• A Swiss tribunal is expected to rule on Roman Polanski's appeal to be freed from jail by the end of the week. Polanski's lawyer says he would be willing to stay under house arrest at his Swiss villa if released.

• Lawyer Hervé Temime says Polanski would agree to wear an ankle bracelet, visit police officials every day, and post his property and a large sum of money as bail. "I can say very clearly that he is confronting reality," Temime said. "He is an old man of 76 with a wife and two children and he wants to resolve this." [N.Y. Times]
• TLC hasn't made an official announcement, but sources say Kate Plus 8 will be off the air in mid to late November. "They will eek out what they can in terms of more shows," said a source. "Obviously they are not shooting anymore so they are taking what they have and seeing how many more episodes they can get out of it." [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin gave a new interview about what when down in court yesterday, explaining, "Well, it was just after arbitration, we weren't supposed to take money out of the restrictive account and we both did... I was found in contempt for doing so, I didn't realize, I was just like taking my paycheck out." When asked if he'd thought about just walking up to Kate and saying, "Let's work this out," he replied, "I thought about doing that, but you know, in a public setting as a public figure you have to watch what you say and do." [Entertainment Tonight]
• DNA test have cleared Keanu Reeves of a Canadian woman's claim that he fathered at least one of her four children. She was demanding $150,000 per month in child support. [TMZ]
• Leona Lewis was at a book signing in London when, "a guy came up and punched her to the side of the head." Her spokesman said she isn't hurt but was "understandably badly shaken." Police have arrested a suspect. [BBC]
• There's video of her attacker being taken away here: [The Sun]
• When asked if he sees kids in his future, George Clooney replied: "I'm going to adopt some of Brad Pitt's kids. I owe him a few." [People]
• Jessica Simpson is denying the rumors that she's been searching through online personals. "Online dating?! Ha!" she said. "Anybody who can find love online, I guess, so be it, but I've never tried to find love online." [Ok]
• Jessica Simpson visited Morocco for her upcoming series, The Price of Beauty. She says, "Morocco is extremely empowering, and the women there are incredible... There was nothing repressed about the women … they carry themselves completely confidant, sexy, all-knowing, while completely covered. It's all about what's inside of them, and they really studied themselves. To me that is what beauty is." [People]
• After a New York Magazine reporter asked one too many questions about health care and Obama's Nobel Prize, John Mayer said, "Have you ever heard me play guitar? I'm really fucking good. You know what I'm bad at? Answering questions about public health care. This is not in my wheelhouse. Do you have any questions about music? I almost got a mad need to lighten up. You need to lighten up, because the questions you asked me were all troublemaking questions. If someone gave me the Nobel Peace Prize, and I didn't deserve it, I would just shut my mouth and enjoy the hell out of it." Later he ended the interview with, "I'm going to forcefully sodomize your editor."
  [N.Y. Magazine]
• Amy Winehouse appeared on the BBC show Strictly Come Dancing to perform the backing vocals for her god-daughter Dionne Bromfield. A source says Amy told judge Bruce Forsyth, "that she had seven years' of nightmares about him after he played a villain in Bedknobs And Broomsticks!" [The Mirror]
• Katherine Jackson says contrary to the rumors that Michael Jackson's kids will be appearing on the Jackson family's A&E reality show, she won't let them appear on any TV show. [TMZ]
• There were rumors that Michael Jackson's new song "This Is It" wouldn't be available on iTunes, but a rep for MJ says it will debut on iTunes on October 27. [All Things Digital]
• La Toya Jackson says Michael Jackson would not have been happy with the This Is It documentary being released. She says, "Michael always wants to give his best. This is a rehearsal. He wasn't giving his all. He loves to give his all always. That's just the way he is. He wants people to see him at the top of the ladder and not half-stepping because he doesn't want to do a full-out rehearsal." [Access Hollywood]
• Defendant Tarino Lightbourne didn't take the stand in the John Travolta extortion trial today, but in a statement he read to the jury he said John Travolta's lawyer called him out of the blue and offered $15 million for the "Refusal of Transport/Treatment" document with Travolta's signature. [TMZ]
• Anna Nicole Smith's bodyguard testified today that he saw Howard K. Stern inject her with liquefied Valium, but Stern's lawyer points out that just because he said it doesn't make it true. [TMZ]
