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"No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
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EmpressZombie
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
Sigh, I`m ADHD and I can't pick up after myself. It drives me crazy, I hate the mess but I can't do it. I try to pick it up, and I get overwhelmed or I get distracted and HAVE to organize my papers for 2 hours, get up woozy cause I forgot to eat, look around, the room is still messy possibly messier in spite of all the energy I've spent and then wander off thinking f* it. YES, I'M AWARE I SHOULDN'T DO THAT!
I only tidy up when I have a party or have a cute guy come over. (the burst of adrenaline makes me do stuff)
I've got a suggestion, let all the anal people come to my house and clean, I'll pay....HELP!
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Alys Brangwin has a huge talent
07/22/09

@EmpressZombie: I know what you mean. I have to have a sudden burst of motivation to do real cleaning. I've improved in doing the dishes, but picking up items off the floor is usually left alone until I can't take it anymore. That lasts about a month. I can't imagine leaving out food and letting it rot or having dead animal carcasses, but I did go a year without vacuuming my dorm room.
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marinav
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
My place is an utter mess, clothes, papers, old laptops, wires, jewelry, old magazines, books all living together in a harmonic happy clutter of lazyness. They haven't complained yet...

Oddly enough, I can't stand a dirty kitchen, it's genetic, I cook and wash the pots before eating, I can't stand seeing tomato sauce on the floor or a cheese burn frying pan.
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margareita metermaid
07/21/09

@marinav: That's about where I am. I absolutely abhor washing dishes but I feel like shit when I know they are rotting in the kitchen among other organic messes. As long as the mess contains no rotting capabilities-- ie, living room and bedroom type stuff-- then I'm cool with being a slob. And no bad smells either (which are usually the result of organic messes anyway).
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marinav
07/21/09

@margareita metermaid: I say that who love me, have to love me in my glorious lazyness.

@Karkadann: found food is the best! Hm... I think I had a momement of self awareness and kind of grossed out myself. One more thing in common and I would say that you and I are the same person in parallel universes that somehow converged in Jezebel.
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Edited by marinav at 07/21/09 8:52 PM marinav was starred marinav was unstarred

rednrowdy
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
..a few generations ago, people would have been mortified to show anyone such a messy apartment; now, we're proud of it. This isn't, oh, my place is a mess. This is, look how rebellious I am!

i think people are proud of it now because of the tv programs who come in and redecorate and organize entire rooms of your house at no cash-value cost to yourself. who wouldn't shout it proudly if you could possibly get a buddy to nominate you for a show and thus get what could be considered brand new home decor?

i know people who dress badly on purpose just in the hopes that someone will nominate them for 'what not to wear' and they'll get a new wardrobe. i'm not even remotely kidding.
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TildeMarks
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
I can't understand how people can live in clutter and mess. I cannot function and find my mental state in the same disarray that surrounds me in these situations. Having a clean house makes me feel settled and content.
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Scout
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
My ex-boyfriend used to live in an apartment much like many of these....I almost DIDN'T date him for fear that I'd stepped into the life of a crazy man....you know what they say about one's mind and ones habitat.

There were at least 50 some odd empty and half empty beer glasses (he has a collection of about 200), junk mail from months strewn all over the floor, piles of clothes both dirty and not so much, layers of dust and dust bunnies, and a fridge with one huge block of cheese (nothing more)....
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MilointheMeadow
07/21/09

@Scout: My old roommate used to go into a cleaning frenzy every time she felt her work life was getting unmanageable. So when my apartment is looking a little rough, I take it as a good sign - that my life is in a good place if I'm not needing to compensate with overzealous cleaning.
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Scout
07/21/09

@MilointheMeadow: I only clean when I'm totally stressed out so, yes, I hear you on the analogy. If my house is clean, probably best to stay away ha ha (as I am weeping into the glass of my third martini)
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Everything MidnightBikeRide does is a balloon.
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
One of my very best friends from high school had such a messy house that you were never allowed to go inside. When you were at her house (i.e. hanging out in the backyard) you had to walk down the street to the grocery store or squat behind a bush if you had to use the bathroom. Best theories: 1) You don´t actually live here 2) you´ve got a sister chained up in the attic. Better to invite that kind of spculation or get judged on the mess?
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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
Hm...this little contest seems to echo the whole Overshare theme that's become so pervasive lately. Like it's acceptable to describe your own very personal health issues or bowel issues or sex stories, so why not share-and even glorify-your own messy habits? I suppose this is, for certain people, a great way to show that You Just Don't Give A Fuck; that you're too busy living your life to worry about what your room smells like or what anyone else happens to think of you. This, to me, just screams 'adolescence!" As in, I am actively breaking my ass to piss off my parents! Fuck the Man! Okay, so this is just my take. And I am a neatnik, so there's that. I guess what I'm saying is that yeah, some people are truly unconcerned with cleanliness, and will forget to vacuum or do the laundry sometimes. That's one thing. But for people to actually filth up their living spaces on purpose- and by filth I mean rotten food containers and never taking out the garbage or cleaning up after your pet- what purpose does that really serve?
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Cafezinha
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
Thanks, Mamãe Zinha, for my pathological fear of having people over when my home is not at its "freshly done by Merry Maids" best. I was seriously conditioned to believe it was the most vile rudeness you could commit, having guests in an unspotless home, and I have made myself sick sometimes trying to make everything clean before having people over. There was also the effect of just keeping myself isolated when I couldn't keep up, which was as bad or worse.

