Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence are apparently dating. It's Friday, this week has been horrible, so what the hell? Sure.

It seems like Chris Martin and ex Gwyneth Paltrow have been spotted everywhere together lately—a mystery that, obviously, CANNOT BE BORNE WITHOUT EXPLANATION. Is there a reconciliation in the works? Was the breakup nothing but a publicity sham, scam, and/or flim-flam? Or is it possible that two adult humans who are…

Chris Martin has been throwing a lot of shade GOOP's way since he and the mistress of the million dollar colon cleanse have gone their separate ways. First he let his kids go hog-wild at a fast food restaurant (many fries were lost that day) and now he's ended his vegetarian diet, telling a radio show that he'll eat…

A nasty Twitter troll who sent death threats to celebrities has been shut down by a British court. Boom.

Shots fired in the conscious uncoupling of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin! While Our Lady of Divine Goop was across the country in New York City, Martin was spotted at a L.A. fast food restaurant feeding his children french fries. THE KIND THAT COMES OUT OF A DEEP FRYER.

Chris Martin and his Coldplay gang released their new video for a song called "Magic" today, and it seems like perfect timing. With all of Martin and soon-to-be ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow's conscious uncoupling and how celebrity divorce these days means taking a final beach vacation together — presumably to politely…

While Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have been hiding away in the Bahamas avoiding the press since they announced their divorce, therapist Katherine Woodward Thomas has been having a busy, if complicated, week.

Huzzah! We have now entered the wild speculation phase of the celebrity conscious uncoupling jamboree! Chris Martin was spotted (actually, let's go with CAUGHT!!!) getting a "late-night milkshake" with model Alexa Chung at Glastonbury, um, last June. The pair was reportedly "chilling and having a good time."

A new sodium-laced report about the GOOP-y bombshell Vanity Fair is about to drop in its Gwyneth Paltrow cover story next month may have the answer as to why the actress has been feuding with the magazine and warning her friends to decline requests for quotes or comments about the story: the writer for the piece is…

Elle Evans, the blonde model from Robin Thicke's now notorious "Blurred Lines" video, has weighed in on Miley Cyrus's VMAs performance, because sure, why not. Her take: SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW MILEY ANYMORE, MAN.

"I did eat that day," Jennfer Aniston has qualified (verbatim) about her stripper scene in upcoming movie We're the Millers, as if consuming necessary sustenance within a 24-hour period is a magnificent, shocking truth.

After her lil' detour at an electronics store, Lindsay Lohan checked into rehab. Two minutes later, she checked out and derped away quickly, chanting: "I'm not going to rehab. I'm not going to rehab. Take me back to the airport."

It's true, nothing gold can stay, and by "gold" I mean "Two and a Half Men, the worst CBS show you're not watching." While Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer have resigned their contracts for a third season (Kutcher at a $700,000-per-episode payout; Cryer at, I don't know, a gum wrapper and a damp Nickelback ticket stub?),

Bet you did Nazi this coming! Publicists/the fates diced and soaked locally-sourced ingredients for a gazpacho of Internet greatness when Justin Bieber stopped by Amsterdam's Anne Frank House on his European tour. He wrote in the museum guestbook:

I mean, how hard is it to catch a flight? This is a rhetorical question for Lindsay Lohan, who missed her plane last night from New York to attend her trial in L.A. this morning. (We're now on her twenty-something trial. When you move into the double digits, you should get a free Shakeweight or some turtle wax or an…