• Anna Nicole Smith's former bodyguard also said that she was high on Ecstasy just before he bizarre appearance at the 2004 AMA awards. Howard K. Stern's lawyer claims she was loopy from seizure medications. [TMZ]
• Lamar Odom is refusing to compromise on his prenup with Khloe Kardashian. He could make $33 million in the next four years with the L.A. Lakers and his money will stay his. He's willing to give Khloe a chunk money every year that won't change no matter how long they're married. Khloe's willing to give in because she just wants to get legally married. [TMZ]
• Julia Roberts' 75-year-old mother Betty is recovering after undergoing emergency surgery in Atlanta for a heart attack last month. Julia only found out that she was ill after the surgery because she's filming a movie in India where cell phone coverage is unreliable. A source says, "Julia was relieved to hear that her mother had undergone surgery and was recovering. But when she found out it took a day and a half for her family to get through her intense security, she absolutely exploded." [Daily Express]
• "I wanted to work with Eminem. I don't think he wanted to work with me. Maybe he's shy." — Madonna [Daily Express]
• TMZ has the Late Show With David Letterman Intern Packet from 2002. It says, "Things might seem overwhelming at first. There are many names, faces and departments you'll need to know. If you get confused, ask questions, no one here bites," which TMZ finds hilarious. [TMZ]
• According to divorce documents filed by Brandi Glanville, she only found out Eddie Cibrian was cheating on her when it was reported by the tabloids in March. She says he promised to stop cheating and they went to counseling, but by July she found out he was still cheating thanks to media coverage. [TMZ]
• In the video at the link, Ice T says he didn't realize how serious Swine Flu is until one of his friends caught it and died. [TMZ]
• Fergie is the latest celebrity to become a minority owner of the Miami Dolphins, joining Marc Anthony, Serena Williams, Venus Williams, and Gloria Estefan. [MTV]
• Russell Brand's ex Georgina Ballie is warning Katy Perry that, "Everyone knows you don't date Russell Brand seriously. Russell likes the idea of having a serious relationship, but when you've got all these different flavours of ice cream offered to you on a plate, you're not going to stick with vanilla, are you? I don't think he's capable of monogamy." [Daily Express]
• VIDEO: Since Miley Cyrus rapped her Twitter farewell, last night Jimmy Fallon dressed as Billy Ray Cyrus and rapped, "Hey there, America, let's make this clear / Miley might be gone, but I'm still here ... As long as my heart's still beatin' / I'm gonna be tweetin' / 'cause I got a full house like my name was Jodie Sweetin ... Achy-Breaky Tweets!" [E!]
• Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's reality show has been renewed for another season. [People]
• Shauna Sand's lawyer is demanding that Vivid Entertainment "cease and desist" from selling a sex tape of Sand and her boyfriend because it was "not created or intended for sale or public distribution." [TMZ]
• Randy Jackson says that while men have won the past two seasons of American Idol, "I think I have to give the edge going in to the girls. We haven't had a girl winner in a long time and some interesting talented girls showed up [to audition.]" [People]
• Emma Thompson's tips for a good marriage are: "Be alert, be appreciative and work hard... There is no secret, but never allow yourself to just trundle along – that is when problems start. Remember to go out for dinner if you haven't seen each other all week and make regular dates." [The Telegraph]
• Vincent Kartheiser says he's rarely recognized, even though he carries a Sterling Cooper bag. He explains, "I've only been recognized for that once, and I wear it almost everywhere. People don't read each others' bags. Especially in cities like New York. No one looks at me on the bus in L.A. I've never been bothered on the bus. Mad Men's not on Telemundo yet." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Christian Slater says of acting with a Rottweiler on the forgotten, "It's actually really nice when the dog shows up and he's ready and prepared, and he definitely hit his cues and knew his lines... He was perfect. He gave me a lot to work with. It's like a tennis match, being an actor, and you're only as good as the people you're playing opposite against, and today I have to really take my hat off to this dog." [AP]

[Los Angeles, August 23. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Carine Roitfeld: "You know it's easier to look great in a dress when you are skinny. But I like a bit of curves and I like to do stories with different kinds of women...

