• Waiting, with Diane Von Furstenberg, for Mayor Bloomberg to arrive in Queens, Anna Wintour said, "If he doesn't show, Diane and I will run on a joint ticket and take over the city." Was that a...joke? Then Lindsay Lohan stole.

• The new Emanual Ungaro creative consultant thingamajig dutifully turned up at the Ungaro store for Fashion's Night Out, selected a leather jacket that met with her approval, and headed for the door. Sales assistants ripped off the tags. [NYDN]
• Yesterday afternoon, Gwen Stefani watched her own presentation, for her L.A.M.B. clothing line, from the audience. It took a while for anybody to recognize her, but once they did, she was mobbed — unusually, for fashion week, where everyone generally pretends not to notice the celebrities, and the celebrities wearily pretend not to notice that they're studiously being not noticed. Also Stefani and husband Gavin Rossdale made out. [The Cut]
• Claudia Schiffer, 39, has posed for an unretouched fashion cover and spread in Tank magazine. However, she is wearing makeup. [Telegraph]
• 13-year-old style blogger Tavi will be front row — with her dad — at Rodarte, due to her friendship with designers Kate and Laura Mulleavy. Tavi, who's on the cover of the current issue of Pop, is also reporting on the shows for the magazine. But the best part? She shops at Loehmann's with her mom. [WSJ]
• Eric Gaskins, the ex-designer behind the formerly anonymous blog The Emperor's Old Clothes, has a book deal and a television show in the works. [WWD]
• Last night, Zac Posen doused and stenciled four cream colored dresses worn live by model Anna Cleveland with paint. Because Fashion's Night Out is all about a) wearing pink leopard print capes to make grand entrances and b) stripping down to a tee shirt and getting one's hands dirty to "make people connect with the creative process." [USAToday]
• Nobody wanted to play Wii tennis with designer Chris Benz. And Justin Timberlake hid for an hour from screaming fans inside the bridal salon at Saks. [NYObs]
• Giorgio Armani says he has made a complete recovery from hepatitis. [AP]
• Peter Som, nobody should consider bread, chocolate, and cheese to be "guilty pleasures"! [GlamChic]
• The design duo behind label Libertine, Cindy Greene and Johnson Hartig, have split up. Hartig will take control over the line, and "return to its roots." [WWD]
• Vena Cava designers Lisa Mayock and Sophie Buhai have two special guests in from California at each one of their presentations: their mothers. [The Cut]
• Monique Lhuillier is pregnant, and due in November. She plans to name the daughter Sophia. Congratulations! [WWD]
• Life advice from Carolina Herrera: "You have to be so happy. You have to love what you are doing...life is complicated, but you have to make the best of it." [GlamChic]
• Remember how Thierry Mugler trumpeted his costume designs for Beyoncé's current tour? Turns out he may have had help from a high-profile freelancer, an experienced costume designer named Chris March. The Project Runway alum is suing Mugler for failing to pay for his services. March is also investigating starting his own line of women's wear with QVC. [WSJ]
• Dries Van Noten, after accepting his award from the Museum at FIT's Couture Council, asked to speak to FIT students. The hour-long Q&A covered everything from his aesthetic, design processes, and perspectives, to his business model. Van Noten founded his label without a backer, and remains self-owned today. "I don't have managers pushing me for fragrance licenses, but I'm informed. I know what Barneys is selling well. I'm known for flowers, but where others might be pressured to put a little bit of flowers in because that's what sells, I can still do a collection of black-and-white and checks," said the Belgian. [WWD]
• Tom Ford, on the release of his first film, A Single Man: "Of course I'm terrified because in a way it's the most personal thing I've ever done and it's the thing that is the most expressive of who I am." The main character, George, played by Colin Firth, is a middle-aged gay man who contemplates suicide following the death of his partner in a car crash. Ford says he based George's preparations for suicide on the actual suicide of a family member: "Someone did kill themselves in exactly that way — went to the store, bought a gun...went home and got a sleeping bag...laid everything out, got into the sleeping bag, zipped it up and killed himself because he didn't want to make a mess." Because it's an Isherwood adaptation, there will be lots of shots of men swimming naked, and playing tennis topless. [Reuters]
