[Melbourne, December 22. Image via Getty.]

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - DECEMBER 22: A young girl stops to admire Christmas festive lights displayed on a house at The Boulevard Christmas Lights Display on December 22, 2009 in Ivanhoe on the outskirts of Melbourne, Australia. Residents cover their homes and gardens with lights and Christmas decorations every year, attracting upto 20,000 people every night and bringing local traffic to a standstill. (Photo by Scott Barbour/Getty Images)

[Loire Valley, December 21. Image via Getty.]

A picture taken on December 21, 2009 shows the chateau of Chambord on the Loire Valley decked in Christmas lights. AFP PHOTO/ALAIN JOCARD (Photo credit should read ALAIN JOCARD/AFP/Getty Images)

…Most of the shoppers looking for Tiana dolls are African-American mothers, but Disney reports brisk sales of Tiana nationwide and not just at urban retail stores. But for the moms and aunts and grandmothers we met at this Target, we heard the same thing as Gwen Arnold told us: Tiana isn't just a doll; she's a symbol.

One baby-boomer aged woman looking for a The Princess And The Frog doll notes that when she was growing up, "[There] was just one type of doll, just the white dolls. That was it. So there wasn't any choice when I was growing up at all."

Another mom tells Raz:

I think the times have changed a lot. And for especially the younger girls, at 9 years old, you have your first African-American president, that's probably going to be all that they ever remember, not the things that I remember from growing up. And then to see their first African-American princess, that's wonderful for them.

Some years, the hot Christmas present comes with a lot of buzz: Cabbage Patch Kids, Tickle Me Elmo, Beanie Babies. But none of those toys carry the historical weight Tiana carries with her, being Disney's first black princess. Whether the significance is apparent to kids — or is just something moms are aware of — is debatable. But you get the feeling that unlike toys which get forgotten or tossed, the Tiana doll will be a gift to remember.

The Symbolism Of Disney's Princess Tiana [NPR]

[Image via Toys 'R Us]

You may not know this, but Santa Claus is quite the procrastinator. Sometimes, he waits until four or five days before Christmas to gather up naughty and nice information. It takes him from the highest mountains to the bottom of the sea, but eventually he gets it done. However, there are several stops along the way.


First, he checks the trains to ensure that they'll deliver all the toys on time. The Polar Express doesn't just run on magic and delicious hot chocolate, you know!


Next, he has to pick up the dry cleaning, as he can't been seen on Christmas Eve in anything but his best suit, freshly pressed.


Of course, he also needs to fuel up. It's a recession, man. Even Santa can't pass up a 5 dollar footlong sandwich.


And I suppose we can't blame the man for wanting to check out a few toys for himself, for a change.


Santa is also incredibly popular in the sea, and visits the sea animals a few days before Christmas to deliver their gifts.


The fish are pretty excited, as you can see.


He even gives gifts to the sharks!


And Baby Beluga has clearly made the "nice" list this year.


Penguins are also big Santa fans.


Most likely because he protests against global warming.


In the end, however, he's all about business.


After all, there's work to do!

[All Images Via Getty.]

Because, yes, there's extra scrutiny on the the White House's 17 holiday parties and 11 open houses and 50,000 visitors. And that checking twice thing is no joke, either: in the wake of l'Affaire Salahi, there are indeed two security checkpoints and an ID requirement worthy of a Georgetown bar.

In the first barrage of holiday parties, the pressure is on: Obama's White House has already faced criticism for its handling of the first Hanukkah party and its War-on-Christmas holiday card, and it can't be the last we'll see. Especially given that they've cut down on the number of events, gotten rid of the traditional receiving-line-and-picture-op, and, as the New York Times explains, instituted "eco-friendly decorations, an understated décor to reflect the difficult economic times, and a buffet menu that showcases healthful fare like salmon, fresh vegetables and sushi." (To say nothing of Simon Doonan's decor consultation, which, given his penchant for "Neurotic Yule," and politically-charged Mr-"Potatoe"-Head-in-dunce-cap windows, seems a potentially entertaining choice.) Other changes? "The more than 800 ornaments adorning the Christmas tree in the Blue Room were recycled from earlier administrations but updated with new designs by community groups across the country...The cranberry Christmas tree in the Red Room - a holiday staple since the Reagan administration - is gone, but cranberry garlands are on the mantle." (This was the Cranberry Tree - not nearly the behemoth institution that I expected.) You can see all the decorations - including the Bo-and-organic-garden-bedecked Gingerbread White House, as featured on Oprah - at the Washington Spaces blog.) We have already informed the White House that we demand figgy pudding and won't go until we get some, security checkpoints or no.