• ... Because I see beauty in everyone." Can anyone remember the last time a French Vogue spread used a plus-size model? Because I cannot. [Fashionologie]
• Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd allegedly "chucked a wobbly" — in the native patois — when, while visiting Afghanistan, he wasn't able to blow-dry his hair prior to a photo op. [Times of London]

• Meanwhile, Gordon Brown wears four different kinds of foundation and bronzer, according to a step-by-step makeup guide left in the back of a taxi by an aide. [Daily Beast]
• Michelle Obama wore Michael Kors to the White House Correspondents Dinner, in case anyone is interested. Christian Slater, also in attendance, brushed up on his U.S. history: "I learned that John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the same day within hours of each other 50 years from signing the Declaration of Independence." [WWD]
• Business Week found the factory in China that makes a shoe Michelle Obama wore once last fall — the Bandolino "Berry" pump — and the management there reports that its U.S. shipments have increased by 50% this year on last. Imagine this woman's effects scaled industry-wide. [BusinessWeek]
• Speaking of which, the First Lady's de facto stylist, Ikram Goldman, is reported to have ordered a white tuxedo from Martin Margiela. Michelle's probably steering clear of the Belgian designer's human-hair coats and comb minidresses, however. [Metro]
• To heighten excitement for its resort collection, which will be presented in no doubt lavish circumstances in Venice this Thursday, Chanel uploaded a video of Lara Stone and Baptiste Giabiconi trying on the collection while Karl Lagerfeld directs and Miles Davis plays. (Moderately NSFW.) [Fashionologie]
• Kylie Minogue is doing a guest spot on next week's Britain's Next Top Model. [Mirror]
• Adriana Lima recommends boxing for health. Insert your own knock-out pun here. [People]
• Forever 21 knocked off Lanvin. Given the original t-shirt cost somewhere north of $600 US — it was 3% silk! — and given Alber Elbaz's firm position against doing a diffusion line of his own, it's hard to raise much ire about this. But has anyone at this chain ever had an idea of their own? [Fashionista]
• There was another high-end robbery in London's West End last night. This time, thieves targeted the Harvey Nichols, and stole hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of Garrard jewelry. An Anya Hindmarch store in the same neighborhood was burglarized last week, to the tune of £45,000. [UK Vogue]
• Union employees at Hart Schaffner Marx's Chicago factory are threatening a sit-in if the new owners of their bankrupt parent company, Hartmarx, move towards liquidation. [WWD]

Says the Times of London, "There are no half measures: most women would either love or loathe Tamara Mellon." Really? Why? Is it just the successful woman's curse? Or are we supposed to resent her privilege? Mellon was born to wealth, the daughter of a model and a man who made his fortune with Vidal Sassoon and loaned her the seed money for the Jimmy Choo empire. Mellon swears she wasn't pampered, that her father was an exacting mentor who demanded hard work and matched her childhood earnings as an incentive, later encouraging Tamara to run a booth at the Portobello Road flea market.

'My father always used to say, "You have to learn to work. If you don’t, you won’t get anything from me."' She did learn to work, with a job as accessories editor on British Vogue, surely the best possible grounding for what was to come. She also learnt to play — rather too hard. She was an It girl in the late 1990s, partying with Tara Palmer-Tomkinson and Tamara Beckwith, but that part of her life came to an end when she checked into rehab, a period she now feels was a positive one: 'I had time to think, to assess what I wanted, and I came out and bought Jimmy Choo.'

Okay, so there's that. And there's the fact that, to some, it can seem a bit unbecoming to have made a fortune on the back of a Malaysian artisan, even if he was well-compensated and got fame and recognition out of it. Then there are the lawsuits: a really ugly divorce from banking scion Matthew Mellon and a suit against her mother over some Jimmy Choo stock. Mellon is generally regarded as a very canny and hard-nosed businesswoman, so the thinking might go that those who don't resent her silver spoon, inherited beauty and connections may well find the ambition off-putting: as she says, “By the end of 2009,we will have 100 stores. This is a good time to expand. Prime real estate always comes up for sale in a crisis, and at a good price...I always said I was determined to own a truly global brand. I didn’t buy Jimmy Choo just to have a couple of shoe shops in London, did I?'”

