Page Six]
• "OK, so I didn't really go to high school parties. I didn't touch pot 'til I was in my 20s. I didn't get flat-out drunk until I went to college [Harvard]. But I think that's a good thing in many ways." — Natalie Portman. [Page Six via Marie Claire]
• "Not only is my performance raw in this film, but through most of the film I am naked from the waist down. So not only am I raw, I'm chafed." — George Clooney, joking about Up In The Air. [People]

• Nicole Richie has been complaining that she doesn't feel well for days, and now she's been hospitalized at Cedars-Sinai for pneumonia. Her rep says she's "doing well."

• On Sunday she Tweeted: "ok cold, it's been 6 days. Lets part ways graciously & keep it moving." [People]
• Amy Winehouse has spent a third night in the hospital after being admitted for mixing cold medications. [People]
• Michael Barrett has been officially charged with one count of interstate stalking for allegedly filming Erin Andrews in hotels around the country. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband Ojani Noa claims he's been receiving death threats since threatening to sell the video they made during their honeymoon. "She's having him followed. We just ran the license plate of the car . . . and it goes directly back to Jennifer Lopez. Ojani's scared," says his lawyer. [N.Y. Post]
• Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt reportedly got into such a bad fight this morning that the police were called. An eyewitness said Doug got in his car, but Paris screamed, "don't go, don't go." He got out of the car and they started shoving each other. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton denies that she and Doug Reinhart were fighting. She said: "Doug and I were in bed, sound asleep, when Doug's houseguests from hell got into an argument. We had nothing to do with it. Doug told the LAPD that his guests' fight was over and that we had nothing to do with it." [TMZ]
• Kate Major is planning to sue Jon Gosselin for breach of contract for violating their handwritten agreement. Kate resigned from her position at Star because, "Jon told her he would match the salary she was making at the magazine if she came to work for him as his personal employee," says a source. [Radar Online]
• Cindy Crawford's alleged extortionist, Edis Kayalar, cannot be extradited to the U.S. He turned himself in to German police on Monday, but the country doesn't have an extradition policy with the U.S. He is still facing charges because he's accused of emailing about transferring the money into a German bank account, which is against the law. [TMZ]
• The court has notified Roman Polanski's lawyers that a request has been made to allow TV coverage of his bail hearing on December 10. A judge hasn't decided if the cameras will be allowed or not. [N.Y.T.]
• Sarah Palin invited Levi Johnston to her house for Thanksgiving dinner on Oprah but he won't be attending. He told Playgirl it's "a nice gesture, but she didn't mean it." He said having dinner with the Palins would be "awkward." [People]
• The Sarah Palin interview gave Oprah Winfrey her biggest audience in two years. [Politico]
• We thought everyone knew this already, but Radar Online his confirmed that Carrie Prejean was over 18 when she took those nude pictures by analyzing her tan lines in various states of undress. It's unclear why she couldn't have tan lines at 17. [Radar Online]
• Carrie Prejean's dad says of her sex tapes, "The personal information they are bringing out against Carrie is irrelevant to anything." Will Prejean continues, "Carrie is supposed to be doing all of these TV appearances to promote her book, and everyone can only focus on the tapes... I'm not someone who looks backwards. I think we need to look to the future. Why isn't anyone talking about the charity work and all of the charitable organizations that Carrie's involved in?" [E!]
• In an interview on Good Morning America, Janet Jackson admitted that Michael Jackson's family staged several interventions about his drug use but "weren't very successful." She says he understood "that it was out of love," but in these situations, "people tend to be in denial." [TMZ]
• Somehow "Michael Jackson's estate" is fighting with Janet Jackson because her new song "Make Me" includes the line "Don't stop till you get it up," even though the people in charge of MJ's estate say they're unaware of the dispute. [ET]
• Sources say Evan Chandler, the father of the boy who accused Michael Jackson of molesting him, had been estranged from his family for three years before he committed suicide earlier this month and had changed his appearance with plastic surgery to avoid a backlash from the case. [Radar Online]
• Michael Jackson's kids attended the L.A. premiere of New Moon and avoided the paparazzi by sneaking in a side door. A friend says, "They loved it." [Showbiz 411]
• Whoa. Miley Cyrus may be the only 16-year-old who isn't into Twilight. "I've never seen it and nor will I ever," said Miley. "I don't believe in it... I don't like vampires. I don't like the wolf that pops out of the screen when I'm watching my TV at night. I don't like it. I don't want anything to do with it. I don't like the shirts. I don't like any of it." [People]
• Kristen Stewart says her character Bella "Has a lot of really innate female qualities... For a character in literature, I think it's awesome that so many girls can look up to her, because she's fickle and unabashedly (so)." [Reuters]
• Robert Pattinson says in his pre-Twilight life, "I loved driving around L.A. I know not a lot of people say that, but if you don't have to get anywhere, L.A. is the best place to drive 'round in. I used to have this little car, a convertible ... and I really do miss doing that, as the sun is going down, driving over the mountains. It's a great thing and I kind of do miss that a little bit. It's not really the same thing when you've got 10 cars following you." [AP]
• "I don't think there's something particularly alluring or topical about vampires right now that our generation takes to. I think it's more just that Stephenie [Meyer] wrote these characters with really creative, really gloried character traits. He's a vampire - he sucks blood and all that - but being a vampire is really just a symbol of who he is. I think if you take all of the mythical aspects away from the story, these characters would still be interesting. And they'd still stand. That's what people have become addicted to. At least concerning the fans. I don't think it's a vampire thing." — Kristen Stewart [Time]
• New Moon director Chris Weitz says he's quitting making movies after doing one more film. "Every time I make a movie I'm pretty much convinced it's the last time I'm going to be able to do it and that really it's a rather silly occupation to undertake," he says. "But I think I have maybe one more film in me." [People]
• Pamela Anderson says she has told her sons about the sex tape she made with Tommy Lee. "I knew the kids were going to watch [Borat] and there was a reference to the tape in the movie and they're that age and, you know, people are going start saying things," she said. "I just said, 'Look, Mummy and Daddy were massively in love, we videotaped everything, everything was videotaped, and you're probably going hear about something at school.'" [The Sun]
• Pamela Anderson says, "I've tried it (cocaine) and I don't like it. I'm completely hyper and it actually doesn't work for me. I've dabbled in things." [Contact Music]
• Nicolas Cage, a U.N. ambassador, went to a jail in Kenya to talk to the suspected Somali pirates. "Then I'm in a position where I can actually make some sense and talk about it when I go back to the States where I go talk to different U.N. councils and discuss the matter," Cage said. [AP]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber has be re-admitted to the hospital after developing an infection following surgery for prostate cancer. [AP]
• Penny Marshall has liver cancer, according to The National Enquirer. "Most people would have been devastated, crying on the shoulder of friends and family. But not Penny - she was angry!" said a family source. "The last thing Penny wants is for anyone to feel sorry for her." [National Enquirer]
• Jennifer Hudson will play Winnie Mandela in Winnie, Clint Eastwood's movie about Nelson Mandela's ex-wife. "I was compelled and moved when I read the script," Hudson said. "Winnie Mandela is a complex and extraordinary woman, and I'm honored to be the actress asked to portray her. This is a powerful part of history that should be told." [People]
• Clint Eastwood says the U.S. is "becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits..." [Daily Express]
• The Black Eyed Peas' manager, Liborio Molina, won't face charges for punching Perez Hilton in the back of the head. Here's what Molina wrote: 'I apologize for what I did on June 22 of 2009, even though you engaged in highly offensive comments, including a homophobic slur to my clients, I acknowledge that these kinds of issues should not be resolved through a physical response." [TMZ]
• Liborio Molina has also agreed not to contact Perez HIlton and cannot carry any weapons for a year. [AP]
• Precious will be awarded the Producers Guild of America's Stanley Kramer Award, which goes to a film that tackles provocative social issues in a constructive way. [N.Y.T.]
• Kirstie Alley Tweeted about being the butt of Conan O'Brien's fat jokes saying, "ONE BITCH I'm gonna knck [sic] out next time I see her is CONAN O'BITCH O'BRIAN [sic]. That guy acts like I bit his dick off." Star Jones Tweeted back: "You know Conan probably 'wanted some' and you chumped him...I know a few brothers from Brooklyn who owe me! LOL" [Us]
• Roger Moore was named the 2009 Person of the Year by the U.K. branch of PETA for campaigning against foie gras. [Reuters]
• Mariah Carey was late to the British show This Morning, so host Phillip Schofield Tweeted: "Sitting here twiddling our thumbs waiting for Mariah Carey. la la la laaa," before adding: "It's her album... which we will talk about IF she hurries up!" [The Sun]
• Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair got into a fight at a press conference in Australia. Some say it was staged to promote a wrestling even, but in the picture at the link Hogan's head is coated in blood. [TMZ]
• Fantasia Barrino's fans are upset because she's dating a married father of two who left his wife and kids to move in with her. [Star]
• Robin Williams, who split from his wife of 19 years in 2008, has found love again with graphic designer Susan Schneider. A source said, "Robin truly believes it's no coincidence that Susan came into his life right before his heart operation. He told a pal, 'She saved me - she helped me heal.'" [Daily Express]
• Tyra Banks tried to get model Jessica White, who has been seen holding hands with Sean Penn, to confirm that they're dating, but she said, "I hold hands with my friends." [Us]
• Daniel Radcliffe will guest star in The Simpsons' "Treehouse of Horror XXI" next season. [ONTD]
• Hugh Jackman has forgiven his mother for abandoning the family when he was young, and was spotted spending time with her in New York yesterday. "My mother was not well," Jackman has said. "I always hoped she would come back, but I never blamed her for anything that went wrong. At the time, I was miserable and angry, and my brothers and I used to fight all the time." [News.com.au]
• Carrie Underwood says she isn't moving in with her boyfriend Mike Fisher. "Call me old-fashioned. He's there. I'm here... We're both doing our thing and it's good. The next guy I move in with will be my hubby. Whoever that is. I'm not saying it's going to be him." [People]
• Jessica Simpson Tweeted about her sister Ashlee Simpson-Wentz's Broadway debut: "I can't wait to watch @ashsimpsonwentz on broadway in all of her glory!!! I get chillbumps from toes to noggin thinking about it!!! YAY!!!!!" [Us]
• Pete Wentz said, "I just spent the last weekend – Mom was rehearsing for Chicago – being Dad without a nanny, without Mom, and didn't burn the house down, so I'm pretty excited about that." [People]
• Jessica Szohr says "we had fun" shooting the Gossip Girl threesome. "Penn is really easy to work with and very professional and [so is] Hilary," Szohr said. "We just went with it and tried to make it as easy as possible." [Us]
• Sandra Bullock says her family didn't like her going blonde for The Blind Side. "It was entertaining for a couple of months but it's not really my color palette," she said. Her husband didn't like it either. "Thank God an important person in my life didn't want me being blonde. He was like, ‘I don't like the blonde on you. You want him to say that!" [People]
• "I want boobs, a gentle six-pack and a perky butt," says Amanda Peet. "If I could choose an ideal body, I'd take Gisele Bunchen's. I challenge anyone to say she wouldn't want Gisele's body, deep down... Actually, I'd take a number of people's bodies. I'd take Jennifer Aniston's, too." [People]
• Susan Sarandon is going to meet table tennis legend Jan-Ove Waldner when she travels to Stockholm to receive an award next week. "It was on her initiative, we just made the effort to find him," says Git Scheynius, director of the Stockholm Film Festival. "She's actually involved in a table tennis club in New York — that's one of her greatest hobbies." [Reuters]
• "I feel like I have learned a lot. The movies could not be more different," says Penelope Cruz of her upcoming films Nine and Broken Embraces. "To be able to sing for the first time professionally and dance, it was a scary experience. Broken Embraces is like three women in one. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world." [Reuters]
• Vera Farmiga says she was drawn to the film Up In The Air because, "I thought it was a refreshing spin on feminine desire. It's something you don't too often get to see, a woman being so demanding and libertine and unapologetic about her sexual prowess. She's an adventuress; she's a full-blown romantic operative. That was pretty exciting. And tricky. Because usually, female characters who are so masculine in their needs can come across as lacking dignity. Alex represents to me what's so hard about being a woman, post-feminist. Wanting it all: a family, a career. That sort of pendulum between romance and respectability, virgin-whore, all these lady problems we have to contend with and there will never be an answer to. A modern heroine of sorts." [L.A.T.]
• Heidi Klum says she's wearing something sexy when she hosts the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, even though she wants to lose weight. "I have some great one-of-a-kind latex pieces that were made for me. I figure why not? I embrace that I have more curves right now," said Klum, "I'm definitely one of the heaviest of the bunch of the 30 girls in the show. And I still have 20 lbs. to go... But why not? I like my outfit. I like the way it looks on me." [People]
• "I have a really big scrapbook. I still actually have these notes that Marty Scorsese wrote to me while we were making The Age of Innocence. I save everything. I definitely have that gene in me. Someone was telling me about this show called Hoarders. I was like, 'Oh no!' I save everything. I'm scared I might be a hoarder." — Winona Ryder [Daily Express]
• Martha Stewart says Rachael Ray is "more of an entertainer ... with her bubbly personality, than she is a teacher, like me. That's not what she's professing to be," adding, "To me, she professed that she could — cannot bake... She — just did a new cookbook which is just a re-edit of a lot of her old recipes. She — and that's not good enough for me." Rachael Ray responded: "Why would it make me mad?... Her skill set is far beyond mine. That's simply the reality of it... I'd rather eat Martha's than mine, too." [Us]