At White House, Holidays Are Both Treat And Test [NY Times]
White House Decorations Unveiled: Reflect, Rejoice, Renew [Washington Spaces]
White House Christmas Decorations? Yes. White House Christmas Card? No. [FoxNews]

Earlier: Women: Yes You Can Hold Out For Your Own Obama

It's pretty priceless to watch Nikpour — ex-proprietor of a "racy website" and defender of schoolchildren against homosexual "techniques" — tell Sam Bee with a straight face that the Christmas ornaments the White House sent to schoolchildren for decoration were a way of "infiltrating them" with socialism. But even better is the way the kids themselves react when Bee tries this socialist-infiltration language — and, for good measure, the birther conspiracy theory — out on them. Their responses start with "do you think before you speak?" and get better from there. Glenn Beck would be no match for them.

December 16, 2009: Obama's Socialist Christmas Ornament Program [Comedy Central]

[Stafford, Virginia; December 16. Image via AP]

First lady Michelle Obama talks Toys For Tots Stafford County Distribution Center in Stafford, Va., Wednesday, Dec. 16, 2009, as she delivered Christmas toys from White House staff. At left is volunteer Wilma Vaughn. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

#10: "8 Days Of Christmas" By Destiny's Child
Year: 2001

If you're a female pop star making a Christmas video, you really have no choice but to wear a sexy Santa costume, so let's ignore the fact that Michelle is frolicking in the snow in a midriff-baring top. Like many Destiny's Child songs, "8 Days of Christmas" focuses on the exchange of goods and services between you and your "baby." While some say Christmas is about spending time with your loved ones, according to Destiny's Child. nothing "feels like Christmas" more than gift certificates, diamond belly rings, and a "crop jacket with dirty denim jeans."

#9: "Christmas in Hollis" By Run-DMC
Year: 1987

Most of the videos on this list are unintentionally ridiculous, but here Run-DMC purposely turns cheesiness into a thing of beauty. In this video we learn that Santa's base of operations is in the basement of a TV studio, he decides who's naughty or nice on a modified Simon Says, and that Run, DMC, and Jay grew up in a house constructed entirely out of cardboard.

#8: "Where Are You Christmas" By Faith Hill
Year: 2000

In this video from the How The Grinch Stole Christmas soundtrack, Faith Hill belts out a holiday power ballad while sporting crimped hair and a furry jacket that makes her look like the Abominable Snow Monster. Faith's howling and fist pounding really capture the pathos of Jim Carrey being trapped in a giant rubber Grinch suit. The video includes a cameo by Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen, but it would be much more entertaining if the Grinch took the red straps from Faith's giant belt and made her pull his sleigh instead of the dog.

#7: "This Christmas" By Chris Brown
Year: 2007

Even if you forget everything you know about Chris Brown, this video is still horrifying. Unless the movie This Christmas is about Chris harnessing his Jedi powers, there's no reason for him to be turning on lights or breaking into people's houses with his mind. Plus, the last thing anyone wants to wake up to on Christmas morning is three Chris Browns doing a Michael Jackson impersonation in the middle of their street.

#6: "Wonderful Christmas Time" By Paul McCartney
Year: 1979

Paul and Linda McCartney look like they're having fun in this video, but why does their simply wonderful Christmas time include them crashing to Earth in a giant Rubik's Cube? This video must have been created the week after the editor figured out how to do computer animation — that's the only reasonable explanation for Paul singing a duet with his CGI twin and allowing his band to be trampled by a pack of phantom horses.

#5: "Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy" By David Bowie and Bing Crosby
Year: 1977

Though this duet was filmed for Bing Crosby's Merrie Olde Christmas, for some reason David Bowie gets an original song while Bing Crosby is stuck with the "pa rum pa pum pum"s on Little Drummer Boy. But what makes this video cheesy isn't the song, it's the setup. Are we really supposed to believe that Bing has a relative named "Sir Percival"? And why doesn't David Bowie own his own piano? At least one part rings true: If we had to pick the two stars most likely to break into song with a perfect stranger, it would be Bing and Bowie.

#4: "Little Drummer Boy" By RuPaul
Year: 1993

Bing and Bowie have nothing on RuPaul's version of "Little Drummer Boy," which features a beggar drumming a funky beat, lady shepherds singing backup, and the Star of Bethlehem wedged in a foot-high wig. The best part is when RuPaul struts over to Baby Jesus, though it seems this part got cut from the gospels.