All this is to say nothing of the houses, the high-profile romances, and quotes like this, "'I archive all my important pieces for my daughter to wear some day. She loves fashion, and wearing high heels, even though she’s only six. For a special treat, we sometimes do fashion shows at home, just for fun. You can’t start too early.'”

And yet, does any of this actually bother anyone? In some it might, but I feel no enmity at all towards the lovely Tamara. Despite what the papers might hope, Mellon's "don't give a damn" attitude is one that appeals to most women. Jennifer Aniston and her ilk are regarded as polarizing because they seek to manipulate public sentiment; this, I think, is far more problematic to women today than someone who forges her own path. Yes, some might snark at silver spoons and plum jobs, or even the frivolity of thousand-dollar shoes, but when that's been spun into a $100 million empire, very few are going to regard her with anything but admiration. When we have Peaches Geldof, Times, very few of us are wasting any vitriol on a woman who, quite frankly, has earned a right to do what she wants.

In Her Shoes: Tamara Mellon [Times of London]

• You've heard it before, you'll hear it again: Madonna and Guy: DIVORCE! They want it over by Christmas, says a source. [The Sun]
• Madonna actually wanted to wait until the end of her tour to announce the split. [Mirror]
• And! The divorce settlement could leave Guy Ritchie pocketing up to £150 million. There was no pre-nup! [Daily Mail]
• Here's a chronological "diary" of the events leading up to the divorce. [Mirror]
• Oh, but Madonna's cast was impressed with her dedication on the set of Filth And Wisdom. Lead actress Holly Weston says: "Everything had to be perfect. I think she was even there before us in the morning." [Daily Express]
• Mothers Against Murder and Aggression (MAMA) are "horrified" that Madonna wore Karl Lagerfeld shoes with gun-shaped heels to her film premiere. [Daily Express]

