I Did the World's First Ice Cream Cleanse: Yes, Really

Back during the no-carb diet craze of the early 2000s, I joked that I wanted to try a diet consisting of nothing but carbs and lipids. I would call it the Fatkins Diet. Guess what? I just did exactly that. I ate ice cream, and only ice cream, for four days straight. Yes, it's the world's first Ice Cream Cleanse, and… » 3/05/14 9:55pm 3/05/14 9:55pm

Fuck This Fucking Lawn Water: Five Days on a Juice Cleanse

Before anyone says anything about how a few days of drinking grass in a bottle is not a healthy or effective way to lose weight, I just want to lose 3 poundsssszzzss! Just kidding. No, my five days of mainlining liquid vegetables is actually a serious effort to unhitch my apple wagon from the (death) star that is… » 1/15/13 1:30pm 1/15/13 1:30pm