• The Buckle is continuing its peerless run of solid growth in sales and revenue, even during this recession. The retailer has now had ten consecutive quarters of same-store sales growth, and its second quarter net income rose 12%, to $25 million. [TS]
• Analysts are pleased by Ann Taylor's turnaround. Although the company announced a second quarter loss last month, stock has risen 21% since then. [Crain's]

• Kim Kardashian, has, obviously, created a perfume. "The fragrance really captures who I am," she says ominously. [WWD]
• Heather Mills continues her controversial career, launching a line of recycled, re-modelled, animal-friendly (good!) clothes (bad. Very, very bad.) [DailyMail]

• Oh, this is good. Philip Simon Footwear Group has teamed up with, um, the U.S. Army, to launch a line of shoes and bags, presumably aimed at Army-strong youngsters. Says the company, seemingly without irony, "We want to create a footwear line that expresses and conveys the ideals of the U.S. Army, but in a fashionable way... The patriotic homage combined with bright accent colors and cool styles will appeal to consumers across the board." [WWD]
• Gisele Bundchen's on the cover of September's Vogue India, and appears in a series of ensembles by Indian designers. Quoth the Brazilian bathing-suit queen, "I like the combination of traditional Indian clothing with an edge — and the fabrics and colours are beautiful." [ONTD]
• Talking about covers, find Lily Allen on British Elle's October issue. We'd have given her September. Okay, maybe not. [Sassybella]
• From WWD: "David Gandy's sculpted torso has joined Scarlett Johansson's voluptuous flesh in Dolce & Gabbana's beauty ads. Four athletic men in their skivvies are shooting hoops around model Stella Tennant in Saks Fifth Avenue's fall campaign. And the muscular limbs of Andrés Velencoso are peeking out from behind Christy Turlington's black leather wardrobe in Yves Saint Laurent's spots. Is it too soon to declare the return of the "himbo"?" Yes. It's always too soon. In fact, I prefer to believe that word doesn't exist. [WWD]
• And he's back! Private equity group Permira Advisers LLP has written down its stake in Valentino Fashion Group - again. Out of the Valentino Red? [WWD]
• Liberty of London is staying defiantly high-end: the iconic London store is teaming up with Hermès, who's running a six-week pop-up scarf and tie shop on the premises. [Telegraph]
• Hopefully this is win-win; Hermès' quarterly earnings fell below expectation. [FT]
• But! J. Crew's crew of adorable kids has done the trick: the prepsters beat Wall Street estimates for the quarter and only see things getting better. [The Street]
• Contrary to rumor, lovable hair-meister Chris March is not suing Beyonce for ripping him off - just Thierry Mugler and Tancrede Prinz LLC, who apparently kept the March-intended monies Beyonce paid them for costume services rendered. "Chris continues to be a fan and great admirer of Beyonce who looks beautiful in everything she wears, especially Chris's costumes." [Blogging Project Runway]
• Speaking of Project Runway: Daniel Vosovic launches a capsule collection in February, inspired by his love of gymnastics. "There is a whole fashion group of gays that go. For at least an hour and a half it's my therapy. When you see the 6-year-old girls walking by with their six-packs and chiseled triceps, it makes you want to be even better." [New York]
• And speaking of exercise: trainer to Madge and Gwynnie, Tracy Anderson, will be giving some kind of rareified, Goop-approved (presumably) exercise demo during Fashion's Night Out, so. [New York]
• Donatella Versace has brought Versus back form the dead, and the resurrected brand will premiere at Milan Fashion Week. Prediction: she will be tanned. [WWD]
• As you already knew, Tim Gunn is a superhero! Marvel is introducing Loaded Gunn, a comic set at the "New York Museum of Fashion." [WWD]

• On Tuesday night, hours after his sentencing, Chris Brown partied at a night club in Hollywood. His probation report says he can't drink or be in places that serve alcohol, but he may get off on a technicality.

