This eight-inch tall Kubrick of Max from Where The Wild Things Are is fairly cute and totally collectible, which is why they can price it at $149.99. Me? I'd rather have the "My Reusable Bag Makes Me Better Than You" tote, for $9.99. I might even buy one for my sister.

It was actually someone's job to be on nose-quality control for this Barbra Streisand Barbie. Think about that.

Wolverine's leather jacket is awesome, though pricey ($348.99). The Boondock Saints figures have interchangeable heads! Meanwhile. Lucius Malfoy looks like he had a bad experience at the salon. Someone get him a concentrated humectant, STAT!

Yeah yeah yeah. Twilight. I was just noticing how cute Coraline's outfits are. $42 for a set of three? Seems fair. I wish she came with the glow-in-the-dark star spangled sweater, though.

Um. This Bruce Wayne doll. Is hot. Am I weird? Because I really think they did a good job. A scowl like that makes my parts feel funny. And yet: For $205, he really ought to offer to cook dinner. Or, at the very least, vibrate.

I really wish that Anakin Skywalker's robe and boots could be my new blogging outfit. Add a white tee and jeans and you have an ensemble! I'd go to the deli, the post office, etc. It's really a fashion-forward look, right up there with Cloak or Margiela. Until you add the light saber.

The Debbie Harry doll "screams charisma!" But not literally. Unfortunately.

Wait. OMG. Tiny stripper shoes.

Joan Jett's sneakers and wrist bandanna: Love.

I know she was unusual. But she didn't have rick rack on her dress, did she?

Earlier: Entertainment Earth: Where Your Fangirl Dreams Come True

Harry & David's Merry, Mouth-Watering Christmas With A Crunch
Free People: Let's Pretend It's The Summer Of '69
Anthropologie's Hazy Shade Of Winter
Fetchdog, Drs Fosters & Smith: Howliday Humiliation For Dogs & Cats
Dear Santa: Have You Seen The December J. Crew?
Barneys: Wooing With Witticisms & Wallet-Emptying Wares
Ashro: Stop Being Such A Slob And Get Yourself A Suit, Hat & Wig
19 Crappy & Crazy Christmas Gifts From Sky Mall
Silver Belles & Butt Floss: Christmas At Frederick's Of Hollywood
Preclears On Your List? Shop The Scientology Holiday Catalog

• Jessica Biel is "the most dangerous celebrity to search in cyberspace," according to security software firm McAfee.

Searching for "Jessica Biel photos" or "Jessica Biel videos," you have a one in five chance of landing on a site that's got spyware, adware, spam, phishing, viruses and other malware. Last year Brad Pitt was number one. This year poor lonely Jennifer Aniston is number 3, behind Beyoncé. [MSNBC]

• In The UK, Whatshername is the most dangerous. [Telegraph]
• Sensitive headline of the day: "IT'S JACKO-CIDE!" [NY Post]
• Cops say that Dr. Conrad Murray waited 82 minutes after Michael Jackson had stopped breathing before dialing 911. Record show that Dr. Murray was on the phone for 47 minutes — in three separate calls — before dialing 911. [People]
• La Toya Jackson will do a one-on-one interview with Barbara Walters, to air Friday, September 11. La Toya released a statement which reads: "I am thankful to the investigators for uncovering the truth to the world, and I look forward to the day that justice will be to served to all the parties involved in my brother's homicide." [ABC News]
• Susan Etok, A doctor from the UK is saying that Michael Jackson wanted to get her pregnant: "He wanted to use his sperm and my eggs to become a dad again. "He was really fixated on my genes." [The Sun]
• Dr. Etok also has written a letter to President Obama, urging him to consider "harsher punitive measures" for "unethical Doctors." [TMZ]
• More evidence that Michael Jackson was not broke, but cash poor. [TMZ]
• "I've known Michael for over a decade and there were times when I could not wake up Michael Jackson." — Uri Geller. [Mirror]
• Janet Jackson will chair the AmfAR event in Milan during Fashion Week. [WWD]
• Kate Gosselin will be on Larry King Live tonight. Are we sick of her yet? [ET]
• On September 14, Oprah Winfrey will announce her first new book club pick in over year. She Tweeted she had "never made a selection like 'this.'" [USA Today]
• The father of Ryan Jenkins says: "If my son was guilty, he was crazy… He was not the boy we knew. The boy we knew was not capable of anything remotely close to this act." [E!]
• Pop star and juvenile diabetes spokesperson Nick Jonas wants to be president. "As much as I joke about it and kind of say it to get a laugh, it is somewhat serious. I don't know if it will happen." [Reuters]
• Crash diet alert: Leonardo DiCaprio is working on an action flick called Inception, directed by The Dark Knight's Christopher Nolan. Apparently there's a scene in which he needs to appear "emaciated," so Leo is cutting back calories and exercising rigorously. [Radar Online]
• Speaking of weight loss, Mark Wahlberg is worried that Christian Bale, his costar in The Fighter, has dropped too many pounds to play a drug-addicted boxer. God, remember The Machinist? [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Robin Williams will not be putting on a wig and pantyhose to play Susan Boyle in a biopic, despite what you may have heard. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Kari Ann Peniche, the woman in the Rebecca Gayheart/Eric Dane video, may have effed up by signing a deal with E! for an exclusive interview, and then talking to some magazine. [Gatecrasher]
• Mickey Rourke: Delayed at JFK security on his way to Bosnia. Screeners rifled through his bags and asked him how much money he was carrying. [Gatecrasher]
• Britney Spears took her kids on a pedicab ride through Central Park. [Gatecrasher]
• Bronx Wentz may go into show business. He's been going to work with his mom Ashlee Simpson on the set of Melrose Place and she says: "I'm all about whatever it is Bronx likes to do and wants to do. Definitely going to follow what it is that he loves and hope to be a great parent in that way." [E!]
• David Letterman's former nanny has written a book called Harry and Horsie, based on a homemade gift for Letterman's son four years ago. [USA Today]
• Shia LaBeouf and his Wall Street 2 costar Carey Mulligan: It's on. [Gatecrasher]
• Bob Dylan is in talks with some car companies about being the voice of their GPS systems. He joked that it would probably sound like: "Left at the next street. No, right. You know what? Just go straight." Then he said: "I probably shouldn't do it because whichever way I go, I always end up at one place - on Lonely Avenue." [Mirror]
• Kim Kardashian will executive produce a reality show about her publicist pal Jonathan Cheban. Behind-the-scenes drama! [Page Six]
• Magician David Blaine wasn't rescued by lifeguards from rough surf over the weekend, he was "escorted." "I did swim back by myself," he notes. [Page Six]
• Katy Perry is talking about her boobs again; this time she auctioned a cast of them for charity and claims: "They had to get extra plaster to cast them because they are so big.I was very proud because it was early in my career and they fetched 3,500 dollars, which I think is pretty good." [The Sun]
• Guess who's (maybe) getting her on TV show? Candy Spelling. A scripted show, not a reality show. Candy says, "I wouldn't do a reality show." And! Daughter Tori Spelling says if her mom did get a show, "I wish her the best." [Radar Online]
• Eddie Cibrian's estranged wife to LeAnn Rimes: "He's all yours." [UPI]
• "Eddie is a compulsive liar, cheater and a home wrecker. And he has been an absentee father." — Eddie Cibrian's wife, Brandi Glanville. Estranged wife, that is. [MSNBC via Us Weekly]
• Is this a joke? Pauly Shore has a reality show called Adopted, about his efforts to adopt an African child. [Page Six]
• Lisa Marie Presley's nanny claims she was forced to work 7 days a week without meal breaks or getting overtime. [TMZ]
• Poor 87-year-old Jack Klugman is still trying to get cash from doing TV Show Quincy, M.E. from 1976-1983. This is his second lawsuit over this issue. [Reuters]
• Whatshername is pregnant again?!?!?! [Telegraph]
• "I never really criticized John… He was a very soft-centered guy and we had a lot more in common than people think." — Paul McCartney on John Lennon. [Mirror]
• "Thankfully my sister is with her… I talk to either my sister or my mother, if she is able to talk, every day and sometimes more than once,. But it's been bad. I was trying to get away two weekends ago and then, pow. Something came up with Lifetime and they wanted me to do something and I just - I am very loyal to them. Whatever they want, I'll do it." — Tim Gunn's Project Runway schedule has been keeping him from his dying mother. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I have to confess I always hated any person from Scotland who went and lost their accent in the slightest. But I've spent a year-and-a-half now playing roles as an American and I'm not comfortable enough doing those accents only when we film, so I have to keep it up all the time. I really hate myself for doing that." —Gerard Butler. [Mirror]
• "I love to spoil Harlow." — Joel Madden. [Page Six]
• "I feel empowered. Finally. When you don't believe in yourself, you feel like you're living in fear. You don't give yourself the opportunity to believe that you can. And as much as you tell yourself you can't do it, you end up not doing it. Me? I was complacent and comfortable where I was. Here, sometimes it's like my music didn't quite work, but overseas it's on top of everybody's chart. I've had more international success than domestic success, and I think that opens my eyes up to music. I mean, I just got back from performing in Lebanon. Lebanon!"— Kelly Rowland, who sings three tracks on French DJ David Guetta's One Love. [USA Today]
• "I mean this from the bottom of my heart: I don't care if I win. I'm not doing this to try and prove that I'm better than someone else at something, I'm doing it because it scares me. Dancing is something that I've always really wanted to be able to do, but never had the confidence and the technique, if you know what I mean. I'm not very graceful, so it's just something that absolutely terrifies me - and it's the main reason that I kind of wanted to do it."— Kelly Osbourne, on Dancing With The Stars. [Daily Mail]
• "Yes, it's true, I don't date Black men. I never have. It's not a prejudice. It's just a personal preference. People always think that Big Papa is Black. I don't know why. I've never dated a Black man. It's not to say it wouldn't happen in the future, but at this time, I never have." — Real Housewife Kim Zolciak. [ONTD]

• Petersen's group aims to appoint a financial guardian to watch over any money made by Suleman's children during the filming of their upcoming reality show. Suleman attempted to have the judge dismiss the petition, but the judge refused. [Reuters]
• Model Jasmine Fiore's body was identified by the serial numbers in her breast implants—a necessary step after, as Dodai mentioned yesterday, her killer had removed her teeth and fingers in an attempt to throw off the police investigation. Suspect Ryan Jenkins of VH1's Megan Wants A Millionaire is still at large. [USWeekly]
• VH1 is still uncertain as to whether I Love Money 3, a show Jenkins competed on, will ever air. [NYTimes]
• "If someone told me that I would [go into space and] never come back, and if I didn't have a family, I would definitely go and spend my last days in outer space. Escaping into another planet or another world or another way of life . . . keeps me centered and balanced."-Mya [PageSix]
• The release of Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Michelle Williams, has been moved from October to February, meaning the film won't be released in time for Oscar consideration this year. [NYTimes]
• Just in case you were wondering, Tilda Swinton is not having threesomes with John Byrne, the father of her children, and current boyfriend Sandro Kopp. "I've been painted as a benign eccentric who's living there while some guy's shagging his sweetheart," Byrne says, "Why would I do that?" [PageSix]
• Angela Lansbury will return to Broadway to play Catherine Zeta-Jones' mother in a revival of A Little Night Music. [DailyExpress]
• Jon Gosselin has been spending his weekends partying it up at Foxwoods Casino with his girlfriend, Hailey Glassman. He shall leave no cliches unturned, my friends. [PageSix]
• Blind Item: "This very large, former A list television actor and now movie actor got his nickname Flash because he likes nothing more than to wear boxers around the set and makes sure his fly always stays open." [BlindGossip]
• "Hollywood is just like high school: The popular people love the other popular people. And the thing is, some people aren't nice. Or they are nice, but only to your face, not elsewhere."- Amanda Seyfried [DailyMail]
• Usher claims to own 10,000 pairs of shoes. [TheSun]
• Britain's Radio 1 has "snubbed" Madonna by refusing to play her new single, Celebration. [TheSun]
• Mark Wahlberg is reportedly concerned about co-star Christian Bale, who may be risking his health in an effort to lose weight for his role as a drug addict in the upcoming film The Fighter. "Christian is a method actor. If a role calls for him to look like a drug dealer, or he has to play someone who hasn't slept in a year, he'll go without food to look the part," says a source, "But the danger comes after he takes off that weight, and then eats everything in sight to put it back on for the next role. That kind of yo-yo dieting can be deadly. Mark and Christian are friends, and Mark is concerned about him." Hopefully this doesn't mean they're done, professionally. [ONTD]
• Bryan Singer is set to remake the 1981 film Excalibur. [DailyExpress]
• According to Heidi Montag, her husband, Spencer Pratt thinks Angelina Jolie is "a home-wrecking hussy." [PopCrunch]
• Meanwhile, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are reportedly "grooming" their daughter, Shiloh to be an actress. [Celebitchy]
• Kristen Stewart will be playing a stripper in the upcoming film Welcome To The Rileys. [Star]
• A source on the set of Twilight flick Eclipse claims that Kristen and Robert Pattinson are "definitely a couple and very much in love. Neither of them is rushing into anything, they are just having a good time hanging out, but they plan to explore their relationship even more while they are filming." [ShowbizSpy]
• Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling is going on tour with his band, Dead Man's Bones, and "the opening act for the shows will be a talent show, organized by the band and featuring local talent in each city." I assume you guys will be at these shows holding up giant signs that read, "Hey Ryan- Eff it, let's get a taco." [JustJared]

• Surprise, surprise: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are a "complete nightmare" for the people working on the Miss Universe pageant in the Bahamas, where Heidi is supposed to perform on Sunday night. An insider says:

"Heidi has missed many rehearsals… Spencer tried to demand that the hotel pay him to lay by the pool." Dear Miss Universe People: You have no one to blame but yourselves. [Page Six]