I got to a point when the mini Zinhas were wee that I had a revelation--I can't do everything, and all this judgment I feel is mostly me projecting past issues and all in my head, and besides, if people want to judge me they can FTFO. So I relaxed a little, and still made an effort to tidy, but didn't stress. It was fabulous.

Until Mamãe Zinha came to visit and went ballistic because it was messy. OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU DEPRESSED? WHAT'S GOING ON, WHY IS IT LIKE THIS IN HERE? So on, ad nauseum.

tl;dr: Sadie, I feel you.
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SmillaSnow
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
I am a bit envious of messy people. There's a freedom in not worrying about how tidy your house is. I have this weird idea that my apartment's cleanliness reflects my worth as a person, so I'm always anxious about it. (Having a cat that yacks on the carpet 3 times a day doesn't help matters.)
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Cafezinha
07/21/09

@SmillaSnow: Jinx, only you said it way more succinctly than I did.

I get serious anxiety attacks over this crap. It's awful.
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hfree
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
Sadie, I "cured" my throwing clothes on the floor by putting a chair where my clothes pile used to be. Now when the chair gets full I know I need to put stuff away. I also got a dog that sheds a lot, so I wouldn't want me stuff on the floor anyway. . .
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t-yo3
07/21/09

@hfree: This is a tactic that I too have adopted. It works marvelously well, don't you think?
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HuckleberryFriend
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
I can relate to this- my mother was never the domestic type and she basically forbid us to touch entire sections of the house just so she wouldn't have to clean them.

I have taken a similar approach to my apartment- I try not to bring too much stuff home with me, and I also eat out a lot. My only major problem is dust combined with cat hair- I have no idea how to combat this lethal combination that takes over every room.
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Edited by HuckleberryFriend at 07/21/09 1:50 PM HuckleberryFriend was starred

nyc-caribbean-ragazza
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
Not sure why anyone would be proud to have a DIRTY home which is very different from a messy home. My parents (esp. my mom) were clean freaks and unfortunately so am I and my brother and sister. I actually feel uneasy in a dirty or messy home. I don't want to eat/sleep or spend any time there.
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Dictator for Life promoted this comment

Dictator for Life
07/21/09

@nyc-caribbean-ragazza: My mom is a neat freak too, to the point where my childhood friends would comment on how clean our house was. I love a clean house, but my bf and I have 3 cats and a dog, so cleanliness is hard to accomplish. I actually feel really uncomfortable in my own house (it's hard to clean, due to the animals and some non-working appliances), and only really relax when I'm at my parents.
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
Oh Sadie, will you marry me? We can live in our own filth together -- someplace like Vermont or Iowa! A world where purses always have crumbs (where the hell do those things come from, anyway?!), clean clothes are in the hamper, dirty clothes are on the sofa, rice hangs out in a bowl under a computer desk until it turns green and powdery (that was ONE TIME!), and nobody ever comes to visit without us staying up until 3 in the morning the night previously shoving everything into a closet in the hopes of not getting evicted.

It could be MAGICAL and we could register at Bloomingdales!
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Edited by Zombie Ms. Skittles at 07/21/09 1:49 PM

Zombie Ms. Skittles
07/21/09

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: Brilliant! I shall take your silence as consent and begin registering for china patterns!
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margareita metermaid
07/21/09

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: Heh..."I shall take your silence as consent!" is going into my mental book of funny/disturbing stuff to say to the people close to me. Yes, I do hoard such things to trot out later for my self amusement.
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KatyLou
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
My parents like to see themselves as artists and feel that, as such, they have no need to be clean. Growing up their house wasn't always filthy, but it was always cluttered. Stacks of books here and there, art supplies laying around. Every inch of every wall in their home is covered with paintings, murals, or junk of some kind.

My apartment is almost always clean. I have nothing on the walls but sublime blank space. My house has little clutter in it and is always organized.
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colormeroutine
07/21/09

In reply to "No, I Have The Filthiest Apartment On Earth!"
I wonder if this is going to lead to any evictions....
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