• In her sentencing order, the judge never mentioned this restriction and the judge trumps the probation department. Still, what was he celebrating? [TMZ]
• Chris Brown was at the club with a male friend and a "woman he seemed to be clearly dating." "He was in a great mood," said a source. "He jumped on the top of the back booth and did Michael Jackson 's 'Dirty Diana.' He danced on top of the booth all night." [N.Y. Post]
• Chris Brown's mother Joyce has released a statement, saying, "I just want to say from the bottom of my heart thank you for your continued support. I'm sorry I wasn't allowed to speak to anyone as this case was ongoing. I can now say this has been the most painful moment in my entire life, but knowing that you were still standing by Chris side in his time of need made this a little easier for us... I made a promise to him I would never be ashamed of him no matter where I am or who I talk to. You see this whole thing isn't about Chris it's about God. He wants to show all of you the goodness of him through Chris. Chris will be addressing all of his fans very soon. We love you so much and so does God." [Necole Betchie]
• Jon Gosselin was spotted with a black eye and several stitches over he eyebrow. A source says, "It's nothing, he's fine, he hit a cabinet." But surely the tabloids will come up with a more salacious explanation. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin is taking his mom to Sin City. "I always promised my mom I'd take her to Vegas to see the shows and that kind of stuff," he says. "We're just going to do our own thing." [People]
• Gerard Butler was pictured with his hand on Jennifer Aniston's butt, and it doesn't appear that they were on set. [TMZ]
• Madonna was booed during a concert in Bucharest, Romania last night when she stopped the show to talk about the discrimination against "gypsies" in Eastern Europe. In the clip at the link she can be heard saying "god damn it" as the crowd shouts at her. [TMZ]
• The search warrant affidavit for Michael Jackson 's home said police found "tar heroin in a bag" in MJ's bedroom, marijuana and Benoguin bleaching cream. But a source connected to the case says the "tar heroin" was tested and was actually not heroin. [TMZ]
• Amy Winehouse appeared in public today with "freckles" on her nose, but it looks like she just drew dots on her nose with marker. [Daily Mail]
• Though earlier reports claimed George Clooney broke his hand in a motorcycle accident on the border of Italy and Switzerland, his rep says, "There was an accident and he did break his hand... He was not riding a motorcycle, it was not in Switzerland ... He was on his property in Italy and he shut the car door on his hand." [People]
• Police have discovered love letters Jasmine Fiore wrote to ex Michael Cardosi while he was in jail that may shed light on her murder. She met him at the prison gates when he was released four days before she was murdered and police found the letters when he was rearrested on the day her body was found for a parole violation. Police say he's not a suspect in her murder. [TMZ]
• Ryan O'Neal has fired William Slattery, the attorney who has represented his son Redmond O'Neal for years. "This came completely out of left field. Slattery was steadfast about protecting Redmond," says a source, who suggests Ryan may be exploiting Redmond. "Now there is talk of a reality show that Ryan is supposedly trying to arrange, a show that would feature Redmond's battle with addiction." [Radar Online]
• A source close to Ryan O'Neal says reports that Redmond will star in a reality show are untrue. [UPI]
• John Mayer offered a $25,000 charitable donation for the publication of his mug shot, which was taken after a 2001 arrest for speeding, via Twitter. TMZ and The Smoking Gun are having some kind of competition over who posted it first. The unremarkable mug shot is at the link: [The Smoking Gun]
• An arbitrator has found that Jeremy Piven did not violate his contract when he pulled out of Speed The Plow due to a case of mercury poisoning. [N.Y. Times]
• Fox is developing the 1989 film Heathers into a TV show. [Variety]
• Project Runway's Chris March has filed a lawsuit against the costume designers for Beyoncé 's world tour because he says they didn't pay him for designing some of her costumes. [E!]