• BREAKING: Courtney Love caught in bed with a turtle. [The Sun]
• Renée Zellweger dared to attend a movie premiere without Bradley Cooper; he took his parents and not Renée to Alyssa Milano's wedding. Scandalous. [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin visited kids with cancer at an NYC hospital on Tuesday, possibly in an attempt to rehabilitate his image? [Us]
• Authorities now suspect that reality show "star" Ryan Alexander Jenkins — suspected of killing his wife, Jasmine Fiore — crossed over the Canadian border on foot after driving his SUV to Blaine, Washington. [TMZ]
• Save the date: September 14. Whitney Houston will give her first full-length interview in almost seven years to… Oprah. Of course. As you may recall, in 2002, Whitney sat down with Diane Sawyer, and memorably declared: "Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack." [Mirror, NY Daily News]
• Venus and Serena Williams are in talks to become part owners in the Miami Dolphins. [AP]
• Magician David Copperfield has been sued for sexual assault. The woman is a 22-year-old fashion model and alleges that the incident happened when she was a guest on his private island in the Bahamas in 2007. She says he attacked and sexually assaulted her, threatening to kill her if she didn't go along. [TMZ]
• Jay Leno's new show will spotlight new young comedians. "I hope people become famous and get offered shows." But he won't just have "a bunch of white guys doing standup" — he plans to have a "diverse group," including women, African-Americans and other minorities. [AP]
• Will Paula Abdul return to American Idol? Focus groups may make that decision. "Fox loves focus groups," an insider says. "If Paula consistently scores far higher than any other person in her chair, they will feel compelled to make her an offer she can't refuse and make this deal happen." Another source says: "There will be four judges at American Idol come January. And that fourth judge will be Paula Abdul." [MSNBC]
• Paula Abdul's manager says that there have been "no discussions whatsoever about Idol." [LA Times]
• Amy Winehouse went out to dinner and then for drinks and the paparazzi took snaps of her a little tipsy on her way home and zoomed in on her nose and claim there's a "mystery substance" up her nose but honestly you can't see a damn thing. [Daily Mail]
• "Got Line Flu Amy?" [The Sun]
• "Oprah Winfrey and her favorite physician, "Dr. Oz," filed suit yesterday to shut down more than 500 Web sites that falsely claim the pair endorses the sites' diet pills and miracle cures." [NY Post]
• Russell Brand wears a top hat, dances in the streets and sings the lyrics "sexual rewards" in this new MTV VMA promo. [ONTD]
• Expect to see heavy cross-promotion between Project Runway and Harvey Weinstein-produced flick Nine. [Page Six]
• Pauly Shore pulled a Christian Bale and had an on-set meltdown while filming Brand Dead. Seems fake, but you be the judge. [TMZ, TMZ]
• A source says Jennifer Hudson thinks of her newborn child as a gift from beyond after her family was murdered: "She wasn't trying to get pregnant… She believes her mother played a part in sending this gift from God. She tells everyone her mother sent this baby to pull her through this." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Eva Longoria will star in a Mexican film about kidnapping, which means she will be in a Spanish-speaking role for the first time. [AP]
• Figure skater Brian Boitano is now a TV chef, with his Food Network show, What Would Brian Boitano Make? premiering Sunday. Turns out the Oylmpic gold medalist is a foodie, and the Food Network's VP of programming says his passion and command of cooking is "one of the biggest, happiest surprises I've gotten in my career." [LA Times]
• As mentioned yesterday, Leona Lewis tracks have been leaked onto the Internet. One was a song produced by Justin Timberlake. A police investigation is ongoing. [Daily Mail]
• Pete Doherty is planning on getting the Libertines back together, even if Carl "Biggles" Barat doesn't want to join. "If Biggles doesn't want to do it or gets cold feet or he thinks I'm still a crackhead, what am I going to do? Maybe I could reform the Libertines without him, like he did without me. I wouldn't really want to, but you've got to pay the bills. I'll put an advert in the NME: 'Carlos lookalike required.'" [Independent]
• District 9 sequel? Maybe. It's already being referred to as District 10. [NY Daily News]
• Nora Jones is about to release her first album in three years; this column claims she has a new look and a new sound. (Cute hair!) [USA Today]
• Phil Spector has been writing letters from prison: He fears for his safety, enjoys visits from his wife and would like to be moved to "a better prison." [USA Today]
• "I loved New York, even back then (1980s graffiti-scarred, pre-Giuliani New York). It was such an overwhelming animal. I loved the energy and attitude of the place. It's great for being productive and creative." —Eric Bana, who's on the cover of Men's Health. [Just Jared]
• "It's a lot of material to fill. It is a lot of jokes. This is lot more work. A lot more work. You're doing probably three shows worth of comedy every night. On The Tonight Show we had maybe two talking guests and a band. That's not a lot of work for me. But this will be a lot more work." — Jay Leno on his new show. [Reuters]
• "I remember sensing that my mother was holding something back from me. I used to think I had done something wrong because she could be so distant. I knew there was something going on that I didn't know about and because I was a child I thought it was my fault. It took me years to work out that she had actually been protecting me from racism… There were comments and my mother kept all that away from us and to do that she had be a barrier between us and them." — Thandie Newton, who says she and her brother were the only mixed-race kids in their area when growing up. [Daily Express]
• "Before I played Ari Gold, I was in probably 40 movies and playing a lot of very soft-spoken characters, also-rans, best friends and whatnot. That was all easily forgotten as soon as I put Ari's power suit on." — Jeremy Piven. [Time]
• "[The culture here] isn't based on anything other than ‘Who got a boob job?' That's what I feel L.A. is about. A lot of people here want to be everyone but themselves." — Mila Kunis. [Just Jared]
• "Oh my God! I was on the set of Two and a Half Men when I heard. I had all these texts, and at first I thought it was a hoax. What struck me was I hadn't seen him in years, and when I think about it, I really owe an enormous amount of my career to him. And it made me sad because it made me realize that you've really got to let people know it when you're grateful to them. They won't always be here and I regret that I didn't do that. But I have very fond memories. He was a lovely guy and knew exactly what he wanted. He'll be greatly missed." — Jon Cryer on the death of John Hughes. [Reuters]
• "I was talking to my friend about [whether monogamy] is feasible, is it realistic? I resolved that there isn't really a better model. We just can't shake monogamy. It definitely demands a kind of rigor and discipline and selflessness. But it's also fun." — Claire Danes, to BlackBook. [Page Six]
• "I like clever folks. I like people who are concerned with [what] the path they leave behind them looks like… Empathy, humor, wit, self reliance and honesty. [Being attractive] doesn't hurt." —Renée Zellweger, on what she looks for in a man. [People]

• Robin Wright Penn has filed for divorce from Sean Penn due to "irreconcilable differences." They've already drawn up divorce papers twice before and announced their reconciliation in May.

• The papers say they've agreed to a division of their property and shared custody of their 16-year-old son (their 18-year-old daughter is starting college). [People]
• During her E! interview last night Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman said of Kate Gosselin, "I think she's a great mother, but she's definitely going for the sympathy card." She added, "TLC didn't allow [Jon and Kate] to come out and say their marriage was over a year ago." [Radar Online]
• In her segment on the E! special, Kate Major said of Jon, "I would be lying if I said there wasn't instant chemistry between us." As for their current relationship status she says, "Right now, there is no happily ever after," However, "[I was] really, really impressed-and I still am-with the person that he is." [E!]
• Kari Anne Peniche, the other girl involved in the Eric Dane/Rebecca Gayheart nude tape, says that her former roommate, singer Mindy McCready, found the video on her hard drive. Peniche says McCready stole the hard drive when she moved out of their apartment and that the trio won the rights to the video and are threatening to sue anyone who posts it on the internet. [TMZ, N.Y. Post]
• Kari Ann Peniche's rep says she's "extremely upset over this situation. She considers Eric and Rebecca dear friends and this is an unfortunate incident where consenting adults who were having a little a fun are now victims of having personal property stolen and private matters made public." Peniche, who is a former Miss United States Teen, appears in the upcoming season of Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew. [Entertainment Tonight]
• So You Think You Can Dance choreographer Alex Da Silva has been arrested on eight felony counts of assault, including four counts of forcible rape. The D.A. says there are four victims who were all dangers in Da Silva's classes. [TMZ]
• In this video, Dr. Conrad Murray thanks his patients and friends for their support. He says he recorded a video thank you because he's afraid to return phone calls and emails "because of all that is going on." [TMZ]
• This morning on Today Ann Curry suggested Brad Pitt should make a more kid-friendly movie than Inglorious Basterds. He said he's voicing a "superhero who wants out" in the movie Oobermind with Tina Fey. "It's just something [the kids will] enjoy," he said, "and that's cool." [People]
• Quentin Tarantino says of Inglourious Basterds, "Oh, I know it's going to do fantastic in Germany. People have the wrong idea of Germany. You have to remember that with the possible exception of Jews, the people that have the biggest bringing-down-the–Third Reich fantasies are the last two generations of the Germans." [N.Y. Magazine]
• New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg says 50 Cent is no planning to perform in his old neighborhood in Queens. Earlier reports claimed city police were preparing for a 50 Cent concert on August 30. [UPI]
• An insider on the set of The Fighter says that for his role as a crack addict Christian Bale "has lost almost as much weight as he did for The Machinist. He is so gaunt... They have even thinned his hair-he just looks sickly." [E!]
• Nicole Kidman will appear on the special Project Runway: All Star Challenge on Thursday. [People]
• The ruling in Slash's lawsuit against a Sotheby's real estate agent has been delayed for a month because the judge says he needs more time to decide if the real estate agent misrepresented the a property Slash bought in 2006. [Daily Express]
• Joan Rivers is dating Norm Zada, founder of the adult magazine Perfect 10, which is dedicated to "the world's most beautiful natural women." [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony hosted a dinner last night in their Long Island home in honor of Sonia Sotomayor. [Gossip Cop]
• Sony's new ad campaign features celebrity "experts" including Peyton Manning, Justin Timberlake, and Amy Sedaris, giving customers advice on which electronics they should buy. [Brand Week]
• Now that Survivor winner Richard Hatch has been released to house arrest after being imprisoned for failing to pay taxes, he's claiming that he was only sent to jail because he's gay. The prosecutors say that's "delusional." [AP]
• Johnny Knoxville has been, "telling people that his girlfriend, Naomi [Nelson], is three months pregnant," says an insider. "He's excited - and a little nervous." [Just Jared]
• 19-year-old Mike Byrne has been chosen to replace drummer Jimmy Chamberlin in The Smashing Pumpkins after more than 1,000 drummers responded to an open call. [AP]
• The first single of Mariah Carey's new CD will be a "gospel-tinged version" of Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is." [ONTD]
• The Pussycat Dolls are canceling the first three dates of their tour with the Black Eyed Peas because Nicole Scherzinger has an ear infection. [All Business]
• Britney Spears will read David Letterman's Top 10 List tonight. [People]
• Shanna Moakler has agreed to let Travis Barker take their two kids on the road with him, but the custody papers say he has to arrange a vacation for her and the kids to Rhode Island at the end of the month. The papers also say the kids can't get near someone named Richard Sinnott "at any time whatsoever." [TMZ]
• A group of Russian gangsters are supposedly planning to kidnap Katie Price so she's taking her cage-fighter boyfriend Alex Reid with her to Spain. "The kidnap threat is a real worry and Kate feels much safer when Alex is around. He is a muscular man and a trained fighter who can watch her back at all times," says a source. "Kate's a tough woman but this is bound to really frighten her and convince her to take her boyfriend along for support. She will definitely feel much better having him on hand to double up as a bodyguard and scare off the mobsters." [Daily Star]
• In the clip at the link, a man takes parenting advice from Ryan O'Neal, who as you'll recall hit on his daughter, shot at one son, but bonded with the other while they were serving time for meth possession. [E!]
• A judge has ruled that Paris Hilton may have to pay back some of the $1 million she was paid to be in Pledge This!, but not the $8 million she's being sued for because it's not her fault it flopped. [AP]
• Mila Kunis says of Macaulay Culkin, her boyfriend of seven years, "I don't know if I met him at 27 if it would have been a different relationship... We grew up together. You find a steady rock in your life and that's all you need. We have our ups and downs, but work through them." [People]
• Joy Behar says of her new talk show The Joy Behar Show, "We're not going to cover depressing news. Well, we might, if someone interesting dies or something. You know, I'm following Nancy Grace, and she does a lot of crime stories, so maybe I'll pick up some of hers. She's interesting. The whole channel now - HLN - Headline News Network - is filled with divas. First is Jane Velez-Mitchell, then Nancy Grace, and then moi. The whole channel is like - how shall I say? - assertive women. It'll be fun." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Kourtney Kardashian says it was hard for her to tell her sister Kim Kardashian and mom Kris Jenner that she's pregnant. She explains, "Khloe and I called Kim on speakerphone, and I made Khloe tell her. I think Kim thought we were lying! Kim was excited, but I feel like her first reaction was like, 'Why? What are you doing?' It was really just shock. Especially since we are so extremely close, anything that happens in our family is earth-shattering to us. But she was excited. She just wanted to make sure that I had thought this through." She told her 12 and 13-year-old half-sisters in person, and now one of them calls her "fatty" every time she sees her. [People]

• Lindsay Lohan turns 23 tomorrow, but she's allegedly already been paid $70,000 by the MGM Grand for hosting an all-day "pre-celebration" in Las Vegas last Saturday.