• Nicole Richie has obtained a restraining order, preventing two celebrity photographers from coming close to her or her kids.

Nicole claims that one of the snappers trespassed at her home and the photographers often stomp their feet on the ground to try to get a reaction from her. [AP]

• In court, Nicole Richie's lawyer called Joel Madden her husband, but he misspoke; the Nicole and Joel are not married. [TMZ]
• SHOCKER: Robert Pattinson will be People's "Sexiest Man Alive." [OMG Blog]
• Whoa: Oprah has to get a pay cut if she wants to keep doing her show? How will she be able to afford her favorite things?!?! [NY Post]
• Avast me hearties! Johnny Depp has agreed to a $35 million pay deal to be in the fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film, which makes him the highest-earning actor in Hollywood. That's a lot of dubloons, savvy? [Telegraph]
• Kate Hudson was asked if Alex Rodriguez actually has a painting of himself as a centaur in his house. She dodged the question, sorta, saying "That is the craziest thing anyone has ever asked me." Video at the link. [MTV News]
• Great Scot! Behold: Gerard Butler in a kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch" suspect Alexis Neiers pled not guilty to breaking into Orlando Bloom's house yesterday. [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton's brother Barron got one of the "Burglar Bunch" bounced from a club Saturday night. [Page Six]
• In case you missed it, Sarah Palin called Levi Johnston an aspiring porn star on Oprah. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Oh, and Sarah Palin won't go on Letterman, because: "I don't think that I'd want to boost his ratings." [NY Post]
• Levi Johnston's Playgirl shoot did not include full frontal nudity. [People]
• Anthony Michael Hall's ex-girlfriend has a restraining order against him after he allegedly stalked her and attacked her in her apartment. Farmer Ted's spokesman says: "All of the allegations are erroneous and will be addressed accordingly." [Page Six]
• The Los Angeles City Council would like to get back $3.2 million the city spent on Michael Jackson's memorial service. A spokesman says: "During these tough economic times right now, that's big money. We're laying off, people are getting furloughed...It's still money that we put out for a memorial service for Michael Jackson." [E!]
• Meanwhile, Joe Jackson is claiming that Michael Jackson's name was forged on his will and is trying to get the executors of the will fired. [TMZ]
• Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, Edis Kayalar, has turned himself in at a police station in Stuttgart, Germany. [AP]
• The Today show cancelled Al Roker's interview with Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, so, naturally, Spencer Tweeted some rude things about Al. For example: "WEATHERMAN I thought you were out of town today getting your stomache[sic] stapled again?" And: "you look very sick? Do you always look like your[sic] about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap- No one would even know?" [Us Magazine]
• A judge in Massachusetts has thrown out a lawsuit accusing Elisabeth Hasselbeck of plagiarism in her book about celiac disease. [AP]
• A paparazzo kept on calling Becki Newton "Kelly Ripa." So Becki rolled with it and did her best Kelly impression. [Page Six]
• Congressman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) thinks Carrie Prejean should have a career in politics. [TMZ]
• No one recognizes Robin Wright Penn with her dark hair. [Gatecrasher]
• Wait: Robin Wright Penn is now Robin Wright. And she was overheard at the screening of her film The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee saying: "This is all about new beginnings for me." [Page Six]
• Lady Gaga's tour without Kanye is already a success, as tickets are selling out super quick. [Gatecrasher]
• Ryan Reynolds and Anna Faris will star in TMI, a flick about too much honesty in a relationship. [Variety]
• Anna Faris has also been cast in a romcom called Wedding Bannned, in which she'll play Robin Williams' daughter. The story? "A long-divorced couple kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan is the top fashion party attendee in New York. [Page Six]
• Mary-Kate and Ashley threw a birthday party for the guy who wrote New York Minute, aka one of the worst movies I have ever seen. [Page Six]
• Twilight fans in LA are already camped out to see New Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Hey, look, a Britloid published a lie and apologized again! This time they printed erroneous info about Sharon Osbourne. [Daily Express]
• Mary J. Blige says her song for Precious is fairly personal: "I went into the studio and cried hard, reaching back." [Variety]
• Heather Locklear = "drama" and "diva antics" on the set of Melrose Place. There was a button missing on her jacket and she allegedly said: "You've got to be (bleeping) kidding me, right? What kind of operation is this?" Then she stormed off. Allegedly. [MSNBC via the National Enquirer]
• In the piece at the link, Heather Locklear talks about Melrose Place, saying: "I saw the pilot and I wasn't sure, still. But then I saw the second episode and I thought, 'This is really fun, the clothes are great and now they're starting to get into some story lines.' And I went, 'I'm in. If I'm not the one who killed Sydney, I'm in." [LA Times]
• Congrats to Adriana Lima and hubs Marko Jaric, who welcomed a baby girl, Valentina Lima Jaric, in NYC on Sunday. [NY Daily News]
• Tila Tequila has filed a lawsuit against her ex, football player Shawne Merriman. She's using pictures of her bruises as evidence. [TMZ]
• Wow, the CW might bring back Mischa Barton's show The Beautiful Life, even though it was cancelled after two episodes. Tough times? [NY Daily News]
• Tom Waits' daughter painted Hilary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi lying down and embracing each other in their undies?!?! [Page Six]
• RIP Ken Ober, host of MTV's Remote Control. [NY Times]
• "[We're] becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits." — Clint Eastwood, to GQ. [NY Daily News]
• "It is all on Steve. Steve Martin has done this before, while for me it is the first time. All the pressure is on Steve Martin." — Alec Baldwin is not worried about hosting the Oscars. [People]
• "Everyone seems to enjoy it. But I don't think it's that funny." — Kathie Lee Gifford on Kristen Wiig's impersonation of her on SNL. [NY Daily News]
• "[I had ] big boobs because I was breast-feeding; I was perfect for it. I wouldn't get cast now." — Nicole Kidman on her role in Nine. [Gatecrasher]
• "The idea that there has been a sullying of my image ... I'm not going to be buried with an Us Weekly. I don't give a (expletive) about it anymore, I can't worry about it and I don't worry about it. And I don't think people want me to worry about it." — John Mayer is all about the music, you guys. [AP]
• "When you say to a girl, 'I play golf,' her eyes glaze over. I do feel guilty about my golf. You know you're a sad case when you spend your spare time reading books on putting or going on YouTube to watch slow motion golf swings. I'll get out of bed in the middle of the night and practice my swing in front of a mirror. I'm obsessed and it's destroying my life. Golf is an addiction." — Hugh Grant. [Daily Express]
• "You're looking at someone who would get the belt every day. 'Will you shut up, Susan!' - whack! I was often left behind at school because of one thing or another. I was a slow learner… I'm just — I'm a wee bit slower at picking things up than other people. So you get left behind in a system that just wants to rush on, you know? There's nothing worse than another person having power over you by bullying you and you not knowing how to get rid of that thing." — Susan Boyle. [AFP]
• "My whole dating thing, I've been kind of chillin'… I mean, I'm Chris Brown. I'm not saying it like that, but it's just, like, girls are going to be around. I love women. But I would say I've just been chillin'. I haven't really been trying to get into a relationship or trying to date anybody." — Chris Brown. [MSNBC via MTV News]
• "I never planned to write a book. I wasn't planning on a career in writing, I wasn't thinking about stories I wanted to write down. But I had a dream… My husband thought I'd gone crazy. I didn't speak to him for ages because I had all these weird things going on in my head. I wasn't telling him about this vampire obsession because I knew he'd freak out and think I'd lost my mind." — Twilight author Stephenie Meyer. [Daily Express]
• "I finally had a healthy beautiful baby girl and I couldn't look at her. I couldn't hold her and I couldn't sing to her and I couldn't smile at her… All I wanted to do was disappear and die. [I believed] I should not exist. The baby would be better off without me. Life was never going to get better – so I better just go." — Broke Shields discussed her post-partum suicidal thoughts on Monday while receiving an advocacy award from the Hope for Depression Research Foundation in Manhattan. [People]
• "In Vancouver, shooting New Moon, I tried something. They have this thought that no one there wears hoods except for problem people. It's the only city in the world where hoods are not fashionable. It's like if you're wearing a hood you're going to mug people. So it's a boring disguise, but it worked when I wore a hood. And then I'd sort of spit on the ground a little bit and do a little bit of shaking around as you're walking. Everyone moved around to the other side of the street." — Robert Pattinson, on being "in disguise." [Time]

• Someone's been arrested in the Lindsay Lohan home burglary case — and it's not Lindsay Lohan!

