• Michelle Trachtenberg is designing a line of jewelry for Coach's Poppy brand. Expect "colorful crystals." [WWD]
• Zac Posen is doing a lower-priced line, Z Spoke, which will be available exclusively through Saks Fifth Avenue come spring. It starts at $78:

• And it's a marked departure from his evening wear-heavy main line. "It's not Zac-for-less, it's not the little sister collection at all," says the designer. "The dresses — that's something I can do with my eyes closed. This is about a new identity." Hopefully that new identity includes solvency, given Posen, subject to continued rumors about his company's financial status, was forced to lay off staff recently. [WWD]
• Why is Cintra Wilson reviewing the Fifth Avenue Armani store now? That opened months ago. And it was extensively covered and reviewed in the Times back then. [NYTimes]
• Sophie Theallet's friend and longtime supporter Rupert Everett is happy she won the Vogue/CFDA Fashion Fund Award. Theallet is going to collaborate again with Manolo Blahnik on her runway show footwear for next February, and this time, some styles will be available in stores. [WWD]
• Some "legendary" male models we've never heard of (OK, male models we have heard of comprise exactly Tyson Beckford and that guy who was in Calvin Klein ads before he played Samantha's boyfriend on Sex And The City) are in this month's VMAN. [Independent]
• Claudia Schiffer has been thinking more about that clothing line she mooted a week or so back. "I have no definite first product in mind, but I would love to do cashmere. It's something I wear all the time myself, but I'd love to do something a bit more price-friendly. Plus a lot of cashmere lines are very classic and timeless, while I'd want to do it a bit more fashion. Or I could imagine doing handbags." You know. Cashmere. Or handbags. [WWD]
• If you need a fresh reason to hate the fashion industry this morning, how about an over-privileged under-informed 17-year-old heaping scorn on Luella's closure, and bragging about how she has, like, a ton of Lacroix — in the garage? Jane Aldridge probably kisses her Vogue portrait before going to bed each night. Right after inclining her head to say her prayers to Anna. [Fashionista]
• Vivienne Westwood says of the same closure, "It's very sad, but English fashion will survive, and be stronger." [Style.com]
• A four-day auction of the last contents of Pierre Bergé and Yves Saint Laurent's home has begun in Paris. Everything from the chandeliers to the pots and pans is for sale, some 1,185 objects in all. [Breitbart]
• Lanvin has attracted a minority investor. An unnamed entity, believed to be a European family, has bought a 12.5% stake in the business, for an estimated tens of millions of Euros. Last year, sales at Lanvin rose 29%. [WWD]
• Apparently it takes £230 worth of creams to look like Jane Birkin, along with Clarins and Dr. Hauschka makeup. And we always thought her so low maintenance and carefree. [Daily Mail]
• Birkin's daughter Charlotte Gainsbourg may be the face of the new Balenciaga perfume, but that won't stop Olivier Zahm from photographing the bottle between the breasts of a topless mannequin. Stay classy, Olivier! [FWD]
• John Bartlett, the recently fired men's wear designer for Liz Claiborne, has announced a collaboration with Alex Carleton of Rogues Gallery. RG/JB will launch in December at John Bartlett's Greenwich Village store, and will include a handcrafted leather log carrier and bankers' envelopes. Sounds practical. [WWD]
• Porsche is bringing back Yoko Ono's favorite sunglasses. [Luxist]
• A Gap store in Vancouver turned itself upside down to sell shoppers on a new kind of reward program called, for some reason, Sprize. They hung all the mannequins from the ceiling and turned the signage upside-down, but what you really need to know is this: Sprize reimburses you the cost difference automatically if merchandise you buy full-price later goes on sale. It's like everything you ever buy will be on sale. And it's not in the U.S. yet why??? [BrandFreak]
• Rosita and Tai Missoni seem like an adorable old couple. [Scotsman]
• Expect Burberry handbags, shoes and belts, as well as children's wear, in the near future. [Reuters]
• In coordination with something called cryptically "more trees," Louis Vuitton is paying 10 million yen (about $112,000) to reforest a 104-hectare area of land in Japan, to be known as the Louis Vuitton Forest. (Insert your own where-handbags-grow-on-trees joke.) [Japan Tourism]

• "Rumors are swirling" that Marc Jacobs and boyf may be adopting a baby girl. [New York]
• Damon Dash and Rachel Roy are divorcing. [NY Daily News]
• Why is Nicole Richie dressed as Lady Gaga? [BlackBook]