Even though LL changed bathing suits five times and promoted her Sevin Nyne tanning product, a source says: "None of her really close friends were there" and LL just did it for the cash. [Page Six]

• Meghan McCain thinks Hilary Duff would be a great choice to play her in a movie: "I think she's really hot - hotter than me - but I'd still want her to play me." [Gatecrasher]
• Even though Mariah Carey was supposedly dressed like Eminem for her "Obsessed" video, she looks more like that dude from Linkin Park, no? [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum: Expecting a girl? There were pink cupcakes at her baby shower! [Gatecrasher]
• "A close Michael Jackson confidant tells The Daily Beast's Gerald Posner he believes the star triggered his death with a foolhardy plan to void a concert commitment: mixing pills to prompt a minor hospital visit." "Like a child who doesn't want to go to school, Michael thought he could get away from his obligations if he had a 'note from the doctor.'" [The Daily Beast]
• A registered nurse named Cherilyn Lee has stated that Michael Jackson was an insomniac who begged for strong sedative drugs to induce sleep. [AP, AP]
• TMZ says: "We're told the drug Propofol was discovered at the [Jackson] residence. The drug is used to put people under anesthesia before surgery. It is an extremely powerful drug that is only available to medical personnel. As one source said, 'There is no conceivable way this drug can be properly prescribed for home use.'" [TMZ]
• If Neverland becomes a memorial site, don't go looking for Michael Jackson's animals — they won't be coming back. [TMZ]
• The man who kept Neverland from being auctioned says: "We must be prepared for the fact that visitors and fans will come, with or without permission or an invitation." [Yahoo via E!]
• A concrete truck arrived at Neverland yesterday. Preparations for the memorial? [TMZ]
• "Ukrainians Want Village Named After Michael Jackson." [Breitbart]
• "There is nobody who knew Michael like I did… For instance, people always think of him as talking in that high, soft voice, but he didn't really speak like that - it was a facade. Still to this day I am not sure why he did it. The Michael I knew talked like a real man, acted like a real man and shook a hand like a real man." — David Gest, an authority on manliness. [The Sun]
• Here, Quincy Jones talks about the music he and Michael Jackson made together. [WSJ]
• In his last "interview," — which seems to be just chatter from the Staples center — Michael Jackson was rehearsing and said: "This is where I belong. I am so excited. We need a bit more work on a few more songs but we're so nearly there. This is what it's all about. Me being on stage." [Mirror]
• The Iowa State Fair is planning a butter sculpture of Michael Jackson. [MSNBC]
• Video. From Dolly Parton. Mourning Michael Jackson, whom she says had "the heart of an angel." [EW]
• "Joe Jackson Still Has Power To Upset Family" Duh. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Photographer Kevin Mazur took pictures of Michael Jackson's rehearsal at the Staples Center. He says: "Michael was physically fit and performing the same way that I photographed him through the years. You can look at the photos. I documented it, I was there." He says he was shocked to find out Jackson had died a few days later, because: "He was full of energy and full of life."[BBC News]
• More on this in Midweek Madness, but the Michael Jackson shot OK! is using on their cover this week is being called "ghoulish" and a "disgrace." [Page Six]
• Michael Jackson's will: Filed today. [TMZ]
• 200 friends, colleagues and family members — including jailed son Redmond O'Neal, Ryan O'Neal, Alana Stewart, Lee Majors, Ernie Hudson, Cheryl Tiegs, Jackie Collins, Joan Collins, Gary Shandling, Marla Maples and hairstylist Jose Eber attended the funeral of Farrah Fawcett. [E!, CNN]
• Alana Stewart delivered a eulogy for Farrah Fawcett, saying:
  "Goodbye sweet girl… [Farrah] never felt sorry for herself during her illness ... she fought cancer furiously. She's the most beautiful angel in heaven. She always seemed so indestructible." [People]
• Forbes has released it's "Hollywood's Top-Earning Actresses List" and Angelina Jolie is number one, with poor lonely desperate single Jennifer Aniston as number 2. Meryl Streep is third. But! There's a gender pay gap! "All told, the top 10 actors earned $393 million, compared with $183 million for the top 10 actresses." [Forbes]
• "Sacha Baron Cohen Attempts To Appease Gay Community By Posing For Attitude Magazine." Nude, of course. [Daily Mail]
• Life & Style magazine asked Robert Pattinson's aunt if he should date Kristen Stewart. She replied: "I don't think it would be a good idea for Robert to be in a serious relationship with Kristen. How can he live his life with a fellow star, with their every move being watched just like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes?" Thank you. Very helpful. [Daily Express]
• Robert Pattinson was seen hanging out with a pack of guys and going un recognized by wearing a baseball cap. [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle will not appear on Ugly Betty, even though that's what we heard. [ONTD]
• The Beckhams have their 10-year wedding anniversary coming up! David will whisk Victoria away on a "surprise" trip to Richard Branson's private island in the Caribbean. Although is it a surprise if it's in The Sun? [WWD]
• From a Q&A with True Blood's Anna Paquin: You and Stephen [Moyer] are in a relationship off-camera as well. The passion you have on the show is palpable — did it transition from on-screen to off-screen or vise-versa?: "We met at his screen test when they were doing, essentially, a chemistry read to make sure the Sookie they had cast was going to click with the Bill they wanted to cast, and shockingly enough we ended up liking each other. But, it kind of all happened at the same time — it's kind of hard to say which came first because when you click with someone and you have that sort of – vibe — that's just how we've always been around each other. Nothing's really changed except we live together now." Was your first kiss then on-screen or off-screen?: "Ha. I'm not telling you that." [Out]
• Usher's wife was surprised by the divorce filing and "had every reason to believe her marriage was intact." Uh-oh. [USA Today]
• Uh-oh, this item snarks on Stacy London's outfit. Not cool. [Page Six]
• Kerry Washington is looking for a "cheap" furnished apartment in Manhattan, which means $3,000 a month. Can it be done? [Page Six]
• Cute! Christina Applegate will play Drew Barrymore's big sister in Going The Distance, a rom com about a long-distance relationship — which also stars Drew's maybe-boyfriend Justin Long. [E!]
• A street corner in Queens, NYC will be named for Run-DMC. Slay all suckers who perpetrate and lay down law from state to state. [NY Times]
• "I wish to not talk unless we're doing the scene. I enjoy it that way. Johnny seemed happy to do it that way, too. So the answer is: No, we really didn't get to know each other better between each take. So I guess I'll have to wait and get to know Johnny Depp someday." — Christian Bale, on Public Enemies. [Chicago Sun-Times]
• "I prefer to walk away with the experience as opposed to walking away with the product… I like to portray a character, inhabit a character and build character, but I don't want to watch the end result necessarily, because it becomes about money then and I'd rather not think about that. My children have seen more films of mine than I have. They've seen all of them within reason - many more than I have. I have no plans to see them - any of them." — Johnny Depp. [BBC News]
• "It is deff. in my top 3 favorite books of all time! :) so disturbing but beautifully written." — Miley Cyrus, on Identical, in which twin sisters escape troubled lives — one by sex and drugs, the other by bingeing and cutting herself. [Page Six]
• "The script kept changing and evolving to the point where I was no longer appropriate for it. Cate's 10 years older than me, which is more suitable for the script. If they'd recast with Keira Knightley I'd have been heartbroken but they've gone for something different – and better in my opinion. If I had the choice between Cate Blanchett and me I'd go for Cate Blanchett." — Sienna Miller, on not being Maid Marian in Robin Hood. [Daily Express]

[Image via Lindsay Lohan's Twitter]

• Here's the first picture of Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick with their new twins, Marion and Tabitha Broderick. Big brother James, are you ready for double trouble? [TMZ]

• Britney Spears has dark hair and something that looks like an engagement ring. What does it mean??? [NY Daily News]
• Uh-oh: Us Weekly dropped $120,000 for exclusive rights to Kendra Wilkinson's wedding, but the death of Michael Jackson will push her bridal bliss off the cover. [Page Six]
• Will Michael Jackson's body be put on display in a coffin of glass, like Eva Peron? [The Sun]
• Michael Jackson's mother has been granted temporary guardianship of his three kids. [LA Times]
• According to a source, Michael Jackson almost died once before — in 2004 — he was unconscious and had to be revived. [Fox News]
• Michael Jackson's doctor didn't call 911 for a half hour after finding MJ unconscious. [TMZ]
• The LAPD is trying to identify and interview "multiple doctors" who treated or prescribed medicine to Michael Jackson. [LA Times]
• Michael Jackson's mother Katherine is worried about people stealing from MJ's estate. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe has been reaching out to the Jackson family, but has been unsuccessful. [People]
• A will drafted by Michael Jackson in 2002 may be released this week. [WSJ]
• "Michael Jackson's Last Art Purchase." A wicked witch painting. [TMZ]
• "Michael Jackson was spending £30,000 a month on prescription drugs," says this paper, which lied to us yesterday. [The Sun]
• "Michael Jackson's Death: Sorting Fact From Fiction." A run down of all the claims and contradictions. [NY Daily News]
• Two weeks before he died, Michael Jackson completed a video project; his last. [AP]
• Expect some "instant" Michael Jackson books — some due by the end of the week, one coming in July. [AP]
• Michael Jackson's "This Is It" tour is being transformed into a tribute concert in September, and Madonna may take part. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Here is Lindsay Lohan posing like Michael Jackson. [NY Daily News]
• Ladies and gentlemen, a statement from Jon and Kate Gosselin: "During this very difficult time we will be working to focus solely on the needs of our family. This includes no longer commenting publicly or reacting to media stories and speculation. Our goal is to do the very best for our children and that will be done as privately as possible. We appreciate the understanding, support and well wishes from so many. Thank you." [TLC]
• Chris Brown was not at the BET Awards because Al Sharpton and Jay-Z were "very vocal" with producers about not letting him appear. [Gatecrasher]
• A source says: "Jay-Z wasn't having it. He threatened to pull out of the show if Chris was involved, so BET dropped Chris." [Page Six]
• Chris Brown's friend Teairra Mari says: "He's sorry. That's my friend, and I love Chris. He's a good kid-he just made a mistake. He knows that and feels terrible about it." [E!]
• Justin Timberlake went out boozing with Guy Ritchie, and guess which one went home at 2:30am and which one stayed in the pub? Guy was in it til the bitter end. [The Sun]
• How is the filming of The Runaways going? Well, Joan Jett made Kristen Stewart cry. So. [Gatecrasher]
• Some GQ Brüno pictures in which the character is posing with a high school football team have infuriated a school official in L.A., who says: "We've allowed our students to be used, and not in the most glamorous circumstances either." [UPI]
• Susan Boyle on Ugly Betty? Why, yes. [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse has been banned from taking in any more stray dogs after resort management had to fumigate her house in St. Lucia. [The Sun]
• George Clooney is not dead. Why are there so many death pranks? That shit is not funny. [TMZ]
• Kate Moss's boyfriend Jamie Hince is getting tired of Kate's lengthy karaoke sessions and is limiting her to half an hour a day. [The Sun]
• Lady GaGa visited an HIV Support Centre in Manchester, UK yesterday, and said: "I've been doing volunteer work since I was two." She also said: "I want to make it fashionable to have safe sex. You must be safe. You can have sex with hundreds of people with a condom on and get nothing. If you have sex without one, then you could get all sorts of problems." To which this paper asks, "Speaking from experience?" [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher is Tweeting for the White House. No, really. [Politico]
• Kathy Griffin on NPR! "NPR listeners, I know who you are. I know you guys read books, which I find tedious. You guys might try a book called Us Weekly. OK? It's a really good book. It has a lot of pictures." [NPR]
• Megan Fox spent the weekend in Las Vegas with Brian Austin Green. Back together? [E!]
• Someone threw a drink on Anna Kournikova at a club in Vegas and the tennis player "sprang into action," showing and screaming at the lady. [Page Six]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur continues to blog about her "weight loss journey." She writes: "I downloaded the video of Beyoncé's 'Single Ladies' and started to learn her dance. Let me tell you, if I ever did that dance in a club I would still be a single lady!!! But what a workout! It was free and fun and it kept my son very entertained – it was like a real-life Muppet danced out of his TV and into the living room. It kept him and, sadly, my husband very amused for almost an hour." [People]
• "Hollywood stars Antonio Banderas And Melanie Griffiths' Garden Seized As Spain Cracks Down On Illegal Coastal Homes." They'll lose their 40 foot swimming pool! [Daily Mail]
• Is Antonia Kidman — sister of Nicole and TV personality in Australia — addicted to exercise? [News.com.au]
• Redmond O'Neal with be allowed to leave jail to attend his mother Farrah Fawcett's funeral. [People]
• Law And Order: SVU fans, take note: Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay have finally signed on to stay for two more seasons. [Variety]
• Amy Adams is in negotiations to star alongside Christian Bale and Mark Wahlberg in boxing drama The Fighter. [Variety]
• Some kind of drama involving Kanye West's bisexual girlfriend Amber Rose and a singer named Nicki Minaj, who Amber hit on? [ONTD]
• Here's a Q&A with Wilco's Jeff Tweedy, who says: "We did get word that whoever's in charge of loading [Barack Obama's] iPod requested the record and we got the record in." [Time]
• Best wishes to 92-year-old Zsa Zsa Gabor, who is out of the hospital after a 6-day stay for flu-like symptoms. [AP]
• The Nutty Professor is coming to Broadway, and Jerry Lewis will direct. [AP]
• Whatshername and Whatshisname: fighting in public. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which former boy bander looked oh-so-strung-out over the weekend? His diet of booze and nose candy certainly isn't helping his skin-and-bones appearance." [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't watch TV comedy in the UK anymore. We've got some poor copies of Curb Your Enthusiasm, some poor copies of Entourage and some poor copies of Seinfeld. With a few exceptions the Americans seem to be ahead of the game." — Ricky Gervais. [The Sun]
• "I pointed to a spot where I told him I wanted to be buried. Michael had a meltdown right then and there when he heard this. He shrieked and bent over and said, 'No, no, no.' [He said,] 'Don't ever talk about your dying. Don't ever think about it.' I couldn't pretend to understand him. There were so many complicated signals. Did he want me to be his 'older woman' friend? He gravitated to older women. For solace? Succor? A beard? Did he want me to teach him the ropes? I never could quite figure it out." — Jane Fonda, on her relationship with Michael Jackson. [E!]
• "I wish I could say that I was inspired by him for a role, I was inspired by him because I think he was a great artist but he was not the inspiration for Willy Wonka contrary to what most people say. No no no, I never ever thought of playing Michael Jackson in a film, I think if anyone should play Michael Jackson in a film it should've been Michael Jackson. A mother and a father have lost a son, siblings have lost a brother and millions of people around the world have lost someone they love. Children have lost a father so it's obviously a very sad, sad moment." — Johnny Depp. [The Star]
• "At the moment I feel like I need to go away and figure out what I want to do and be myself for a bit. I just want to take a step back from it and not rush into stuff. I need university to give me that break. People think because I'm going to university I'm never going to act again, but it's actually me… I want to… figure out how I feel about everything first. Maybe I'll keep acting, maybe I won't. I just want to find something where I feel I have to do this. Maybe that'll happen when I read a script. It felt like that with Hermione. I want to feel like that again." — Emma Watson, who will attend Columbia University in the fall. [Elle UK, NY Daily News]

Death, Taxes, Cotilllard: Marion Cotillard has that kind of chic that actually brings one pleasure to observe it - she pulls everything off with such confidence, even things I normally in themselves could take or leave.


Off-Subject: Does anyone wear red lipstick better than Rosario Dawson? Love the dress, not my fave on her, not that anyone asked.


Sullen with envy over Carey Mulligan's perfect LBD, darling pixie.


Do We Look Like We're About to Go Into a Rant? Christian Bale and Sibi Blazic play it conservative; can't really blame 'em. I kid! She looks very elegant.


Love - love! -Branka Katic's power shoulders. Betcha she's wearing Opium!


Kind of Woman: You know what? Leelee Sobieski can actually pull off Belladonna-era Stevie.


Ascot Gavotte: If VH1 did a remake of My Fair Lady, the iconic Cecil Beaton Ascot dress would probably look exactly like Catt Sadler's. Except they'd be at some kind of secret high-stakes casino, of the kind that only seems to exist on Gossip Girl.


Tiers For Fears: We've seen this before - not that there's anything wrong with that, indeed I like seeing stars wear the same gown like normal people - and know that it takes height like Sabrina Morris' to avoid the wedding cake effect.


What Say You about Amber Heard's square yard of fabric?