• Hayden Panettiere's dad has been temporarily ordered not to "harass, strike or threaten" his wife. Temporarily??? [People]
• By the by, Hayden Panettiere wants you to smoke cigarettes and vote for John McCain. [Funny Or Die]
• Blake Lively, Penn Badgley and some other kids are backing Barack Obama in a pretty funny MoveOn video. [StarPulse]
• Speaking of Blake Lively, her father was critically injured in a car wreck late Tuesday night. Blake flew to L.A. yesterday to be by his side: actor Ernie Lively has a broken back, arm and nose. "It was pretty bad — he's lucky to be alive," says a source. [Star]
• Blake's dad is expected to make a full recovery. [Us Magazine]
• What's this? Even John McCain thinks Sarah Palin is gonna be on SNL. [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Aniston and John "The Player" Mayer had dinner Saturday night New York. Is it back on? Are they just friends? [People]
• Jen and John had dinner Sunday night in New York as well. Reunited, and it feels so good! [Page Six]
• Holy crap: Britney's going on tour next spring? It would be her first time since 2004. Well, touring is where the cash is. The lady has kids to feed. [Reuters]
• Christina Aguilera says she's having more kids. Definitely. And: "I'm in love with my life." And: "I think it's important to share what I love – what makes me me – with my son. So. I change diapers and I breastfeed him and I play with him and then I work. I want to show Max everything about me." [People]
• Liz Taylor has become a regular at The Abbey, the hottest gay bar in West Hollywood. A source says: "She talks to everyone and everybody just loves her. She particularly likes watermelon martinis and tequila shots." [Daily Express]
• Between building homes for people displaced by Katrina, dabbling in photography and donating $100,000 to support gay marriage in California, Brad Pitt doesn't seem very interested in Hollywood. [ABC News]
• Holly Madison wanted to have kids with Hugh Hefner, so she did everything she could. Yeah, she slept with him. And! She tried fertility treatments. [Extra]
• Demi Moore will make her directorial debut, and the flick will star her daughter, Rumer. It's a 20-minute short film for Glamour's Reel Moments project. [ONTD]
• Someone actually paid $20,000 to box with Michael Lohan. Well, it is for charity. The dude is Robert Venero, president and CEO of Future Tech Enterprise in Holbrook, Long Island. He also bought 50 seats at $150 each so his friends can watch the fight. It all goes down November 24th at the Hilton Long Island in Melville. The rumble is a bungle! [Perez Hilton]
• DJ AM will appear on tour with Jay-Z tonight at the Hollywood Palladium in a big comeback move. [Perez Hilton]
• Colin Farrell has opened up about his stint in rehab on the BBC's Friday Night With Jonathan Ross: "I began to come out of the haze that I was in and had burrowed myself into so deeply...Basically, I'd been fairly drunk or high since I was 14. I was very drunk and high for 16 years, so it was a tough life change, and I was dying. I'm one of the lucky ones." The video is worth watching for his fascinating eyebrows alone. [E!]
• Meredith Vieira stubbed her big toe pretty badly and the financial crisis is to blame. [NY Observer]
• The lawyer who reps Anne Hathaway's ex, Raffaello Follieri, is trying to get him less jail time. She wants to speed up his deportation back to Italy and reduce his prison sentence from 5 to 3 years. She also calls him "deeply religious" and mentions his sick mother in Italy. He picked a good one. [Reuters]
• Ashlee Simpson's mom is moving in for a few days — or weeks — to help out after Ash gives birth. Pete Wentz is "cool with it." [Just Jared]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham will be on Gordon Ramsay's new show. Just. Can't> Picture. Her. Cooking. [The Sun]
• The son of the Beckhams' housekeepers has been arrested on suspicion of theft of items from their some that were later offered for sale on eBay. [Daily Mail]
• Reese Witherspoon and Ben Stiller will star in a "wacky disaster comedy" about a Hawaiian volcano that needs a virgin sacrifice? Well, Cameron Crowe is involved… [Perez Hilton]
• Simon Cowell sits on cushions to look taller on TV. [Perez Hilton]
• Kim Kardashian: Calls Reggie Bush her "hubby" but he's not even her fiancé. Someone said they saw that she was hitched on Facebook. "I'm not engaged," she says. "I'm not even on Facebook!" [E!]
• Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley are putting on a "united front" by going out to dinner amid split rumors, which could mean the rumors are just rumors. [Daily Express]
• Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli: Spotted together in Cancun, then West Hollywood, then Beverly Hills. It's definitely on. [Perez Hilton]
• Sacha Baron Cohen bumped into a waiter and sent a tray of food flying all over his white suit at his birthday dinner in West Hollywood. It might have actually been real and not a joke. [Mirror]
• It seems that Nikki Ziering was pregnant when she was on Hulk Hogan Celebrity Championship Wrestling. Probably not a good idea to wrestle with a bun in the oven, no? [TMZ]
• Vanessa Redgrave and Natasha Richardson, mother and daughter, will play mother and daughter in a one-night concert version of A Little Night Music, the Stephen Sondheim-Hugh Wheeler musical. [AP]
• Gary Coleman pleaded not guilty to charges of disorderly conduct and reckless driving yesterday regarding that September incident at a bowling alley where he allegedly hit a dude with his truck who was trying to take a cell phone picture. Coleman's lawyer says: "He simply acted accordingly with what normal human beings would do." LOL. [AP]
• John Travolta was gonna film in one of Paris's toughest housing projects, but 10 cars to be used in the movie were burned. [Yahoo News]
• A photographer for UK tabloid paper The Sun spills: "Working with Madonna was fantastic… I also got to see Pink in a thong when shooting the video for one of her in a shower. I tried to avert my eyes but it was strange..." Mariah Carey is the biggest diva who "doesn’t like downward shadows on her face." [The Sun]
• Christie Brinkley is suing ex-husband Peter Cook for taking her kids out of town by single-engine plane. [NY Post]
• Tim McGraw apologizes for his greatest hits album. Not for the music, but for not releasing new tracks. Although he blames his label. [People]
• "I had just lost my virginity the year before. So to go from doing that to shooting a love scene... I remember I talked to Sean Connery about it and told him I was nervous before going in there and he just said, 'Well, all I can tell you boy is breathe, remember to breathe.'" — Christian Slater, on his first love scene, in The Name Of The Rose.
• "It's coming to a point where I love this show so much, but I'm ready to kind of walk away. I've been doing it for five years now. Five years on TV is a really, really long time. It's more difficult when not only everyone knows about your problems, but they make them worse because things escalate and things get twisted. It's hard to have an actual friendship be torn apart in the media." — Lauren Conrad, on The Hills. [Perez Hilton]
• "There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks…to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't give a [bleep] what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - yer kid is NOT autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both." — Denis Leary. [Page Six]