• Beyoncé will perform her song "Sweet Dreams" at the VMAs on September 13. [AP]
• Laura Linney will star in a TV series on Showtime called The C Word, in which her character is diagnosed with cancer. [Variety]
• In the video at the link Kim Zolciak offers her opinions on other celebs who wear wigs, including Tyra Banks and Britney Spears. [People]
• Mike Pihl, star of the History Channel show Ax Men was arrested in Oregon for rolling his Jeep into a ditch while his three children were unbuckled inside. The car rolled three times and police think alcohol was involved. [TMZ]
• AC/DC refused to call off an outdoor show in Edmonton, Canada on Tuesday night when a huge thunderstorm hit, but they were forced to pause when a giant inflatable devil horn attached to the side of the rigging on stage collapsed. [Daily Express]
• Helen Mirren has joined the cast of the film Brighton Rock, which is based on Graham Greene's novel of the same name. [Variety]
• Star believes Shania Twain is going to marry Frédéric Thiébaud , the ex-husband of her former best friend who broke up her marriage, because the two are wearing promise rings. [Star Magazine]
• Paula Abdul is in talks to star in a revue-style stage show in Las Vegas. [N.Y. Post]
• Kristin Chenoweth will guest judge an episode of American Idol in place of Paula Abdul . [People]
• Kim Kardashian is going to executive produce a new reality show about public relations starring her two friends who work at Command PR. Kim will occasionally appear on the show and says, "Every week we'll have a different celebrity and a different crisis and drama." [People]
• Brazilian banker Andre Pinto says Jordan used him as a "sex toy" then dumped him when she didn't need him. Also, she would only have sex in the dark and didn't like having her boobs touched. [The Sun]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is dating again now that her 16-year marriage is over but says "I just want to have a good time" and rejected a guy Jill Zarin suggested because he's too old. "I'm going younger baby — under 50," she says. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Gabourey Sidibe says of Precious co-star Mariah Carey , "Mariah and I would sit and talk about fashion and perfume and jewelry. It was like sitting in junior high and talking to your bestie." [People]
• "Whenever I can be physical it helps me a lot with the actual acting aspect. I prefer it. If I could just be either beating someone up or getting my ass beaten in every scene I would love it. It's so sexy." — Megan Fox [The Sun]
• Serena Williams says in her memoir that people are too obsessive about weight, but that she also feels insecure about her body sometimes. She says: "I think every female does that. We think we look good one day, and then the next day -– or the next minute -– we're insecure about something. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and am like, 'I want to lose my inner thigh. I've got to do an hour of cardio today,' or whatever. I try not to do it, but the insecurity comes back sometimes. I do want to look good still; I do want to be healthy." She adds that she thinks her troublesome body parts are "My thighs. I think they're too big. But also my arms. I think they're too muscular. They're too thick... I'm sensitive about them. I know that toned arms are in now. Look at Michelle Obama. She has great arms, and I think it's wonderful that she shows them off like that! I love her for that. I'm like, 'keep wearing strapless dresses!' But I don't like mine." [People]

Some fans are worried about the ads that Lifetime has produced, reports Jim Farber for the NY Daily News. Instead of bitchy, campy snippets of designers arguing, the Runway spots, Farber writes, feature the contestants "bathed in tender light and serenaded by Yanni-soft music." Farber says that some bloggers are crying that "Lifetime is going to KILL" the show.

But the judges of PR — Nina Garcia, Tim Gunn, Heidi Klum and Michael Kors — have confidence in the core concept. In roundtable conversation, Klum tells Newsweek: "I think so many people are afraid of us moving to L.A. But honestly, I've always said that we can shoot Project Runway on the moon, because we're sort of in our own Project Runway world." And Gunn adds: "We were only there for a couple of days and I was reminded that before World War II, Hollywood was really the center of American fashion."

One thing that Lifetime is definitely doing right? A first-ever two-hour special Project Runway All-Star Challenge, which airs August 20. Fan faves Santino Rice, Daniel Vosovic, Uli Herzner, Mychael Knight, Jeffrey Sebelia, Chris March, Sweet P and Korto Momolu will come back and compete against each other for a $100,000 cash prize.