Images via Getty

• Kate Winslet tells Allure that when filming The Reader, she had to regrow her pubic hair:

"Because of years of waxing, as all of us girls know, it doesn't come back quite the way it used to. They even made me a merkin (wig) because they were so concerned that I might not be able to grow enough." [MSNBC Scoop]

• Jon Gosselin speaks! He's on the cover of People, saying, "Eight Enough Is Enough!" [People]
• Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez: It's getting serious. How do we know this? A source says: "He introduced her to a bunch of his friends." [People]
• In case you were wondering what Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou named their baby boy, it's Kenzo. Kenzo Lee Hounsou. Has a nice ring to it. [Page Six]
• Uh-oh: Stevie Wonder's son busted for domestic violence? Love's in need of love today. [TMZ]
• Steve Dennis has penned a book titled Britney: Inside The Dream and writes about the pop star shaving her head: "The head-shaving had little do with self-loathing, more a loathing against the public persona that had defined her until then. What few people knew was that Britney was rowing with her mom, Lynne, who seemed to be incessantly reminding her of her motherly duties and responsibilities… The head-shaving moment was the culmination of an escalating rebellion, heightened by heartbreak over her divorce and custody battle, that can be traced back to 2004 when Britney decided she no longer wished to conform, be controlled or take instruction." [The Sun]
• Lindsay Lohan is in London, and her hotel is right down the street from Samantha Ronson's hotel. What a coincidence! Anyway, LL's Twitter said: "Missing a certain someone after a massage and chicken noodle soup... U (she) knows. Cuddle time soon I hope - fly safe." [Daily Mail]
• This was in Midweek Madness three weeks ago, but here it is again: Rihanna has "less than flattering" nude pix of Chris Brown. And plans to leak them. [World Of Wonder]
• Whoops! Melissa Joan Hart was overheard last week saying she hoped Farrah Fawcett wouldn't die — cuz then MJH would get bumped off the cover of People. [Page Six]
• A woman is claiming she was attacked and left "crippled" by Sacha Baron Cohen (as Bruno) at a Bingo hall in 2007. [TMZ]
• This paper is restrained and not at all sensationalist when it prints the words: "CANCER-stricken MICHAEL JACKSON is shunning food and now weighs less than nine stone (126 lbs.)" [The Sun]
• Leonardo DiCaprio got carded at some bar in NYC. Guess they didn't hear he's king of the world? [Page Six]
• Taylor Lautner, who gets all werewolfy in Twilight sequel New Moon, says the flick is heartbreaking: "There is heart break and, oh it's horrible. New Moon will rip your heart to shreds. So get ready!" [Mirror]
• Is Audrina Patridge dating Star Trek's Chris Pine? And does that mean their relationship will be on her new reality show? "There's always romance, she says. "We haven't started filming it yet, but it will be mostly my life. I'm really opening up in everything that I have going on in my life right now-everything." [E!]
• LOL: NBC wants to replace Heidi and Spencer on I'm A Celebrity with someone else from The Hills, but Audrina's manager said: "Not in a million years. Audrina is moving in a completely different direction than those two ... she's a star." Again: LOL! [TMZ]
• Slumdog Millionaire director Danny Boyle may return to work in Mumbai; he has purchased the rights to another book set in the poorest section of the city. [Times of London]
• Paul McCartney will play the first concerts at Citi Field, "inaugurating" the Shea Stadium replacement. He says: "As years go by, I think, 'This is when I thought I'd retire,' but I'm having too much fun. When you say to me 'Citi Field,' I go oooh inside. I'm hungry for that. If you like cheesecake, it doesn't matter how many you've had. You're still going to have the next one with relish." [USA Today, USA Today]
• Eminem had thousands of dollars worth of items stolen from his L.A. hotel room on Sunday night, including a $60K diamond necklace and his personal laptop. Hmm, it's not like he has any enemies… [Gatecrasher]
• If you'd like to relive some of Eminem's most controversial moments, by all means, check out this slide show. [CNN]
• Maya Rudolph, who plays a thirtysomething, six-months-pregnant woman in Away We Go — and is now expecting her second child — says the movie deals with the way people treat expectant women: "It's about people's feeling of wanting to be connected. It just doesn't come out the way it's supposed to: 'Oh, God, you're huge.' I think the last person who wants to hear they're huge is a pregnant lady." [USA Today]
• Susan Boyle could need weeks of psychiatric care. [Daily Mail]
• "Susan Boyle is to Britain's Got Talent what the kids of Slumdog Millionaire are to director Danny Boyle. In both cases, a machine bigger than any one person got these unknowns into the mess that comes with worldwide fame. Wouldn't it seem wrong for Cowell (or Danny Boyle) to stand by as the dreams of the performers they discovered were beaten to a pulp and left on the side of the road to die?" [MSNBC Scoop]
• R. Kelly has a new track called "Tip The Waiter, which you can hear at the link. It's not about leaving cash for the server — it's about sex. Obviously. [NY Mag]
• Jude Law is playing Hamlet on the stage in London, and one of his costars — the skull he holds when he gives the "Alas, poor Yorick" speech — comes from Salt Lake City, Utah and dates back to 1800. [Telegraph]
• American Beauty's Wes Bentley is divorcing Jennifer Quanz, his wife of seven years. [TMZ]
  
• Sanaa Lathan, James Earl Jones and Phylicia Rashad will star in an all-black production of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, to be staged on London's West End. [Variety]
• Jack Nicholson is in talks to join the cast of an untitled romcom with Paul Rudd, Reese Witherspoon and Owen Wilson; Bill Murray had also been considered for the part. [Variety]
• DMX: Almost always in jail! Eight days after he was released, he pled guilty to another crime, so he may be headed back. [TMZ]
• "Trista Sutter Blogs About The Bachelorette: Foot Fetishes, Unicorns & the Closet?" [E!]
• Recently married former Bachelorette Jen Schefft to single ladies: "For all those people who are discouraged, you can meet the right person. Just don't settle." [People]
• Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos are producing a TLC series, Masters Of Reception, which focuses on a New Jersey family-owned catering business trying to top themselves each week. [Variety]
• Kelly Ripa's dad is being sworn in as Camden County clerk in New Jersey today. [AP]
• Phil Spector's wife, Rachelle, insists that he in innocent, and plans to stay with him even though he's in jail for shooting another woman. [UPI]
• "Peter Falk's dementia means he no longer remembers Columbo." [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which macho A-list actor was annoyed to find pressat a recent gala because he hadn't "put on [his] makeup yet'?" [Gatecrasher]
• "In a strange way, I don't have a job, so I have a lot of time on my hands. When I do work, it might be very concentrated, and it might be months where you're not really doing anything except maybe playing the banjo or writing something. You know, there's a lot of time in the day if you're not working 9 to 5. […] I use the Internet a lot to find music. I always download it legally — especially my own songs." — Steve Martin. [CNN]
• My most memorable scene? I have to say I'm still proudest of the stuff I did on "Fight Club," mainly the opening title sequence. It's a 95-second pullback through the brain. It starts inside a synapse inside the amygdala, the fear center of the brain. It goes through various structures, a forest of neurons and dendrites, passing through various outer layers, the surface of the brain, layers of skull, then skin and a hair follicle and out to the barrel of a gun, essentially following Ed Norton's character's thoughts." — Visual Effects Supervisor Kevin Mack. [LA Times]
• "Emma and I are creatively married. It's an extraordinary feeling when we work together. I don't think we – or, I'll speak for myself, I – have ever done anything closer to myself than the work I do with her. Marriage should be this easy! Right?" — Dustin Hoffman on Emma Thompson. [Telegraph]
• "This is a huge honour. I am both thrilled and slightly mystified, but very grateful." — Michael Sheen, who played Tony Blair in The Queen and just was made an officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE). [Daily Express]
• "When Obama's story is ready to be told I'll be too old to do it. And if it were made now, he has too much to do to have me asking for tips on how to play him." — Denzel Washington seems a little sad, no? [Daily Express]
• "I'm trying not to think of it as big or meaningful in any way. I find the whole celebration of approaching death a peculiar thing… I remember, I made a pact with some friends when we were 18 that we'd kill ourselves before we got to 40. It just seemed such a ludicrously distant prospect. I think I'd say that you'll never think you know more or feel more acutely or have any clearer an insight into existence than you do right now. From now on it's a gradually descending mist of confusion and doubt. I've never known less than I know now. You hope that your teenage self would like and forgive your 50-year-old self. It would be awful to think that they'd be ashamed and appalled – that you were a betrayal of everything they thought they'd become." — Hugh Laurie, who is on the verge of turning 50. [Telegraph]
• "Feminists don't have a sense of humor/They have a tumor on their funnybone." — from a song by Nellie McKay. [Page Six]
• "I don't think about that. That's beyond what I can control, and who the hell knows? I'm getting ready for another movie now." — Christian Bale doesn't want to talk about Terminator sequels. [Mirror]
• "The vampire is the ultimate bad boy. The vampire is the ultimate anti-everything. I haven't read Stephenie Meyer's books; the last encounter I had with the romantic vampire was with Anne Rice, and it was essentially 'beautiful people of the night.' But the line between attraction and horror is very, very thin. When you see footage of a polar bear walking in the snow, your heart melts. And then seconds later when you see the same polar bear mauling a baby seal, you can be horrified. And I don't see why these aspects of life cannot be reconciled." — Director Guillermo Del Toro, who has written a vamp book called The Strain. [Time]
• "I don't think I look particularly fantastic. I know you're not supposed to drink caffeine and I know you're not supposed to drink wine but I do both. I could be much thinner if I really worked at it. But there was a time when I was exercising a lot and then I realised that the person I was spending the most time with was my trainer. I thought: 'I don't have time to see my friends!"" — Julianne Moore. [Daily Express via Vogue]

• Chris Brown is being sued for assault and battery, but not by anyone you know:

The suit is being filed by Robert Rosen, who took a photo of Brown playing basketball at a gym in L.A. Rosen ran away when Brown's bodyguards noticed him; but fell down the stairs in his rush. Then, according to this report, one of the bodyguards "picked him up by his shorts and physically assaulted him, causing further injuries." [Radar Online]

• Chris Brown's lawyer, Mark Geragos, says: "This is a specious and frivolous lawsuit by one of the paparazzi seeking publicity and a payday. [Rosen] has done this before and lost. We will vigorously defend against this." [Radar Online, TMZ]
• Depeche Mode singer Dave Gahan has undergone surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from his bladder. Be well. [BBC News]
• RED ALERT! PRINCE HARRY ARRIVES IN NYC TOMORROW! GINGER CANDY FOR EVERYONE!!! [NY Daily News]
• Courtney Love "failed and refused to make payments" on her American Express cards, and the company's taking her to court, claiming she owes $352,059.67 in unpaid charges and fees. Ugh, they always get you on the fees! [E!]
• Hey, did you notice how Michael Lohan, who looooooves publicity, hid the fact that he was arrested in April for allegedly threatening to kill himself and his fiancée??? [MSNBC]
• Will you root for Michael Lohan in his "celebrity" boxing match against Johnny Fairplay? [TMZ]
• Director McG says the of the Christian Bale rant: "I'm to blame for the whole thing." Really? Do tell! "First and foremost it's my job to create a safe environment on the set at all times so that actors can explore any given emotion and always believe in the sanctity of the film… The fact it was leaked was inexcusable and I'm ashamed and embarrassed on behalf of Hollywood that that would happen. It's very unfortunate." He goes on to explain that he deliberately aggravated Bale so that his character would be more on edge: "I'm on the set getting in Christian's face… Now that's going to get him fired up in the spirit of creating a real life and death performance and that's never meant to get outside that arena… The truth is simply Christian's a good guy. Don't accuse him of being a bad guy because he's not. He loves his family, he has no entourage, he's an actor's actor and he operates from a place of passion. He'll be the first to admit, 'Wow, I flew off the handle,' but he was very much involved in what I was driving him to." [Telegraph]
• Lionel and Nicole Richie talked to CNN's Larry King in a joint interview which will air tonight. Larry asked Nicole if she's going to get married, and she said, "Eventually, yes… I think for both of us, we are going to do it because we want to, not because that's what you do." And! As a grandfather, Lionel is "very animated. He smiles like this all the time, and so he's nothing but fun for Harlow. She absolutely loves him." Larry asked Lionel if he wanted Nicole and Joel to get married, and Lionel said: "I want them to take their time. I'm more interested in whether they like each other and whether they're best friends. Because that means they'll be great parents forever." Wise man! [CNN]
• "'Jon & Kate Plus 8' madness: Why do viewers care about the Gosselins, anyway?" [NY Daily News]
• Kylie Minogue wedding rumors: Persistent. This paper says she's in Rome, among "engagement whispers." [Daily Mail]
• MSNBC Scoop's Courtney Hazlett says it should come as no surprise that voting blocs were part of the American Idol process; writing: "The bottom line is this: it was a group of organized [Kris] Allen fans who went to the trouble of getting AT&T to their viewing parties and Fox has a system in place to discard power votes." [MSNBC Scoop]
• After being with Def Jam for years — and being the CEO of that label — Jay-Z is close to signing a deal with Sony. [Reuters]
• Wait, this report says Jay-Z is in talks with Warner Music Group. [Gatecrasher]
• Eminem's album had the best first-week sales of 2009. Then again, it's been a crappy year for music. [Daily News]
• A journalist did something to upset or tease Susan Boyle, and she lost her temper in a hotel lobby. Details are sketchy. [Mirror]
• T.R. Knight will not be returning to Grey's Anatomy next season, according to sources; apparently he has been frustrated by his character's lack of storyline. [E!]
• Kelly Ripa's lawyers have sent cease and desist letters to some internet weight loss product which uses Ripa's face in its ads. [TMZ]
• Emily Blunt will be honored as British Artist of the Year at the 2009 BAFTA/LA Brittania Awards on Nov. 5. Her upcoming films include The Young Victoria and The Wolfman, with my übercrush Benicio Del Toro. Congrats! [The Hollywood Reporter]
• The Sydney Theater Company, run by Cate Blanchett and husband Andrew Upton, is experiencing a cash crisis. [Jill Zarin tried to get on Inside The Actors Studio, and James Lipton had to tell her it was for ACTORS. [Gatecrasher]
• If you would like to see a video of Kristin Cavallari "making an entrance" at Spencer and Heidi's wedding, by all means, click the link. Warning: it looks staged as all hell. [Perez]
• Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford may be hooking up with Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Esti Ginzburg. [Page Six]
• Chace Crawford on being in Footloose, the movie based on the musical based on the movie, which Zac Efron was supposed to star in: "I know Zac and we're actually friends. He's gotta make the best choice for his career at this point and I have to make the best for mine and luckily it worked out for both of us." Chace also says: "I don't know if the gymnastics [high bar] scene is going to make it. I've got some movement in me, but I'm not a dancer… I need to start stretching now." [EW]
• Tom Cruise has a job! He'll star in action comedy Wichita, with Cameron Diaz as a costar. The gist: Cruise will play a secret agent who pops in and out of the life of a single woman. Do you think they will make out? [Variety]
• "Barbra Streisand has finished building her dream house and started to think about her life." [AP]
• Do you care about Katie "Jordan" Price? Do you care about her ex-boyfriend, former boy band singer Dane Bowers? He was arrested on suspicion of drink driving after a car crash.[Independent]
• The Little Britain guys are going after Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow; David Walliams told an interviewer that in order to sort out the "important issues" of the world he had to dress like a star from Les Miserables musical and call his first born child after a piece of fruit. [The Sun]
• Something about this picture of Kelis pregnant and in a bikini makes me smile. [Concrete Loop]
• Peter Falk's wife and daughter continue to battle over conservatorship of the 81-year-old actor, who suffers from dementia. [LA Times]
• Phil Spector's lawyers are trying to get his sentence reduced. [AP]
• Blind item! "Which Great White Way star tries to rock girls he's crushing on by sending them X-rated photos of himself?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I hope this doesn't sound narcissistic because I have a supporting part in the movie, but I can't wait to see it again. I've never been a part of a movie I've so thoroughly enjoyed." — Justin Long, on the Sam Raimi thriller Drag Me To Hell. [CBS News]
• "Most of the stuff I don't tell her about, and she doesn't want to know about. She wants me to come home safe. A lot of it, she's just shook her head at. We've made a few trips to the hospital. That's how you know I am hurt, when I come home and voluntarily go by the emergency room. I've busted a few ribs and bruised my back and cracked the bone in my elbow. I think I got a concussion. It's my job." — Jesse James, who withholds information about his show Jesse James Is A Dead Man from wife Sandra Bullock. [USA Today]
• "I was really interested in seeing what the routine is, and it's really shocking, no matter what you've done, you stole, you killed or whatever, if you're in prison, everybody gets treated the same - I kinda thought that was really shocking. When they strip away your basic human rights, there's a routine of going anywhere - one door closes, another one opens. If they have a suspicion that you have anything on you, they strip-search you. You can't do what you want to do anymore. And that to me was a lot more shocking. "They don't make a difference - like he raped 58 women and killed 10 or if you didn't pay your parking tickets and you're in prison for six months, it doesn't matter, it's the same." — Diane Kruger, who researched prison life for her new French thriller Anything For Her. [Mirror]