Nicholas Prugo, 18, was arrested Thursday in connection with two break-ins: Lindsay's house and Audrina Patridge's house. Dina Lohan says: "Yes, we have found him, God is good." Man, we were sold on that In Touch story alleging that Lindsay robbed herself. [People, TMZ, TMZ]

• Lisa Ling will return to The View as a guest host on October 5. [ONTD]
• Elton John, who was branded "unsuitable" to adopt a Ukranian toddler because he's gay and old, may be able to be the kid's "guardian," which means the mother retains parental rights. The child is not an orphan, though he lives in a children's home; his brother lives there, too. [Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson's family thinks the This Is It movie is propaganda, to back AEG's claims that he was fit and healthy and ready to tour. [Page Six]
• Sad face: They're calling off the search for Jessica Simpson's dog, last seen in the jaws of a coyote. [TMZ]
• Halle Berry: Not pregnant, just full of burgers. [People]
• Although how Halle Berry could be full of burgers and get in to that dress is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, with special sauce, lettuce and cheese. [Daily Mail]
• BREAKING: Amy Winehouse had a lovely evening out with a "mystery man." [The Star, Mirror]
• Mystery solved: The dude Amy Winehouse was with is former flame Tyler James. A fan asked her for a kiss and she said, "Sorry, I'm with my boyfriend." [Daily Mail]
• While Chris Brown is doing his community service, he has three off-duty cops watching over him as a security team. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Garner is a prankster on movie sets. [Gatecrasher]
• Jennifer Lopez wore a dress by Victoria Beckham to the White House and it was… fitted. [Daily Mail]
• Avril Lavigne's marriage is really over. She posted a message on her blog which reads: "Deryck and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together… I admire Deryck and have a great amount of respect for him. Deryck and I are separating and moving forward on a positive note." [TMZ]
• Kanye West has been invited to the next Friars Club roast. [Page Six]
• Kanye West has been nominated for 9 BET awards. Will he show up? [NY Daily News]
• Kate Gosselin will be shooting the pilot for her new TV show with Paula Deen this weekend. The idea is to have several hosts, like The View, and comedian Sandra Bernhard and Tammy Lynn Michaels have both been considered for the job. [Radar]
• Paula Abdul told a radio DJ that she's going to be producing a show in Las Vegas and is also working on a project with the Laker Girls. [Eva Amurri, strip down for Californication, by all means, click the link. [Daily Mail]
• Samantha Burke, the lady impregnated by Jude Law, is possibly getting £120,000 from a magazine for pictures when the baby is born. [ Daily Mail]
• Someone showed the nuns at Sacred Heart girls school in New York video of Lady Gaga on stage bleeding; she is an alumna of the school. The nuns were not amused. [Page Six]
• Khloe Kardashian and NBA star Lamar Odom: Getting married. They've been "talking about rings." [E!]
• Is Anna Kournikova pregnant? Rumor has it she's carrying the spawn of Enrique Iglesias. [Gatecrasher]
• Ivanka Trump is keeping it classy and not selling wedding pictures, just releasing a single one. [Page Six]
• A man has been arrested for assaulting a security guard who tried to stop him from getting in a car with Ryan Seacrest. [AP]
• Clint Eastwood and Matt Damon just worked together on Invictus, and they will team up again for Hereafter, a thriller from Peter Morgan, who wrote Frost/Nixon and The Queen. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• A journalist asked Spike Lee if Do The Right Thing would get made today. "It would be very hard to make a film like this today," Lee said. "Not because the subject is irrelevant. I don't think the studios would do this. I have to thank Tom Pollock who was running Universal Pictures at the time. He put the weight of the studio behind me for this film and supported me, even when people wanted to waver and divorce themselves from the film." [Independent]
• "Of The Infernal Comedy: Confessions of a Serial Killer, the opera about the prostitute-mauling Jack Unterweger, that opened this year in Vienna and will tour in Europe and Canada next summer, John Malkovich says: 'It's actually a comedy.'" [The Daily Beast]
• Anna Nicole Smith is no longer with us, but she owes the State of California $43,280.66 in back taxes. [TMZ]
• The battle at the box office this weekend will be family-friendly Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs versus horror send-up Jennifer's Body versus the crappy-looking Love Happens with Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart. Odds are, Meatballs will win. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Perry is pissed that Aerosmith had to cancel their summer tour because of Steven Tyler's injuries. "I haven't talked to him in over five weeks. I don't know what's going on with him," Perry says. "All I know is he's got to get his act together. I mean, he and I haven't written a song together alone in the same room in over ten years, so there's been some changes in paradigm of what Aerosmith is." [AP]
• The director of The Cove, an award-winning documentary about Japan's dolphin slaughter, plans to attend a screening at the Tokyo film festival even though he could be arrested. [AP]
• "Miley Cyrus, Kelly Clarkson, Jordin Sparks lack power to carry 'Divas' label at VH1 concert… No matter the age, it seems, all one needs to be a diva in the land of VH1 is to miss a Y chromosome." [NY Daily News]
• RIP Guiding Light. [NY Post]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has been questioned by cops over her claims that she was raped by a celebrity. [Daily Mail, The Sun, The Sun ]
• Blind items! "With their partners away, celebs have been using Fashion Week as an opportunity to play! Which two pop stars made sweet music on Sunday night after the gal gave the guy a private lap dance? Hope his longtime girlfriend doesn't find out ... Which supermodel mended her recently broken heart over the weekend with the very-engaged bassist of a hot rock band?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q: When you auditioned for The Late Late Show, the producers told you that they loved the way you actually held conversations with the guests. A: "Yeah, apparently no one does that anymore. Instead, publicists work out what we'll say and who's gonna ask what. I'll ask you, 'Oh you bought a house?' And you say, 'Yeah I just moved and I got a dog.' And I'll say 'Tell me about the dog, is it named Spunky?' And you'll say 'Yeah, Spunky!' I don't do that." — Craig Ferguson. [Time]
• "It's pretty sad. She should have watched it more closely, though. She should have been more careful." — Martha Stewart, on Jessica Simpson's coyote-snatched dog. [Page Six]
• "Have you been in a Kmart lately? It is not the nicest place to shop." — Martha Stewart, whose products were sold at Kmart but will now be at Macy's and Home Depot. [ONTD via Daily Finance]
• "They took a beautiful man and put poison in his body. Why couldn't they have built him up nutritionally and got ten rid of the toxins? …I hate to be this controversial … but I have to speak out." — Suzanne Somers on Patrick Swayze. [Page Six]
• "I think that the music itself is very, very fun for the most part. I have a few more ballady, emotional songs. But lyrically, it's a little more docile - the music is very fun. I guess it's dance music - it's electro-driven but it's still soft." — Leighton Meester, on her new album. [ONTD]
• "When I read the pilot script, I thought, 'What a fun part this would be to play. How fun would this be?' But then all of these people said, 'It's perfect! You're perfect for it!' [My character] Jeff is a liar and a jerk. What am I supposed to say to that? 'Yeah, I guess so! Awesome!' It really makes me go, 'Wait, what do you mean?'" — Joel McHale on new show Community. [LA Times]
• "It's really, really awkward - any time you do a kissing scene or a love scene it's awkward but especially with this one. Neither one of us wanted to do it and we were both terrified but when you do scenes like that it's not at all sensual or sexy. You're in a room and it's full of these middle-aged crew guys who are like eating their sunflower seeds waiting for you to get it right so they can go home to their kids. They just don't want to be there." — Megan Fox on her kiss with Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body. [Mirror]
• "The Office is not one of those things you move away from. I don't want it to go away." — John Krasinski. [Guardian]

• Rihanna is currently on a beach in Mexico, and this picture on the cover of the NY Daily News is the first we've seen of her in a long while. [NY Daily News]