But as Farber points out, PR's former network, Bravo, is "finely attuned" to "the nuances of greed, vanity and false pride"; whereas Lifetime is "rigidly sincere." We'll have to wait and see whether PR is as bitchy and addictive as we remember… or if the new network (and the California sun) have mellowed its message.

'Project' Revamp: Leaving Its Edgy Bravo Home, Will 'Runway' Be The Letdown Of A Lifetime? [NY Daily News]
Auf With Their Heads: The ‘Project Runway' Roundtable [Newsweek]
'Project Runway': We Catch Up With 8 All-Stars [EW]

• Twilight clothing is happening — it's only surprising it took so long. The duds go on sale at Nordstrom in October. Selina Khan, on the right, looks like she just doesn't care about Edward or Jacob, bless her heart. [People]

• Amazon.com is acquiring Zappos.com. The cost? $847 million. [NYTimes]
• Wonder Woman Lynda Carter will be live in person at Talbot's for Fashion Night Out, a night of special sales and events designed to encourage consumers to shop at the start of New York Fashion Week. Carter will be at Talbot's Madison Avenue store to promote her new CD, "At Last." [WWD]
• Meanwhile, France is one step closer to allowing shops to open on Sundays after the bill was narrowly approved by the senate. Mon dieu! [WWD]
• Barney's New York took down a disturbing window display that featured bloodied mannequins, posed as though they were struggling against assailants. And here we thought Simon Doonan's judgment was impeccable in all things. [NYDN]
• The actress Melissa George has invented a new product which she calls "HemmingMyWay." Geddit! The Grey's star, along with her business partner Kara Harshbarger, plans to sell clear adhesive strips with snaps affixed that allow a wearer to quickly adjust the length of her pants when she changes from flats to heels. Look, it even has a Facebook page! [WWD]
• Amy Winehouse's father wants her to license her name to a perfume house for £500,000. [Telegraph]
• And Lily Allen is doing a line of jewelry. "I love jewelry, always have done," explains the pop star. [Vogue UK]
• A 1994 Arte documentary about Yves Saint Laurent, Tout Terriblement, is being released on DVD. [WWD]
• In London next Thursday, a Chanel-themed flash mob has been announced. Anyone wearing Chanel, or Chanel-esque outfits should meet like-minded sartorial souls at St. Pancras International Station at 6 p.m. [UK Elle]
• 19-year-old Georgian Sean O'Pry topped Forbes' list of the highest-earning male models. There are pictures. [Forbes]
• Retail executives' pay fell last year. The 10 top-earning executives compensation packages decreased by 9.4%. [WWD]
• Could Fabiola Beracasa really be developing a reality show in the style of Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations, where she flies around the world looking for...unusual fashion? [P6]
• Daniel Vosovic, Santino Rice, Korto Momolu, Sweet P, Jeffrey Sebelia, Uli Herzner, Mychael Knight and Chris March are the designers returning to Project Runway for a second helping of Tim Gunn's soothing drone and Heidi Klum's adenoidal exhortations. Project Runway: All-Star Challenge will be broadcast as a two-hour special before the show's sixth season premiere. All we want to know is whatever happened to Andrae? [People]
• Jeremy Scott is yet another designer heading to London Fashion Week this fall. Though based in Los Angeles, Scott normally shows in Paris. [WWD]
• MAC cosmetics is ending its sponsorship of fashion week, and instead holding its own competing roster of shows at Milk studios in Chelsea. Proenza Schouler, Erin Fetherston, and Alexander Wang have already committed to slots in the lineup. [NYTimes]
• Alex Wang on his day off, according to his friend Ryan Korban: "We do a lot of driving around - he loves driving. So we drive out to Brooklyn and just kind of cruise around. He's always got the music blasting and he's singing. It's surprising, but he's a really good driver. He's screaming and the music is to the max and he's drinking an iced coffee, but he's completely steady." [W]
• Esteban Cortazar is out at Emanuel Ungaro, WWD is reporting. The young Colombian designer had clashed with the house's management over advertising and the brand's direction; his collections met with mixed reviews, and at last month's resort show, the Ungaro CEO refused to say if Cortazar would be kept on. No successor has yet been named. [WWD]