• Ellen DeGeneres has come out against Proposition 8 on her blog. She says: "It’s called, 'The California Marriage Protection Act' — but don’t let the name fool you. It’s not protecting anyone’s marriage. Not yours. Not mine." She continues: "Please VOTE NO on Proposition 8. And now that you’re informed, spread the word. I’m begging you. I can’t return the wedding gifts — I love my new toaster." [People]
• Steven Spielberg and wife Kate Capshaw have matched Brad Pitt's $100,000 donation to fight Proposition 8. [The Campaign Silo]
• Trouble in paradise for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt? Apparently she was peeved that he took a bunch of trips after she gave birth to the twins, so she threatened to leave him. Everything is probably fine, but what if they did break up? So sad. And what a freakin mess. [The Sun]
• Yes, Clay Aiken is gay. Also! The sky is blue. [Page Six]
• Did Kate Moss break up with Jamie Hince because he didn't want to father a child for her? Seems like she wants another kid and he's afraid to commit to that, since he's always touring with his band. Anyway: Looks like they might be patching things up. [The Sun]

• Even though Travis Barker is mourning the death of two close friends and suffering from severe burns, a friend says he is "trying to stay upbeat." [People]
• We've heard this before but: Britney is selling her house. [UPI]
• The latest exchange between Lindsay and Michael Lohan: She says, "My father obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods. He is out of line and his words show how much anger he has, and it's dangerous and scary as it reminds me of how he treated my mother and I my whole childhood. He needs to be stopped. This is yet another reason why we aren't speaking." [Page Six]
• This is great: "If you don't want to get photographed topless wearing a mermaid costume, don't go to P. Diddy's star-studded White Party topless wearing a mermaid costume." The chick in the starfish pasties actually tried to sue Diddy after her picture was printed in Vibe magazine with the caption "Mermaids Gone Wild." [NY Post]
• Shannen Doherty is speaking out about the skinny stars on 90210: "I see those girls and they eat on the set, so I'm pretty sure they're not starving themselves," she claims. "I don't really think it's some magazine's obligation to put these girls on the cover and point fingers at them. Either way, they need to leave them alone." [Yahoo News]
• Nicole Kidman says the water in the outback while filming Australia got her pregnant. "Seven babies were conceived out of this film and only one was a boy. There is something up there in the Kununurra water because we all went swimming in the waterfalls, so we can call it the fertility waters now." [News.com.au]
• Ronnie Dunn from Brooks & Dunn says Nicole and Keith will find living in Nashville "peaceful." [People]
• Kirsten Dunst and Justin "I'm A Mac" Long: Splitsville. [Perez Hilton]
• More trouble for Anne Hathaway's ex-boyfriend: Raffaello Follieri has been accused by a Roman Catholic priest of bamboozling him out of $110,000. Holy crap. [E!]
• Ugly Betty's Ana Ortiz was in a romantic relationship that turned physically abusive when she was in her 20s. But! She uses her pain to play Betty's sister Hilda. [USA Today]
• How times have changed: Back in 2005, the ladies of Desperate Housewives had a tense, catty photo shoot for the cover of Vanity Fair. Now, the actresses are on the new issue of TV Guide. Not only did the shoot go smoothly, but the show approached the magazine for publicity, instead of the other way around. [MSNBC]
• Jude Law was spotted among the protesters gathered near the United Nations earlier this week. Research for a film? Or was he trying to get a glimpse of Sarah Palin? [MSNBC]