• Chris Brown's March 5 arraignment may be postponed because the LAPD is still investigating the case. A source told E! News, "The D.A. is being even more thorough than usual with this case. They don't want to mess it up." [E!]
• Kevin Federline is starting his own children's clothing line because he doesn't want to pay a lot for jeans. He says: "It's a really tough business, I'm trying to take it seriously and make a quality product for kids but not have parents pay like $500 or something ridiculous for a pair of jeans. You buy your kids a pair of True Religions, then they roll around in the dirt like kids do and a $200 pair of jeans is gone. With this economy, I'm looking to do something much more reasonable." Uh… All you have to do is shop at The Children's Place or Old Navy or Target or somewhere they don't sell True Religion for children. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meanwhile, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are suing baby buggy company Silver Cross, claiming the manufacturer unlawfully used a picture of the celebrity parents pushing twins Emme and Max in their strollers. Don't you know if you want J. Lo and Marc to endorse your product, you have to pay? [E!]
• It's hard to focus on this story about how Lily Allen likes naked lapdances and partying with Lindsay Lohan because the picture of Lily and Lindsay wearing black masks and showing off their "shh" tattoos is oddly mesmerizing. Question: Did we ever figure out what LL meant when she said the "shh" tattoo was a "woman empowerment thing"? [The Sun]
• Katie Holmes may be working on a flick in New York, but she plays "fourth fiddle" behind Kevin Kline, Paul Dano and John C. Reilly. Fox's Roger Friedman calls her movie career "over." [Fox 411]
• Slumdog's Dev Patel is in talks to appear on the real Who Wants To Be A Millionaire to raise cash for kids living on the streets. [The Sun]
• What's next for the stars of Slumdog? Lots more movies. [NY Daily News]
• Madonna is helping Rosie O'Donnell get through menopause. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Dita Von Teese signed a record deal. She will be singing now. Of course, she won't be warbling "All The Single Ladies" or anything: She plans to cover Irving Berlin's "Lazy." [E!]
• Keira Knightley was to play Cordelia in a £25 million film version of King Lear, but it's been scrapped. [Telegraph]
• Peaches Geldof was not allowed to drink at the NME awards; she placed an alcohol ban on herself. [Daily Mail]
• Jay Leno was questioned by a Writers Guild panel yesterday; they are trying to determine if he violated strike rules by delivering a monologue last year (during the strike). [Variety]
• LOL: Ever since Kellogg's dumped Michael Phelps, there have been oodles of negative stories about the brand. [Silicon Alley Insider]
• DMX is in jail, where he is not behaving himself: He stole a tray of food from the dining hall and threw it at a corrections officer. How would they handle this on Oz? [Perez]
• Chris Isaak has his own talk show, The Chris Isaak Hour, on the Bio channel. It starts tonight! Guests play songs and chat and hang out with Chris's dog. [USA Today]
• If you get divorced, the guys you date afterward, who put a "spark" back in your heartbroken life — Jennifer Aniston calls them "defibrillator men." [Daily Mail]
• "Big Poppa" has moved in with Real Housewives' Kim Zolciak. Yeah, he's married. [NY Daily News]
• In case you've been wondering what the hell she's been up to, Kate Bosworth is producing the film based on a book called Lost Girls and Love Hotels. [Gatecrasher]
• What the world needs now: A Jerry Seinfeld marriage-oriented reality show. Celebs, comedians and athletes will "judge couples in the midst of marital disputes while recommending various strategies to resolve their problems." I thee dread! [Hollywood Reporter]
• Brenda Blethyn opened a new library in her hometown and paid a fine for a book she borrowed 50 years ago. Bet Hortense loves this one. [The Sun]
• Clint Eastwood is the second person ever to received a lifetime achievement honor from the organizers of the Cannes Film Festival; he hot the Palme D'Or yesterday. Ingmar Bergman got one in 1997. [Reuters]
• The James Brown museum may be on hold, but there is a James Brown exhibit at South Carolina State University. See glittering suits and glossy shoes and the comb he used to neatly sculpt his hair. [AP]
• Star Jones's ex, Al Reynolds, is maybe getting engaged again, if you care. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which sleazy reality star is going to have a cow when he finds out there's a sex tape of him floating around? In it, he's having a threesome with his very best friend." [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm probably a little bit shocked but I remember the overwhelming thing was feeling like I was just floating on a cloud. I went into that event knowing that was my last rally but no one else knew that. So when I crashed and I realised we were both OK, it was a massive relief." — Eric Bana, on crashing his race car during a Tasmanian rally. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I sincerely hope that this tragedy will make people realize that great apes should never be kept as pets or exploited for films, television, or advertising. Their lives are miserable from the day that they are taken from their mothers... until they are cast off to roadside zoos or meet a violent end, as Travis did in this tragic case." — Anjelica Huston, on the chimpanzee attack. [Daily Express]
• "I think that at 12:30, either you're awake or you're not. I don't think the 10 p.m. will affect me at all. If we can do decent ratings, hold on to Conan's numbers, I'll be happy. It's a marathon, not a race. It's a long, long thing if it's going to work." — Jimmy Fallon. [USA Today]
• "The stars made by television who were once so big you just couldn't believe it-Johnny Carson, Carol Burnett, people like that, Sid Caesar-they were enormous stars made by television, but there were lots of real stars in America. Now everything is so vitiated because there is so much media, if we want to dignify a lot of it, it begins to just all run together. At least when you said "Clark Gable" or "Elizabeth Taylor" or "Katharine Hepburn," you knew exactly who you were talking about, you didn't have to explain them. Now you have to talk about people like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears and the people on the American Idol. I mean, it's very diminished in quality, I guess is what I'd say, the quality of stardom. Because I don't know who most of those people are. I'm not kidding! I read Page Six mystified every day, and everybody I talk to agrees with me. They don't know who anybody is." — Liz Smith. [The Daily Beast]
• "A real gossip story is Lana Turner's daughter killing Johnny Stompanato. It had all kinds of tragic ramifications-celebrity, sex, a little girl involved and so forth. I mean, who cares if somebody you've never heard of is sniffing cocaine in a bathroom down in Soho? That's the level of gossip today. There seems to me to be no real stories and the real ones all appear in the headlines-A-Rod taking steroids, though why anybody gives a shit I don't understand. You know, the real story of this year is Bernie Madoff, and betrayal, disaster and everything else, lives being smashed and ruined by somebody's criminal activity. But gossip? Even the ‘90s are beginning to look good." — Liz Smith. [The Daily Beast]
• "I thought that was something that you could use for humor, like any other comedian or someone else would utilize current events. After I saw the photographs of Rihanna, that wasn't funny anymore. There's a point you're already past a woman fighting you back. You look at (the photograph), and it obviously went past that point, so there's some issues there that definitely gotta be addressed. Not to take any shots at Chris or Rihanna or to take sides in any way, but it's really not cool. It's not funny at all anymore. That's why there won't be no more references to that from me in any way." — 50 Cent, who initially mocked the Rihanna/Chris Brown incident with a "Street Fighter"- like characters in an animated video. [MSNBC]
• "I was average. I had a lot of friends but I was not in that ultra cool circle. I was a bit of a class clown. I guess to get through the tedium of the quadratic formula, I thought everyone was fair game. Between self-discovery and the social hierarchy, high school can be the most confusing time of your life." — Zac Efron. [Mirror]
• "I'm so negative against her. She just shouldn't have any of those children as far as I'm concerned. I know that's going to get me in a whole mess of trouble, but I don't know where her mind is. She says the strangest things. I don't think she's doing drugs, but she acts like someone who is not of this world. It's like, 'hello, come down to Planet Earth with the rest of us!'" —Cher, on Nadya Suleman. [USA Today via ET]
• "My mom is like this hard-core, liberal feminist. She's a professor in Boston, and she's been teaching women's studies for 30 years and international politics. So I've traveled, and I've heard so many women's stories, and I've heard stories of really, really hard lives. And I just feel like there are so many stories to be told, and it's hard to find someone who can sort of intertwine them with the right kind of action and suspense and use genius metaphors ... while striking a chord with the universal theme of the search for one's true identity. I asked Joss [Whedon] to create it with me and for me, and it was really special to me." — Eliza Dushku, star of Dollhouse. [USA Today]

• Chris Brown's father claims that his son is "very remorseful" about his actions: "He's very remorseful. He's very concerned about the situation and he wants to make sure that [Rihanna's] okay," says Clinton Brown. [People]

• "This is unfortunate, this stumble, this situation," Brown continues, "Hopefully, he will get past it. We all have our shortcomings. We all trip." [People]
• Did Rihanna wear a jewel-encrusted eye patch to last year's American Music Awards to hide injuries from Brown? Police are now investigating. Sigh. [TheSun]
• Kerry Washington has spoken up in support of Rihanna: "I don't know the details of their situation, but I do know this is an issue that can't go ignored," Washington says, "If we talk about violence against women, my hope is we don't talk about it as petty gossip but as a social illness that must end. So if that's what's going on, then we need to all be aware this is a problem that goes from the Congo to Hollywood and everywhere in between." [People]
• Zac Efron almost ditched acting for a college degree: "My life was set, I was going to go to college, I was going to try to do something great, like be a doctor," he said. "It didn't really work out. I decided after I had done High School Musical and after I had done a couple of films that I wanted to go to college to study films. I had friends in the program and they just raved about it. I was so jealous that they were there. After I was accepted to go, I was deferred for one year and since then, I haven't really had time to go back."[ShowbizSpy]
• Hugh Jackman is pulling for Heath Ledger at this year's Academy Awards: "I can't hide the fact that I would really love for that honor to be bestowed upon him," Jackman says, "It would be fitting and I think he deserves it." [People]
• Katy Perry was surprised to find herself on a best-dressed list for once, after her Grammy Dress received high praise: "Usually I'm worst dressed on the red carpet," Perry says of the dress, "That was actually a plan-B dress. I had a dress specially made but it just didn't work. My stylist managed to find somewhere that was open just before the ceremony and he managed to find that one. It was so lucky. That was just my moment where I could look grown up and pretty."[ShowbizSpy]
• Dreamy James Franco reportedly wore "a blond wig, gold sparkly bra and purple high-heeled pumps" to accept his Hasty Pudding award at Harvard University. "''I couldn't ask for anything more. I've made it,'' Franco said. [NYTimes]
• Sparkly vampire Robert Pattinson says he wishes he had more time to sign autographs for fans: "You have to rush through everything so much," he says. "I just feel terrible every single time because people have queued up since 4 o'clock in the morning for five seconds...and that's it. I feel quite bad half the time." That sound you just heard was 8 billion 12 year old squealing, "Awwww!" [ShowbizSpy]
• Contrary to earlier reports, Lindsay Lohan has not signed on for a remake of Nightmare on Elm Street. [JustJared]
• Meanwhile, Lindsay's mom, Dina, is in a bit of tax trouble, and owes roughly $12,000 in property taxes. "My ex is in arrears for child support, and I think it has come from that area," Dina says, "Somebody out there is trying to do something to sabotage me and my family."[PageSix]
• Brandon Flowers of The Killers says that fatherhood has changed his views on romance: "I know the right time to send flowers. Sometimes it's not on the calendar and it's not about Valentine's Day - it's knowing when to do it. Now of course a romantic evening is all about getting the baby to bed early. That's when the romance begins."[ContactMusic]
• Is Chace Crawford dating Matt Damon's little sister? [PageSix]
• "Eighty is just a number. A lot of people are old at 40.It's too late for vanity. If I was 30, maybe, I'd say, 'Hey, that's not a good angle.' But there is no good angle now. So you just kinda accept it and go ahead."-Clint Eastwood[Guardian]
• Mandy Moore is allegedly considering asking her ex, DJ AM, to DJ at her upcoming wedding to Ryan Adams.[DailyExpress]
• Peter Gabriel has pulled out of the Oscars after the show's producers cut his stage time down to a measly 65 seconds. Meanwhile, the "How the Oscars Are Made And Why They Are Awesome" montage that nobody cares about will still clock in at approximately 9 hours and 54 seconds. [Reuters]
• Olympic Swimmer Amanda Beard is engaged to photographer Sasha Brown: "We got engaged on Christmas day," Beard says, "It was really simple. We decided to do Christmas by ourselves in our house in Tuscon. He had a little Tiffany's box, and it was hidden in this Santa statue that we had — his little sack — and it was perfect." Related: I am 12, because I read "his little sack" and immediately started laughing. [USMagazine]
• Morrissey is totally bored with today's music scene. "I think everyone is quite boring in music. I can't see any voices who are taking the plunge and risking anything," he says, "They're padding down the plank and everyone's just lining up and accepting awards. It's very, very difficult for me and very distressing. I can't see anyone who's very individualistic." The singer then paused and added, "What difference does it make? I'm too tired. I'm so sick and tired. And I'm feeling very sick and ill today. But I'm still fond of Hortense, whoa-oh."[ShowbizSpy]

• Amy Winehouse must be coming to her senses: she's given control of her £15 million fortune to her parents. She can't spend her own money without their approval, so drugs are probably out. [Mirror]

