• Chris Brown will not be singing on Good Morning America next week as scheduled. He will, however, "come clean" in a primetime interview about what happened the night he assaulted former girlfriend Rhianna. [NY Post]

• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have not, repeat NOT split up. Says a rep for Witherspoon. A person who, a year or so ago, probably would not have confirmed the two were together. [Us Magazine]
• Meanwhile, "in the wake of infidelity rumors," Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow are about to spend time apart: She will be working on a musical in the US and then filming a movie in Germany. Will the marriage survive?!?!? [UPI]
• Britney Spears allegedly proposed to her boyfriend, Jason Trawick, only to have him reject the offer. Allegedly. This made her "furious," so she (allegedly) "banished" Jason from Australia, where she is on tour. [MTV.com.au]
• Perez Hilton has written a second book, in which he claims that Drew Barrymore is "always fucked up" and is "not the sober kitten that the main public may think she is." In addition, he claims that "someone" tips off the photogs when Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony want to show the world pictures of themselves together. [Gatecrasher]
• Despite an apparent suicide note via Twitter, Michael Lohan is not dead, did not try to kill himself and the Twitter account saying so is not even his. [Gawker]
• Meryl Streep is on the cover of Vanity Fair and says: "It's incredible-I'm 60, and I'm playing the romantic lead in romantic comedies! Bette Davis is rolling over in her grave." Director Mike Nichols claims: "She broke the glass ceiling of an older woman being a big star-it has never, never happened before." [Vanity Fair]
• Rachel Uchitel, who is being called Tiger Woods' alleged mistress (as we learned in Midweek Madness, Star magazine alleges Uchitel has been sexting Tiger) is working with famed lawyer Gloria Allred now and the two are "deciding" what the next step will be. [TMZ]
• Rachel Uchitel says: "I did not have any involvement with him [Woods]. Whatever was written in the Enquirer was not said by me, it was said by two people that claimed they were friends of mine but they're not." [E!]
• Tiger Woods canceled a meeting with the Florida Highway Patrol. [TMZ]
• The FHP is trying to obtain a search warrant to seize medical records from the hospital which treated Tiger Woods. The idea is to find out if his injuries were from car accident or domestic violence; some reports claim that his wife followed him out of the house and struck his moving car with a gold club, causing him to hit a fire hydrant and tree. [TMZ]
• Brad Pitt's "Make It Right" homes in New Orleans are getting mixed reviews. Some people feel that the architecture is not grounded in the history of New Orleans and that the houses can be "alien, sometimes even insulting," [PopEater]
• Michael Jackson's enormous debt may be paid off, thanks to the music royalties and box-office bonanza from This Is It. [Daily Express]
• Mary Murphy wants Tom Cruise to be a guest judge on So You Think You Can Dance, and Katie Holmes says: "He would be great. He really would." It'll happen, if Xenu wills it so! [E!]
• Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz sped away from a stampede via motorcycle in Cadiz, Spain yesterday — it was a scene was for their flick Knight & Day, but the stampede was real. [NY Post]
• David Hasselhoff's ex-wife Pamela Bach was busted for DUI Saturday night. Bail was set at $15,000; Bach was released on her own recognizance and attended an AA meeting yesterday. [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, David Hasselhoff was under an involuntary psychiatric hold at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center over the weekend after drinking a "large amount of alcohol." [Radar Online]
• Except: David Hasselhoff's lawyer denies that David was on a psych hold: "David's at home. He's fine. I'm not sure where that information is coming from." [E!]
• Rumor has it Kate Moss is sick of the "media glare" in the UK and may move to New York or Paris, where, as you may know, there are absolutely no paparazzi or tabloids. [Daily Mail]
• After a record-breaking opening weekend, New Moon's ticket sales dropped nearly 70% from Friday to Sunday. Somehow, The Blind Side is doing really well. [Us Magazine]
• Rihanna says: "I haven't been in touch with my dad for a year and a half... by his choice. He came on tour and acted a mess. We sent him home and after that he didn't answer my calls." Her dad says: "I leave messages for her but I never hear back. I want nothing more in this world than to see my daughter again and to be part of her life." And: "I'm sorry and I love you." A page from the MIchael Lohan book of child/parent communication! [Mirror]
• Taylor Momsen does that sullen, insomniac teen thing so well in the new Japanese edition of NyLon. [ONTD]
• Congrats to Tom Arnold, who was married for the fourth time in Hawaii on Saturday. The lady's name is Ashley Groussman and the wedding had an Asian theme; the couple chanted a Buddhist prayer after exchanging rings. [Us Magazine]
• You know, if we're not supposed to be admiring the physique of 17-year-old Taylor Lautner, then stop shooting slo-mo video of his biceps. Jeez. [Rolling Stone]
• Taylor Lautner says that once Jamie Foxx approached him and said, "Hey, my daughter is a huge fan, and I'm a huge fan. Is there any way I can get a picture with you? I'm Jamie Foxx." To which Taylor replied: "Are you kidding me? Can I get a picture with you?" [Gatecrasher]
• Apparently Jon Gosselin tweeted that he was going to his grandma's for Thanksgiving, but Hailey Glassman tweeted: "LOL-U are in Utah snowboarding w/ ‘friends'-lol-ur redic." [Gatecrasher]
• When Tila Tequila performs, she demands that there be 20 cans of Red Bull on hand "at all times." Healthy! [Page Six]
• When Simon Cowell's X Factor comes to the US, the contestants will be vying for a chance to sing in Las Vegas. [NY Post]
• According to a police report, in early November, Anthony Michael Hall "bit his girlfriend's forehead" and "pushed, shoved and spit at" her during a fight in her apartment. [Page Six]
• Breaking: Hugh Laurie has a black eye, obtained while boxing. [Daily Express]
• Seriously, I can't believe that thieves transferred more than £200,000 from Ricky Gervais's bank account — using a fake passport with a picture of Gervais playing David Brent cut from a DVD of The Office. Insane. [Daily Mail]
• Susan Boyle's album is at the top of the UK charts. [NY Post]
• "The brother of Susan Boyle said U.S. actress Kathy Bates should portray his sister in a film about the amateur Scottish singer's life." [UPI]
• Michael Kenneth Williams, aka Omar from The Wire, plays a thief in The Road. He says he was Method acting for the role: "I followed Viggo [Mortensen]'s cues. We didn't wash, we didn't cut our hair. No grooming. I smelled. I reeked." And! He'll be in a new HBO crime drama produced by Martin Scorsese. He says: "I'm not afraid of typecasting; I'm afraid of not eating." [NY Mag]
• Welcome to the digital age, Bill Cosby! Congrats on your new website, Facebook account, Twitter account and Flickr account. [NY Times]
• "Jay Leno Losing His Audience To DVR Machines." [AP]
• "I wanted to be on the edge of personal space that is shy of violating a person's privacy but close enough to suggest intimacy. I was trusting my intuition from my past [talk show] experience when I'd ask myself, why is this desk in between me and the person I'm talking to?" — William Shatner has a special face-to-face couch on his Raw Nerve show on Bio. [NY Post]
• "I don't want to be any kind of a happy couple with a photograph on the television set. I find it embarrassing. You have to get involved with other people's relatives and great aunt Bessies and all of that — and I'd rather not. I'm 50 years old now and a pattern emerges and I accept that and I don't mind at all." — Morrissey. At the link, check out Moz's Desert Island Discs: New York Dolls, Ramones, Iggy and the Stooges. [Guardian]
• "I've become a bit of a gym person. I feel apologetic about it because it looks a little uncool, but I like to have an appointment every day. Plus it's the only time I watch TV." — Claire Danes. [Times of London]
• "Whilst we press politicians to pass global laws to reduce carbon emissions, we should not forget our individual capacity to act in ways that will help to fight climate change - such as limiting the eating of meat. Having one designated meat-free day a week is a meaningful change that everyone can make." — Paul McCartney. [BBC News]
• "From the '93 case — they accused him of just the most horrible things. This kid's father has committed suicide because he just couldn't take it, and now the kid has come forth and said, Michael never touched him." — Jermaine Jackson, on Evan Chandler, who accused Michael Jackson of sexually abusing his son Jordy. [OMG via Access Hollywood]
• "I read once that Alexander the Great would've not been great, that great, if he would've not traveled with the historians who documented his multiple battles and his victories. So documenting your work is important, making sure that the work, if it's well done, if you put many hours and effort and energy into that, that it does its job, that it's presented the right way. And that's when you make sure that you're surrounded by intelligent people who can also contribute to your career in great ways… You can't win a battle if you don't have the right army behind you." — Shakira. [LA Times]
• "I definitely believe in the possibility of intelligent life on other planets. There's just so much space out there to not believe in that. For me, the idea with this movie is to be open to change. You should be accepting of change because, only through change, can you grow and learn more about yourself, as a human or alien." — Jessica Biel, who voices an alien in Planet 51. [Independent]
• "I like me better naked. I don't mean that in a vain way… When you put clothes on, you immediately put a character on. Clothes are adjectives, they are indicators. When you don't have any clothes on, it's just you, raw, and you can't hide." — Padma Lakshmi. [Page Six]
• "The word gay has become used as a derogatory term and this is something which education can help to resolve. Either that or we choose another word to describe ourselves. I rather like another G word – glorious." — Ian McKellen. [Daily Express]
• "The first day I met [Tracy Morgan], I had a small Afro, and he was like, 'You know, if you want to get dreads, you should get your girl pregnant and put the placenta in your hair.' And I was like, 'What the fuck … are you talking about?' But from that point on, I thought, Any brain that can make that up needs to be studied." — Donald Glover, who quit 30 Rock before being cast on Community. [NY Mag]
• "Every woman should have naked pictures taken. In five years my body might not look like this! I've always been borderline raunchy and a little sexy. But sexy at 19 and sexy at 21 is two different things. I'm just having fun. When naked pictures I'd sent to a boyfriend were leaked this year I was so nervous and embarrassed that my mom was going to see them. But she reacted in the most surprising way. She just sent me a text saying, 'You're an adult now.' Basically saying, 'Welcome to the real world.' She says I'm a woman now so I have to handle things like an adult." — Rihanna. [The Sun]
• "I can't remember the last time I really worried about being appealing." — Meryl Streep. [Page Six]

• Michaele and Tareq Salahi, the now-infamous White House party crashers, have "postponed" a planned appearance on Larry King Live in an attempt to instead make "hundreds of thousands of dollars" by selling their story to the highest bidder. [NYTimes]

• Tiger Woods reportedly told a friend he needed to "run to Zales to get a 'Kobe Special.'" (meaning: a giant ring) last Friday after having a fight with his wife. Kobe Bryant, you might remember, purchased a $4 million ring for his wife, Vanessa, after being accused of sexual assault. [TMZ]
• Rachel Uchitel, Woods' alleged mistress, is reportedly meeting with high-profile attorney Gloria Allred. [TMZ]
• Uchitel vehemently denies that she and Woods had an affair, though she notes that even rumors of such a thing might cause drama: "Despite it being completely untrue, it still must have certainly caused some problems at home - if I was his wife, I probably would have killed him. This is nothing to do with me. The claims are completely false. We have never had an affair, talked on the phone or sent any type of text, sexy or not. I'm really upset about it because I'm being portrayed as a home-wrecker, when it simply isn't true." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• Audio of Woods' 911 call after the accident may be released to the public at some point today. [TheSun]
• Rupert Everett says his friendship with Madonna was destroyed after Everett wrote about her in his book, Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins. "I think it is very affectionate, and certainly with her I was very careful to only write things that were," he says of the book, "But she felt it was an infringement of privacy." [Guardian]
• "I'm most drawn to characters who are compelling and repellant at the same time, very often right at the same moment, and who are frightening and funny all at once."-James Spader[NYTimes]
• "You know, a day doesn't go by where you don't think about him. It's always there, in every sense. But it will get better. It's not easy, but I know with time it will get easier. But it will never be easy. It's my brother."-Janet Jackson, on losing her brother, Michael. [TimesOnline]
• Alec Baldwin says he's lost his interest in acting and plans to give it up after his 30 Rock contract expires: "Movies are part of my past. It's been 30 years. I'm not young, but I have time to do something else," he says, "It's a difficult thing to say, but I believe it: I consider my entire movie career a complete failure." [ShowbizSpy]
• Heidi Klum has posted a picture of her (adorable) new daughter, Lou Samuel, on her website, writing that Lou is "beautiful beyond words and we are happy that she chose us to watch her grow over the coming years. From the moment she looked into both of our eyes it was endless love at first sight." [DailyMail]
• "Ive always been a businesswoman, because there's no way you can be in the music business and not be a businesswoman. It's always been a part of ever since I began in music, Since I was 16. I've always been very inclined to really just take control of the things that I want to see happen and to really be proactive about it so to extend and to expand into different ventures my entrepreneurial spirit has definitely been calling to me just because there's so many ways to express yourself and jewelry is such a beautiful expression, it's a self expression."-Alicia Keys on her new jewelry line. [WSJ]
• Martha Stewart was spotted at the Four Seasons on Thanksgiving, alongside Barbara Walters, Helen Gurley Brown, among others. Am I the only one whose mind is kind of blown by Martha Stewart going to a restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner? [PageSix]
• Jay-Z and Sean "Diddy" Combs rented out a $5000 a night room, complete with "padded walls and a couch, eight ounces of beluga caviar and a magnum of champagne," to just have a drink together and listen to some music. [PageSix]
• When the NYTimes pointed out that Lil' Wayne's music "is not necessarily lady-friendly," Beth Ditto replied: "No, but he's such an artist, and he's obsessed with [performing oral sex]. I think that's really cool and really girl-positive in a way. I think for hip-hop that's really rad." [NYTimes]
• In somewhat unsurprising news, Morrissey says he's thought about suicide, and that he thinks "self-destruction is honourable. I always thought it was. It's an act of great control and I understand people who do it." [Mirror]
• Brittany Murphy's husband was taken to the hospital yesterday for what Murphy believes was an asthma attack while on board an airplane. [TMZ]
• Fergie says she watched several Fellini films to get a feel for how Italian actresses carried themselves, in preparation for her role as an Italian prostitute in Nine. [DailyExpress]
• "I kind of became the poster girl for teen angst, which is a kind of crass way of saying it. But the teen roles that I was playing, they were bright and they were atypical. There was room there for that particular kind of character to mature, so I didn't face a great amount of resistance in that respect. But I think everybody has to fight to become a diverse artist because people are inclined to associate you with one thing or are a little unnerved by your daring to do something."-Claire Danes, on her role in My So-Called Life [WashingtonPost]
• Cindy Crawford admits that she used to receive Botox injections, "but I haven't done Botox for ten years. And I didn't do collagen, I don't think." [DailyMail]
• Though Toni Braxton's marriage of 8 years ended just days after she kissed Trey Songz onstage at the 2009 Soul Train Awards as part of a performance, Braxton claims the two are in no way related. [E!]
• Taylor Lautner was a bit shocked when Jamie Foxx approached him on the set of Lopez Tonight to ask for an autograph: "All of a sudden I hear this deep voice behind me: 'Taylor, Taylor!' .... And this guy walks up to me and he goes 'Hey ... my daughter is a huge fan, and I'm a huge fan is there any way I can get a picture with you. I'm Jamie Foxx.' I was like, 'Are you kidding me? Can I get a picture with you?'"[People]
• Interesting news for our SNL live thread crew: both James Franco and Taylor Lautner are set to host Saturday Night Live this December. Thoughts? [EW]
• When asked about Kate Moss' recent comments on how "nothing tastes as good as thin feels," Rihanna replied: "I can't believe she said. That is SO crazy. I love food because I'm from Barbados. If I was a catwalk model I'd be considered fat which I know is ridiculous." However: "I don't think people should discriminate against thicker models OR skinny models. If you're size zero you shouldn't be banned from the runway." [NewsOfTheWorld]
• "I don't care how talented you are: doing things like that is not nice. So fuck off ... Kanye just wants attention. As simple as that. He was like it before his mum died. So let's not make excuses. It's not fair to judge other people and to try to destroy their careers. Come on! Just stop it. Be nice!"-Joss Stone, who also thinks Russell Brand is "a disgusting pig. Mean, mean, mean." [Independent]

[New York, November 23. Image via WENN.]

[London, November 18. Image via Flynet]

• Today a judge ruled that Jon Gosselin must pay back $180,000 of the money he removed from his shared bank account with Kate Gosselin in violation of an arbitrator's order. As for the rest of the money...

• Kate's lawyer said, "The remaining sum of $55,000, which Ms. Gosselin used for household bills and expenses relating to the children, will be subject to further determination by the arbitrator at a later date." Jon has to pay by October 26 or be held in contempt. Kate has until that date to detail what she's been spending the money on. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan Tweeted: "@samantharonson doesn't respond 2me b/c her family will cut her off if she contacts me…They control the one I love & im incapable of making any sort of difference. I'm in love with her, as she is in love with me….but her loved ones-hate her brilliance & resent her happiness" [Perez Hilton]
• In the video at the link, a Dallas news anchor asks Oprah, "Would you like to take this opportunity to apologize to America for introducing us to Dr. Phil?" She laughs and says, "Aren't you proud of your boy from Texas?" to which the anchor replies, "No." [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was nominated for five American Music Awards today. His death made him the biggest-selling artist of the year and he was nominated for favorite male artist and favorite album for Number Ones. [Reuters]
• Sources who have heard unreleased Michael Jackson recordings say there are at least two albums worth of material, and some are better than "This Is It." [TMZ]
• Helen Harris-Scott, who once claimed Michael Jackson communicated with her through his music, has filed a creditor's claim for $50 million. She says Michael installed a tracking device in her car, wiretapped her phone and had "organized criminals watching me inside my house in L.A. and reporting to him." [TMZ]
• Robert O'Ryan, Shawn Johnson's alleged stalker, will stand trial for felony stalking, felony commercial burglary and two misdemeanor counts of carrying a loaded firearm in his car. A judge threw out an attempted kidnapping charge because although he had zip ties, duct tape, and a shot gun in his car the judge said there was so much junk in the vehicle that he could not have fit Johnson inside. [TMZ]
• Deputy James Davis, the police officer who arrested Evi Quaid and Randy Quaid, is suing her because she was photographed hanging a hand painted sign accusing him of taking bribes outsider her home. Now another sign has appeared that accuses him of being a "Deputy with Underrated Intelligence." [TMZ]
• NBC has cancelled Southland, but TNT may pick it up. [Hollywood Reporter]
• A Richard Prince exhibition has reopened at the Tate Modern in London after a nude photo of Brooke Shields when she was 10-years-old was removed for possibly violating obscenity laws. Prince was consulted and the picture was replaced with a photo of Shields as an adult. [N.Y. Times]
• The first witness in the preliminary hearing over Anna Nicole Smith's death testified today that she was found with a bottle of the anti-biotic Cipro and a baby bottle full of Pedialyte, which is used to rehydrate children who have diarrhea and vomiting. Anna had the flu. [TMZ]
• The paparazzi caught Maria Shriver talking on a cell phone while driving, which was outlawed by a bill Arnold Schwarzenegger signed last year. [TMZ]
• Paparazzi caught Famke Jannsen with feeding her dog while dining on the patio of a New York restaurant. In New York it is illegal to bring a dog into a restaurant. [TMZ]
• The cover of Q magazine featuring a topless Lily Allen with panthers won a Maggie for the best UK magazine cover of the year. [Guardian]
• Lily Allen is preparing to move in with her new boyfriend Sam Cooper, who is a builder. "They have made enquiries about several terraced properties in Primrose Hill in London," says a source. "Sam's brilliant at planning and design so it makes sense for him to advise on any business ventures. They're so into each other, it's very sweet." [Ok]
• Though they've only been dating for a few weeks Katy Perry wants to introduce Russell Brand to her parents. "Katy is as besotted with Russell as he is with her. However, her parents are extraordinarily strict Christians," says a source. "Katy is sure that, after a bit of getting used to him, they would approve of Russell, but she wants to get that initial meeting out of the way as early as she can." [The Sun]
• Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen saved a lost dog they saw other drivers swerving around in Los Angeles. Sacha called the owners to set up a meeting and said he'd recognize them because, "I'm very tall and my fiancée is really tiny. You can't miss us." [E!]
• PETA is attacking Paris Hilton for buying a pet mini-pig recently, saying she sets a "wretched example" by treating animals like they're "as disposable as her friends and fiances." [TMZ]
• Karina Smirnoff says the rumors she's hooking up with her Dancing With the Stars partner Aaron Carter are "really funny" because judge Len Goodman keeps accusing them of not being sexy enough on the dance floor. "Let me tell you, if that was the case, the dance would have been very raunchy, as Len wanted it to be," she said. [People]
• The autopsy of Boyzone star Stephen Gately, who was found dead on Saturday, shows he died of natural causes. [USA Today]
• Ethan Hawke is on the new cover of Hobo magazine, sitting on a swing looking scruffy and dejected. [Just Jared]
• Tilda Swinton is trying to prevent Donald Trump from developing a golf course in Scotland. He responded: "Where was Tilda Swinton three years ago when everyone else was petitioning? She's a little late in the game don't you think? Swinton is a part of a tiny little group of people who are hanging by a thread. 93% of the public in Scotland are in favor of the project. I have all of my permits and approvals and we're going to start construction in 3 weeks." [TMZ]
• Heidi Klum says she and Seal won't be having any more kids after their new daughter Lou Sulola. "I think that it's a wonderful experience to be pregnant, definitely, but you have to look at what you can do, and four children is a lot!" she said. "It's a big family. We drive a really big VW bus. Now in September, all three children will be going to school. Try to fit three car seats in the back of the car!" [People]
• T.R. Knight told Ellen DeGeneres, "I want a baby... I don't know if it's going to end up working out, but that would be something I would like." [Us]
• Former Spice Girl Emma Bunton's two-year-old son Beau was taken to the hospital last week because he had a bloody lip. Bunton says, "It's been an emotional week for me as Beau had his first accident, which left both of us in tears. He fell over his scooter and his tooth pierced his bottom lip, so there was blood everywhere." He was sent home the same day. [Daily Express]
• Claire Danes says she likes to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge but has never ventured much further into the borough. "That's terrible. I sound terrible," she said. Her husband Hugh Dancy added, "Basically, you're speaking to the most politely pro-Manhattanite person that you've ever met, right here." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "They've turned the word rock into nothing. It's a meaningless word. "It rocks." "That food rocks." "She's rocking in that outfit." They've taken the word and stripped it of all its menace, of all its dirt, of all its sex." — Joan Jett [Esquire]
• Jane Birkin says Serge Gainsbourg "was scared stiff of all breasts. Which was why, when he met me, he said: 'Wow – you have a body just like the ones I drew in art school.' He didn't like bosoms to be high and pert; he liked them lower down, which was just as well, as I'd had a baby. 'I've always dreamt of a girl who had the top of a boy and the bottom of a girl,' he once told me – Serge did like a bottom." [The Telegraph]
• Sharon Stone says she likes the men of old Hollywood like William Powell and Spencer Tracy because, "They're chivalrous and funny and not too politically correct. They still smack a gal on the ass, which I just think is swell. They wear a suit, they have a hat, they drive a car, they have a job. They stand up when you come in the room, say please and thank you. All those old fashioned things go a long way with me." [Showbiz 411]

• Supposedly, Johnny Depp doesn't want to make another Pirates of the Caribbean because he knows the last two "sucked." Disney will offer him a huge paycheck and if he refuses, he'll be replaced by a younger Zac Efron-type.

• The book On Stranger Tides, upon which the fourth Pirates film will be based, leaves room for a younger character to take the lead, but could someone like Shia LaBeouf or Robert Pattinson really fill the void left by Captain Jack? [MTV]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married earlier this month in a small ceremony in France. [Life And Style]
• Jessica Simpson is doing some damage control after the negative reaction to her complaints about having to sleep under a mosquito net in Uganda on Friday. Her rep said, "The accommodations were certainly interesting, but Jessica enjoyed being a part of a totally different culture." And the next day Jess Tweeted on Sunday: "Uganda was truly a beautiful adventure... I will carry the spirit of all the people with me always. God Bless." [People]
• Roman Polanski's lawyer called into Good Morning America today to say that though his client was arrested in Switzerland on Saturday, he's in "very good shape" and he believes it will be possible for Polanski "to obtain his freedom." [TMZ]
• French foreign minister Bernard Kouchner called Roman Polanski's arrest a "bit sinister" and a petition protesting his detention is going around Hollywood. So far Monica Bellucci and Fanny Ardant have signed. Harvey Weinstein said, "We're calling on every film-maker we can to help fix this terrible situation." [BBC]
• Roman Polanski has refused to be extradited from Switzerland to the United States. [AFP]
• Two previous attempts to arrest Roman Polanski when he travelled to countries that have extradition treaties to the U.S. failed because he learned of the plans and cancelled his trips. But he travels to Switzerland frequently and "had no suspicion he'd be entrapped" according to a source. [People]
• TMZ has obtained the 911 call that lead to David Hasselhoff being taken to the hospital last week. In the first, one of his ex-wife Pamela Bach's friends calls 911 to report an incident at Hasselhoff's home, but when the dispatcher calls the house and get his daughter Hayley, she says, "Turn around ... we're completely fine... My mom is trying to cause something ... nothing happened here at all." [TMZ]
• Burglars broke into Gwen Stefani's London mansion to steal her jewelry on Saturday night while she was at a concert in Singapore. They got into a flat Stefani rents to Dame Elizabeth Forgan, head of the Arts Council, but were unable to get into Stefani's flat. [Daily Mail]
• Britney Spears went to the Sugar Factory candy store in Las Vegas this weekend and spent $3,000. She bought three Halloween baskets, two buckets of Swedish Fish, a box of milk chocolate, and 25 of her own Circus Tour lollipops for $25 a piece. [TMZ]
• Pleasant Bridgewater, the Bahamian senator who was charged with extortion over a document regarding medical treatment for Jett Travolta, may have destroyed the document in question, a Refusal of Treatment/Transportation order signed by John Travolta. [People]
• Pamela Anderson is denying that she didn't pay contractors who worked on her home because she's broke, explaining, "I'm financially secure... It is true that I am in a dispute with some of the contractors working on my home. This is because after paying millions of dollars to build the house I continue to get bills from the contractors." [People]
• She adds, "Mistakes may have been made in calculating taxes owed and we are now in the process of ensuring that any taxes owed are paid." [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian Tweeted after her sister Khloe's wedding: "Tonight was one of the best nights of my life!" [People]
• The day after Khloe's wedding Kim Kardashian supposedly took a flight to New Orleans to see Reggie Bush. "The wedding made her miss him, so she flew to see him," says a source. [E!]
• This week, Lady Gaga will be honored as Billboard's "Rising Star" as the publication's annual Women in Music event. [AP]
• Evi and Randy Quaid's former private investigator Becky Altringer says that Evi frequently used a bad credit card under the name Janet Cross. [Radar Online]
• Altringer adds, "Randy told me that none of his family will see or talk to him because of Evi... He told me that he really misses his mother and his brother Dennis, but that they are all afraid of Evi. I used to see him tear up when he'd talk about them." [Radar Online]
• Mackenzie Phillips says of her family's reaction to her incest allegations, "Don't get me wrong, I understand that my family doesn't want this played out nationally, but the people who are saying that I'm lying have known about it for such a long time. [They're] trying to discredit me in a public way to either protect the brand of The Mamas and the Papas or to protect the memory of [my father.] ... I absolutely loved my father, but he wasn't a good man. He was deeply flawed." [CBS News]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt adopted a second puppy. Nine weeks ago they got a maltipoo puppy named Dolly and they says, "We're getting Dolly's brother and naming him Inky the Ninja!" [People]
• In the audiobook of Patrick Swayze's book Time of My Life, which he narrates, he says he felt "anger, bitterness and despair" when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. [People]
• Ben Lee and Ione Skye welcomed a daughter, Goldie Priya Lee, on Thursday. [People]
• First Republic Bank has put a hold on Frances Bean Cobain's $1.2 million trust fund because there's a dispute over whether Courtney Love or the Laird Norton Tyee Trustee Company has the right to access her account. Love's attorney says the band is just stalling because she and the trustee had agreed to move the money to a different bank and First Republic doesn't want to lose the account. [TMZ]
• Jaime Kennedy is claiming that a now-former assistant is responsible for the reports that he was cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt. Perez Hilton suggests that Kennedy himself may have called and accused "Miguel" of making the rumors up. [Perez Hilton]
• Fred Durst and wife of two months, Esther Nazarov, have split up. He announced on Twitter: "For those of you inquiring, I will confirm that Esther and I have decided to go our separate ways and we both thank you for your support." He added, "We remain very positive and wish only the best for each other." [Perez Hilton]
• Jude Law says of playing Hamlet on Broadway, "He demands such a reveal of your inner feelings and thoughts that you have to open yourself up to him and see where he takes you." [Style.com]
• Kristin Cavallari says of working on The Hills, "I pretty much do anything they have me do because I don't care... I mean, we're filming a TV show. Let's make it interesting. Let's have a good time with it."
  [L.A. Times]
• Jeremy Piven's RocknRolla co-star Ludacris is clearing up the murcury poisoning rumors once and for all. He says: "A lot of people thought he was making up the mercury poisoning thing. I'm telling you, as his friend trying to look out for him, when he was around me, he definitely OD'd on fish."
  [N.Y. Observer]

• Billy Ray Cyrus knows you're worried about Miley Cyrus dancing on an ice cream cart while holding a pole, and he has this to say:

"You know what? I just think that Miley loves entertaining people… I always tell her to love what you're doing and stay focused for the love of the art and not worry so much about opinion," In other words: Keep on poledancin', honey! [Access Hollywood]

• Miley Cyrus has a new man, her Last Song costar Liam Hemsworth, 18. A quick Google search finds him fairly cute. Or, you know, hot. [Gatecrasher]
• Gerard Butler threw Jennifer Aniston into the trunk of a car yesterday… on the set of The Bounty. [NY Post]
• Madonna — recently seen kissing Jesus Luz in Portofino, Italy while on a break from touring — is happy to have Luz around. And her kids "see Jesus as 'Mommy's friend.'" [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ugh: Stomach-churning details from the Jasmine Fiore murder. Cops claim that the murdered model's teeth and fingers were removed, probably to keep authorities from ID'ing the body. Suspect Ryan Jenkins (Jasmine's ex-husband), who taped Megan Wants A Millionaire in March, is still at large. [AP]
• The producers of Megan Wants A Millionaire say: "[The production company] was not aware of Ryan Jenkins' record when it cast him… Obviously, if the company had been given a full picture of his background, he would never have been allowed on the show. The company did have in place what it thought was a thorough vetting process that involved complete background checks by an outside company for all contestants on its shows. Clearly, the process did not work properly in this case." Jenkins was convicted of assaulting a girlfriend in 2005. [TMZ]
• Robert Hasman, a former boyfriend of Jasmine Fiore, was texting with Jasmine right before she died. She texted Hasman, saying she was going to Las Vegas to see him. TMZ claims: "It appears [Ryan] Jenkins may have seen the text because Hasman received a text shortly after saying 'suck it.'" Did the text set Jenkins off and send him into a murderous rage? [TMZ]
• Hmm. Jasmine Fiore never told her "mother figure" she married Ryan Jenkins. [CNN]
• A woman charged with snooping at Britney Spears' home in April has been sentenced to three years probation and 240 hours of community service. [Contact Music]
• Lindsay Lohan and Michael Lohan are NOT distant and are always happy to see each other. Says Michael Lohan. [Radar Online]
• Lindsay Lohan Tweeted that she'd be shopping at a store in downtown Manhattan yesterday afternoon, and then complained to friends, "Why are there all these people here?" when she arrived and found a pack of paparazzi outside the store. [Page Six]
• Let's just pretend this Heidi Montag workout website and fitness e-book is not happening, mmmkay? [Perez]
• Maybe we can also pretend that Spencer Pratt isn't talking about his new book How To Be Famous and saying stuff like "If I weren't me, I'd hate me. When you're the villain, you don't have to worry about how your enemy feels." [Gatecrasher]
• "Battle of the busty blonde singers: Heidi Montag and Kim Zolciak face off on the airwaves." [NY Daily News]
• BREAKING: Tyra Banks and rumored boyfriend John Utendahl had dinner. [Page Six]
• Katy Perry weighs in on the Lady Gaga-has-a-penis rumor: "Oh please, it's all very calculated. She knows what she's doing." As calculated as a former Christian singer warbling about a same-sex kiss? [LA Times]
• Hayden Panettiere, 20, is now dating Pink Taco owner Harry Morton, son of Hard Rock mogul Peter Morton. This column notes: "Harry, 28, is only slightly more age-appropriate for Panetierre than her 32-year-old ex, Milo Ventimiglia." [Page Six]
• Claire Danes looks smoking hot wearing platforms and fishnets in this photo shoot. [BlackBook]
• Some idiot threw a dildo at American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert during a show, and "Glambert" kicked it right back into the crowd. [Perez]
• Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon was on the Wendy Williams show when she let it slip that Jamie Foxx had a new baby. Apparently this had been a secret, but the baby girl's mother is a real-estate agent, described as "tall, muscular, pretty, brunette and white." [Mirror]
• Usher's ex-wife Tameka Foster wrote a blog entry for the Huffington Post called "She's Pretty For A Dark-Skinned Girl." Author Aisha Curry wrote the book Pretty For A Black Girl in 2007 and says: "I cannot and will not say she stole my idea, because you never should assume. However, I will say that It seemed like one heck of a coincidence and everything I touched on she did." [ONTD]
• Here's an interview with Michael Jackson's personal artist, David Nordahl, who created mythical and fantastical paintings for the King Of Pop. He created a work called Field of Dreams, in which MJ leads children of all nationalities (plus sister Janet, AIDS activist Ryan White and actor Macaulay Culkin) on a sunlit path. Click through for a different painting of MJ surrounded by cherubs. [USA Today]
• "A chubby clinic worker has claimed he had a LOVE AFFAIR with Michael Jackson." [The Sun]
• Tickets for the Michael Jackson movie go on sale September 27. [CNN]
• If you take pictures of Kenny Chesney during his concert, he will jump down and steal your memory card. [UPI]
• The divorce between Kelis and Nas is getting down to the dirty details: Who should get how much money. Apparently Nas makes about $244,000 a month; Kelis makes a mere $13,000 a month. She's asking for child support, spousal support, retro child support and retro spousal support. Maybe she should sing a song that's like, "Hey, hubby, baby I want your money…" Oh. Wait. [TMZ]
• Real Housewife Of Orange County Lynne Curtin was supposed to be evicted from her home but the papers were served to her daughter, who's a minor. [TMZ]
• Ladies love Salman Rushdie. [Page Six]
• Nelly and Ashanti: Splitsville. [Gatecrasher]
• Barbra Streisand's ex-boyfriend is auctioning off tapes he made of her earliest performances, in case you have $1 million lying around. [Page Six]
• Kids In The Hall reunion! [Variety]
• Billy Bob Thornton will star in a boxing flick called Pound for Pound, based on a novel by F.X. Toole, the author of the book that became Million Dollar Baby. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• "I don't think I have ever changed a diaper." — newly pregnant Kourtney Kardashian. [E!]
• "I wish my dad was here, but I know that he is here with us [in spirit], and I feel like this is definitely a blessing from him. It's bittersweet, and that's how I feel about getting married, too. I almost don't want to get married because I don't want him to not be there." — Kourtney Kardashian, on being pregnant without being able to talk to her late father, famed attorney Robert Kardashian. [People]
• "People come up to me in airports, and they're asking for my autograph not because I'm the drummer for the Chili Peppers. They really think I'm Will Ferrell. [I say] 'No, I'm not.' But they're still like, 'I loved you in 'Old School.' You're so funny.'" — Chad Smith. And really, the side by side pictures show an uncanny resemblance. [Gatecrasher]
• "He's such a cutie patootie. Sometimes I forget just how good-looking he is. While relationships are work, this just didn't feel like it. It's the kind of work that feels energizing rather than enervating. There's that pledge, and people talk about it being claustrophobic but I find it the opposite. I find it very freeing to know that, okay, it takes constant nurturing and attention, but I can also stop looking for the one-that's established. I can apply myself in other ways now. I have more time and energy to get shit done." — Claire Danes on recognizing fiancée Hugh Dancy is "the one." [BlackBook]
• "The fun thing about surgery is that they always have new things and you can always try things. I'm not sure what's on that list right now, but I'm sure as I get older, I'll want to keep up with maintenance as most Hollywood does." — Heidi Montag. [Perez]

• After shooting a fight scene for The Bounty, a source says Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler were "lovey-dovey" and "we saw him give her a little kiss." He was also throwing peanuts and popcorn in her mouth. [Radar Online]

• Jennifer Aniston feels "rejected and upset" because Bradley Cooper chose Renee Zellweger over her. "She wanted to turn her date with Cooper into something...she honestly feels screwed over," says a source. [Us]
• It's only been a few days since Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn announced that they're divorcing, but he's already been spotted partying with two different women. [TMZ]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall are fighting on the set of SATC 2 because Kim's upset that she just broke up with her boyfriend Alan Wyse. "Sarah is too busy to comfort Kim or worry about her problems at the moment, and she basically told her as much," says a source. "Kim has been moping around, feeling sorry for herself and Sarah basically told her to snap out of it and buck up her ideas." [This Is London]
• Ryan Jenkins has been charged with the murder of Jasmine Flore by the Orange County D.A. [TMZ]
• The murder complaint against Ryan Jenkins says his bail recommendation is $10 million and a wanted poster warns that he's "armed and dangerous." [TMZ]
• The police got a "Ramey Warrent" for Ryan Jenkins that lets them bypass the D.A. and go directly to the judge, which is often used in cases when a suspect is on the run. [TMZ]
• Police have confirmed that Ryan Jenkins has entered Canada. It seems he took a boat from Washington State to Canada, then abandoned the boat and entered the country on foot. [People]
• Ryan Jenkins has business ties to Honduras and that may be his final destination. [TMZ]
• A criminal complaint had been filed against Ryan Jenkins for allegedly hitting Jasmine Flore "in the arm with his fist" in June. [TMZ]
• TMZ has an email Ryan Jenkins sent to Jasmine Fiore three weeks before she was murdered. He wrote: "Your [sic] my angel, despite what we've done to each other." [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson says Michael Jackson's burial has been pushed to August 31, two days after what would have been his 51st birthday because there are still things the family needs to get in order, that apparently they didn't get to in the past two months. [TMZ]
• Katherine Jackson asked a judge to let her show a confidential AEG Michael Jackson memorabilia deal to her financial advisors. AEG has threatened to pull out because the company is worried people are losing interest in MJ. [TMZ]
• Tito Jackson and Gladys Knight will do a U.K. tour called the "Midnight Train to Love," as a tribute to Michael Jackson. Tito will perform songs by MJ and the Jackson 5, as well as music from his upcoming album. [Reuters]
• Promoters for the global Michael Jackson tribute concert in Vienna say the web site crashed half an hour before ticket sales were set to star because a million people had logged on. 85,000 passes are available for the September 26 concert. [AP]
• David Copperfield said (through lawyers during an interview because the reporter started asking her, "Who's your favorite Australian..." The manager thought the reporter was going to ask about Australian designer Katie Perry, who Katy was in a legal battle with earlier this year, but the reporter says she just wanted to know who her favorite Australian artist is. [The Sun]
• Snoop Dogg had to poll the audience during Who Wants To Be A Millionaire because he didn't know the name of the character with an inkblot on his face from Watchmen. He said, "Man I seen that movie too and I fell asleep on it." [The Sun]
• Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Oz are suing a websites for products like "Colon Pro Cleanse, Power Colon Cleanse, Colon Max" that feature their images, names, and voices. Their lawyers say the companies are cashing in "on the false premise that [the products] have been tested or recommended by Miss Winfrey and/or Dr. Oz when they have not." [TMZ]
• Oprah Winfrey is planning a huge party for the 10th anniversary of O, The Oprah Magazine, in May. She may hold a concert at Radio City Music Hall or close down New York's West Side Highway for a charity event. [E!]
• At first the owner of the Centerville Pie Co. on Cape Cod denied that she sold Oprah Winfrey's entourage 20 pies, but Oprah herself called the Cape Cod Times to say, "the pie-gate escapade actually did happen." [AP]
• Paula Abdul was in negotiations to play Helen on Ugly Betty but was replaced with Kristen Johnston due to her list of demands, which possibly included a private jet. Johnston said, "I've always considered myself the poor man's Paula Abdul." [Entertainment Weekly]
• Richard Hatch was serving out the end of his sentence on house arrest but was returned to prison on Tuesday when he gave an unauthorized interview to NBC and now the ACLU is getting involved. A spokesman said, "It's appalling to think that he has been sent to jail merely for speaking to the media about his own court case." [AP]
• Bjork and her husband Matthew Barney are buying a co-op in Brooklyn. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Jordan Scott, who wrote an obscure vampire novel called The Nocturne is suing Stephenie Meyer because she says she stole ideas from her book for Breaking Dawn. [Reuters]
• Though it was reported that Lady Gaga would be toning things down when her tour stopped in Israel, at her last performance she faked an orgasm onstage and screamed, "Get your dicks out. Cause I heard there some pretty big cocks here in Israel!" [ONTD]
• Claire Danes is wearing fishnets and a leotard on the cover of BlackBook here: [BlackBook]
• "Life, that's what this record is about... It's so easy for me to do a boy-bashing pop song, but to sit down and write honestly about something that's really close to me, something I've been through, it's a totally different thing." — Avril Lavigne on her new record. [Rolling Stone]
• You can watch the new video for "Run This Town" featuring Jay-Z, Rihanna, and Kanye West here: [Just Jared]
• Jared Kushner asked for Donald Trump's permission to marry his daughter, Ivanka Trump. She says, "I thought it was adorable." [People]
• RHOA's Nene Leakes says despite co-star Kim Zolciak's accusations, she hasn't been cheating on her husband, Gregg Leakes, with NFL player Charles Grant. Nene says, "Charles is not anybody I'm seeing. I want to know where Kim gets the information from." [Star Magazine]
• Bill Cosby will be presented the Mark Twin Prize for American Humor at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts by Jerry Seinfeld in October. [AP]
• Mickey Rourke says of filming The Wrestler, "I'm not 20 years old any more and when they throw your ass down, something is gonna hurt. My back would go out, my knee would go out. I had three MRIs in the first two months. If they would say they want to make Part 2, I would say, 'No, thank you.'" [AP]
• Lucy Clarkson, the model for Lara Croft says she had bulimia. "It makes me angry when I see very thin celebrities who are clearly not their natural body shape denying it. That sends out the wrong message. There are girls as young as five saying they think they are too fat," says Clarkson. "The industry wants you to look a certain way. For Lara Croft they wanted me to be quite muscular, so I was working out with a personal trainer. My curves were in demand from lingerie companies and men's magazines, but the fashion world pressured me to be skinny." [The Star]
• Kourtney Kardashian gives a run through of all the baby gifts she's already received at the link, but says she and boyfriend Scott Disick are also studying up on childbirth online. She says, "We watch these videos together on some random Web site I found called healthguru.com. They have videos which tell you what to expect, like the size of the baby at different stages, what the baby is doing inside. They're cool. Neither of us have read a book, but we're going to." [People]
• Apparently it's standard now to ask pregnant women if they'd pose nude. Kourtney Kardashian said: "I think so. I'd have to think about it." [Us]
• Heidi Klum says she and Seal won't be having any more kids after their fourth child is born. "We're outnumbered," say Klum. "Four is perfect. Three is a lot. But four? It's a lot of work. We're hands-on, and we feel like this is what we can handle." [USA Today]

• Surprise, surprise: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are a "complete nightmare" for the people working on the Miss Universe pageant in the Bahamas, where Heidi is supposed to perform on Sunday night. An insider says:

"Heidi has missed many rehearsals… Spencer tried to demand that the hotel pay him to lay by the pool." Dear Miss Universe People: You have no one to blame but yourselves. [Page Six]

• BREAKING: Courtney Love caught in bed with a turtle. [The Sun]
• Renée Zellweger dared to attend a movie premiere without Bradley Cooper; he took his parents and not Renée to Alyssa Milano's wedding. Scandalous. [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin visited kids with cancer at an NYC hospital on Tuesday, possibly in an attempt to rehabilitate his image? [Us]
• Authorities now suspect that reality show "star" Ryan Alexander Jenkins — suspected of killing his wife, Jasmine Fiore — crossed over the Canadian border on foot after driving his SUV to Blaine, Washington. [TMZ]
• Save the date: September 14. Whitney Houston will give her first full-length interview in almost seven years to… Oprah. Of course. As you may recall, in 2002, Whitney sat down with Diane Sawyer, and memorably declared: "Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack." [Mirror, NY Daily News]
• Venus and Serena Williams are in talks to become part owners in the Miami Dolphins. [AP]
• Magician David Copperfield has been sued for sexual assault. The woman is a 22-year-old fashion model and alleges that the incident happened when she was a guest on his private island in the Bahamas in 2007. She says he attacked and sexually assaulted her, threatening to kill her if she didn't go along. [TMZ]
• Jay Leno's new show will spotlight new young comedians. "I hope people become famous and get offered shows." But he won't just have "a bunch of white guys doing standup" — he plans to have a "diverse group," including women, African-Americans and other minorities. [AP]
• Will Paula Abdul return to American Idol? Focus groups may make that decision. "Fox loves focus groups," an insider says. "If Paula consistently scores far higher than any other person in her chair, they will feel compelled to make her an offer she can't refuse and make this deal happen." Another source says: "There will be four judges at American Idol come January. And that fourth judge will be Paula Abdul." [MSNBC]
• Paula Abdul's manager says that there have been "no discussions whatsoever about Idol." [LA Times]
• Amy Winehouse went out to dinner and then for drinks and the paparazzi took snaps of her a little tipsy on her way home and zoomed in on her nose and claim there's a "mystery substance" up her nose but honestly you can't see a damn thing. [Daily Mail]
• "Got Line Flu Amy?" [The Sun]
• "Oprah Winfrey and her favorite physician, "Dr. Oz," filed suit yesterday to shut down more than 500 Web sites that falsely claim the pair endorses the sites' diet pills and miracle cures." [NY Post]
• Russell Brand wears a top hat, dances in the streets and sings the lyrics "sexual rewards" in this new MTV VMA promo. [ONTD]
• Expect to see heavy cross-promotion between Project Runway and Harvey Weinstein-produced flick Nine. [Page Six]
• Pauly Shore pulled a Christian Bale and had an on-set meltdown while filming Brand Dead. Seems fake, but you be the judge. [TMZ, TMZ]
• A source says Jennifer Hudson thinks of her newborn child as a gift from beyond after her family was murdered: "She wasn't trying to get pregnant… She believes her mother played a part in sending this gift from God. She tells everyone her mother sent this baby to pull her through this." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Eva Longoria will star in a Mexican film about kidnapping, which means she will be in a Spanish-speaking role for the first time. [AP]
• Figure skater Brian Boitano is now a TV chef, with his Food Network show, What Would Brian Boitano Make? premiering Sunday. Turns out the Oylmpic gold medalist is a foodie, and the Food Network's VP of programming says his passion and command of cooking is "one of the biggest, happiest surprises I've gotten in my career." [LA Times]
• As mentioned yesterday, Leona Lewis tracks have been leaked onto the Internet. One was a song produced by Justin Timberlake. A police investigation is ongoing. [Daily Mail]
• Pete Doherty is planning on getting the Libertines back together, even if Carl "Biggles" Barat doesn't want to join. "If Biggles doesn't want to do it or gets cold feet or he thinks I'm still a crackhead, what am I going to do? Maybe I could reform the Libertines without him, like he did without me. I wouldn't really want to, but you've got to pay the bills. I'll put an advert in the NME: 'Carlos lookalike required.'" [Independent]
• District 9 sequel? Maybe. It's already being referred to as District 10. [NY Daily News]
• Nora Jones is about to release her first album in three years; this column claims she has a new look and a new sound. (Cute hair!) [USA Today]
• Phil Spector has been writing letters from prison: He fears for his safety, enjoys visits from his wife and would like to be moved to "a better prison." [USA Today]
• "I loved New York, even back then (1980s graffiti-scarred, pre-Giuliani New York). It was such an overwhelming animal. I loved the energy and attitude of the place. It's great for being productive and creative." —Eric Bana, who's on the cover of Men's Health. [Just Jared]
• "It's a lot of material to fill. It is a lot of jokes. This is lot more work. A lot more work. You're doing probably three shows worth of comedy every night. On The Tonight Show we had maybe two talking guests and a band. That's not a lot of work for me. But this will be a lot more work." — Jay Leno on his new show. [Reuters]
• "I remember sensing that my mother was holding something back from me. I used to think I had done something wrong because she could be so distant. I knew there was something going on that I didn't know about and because I was a child I thought it was my fault. It took me years to work out that she had actually been protecting me from racism… There were comments and my mother kept all that away from us and to do that she had be a barrier between us and them." — Thandie Newton, who says she and her brother were the only mixed-race kids in their area when growing up. [Daily Express]
• "Before I played Ari Gold, I was in probably 40 movies and playing a lot of very soft-spoken characters, also-rans, best friends and whatnot. That was all easily forgotten as soon as I put Ari's power suit on." — Jeremy Piven. [Time]
• "[The culture here] isn't based on anything other than ‘Who got a boob job?' That's what I feel L.A. is about. A lot of people here want to be everyone but themselves." — Mila Kunis. [Just Jared]
• "Oh my God! I was on the set of Two and a Half Men when I heard. I had all these texts, and at first I thought it was a hoax. What struck me was I hadn't seen him in years, and when I think about it, I really owe an enormous amount of my career to him. And it made me sad because it made me realize that you've really got to let people know it when you're grateful to them. They won't always be here and I regret that I didn't do that. But I have very fond memories. He was a lovely guy and knew exactly what he wanted. He'll be greatly missed." — Jon Cryer on the death of John Hughes. [Reuters]
• "I was talking to my friend about [whether monogamy] is feasible, is it realistic? I resolved that there isn't really a better model. We just can't shake monogamy. It definitely demands a kind of rigor and discipline and selflessness. But it's also fun." — Claire Danes, to BlackBook. [Page Six]
• "I like clever folks. I like people who are concerned with [what] the path they leave behind them looks like… Empathy, humor, wit, self reliance and honesty. [Being attractive] doesn't hurt." —Renée Zellweger, on what she looks for in a man. [People]

• Helena Christensen is one of the many hailing British Vogue's Alexandra Shulman. "Obviously I am of the same belief," said the supermodel photographer. "Aren't we in a business that is supposed to explore all kinds of shapes and silhouettes?" [WWD]

• H&M is famous for its sought-after designer collaborations. Matthew Williamson's of this summer being just the latest in a long, mostly successful, line. But the Swedish fast-fashion giant has never brought a high-profile shoe maker on board — until now. Behold: Jimmy Choo for H&M. Jimmy Choo accessories collections for women and men will be in 200 stores November 14. [Reuters]
• Designer Malcolm Harris, of the label Mal Sirrah, hung up on Angelina Jolie when she rang to inquire about one of his dresses. Twice. Harris thought it was a prank; Jolie still bought three of them for $225 apiece. [P6]
• So how did designer Zac Posen get ready for the CFDAs? "I was on Perez Hilton all day." [The Cut]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy are getting hitched, and, no surprises here, Danes is choosing her favorite designer (and CFDA date) Narciso Rodriguez to make her wedding dress. The actress says the process is "intimate" and often makes her "weepy." [People]
• Rodriguez even whipped out a needle and thread to repair the train of Danes' dress at the CFDAs after a fellow guest stepped on it and it ripped. [NYDN]
• Kanye West went on a $5,000 spending spree at a Chicago store called Deliciously Vintage. With no lady in sight while he shopped, speculation is rife as to who'll get the haul. Amber Rose? Kanye himself in the privacy of his own multi-million dollar home? Rife, we say. [TMZ]
• Vera Wang was unwilling to confirm that she would be on the next season of Dancing With The Stars at the CFDAs. "They approach a lot of people, not just me," said the designer. As for going on the show, "We haven't decided. They haven't and I haven't." [The Cut]
• Esteban Cortazar, the young Colombian designer who has helmed the troubled house of Ungaro since 2007, says he is still at the company. Despite rumors of an acrimonious split, and a lawsuit on the part of Cortazar, at the CFDAs he told journalists "I am still there," but admitted, "We are trying to work things out. We have had some differences but hopefully things will work out for the best, whether I am there or not." [WWD]
• Agyness Deyn, says an anonymous friend, is considering quitting modelling and moving back to London to pursue roles in British indie films. [Mirror]
• Karl Lagerfeld made his transition into film — assuming we're not counting the excellent doc Lagerfeld Confidential — by providing the voice for an animated kid's movie villain. The designer apparently worked hard through take and re-take, bringing his famous perfectionism to bear on the character of a bitter ex-model who kidnaps people in order to "fabulous" them, or turn them into his own image. "He was very serious about it and very open to criticism," said his spokesperson. [WWD]
• Super-stylist Nicola Formichetti: "I hate the whole idea of celebrity in America. It's so boring — all fake smiles and big business. It seems like you can sell crap if you put a famous name on it. America's crazy, you know?" [The Cut]
• Eddie Van Halen's held a copyright on the famous red, black and white striped pattern of his Frankenstein guitar since 2001. So how did it end up adorning the soles of a bunch of Nikes? The rocker's lawyers sure wanna find out. [WWD]
• Sales are so bad at the Gap that the company might use a different advertising agency for its holiday campaign, after a seven-year unbroken streak with the same house. [AdAge]
• Also agency shopping: Zappos. [BrandWeek]
• Check out the new Isabel Toledo exhibit at the Museum at FIT on video. Ms. Toledo and her husband are on hand to talk about their history in fashion, and that dress that Michelle Obama wore that one time on the Mall. [The Cut]
• Aeropostale, one of the mall chains whose business isn't hanging by a thread during the recession, plans to launch P.S., a new line for 7-12-year-olds. [WWD]
• MTV VJ Alexa Chung once said of her retirement, "Modelling gave me a distorted body image. As soon as I stopped, I realised how ridiculous it all was. I went on about it because I was really fed up with modelling –- it's like I was saying negative things to reinforce in my mind that I had to get out. I never say or think those things now. I've used up all that neurosis –- there's none left. It's just really boring. I'd rather have a bigger brain than smaller bones." Apparently, Chung still models — when the project suits her. She's turned up in the look book for quirky L.A. label Wren. [Fashionista]
• A worker at London's Oxford St. Topshop flagship has a confirmed case of the H1N1 swine flu virus. The store reportedly sees over 200,000 visitors a week. Topshop has no plans to close it. [Racked]
• Giorgio Armani is set to unveil his latest scent, Idole d'Armani, next month. Polish actress Kasia Smutniak will be the face of the brand. [Reuters]
• Calvin Klein designers Italo Zucchelli and Francisco Costa defend their racy billboard against the pearl-clutchers of SoHo. (Or something.) Said Costa, "There was no intention of making that controversial. Just make beautiful ads. And they're beautiful ads. And I think, you know, we're such a forward society, but we tend to be a little prudish sometimes. It's New York City! It's the 21st century! Honey, we have to move on!" Zucchelli called the ad "In the best tradition of Calvin Klein," and said, "It's my favorite campaign ever! ...Everyone needs to be scandalized and screaming. That is what we want." [The Cut]
• The economy goes one way, shoplifting statistics go another. [WWD]
• Sophia Kokosalaki is moving to helm Diesel's Black Gold line. [WWD]
• After the hash-up of a bankruptcy auction, eventual owners of the Filene's Basement chain, Syms and Vornado Realty, say they want to proceed with their purchase as quickly as possible. [WWD]

• Looks like Lindsay Lohan's stalking paid off: Her new Twitter message says:

"Leaving London but with my favorite favorite!!!" Then she was photographed at the airport with… Samantha Ronson. And another Tweet from LL reads: "Great news to share!! Maybe .... ;)" [People, The Sun]

• Lindsay and Sam were seen holding hands while walking into the first class lounge. [Daily Mail]
• Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are finito, which means Megan will have to get that tattoo removed. And! Megan may have hooked up with sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson, after which he blew her off. Dramz! [E!]
• Madonna may be able to adopt Mercy after all?!?! A source says: "The paperwork is being typed up now." [Mirror]
• A "friend" of Madonna's says: "She made a promise that she wouldn't give up on Mercy and, believe me, she could move mountains when she's this determined." [Telegraph]
• By the by, someone has paid more than £15,000 for that lovely Peter Howson painting of naked Madonna and thuggish-looking Guy Ritchie. [The Star]
• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy: Definitely engaged. [Page Six]
• Hold on to your panties, here are ten life-changing words: Simon Cowell remake of Saturday Night Fever starring Zac Efron. [Telegraph]
• What is Chris Brown afraid of? He's been seen "surrounded by bodyguards" at all times lately — as many as five. [Page Six]
• Miley Cyrus had to say goodbye to her main man, Justin Gaston, because she's heading off to Georgia to film a Nicholas Sparks movie. A post on the 16-year-old's Twitter read: "'my heart is in two... and its all because of you.' a song i am starting to write :)" As for 20-year-old Justin, his Twitter says: "Haven't been this miserable in a looong time." Remember, kids: Absence makes the heart go wander! [Us Magazine]
• What a difference a day makes! Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt now claim that the reports of torture are "false and inaccurate." One thing is for sure: These people know how to get their names in the paper every damn day. [People]
• Oh, God: When the show is over, Heidi Montag will launch a dry-shampoo line. [JustJared]
• A Yankee insider bitches: "First we dealt with all the Madonna mayhem, now we're on to Kate [Hudson]. It's distracting." [MSNBC Sccop]
• Kate Hudson and A-Rod left a club separately so no one would think they'd been together. [Page Six]
• Today in "crazy cat lady" news: Susan Boyle will take her beloved kitty Pebbles with her on tour. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ugh, if you're interested in this, it's here: David Carradine's ex-wife reveals his "shocking" sex secrets — tying himself up, drowning himself and tattoos and piercings. [Radar Online]
• Kelly Bensimon is off the hook regarding that assault case in which she allegedly hit ex-boyfriend Nicolas Stefanov in the face: the case was dismissed when Stefanov didn't show up to court. [E!]
• More Real Housewife gossip: Countess LuAnn de Lesseps was seen making out wit h a guy in his 20s; Kelly Bensimon was seen nuzzling with Gerard Butler. [Gatecrasher]
• After getting hit by scenery on stage at the Tonys, Bret Michaels suffered a fractured nose and had to have three stitches in his lip. [Gatecrasher]
• Congrats to Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford, who gave birth to a baby girl last night. [Radar Online]
• Olympic gymnast and Dancing With the Stars champ Shawn Johnson is mulling an offer to star in a film for kids. [E!]
• David Letterman: About to sign a deal to continue hosting the Late Show for 3 more years. [Reuters]
• On the movie Nine: "'It was an amazing experience,' says Fergie, who plays a prostitute. 'It was all about the character, not about me, so I could gain weight and not be self-conscious about it.'" [USA Today]
• Prince Harry is supposedly dating TV presenter Caroline Flack, and she supposedly calls him by the codeword "Jam," because he's got jam-coloured hair and he's sweet." [The Sun]
• Gossip and rumors from the set of the Robin Hood movie: Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott are "squabbling," ; Crowe had to go on a crash diet to lose 35 lbs because a producer said "We can't have Robin Hood looking more like Friar Tuck" ; they're totally not singing that oo-de-lally song. Boo. [Page Six]
• Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas will leave their home on Bermuda to work on projects: He's starring in a movie about Liberace (?!?!) as well as the Wall Street sequel. [Telegraph]
• Last week, Nadya Suleman bashed Kate Gosselin; this week, she feels bad about it. "I kind of self-reflected on why I did that, and I felt really guilty," Suleman says. "I was annoyed. I was fed up. I was probably misplacing my frustration about all of this invasive media crap onto her." Or: You missed the attention. Just a thought! [MSNBC]
• Canceled NBC show My Name Is Earl might live on — with new episodes on TBS, the network which airs its repeats. [Reuters]
• Househunting in London: Sacha Baron Cohen. [The Sun]
• A hearing date has been set for Howard K. Stern — to determine if he must stand trial for illegally supplying Anna Nicole Smith with prescription drugs. Things begin in August. [Reuters]
• Twilight author Stephenie Meyer has ditched her MySpace account. "It was a lot of fun while it lasted," she wrote on her official website. "With MySpace no longer in existence, I can now clearly state that...there is no other outlet where I communicate with people online," Meyer continued. "I do not have a Facebook page, and I have never had one. I don't do Twitter. So if you're communicating with someone online that you think is me, it's not." [E!]
• Additional Twilight news: Disney star Selena Gomez and hunky native werewolf Taylor Launter: Splitsville. [UPI]
• TV chef Gordon Ramsay called Aussie TV journalist Tracy Grimshaw a pig and a lesbian; she's calling him an "arrogant narcissist." It's a mess. [News.com.au]
• Gordon Ramsay says the insults he made were "blown out of context." [Mirror]
• Kelly Clarkson says she sympathizes with Susan Boyle: "She's from a small town, I'm from a smaller town. You have to focus on the people that are really positive around you. It takes time." [The Sun]
• Liam Neeson is in talks to play Hannibal in the big-screen adaptation of A-team. Bradley Cooper might play Faceman. No word on Mr. T's involvement, but I pity the fool who thinks he can replace him. [Variety]
• Bryce Dallas Howard has written a drama called The Originals, "an ensemble film about a group of twentysomethings who reconvene for a weekend in New York after learning that the teacher who shaped their childhoods has fallen into a mysterious coma." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• The wife of baseball player Barry Bonds has filed for legal separation. [TMZ]
• Phil Spector's wife says he is being treated "worse than an animal" in jail. It's not supposed to be enjoyable… [NME]
• Uh, what? "Children as young as five were 'confused and worried' after teachers played them a recording of Elton John's 'Your Song' in an effort to explain homosexuality." [Mirror]
• A silver menorah which once belonged to Sammy Davis Jr. failed to sell for $9,000 at auction. The Candy Man can't generate cash? [NY Times]
• Blind item! "Which dreamy-eyed actor is embarrassed to admit he's hooking up with a hard-partying starlet?" [Gatecrasher]
• "They wouldn't have my character back on the show. My character was born out of the '90s. It's a different era now." — Andrew Shue won't be on the new Melrose Place. [Gatecrasher]
• "I think I'm either naive or insane to play her - maybe a little bit of both!" — Anne Hathaway on playing Judy Garland on Broadway. [Gatecrasher]
• "Kids are not to be used as weapons. Deadbeat moms that sleep all day, seeking money, attention like 2 do so. Just hurts the kids in the end. Giving birth 2 a child doesn't make u a good mom. Taking care of them, loving them, waking up with them, spending time with them does." — Travis Barker's been Twittering not-so-subtle hints about his feelings towards Shanna Moakler. [Perez]
• "She would have a plan on arrival anywhere and would be carving the best out of life and every situation and every person. She wasn't as much a passenger as I am, which made us great companions in life... because every driver needs a passenger and every passenger needs a driver. So it's a big loss in my life." — Uma Thurman on Natasha Richardson, to Harper's Bazaar UK. [Daily Express]
• "Everybody's making it like there's all this tension, you know, like I stepped away from the band and now they're jealous of me, and look, maybe there is a little bit of that. But some fights aren't really what they seem." — Gwen Stefani on reuniting with No Doubt. [Mirror]
• "It's one thing when you have an infant. But when you have this three-year-old going, 'Mommy, what's the deal?' it's harder. Kingston's whole thing is, 'I need, I need.' He is insane right now. We're just hoping for the best and that he's not going to turn out to be a freak, but we'll see." — Gwen Stefani, on being a working mom. [Mirror]
• "Gwyneth is one of the most intelligent people I know. So motivating her to do something is not the issue. Learning to dance and get that lung capacity and endurance was the hardest part for her. She (complained) about the cardio. To this day, if she at all has had filming days, she'll always do it, but it's like, 'Ugh, we have to do the cardio.'" — trainer Tracy Anderson. [USA Today]
• "I have always carried around in my mind, that he would ultimately be seen as a heroic figure. But I'm maybe kidding myself." — Michael Emerson, aka Ben Linus on Lost. [Mirror]
• "Yes, she's never played a mother and she's playing a mother of three in this movie but that didn't scare me. I knew she was up for it. I'm more proud of her performance in the film than I am proud of things in my life." — Nick Cassavetes on Cameron Diaz in My Sister's Keeper. [Daily Express]
• "Lately, I've been in meetings regarding a new script idea I have. A studio executive asked me to change the female lead to a male, because... 'women don't go to movies.' Really? When I pointed out the box office successes of Sex and The City, Mamma Mia, and Obsessed, he called them 'flukes.' He said 'don't quote me on this.' So, I'm telling everybody." — Nia Vardalos. [HuffPo]
• ''People see me and they're like, 'Oh, you're so much prettier in real life!' And I'm like, 'Well, thanks.' It's definitely narrowed the opportunities, which is a bummer because... I want a job! I didn't enter this biz because I thought I was a supermodel. I entered because I liked finding out what makes people laugh.'' — Rachel Dratch, who doesn't exactly deny the rumor that she was supposed to be on 30 Rock, but the network wanted ''hotter'' actress Jane Krakowski instead. [EW]
• It's hard to believe you're still on the D-list. "I have proof although I'm flattered at the suggestion that I could even be a C-minus. Recently, I was on tour and they delivered me a sandwich and it said Taffy Griffin. Now, I'd like to think that's maybe what they thought my stripper name was, but no. My name was on the marquee. Sold-out show. Taffy Griffin. I'm on the D-list where I belong… What is tough for me as a D-list celebrity is that kind of puts Speidi and me in the same category and that hurts. That's a bitter pill for me to swallow." — Kathy Griffin. [AP]
• "I don't have to defend myself. What can you do against something that is totally different from what you really think? It was hard to live with that, because I'm not the person described in that ridiculous story. I was not happy that this story could hurt people. But I felt sorry for those French journalists-that was the thing. I felt sorry for journalism, in general. We live in a world where there is so much information, but what I said was taken out of context. It's so common for someone who gives interviews to say that, but a cliché becomes a cliché because it's true. Some of it was funny: the part where I thought that man didn't walk on the moon? Man, please! It's so ridiculous… I talked about being fascinated by Internet conspiracies, because they are fascinating. And I asked a question like that: 'Did man walk on the moon?' Because the conspiracies are out there, not because it's a question I believed." — Marion Cotillard, on the statements she made about September 11. [BlackBook]

The Good: Does this couple ever just stay in and watch TV? They have become such red-carpet fixtures! That said, Claire just gets better and better: she's got her formula of demure, restrained elegance down to a T.


The Good: Blake Lively has a natural talent for looking fun and unfussy.


The Good: Is there a touch of the Dune about Helena Christensen's getup? Darn tootin'.


Misshape: Here's the thing about Leigh Lezark. Her clothes are actually totally uninspired. But the rub is, she does work 'em. And the lady looks good!


The Bad: There's plenty to like about Vanessa Fitzgerald's individual components. But in sum the disharmony of the aesthetic has Ruskin rolling in his grave. Yes, Ruskin reads Jezebel.


The Problematic: Julia Restoin-Roitfeld is obviously stunning, and has the world's closet at her command - but even she can't triumph over the inherent awkwardness of her wearable cootie-catcher.


What Say You? Molly Sims embraces her earthier side. Do you?


In principle, loving the idea of Rose McGowan going all Betty Catroux. But the proportions give me pause. What Say You?


The Ugly: Looking at Terence Koh, can you wonder that this category secretly means "the most triumphant?"

[Images via Getty]

Disclaimer: I'm writing this in the middle of the night, swigging straight buttermilk, and realize I've been droning the Affair to Remember theme under my breath for the past 45 minutes, so. Even more salt than usual, if you don't mind. Also: yes, Michelle Obama was there, and according to the unsatisfying lectern partials, looking very lovely indeed in what's rumored to be an Alaia dress and Thakoon jacket, but First Ladies have a pesky habit of not walking pap-swarmed red carpets! I don't know why either.


The Good:
What's the cultural, historiographic significance of the Recession/Barbie-gown confluence? Why can Iman wear this and look amazing? And why does she give such bizarre interviews, with such impunity?


Coco Rocha's saloon gal? Milkmaid? is crazy, kooky, over the top AND I LOVE IT!!! (I was being Mary Murphy.)


Rachel Roy enjoys the trousers. Wouldn't you feel a little bit like Oliver when he's working for the undertaker and the grand marshal or whatever of all those junior funerals, if everyone else was in these Barbie getups? But Rachel's making the party come to her.


Kelly Ripa: sure.


Let's get one thing straight, charmeuse frock: I like you but not in that way. You and your smug sueded surface that just purrs, 'I rubbed against Dancy in the Town Car and I'll DO IT AGAIN!'


Kim Raver takes one of the evening's few textile risks. Cue inevitable upholstery comparisons, but such is life. Can I get a "fiddle-dee-dee?"


Sessilee Lopez looks stunning, elegant, and manages to make the coexistence of those two adjectives totally sensical.


Ivanka Trump has probably been doing 'evening' from the cradle, and as they say, practice makes perfect. No Miss USA references, if you please. Not what I meant at all!


The Bad:
Are Lindsay Price and Coco Rocha wearing basically the same dress? So why am I arbitrarily putting one in the Bad? Does this have something to do with Lipstick Jungle? And let's say if justice is blind - is that a good thing when we're judging clothes?


On the one hand: Lynda Carter looks happy, beautiful, is Wonder Woman. On the other: print of dress reminiscent of those black and white pix of smooching kids, occasionally holding a single, Schindler's List-style pink rose.


Have never yet managed to work in the lyrics to "Just Walk Away, Renee" while discussing Zellweger. Maybe she, um, should have, um, done that when they accidentally brought her Nancy Reagan's wardrobe? Even though it was a really pretty color? We try.


So on his Twitter, Karl Lagerfeld said something to the effect of, expensive clothes should never look expensive. So guessing he'll be digging on Hilary Rhoda! Then he said, "My dream? Transparent fur." [Note: I know you all love this. And does my intense aversion have something to do with a certain Cache frock, purchased by mom at The Westchester, that a certain ed wore to a certain disastrous junior prom? Some would say yes.]


We get it: when some hear 'gala' they hightail it over to 'stiff and uncomfy' land. (This is known to some of us as Loehmann's Back Room.) But why would Mariska Hargitay, the daughter after all of Jayne Mansfield, want to go to there?


And speaking of Mansfield-era glam, Eva La Rue is kind of channeling that late lamented lady's Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter look, where she basically wears a hyper-Marilyn professionally sexy cocktail costume the entire time. Also: remember when moms were very into cut-velvet scarves? That was nice.


The texture of Amy Fine Collins' gown reminds me of a 'haunted house' song by The Knife. Specifically, "Silent Shout." Intricate, playing within an established framework, and kind of creepy.


It's almost like Ashley McDermott got a totally different dress code on her invite. Hers said "Prejean" and nothing else, which I admit is cryptic.


The Wintour:
Say what one will about the 'Nuke, but she's managed to establish a distinctive iconography that, Vreeland-style, somehow transcends any definition but "Anna Wintour." (The ram's horn Chanel was apparently an aberration. Back to the uniform.)


What Say You?
Veronica Webb's June bride special is the very definition of 'What Say You!' Well?


Whatever we think of Suzanne Vega's stripes (save that she needs to be proceeded by a herald with some kind of warning to epileptics) this picture is very awesome. And what do we think? Or, you know, you?

[Images via Getty]

[New York, May 12. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The Good:
Kate Hudson probably didn't realize she was totally flouting the dress code with this snappy Betty Catroux suit.


On the one hand, Diane Sawyer's look is totally early-'90s. On the other, it suits her.


M.I.A. and Ben Brewer are obviously among the coolest couples in the world. And his chucks and suit remind me of my high school boyfriend.


This is clearly the conservative iteration of the lace suit Stella rocked last night, and this one I love. Not least because it alleviates the evening's monotony!


Sorry, gang, but Cindy McCain-esque 'do and 'up aside, this 30's-style ensemble is pretty and elegant.


The Bad - Okay, "Bad" is Too Harsh:
No one expects sartorial fireworks from Baba, but dowdy and busy? She can do so much better.


And Arianna Huffington! Why is she so committed to the D.C.-Jessica McClintock thing? I'd love to see her have a little fun, take a page from Michelle and try a little Thankoon or Toledo.


Black Magic:
Michelle Obama's 20's-inflected beads are an artsy, elegant touch - a far cry from the staid pearls one might expect. (Not shockingly, the First Lady didn't walk the red carpet.)


Georgina Chapman's layered, flirty iteration is predictably lovely; Marchesa's as feminine as it gets.


I'm beginning to believe Claire Danes can do no wrong. Again, it's somewhat dispiriting that a shoulder detail qualifies as a major fashion risk! Still, it's a conservative event.


Even in a sea of black, Leslie Mann's Miriam Hopkins-perfect velvet stands out.


Per usual, Suze Orman does LBD-as-suit. YSL would be proud.


Sherri Shepherd demonstrates the relaxed take.


Amy Poehler's curve-hugger shows what good lines can do on even the simplest frock.


Anjelica Huston worked basic black in the 70s, as an Addams, and has never lost the knack for utter chic.


Patricia Clarkson's 7 Year Itch is, somewhat tragically, one of the most daring shapes on the red carpet - and one of the prettiest.


Of course, the (long) BD is Coulter's uniform. No witch jokes, please!


What Say You?
Okay, I really feel for Andrea Mitchell these days; it can't be easy. But: what do we think of her textured chocolate, unexceptional or ugly?


When it comes to Liv Tyler's lace: fun or fungal?

[Images via Getty]

[New York, May 5. Image via Getty]

• Lindsay Lohan went to Samantha Ronson's house yesterday afternoon and left later in the evening. [Perez Hilton]
• As for Samantha Ronson, she was seen leaving Lindsay's house at 6 am this morning. There's more ...

• Here's some telling Facebook evidence. Last week Sam deleted her "In a relationship" status, but now her profile says, "It's complicated." Indeed. [E!]
• Oprah Winfrey is threatening to sue Mutual of Omaha because the company was about to roll out an advertising campaign with the slogan, "Official sponsor of the aha moment." Oprah says she owns the rights to the "aha moment." [TMZ]
• Friends say Kevin Federline has put on more than 40 pounds since last year and now NutriSystem has offered him an opportunity to be a spokesman for their diet program. [Perez Hilton]
• Everyone knows Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt hate publicity. That's why they sent out a flyer to residents of the Pasadena neighborhood surrounding the church where they are getting married this weekend, asking them to sign a pettion allowing them to shut down streets for "an untitled reality TV project" (a.k.a. wedding) to keep the paprazzi at bay. [TMZ]
• TMZ has a copy of a tax lien against Snoop Dogg that shows he owes the state of California $284,053.59. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's driver turned himself in yesterday, saying that he had no idea he had broken the mirror off an ambulance outside Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. No charges have been filed. [Radar]
• Debbie Nelson, Eminim's mom, says her dying wish is to reconcile with Em and his daughter Hayley. According to Eminem's grandmother, Debbie, "needs heart bypass surgery and she should weigh about 120 pounds, but she's some 50 pounds below that." Also, "she has no will to live." [Perez Hilton]
• Miley Cyrus says she has a crush on George Clooney, but Justin Gaston and Nick Jonas don't need to worry. "I refuse to date actors as a rule," she said. "They're too good at lying – it's their job." [The Telegraph]
• Guests at Salma Hayek's wedding rehearsal dinner on Friday night included Charlize Theron, Stuart Townsend, and former French president Jaques Chirac. Guests expected at the wedding are Edward Norton, Woody Harrelson, Penelope Cruz, Ashley Judd, and Lucy Liu. [People]
• Rihanna is back in the studio, and according to a producer she's writing about "different situations in her life, just things that inspire her." Producer Brian Kennedy Seals says, "She's ready, ready to make hits." [People]
• Eric Bana plays the bad guy Nero in the new Star Trek movie. He says of the hours he spent in the makeup chair to look like a Romulan, "It was so much fun. There you are in the make-up chair, freaking out. By the end of the first week it's very normal, and when the other Romulans took their make-up off, I didn't know how to take them." [Telegraph]
• Idris Elba, who plays Beyonce's husband in Obsessed says, "I'm watching Beyonce and Ali [Larter] go at it, being catty to each other, (and then someone would say) 'Idris, it's your line.' 'Oh, my God, yeah, sorry. Now where am I?'" [The Daily Express]
• Beyonce says she's lost weight recently because she's preparing for her tour. "I lost a lot of weight naturally, just from 12-hour rehearsals," she said. "That's a lot of dancing. I would never work out for 12 hours, but I'm able to move around and not think about it. It's part of my job." [People]
• Bruce Springsteen's wife, Patti Scialfa will miss several upcoming concerts because she's recovering from falling off a horse on Wednesday night. She is bruised and in pain, but has no broken bones. [People]
• Claire Danes bridesmaid in her marriage to Hugh Dancy says she's not a bridezilla. "She's so calm and excited about it," says Mamie Gummer. "She is going to be the most beautiful bride." She says she watched Danes and Dancy fall in love over games of Boggle and Scrabble. [People]
• A judge has allowed a civil case filed against Sharon Stone and two film companies in November to be made public after media outlets questioned why it was closed in the first place. The case was eventually settled. [AP]
• You can check out Prince's new cover of "Crimson and Clover" here: [NY Magazine]
• Fleetwood Mac has cancelled a concert in North Carolina this weekend due to scheduling conflicts. [The Daily Express]
• John Malkovich has turned down an offer to star in a Broadway production of The Good Canary because he wants to spend more time with his family. Malkovich, who lives in Massachusetts, says: "I have kids at home who don't want to leave their friends and move, except they will when I'm in Vienna this summer doing The Infernal Comedy. They'll come because they love the sausage. I live a quiet life in a very relaxed place. We don't go out much. One son's in Cambridge, my 16-year-old's a junior in high school. I'm involved with their schooling. This is probably my son's last year at home." [The Daily Express]
• In this video blog Annie Lennox sings and wears Mickey Mouse ears to promote a charity concert in Hong Kong. [Video Gum]
• British music millionaires, including Sir Paul McCartney, Sir Elton John, Mick Jagger, and Amy Winehouse saw their fortunes decrease in the bad economy this year, yet Simon Cowell got 7% richer. [People]
• Cyndi Lauper and her husband David Thornton are starring in their first movie together since meeting on a movie set 20 years ago. The film is called Here and There and will be shown at the Tribeca Film Festival. [Yahoo]
• Mary-Kate Olsen is super excited about being a juror at the Tribeca Film Festival. "I wish there was a class. It is a huge honor to be a part of it and I was asked to be a part of it, she says. "I just got my pamphlet this morning. I have already watched all of the shorts. This is fun." [AP]
• Hilary Duff says of her pro hockey player boyfriend Mike Comrie, "You know what? We're very compatible, luckily, and it never seems like a big pressure of, like, what I have to do to make him happy, or vice versa. You know, it's just kind of natural for us, which is great, and I think that we both have busy jobs and we're both very public people, and that helps, too, you know, since we are apart so much. It's not like one person is sitting at home waiting for the other. And we're both just really supportive of each other." [The Observer]
• Miss USA judge Alicia Jacobs removed a blog post criticizing Carrie Prejean after she started getting death threats. Jacobs said, "I am going to be honest with you. I am an entertainment reporter, and I am not an investigative reporter and I am not used to being in that environment. Some reporters probably get death threats every day. For me, it scared me. I discussed it with my station and they have been beyond supportive and I am very grateful for that. We decided at least for the time being I would take it down. There is something else is up there now which I wrote last night, and that is how I am going to keep it for now. And, believe it or not, I am still getting negative responses and I am shocked. Where are these people coming from?" [L.A. Times]

[New York, March 31. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, March 17. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The Good:
Hey, when she's good, she's very, very good.


Helena Christensen looks gorgeously dramatic; we're sure Valentino approves.


If Agyness did "20's Bohemian" all the time, we'd be on board.


Olivia Chantecaille avoided a St. Patty's Day pinch, looks gorgeous. Everyone else was pinched black and blue.


Yes. Padma Lakshmi wears a smock and sandals and still looks like Helen of Troy.


Am kicking myself for not going to the theatre, sneaking out with Hana Soukupova's gown while she was watching the movie.


Anne Hathaway's looking really chic and comfy these days; will an Oscar nod do that?


For some reason, Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy as couple always give me a happy feeling. Not least cause they always look ravishing.


The Bad:
I'm just imagining Lake Bell going through her closet and thinking "yes! it's a futuristic figure skater kind of evening!"


See, I could actually totally get behind the harem pants if Rachel Roy hadn't taken us back to '85 with the power jacket. I know that's the point, but...bad associations.


Hm, is the chain part of Maria Menounos' dress, or just an unfortunate accessory choice? Either way...


Martha is in on a hose violation.


When I saw this one, I actually sang to myself, "Someone's going in Ba-ad/And it's whoever you are!" (It's Nicole Trunfio.)


The Ugly:
As in the grand tradition of "Ugly," Daphne Guinness's exercise in outrageousness is, in its way, a triumph. In a terrifying, 80s Intellectual Fash sort of way. The dame's not a Mitford for nothing!


Selita Ebanks: the woman's got chutzpah. No mirror and an angry cat, perhaps, but chutzpah.

[Images via Getty]