• How did Brad Pitt end up in Inglourious Basterds? Booze and weed maybe:

"All I know is we talked about backstory and we talked about movies into the wee hours," Brad says. "I got up the next morning and I saw five empty bottles of wine on the floor. Five. And something that resembled smoking apparatus, I don't know what that was. Apparently I had agreed to do the movie and six weeks later I was in a uniform." You read that right: He and Quentin Tarantino were wasted and talking about Hitler. [Guardian]

• "'Today' show's Ann Curry can't keep hands off 'Inglourious Basterds' Brad Pitt in Cannes." [NY Daily News]
• Some guy named Kris Allen won this thing called American Idol. Will the Glambert have a career?!?! [Reuters, NY Daily News]
• Simon Cowell has his personal bodyguards watching over Terri Seymour after she was attacked by a disgruntled American Idol fan. [Daily Mail]
• Green Day has the most popular CD in the country, but you can't get it at Wal-Mart; "They won't carry our record because they wanted us to censor it," frontman Billie Joe Armstrong says. The retailer would have offered a "clean" version, but Billie Joe explains: "We just said no. We've never done it before. You feel like you're in 1953 or something." [AP]
• Rihanna was indeed seen kissing rapper Drake, whom you may know as Aubrey Graham, aka Jimmy Brooks on Degrassi: The Next Generation; the guy in the wheelchair. Remember that time he found out he couldn't get it up? Yeah. Anyway click here for a LOL. [People]
• The recent Bruce Springsteen hubub — in which he was accused of having an affair with his neighbor's wife — was actually extortion. The husband thought the rocker would pay "big money" to make the accusations "go away." [NY Post]
• The brother of Jon Gosselin's alleged mistress says: "The rumors are true… Personally, I do think they're going to continue seeing each other. I think they think they can get away with it." [E!]
• Kate Gosselin says the tabloids are making her life hell and she is worried about the kids: . "I don't want them dragged into this. It kills me. I've been saying, 'Let's find a country where our show doesn't air, and let's just go there until this all dies.' I have to laugh about this, or else I'll cry. It's a matter of, when will they stop?" [People]
• Mariah Carey announced the title of her new album via Twitter: "Bcuz I Love U, I want u to be the first to know the title of my new album Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel. It's very personal & dedicated to u." It is not dedicated to proper spelling, however. [Mirror]
• Talent firms William Morris and Endeavor are merging, which is good news for clients like Amy Adams, Keira Knightley, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, but bad news for the 100+ people who have been laid off. [Gatecrasher]
• Chris Brown may be working on a country song called "Trapped In A Dream." Doesn't he mean nightmare? [E!]
• Kim Cattrall has written an essay about making Memorial Day meaningful for The Huffington Post. She writes: "My family has served in the military dating back at least four generations, so I can truly appreciate the sacrifices made by those men and women who have fought so courageously in defense of freedom." [HuffPo]
• Kim Kardashian's Dash stores in Miami and Calabasas CA have both been vandalized — the perps scribbled graffiti on the windows, and the kopykat krime in CA included a note which read, "We love you Kim!!" If you love her, why are you spraypainting her windows? [TMZ, E!]
• Susan Boyle: Namechecked on The Simpsons. [Mirror]
• The head honcho at Disney/ABC is being dragged into Kate Walsh's divorce battle — Kate's ex wants him to testify about Kate's finances. [TMZ]
• Josh Lucas has dumped a gf via text message in the past. "I'm sickeningly embarrassed about it to this day." [Gatecrasher]
• A man in Montana — who was accused in 2005 of trying to kidnap David Letterman's son — was denied appeal by the Montana Supreme Court. [AP]
• Michael Jackson canceled the first four opening shows of his 50-date gig at London's O2 arena, which means 80,000 fans who had bought tickets will have to wait up to eight months to see the concerts. Jackson says the cancellation is due to "technical issues." As in, technically, he is not ready to do a huge concert? [Daily Mail]
• Can you ever, ever get tired of seeing pictures of 50 Cent and Bette Midler together? [Gatecrasher]
• James Cameron's Avatar, described by Steven Soderbergh as "the craziest shit ever," may be shown in theaters for THREE MONTHS. [NY Mag]
• Natalie Cole had a kidney transplant on Tuesday; she had been have dialysis three times a week since September. [CNN]
• "'Meet me man to man and I'll save your marriage,' Katie Price's horse 'hunk' tells Peter Andre." [Daily Mail]
• In case you didn't hear, My Name Is Earl has been canceled. [Mirror, BBC]
• Abbie Cornish is in Jane Campion's new flick, Bright Star, and according to this report, she "dyed her locks chocolate brown, filled out her figure to fit with the era's rounder beauty standards and took diction lessons in order to deliver Keats' poetry just so." [WWD]
• Rosario Dawson will star opposite — ugh — Kevin James in a romcom called The Zookeeper. What is up with the schlubby dudes getting hot ladies? [Variety]
• Hank Azaria plays a reanimated ancient Egyptian bent on world domination in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian and says: "It's kind of my niche — semi-naked, accented freak." [LA Times]
• Rapper/producer Swizz Beatz is in a relationship with Alicia Keys. But he's not yet divorced from wife Mashonda. He wants the court to seal documents related to the divorce so the public doesn't know any details. [Page Six]
• Michael Douglas spent Wednesday night moderating a panel of Washington experts on the issue of ridding the world of nuclear weapons. I watched Clean House. [USA Today]
• Phil Spector may get life in prison. [Mirror]
• Congrats to Chad Lowe and girlfriend Kim Painter, whose first child, Mabel Painter Lowe, was born on Saturday. [Star]
• Samantha Harris, the lady with the brown hair on Dancing With The Stars, will play Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway. [Page Six]
• Heather Mills was approached to be the face of a video game (based around someone with a prosthetic arm), but she wanted six figures to get involved with the project, and the producers were like, No. [The Sun]
• Redmond O'Neal was transferred to a new jail, where he'll begin intensive drug treatment. [People]
• "As she exhibits the bloodstained bag John Lennon's clothes were stored in after his murder, why the ex-Beatle's fans are saying 'You're just a ghoul, Yoko.'" [Daily Mail]
• RIP Wayne Allwine, who was the voice of Mickey Mouse. [Reuters]
• Blind item! "Which top model was dismissed from her agency - all because she became a Scientologist?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Batman's a hell of a lot tougher to do because he's all physical. He doesn't use guns. He's completely physical. John Connor uses guns. It's just a matter of picking somebody off and getting a good shot." — Christian Bale. [Mirror]
• "I've joined the millions and millions of women on the planet who are working mums, and I've discovered it's a real balancing act. I think the most incredible thing for me was that I didn't read any books about how to be a mum. Your instinct kicks in, and it's like you're tapping knowledge that you have in your DNA." — Rachel Weisz. [Mirror]
• "Artistically, me and Brad have been sniffing around each other for a while. The longing looks across the room, the little notes, 'I like you, do you like me.' Pretty quickly into writing I realised this is the one for Brad and then I started getting nervous – 'shit, if he doesn't do it, what the fuck am I going to do?'" — Quentin Tarantino, on Inglourious Basterds. he also says: "I'm never going to explain the spelling. When you do an artistic flourish like that, to describe it, to explain it, to take the piss out of it would invalidate the whole stroke in the first place." [Guardian]
• "We interviewed GfE's. They were intrigued by (the film). They were very helpful, very open. They would have to see the film to let me know if it's an accurate depiction of their lifestyle or not. There was only one of them we talked to that was in a committed relationship. That was one of the things we talked about — how do relationships work when this is your job? Most of them said it really doesn't. Most of them said if I'm going to get serious with someone then I'll stop working for a while and play it out. All of them said it never works out with a client. Whenever you move from the client to a real relationship it never works out. Although the one that we met who was in a committed relationship did meet that person as a client and they have been together for a long time. So I guess there are no absolutes. But in general they seem to think that doesn't work." — Steven Soderbergh, on his new film, The Girlfriend Experience. [Reuters]
• "Every time I am making a movie I feel insecure, and I feel scared, and that's part of the way I work.If one day I would be on the set feeling too secure - that would really scare me." — Penelope Cruz. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "I'd like to offer an apology and a clarification to remarks I made recently. While on the David Letterman program, I joked that I might need a ‘mail-order bride' to achieve the goal of having more children in my life. I believe that most people understood that this was a joke and took it as such. (A dated reference, no doubt, and another sign of my advancing age.) However, I do apologize to anyone who took offense." — Jack Donaghy Alec Baldwin. [MSNBC]
• "Showbiz types are people who grew up talking to themselves alone in a room for hours until they found some sort of outlet. Once they found that outlet, everything fell into place, except for the fact that they still never worked out why they still talk so much. So you see, though filled with deep emotional voids that can never be filled, Showbiz Types are an important part of our Nation's tapestry. I'm a Showbiz Type. (cue penny whistle and marching drums) But I am not a douche!!" — John Mayer. [Perez]
• "FRESH ASS PICTURE!!! YO WHY CAN'T ALL PAPARAZZI PHOTOS BE THIS GOOD? WELL OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE MOST CELEBS JUST AREN'T RIHANNA LOL! ... BUT ON THE REAL, THIS PIC IS HARDCORE. PEEP THE PERSPECTIVE SHOT OF THE CITY IN THE BACK. SOMETIMES THE PAPS OVEREXPOSE THE LENS OR HAVE THE FLASH TOO HIGH TAKING ALL THE EMOTION OUT OF THE MOMENT. THIS MOMENT IS CAPTURED IN TIME NOW. I LOOK AT OUR CURRENT SUPERSTARS LIKE LEGENDS IN THE MAKING... LIKE JUSTIN IS THE NEW MIKE , BEYONCE'S THE NEW TINA TURNER, GAGA'S MADONNA, JAY IS SINATRA... WAYNE IS HENDRIX, THOM YORKE IS ROGER WATERS, THESE ARE THE CHAMPIONS AND SHOULD BE DOCUMENTED AS SUCH. THAT SAID, IT WOULD BE DOPE IF THE PAPS OPERATED WITH THE SAME INTEGRITY AND ATTENTION TO THEIR CRAFT AS THE LEGENDS THEY PHOTOGRAPH..... GOOD JOB ON THIS ONE!" — Your friend Kanye West, complimenting a snap of Rihanna. [Kanye Univercity, NY Daily News]

• Twihards! Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson says there will be a fourth Twilight movie; the plot of the book Breaking Dawn will come to the big screen. What does this mean?