• Michael Phelps says of smoking that bong: "I engaged in behaviour which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment." And! "I'm 23 years old and, despite the successes I've had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner people have come to expect from me. For this I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again." [Guardian]
• Madonna, Guy Ritchie, and the kids all went to the same service at the Kabbalah Center in New York yesterday. Madge and Guy arrived and left separately, but things are "amicable." [Daily Mail]
• Madonna was spotted with that hot Brazilian model in New York on Sunday, Jesus Luz. Are Madonna and Jesus gettin' Biblical? [Perez]
• Britney's dad has obtained restraining orders against Adnan Ghalib and Sam Lutfi, who are "now working in concert to disrupt the conservatorship," according to the paperwork. Apparently Britney informs Adnan of where she's going, and he arranges for paparazzi to show up and photograph her for his financial benefit. Sam, meanwhile, tells Brit he's "trying" to "free" her from her conservatorship. [Extra]
• Get ready: Kate Moss wants to be an actress. [Elle UK]
• Wings and cupcakes: Jessica Biel threw Justin Timberlake a Super-Bowl themed surprise party in the penthouse of the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood. [People]
• Tommy Lee's helicopter was pulled over by LAPD. No, really. [TMZ]
• Foxy! Pix of Slumdog Millionaire's Freida Pinto as a young aspiring model. [Daily Mail]
• As for Slumdog's Dev Patel, he says: "If you asked me a year ago would I ever have been doing a movie with [director] Danny Boyle, I would have absolutely laughed in your face." [NPR]
• Aw, 9-year-old Rubina Ali, who also starred in Slumdog Millionaire and lives in a "one-room shack" with her family in a Mumbai slum, wants to be a Bollywood star. "I like films. I like poems and I like my school," she says. [Reuters]
• Jennifer Aniston's house: Still a construction site after 2 years of remodeling.
  Star]
• Ciao, Hollywood: David Beckham will leave the LA Galaxy and join AC Milan permanently, after getting approval from wife Victoria. [Mirror]
• Here's Victoria stepping out with Cruz and Romeo, who are wearing matching shirts. [Daily Mail]
• Is it really the end for Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy? A source says they are still speaking and this may just be a "blip." [Daily Express]
• Although Chelsy was out partying and kept talking about how she wants to go "home" to Zimbabwe. [Daily Mail]
• Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi had a joint birthday party where Samantha Ronson DJ'd and celebs like Jennifer Aniston and Drew Barrymore celebrated. Our invitation must have gotten lost. [ People]
• Chris Martin has been banned from recording with Coldplay for two weeks. [Mirror]
• Even though Warner Bros. didn't push for Gran Torino to win an Oscar, the movie is actually cleaning up at the box office, unlike some other nominated flicks.It's "Clint Eastwood's $110 Million Revenge." [Fox News]
• Billy Bob Thornton claims: "I’d like to do another movie with Angie one of these days. We talk all the time. She and I keep looking for something to do together; we just have to find the right thing." Sure, sure. [Daily Express]
• Even though Courtenay Semel beat up Casey Johnson last month and set her hair on fire, they are back in love and "soul partners." [Page Six]
• Kristen Johnston talks about her role on the new Absolutely Fabulous: She will indeed play Patsy, not Edina, as previously reported. And the show will be "different.": "We don’t smoke, we are hungover all the time, we chew Nicorette, we’re trying to be more PC, but I think it really works. It’s one of those scripts that’s like my favorite kind because on paper you’re like, Oh, this is funny, but when you read it out loud with two actresses, it’s, like, the funniest shit ever." [EW]
• Score: Snoop Dogg coached his Snoop Youth Football league team to victory! [UPI]
• Mary Lynn Rajskub and Janeane Garofalo get the giggles when shooting 24 scenes together. "If we make eye contact, forget it," Garofalo says. [USA Today]
• Check out Zoe Kravitz, all dolled up for a photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz. The pix will appear in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which heartthrob actor keeps turning up drunk to the set of his TV medical drama?" [Gatecrasher]
• Nick Lachey loves that his girlfriend is a sports fan, blah blah blah. [People]
• Is ABC Family, with shows that contain teenage pregnancy and underage drinking, too edgy to be called a family channel? [UPI]
• The latest ABC family shows are all "female-oriented," including one series called 10 Things I Hate About You, based on the movie. [Reuters]
• Lisa Loeb got married on Saturday! The lucky guy is Roey Hershkovitz, a music supervisor for Late Night with Conan O'Brien. The bride wore pink. [People]
• Kate Middleton's childhood home is up for sale. [Telegraph]
• Because the world could not function without his opinion, Sanjaya Malakar would like for you to know he approves of the 4th judge on American Idol. [UPI]
• John Cleese's ex-girlfriend says when Cleese dumped her via a message on her answering machine for lying about her age, she texted back: "Look, at least it wasn’t a sex tape." [Mirror]
• "To me, it's a party whenever I go to work. The writing is so wonderfully dark, and everybody's lying to everyone else, that it's funny. It was a very relaxed time for me — actually, way more relaxing than comedy. Comedy makes me uptight. Because in comedy, everything is not funny until that one thing that is. " — Ted Danson, best known for doing comedy, now getting attention of his dramatic role on Damages. [Washington Post]
• "Oh God, wasn’t that awful?" — Kristen Johnston, on Bride Wars, in which she had a small part. [EW]
• "I'm not a romantic guy at all. It’s not that I don’t believe in romance. It’s that I don’t believe in dinner for two by the ocean, walking down the beach holding hands – that version of romance. I think I'm probably romantic, but I’m not outwardly romantic. I'm not a player." — Jonathan Rhys Meyers. [People]
• "I loved [Vicky Cristina Barcelona character] Maria Elena, yes. I mean, I hope I'm not too similar to her! And I didn't want to ever think, 'Oh, I'm playing a crazy person.' Because I mean, who's normal? I don't know anybody that is normal." — Penelope Cruz. [CBS News]
• "I asked my agent if I could have my costumes in my contract – but she laughed in my face! I guess that doesn't really happen." — Isla Fisher, on Confessions Of A Shopaholic. [The Sun]
• "It was pretty tough turning 18. I realised that overnight I’d become fair game. I had a party in town and the pavements were just knee-deep with photographers trying to get a shot of me looking drunk, which wasn’t going to happen. I don’t have to drink to have a good time. The sickest part was when one photographer lay down on the floor to get a shot up my skirt. The night it was legal for them to do it, they did it. I woke up the next day and felt completely violated by it all. That’s not something I want in my life. I just kept thinking that if it had happened a day earlier people would have sued their asses off… I find the whole concept of being ‘sexy’ embarrassing and confusing… I know everyone wants a picture of me in a mini-skirt. But that’s not me. I feel uncomfortable." — Emma Watson. [Daily Mail]

• Russell Crowe has gone a bit mad on the set of Nottingham, throwing the film into a state of chaos. The star is demanding re-writes and reportedly trying to get director Ridley Scott fired. [PageSix]

• Yikes: Crowe's weight is also becoming a problem, leading Sienna Miller to leave the film entirely. The love scenes between the two were apparently "a mess. Russell never lost the weight he put on for 'Body of Evidence' - and so the love scenes between him and Sienna would have been laughable. He's so old and fat and she's so young and gorgeous. It's just . . . gross." [PageSix]
• Drew Barrymore isn't too thrilled about today's dating world: "When I first started dating, it was like the Pony Express. We had to be frickin' patient. And now everything is instantaneous. It's too much! Where is old-fashioned romance and a little bit of mystery?" She then went off to give her 18,982th interview entitled, "Drew In Love!" wherein she spilled all of her secrets about the 18,982th "love of her life."[PageSix]
• Meanwhile, Drew's BFF Cameron Diaz may be getting married to her boyfriend, Paul Sculfor: "Cameron and Paul are having a wonderful time and don't want to spoil it by pushing things, but they have used the m-word occasionally," says a source, "They're playing house in a serious way - both openly admit marriage scares them but they are very much in love and the subject has come up."[ShowbizSpy]
• The original Girls Next Door are no more: Bridget Marquardt is finally leaving the Playboy Mansion. ""It's unrelated to Holly and Kendra moving out," Marquardt says, "Hef and I have a really special relationship. This all has nothing to do with my feelings for Hef. I care about him very much. It's just a good time for me to become my own person."[USMagazine]
• Robert Pattinson credits James Dean with his on-screen success: "I tried copying James Dean's accent just because I've always wanted James Dean's voice,"Pattinson says, "I think that is why it has worked. Everyone loves a bit of James Dean." Or perhaps "it has worked" because there are crazy women out there who actually think you're a sparkly vampire, no? [ShowbizSpy]
• Gael Garcia Bernal is a (dreamy) dad: he and his girlfriend, Dolores Fonzi, welcomed a son this week. [USMagazine]
• Britney Spears is reportedly "spying" on her ex, Kevin Federline, and his new girlfriend, Victoria Prince. "Britney has asked her boys what Victoria is like and if she spends the night," says a source, "She has also asked her bodyguards to milk information out of Kevin's bodyguards and quizzed his nanny and friends. She's been texting people, asking what's up with him and Victoria." [ShowbizSpy]
• Singer Jill Scott is pregnant with her first child. "The first trimester I spent in Botswana," Scott says, "That was one of the biggest challenges of my life. First trimester! You're sick every morning. It was seven hours time difference, the heat, the bugs, the 14 hour days." [People]
• In awesome band news: the Fleet Foxes will be making an appearance on SNL on January 17. [Pitchfork]
• But perhaps even more awesome is the fact that Liza Minelli will be making a guest appearance on tonight's SNL, which is being hosted by Neil Patrick Harris. Madness! [Broadway World]
• Pixie Geldof will be following her sister, Peaches, in posing in her underwear for Agent Provacateur. Meanwhile, my sister will be following in my footsteps by eating Oreos and chocolate milk for breakfast. [DailyMail]
• Lindsay Lohan says her partying past gets in the way of people taking her seriously: "hat hurts me the most is that I work just as hard as any other actress around my age, like Scarlett Johansson, but I just don't get the opportunities that they get. People are so distracted by the mess that I created in my life. But that doesn't mean it's going to last forever."[TheSun]
• Seth Rogen has written an episode of the Simpsons and will be adding his voice to the episode as well: "He wrote an episode we'll be reading soon, where Comic Book Guy creates a superhero comic which then gets made into a feature film," Matt Groening says, "Homer plays the lead and, to slim down, Seth Rogen will play his personal trainer." Whatever! We all know that Homer prefers to slim down by unleashing the awesome power of apples. [E!]
• Is Wilmer Valderrama dating Pink!? [Celebuzz]
• Sandra Bullock may be signing up for Speed 3:"Producers are looking at a lot of old franchises in order to secure box office hits and Speed is just one of those," a source says, "Sandra is still a popular star and another Speed movie is there for her should she want to do it. It would be a modern twist on the old theme." Meh. Can't we just get a While You Were Sleeping 2 instead? [ShowbizSpy]
• Wacky brides have no chance against a cranky Clint Eastwood with a shotgun: Gran Torino beat Bride Wars at the box office on Friday, bringing in $9.8 million— $1.8 million more than the Hathaway/Hudson mess. Your flower power is no match for his glower power![DeadlineHollywood]
• And finally, with what is perhaps the most hilarious opening line of the year, the Associated Press tells us that "R. Kelly can officially bump and grind with whomever he chooses: He has finalized his divorce from his wife." The accompanying headline? "R.Kelly No Longer Trapped In Marriage." Tremendous![NYTimes]

Hidden amongst the vapid muck are a few genuine pearls of wisdom, like this quote from Clint Eastwood:

As you get older, you're not afraid of doubt. Doubt isn't running the show. You take out all the self-agonizing.

