Oh, GUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH. Chuck Lorre has announced that Two and a Half Men's heterosexual main characters, played by Ashton Kutcher and John Cryer, will wed each other in a "hilarious" sham marriage so that Kutcher's stupid character can finally adopt the baby he's always wanted.
In today's Tweet Beat, Roseanne Barr continues her hate of Chuck Lorre and spreads it over to Ashton Kutcher, Chelsea Clinton uses some great, child-appropriate hashtags and Alan Cumming is still so cool.
Um, Anna Faris sounds like a lot of fun to split a bottle of wine with.
It's funny, you almost forget that Ashton Kutcher — Mr. Demi Moore, professional Twitter enthusiast and camera commercial attention-hog — is also an actor. But he is! He fauxbanged Natalie Portman in that friends with benefits movie that was not called Friends With Benefits! He was on that bell-bottoms show! Which…
Gwynnie says she's recently discovered that her great-great-great-grandfather was a "miracle worker" and "Kabbalah master," who also saved his shtetl from a fire. Then he guest-starred on Glee and released a cookbook. [Contact Music]
After CBS announced that production on Two and a Half Men has been halted due to Sheen's "statements, conduct and condition," the actor sent a series of text messages to Good Morning America today saying that he is 100% clean and that he plans on showing up to work anyway. Because nothing says sobriety like announcing…