• Christian Slater spills all to GQ: He talks about getting drunk at 9 years old and the infamous 1989 incident in which he led police on an alcohol-induced car chase through West Hollywood, eventually crashing into a telephone pole and kicking the cops who came to arrest him. The charges included assault with a deadly weapon—his cowboy boots. [News.com.au]
• Diane Lane: Quitting acting? She says: "I can't do anything official. My agents won't let me. Between you and me, I don't have anything else coming out, and I'm just gonna be taking my kids to driving school and making sure they don't cause any trainwrecks with their texting." [Daily Express]
• The Oasis comeback show is canceled; Noel Gallagher needs more time to recover from broken ribs received when a "nutter" attacked him on stage in Canada. [The Sun]
• Socialite Olivia Palermo will be on Whitney Port's new show, The City. Thank Zeus someone who actually knows New York is involved. [Page Six]
• Megan Fox gave an interview to GQ in which she talked about being in a same-sex relationship with a stripper named Nikita. Her mom says: "I love my daughter dearly. But Megan is, well, Megan. I know she has a good sense of humor, and I take this interview in that context." [Perez Hilton]
• Size doesn't matter: Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer has a new girlfriend, a model named Dominique. [Perez Hilton]
• Michael Jackson wants his new album to be amazing, so he's hired Ne-Yo to write some songs. Ne-Yo's written for Beyoncé and Rihanna and says: "Michael is very nervous as he knows he's the underdog and people want him to fail." Not fail! But not scare us with pure creepiness. [Mirror]
• Uh-oh. Quincy Jones is not involved with Michael Jackson's new album. Big mistake. [Fox 411]
• Kanye West and 50 Cent are releasing albums in December — only a week apart. Last year, they both dropped CDs on the same day and Kanye sold more. Who will emerge victorious this time? [Mirror]
• Boy George to George Michael: "Get away from your drug problems and get yourself clean." In other words, do you really want to hurt me you? [Mirror]
• Tim Burton's ex, Lisa Marie, won't be getting more of Tim Burton's money. [Breitbart]
• Rapper DMX missed a court date because he was hospitalized. And he might have been in the hospital due to "fear of stroke." No, really. [Reuters]
• More rumors that Hugh Hefner's "girlfriends" are hooking up with other people. [Page Six]
• "Whenever the Jonas Brothers come on TV, I freak out, because they're so cute." — Jennie Garth on GlamourTV. [Page Six]
• "It's a very screwed-up family. If you want to be emotionally healthy and strong, you've got to get out. It's a truly sad situation." — Griffin O'Neal, Ryan O'Neal's son (not the one who got arrested recently.) Griffin has Melorheostosis, a rare bone disease which may necessitate amputation of his left leg. [People]
• "I want to call our baby Midnight or 411. I really like information, and being a night owl, it's a good fit." — Will Arnett on his upcoming kid with Amy Poehler. [Rush & Molloy]

[New York, May 5. Image via INFDaily.com.]

• The facts speak for themselves: Heidi Klum is designing a capsule collection for Jordache, for which she has been modeling over the past year. Think she'll offer hair extensions to cover nipples as well? [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Kathy Hilton just released her own perfume. It's called "My Secret." We don't really want to think about what Kathy Hilton's secret might smell like. [BellaSugar]
  
• Gloria Steinem would not approve: Georgina Chapman, Marchesa designer and wife of Halston co-owner Harvey Weinstein, was named "Georgina Weinstein" on her front row seat at Halston yesterday. Only, as Chapman herself put it, "I didn't change my name, they did it for me." [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Jimmy Choo's CEO Tamara Mellon thinks that boyfriend Christian Slater should take a more active, or acting, role in fashion. Mellon says Slater would be "perfect" to play Halston in any upcoming biopic on the designer. [WWD, 1st item]