And Eminem’s secret to a happier life:

If you don't overlook the fact of what you look like, then no one else will.

And then there’s this little gem from Shepard Smith:

Facts are good things to have when making decisions. If Sarah Palin didn't know that Africa was a continent, I think that's information that people could have used.

While Chloe Sevigny does not offer any significant insight about the meaning of life, she does hit on something that has bugged us before:

I always found it distracting to be watching a movie and there was a love scene and the girl had her bra on.

On the other hand, we have Paris Hilton:

The best thing I've ever bought with money is my house. I call it my Paris Palace. It's beautiful. Every room has beautiful crystal chandeliers and amazing moldings from Italy. When people come over they say, "Hey, this looks just like you."

And Jeb Bush:

The best thing that's happened in my brother's eight years in office is that since September 11, 2001, we haven't been attacked on our soil. Given the fact that there are a lot of well-financed people in groups whose organizing principle is to destroy America, I would say that's a pretty good accomplishment.

But the wisdom of Dwight Shrute (why is he on this list? Does Esquire think The Office is reality TV?) falls into a category of its own:

The difference between sex and love can usually be complicated, but I think I've found a way to keep them straight in my head: You love your parents, but you sex your girlfriend. I have it written down in a couple of places.

From Hollywood To Washington, 10 Celebs On The Meaning Of Life [Esquire]

• As part of his ongoing campaign to be named "classiest new dad in America," Pete Wentz has announced that he's tried wife Ashlee Simpson's breast milk, and he thinks it tastes "weird" and "sour." [Babble]

• This morning it appeared that Jennifer Aniston had beaten the Jolie-Pitts once and for all since her dog movie earned $10 million more than Brad's possibly Oscar-worthy film over the weekend. But now reports are surfacing that Jen's romance with John Mayer is on the rocks again. The recent uncharacteristic PDA was just a stunt to promote her film and the two spent Christmas on separate coasts. So, point Jolie-Pitts? [The Daily Mail]
• Star reported earlier today that Tara Reid was offered free rehab at Promises as a publicity stunt to drum up business for the $1,600 a night facility. But Promises has issued a statement insisting the story is untrue and demanded Star take the story down. [Perez Hilton]
• The REPCA has started a "fact-finding exercise" to determine if Prince Edward struck his Labrador retriever after photos of him possibly hitting his dog with a walking stick surfaced. Buckingham Palace claims the prince was just waving his stick to break up a fight between his two dogs over a dead pheasant. [BBC]
• Joe Francis is being sued by the man who bought his $6.5 million house because Francis and the subsequent owner did not disclose that the house had problems with the decks, the paint, the caulking, the walls, and the windows. Francis, who just flipped the house and never actually lived there, said, "I'm sorta bummed out that it might cost me $3 million and I never got to have one naked girl in that jacuzzi." Yeah, we're crying for you Joe. [TMZ]
• In these photos Prince Harry demonstrates his awesome beer bong technique, proving he's got what it takes to assume the British throne if necessary. But he's got some competition — no one chug-a-lugs like Lizzie II! [TMZ]
• Dallas Cowboys' quarterback Tony Romo collapsed in the locker room shower after a losing game on Sunday. Medical staff were on hand and he walked out of the locker room on his own, but he needed help leaving the podium at the press conference afterwards. Somehow, this must be Jessica Simpson's fault. [Perez Hilton]
• Zooey Deschanel is engaged to a rocker, but which one is unclear. Earlier today In Touch reported that AFI bass guitarist Hunter Burgan was the lucky man, but now Us claims they were lying! She's actually engaged to Death Cab for Cute front man Ben Gibbard. We say whichever dude you're marrying, congrats! [Just Jared, Us]
• Apparently, Regis Philbin's son from his first marriage, Dan, suffers from a spinal cord defect and had his legs amputated years ago. Now he's been unemployed for three years and his family is so poor that his wife has turned to the National Enquirer to beg her ostensibly stingy father-in-law for money. Something tells us Reeg won't be chatting about his adorable family troubles on air tomorrow with Kelly. [Perez Hilton]
• Jude Law spent his 36th birthday today with ex-wife Sadie Frost, adding fuel to the rumors that they've rekindled their romance. The two are spending the Christmas break together in sexy Rio de Janeiro ... with their three children. [This Is London]
• After starring working together on The Spirit, Samuel L. Jackson and Scarlett Johansson are officially BFF. [The Star]
• Clint Eastwood, 78, says it's hard for him to find sufficiently "edgy" acting roles, so he may stay behind the camera for a while. He's already working on directing a film about Nelson Mandela starring Morgan Freeman. [CNN]
• For those of you aware that Sienna Miller's nude photo co-romper Balthazar Getty is on Brothers & Sisters, he may be leaving the show. [E!]
• J.Lo's publicist says she and husband Marc Anthony are fine and they went shopping together last week. So obviously all those rumors that they're breaking up are just damn dirty lies. [E!]
• Finally, we're not sure what to make of this: Britney is in India with choreographer Sandip Soparrkar. This is supposedly what she had to say: "Rajasthan is an amazing place, and I feel like an Indian princess in this ghagra-choli with gold work that Sandip gifted me.” She adds, “Sandip and I have decided to spend New Year together. I wish the media would not probe our relationship till we wish to bring it out in the open.” Yes, the princess part is straight Britney, but we somehow doubt these actual words came out of our Brit Brit's mouth. Is it possible the Times of India didn't know the proper translation for "y'all"? [Times of India]

• Video of Madonna falling yesterday during a concert in Brazil. She played it off, did a yoga stretch, then proceeded to French kiss a dancer dressed in Like-A-Virgin-duds, so everything's cool. [The Life Files, PopSugar]

• By the by, it looks like Guy Ritchie is getting around $76 to $92 million from Madonna in the divorce settlement. No wonder he's been looking so giddy lately! [AP]
• Her rep says Michelle Williams will not be accepting awards for Heath Ledger if/when he gets any at the Golden Globes or beyond. TMZ]
• For some reason, Brooks Brothers wants you to know that yes, they make the tie that is touching Jennifer Aniston's breasts on the cover of GQ. They announced this news with an email which read, "BROOKS BROTHERS 'TIES UP' JENNIFER ANISTION ON THE COVER OF JANUARY 2009 GQ." How S&M! [Jezebel Inbox]
• Twilight author Stephanie Meyer promises that despite a new director, the next movie, New Moon will be "as close to the book as possible." So… bad, then? [E!]
• The good news is Rachael Ray might not have to get vocal surgery; the bad news is that means that she can keep chatting away. Does anyone else find her voice grating? [People]
• Whoopi Goldberg will star in Stream, a sci-fi miniseries on FearNet the web and on demand. She'll play a haunted woman who resides in a psychiatric facility, but because of a drug she took as a teenager, experiences various stages of her life past and present at the same time. Isn't this called Alzheimer's? [MediaWeek]
• Mott's first ads in more than a decade will use Marcia Cross to shill applesauce and tap into the Desperate Housewife demo. Uh, sexy? [BrandWeek]
• Sam Mendes talks about what it was like to direct his wife, Kate Winslet, in Revolutionary Road: "I would open my eyes in the morning and there Kate would be, going, 'Great! You’re awake! Now let’s talk about the second scene.' She loves to bring home work. She wants to talk about literally every full stop and comma, and so I realized that for 24 hours a day I had to basically treat her like my leading actress." [W]
• Filmmaker Dino De Laurentis thought Meryl Streep was "too ugly" to be in the 1976 flick King Kong, and said so, in front of her, in Italian. Little did he know that Streep had been studying the language. "When I replied in Italian," she says, "he looked like he had been shot." In any case, role went to Jessica Lange. Oh, and this paper's headline makes it seem like Streep was too fug to play King Kong, which is just mean. [Daily Express]
• Brody Jenner says he and the contestants on his new MTV reality show Bromance actually cry: "I did this whole sit-down with these guys, which we called Broprah," Jenner says. "I was sitting around and would say, 'OK, now tell me about...' and then all of a sudden it got to be like, 'Whoa!' We're uncovering some deep stuff. These big, grown guys are sitting around crying over being friends with a dude." Give the kid a fucking medal. [E!]
• Russell Crowe will no longer pour cash into the rugby team he owns, because it's time for "the business to stand on its own." [League HQ]
• This was in last week's Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Jennifer Aniston loves Pokies, the plastic nipples you slide into your bra. A source claims: "They really make the most of her assets when she's wearing a tight top." Eyeroll. [Star]
• Melrose Place and One Tree Hill on the CW? Snooze. [E!]
• Talk about assy: Marlon Brando and Robert Duvall used to moon people on the set of The Godfather. [Daily Express]
• Remember when Julia Ormond was going to be the Next Big Thing? She's back, after 10 years. "I needed breathing space," she says. [NY Mag]
• "The best gift to give is one where you actually listen to the person's desires and you think of them months before any kind of gift is actually needed—that's the best kind of gift there is: a thoughtful one. My favorite gift I've received is my dog—a chocolate lab named Esmerelda." — Anne Hathaway. [Elle.com]
• "We live in more of a pussy generation now, where everybody's become used to saying, 'Well, how do we handle it psychologically?' In those days, you just punched the bully back and duked it out. Even if the guy was older and could push you around, at least you were respected for fighting back, and you'd be left alone from then on." — Clint Eastwood. [Esquire]

• Good Morning, you have new president. His name is Barack Obama. No, he cannot start today. But soon. And he says: "If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy… tonight is your answer." [People]
• Oprah on Barack Obama's win: "It's one of the greatest moments I could ever even imagine. That's how great it is." [ET]
• Courteney Cox and David Arquette hosted a Barack Obama victory party at their house in Beverly Hills. Jennifer Aniston, Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher were in attendance; champagne was had. Meanwhile, in Chicago, Brad Pitt and Oprah Winfrey watched Obama's speech live. Also psyched: George Clooney and Usher. [E!]
• George Clooney: "I congratulate President-elect Obama on his historic victory, and now it's time to begin unifying the country so we can take on the extraordinary challenges that this generation faces." [ET]
• Oprah again: "This is democracy at its finest." [ET]
• In other news, Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with twins. Supposedly. More in Midweek Madness. [Star]