• Oy. Barneys eliminates 76 positions. [WWD]
• Tiffany's profits are down...although not as low as people expected! Silver linings...? [NYT]
• This 30-something reporter is worried that she's too old for "sheers." We feel her pain! "Then there is the problem of the sheer panel. You know the sort - where one five-inch peekaboo slot has the ability to make a slick cocktail dress look startlingly cheap." [Daily Mail]
• And another one down: menswear designer Mark Shale files for bankruptcy. [WWD]
• Lady Gaga has totally ripped off Hussein Chalayan's bubble dress. But they should feel honored! Besides, the original covers the vagina, a problem with Mme. Gaga rectified. [New York]
• Fashion types are awfully excited at the news of Marni's new summer capsule collection, which will feature "Marni's unmistakable abstract prints and block colour panels feature on easy-to-wear T-shirt dresses, casual jackets and mannish trousers." [ElleUK]
• So when she says, "her husband," is Michelle Obama really talking about "the media?" M.O. says: "He's always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven't seen that before.' It's like, Why don't you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet." [New York Times via Fashionista]
• Taking the pulse of the times, Margiela opens a German flagship: "Eight white rickshaws and 10 white bikes ferried guests from the new shop on Maximilian Strasse to the art museum, while those who preferred to walk had only to follow the white Tabi toe-sock footprints and white helium balloons pointing the way." [WWD]
• Speaking of which: we can add nothing to this quote from VogueUK: "The yummy mummy enclave of London's W10 is set to become even yummier with the addition of Burberry's first UK childrenswear store on Westbourne Grove. [VogueUK]
• Fashion parties, on the other hand, are feeling the pinch: "At a recent soiree, there was a strict one tipple per guest rule." Accordingly, fashionistas are packing flasks. We know that game. [Fashionista]
• Patrick Robinson asserts, again, that he's changing the image of the Gap. Visits to the store fail to back this up. [VogueUK]
• Clarins is opening a series of in-department-store spas. [WSJ]

For instance: Olay Regenerist claims it is "a deep penetrating moisturizer with Aquacurrent Science." Dyan Diaz, 30, says this means: "They are taking stuff out of the ocean like jellyfish and dissecting it and telling us it is good for your skin." Heh. Good guess! Actually, Olay claims, "Aquacurrent Science, the study of water movement in the skin and hair, helps create products with greater moisturization." Disappointing, huh, Dyan? Jellyfish gunk sounds way more effective.

What about Clarins Younger Longer Balm, "with advanced neuro-cosmetic technology and rare concentrated botanicals, skin is revitalized"? Yeah, that's right. Neuro-cosmetic. Soline McLain, a 28-year-old law student, says: "I would think it has to do with the brain. It makes you smarter? I will put it on when I am studying for constitutional law." (Hahahahaha! It actually has to do with nerve endings in the skin.)

As for Estée Lauder Re-Nutriv Ultimate Lifting skin care, "'Virtual immunity' means you’ll see a noticeably more lifted look, a brilliant clarity, a newly refined smoothness." Virtual immunity. Virtual immunity. Carmel Agdeppa, 27, wonders: "Is it better for your skin against any foreign bacteria?" Oh, Carmel! If only. Instead, Estée Lauder explains that if you use their cream, your skin "essentially appears almost as if it has been exempted from the signs of premature aging." Essentially. Almost. As if. Haha! The fact that they expect anyone to believe that is the most hilarious part of all.

Let’s Play Buzzword: Defining Phrases Used in Skin Care Advertising [NY Times]

• Gwen Stefani's soon-to-be-released Harajuku Lovers fragrance collection comes with dolls that look just like her own Harajuku girl back-up dancers. WTF. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• OMG is Britney Spears going to "collaborate" on a clothing line with Ed Hardy? Like whoah. [Star]
  
• The newest Donatella-designed Versace watch retails for $226,800. Says Donatella: "Women don't really need a watch to tell time today — they have their cell phones and BlackBerries." You heard it straight from the horse's mouth: It's expensive shit you don't need. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Why does making your own deodorant actually sound like fun? [BellaSugar]

• More expensive shit: Armani luggage. [WWD, sub req'd]
• And more still: Pictures of Kate Moss's face. [Vogue UK]
• So-called upscale beauty brands Clarins, Kiehl's, Origins, Bare Escentuals and Bumble and Bumble are now selling their wares through so-called not-upscale mass retailer Target. The brands are all nervous about diluting their image. Don't they know? Getting something at Target is the new getting something at Bloomingdale's. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Why do watch brands need "ambassadors"? Um, here is an essay that explains it. [Financial Times]
• Bras: Big business in Britain. [Telegraph]
• Speaking of which, Agent Provocateur has relaunched their website and it is "steamy" and "raunchy" and "seamy." Enjoy! [Telegraph]
• For those of you deeply concerned about where all of Carla Bruni's clothes are coming from, rest assured: her rep says, that she "either borrows or buys. And it's all her personal budget. It's not the state budget. The same goes for her hair and makeup." [WWD, sub req'd]
• The amazing Chan Marshall (aka Cat Power) on being a "muse" to Karl Lagerfeld: "I don't think I'm a muse. I'm just like... A regular, maybe. Just a character in Karl's world." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Aw, tear! Hearst is starting a website called DonateMyDress.org where real-life Serena van der Woodsens can donate their old clothes to real-life Jenny Humphreys. No chance in hell the Blair Waldorfs are going to get in on the act. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Kim Stewart is the "face" of Ciate's paint pots, aka nail polish. When you see Kim Stewart, is a manicure is the first thing you think of? [Kiss And Makeup]
• The NYPD had a good time in Queens last night, confiscating $5.5 million in fake Burberry, Chanel, Coach, Fendi, Kate Spade, Gucci and Prada bags. [WWD, sub req'd]
• MAC is opening up something called a Pro Store that isn't just retail, but an "educational center" as well. Hmm, smells like a ruse to get you to spend more time at the counter, and more money on expensive shit. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Christian Louboutin: Now doing resort footwear. [Fashion Week Daily]
• This is what I look like in sunglasses. [Coutorture]