• One last Halston item! Rachel Zoe, who sits on the label's creative advisory team, wasn't at yesterday's debut show. A rep for the label was quick to issue a statement that Zoe has not been fired. Um, the lady doth protest too much? [WWD, 2nd item]
• Does the fashion industry hate the Bush Administration? Laura Bush is having a luncheon next week for all the designers who participated in this year's The Heart Truth's Red Dress Collection but Nicole Miler, Donna Karan, Carmen Marc Valvo, Tracy Reese, and Marchesa designers Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig have all said that they won't be able to attend. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Is anyone else depressed that Naomi Campbell and Andre Leon Talley collaborated to star and style in a SoBe "Thrillicious" commercial? [Fashion Week Daily]
• Burberry faux-fur parkas actually use dog fur. Fun! [UPI]
• Charges have been dropped against the manager of the Abercrombie & Fitch store in Virginia Beach, who was scapegoated by a cop whose delicate sensibilities were offended by A&F ads. [MSNBC]
• The latest item up for sale under Bono's (Product) RED line: The Mulberry Roxanne bag, done in sweatshirt material (red, naturally), for the Gap. [Sassybella]
• Count Fergie in as the latest face of MAC Viva Glam lipstick. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Brittany Murphy on Mr. and Mrs. Max Azria: "They're a very nice family, with great morals, very grounded. Plus, they'll even invite you over for Shabbat dinner. Who would turn that down?" [WWD, 4th item]
• Model Caroline Trentini has declared that she will be donating a percentage of her earnings from New York fashion shows to the Center of Support of Underprivileged Children with Cancer in her native Brazil. [WWD, 5th item]
• Is model/First Lady of France Carla Bruni pregnant with a son? [Vogue UK]
• Just what the world needed: Chocolate Armani Easter eggs. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Avon profits have dropped by 30%. There is no time for beauty in a recession. [Breitbart]

• Lindsay Lohan has checked out of rehab! She left Friday afternoon. Good luck, LL! [CNN]
  
• Britney Spears has reunited with her mother (and sister)! Lynne Spears and Jamie Lynn flew from Louisiana to Los Angeles Friday night. Saturday Jamie Lynn and Britney were seen going to Taco Bell, yum. [People]
  
• Third time's the charm: Pam Anderson married her "friend" Rick Salomon Saturday night in Las Vegas. She wore a white denim dress and the ceremony took place in between magic shows she was working. [People]
  
• Mary-Kate Olsen was seen making out with a "scruffy" guy in Paris: He pushed her up against the wall, she wrapped her legs around him, and the people in the restaurant applauded. Uh, we're speechless. [Page Six]

• Charlie Sheen is getting his 13 tattoos removed for fiancée Brooke Mueller, including "a dragon with glasses" and wooden sign above his heart that says "back in 15 minutes." Lately we know more about Charlie than we EVER wanted to. [Page Six]
• Kanye West will be performing at In Touch's 5th anniversary party Wednesday. Is that what he meant when he said "Give a black man a chance" ? [Page Six]
• Someone mistook Sarah Silverman for Melissa Rivers? "We do have a similar simian look," Sarah said. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which recently separated star had his sidekick secure two young ladies to join him for a wild night back at his new bachelor pad?" [Page Six]
• Orlando Bloom was seen on a date with an Australian model? What about Jennifer Aniston? [Page Six]
• The FBI is investigating those nude pictures of Kim and Kourtney Kardashian that may have been taken before they turned 18. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which man-loving Fox personality might want to keep his cats off the bed during intimate moments? Because you know how the gays gossip about things like that." [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Diddy has a new daughter! Well, she's 15 months old and he seems to have known her mother only briefly... But a DNA test says she's his. This makes 6 kids for the hip-hop mogul. [Rush & Molloy]
• David and Victoria Beckham added a pool to their vacation home in Bargemon, France, but did not obtain a building permit and may be forced to demolish it. [Riviera Times]
• Christian Slater's new woman? Jimmy Choo founder Tamara Mellon. "We seem to be well matched," she says. [Daily Mail]
• Prince William and Kate Middleton may consider legal action against the "aggressive" photographers who followed them after they went to a London club last week. Considering the inquest going on regarding the death of his mother ten years ago, it's understandable that he is "furious." [Telegraph]
• Christina Aguilera is registered at Bel Bambini in West Hollywood, in case you want to pick something up for her unborn child. [People]