#3: "Hey Santa" By Carnie & Wendy Wilson
Year: 1993

This video starts with Carnie Wilson getting glass shards from a snow globe blown into her eyes, and grows more unsettling from there. Behind-the-scenes on the most unsafe music video set ever, we see the director getting electrocuted, beating a little person with a candy cane, and throwing Santa into the Christmas tree. Finally, Wendy chokes him and tries to leave his body behind the couch while Carnie continues to whine about Santa bringing her boyfriend home for Christmas. Hey Santa... Watch out, it's a trap!

#2: "Winter Wonderland" By Ozzy Osbourne and Jessica Simpson
Year: 2003

In this video from The Osbournes' Family Christmas Special Jessica Simpson dons her most festive halter top for some yuletide fun with the Prince of Darkness. This includes cuddling by the fire sans Sharon, building an anatomically correct snowman, and Ozzy throwing a snowball in Jess' mouth.

While we don't recommend playing this song when children or small dogs are in earshot, it still isn't Jess' worst Christmas duet ever. That would be the "Little Drummer Boy" sing-off in which she's pitted against her little sister Ashlee Simpson (and Ashlee's old nose).

#1: "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" By 'N Sync
Year: 1998
Being named the cheesiest anything isn't a tall order for 'N Sync, but it seems they went out of their way to embarrass themselves in this video. That's where Gary Coleman comes in. His presence raises so many questions, like where would one buy a child-size green vinyl pimp suit? And how long has he had the ability to summon 'N Sync by snapping his fingers?

In the clip, the boys are given the simple task of filling in for Santa, but due to their love of freak dancing they fail miserably. 'N Sync's green screen adventure begins with them handing out gifts to extras who, judging from the strategically placed dirt smudges, are supposed to be homeless. 'N Sync projects holiday greetings on the wall in several languages, since the boys think most bums are ethnic-types. After deserting their homeless brethren and changing into clothes that are three sizes too big, 'N Sync happens upon a group of children abandoned in their living room and brings them to an adult party as their kiddie entourage. It's particularly troubling when you consider what type of gift Justin Timberlake likes to put in those boxes.

Sure, there are there common pitfalls to avoid: awkward gift situations, drunk co-workers at the holiday party, and so on, but nobody seems to want to face the true challenges of the holiday season, which is why I've whipped up this handy dandy guide for you.


Holiday Disaster #1: Wild Animals Eat Your Gifts : Every so often, a lion escapes from the zoo with one mission: to destroy Christmas. Sure, the lion is usually caught by Santa Claus and taught a valuable lesson about love and sharing and the holiday spirit, but the threat remains the same: there are lions out there who want to eat your honey glazed ham and rip your crocheted scarf to shreds. It's typically no use arguing with the lions, because, well, they're lions, but if they happen to make it to your home this holiday, try scaring them off by offering to read Glenn Beck's The Christmas Sweater from start to finish. That's usually enough to send them running.


Holiday Disaster #2: He Didn't Go To Jared: STAY CALM, JEWELRY RECIPIENT. It's not your fault that your significant other has unleashed an Earth-destroying asteroid from space simply by purchasing your "Love's Embrace Always" pendant from another chain jewelry store. The world is ending, but you can still try to salvage the holiday, right? Tell your cousin Chrissie to stop screaming "He didn't go to Jared?! Why!?!" in the corner of the room and give her a fun holiday task to do instead, like decorating the cookies or digging the underground trench you'll need to hide in when the apocalypse hits. Sooner or later, everyone will be so busy preparing for the end times that they'll forget all about your sweetheart's inability to shop at the correct galleria. It's over. Be still. Soon, it won't matter where you get your jewelry, as long as your alien overlords approve.


Holiday Disaster #3: You Accidentally Buy Your Child A Possessed Doll:: It's important to remember that it could happen to anyone. How could you have known that the Happy Henrietta doll you bought little Suzie would come to life, wrangle up a possessed doll army, and threaten to take over the world? Sure, it was weird when you shook the box at Target and Happy Henrietta said, "Kill, killllllll!" instead of "I like to drink cocoa!" like the other dolls did, but you figured you'd be able to erase the creepy recording after getting some mileage out of it with your friends. In fact, you thought you actually had erased the recording, until Christmas morning, when Henrietta pushed her way out of the gift wrap you'd placed her in and started yelling orders to various inanimate objects in your house. But now you're stuck in a candy cane prison guarded by anthropomorphic Pop-Tarts with bad attitudes. Still: great holiday story for next year's party, right?


