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This Week In Tabloids: JLaw Wants Chris Martin to Impregnate Her

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we move into a mansion in New Jersey only to find Gwyneth Paltrow has started sending us packages containing things like recipes for gluten-free versions of whatever we cooked the night before, moisturizers, cases of SmartWater, and sex tips based on what she’s “been observing through… » 7/15/15 3:10pm 7/15/15 3:10pm

Kris Jenner Has Finally Become Friends With Everyone In Los Angeles

Kris Jenner and boyfriend Corey Gamble went on a double date with Tish and Billy Ray Cyrus last night because Kris Jenner is friends with everyone in Los Angeles, including any Los Angelenos currently reading this, so don’t be surprised when Kris Jenner bangs on your door this evening wondering why you haven’t left… » 4/23/15 8:10pm 4/23/15 8:10pm

Gwyn & Chris Celebrate 1-Year Conscious Uncoupling Anniversary in Mexico

Can you believe it’s been over a full year since Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin consciously uncoupled? And as a wise woman once sang, “Time makes you bolder, even children get older/ so why not celebrate your breakup anniversary by traveling to Mexico on a vacation with your ex and kids?” » 4/02/15 10:30am 4/02/15 10:30am

Chris Martin Says He and Gwyneth Are Just 'Friends and Proud Parents'

It seems like Chris Martin and ex Gwyneth Paltrow have been spotted everywhere together lately—a mystery that, obviously, CANNOT BE BORNE WITHOUT EXPLANATION. Is there a reconciliation in the works? Was the breakup nothing but a publicity sham, scam, and/or flim-flam? Or is it possible that two adult humans who are… » 7/31/14 8:00pm 7/31/14 8:00pm

BREAKING: Chris Martin Has Stupid Thoughts On Vegetarianism

Chris Martin has been throwing a lot of shade GOOP's way since he and the mistress of the million dollar colon cleanse have gone their separate ways. First he let his kids go hog-wild at a fast food restaurant (many fries were lost that day) and now he's ended his vegetarian diet, telling a radio show that he'll eat… » 7/02/14 6:00pm 7/02/14 6:00pm

Kim and Kanye Are NOT Getting Married in Florence

Despite rampant rumors that the future Mr. And Mrs. West would be tying the knot in Florence, Italy (which is a beautiful place for a wedding, according to my mother who has never been), sources close to the happy couple reveal that the wedding will take place at Versailles after a week of lavish parties all around… » 5/17/14 11:30am 5/17/14 11:30am

Does Coldplay's New 'Magic' Video Show Signs of Conscious Uncoupling?

Chris Martin and his Coldplay gang released their new video for a song called "Magic" today, and it seems like perfect timing. With all of Martin and soon-to-be ex-wife Gwyneth Paltrow's conscious uncoupling and how celebrity divorce these days means taking a final beach vacation together — presumably to politely… » 4/07/14 4:30pm 4/07/14 4:30pm