To the uninitiated, (SPOILER) this creepy story involves young Bella being pregnant with a vampire baby that eats its way out of her uterus... Fun times! Vampires are dead, right? So how can they be born? Or have sperm to impregnate? Oh, that's right: SPARKLES. [The Hollywood Reporter]

• One of Robert Pattinson's bodyguards pushed a paparazzo into a trash can at Cannes. [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez had dinner and drinks in Manhattan Friday night. It's so on. [People]
• Rihanna and rapper Drake: Really, really on. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker is concerned for the safety and well-being of the surrogate carrying her twins: "She's had friends threatened and family threatened and she's had family of friends threatened," SJP says. Plus, the woman's phone and computer have been tapped/hacked. [USA Today]
• Gay bashing alert: A young woman was attacked at a party where Samantha Ronson DJ'd, and Sam says it was "simply for being gay." She writes: "NO ONE should have to suffer any sort of attack, verbal or physical, for any reason." Warning: She links to a picture of the victim's face, and the damage is terrible. [MySpace, Twitpic]
• The documentary about Amy Winehouse — Saving Amy — may reveal that the singer is struggling with anorexia, alcohol, and her parents. [Daily Mail]
• If you want to see what Michael Jackson looks like these days — without a face mask — go ahead and click. [Daily Mail]
• Property improvements! Brad Pitt is building a new pool cabana and deck on his Malibu estate, which is up for sale. If you have $18 million, you can get a lovely home, pool, tennis courts, and neighbors like Cindy Crawford and Leo DiCaprio. Any takers? [LA Times]
• Here's a first review of Brad Pitt's latest, Inglorious Basterds. Derek Malcolm calls it "absurd, overlong and mostly cardboard version of World War II." The script "places its actors in the unenviable position of appearing either melodramatic, farcical or just plain dull." And "there are some decent moments but they are few and far between." [This Is London]
• Ellen had No Doubt come to her show and overbooked the studio by 500 people — leaving hundreds in the heat and sun for hours, even though they had tickets. Feeling hella bad. [Perez]
• Shawn Johnson says Dancing With The Stars changed her life, and that her dancing partner brought out her personality. "And I've loved every second of it." [E!]
• A neighbor says Jon and Kate of Plus 8 fame are only together for the TLC paychecks. "A lot of people around town say that's what their relationship has been about for a while." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Paula Abdul was asked if all four judges would be returning to American Idol next season, and replied, "Tune in!" [LA Times]
• A reporter to Hugh Hefner: "Would you let Lindsay Lohan play for Playboy?" Hef: "Who?" Reporter: "Lindsay Lohan." Hef cluelessly looks to his young girlfriend, who says, "Lindsay Lohan?" Hef, still looking confused, says, "Sure." Its on video. [Radar Online]
• In this video, Katy Perry talks about her religious parents: "They're very much cool." And: "My mom's isn't the rock-n-roller pot-smoking debutant that she was, and my dad's not the acid dealer with long hair anymore." Plus, she says doing a second record will be good, because "It'll show that either I got lucky or that I was meant to do this." [Rolling Stone]
• Years before Jay Leno nabbed a primetime spot, NBC was asking Oprah and Letterman to try it. [Variety]
• George Clooney will star in a flick called A Very Private Gentleman, playing an assassin who who protects his cover by hiding out in an Italian town. Is it even fiction? Can't you picture Cloons having a secret identity? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Looks like Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl will definitely be in Footloose; and now he may be joined by Miley Cyrus. The world is a strange and mysterious place. [E!, The Hollywood Reporter]
• Paris Hilton has been trying to get paid to appear at nightclubs in Cannes; a source says: "They aren't about to pay her. It's not 2002." [Page Six]
• Seven words you didn't want to hear this morning: "Jennifer Love Hewitt to relaunch singing career." [NME]
• Jesus, there is still major drama going on in Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford's divorce and custody battle. Rutherford has filed legal papers asking the judge to bar her ex from taking their 2-year-old son Hermes home — until the dad kid-proofs the pool and play areas. [TMZ]
• In this video, Charlotte Gainsbourg, who stars in Lars von Trier's Antichrist — the one with the genital mutilation — defends the film and Von Trier against the charge that he hates and exploits women. [Guardian]
• Another day, another Slumdog Millionaire child star's home destroyed. This time it was the living quarters of little Rubina Ali. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Sienna Miller wants a rose named after her, so somebody had better get on that. [Daily Express]
• Do you care if Vanessa Minnillo is still with Nick Lachey or not? This report says she was seen "acting single." Because she was drinking and dancing in a club. [Page Six]
• Colin Firth says he was well-versed in Noel Coward's work long before he signed on to star in Easy Virtue, a film based on a Coward play. [UPI]
• Does Ryan Phillippe have a wandering eye? [Page Six]
• File under: Moms re-entering the workplace. Liz Hurley has been away from movies for five years — due to the birth of her son — but would like to come back: "I decided I couldn't do movies for a while, which was a huge decision for me because I actually love making movies more than anything," she says. If she could do a film that could work around her son's school holidays, she would "take it like a shot." [Telegraph]
• T-Mobile is bringing Catherine Zeta-Jones back to its ads. [Business Insider via WSJ]
• Interesting: Chris Pontius of Jackass fame will appear in the new Sofia Coppola film, Somewhere. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• It's hard to read this story about actor Rip Torn's probation for DUI, because his 2006 mug shot is so LOL. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Blind item! "Which wanna-be rocker had to take a trip to the emergency room because he went to sleep with his contacts in?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It is all going well and I know I am very happy right now. I want the happy ever after ending. I've definitely changed. I'm just letting things happen and seeing what does. In so many ways I am behind the mark for my age. I'm not married and I don't have children but my attitude now is that things may happen or they may not but just be happy." — Kylie Minogue, who has been dating this sweet piece of man candy for seven months. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm doing a speech about the situation with AIDS in America basically, and how we need to address what's going on. We seem to be falling a little behind in America. I find this disease very cyclical. Every 10 years or so, after we spend a lot of money trying to educate people — a new generation of people — and we tell them to have safe sex and to abstain sometimes but have safe sex, wear condoms, we find that after 10 years another whole group of people come along. And we have to start all over again, which is really, really frustrating because it takes money for education. And we find that if we could get into the schools at a grass-roots levels, which we do in places like Africa where we get to kids at a young age and we tell them about preventive measures for not getting HIV, we find the success rate is tremendous." — Elton John. [CNN]
• "I just hope it will go away, after a little bit of time. I hope I'm not naïve in thinking that's possible. I don't want to be a part of it. I can't seem to navigate a way of doing that, of actually telling the truth of events that happened without feeling I'm encouraging the whole gossip notion." — Christian Bale on his rant. [USA Today]
• "I don't want us to split up. I love my husband, but I can't sit around crying. This is a new story and a new chapter in my life. Pete is the love of my life and I am so sad and upset by his decision to separate and divorce me as I married him for life. This is not what I want, but the decision was taken out of my hands." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [Telegraph]
• "'Hot' has become a euphemism for all things positive, making it generally acceptable to use to describe everything from a jalapeño to a drum solo. It's sort of a useful word. We don't have to think of appropriate adjectives for people, places, performances, tacos, or objects anymore as they all fit snugly under the glorious umbrella of 'hotness.' So I don't know how hot I am but I'm honored to be considered as warmer than the average taco." — Olivia Wilde, who is number one on Maxim's Hot List. She also says, "Michelle [Obama] will always be No. 1 on MY list." [The Daily Beast]

[New York, May 18. Image via INF]

[Los Angeles, May 14. Image via Getty]

• Christian Bale looks dirty and hot on the cover of the new EW! Inside, he talks about that infamous rant that was so popular it got turned into a dance remix:

''I don't care to go into details because, you know what, I don't believe in making excuses,'' he says. ''It doesn't matter. It was unacceptable. I went too far. And I learned from it.'' He continues: "I was surprised at myself hearing it back. These things happen, and you don't realize how long you're going in the heat of the moment. I would just say: inexcusable, my fault, yes, I did it, no excuses." As for apologizing on the radio, he did so because: "I was being told how it had gone like wildfire, and I was worried that it could completely overwhelm the movie itself. There's so much hard work that's gone into this. We had 77 days of smooth running and four minutes of me just going way too far - and that shouldn't characterize the making of the movie. My concern was that people would unfairly judge the movie based on my bad behavior." More at the link! [EW]

• Uh-oh: Gerard Butler has been charged with misdemeanor battery after a "run-in" with a paparazzo on October 7. He's not required to appear in court. [USA Today]
• Natalie Portman is still seeing Sean Penn, and just bought a gothic mansion in L.A. What does it mean? [Page Six]
• The uncle and grandmother of the little girl Madonna was trying to adopt are seeking legal action against the man who claims he is the child's father. [Mirror]
• Terry Gilliam is hoping Heath Ledger will will a second posthumous Oscar for his film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. [NY Mag]
• Christian Bale says his daughter will not be an actress: "Amateur is absolutely fine, but no way professionally. I've seen the way that unfortunately some kids are unhappy in those situations. There's no way I'd put my daughter through that." [Daily Mail]
• Ben Stiller, his wife Christine Taylor and Ricky Gervais toured the White House yesterday. President Obama was in New Mexico. [Reuters]
• Oprah now has 1 million followers on Twitter. Are you one of them? [Business Insider]
• It seems that Britney's dad punched Sam Lutfi in the chest at some point last year, but he was "provoked" and trying to "protect" Brit. [TMZ]
• Of course TMZ has screen shots from the surveillance video of the attempted break-in at Lindsay Lohan's house. If you want to see a Dodge Magnum station wagon and two guys doing something shady, go ahead and click. [TMZ]
• "Lindsay Lohan finally lands another acting gig - but can she behave on set?" [NY Daily News]
• Will Pink and Carey Hart have another wedding, even though they never really got divorced? "I love a party," Pink tells Ellen. [People]
• Magician Criss Angel is an alleged cat thief. [Page Six]
• Kelly Osbourne has written a book! "It's more of a self-help book for young women, the 13 major things that will happen to you before you turn 21 and what I did - most of them not right - and my advice and what I would have done differently." [Mirror]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Ashlee Simpson is pregnant with her second child. [PopCrunch]
• Guess who is getting a role in a West End musical, thanks to Andrew Lloyd Webber? Ms. Susan Boyle. [Telegraph]
• Why did Shanna Moakler resign from the Miss California USA Organization? "The turning point for me, I guess, was when I was watching the Today show and [Carrie Prejean] was sitting there continuing to lie. And it's obvious to everybody that the lying is still going on. I just couldn't stand behind her." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: Coming in 2011? Bridget Jones The Musical. [Daily Mail]
• Jane Krakowski wants Barack Obama to be on 30 Rock: "We've had Steve Martin. We've had Oprah. We've had Jerry Seinfeld. We've had all these great musical greats. Let's just go for the big guns now." [E!]
• Speaking of 30 Rock, Judah Friedlander and Alec Baldwin are both working on interesting side projects. [NY Times]
• Last week's "Motherlover" video Andy Samberg made with Justin Timberlake wasn't finished until 3 a.m. Saturday — hours before it would air. Samberg hopes to make a video with host Will Ferrell this week! [USA Today]
• What's this? More Scrubs? With Zach Braff and Sarah Chalke signing on? [E!]
• Ew: "Desperate Jordan has sent hubby Peter Andre a string of begging text messages pleading: 'If you let me come back I'll be like a wild animal in bed again.'" [The Sun]
• Eighteen years after winning an Oscar in Silence Of The Lambs, Sir Anthony Hopkins will play Hannibal Lecter again. Will Cate Blanchett play the FBI agent? [Daily Express]
• The Jonas Brothers have postponed shows in Mexico because of the swine flu. [Reuters]
• This article has interesting details about Steven Soderbergh's new film, The Girlfriend Experience; some scenes were improvised: "For instance, a scene where Mr. Santos's character interviews for a job at a gym was done in a single take. Mr. Soderbergh says he simply set up two cameras and instructed Mr. Santos and the gym's actual manager to do a mock interview. 'I just said, 'try and get a job from this guy. See if you can convince him to give you a job.' The exchange lasted about eight minutes, and was edited down to a one minute scene in the final version of the film. 'My experience has been, the more takes you do, the worse it gets,' says Mr. Soderbergh." [WSJ]
• California health regulators have fined the hospital where employees snooped in the medical records of Nadya Suleman, to the tune of $250,000. [LA Times]
• Erin Lucas, who is Whitney Port's BFF on The City, is talking shit about Kristin Cavallari, new star of The Hills. Lauren is such a genuine girl. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and she was real with the whole thing. I don't think Kristin is on that level. Wasn't Kristin like all gung-ho about being an actress? I mean, I read interviews last week, for that matter, where she's quoted making fun of the show and trashing it and saying she would never be a part of it. So to go from trashing a show, to go on and replace the girl you fucked over in high school…I don't see it going anywhere pretty." And who are you again? [E!]
• Lyrics from Peaches (not Geldof — electro Peaches!): "I drink a whiskey neat/You lick my crow's feet/Coming up to see me like I was Mae West/less like Tina/but I'm simply the best/Call me Robyn Cradel/baby baby be my guest." In this interview, she says: "I'm going to make aging cool." [NY Daily News]
• Holly Madison will replace Kelly Monaco in the "sultry" Las Vegas revue, Peepshow, which Mel B. also appears in. Although there are topless dancers in the show, neither Mel nor Holly will be barechested. [People]
• "Why George Harrison begged one young fan to stop throwing Jelly Babies at The Beatles." [Daily Mail]
• Farrah Fawcett loves Van Morrison, so the musician filmed his recent shows so he could give copies to Fawcett to watch while she's home in bed, fighting cancer. [E!]
• "Farrah's Story is as much about becoming aware of our own mortality as it is seeing a cultural icon fight the disease." [MSNBC]
• Even though they have been together for nearly 20 years, Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett never got married, but he says he would do it now: "She's still a little bit hesitant. I'm working though, I'm working." [Mirror]
• Ryan O'Neal says of Farrah: "I kind of wish that she would go to sleep, just go to sleep. It's not my right, but I just don't see how she could be happy." [NY Daily News]
• Candy Spelling has known Farrah Fawcett for over 30 years — Aaron Spelling produced Charlie's Angels — and Candy says of Farrah Fawcett's cancer: "When I first heard, I don't know if it was a year or two years ago when we first heard, and I contacted her. I hadn't talked to her in a while. She said, 'I'm going to be alright, Candy. Everything is going to be all right.'" [CNN]
• Anna Friel of Pushing Daisies will play Holly Golightly in a new stage adaptation of Breakfast At Tiffany's in London. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which troubled young starlet was caught doing lines with her new bestie at a hot NYC club?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I probably haven't worn my heart on my sleeve like this since the second Cranberries album." — Dolores O'Riordan. [USA Today]
• "I wasn't intending to do a popular television series. I was intending to do film and theatre. I got waylaid a little. Since that's over, I've got back to doing what I originally intended to do." — Gillian Anderson, whom you may know as Dana Scully, but who is starring in A Doll's House on the stage in London. [Daily Express]
• "I really believe on a daily basis that there's a line of communication between me and my dogs which we haven't defined yet. I really talk to them. And I also talk to my guinea pig, Mr James, every single morning. I sit and watch him on that wheel every day, trying to answer the question that is: 'Do they do it for exercise? Or do they think they're going to reach a destination?' Because that's a terrible metaphor for all of us. Because that's all life is perhaps? Nobody is gonna tell you the truth like I do." — Dustin Hoffman. [Independent]
• "I think Dan Brown is a terribly bad writer, but he has cliffhangers after every chapter which makes you continue reading. It's like eating peanuts at a bar. You don't like them, but you keep on eating them anyway." — Stellan Skarsgard, who only took a park in Angels & Demons because the script was different from the book. [Newser via AP]
• "To me, 10 o'clock is like the new 11:30. I hear more and more people, even young people, say 'I can't stay up past 11. I car pool, I gotta get up at 6.'" — Jay Leno. [CNN]
• "He always had the most ridiculous fashion. When it came to hairstyles he would have blow-dried hair like the Bay City rollers, then an awful perm. When he was 14 he tried to grow a moustache." — Simon Cowell's brother Nicholas. [The Sun]
• "Her boyfriend Tony Romo is one of my favourite quarterbacks. So I felt kinda conflicted doing the Jessica thing. Jessica got fat. I mean, not really fat, but she certainly got fat for, well, Jessica Simpson. I've always wanted people to be able to look at each video and go 'oh remember what was going on at that moment.' You know what I mean? 'Oh, that's when Jessica Simpson got fat, oh OK.' And even if she gets thin again, that's fine. Just for that moment in time, she was fat." — Eminem. [Mirror]
• "People were telling me, 'Christian, you're too good for Terminator.' And I'm thinking, I'm too good? I'm not a snob. I really fucking enjoy watching a good action movie. Who do you think I am?!'' — Christian Bale. [EW]
• "Being a mom makes me feel whole and like I understand the meaning of life." — Rebecca Romijn, to In Style. [People]