• Britney Spears is on the cover of Australian Cosmopolitan, and they used a photograph tat is five years old. She looks good, though. [TMZ]
• Nikki Blonsky will guest star on Ugly Betty as an assistant from a rival magazine. Will there be an airport-style kerfluffle? [E!]
• Perez Hilton got served! With legal papers: Liz Silver, who runs the Web site PerezRevenge.com, is accusing him of plagiarism and copyright infringement. She had a friend crash his Halloween party and hand him papers. [Page Six]
• Blind items! 1. "Which aggressive TV, stage and movie actor has a shady past? Rumor is he sexually assaulted a girl while in high school and his family had the situation 'swept under the rug.' 2. "Which screen god isn't as happy as he and his paramour would like the world to think? Whenever the couple and their children are in LA, he 'goes to a bar in a Beverly Hills hotel and drinks for hours before going home." 3. "Which oft-photographed socialite/designer is losing her grip on the fashion world? Luxury brands no longer send her clothing and accessories and don't want her in their ad campaigns." [Page Six]
• Holly Madison is "depressed" about calling it quits with Hugh Hefner, but basically, she claims, "I got too old for Hef." Yeah, that's right: She's 28 and too old for the original Playboy. She now sleeps in a guest room. "I still work for him. We're still best friends. I still call and check in on him almost everyday." [Newser via Extra]
• More from Holly: "It might be refreshing to date someone who is not high maintenance. Sorry, Hef, you know you're high maintenance. I love you but you know you're high maintenance." [Perez Hilton]
• The rest of Janet Jackson's tour: Officially canceled. They say scheduling conflicts. Could it also be vertigo? Or crappy ticket sales? [Perez Hilton]
• Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty are both off of NME's "Cool List" this year. Drugs and jail are bad for your career, kids! [The Sun]
• CNN's Christiane Amanpour may finally get her own show. It's about time! [Page Six]
• A top Hollywood agent — who repped Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Aniston and Matthew McConaughey — insulted his clients, stole gifts sent to them, and discussed their private parts, a lawsuit alleges. [Page Six]
• Angelina Jolie explains War and Peace in her household: "We don't take war and violence lightly, but we don't hide it from anybody. Listen, my kids play video games. I let them play with toy soldiers. We say, 'Mommy and Daddy have movies where we play these characters, but there's real death and real violence in the world. There's a real responsibility there to create in their minds the difference between the two." Also, when Mommy visits Afghanistan, she wears a flak jacket. [People]
• Anne Hathaway's new man is an actor named Adam Shulman. He's cute. [Perez Hilton]
• The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) is not happy about when Nelson's use of "that's so gay" in a scene with Milhouse on The Simpsons. [TMZ, E!]
• 50 Cent's new TV show, 50 Cent: The Money and the Power, airs tomorrow on MTV. Fourteen "wannabe moguls" compete to earn a $100,000 investment from the rapper by doing challenges like walking through Brooklyn chained together. No, really. There's a clip. [People]
• Christina Aguilera's new TV commercial for Target has a comic-book feel, meaning she wears a red jumpsuit and a cape. At least she seems to know who Roy Lichtenstein is. (There's video of her talking about the spot.) [People]
• Don't tell anyone, but Keanu Reeves is a secret genius. He reads Proust and stuff. Shh! [Newser via Details]
• Cammy Diaz: Seen smoking like a fiend and being rude at Drew Barrymore's Halloween party. [Page Six]
• Charlie Sheen left his pregnant wife at home to go party at get lap dances in Las Vegas because he is Charlie Sheen. [Star]
• Guy Ritchie has hired a top family lawyer to handle his custody battle with Madonna. She's already got a top divorce lawyer. Ever heard the joke about he little girl at the cemetery? She asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" Her mom said, "Of course not, Why would you think that?" And the girl answered: "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'" [Daily Mail]
• Guy Ritchie went out for drinks and now the Brit tabs are calling him "Tipsy Ritchie." [The Sun]
• Tina Fey's Emmys and SNL appearances may be translating into more 30 Rock viewers. She deserves it! [AP]
• Hindu leaders are not amused by Heidi Klum's Kali Halloween costume. [Best Week Ever]
• Katie Holmes and Rebecca Gayheart were friends 16 years ago, way before Katie met Tom Cruise. According to Roger Friedman, after Katie met Tom, "Gayheart, like most of Holmes’s friends, never saw her or heard from her again." But now Gayheart's in a Broadway play right around the corner from All My Sons. Will they reunite? [Fox 411]
• Have mercy: Janice Dickinson was on some afternoon court TV show, being sued by one of her former models. Judge Christina (???) listened to her crazy-ass defense are ruled in her favor. [ONTD]
• Sharon Osbourne on Simon Cowell's break-up: "He deserves it. He's a t****r, that's the truth." Hmm, what's that word there? Tosser? Anyone? [Mirror]
• Simon Cowell gave Terri Seymour $5 million cash and another $4.6 to buy a Beverly Hills home as a parting gift. Simon, break up with me next! [MSNBC]
• Oh, and Simon says: "Don't worry about me - I don't need a lonely hearts ad. I'm off women now." [Mirror]
• Daniel Craig in a Bollywood film? "I am open to offers from India… Till now I haven't been fortunate enough to get hold of an Indian movie. But yes, I will be very honoured and excited to work with an Indian actor or actress on any given chance. I also feel very obliged for the immense popularity which I enjoy in this part of the world." [ONTD]
• Katie "Jordan" Price was named Britain's Best-Loved Celebrity Mum because "she's not perfect." [Mirror]
• Liz Hurley's husband likes it when she dresses like a tart. "Like the vast majority of men, Arun likes short, tight, sexy dresses." Here's the good news: So does Liz. [The Sun]
• Expect to see a lot of Jennifer Hudson headlines like this (this isn't the first one): "Hudson Begged Mother To Move Out Of Neighborhood." [Daily Express]
• Denis Leary is the voice of Ford Trucks. Don't worry, he makes no mention of autism in the commercials. [Business Week]
• Singer Duffy accidentally set her hair on fire in her dressing room in Cleveland. Candles are soothing yet dangerous! [ONTD]
• Matthew Broderick quotes Ferris Bueller in this prObama video. [Newser via HuffPo]
• Carrie Underwood won't tell you who she voted for, so stop asking. [People]
• Cindy McCain "has this evil queen beauty about her," quoth Project Runway's Austin Scarlett, whilst seen voting in New York. [NY Observer]
• Apropos of nothing: "Mariah Carey's Top 10 Maddest Moments." [Mirror]
• Audrina of The Hills moved out but LC was cool with it blahblahblah JustinBobby blahblahblah. [People]
• Corrie Loftin of Paris Hilton's My New BFF was once ins a Girls Gone Wild video. And hanging out with Paris is different… how? [E!]
• "Sporty Spice," Mel C says: "I know there’s been a lot of things written recently saying I’m getting married and they’ve said the date and the church and that Victoria’s organizing it, but, no, we’ve got no plans." Seems she wants to have the baby first. [The Sun]
• Did Ivana Trump's young Italian husband cheat on her with a hot Italian model? "Nothing sexual happened. That I know for sure," she writes in Page Six Magazine. "I'm not going to make any other comment until I speak to him." Good idea! [Page Six]
• Selena Gomez, 16-year-old budding Disney star, was asked if she reads tabloids: "Recently, I have not. I'm actually very, very proud of myself. Honestly, the blog sites and everything — I'd be on them nonstop. I've gone four weeks total without looking at them and I'm very proud and very happy. I was addicted. It was bad." [LA Times]
• Courtenay Semel's dad, former Yahoo CEO Terry Semel, has cut her off. What's a girl to do? A reality show, obvs. [Page Six]
• For the last time: Joe The Plumber did not hook up with any SNL cast member. [Politico]
• Simply Red's Mick Hucknall, yes, that's right, Mick Hucknall, paid £29,000 for a pair of David Beckham's football cleats in 2002 and they seem to have lost about £25,000 in value since then. Surely he's wishing he really could be holding back the years. [Mirror]
• Reading about Bianca Jagger being in an argument over a €200,000 ring she lost in Salzburg earlier this year is like reading about a goblin surfing on Mars: Sounds interesting, but I just can't relate. [Yahoo News]
• Very cool, worth-your-while profile of Diahann Carroll. She says: "Dynasty was rather marvellous, you know. It was all about the clothes. The most important thing about the day was wardrobe, and of course I explained to Aaron [Spelling] I didn't want to be on the show unless I could be bitchy." She also says: "I lost two children [to miscarriage]. That's why when we talk about racism it will always take third, fourth, fifth place to some of the other things that have happened to me that are much more meaningful than being in a room with an idiot who is going to judge the color of my skin." [Guardian]
• "Having a love is a gigantic bonus in life, but I wasn't unhappy when I was single, either. (John)'s just fun, so much fun. I'm very happy now." Bo Derek, who's living with John Corbett, aka Aidan from Sex And The City. [The Sun]
• "I enjoyed being Mayor of Carmel, but you do see that it is very difficult to get things done. You just have to lose your soul. You have to bullshit people. You have to deal with people you don't care for and will never be friends with, so you kind of sell yourself out to be a politician. You have to kiss it up with the world. That ain't my style." — Clint Eastwood. [Daily Express]
• "I'd always fall for guys I wanted to save. For the first time, I fell in love with someone who saved me." — Jessica Simpson on Tony Romo. [People]
• "I would rather be sexy like Simone Signoret or Anna Magnani than like - oy, vey - Paris Hilton" - Erica Jong to More. [Page Six]
• "Barack Obama's treated like the Messiah in England. We don't have particularly inspirational politicians, certainly no one who can draw crowds in the thousands." — Daniel Radcliffe. [Page Six]
• "I think every black kid will tomorrow will be one inch taller when he goes to school. And I think everyone will be energized. And a lot of people who had given up hope in the last seven eight years are hopeful." — Richard Belzer. [Observer]

[CNN , TMZ, People]

Time:

Decisiveness is fine, but it raises the question: What does it take to satisfy Clint Eastwood? Sometimes the answer is: Not much.

Or too much, as here in Jolie's high emoting. With flaring red lipstick on a face that hasn't seen much time in the California sun, and with a grieving matched in severity only by her will to learn the truth, Jolie is supposed to be a regular working mom who rises to meet the challenge of dreadful events. The actress is capable of many things, but being ordinary isn't one of them. Jolie seems to know that her startling, cartoonish, monumental beauty is a handicap here, so she goes bigger in her movements. A stream of tears stains her Kabuki makeup; her sighs come with shrugs worthy of Atlas. Underplaying would have helped. So would the casting of an actress who's less glamorous and, I have to say, more human — someone like Naomi Watts.

NPR:

Based on police files, J. Michael Straczynski's script is too stuffed with incident to have much room for psychological nuance. The characters are either upright or malevolent, depending on whether they represent the average man or the decadent establishment. Even Malkovich, whose performances usually have a sly undertone, portrays a character with no apparent self-interest. Only Harner's accused murderer is intriguingly (and disturbingly) unpredictable.

