Watch Martha Stewart Juice the Shit Out of a Very Large Cucumber

Martha Stewart and Seth Meyers continued their mutual love affair on late night Monday evening, joining together to do some juice cleansing for the new year, or something. I don't really know why they were making all that liquid because Martha's technique for juicing a whole cucumber was so distracting. Look at her… »1/06/15 3:00pm1/06/15 3:00pm

I Did the World's First Ice Cream Cleanse: Yes, Really

Back during the no-carb diet craze of the early 2000s, I joked that I wanted to try a diet consisting of nothing but carbs and lipids. I would call it the Fatkins Diet. Guess what? I just did exactly that. I ate ice cream, and only ice cream, for four days straight. Yes, it's the world's first Ice Cream Cleanse, and… »3/05/14 9:55pm3/05/14 9:55pm

Fuck This Fucking Lawn Water: Five Days on a Juice Cleanse

Before anyone says anything about how a few days of drinking grass in a bottle is not a healthy or effective way to lose weight, I just want to lose 3 poundsssszzzss! Just kidding. No, my five days of mainlining liquid vegetables is actually a serious effort to unhitch my apple wagon from the (death) star that is… »1/15/13 1:30pm1/15/13 1:30pm