• Madonna and Jesus Luz are reportedly planning a "commitment ceremony" in front of a rabbi at the Kabbalah Center in New York. Oooh, and a source says:

"Lourdes mocks him by calling him The Babysitter, because he is so young. She likes him, but also likes winding him up." Hee hee, "get off the babysitter!" [Mirror]

• Robin Wright Penn talked to Gotham magazine for the June issue — obviously before Sean filed for divorce — and said: marriage is "real work, but that's what you sign up for. And it pays off beautifully, it really does. The outcome, the reward is so great because then your love grows out of those hard times." Now Sean Penn is allegedly seeing Natalie Portman. So. [Page Six]
• Oprah! At Duke! Doing a commencement speech! And getting an honorary degree! She told students to "stand proudly in your own shoes while you help others stand in theirs." And! "One of the best ways to enhance your own life is to enhance somebody else's." [Breitbart]
• Oprah sent a film crew over to Blackburn, Scotland, to Susan Boyle's house. In the interview, which will be broadcast today, Boyle says: "I am not lonely. Everyone has been so nice. I've got millions of new friends now." [Telegraph]
• Paris Hilton spent a romantic week in Anguilla with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, and updated her Twitter page constantly, with messages like "Love being in Love :) Best feeling in the world" and "Playing some golf together :) Golfing is fun" and "Loving life with my love" and "Lovers in paradise" and "My smooches from a secret island." Lots of pix of her kissing the dude, too. [Daily Mail]
• Christian Bale's part in Terminator Salvation was originally much smaller; the film's main character is not actually John Conner, played by Bale, but Marcus Wright, played by Sam Worthington. Director McG said the script had to be adjusted to "integrate" Bale more. [Hollywood Reporter]
• When Jennifer Lopez's daughter Emme was about three weeks old, she discovered a lump on the child's head. "We both got very nervous, very very nervous, and I just remember my heart sinking to my feet," Lopez says. "I looked at [Marc] and I said, 'You know if anything happens, I'm not going to be okay, you know that right?'" Emme was fine but Lopez was inspired to work with Childrens Hospital Los Angeles to help medical services to the less fortunate. "I started to wonder," Lopez said, "what if I couldn't afford a doctor, or receive the medicines, the procedures?" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Who were the stars at the White House Correspondents Dinner? Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Eva Longoria Parker, Owen Wilson, Donatella Versace, Stevie Wonder, Alicia Keys, Kerry Washington, Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick, Kenneth Cole, Jason Wu and "a smattering of mayors, diplomats and ambassadors." Donatella went in 2008 and says ths year "was much better." Then she told everyone to "get ooooout." [WWD]
• More from the WHCD! Rahm Emanuel seated next to Barbara Walters! Jon Hamm was there! Donatella Versace was hanging out with Jonathan Rhys Meyers! Political pundit Craig Crawford asked Jason Bateman a question! Ludacris had a "long talk" with Bill O'Reilly! [Politico]
• According to this report, at the WHCD, "No matter who's in the room, the Obamas outshine all challengers." [MSNBC]
• Noted political junkie Ben Affleck missed the WHCD! He was sick. [mediabistro.com]
• New York Mag: How did you deal with everyone in the room eating steak?
  Kate Hudson: Oh, I ate it.
  Stella McCartney: If you just give up meat one day a week, it has, like, the biggest impact environmentally.
  Kate: Well, I'm interested in change.
  Stella: You can do that! Unless you're like some kind of caveman carnivore...Or are you a cavewoman?
  Kate: Uh, me? I don't eat meat every day! Are you out of your mind? I'd have a heart attack!
  Stella: Jolly. So she's fine. She's good. [NY Mag]
• Re: Rihanna nude pix: This paper points out that she has many tattoos, none of which are see in the images purported to be her. [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown says he didn't leak the Rihanna pix. [The Sun]
• All that cardio pays off between the sheets! A stripper says Michael Phelps "should get another Olympic gold for marathon love-making!" because "the sex lasted for about three hours." [NY Post]
• Miss California Carrie Prejean's lawyer sent a cease and desist letter to the website hosting her underwear pix saying she was underage and that one shot is a Photoshop manipulation; the site has responded: "Your client's publicity rights are substantially inferior to the right of the public to consider, discuss, agree and/or disagree with Ms. Prejean's actions and views. This is not conduct for which your client's consent is required." Oh snap. [TMZ]
• By the by, Carrie Prejean has recorded a phone message for National Organization for Marriage, asking people to donate money and sign a petition against gay marriage. [TMZ]
• And! Those "topless" pix? Taken well-after Carrie Prejean turned 18, not when she was 17, as she claims. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse had a crappy performance at the St. Lucia Jazz Festival, but the tourism minister says: "It's a shame it did not go better but we will bring her back in the future. We fully support her and hope she can get well. We have a lot of admiration for her." [The Sun]
• Swine flu be damned! Hugh Jackman will head to Mexico to promote Wolverine. [Mirror]
• Quentin Tarantino talks Inglourious Basterds, 70% of which is in French or German. "When you see the Germans speaking English with a German accent or sounding like British thespians, it just seems very quaint," he says. "That's one thing I don't want this film to have." Execs at the studio are not worried about the heavy use of subtitles: "Tarantino is a universal language," said one. [NY Times]
• Rachel McAdams has an environmental website, green is sexy, and says: "It's funny because when people come to my house they think everything is broken because I don't have anything plugged in. Guests are always saying things like: 'You need a new light bulb here' and I go around to the lamp and say: 'You've got to just plug it in!"' [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "WARNING: This may hurt your eyes... Beth Ditto strips down to her Spanx." Eh, fuck you, Daily Fail. [Daily Mail]
• Kim Kardashian is getting married! Eventually. "So many people rush into it and it's all this pressure because they see we've been together for a while," she says of beau Reggie Bush, whom she has been dating since 2007. "But, we're heading there. When we're ready, we'll know." [People]
• Boy George has been released from jail — early — and lost a few pounds during the four months he was in the slammer. [Daily Mail]
• This report says Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell are secretly engaged but don't want to make a formal announcement lest Heather Mills make some kind of scene; McCartney's rep is quoted about the rumor, saying, "There is no truth in it whatsoever. They have not become engaged in any shape or form. It is utter nonsense." [Daily Express]
• Jerry Hall was writing an autobiography — being called an "explosive, tell-all account" of her life with Mick Jagger — but the book has been abandoned. Apparently the publishers were "disappointed" with the lack of Jagger dirt. In JERRY'S autobiography. There was, however, a lot of gossip about Carla Bruni… [Daily Mail]
• Bjork sang with the Dirty Projectors at "her smallest gig of the year" Friday night in a bookstore in NYC, in front of 300 people. [NY Times]
• "Serial dater Geri Halliwell's relationship gets serious as she meets aristocrat lover's parents." [Daily Mail]
• Nineteen year old JoJo Simmons, son of Rev Run Simmons of Run-DMC, was caught rolling a joint in his BMW and has been arrested and charged with a bunch of stuff. [UPI]
• Awww, on Mother's Day, Florence Henderson, aka Carol Brady, says, "I get mail from all over the world, 122 countries." [UPI]
• Shirley Jones, 75, who was the mom on The Partridge Family, may pose nude for Playboy. Her husband/manager says, "Mature women are relevant." [Page Six]
• Is Kylie Minogue gonna get hitched to her hot hot Spanish boyfriend? [Daily Mail]
• Nia Vardalos talks about becoming a mom of a toddler — overnight. She adopted a 3-year-old from a foster family agency and says her daughter "arrived without an instruction manual. I didn't know if she had a sleep schedule, food allergies – there wasn't even a note pinned to her shirt. She just walked in and looked up at me, like "got lunch?" [People]
• Barbra Streisand's personal assistant: Busted on drug charges in Malibu on Wednesday. Cops found cocaine, methamphetamines and a weapon in her car. Sometimes people who help people who need people need a bump. [LA Times]
• Label exec Irv Gotti says he is dropping Ashanti from The Inc. They haven't been on speaking terms for some time; in 2007 Gotti told Wendy Williams he and Ashanti had sex even though he was a married man. [MTV]
• Jane's Addiction frontman Perry Farrell tore his calf muscle during the first song in a concert in Atlanta. He finished the show and then took an ambulance to the hospital; doctors are telling him to stay off the leg for a few days. [AP]
• If you have £500,000, you can buy David Beckham's "modest" childhood home in east London. [BBC News]
• Blind item! "Which married TV actor used the Correspondents Dinner as an excuse to meet up with his occasional mistress?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I wasn't familiar with rugby league beforehand and I don't profess to be an expert now. But everything I do know about rugby league, I know from Russell Crowe." — Rachel McAdams, who became friends with the Aussie while shooting State Of Play and even watched a game with him via satellite at three in the morning. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I wanted audiences to think, ‘This guy could easily rip someone's head off', so I worked hard to achieve that physique. I ran and had to lift very heavy weights. Every morning I'd get up and there was a part of me that just wanted to collapse, but you just have to keep going, it's full-on testosterone. When I'm training, I'm fairly obnoxious, I really make a big thing of it and there is a lot of noise. I play driving music like Metallica that I would never otherwise listen to. I consulted a bodybuilder and what I realized is that how you look is 30% how you train and 70% how you eat. No carbs after lunch. Six to eight chicken breasts a day, two at each sitting, 4,000 calories in total. I really enjoyed eating pizza at the end of the movie, trust me, and I had half a dozen beers on the final day of shooting." — Hugh Jackman, on achieving the look of Wolverine. [Mirror]
• "I knew I had to build a body, and I ate a lot of wheat and chain-smoked. That will do it! The woman had to feel like she really had been drinking for 25 years. Now, I have not been drinking for 25 years. I'm a relatively healthy individual, so the first thing I had to do was make myself look like I was super-wrecked, which took a bit of time." — Tilda Switon, on playing a "ferociously dedicated alcoholic" in Julia. [USA Today]
• "I see Amelia as that fast-talking, Katharine Hepburn type of woman. She's powerful and authoritative with some chutzpah. I am much more cautious, I don't take as many physical risks as her. I see her as a woman who's ahead of her time but also having fun, embracing that sense of adventure; it's about believing in yourself and your passions and making the most of the time that you have in life." — Amy Adams, on playing Amelia Earhart in Night A The Museum 2. [Daily Mail]
• "Jack is gun crazy. Over here you can buy real guns. I have this horrible thing: I can see this movie in my head where he's messing around and shoots himself in the foot. Sharon goes to me, ‘Oh darling, he's been surrounded by guns all his life.' But there is a difference between an air rifle and a 45-calibre pistol. I said to Jack, ‘If someone got into your house would you be willing to use the gun?' He said, ‘Sure.'" — Ozzy Osbourne. [Daily Express]
• "We visited Panzi Hospital where IMC is training doctors and which has become world-renowned because of its incredible work with thousands of women who are in need of surgical repair for a condition called 'fistula,' a severe gynecologic rupture. It's a frighteningly common condition in eastern DRC because of lack of obstetric care, and the epidemic of rape. Panzi Hospital's Founder and Director is Dr. Denis Mukwege, often referred to as "the savior of women " and was named by a prestigious Nigerian newspaper as African of the Year in 2008. He shared some of his experiences with us and as you can imagine, they are horrific. The youngest rape victim he has had to treat was a three year old girl." — Sienna Miller, who is in the Congo, working with International Medical Corps. [Huffington Post]

[Image by Steven Klein via W Magazine]

• Don't call it a comeback: Amy Winehouse's attempt to restart her career in St. Lucia was a disaster, with audience members booing her as she stumbled about and forgot the lyrics to her songs. [DailyMail]

• Amy was apparently upset that many of the songs reminded her of her estranged husband, Blake Fielder-Civil, and spent most of the set drinking and mumbling to herself. You can watch a video of the performance here. [NewsOfTheWorld]
• Heavy rain didn't help matters either: Amy was forced to end the show early due to bad weather. [NYTimes]
• Susan Boyle was invited to sing for President Obama, but was apparently too overwhelmed to accept the invitation. "She was shocked and thrilled by the invite - but it was all too much too soon for her so she said No," says a source, "She has been told President Obama has seen clips of her on TV and loved her singing. And she is delighted. But instead she'll have no doubt stayed in with her cat Pebbles, washed her hair and watched Britain's Got Talent on telly."[NewsOfTheWorld]
• Matthew Broderick is getting some not-so-helpful advice on the upcoming arrival of his twin daughters: "Yeah, I'm ready. You know, I've asked people, 'What's it like to have twins?' One father said, 'I don't recommend it.' But the rest have been very positive." [PopSugar]
• Sharon Osbourne admits that she has a bit of a crush on Russell Brand: "Oh, he's a sexy old thing," she says. [Mirror]
• OMG, what does the very lovely Victoria Beckham look like without makeup after working out at the gym? She looks like the very lovely Victoria Beckham without makeup after working out at the gym, of course. [DailyMail]
• "I'm still baffled as to why people are so interested in my life. It's so weird, even my dog Norman gets recognised - he's famous. But I'm cutting him off, I've told him no more Oprah appearances! It's been horrendous at times. I have had to simply move through it and try to think positively."- Jennifer Aniston [DailyMail]
• The fate of Miss California, Carrie Prejean, will be decided this week: press conferences will be held on Monday and Tuesday to announce whether or not Prejean will be stripped of her crown for failing to disclose that she had posed for "sexy pictures" in the past. [E!]
• Hugh Jackman's wife is a big fan of his Wolverine look: "She loves it. When we met, I was in a prison drama, I had long hair, a mullet, a lot of muscles and tattoos, I was seriously pumped-up. She likes me when I'm in the Wolverine mode, the bad boy, you know? She loves me putting the leather jacket on, getting on the motorbike…"[Mirror]
• Zachary Quinto had a hard time getting used to the Vulcan salute. "‘In some scenes he has to do the salute while speaking his lines so they ended up using skin-protective superglue, like they use in hospitals, to stick his fingers together," says a source, "It was the only way they could make it work."[DailyMail]
• Christian Bale says he's speaking out about his infamous rant in order to draw attention away from himself and back to Terminator: Salvation. "You think about the numbers of days we shot on that movie - 77 days - everything going well. What's being focused on is four minutes where I behaved bad," Bale says, "I didn't want that to overshadow the hard work of everybody on the crew, in every aspect. So I felt like I had to say something." [DailyExpress]
• Blind Item: "Which fashion designer was caught doing a Winona at the London Marc Jacobs store? She had to be called up and ordered to return the stock to keep it all hush-hush." [BlindGossip]
• "I didn't have a teenage or early-20s experience that was free and without worry. I missed the screw-everything, have-a-good-time phase. I was worried that if I didn't stay on track and work, work, work, I was never going to accomplish anything. Now I'm trying to have fun and have the freedom to do nothing."-Sandra Bullock [JustJared]
• Heidi Klum and Seal renewed their wedding vows yesterday to celebrate their fourth anniversary. [RadarOnline]
• Even though her application to adopt Mercy James was denied, Madonna is still setting up a trust fund for the girl, in order to fund her education. "Madonna loves Mercy," says a source, "She wants to be part of her life and provide for her. She wants to make sure Mercy has everything she needs in life and her dreams are fulfilled." [ShowbizSpy]
• Liv Tyler says she's "stopped buying fashion magazines. I mean, it's such fun, but I don't want to be influenced by everyone else about what's cool or not cool; I want to be who I want to be." [TimesOnline]

[Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Tobey Maguire and his wife, Jennifer Meyer, who already have a daughter together, two-and-a-half year old Ruby, now have a son; their second child was born Friday and "the family is healthy and happy." [People]

• Meanwhile, Jason Priestley is also preparing for the arrival of his son. Priestley's wife, Naomi, has confirmed that the couple (who already have a 22 month old girl) is expecting a baby boy. "They are so excited," says a source, "They said this is probably it for them because now they'll have one of each." [People]
• Heidi Klum and Seal who have two sons and are raising Heidi's daughter, Leni, together, are expecting a baby girl. "We'd be happy with either," says Heidi, "But it would be a lie if I said we all weren't hoping for a little girl — especially Leni, because she would love to have a little sister." [USWeekly]
• Sandra Bullock, however, isn't sure she ever wants kids: "You don't have to give birth to someone to have a family. I'm not going to spend two seconds of my life wishing I had something I don't," Bullock says, "It's hard to do it your way when you hear everyone else telling you to do it their way, I just want people to admit that there's no one way to live your life." [USWeekly]
• Is Bob Dylan hiding the fact that he's had several wives and children? [DailyMail]
• Taylor Swift likes to check up on her exes from time to time: "In my spare time I like to drive past my ex boyfriends' houses. I'm not like throwing eggs; I just like to check up on them. Everybody does that - it's just that nobody admits to it!" [ShowbizSpy]
• Mia Farrow has ended her fast after 12 days, claiming that her doctors warned her about health concerns, including seizures. "I am fortunate," Farrow says, "The women, children, and men I am fasting for do not have that option. When beginning this fast twelve days ago, I said that when I could go no longer, I hoped another would take my place, and another, and another, until the expelled humanitarian agencies are readmitted and finally there there is finally justice and peace for the people of Darfur." [DailyExpress]
• Akon owns a diamond mine in South Africa and says you can't believe everything you read: "I don't even believe in conflict diamonds," he says, "That's just a movie. Think about it. Ain't nobody thought about nothing about no conflict diamonds until the movie came out. Where was all that shit before the movie? That's the problem with people - they believe everything they read or see on TV. Unless you go to Sierra Leone and see what's going down, don't believe everything you're reading or see on TV. Trust me." [Independent]
• "My dad said it best. He said, 'Kelly, you have a contagious energy. You're always smiling, you're always happy and you're always excited to be wherever you are. People are just going to constantly try and bring you down and take that away from you. You just have to keep smiling.' And that's what I do."- Kelly Bensimon [E!]
• Blind Item: "A celebrity couple enjoyed dinner at a restaurant recently. This particular restaurant had a gorgeous flower arrangement on each table that the dark-haired woman greatly admired. As the couple was leaving, the woman - without asking permission from the restaurant - took not only the flowers from her table, but the ones from the table next to hers as well! As she was walking out, she told a stunned restaurant employee that they were the perfect thing for her own table at home. Perhaps her new film coming out this summer didn't pay her enough to buy her own flowers?" [BlindGossip]
• In totally shocking news, Eminem is, once again, blaming his mother for all of his problems. "My mum loved Valium and lots of drugs. That's why I'm like I am because I'm my mum," Marshall says, "There's no one quite like my mum. I know I should let bygones be bygone but she's the reason why I'm high on what I'm high on." [TheSun]
• Perhaps we'll hear more about Em's issues during his three-night stint on the Jimmy Kimmel Show, where he'll be promoting his new album, Relapse.[UPI]
• "I've lived the life of a 35-year-old since I was 18. I'm so suspicious of boys-slash-men. I just don't like them or trust them."- Megan Fox [DailyMail]
• Oprah's home in Montecito, CA, has been evacuated due to the wildfires that are currently sweeping through the area. "The fires are nearby, but her house is not within the mandatory evacuation area," says a source, "We're continuing to monitor." [USWeekly]
• "Pottery has all sorts of metaphors, mostly sexual. I don't like to trim. I like throwing, mostly. I like being on the wheel. So I do what's called 'throwing off the hump.' You get a big piece of clay and you put it in the center of the wheel and center it ... I started making these little votive pieces ... then I would paint these little guys and put them in a vignette in a lighted area and it would cast a shadow on the wall."- Parker Posey [NYMag]
• A highly scientific formula has determined that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are the most powerful celebrity couple on the planet. [Telegraph]
• "Well, I never stopped writing music. I'm just writing a different kind of music now. I'm writing instrumental music and thematic music. To what end, I really don't know. It may end up being a movie score, some of it could be symphonic, it could end up being songs. I'm writing themes. I'm just not writing songs like I used to."- Billy Joel, who also still claims that he didn't start the fire, you guys. [Yahoo]
• Snoop Dogg has been cleared of battery and assault charges stemming from a 2005 incident wherein a concert goer jumped onstage and was promptly taken down by Snoop's entourage. [E!]
• "Ninety per cent of what is written about us is invented. The last one was this story about the Hungarian model, I have never been out to dinner with this young lady. I do not flirt with other women - I exist only for Victoria."- David Beckham [DailyMail]
• PETA is targeting Jessica Simpson due to her plans to perform a concert at Sea World: "As someone who is used to living in a fishbowl and having the public weigh in on her every move, you might like to give some thought to the animals who are forced to be 'on display' their entire lives." [DailyExpress]
• Christian Bale forced a rewrite of the upcoming Terminator: Salvation film. When asked why, he screamed: "Because it's fucking distracting!" When I told him I was going to put that in this morning's Dirt Bag, he yelled, "Oh goooood for yooooou." I'm pretty sure that we're done, professionally. [Yahoo]

• Shanna Moakler, Co-Executive Director of the Miss California Organization, has confirmed that the pageant paid for Miss California Carrie Prejean's breast implants.

Moakler also says Miss California is not speaking to her right now. But she doesn't want Miss California stripped of her crown: "I don't want to fire her! I think she's a great, young girl, and I got into pageants, because I want to help young girls. I want to guide young girls. I know what pageants [did] for me and I know what it can do for young women and also working within the community." Uh-huh. Sure. Moakler also says: "I don't want to fire Carrie. I want her to use her platform, because this is her platform, I didn't know she was this passionate about it… I'm glad I know now and I support and will help her, but…" [Access Hollywood]

• Sarah Jessica Parker is talking about the twins she is expecting (through a surrogate): "It's been a complicated past few weeks… My main concern is that my husband and son [James Wilkie, now 6 years old] have enough time. Hopefully, our son is feeling loved and taken care of." [Gatecrasher]
• Don't speak! No Doubt reunites tomorrow for its first live performance in five years… on the Today show. So rock and roll. [NY Daily News]
• Chief Justice Lovemore Munlo of Malawi will lead a panel in Madonna's appeal case; Madge wants to overturn the court's decision to reject her application to adopt 3-year-old Mercy. Her Madgesty is not required to attend the hearing on May 4. Think she'll make an appearance? [People]
• The Daily Fail spoke to Mercy's biological father, who has never MET Mercy, but says: "She is my daughter; she is my blood; she needs parental love. She is not an orphan. She lost one parent, yes, but I am still alive and so she is not an orphan. Madonna has millions of dollars but that doesn't make her a good mum. Parental love is more than money. Besides, I don't think Madonna is a model mum. I have seen her in movies of her songs. She doesn't portray good morals. How can a woman of 50 dance almost naked on stage? I wouldn't want my daughter to grow up like that! In Malawi women respect themselves. Cultured women do not go about half-naked." It goes on, but you get the point. [Daily Mail, NY Post]
• Meanwhile, Madonna is looking for a place in the Hamptons, but the peeps in the Hamptons seem to think she may be a pain in the ass. [Page Six]
• So remember the report that claimed Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's bodyguard was writing a tell-all book? He says: "No, no, no. I'm not writing a tell-all book. I don't know where this story came from. It's not true." Dammit! [MSNBC via Life & Style]
• Rihanna's father sounds absolutely overjoyed when he says: "[Rihanna is] a different person, back to herself. It's like Chris never existed. She seems reborn. She's realizing how precious life is." [MSNBC]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets, wants to sue sources from In Touch magazine who claim she was a stripper. "I've never even met a stripper in my life," she says. [MSNBC]
• Bottoms up: Justin Timberlake's new tequila, 901, is "actually a really nice product," says a "tequila geek" and bar owner. "It has a nice richness to it, a full-body mouth feel, a nice finish." That's what she said? [NY Daily News]
• In this article, entertainment professionals and insiders list nine things Lindsay Lohan should do to save her career. Examples: do some charity work, develop self-discipline, focus. [NY Daily News]
• Uh-oh: Paula Abdul was "totally fooled" by Bruno, the character Sacha Baron Cohen plays in his upcoming flick. [Page Six]
• Spotted: Ryan Gosling having dinner with a "mystery model." [Page Six]
• Heidi Klum says Susan Boyle could be a good Project Runway guest. "She could be a good challenge." Is that a compliment? [E!]
• Early reviews for Wolverine are not good; critics call it "noisy and impersonal" and "silly and typical" and "a keen disappointment." However. Everyone will see it anyway and it will surely win the box office and be a "hit." [Reuters]
• Hugh Hefner says he does not want Holly Madison to be his girlfriend again. "The notion that I would want her back as a girlfriend is bizarre. I am now in one of the best relationships in memory with Crystal Harris and the twins. I'm not going to screw it up with former girlfriends." [E!]
• Prison Break star Lane Garrison went from prison to Jessica Simpson's house. He says "I'm blessed to be alive." Garrison was incarcerated for 19 months for a DUI crash that killed one person; Jessica's father Joe was his youth minister in Texas, so he's close to the fam. [E!]
• Top Gun star Kelly McGillis has come out: She is a lesbian. She says her next partner would "definitely be a woman." And: "I'm done with the man thing. It's a part of being true to yourself. That's been a challenge for me personally." [This Is London]
• Usher is allowing the Boys and Girls Club of America to use a childhood photo of him in their ad campaign. He looks cute! [USA Today]
• Simon Cowell's first gig in showbiz was to polish the axe Jack Nicholson used in The Shining. Apropos? [The Sun]
• Unauthorized Diana Ross biography: In the works. Guess what? She's being painted as "ambitious." THE SCANDAL. [Variety]
• Do we like this picture of Chelsea Handler with a man between her legs? [E!]
• Tony Blair, Kate Winslet and other celebs have contributed to a book of butterfly pictures compiled in memory of a young woman who died from leukemia. [Telegraph]
• "Jailed Jack Tweed [widow of Jade Goody] turned tail and ran from the showers in prison - after THREE encounters with naked gay star Boy George." [The Sun]
• Redmond O'Neal — son of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal — pleaded not guilty yesterday to the felony charge that he brought drugs to jail. [ET]
• A settlement has been reached in the defamation lawsuit filed against Dr. Phil by a witness in O.J. Simpson's robbery case. [AP]
• Blind item: "Which starlet's constant state of inebriation is causing problems in her marriage? Her hubby hates having to physically remove her from nightclubs." [Gatecrasher]
• "CSI will beat the hell out of him." — CEO of Viacom and CBS, Sumner Redstone, on Jay Leno having a show on at 10pm. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• "I don't think it's irrelevant because I am sure there are still people out there who are living it up… I think the show is taken for what it is — it's a piece of entertainment and that's the value and that's the worth." — Ed Westwick, on Gossip Girl. [Mirror]
• "The worst thing about Ricky as a director is that if something is funny at all and it was improvisational, he breaks and laughs and ruins your take. I would say, 'It's your movie. Just leave, go in another room. Let me just do it.' He's like, 'Just do it again.' I said, 'Ricky, it's not the same. You suck.' But he knew exactly what he wanted." — Jennifer Garner on working with Ricky Gervais in The Invention Of Lying. [The Star]
• "It's got to be the right story. You can't make The Dark Knight and then come out with something disappointing. The fact is I have to. Chris doesn't. So I'm in a fix if he says he doesn't want to." — Christian Bale, concerned that director Chris Nolan has yet to sign on for another Batman flick. (Bale is contractually obligated to star in a third movie.) [Daily Express]
• Q:You're featured on the gossip website Gawker all the time. Do websites like that annoy you? A: "No, I'm not somebody who reads about what I'm actually up to that week - which usually they get wrong. Maybe you can pass the word on to anybody who reads these sites or who sees their kids on them that most of the time these people are making stuff up. If people want to really know what's up with me then they can read one of my interviews." — Chuck Bass, ahem, Ed Westwick. [Guardian]
• "I've had my garbage stolen… I think tabloid journalism has become so pervasive is that it gives people the chance to feel better about themselves in a slightly sick way. A lot of it is 'Stars are just like us! They have cellulite and bad eating habits and drug problems!' There are a lot of celebrities that are more than happy to share every last detail about their lives until there's no mystery left whatsoever." — Ryan Reynolds. [USA Today]
• "I'm doing my part to save the planet. You know that new Aston Martin Vantage? I didn't buy it. You're welcome, Earth!" — Jon Hamm. [Gatecrasher]
• "It has truly never been my intention to be a performer, and I think it's probably best that I stop performing pretty soon and start writing. [Acting] is like a big red herring. I kind of want to stop it, really." — Tilda Swinton would rather be a poet. [The Daily Beast]
• "We look around. We see what we want. Don't you look around and see what you want to look like? I'm, like, look, Michelle Obama's guns. I could have those arms. I don't know about the legs." — Kirstie Alley, to Oprah. [People]