The Wall Street Journal:

The clumsy dialogue and stolid performances in secondary roles deserve one another; an exception is a showy but genuinely creepy performance by Jason Butler Harner as the psychotically jovial mass murderer. The story abounds in anachronism, both verbal and dramatic: People didn't talk about self-esteem in the 1920s; they didn't call groups of reporters "the press"; the phrase "begs the question" meant "evades the question," exactly the opposite of what it means today; and women like Christine simply didn't behave as she does in an outlandish climax, however much Angelina Jolie may have wanted to cross Ida Lupino with Erin Brockovich.

Los Angeles Times:

Though "Changeling" stars actress of the moment Angelina Jolie, Eastwood's films are invariably old-fashioned, in the best sense, in that they are concerned with telling a story. Increasingly over this last five years the stories told have darkened, and "Changeling" unfolds with a melancholy fatalism, a sense of evil so pervasive it takes an act of will to believe that the persistence of goodness can make a difference.

USA Today:

But key characters lack dimension, particularly Capt. Jones and Christine. He has no redeeming qualities, and she has no flaws. It's as if Eastwood forgot to give her a personality. Instead, he calls for repetitive and unrevealing close-ups of her suffering face. Her lack of affect is punctuated by regular outbursts of "He's not my son!"

While the neo-Gothic tale is inherently intriguing, the film should inspire strong emotion, but deliberate pacing and a contained sense of melodrama make it a surprisingly passive experience.

The New York Times:

That seems to be the plan behind “Changeling,” at any rate, an ambition telegraphed a shade too blatantly in the many close-ups of Ms. Jolie’s extraordinary face, which is by turns tear-streaked, stoical, crestfallen and howling. To watch her trace Christine’s harrowing emotional passage — a series of flights from anxiety to terror, from grief to rage, pausing occasionally at calm defiance or tremulous hope — is to witness an undeniable tour de force of screen acting. It insists on being regarded as a great performance and may, indeed, be mistaken for one.

Washington Post:

Jolie gets to do all the messy scenes that Oscar voters suck up like oysters at a free buffet. The "Snake Pit"-style insanity stuff, the noble-mother stuff — she explains to Walter early on that on the day Walter was born, his father received a box containing "responsibility," and that Dad chose not to open it. J. Michael Straczynski's script is full of such nuggets, as well as about six endings to the story. These include a confrontation with serial killer Gordon Northcott (a terrific Jason Butler Harner, who really is Oscar-worthy) in which Eastwood imposes no directorial restraint and Jolie shows that "A Mighty Heart" was just a warm-up in the histrionics marathon.

The New Republic:

By the time it's over, Changeling has proven itself not merely a contender for the worst film of the year, but a contender for the worst domestic tragedy, the worst conspiracy thriller, the worst serial killer flick, and the worst courtroom drama. It is that rare movie which, long after you think it's exhausted the possibilities, keeps discovering new ways to fail.

Chicago Sun-Times:

"Changeling" displays the directness and economy of his mentor, Don Siegel. It has not a single unnecessary stylistic flourish. No contrived dramatics. No shocking stunts. Not a gunshot. A score (by Eastwood) that doesn't underline but observes. The film simply tells its relentless story and rubs the LAPD's face in it. This is the story of an administration that directed from the top down to lie, cheat, torture, extract false confessions and serve to protect its image. In a way, it is prophetic.

Entertainment Weekly:

Yet there's little mystery, and therefore very little drama, to any of this. Jolie, who brought a tremulous power to her portrayal of Mariane Pearl in A Mighty Heart — another woman distraught over a lost loved one — isn't given enough notes to play here. She's brave, despairing, defiant, and monotonous. Changeling is a muckraker that crushes the audience under the dull weight of injustice. And when the film starts to show you what really happened to Walter, it grows even more oppressive. The trouble with Changeling is that it plays less like reality than like a bare-bones, moralistic rehash of other, better movies, such as L.A. Confidential or Frances. The oldfangled deliberateness of Eastwood's style has backfired this time, only adding to the sense that though you may not have heard this particular story before, you already know everything that's coming.

The A.V. Club:

Working from a screenplay by Babylon 5 creator and comics fixture J. Michael Straczynski, Eastwood creates a tone that's at once stately and unsettling, allowing a lot of breathing room for Jolie's sad, unyielding performance. She anchors a film that needs an anchor the further it goes along. Where much of Changeling works at once as a compelling mystery and an agonizing human drama, it starts to drift in a series of final scenes that finish the story while losing all sense of urgency. But in the end, it's the big picture that lingers, a vision of a city in which poor stewardship and institutional rot claims victims as surely as criminals, tying up loose ends with manufactured endings that fall part with a tug.

The New York Observer:

Still, Chinatown now stands out as one of the great American films, whereas Changeling doesn’t and probably never will. Why? The writing and direction are competent enough. It is well enough acted by Ms. Jolie (though her heavy lipstick seemed to me to blow up her lips to Betty Boopish proportions), Mr. Malkovich, Mr. Donovan, Mr. Kelly, Mr. Harner, Ms. Ryan, and the two child actors, Master Griffith and Master Conti. Also commendable are James J. Murakami’s production design, Tom Stern’s cinematography and Deborah Hopper’s costuming. Nevertheless, Changeling lacks Chinatown’s passion and humor, and seems much too long for its one-note subject. True or not, there is a limit to how much unjustified persecution can be dumped on a character without the audience beginning to feel manipulated.

Women & Hollywood:

Here's the problem with Changeling the new Clint Eastwood film starring Angelina Jolie, actually it's one of the problems, but it's the biggest, the brightest and the reddest — Angelina Jolie's lips. Every single person I've talked to who has seen the film — especially the women — the first thing out of their mouth is what a distraction her lips are. One actually said, "am I making too much of this" which I have been thinking to myself over the last couple of days. As a feminist, I really try to see beyond the looks and lips but this film made it virtually impossible because they were so big onscreen and were a total distraction. I think this has become a real problem for Angelina Jolie the actress because she seem to be getting in the way of herself.

The lips are a reflection of the tone of the film which is a male interpretation of a woman, and Jolie is the perfect person to embody that reflection. She's gorgeous and sexy, yet is always seen through the reflection of her family. This could have been a feminist story — a woman fights back after being thrown in the nut house because she refuses to tow the party line — but sadly the whole movie rings hollow.

'Changeling' opens today in wide release.

• Nas wrote a song about Barack Obama and sampled Tupac. I couldn't figure out what the fuck Tupac was saying but I finally found the lyrics and apparently it's "Although it seems heaven-sent we ain't ready to have a black president." Then Nas references Calvin Coolidge to remind you, oh yeah, maybe we have gotten a little less racist since Tupac "died", which got me wondering, has hip-hop gotten less misogynist since Oochie Wally Wally? [XXL]
• Yeah and meanwhile some people who have not gotten less racist since the nineties work for the Clinton campaign, according to erstwhile Hillary supporter Rob Andrews, who now says her campaign was…well, uh, it's kind of vague, but whatever it was, it didn't work out, so I guess I should just move on to… [NJ]
• How it was a bad day out in the economy. The unemployment rate hit 5.5%, which is pretty bad when you consider how many people hate their jobs — unrelated: was anyone else unaware that the world's highest jobless rate belongs to Nauru? — and it was the biggest month-to-month rise in 22 years. Just in time for graduation! And, you know, the Dow fell 400 points and oil futures rose eleven bucks. [WSJ]

• There is an upside to all this for our country: and it's called wasting fewer resources. I know you probably thought that day would never come in this country, but I never thought Chuck Krauthammer would write something I agreed with. [Washington Post]
• Clint Eastwood and Spike Lee are having beef over the latter's two year old movie Flags Of Our Fathers, a movie (here's a David Denby review) I would like to have seen before weighing in) but like, isn't the whole point of Clint Eastwood is that he's trying to convey what actually happened, from all perspectives? I mean, he didn't have to make that follow-up about how the the Japs saw things, you know? (Yeah yeah yeah, joke.) Seriously though. [Guardian]

[Cannes, May 20. Images via Splash.]

• Two weeks after they exchanged vows at a "spiritual" ceremony in Bora Bora, Tracey Edmonds and Eddie Murphy have indeed split. The two will "remain friends" and since they never had a legal US wedding, Eddie — who acted like a bit of an asshole to Tracey — won't have to pay any alimony. [People]
  
• Cops were called to the home of Britney Spears last night, but not for the pop star! Several photographers were arrested for reckless driving. Seriously, it's all fun and games until someone gets nailed by an SUV. Or has a nervous breakdown. [Perez Hilton]
  
• According to a poll, 51% of people think that Britney should be able to see her kids a few times a week. Only 1% wanted Britney to get full custody. Was that 1% one person? And was that one person Britney? [Reuter]
  
• Kevin Federline's lawyer says Kevin knows how difficult the custody situation is on the kids — and their mother. "It's a sad situation. There's no victorious feeling." Isn't it amazing how he's become the one to sort of trust and admire? [People]

• Uh-oh! Blake Fielder-Civil is livid with wife Amy Winehouse and has said "I want a divorce." Will she lose her man? Also: She doesn't have a pre-nup, crap. [Perez Hilton]
• Jeremy Piven has a crush on Dita Von Teese! The Entourage star sent two satin mini dresses to the burlesque queen, awww. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which talented singer/guitar player seems to have forgotten he's married with children? He's been spotted entering and exiting a building in Battery Park City where he spends the night with a beautiful record company executive." [Page Six]
• Clint Eastwood is suing Palliser Furniture company for creating a chair called "The Eastwood." The estate of Marlon Brando is also suing; the chair company claims The Brando chair was named after a town in Corsica — and yet they also have seats named after Charles Bronson, James Cagney and Sean Connery. [E!]
• "He was uncomfortable with the side effects of stardom. There was a sadness in his eyes for someone so young, and he always had an air of trouble around him." — a friend of the late Brad Renfro. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which rising actor with a celebrity girlfriend has been sending 'dirty, flirty' texts to a slew of young ladies in Hollywood? At least that's the gossip." [Gatecrasher]
• Is Sienna Miller to blame for the break between Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn? [Rush & Molloy]
• Simon Cowell denies he got a a "tit job" on his man boobs. "I've tried to cut out red meat, biscuits, cakes and desserts and I eat a lot of fruit," he says. [MSNBC]
• Ike Turner's death was indeed a cocaine overdose, though the singer had a long history of cardiovascular disease and emphysema. [Reuters]
• Faith Hill is recovering from knee surgery — she injured it playing softball in high school. Who knew she was sporty? [AP]
• Foxy Brown is hoping for early release from prison as she slowly goes deaf. "I am terrified of not hearing a fire alarm go off, or being locked in a cell, and someone not being kind enough to let me out, since not everyone understands the severity of my condition," she wrote in a letter. [E!]
• Former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker is suing Rockstar energy drink company for publishing a photo of him holding a can of the product. What's with all these companies trying to exploit celebs? [USA Today]
• Liz Hurley pregnant? The 42-year-old has a "bump." Ugh, to be a star and have everyone staring at your stomach all the time. Must suck. [Daily Express]

[San Dimas, California; October 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin]