[Malibu, September 14. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• On Saturday night, John Galliano, the keynote speaker at Savannah College of Art and Design, called in sick, disappointing the hundreds of students who were probably already sort of disappointed by having to go to fashion school in Georgia for 4 years.
  [WWD, 2nd article]

• Heart bags, hot pants, and high heels with guns highlighted the Karl Lagerfeld cruise collection at The Raleigh Hotel in Miami Beach. More Scarface than Golden Girls.[WWD, 1st item]

• Jerry Hall is set to auction off the wedding dress she wore when she married Mick Jagger. Who will be the lucky (?) bidder? [UPI]
• This just in: Agyness Deyn doesn't drink during working hours, flies first class, gets knackered after a photo shoot! Now I've heard everything. [The Independent]
• Watch every woman in New York City go wild as Bloomingdale's hosts a Sex And The City lingerie party. It's a seven-day marathon with a sweepstakes prize that includes free tickets to the premiere, fingernail scratches all over your face, and your hair extensions being ripped from your skull. Good times! [WWD]

• Spending money on fake handbags is cheap, both financially and morally. Don’t support child labor and tacky fashion statements! [Reuters]

• Gisele Bundchen is getting sued. A carpenter fell in her apartment. It's not as exciting as it sounds. [United Press International]
• Australian magazine Russh: Celebrating the human form or shilling kiddie porn? [news.com.au]
• "Matthew didn't want to be bare-chested on billboards in America," says a spokesperson for Matthew McConaughey, new face of Dolce & Gabbana. Ha ha ha, really? [Daily Mail]
• Marshall’s ups the ante on its shoe department. Um, yes please! Cheap shoes never hurt anyone's feelings. [LA Times]
• Bob Mackie enables Cher to go through 17 costume changes in Vegas. Delicious! Call me a queen, but Cher without Bob Mackie is like Paris Hilton without a bedazzled dog in her arms. [LA Times]
• Is the baby doll dress the new burka? H&M opens a female-only store in Saudi Arabia. This is a good thing, right? [Vogue UK]
• Levi’s viral video blows up unexpectedly and everyone gets really excited about it. [Brandweek]
• "One of the absurdities of modern politics is this obsession with looks or second-guessing how you should look." — Nicole Farhi speaks about being a rebel girl. [Times of London]
• With the return of Indiana Jones, safari clothes get ready to become cool again. And expensive. And also, redundant. Didn't this trend happen already? [Financial Times]
• Women are so smart. Anja Mullins designs clothing for those who've had a mastectomy. Watch major designers take her lead and pretty soon, getting a mastectomy will be, the coolest thing ever. [Inventor Spot]
• Leona Hemsley's designer clothing was auctioned off on Sunday. Highest bid only went for $12,000. Poor thing. [Reuters]
• Agyness Deyn, once Burberry's darling, gets dropped from the label because, well, they're sick of her face. [Metro]
• "I reckon it's because she knows that when she smiles, she looks like a chipmunk. Anyway, grinning isn't glamorous." — author Germaine Greer on Posh Spice, and her admirable ability to look good. [The Gaurdian]
• Liz Jones talks to Sex In The City stylist, Patricia Field, who has an uncanny knack for making Sarah Jessica Parker look like a drag queen and convincing the world that it works. [Daily Mail]
• Bluefly loves the Hot Tranny Mess that is Christain Siriano. The Project Runway winner is working on a new collection, which makes us wonder if Bluefly will ever NOT be associated with the TV show. That would be a no. [Sassybella]
• Cindy Crawford, at the persuasion of some children, decided to go green. Phew! [Reuters]

• After much consideration I have decided that I do not care at all what the personal footwear choices of the Sex and the City stars say about their personalities. [LA Times]
  
• Speaking of Sex and the City, Sarah Jessica Parker says that her son only wears his older cousin's hand-me-downs and has never been given new clothes, other than shoes. [US Weekly]
  
• Another day, more people fired from ELLE. This time, on the dot-com side. Maybe Nina will give them jobs over at Marie Claire? [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Rachel Zoe does not want to talk about being disinvited from the Met Costume Institute Gala thankyouverymuch. [US Weekly]
  
• In case you were wondering, Cindy Crawford will be celebrating Mother's Day with breakfast in bed. [Reuters]

• Christy Turlington, however, thinks that Mother's Day should be about activism and used as a platform for taking action against the AIDS crisis. [HuffPo]
• Hilary Duff just loves being old: "I am so excited that I'm finally at an age where they want me on the cover!" says Duff regarding her turn in Allure. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Lancome and Uma Thurman: Suing one another. Good times in the cosmetics industry. [AP]
• Chanel is opening an "ephemeral" boutique on London's Dover Street. Says Krazy Karl Lagerfeld, "The tone is at the same time post-modern and romantic. It integrates a delicate punk sophistication." [Vogue UK]
• Rachel Zoe loves expensive shit. [NYDailyNews]
• I don't care that she landed Johnny Depp, I still love Vanessa Paradis. [Sassybella]
• Camper shoes; Now for the ladies. [Times of London]
• Ginger Spice: Wears clothes from Topshop. [The Sun UK]

• "It's out of control. There's always a different boy and everyone is worried he's going to pull a Halston." That's an anonymous friend of Marc Jacobs on the increasingly-erratic fashion designer. [Page Six]
  
• Ouch: David Lauren was not invited to his girlfriend (of three years) Lauren Bush's cousin Jenna's wedding. You know, Jenna Bush: Daughter of the POTUS. Apparently the Bush clan think David is too old for Lauren. Oh, and also too Jewish? Awkward. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Kristin Davis is pissed about the injustices she faced making the Sex and the City movie: "It's in the contract that we get to keep our outfits, which is a fantastic thing, except that, for me, all of my outfits were samples. I kept my running pants, which I love and wear them a lot, but I was like, Where are my clothes?" [E!]

• Blondes need not apply to model for the lookbook for Lindsay Lohan's new leggings line. [Perez Hilton]
• God is dead: Perez Hilton is getting his own clothing line. For Hot Topic. [Celebitchy]
• The New York Giants' Super Bowl Championship ring was designed by their defensive end Michael Strahan, who told jewelers at Tiffany's he wanted a "Ten-table ring": "When I walk into a restaurant, I want you to be able to see it from 10 tables away." Um, thanks but no. [WWD, 1st item]
• And what does Giorgio Armani think about paying the most in taxes in all of Italy? "I was on a beach when I heard that. I'm not concerned with it." [NYDaily News]
• Cindy Crawford: Regrets, she has some: ""I regret that I wasn't wilder," she says. "I was working and I was nervous. I was the one in the corner with the book, being responsible. I can be wild now. I'll sometimes dance on a table for my husband and his friends. But not naked - those days are gone." [Vogue UK]
• China's latest offense: The exportation of fake Nikes. [LATimes]
• Harper's Bazaar editor-in-chief Glenda Bailey says that her permanent plus one Steven Sumner says she was only awarded with an Officer of the British Empire award because, "I shop for Britain. He thinks OBE stands for 'Owns Bloody Everything.'" [WWD, 4th item]
• It's so hard to be Diane Kruger. Of the goings-on after the Met Costume Institute Gala, she says, "I went to that party at Phillipe, which was way too overcrowded, so I headed down to Bungalow, where I danced with Christian Louboutin. That was fun!" [Fashion Week Daily]
• Eva Mendes: Pics of her topless in Italian Vogue here. [Egotastic]
• Donatella Versace is still trying to tell anyone who will listen that her girl Hillary Clinton should wear a dress. [Page Six]
• Karl Lagerfeld's handbag and luggage line is inspired by...Karl Lagerfeld. [Vogue UK]
• Fergie's daughter Princess Beatrice is working at Selfridge's department store during her gap year between high school and uni. How pleb of her. [Telegraph]
• Hermes: Sales up 13.4%. Good for them? [WWD, sub req'd]

[New York, May 7. Image via INFDaily.com.]

The Good:
Becki Newton is wearing a beautiful dress in one of my favorite colors, bright yellow. So why the scowl?

Ah, if only Candis Cayne and Billy Baldwin were an actual couple. How glam they look a deux. [It's soooo hard to believe Candis was born a man! — Dodai]

Memo to Cindy Crawford: Always wear red. And accessorize with Rande Gerber.

Ellen DeGeneres: The Charlie Chaplin of our age?

Portia DeRossi borrows a page from Ellen's handbook and rocks the white pants.

Oh, Jackie Warner. Why must you always look so fierce? (And be such a bitch on Work Out?)

It's going to be hard for Jennifer Beals to do the bit with the chair in a ladylike evening gown like this.

Kathy Griffin looks good. She's also looking less and less like Kathy Griffin.

Dear Rufus Wainwright and Jorn Westfeldt: Please give me the clothes off your back. And sing Judy Garland songs for me.

Yeah, Sofia Veragara is going to need to strip down and give me her dress too. It's so effortless but luxe.

Catch your balance, Sally Field — you look lovely!

The Bad:
Miss Jackson If You're Nasty: Is that a jumpsuit I spy?

Jay Manuel, conquistador.

I'm sorry: Rami Kashou should have worn something draped.

The Ugly:

Love the dress, but loathe the shoes, Sarah Silverman.

So many bad ideas in one little outfit on one little Sharon Lawrence. Sigh.

[Images via Getty.]

[Malibu, April 21. Image via x17]

The Good: Renee Zellweger's face scares me. But her dress sure is pretty. Nom nom George Clooney. No comment, Sarah Larson. Dear Mr. and Mrs. Clooney: You done good. You know how I don't like jeans on the red carpet? One exception: The pregnant. It's Rick Schroder. And Rick Schroder's son, who looks just like... Rick Schroder. Gorgeous Goran Visnjic and wife!

The Bad: Cindy Crawford looks fierce and all, but her dress seems a little dated, no? Why does Jenna Fischer look so uncomfortable? Adrienne Frantz looks like she's ready to baby-sit. Oh, Nancy O'Dell: Let's not forget that you picked Project Runway's Wendy Pepper Season 1 to design your 2005 Grammy Awards dress.

The Ugly: Who is this man with Fran Drescher? And why did no one pull him out of the tanning booth sooner?

[Los Angeles, March 31. Images via Bauer-Griffin]

The Good:
Cindy, Rande, Presley and Kaia: Disgustingly perfect (looking) family.
When is Elisabeth Rohm going to pop that baby out already?
Aw, John and Joyce Varvatos don't look like a fashion designer and his wife, they look like they could belong to my shul.

The Bad:
Angie Harmon is lost in this nude column of a shift.
You know how Cindy Crawford looks dressed up even though she's in jeans? Melina Kanakaredes doesn't.
Welcome, Julie Moran, to my shit list: Do not dress your daughters in matching outfits.
Danielle Panabaker: 21 going on 41 in a "casual separates" combo like this.
Dear Heather Thomas: You scare me.

The Ugly:
Joely Fisher ought be charged with crimes against womanity for this outfit.
Phoebe Price came dressed as an extra from Plan 9 From Outer Space.

[Images via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Victoria Beckham has been approached by Fox to host her own fashion reality TV show. Posh would travel around America — some small, "backwater" towns — finding style-challenged people, and giving them fashion make-overs. Geek to chic! [Marie Claire]
  
• Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon went to a play in New York on Sunday, but spent the whole time texting. Rude! [Page Six]
  
• Though he's been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Patrick Swayze's doctor says he "has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far." [People]
  
• Demi Moore is on the cover of Bazaar and talks about her relationship with Ashton Kutcher inside: "People made such a fuss about it. You would have thought the world had never seen it before. Age wasn't what I was thinking about, but to the rest of the world it was a very big deal." [Perez Hilton]
  
• Demi's family portrait is hot. [People]

• Cosby Show alum Raven Symoné, 22: "I want to have a record label and a licensing company. I want to have a publishing company and a management company where I can launch all kinds of artists. I want to do everything. I want to be Disney." Get it girl! [LA Times]
• Terri Irwin faces a court battle over a million dollar debt at her late husband's Australia Zoo. A debt collector is suing the zoo and Terri in a case that involves an offshore bank with ties to a corrupt tax official. Messy stuff. [Times]
• Bai Ling pleaded guilty to disturbing the peace in her case regarding the theft of Star magazines and batteries. She was ordered to pay a fine of $700, and you can now go back to not thinking about her, if you want. [People ]
• Jamie Lynn Spears will be a guest star on an ABC comedy called Miss Guided, premiering March 20. Judy Greer stars in the sit com and JLS (who wasn't knocked up when she shot the show) plays a troubled student; Ashton Kutcher also guest stars. They really really really want people to watch. [People]
• Scott Weiland pleaded innocent to his DUI charge. He's free on bail and goes to court April 4. [Reuters]
• Jack Osbourne: Sings like his dad. At least when doing karaoke. [Page Six]
• Josh Kelly on those pix of he and Katherine Heigl and the moving truck: "Katherine and I are moving boxes and furniture into our new house in LA and this gang of photographers were there snapping away at us. So I say to them, 'You guys are just going to sit there taking pictures, making money while we bust our asses?'" That's when the paparazzi started lifting boxes. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick would not have a kid if it weren't for herbal supplement Airborne, cough cough. [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven continues to hit on women everywhere, yawn. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which hit show that has everyone guessing about its closeted male star also has a female co-star who plays for the home team?" [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which floundering pop star is hoping a unisex clothing line will rehab her nonexistent singing career?" [Rush & Molloy]
• The court has extended Jamie Spears' conservatorship of Britney to July 31; though it could end earlier if Brit's mental state keeps improving and stabilizes. It seems like she's in a good place, here's to hoping she keeps it up! [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Sam Lutfi allegedly says, "I am going to call Britney to the stand so she can tell the world how I was helping her. I am innocent. I am Britney's friend and would never hurt her." Sure, sure. [MSNBC]
• Showgirls star Elizabeth Berkley will host Bravo's new show, Step It Up & Dance. But will she keep her clothes on? [TMZ]
• That boy from American Idol with the pretty pretty lips went to a school for "at-risk" kids and had "issues" or something. Wow, his lips are so pretty. [TMZ]
• Valerie Bertinelli on Eddie Van Halen's undisclosed health crisis: "I really don't think it's anybody's business." [People]
• Producer Linda Perry is suing over royalties she's owed from James Blunt's album. [Reuters]
• The True Colors Tour is coming! Cyndi Lauper, the B-52s and, um, Carson Kressley. [USA Today]
• Lily Allen won't play the Isle of Wight Festival in the UK because her new album is behind schedule. But leave her alone, she's been through a lot. [Perez Hilton]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt attended the memorial service of Heidi's stepbrother yesterday; he died after slipping off of a roof and was a veteran of combat missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. [People]
• Dancing With The Stars' Julianne Hough, 19, will be a virgin until she gets married. She also does not drink, smoke or do drugs. Goody two-shoes. What do you do? [People]
• Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York, is a "fat-fighting guru" for a new TV show in the UK. She will help mere, common people with their weight issues. [BBC News]
• Jerry O'Connell will take part in a race across the Scottish Highlands. Kayaking, rappelling and that kind of stuff is involved, yet the race is sponsored by a liquor. Interesting. [UPI]
• Bruce Willis is a stoner. [Perez Hilton]
• Producers from The View are not wooing Cindy Crawford, which is too bad. [MSNBC]
• MTV won't air the new Gnarls Barkley video featuring Justin Timberlake because it could trigger an epileptic seizure. View at your own risk! [MSNBC]
• Danny Bonaduce will host a child star reality show, on VH1, which sounds healthy. Not. [UPI]
• Death threats against Daniel Radcliffe? How could anyone hate Harry Potter? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• You know John Waters' Cry-Baby is coming to Broadway, right? (I am so there.) [Page Six]

• Nicole Richie's People magazine cover is outselling Christina Aguilera's. What's up with that? [MSNBC]
  
• Winona Ryder: Not engaged. Well crap. Is that guy going to feel pressured to pop the question now? [Us]
  
• Also not engaged: Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson. [People]
  
• Video: Pete Doherty, smoking crack-like substance. Out of a pipe shaped like a chicken. This is not a joke. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Tom Cruise: Seen washing his hands for 5 minutes, "as thoroughly as a surgeon preparing for surgery" after using the restroom. Here's to LHR! [Times Of India]
  
• That "guru" Paris Hilton was hanging out with? He's a Hollywood actor who has been in flicks like Pirates Of The Caribbean. That's doesn't explain why she's spending time with him, but whatevs. [TMZ]
  
• Bjork made Chinese fans "uncomfortable" by shouting "Tibet! Tibet!" at a show in Shanghai. [CNN]

• Jennifer Lopez's twins have 600-thread count Egyptian cotton linens, classical music piped in, and professional baby masseuse who come once or twice a week. Yawn. [Mirror]
• Carey Hart says that Pink is "the love of my life." Although they are separated, "We talk all the time." [People]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's unreleased movie, Spinning Into Butter, might just suck: It's lacking a distributor and she says, "One enters these endeavors with the best of intentions, but sometimes they don't work out." [Page Six]
• Justin Long says girlfriend Drew Barrymore "smells good." Also: "She's beautiful and funny. The most compassionate person I've ever met." [People]
• "Part of the bar mitzvah is that you become a man supposedly at 13 years old. And as I was a man, I decided never to go to a synagogue again" — Jack Black. [Page Six]
• Village Voice columnist Michael Musto will appear on the cover of the paper spoofing the Lindsay Lohan nude photo shoot. Musto says: "Lindsay did 250 crunches the night before her shooting. Well, I did 250 Nestle's Crunches." [Page Six]
• Thursday night, Barack Obama will attend the opening of the all-black revival of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof on Broadway. He'll have mad Secret Service, of course. [Gatecrasher]
• Cashmere Mafia: On the verge of dunzo? [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which singer turned Broadway star is miserable along the Great White Way? Although he privately gripes that he hates the show he's in, he has to ride out his contract." [Gatecrasher]
• James Blunt showed video footage of bombed homes, dead bodies and graves during a his concert on Friday. "The film was my footage," the former armed NATO peacekeeper explains. [Rush & Molloy]
• Lauren Conrad moved into her new house (with Audrina and Lo) and got a new puppy! [People]
• Actress Jeri Ryan has a new baby girl, Gisele Eme. Welcome! [People]
• Bai Ling was formally charged with petty theft from that incident last month in which she stole two Star magazines and some batteries and then blamed a bad break up. The value of the items? $16.22. [People]
• John Ritter's widow testified yesterday, detailing the events surrounding her husband's death. [USA Today]
• Rumor has it that Mischa Barton turned down a role on Gossip Girl to make it seem like she is too famous for that; her rep says the info was not leaked for publicity. Ugh, so glad she won't be hanging with Serena and Blair. [Perez Hilton]
• Eddie Van Halen is undergoing medical tests, causing the band the reschedule its upcoming concerts. Eddie has fought cancer and alcoholism in the past, this issue has yet to be disclosed. [Reuters]
• Disney Channel star Miley Cyrus will perform at rival network Nickelodeon's Kids Choice Awards??? It's like a tear in the space-time continuum. [Reuters]
• There's a rift between Steve Irwin's widow and his father, if you give a crap about that kind of stuff. [Independent]
• British "glamour model" Jordan, aka Katie Price, is purchasing a plane, which she plans to paint pink and pilot herself. Awesome? Or crazy? Or crazy awesome? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Is Cindy Crawford coming to Good Morning America or The View? [Variety]
• Madonna may be turning 50, but there's no stopping her: "I'm sure I wasn't put on this earth just to make records. There are a lot of things I want to achieve. I'd like to be a better human being. I'd like to be a better parent. I still have my children to raise. That's a big responsibility, I'm not done with that. I would like to direct more films and write them. I've only done one. To me that's the beginning of that career and I want to make more records. I love music." Go ahead, girl! [Mirror]

P.S. Isn't Cindy Crawford just about the worst when it comes to reading lines? She totally would've failed at the correspondent challenge on Top Model.

[Malibu, January 27. Image via Flynet]

x17]

The Good:

Cindy Crawford still looks good. Does this woman ever age? Her tailored suit looks straight out of the costume racks of The L Word, which is a major compliment in my book.



Sure, Amber Tamblyn looks like just about any 20-something woman in the world. Which is why I love this: Amongst her trashtastic peers, Tamblyn keeps it real. Also, check how her boots are a little scuffy! Aw, authenticity!

It is not easy to wear shiny materials. It is not easy to wear anything while pregnant. Mazel tov to Brooke Burke for making it work.

Words I never thought I'd say: Debbie Gibson looks good.


The Bad:

I hate saying mean things about Carrie-Ann Moss because, of well, The Matrix! But Lord: What is she wearing? And more importantly: Why?

Marissa Jaret Winokur: See above for "It is not easy to wear shiny materials." Also, best not to walk a red carpet in stripper boots.

Did Holly Robinson Peete even know she was going to an opening? Or was she out buying groceries and made a wrong turn by mistake?


The Ugly:

Josie Maran is wearing a jumpsuit. It appears to have sparkles. That is all.

Kathy Najimy is one of the funniest women I can think of. So why are her clothes trying to kill her?

[All images via INF]

[Los Angeles, October 28. Image via FlyNet.]

[New York, October 9. Image via Splash]

[October 8, Los Angeles, Image via Splash]

[Malibu, September 11. Image via x17]

[Ramatuelle, France; August 1. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• What exactly are the people over at Style.com smoking? The new online accessories report looks totally trippy, and some of Candy Pratts Price's selections (like the Christian Lacroix & Givenchy boots and Manolo Blahnik heels) can only be explained by years of acid use [Style.com]

• Retail experts say that Austin, Texas "is maturing" well on its way to becoming yet another boring outpost for the rich and materialistic: Retailers like Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Juicy Couture and Lilly Pulitzer are descending upon the Lone Star city. [WWD]

• Jay-Z's sale of Rocawear to Iconix for $204 million is finalized. [WWD]

• Cindy Crawford goes back to modeling clothes. The Malibu-resident will be the face of New York & Company this summer. [WWD]

• A mactress named Alice Taglioni is Karl Lagerfeld's new darling. [PageSix]