• The quirky downtown gallery Partners & Spade got written about in the Times. Oh well — nothing good lasts forever. [NYTimes]
• Ozwald Boateng, the Ghana-born, London-based all-round spectacular menswear designer and tailor, made two suits for President Obama and hand-delivered them to the American ambassador to Ghana during the president's recent visit. If Obama wore Boateng's suits, nobody would call him frumpy, ever. [WWD]
• Another story about Crocs and what they mean. [LATimes]
• The New York Economic Development Corporation-run industry site NYCFashionInfo.com, which collates insidery arcana like designer showroom contacts and market week dates, might start accepting advertising and publishing more "lifestyle content" because it only attracts 2,000 visitors a month. [WWD]
• Apparel sales in England in the month of June rose by 1.2%. [FT]
• Skechers lost $5.9 million in the second quarter. The result was actually better than analysts had expected. [WWD]>

• Sean Penn: Lousy gay lover! Diego Luna was asked about kissing Sean for Milk and said, "It was...dry." He added: "I guess he was thinking about Franco." But costar James Franco claims kissing Sean was "fine." Not hot, steamy, fun. Fine. [E!]
• Britney's youngest son, Jayden, has been released from the hospital. He was rushed to the emergency room on Sunday is because he had an allergic reaction to something he ate. The 2-year-old had hives, was itchy and irritable. The family is "just not sure" what triggered the reaction. [Page Six, TMZ]
• Madonna had a dinner party at her apartment and invited her non-Kabbalah friends, so they could meet her "friend" Alex Rodriguez. [Mirror]
• Madonna let Guy see his sons! There's a picture of Rocco and David at the airport, hugging Guy. Apparently Madonna has a list of demands that Guy must meet while the kids are with him in London. It includes a ban on TV, non-organic food and clothes not sent by her. For some reason, can't you picture Guy getting the kids hopped up on sugar and Disney cartoons? [Daily Mail]
• People and Us Weekly put Barack Obama on their covers, and those issues sold extremely well. America wasn't interested in Jennifer Aniston or Suri Cruise last week? Really? [MSNBC]

• Will a Barack Obama documentary sweep the Emmys? It's co-produced by Ed Norton… [LA Times]
• Malia and Sasha Obama might get to visit the set of Hannah Montana! "The invitation is there," Billy Ray Cyrus says. "The Hannah Montana film comes out in April. Maybe something might happen around then. Maybe not. I don’t know… I have got to keep a secret." Uh, too late! [Access Hollywood]
• Michelle Williams' dad, Larry Williams, a prominent stock market trader, has agreed to return to the U.S. to face tax evasion charges. He's been in Australia, though he's actually a resident of the Virgin Islands. He possibly owes $1.5 million in unpaid taxes. [Yahoo News]
• Here's a snippet from the Blake Lively interview in W magazine: "Lively doesn’t even attempt to hide her glee at all the freebies foisted upon her, from designer dresses and diamond bangles to an utterly insane number of pricey purses. 'I probably have, like, 60 gorgeous bags,' she says. 'I have a closet with my really sharp, fancy, nice ones—the ones that go with my Valentino pumps, for example. And then I have a closet with the ones that are a little more rugged-feeling, the kind that go with my Belstaff motorcycle boots.'" [W]
• Juliette Lewis met Ed Westwick and said, "Who is this guy?" Someone's not watching Gossip Girl. He's Chuck Bass! [Rush & Molloy]
• The creators of Gossip Girl say the show is like "a chess game." See, "Chuck and Blair are the king and queen. Everyone else, except Serena, is a pawn.” Hmm, isn't the show more like Trouble, what with the pop-o-matic dice and the moving in circles? Wait, what was the question again? [People]
• Amy Winehouse "lost it" after finding out Blake Fielder-Civil contacted the "other woman" when he got out of jail. Blake Formerly Incarcerated says, "She hasn’t dumped me. We both love each other and will be together for ever. We have spoken on the phone and I’m expecting a visit from her any time now. We can’t wait to be back together." Keep hope alive! [The Sun]