Holiday Disaster #4: Mrs. Claus Gets A Little Tipsy At Your Holiday Party: You invited her to be polite. It's rude to just ask her husband to come down for the community pancake dinner, right? And even though she was a total bitch to you in high school, you figured you'd just invite her out of common courtesy and to make the children happy. Turns out she had one too many cups of cheer and can't stop yelling "Those friggin' elves!" wherever she goes. She is scaring the children. The reindeer are peeing all over the gingerbread Eiffel Tower you built. Santa is sulking in the corner, drinking whiskey and muttering, "Holiday cheer my ass." Things are not going your way. The only way to get out of this one is to hop in the sleigh yourself and get the hell out of there, yelling, "You can have your livelihood back when you learn to behave yourselves!" That way, you get to scold the Clauses and teach the children an important lesson about not being an asshole on the job.


Holiday Disaster #5: Inappropriate Snowman: You thought you were building a jolly good friend to watch over your lawn all winter. Turns out you built a jackass who likes to yell things like, "Hey! I'd like have a snowball fight with you, if you know what I mean," every time you walk out your front door. And he's always drunk! He smells like freezer burn, Axe, and sadness. He also sold your car to a neighborhood hooligan for 50 cents and a box of corncob pipes. What a creep! You have two options here: Care Bear Stare or calling in the Heatmiser. Of course, you could always knock him down and build a better snowman, but that's not nearly as exciting.

So there you have it. I'm sorry to be the one to inform you of such awful holiday nightmares, but I thought it would be best if you were prepared. Now get out there and have a safe and happy holiday! Or at least try to. After all, we're all screwed if he doesn't go to Jared.

[Athens, December 11. Image via Getty]

A young girl stands in front of the Athens' main christmas tree at the Syntagma square on December 11, 2009. AFP PHOTO / Aris Messinis (Photo credit should read ARIS MESSINIS/AFP/Getty Images)

You will "save" if you buy right now! There must be someone in your life who needs a "Tower Of Treats." In my case, that person appears to be me.

click "full size" to enlarge

Aw, the Gingerbread Man is adorable. Wait: You have to take his head off to get to the treats? Hmm. I guess that is the fate of all Gingerbread Men and Women. More important: I spy yogurt-covered pretzels. Mmmm.

Look at the size of that chocolate chip cookie. Look at it. Then turn your attention to the true Christmas miracle: Peppermint bark.

Ignore the fruitcake and focus on the Cheesecake Party Wheel. Ask yourself this: Would you like to make a reservation for a party of one?

Fruit paired with cheese and crackers and then a side of popcorn, with cookies and candies for dessert? This is a full meal.

A Tower of Chocolates, however, has my name all over it.

Salty and sweet together really gets those taste buds going, Crunch goes so well with creaminess, and vice-versa. You can nibble, gobble, savor and… um, what were we talking about?

Damn. Forget what I said about fruit not being appealing. That pear looks juicy.

Harry & David [Official Site]

Earlier: Dean & Deluca Thanksgiving: Mouth-Watering, Wallet-Emptying
Mackenzie: Hot, Steamy, Scrumptious Food Porn

Related: Free People: Let's Pretend It's The Summer Of '69
Anthropologie's Hazy Shade Of Winter
Fetchdog, Drs Fosters & Smith: Howliday Humiliation For Dogs & Cats

All previous catalog posts

[Berlin, December 11. Image via Getty]

BERLIN - DECEMBER 11: A young girl makes sugar cookies at a kindergarten of the Rudolf Steiner Waldorfschule on December 11, 2009 in Berlin, Germany. Each year Berlin's kindergarten children get into the festive spirit and prepare cookies and biscuits prior to Christmas. (Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images)

[London, December 8. Image via Getty]

LONDON, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 08: A small girl holds her mother's hand as she looks at Selfridges store Christmas windows on December 8, 2009 in London. Retail sales are showing a slight increase during November and the first few days of December compared with the recession hit Christmas of 2008. (Photo by Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images)

[Washington, D.C., December 3. Image via Getty]

WASHINGTON - DECEMBER 03: U.S. first lady Michelle Obama greets children before she reads the story 'The Night Before Christmas' to them during the annual National Christmas Tree lighting ceremony at the Ellipse December 3, 2009 in Washington, DC. Lighting the National Christmas Tree is a yearly tradition for the President of the United State during the holiday season. (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

[Hornow, Germany; December 2. Image via Getty]

An employee of a chocolate Santa factory carries trays of freshly made produce in the eastern German city of Hornow on December 2, 2009. The Christmas season is in full swing with markets, lights and trees been set up all over the country. AFP PHOTO DDP / MICHAEL URBAN GERMANY OUT (Photo credit should read MICHAEL URBAN/AFP/Getty Images)