• When asked about the rumors linking him to Evan Rachel Wood, Mickey Rourke said, "She's a good friend, that's it. Tell that faggot who wrote all that shit in the paper I'd like to break his fucking legs." Whoops! Mickey's sorry! Rourke has released a statement which reads, "I want to sincerely apologize for the derogatory word I used. It was insensitive and inappropriate of me and I am deeply sorry that I may have offended anyone." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Nicole Kidman was on Oprah yesterday, and at O's urging, she pulled out a picture of her baby, Sunday Rose. [Perez Hilton]
• Speaking of Nicole, something is up with her new flick, Australia. The studio forced director Baz Luhrmann to change the ending, but don't click unless you want to know, this entire article is a spoiler alert. [LA Times]
• Mariah Carey's demands for the World Music Awards: A £100,000 private jet transport to the ceremony in Monte Carlo and a £10,000-a-night penthouse suite at the exclusive Hotel de Paris for two nights. Plus! VIP treatment for her 15-member entourage. [Daily Mail]
• Mariah was on Simon Cowell's X Factor over the weekend, and some people are saying it was one of her worst performances ever. Click for video and judge for yourself. (My 2¢: Her voice is not what it used to be.) [The.Life Files]
• Blind item! "Which proud new papa isn't much of a family guy? The handsome actor, notorious for having a roving eye, was spotted leaving a downtown hot spot with the beautiful bartender." [Rush & Molloy]
• Evan Rachel Wood claims the Obama camp wanted Marilyn Manson to play for Barack. A spokesperson says, "That it not true." [Yahoo News]
• Isaiah Washington is speaking out about Brooke Smith being fired from Grey's Anatomy: "I looked at a brilliant actress, whom I have adored since I first saw her in Silence of the Lambs. For her to be treated this way, I find very interesting. The fact is that, just before the holidays, you have a mother, a wonderful actress removed from a steady income without the proper reasoning behind it…You look at the way another consummate professional [is] being treated because her character, her story line [has] potentially made producers uncomfortable. Now that I see what they're doing to a show that I love and I care about, I think it's disgusting. The fact that Shonda has been put in this position is extremely unfair. It's unfortunate because it was probably, at the time, the most progressive show on television. Now I see it [being] systematically torn apart. Bring Burke back!" Yeah, that's right, Burke. Not Brooke. He's talking about himself, you see. [Perez Hilton
• Oh dear: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt will guest star on How I Met Your Mother. Well, at least Heidi's psuedo-employed after losing her fake job. [E!, People]
• America Ferrera will star and executive produce a drama called American Tragic, about a young war vet who sets off across the country with a buddy to find redemption. Ferrera will play his wife. [Variety]
• Queen Latifah will host the People's Choice Awards on January 7. [Variety]
• Are Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel getting married or not? (Seems like "not.") [MSNBC]
• Tim Robbins is still battling the New York City board of elections. Did he show up to the wrong polling place? Or did they change his location without him knowing? [Page Six, NY Times]
• Regis Philbin gave his old elementary school $1.5 million in 2005; it's since been shut down. Think he wishes he had the cash back? [Page Six]
• Will Eminem's new CD come out on time? There was a December due date, but a source says, "He is being a perfectionist and is completely obsessive-compulsive about this album. There's a 50-50 chance it will be done by the end of this year - but most likely it'll be the first quarter of next year." After this long, why rush? [Page Six]
• NBC's Medium returns in January with new castmember Tracy Pollan, aka Mrs. Michael J. Fox. [EW]
• In Roger Moore's memoir, you learn that that during the filming of Live and Let Die, his first Bond flick, he had kidney stones, so he took a painkiller, methylene, that both knocked him out and turned his urine blue. He woke up in the middle of the night, mistook his closet for a bathroom and peed all over his clothes, "dying them a delightful azure." [Time]
• Kelsey Grammer on Sarah Palin: "I don't know that she doesn't know that Africa is a continent… And if I read it in the New York Times, I have to get a second source." Damn librul media! [TMZ]
• The Dallas reunion was a Texas-sized mess! Hundreds more people than expected showed up for Saturday night's barbecue and cast reunion at Southfork Ranch; angry fans complained they didn't get the access to cast members they'd paid $500 to see; while others got close to the stars without paying. [Yahoo News]
• By the by, Mayim Bialik, the star of '90s sit com Blossom, had a baby about a month or two ago. Her second child, a boy named Fred. [TMZ]
• Former boy band mogul, Lou Perlman, is discussed in a new book, and the consensus is the dude is "creepy" and tried to "wrestle" with the boys he managed. Perlman's currently serving a 25-year jail sentence for conspiracy, money laundering, etc. [Rush & Molloy]
• Actress Gong Li: Being called a traitor, because she's decided to become a Singaporean citizen. (She was born and raised in China.) [Breitbart]
• Tony Dow, who played Wally on Leave It To Beaver, will have one of his abstract sculptures on display at the Louvre. Upgrade! [Yahoo News]
• Headline of the day: "Fleetwood Mac's Lindsey Buckingham wants to play a song for President George W Bush called 'Treason.'" [Telegraph]
• WTF. Another William Shatner video, in which he talks shit about George Takei. [Perez Hilton]
• James Cromwell, who starred in the Babe movies, is recovering from a broken collarbone and partially deflated lung after falling off of his bicycle in an L.A.-area canyon on Sunday. He should be out of the hospital now. That'll do! [AP]
• Geri Halliwell has dumped her "toyboy" lover, dancer Ivan "Flipz" Velez. He's devastated. Maybe his new middle name will be "Mopez." [Mirror]
• Here's a rare photograph of Marilyn Monroe in stockings and garters. [Telegraph]
• Chris March of Project Runway was interviewed by a snarky New York magazine editor and wasn't really amused. The writer was mocking Seal's facial scars, though, so: Team March. [NY Mag]
• Beyoncé says offers have come in from magazines wanting wedding pictures and it's "crazy money that's just ridiculous." Don't worry, B is classier than that: "It's so not worth it. If anything, if you wanna put something out, then put it out, not for (money). We worked really hard at keeping it private. I've always been this way, and he's always been this way, so that's why we complement each other. We always knew that it would be private and quiet, for all the right reasons." [AP]
• Here's a lovely poem Chuck Norris has written about Barack Obama's "political stink." It rhymes! [E&P Pub]
• "He’s never let himself become a lost cause. He’s hardcore and very strong. Off-duty he flies his own plane and helicopter and he insists on doing as many of his own stunts as possible. It’s him riding the bikes and throwing the punches — he doesn’t palm it off to a stunt man." — Jamie Milnes, Harrison Ford's personal trainer, on working with him for Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. [Telegraph]
• "I thought it would be easy to cast a Bond girl, because there are so many beautiful women in this world. But not many of them can act. Their acting needed to be really strong and three-dimensional. Historically, the role of women in the world has changed. You can't have someone in a Bond film just as a sex object. [But] they have to be sexy and beautiful. That's what people expect, and that's what Bond is about." — Quantum Of Solace director Marc Forster. [Esquire]
• "I call her 'The Mouse.' And The Mouse holds on to the edge of a chair now and is gaining the confidence to think, 'Maybe these legs belong to me.' I keep telling Nicole that it's a bad sign, because once those legs gain confidence, then they're out of here!" — Lionel Richie on 10-month-old granddaughter Harlow. [People]
• "She taught me the importance of looking good and feeling good but also that beauty comes from within, because it fades. I looked at her like a therapist and a makeover queen –- the perfect glamorous smart woman. People would walk in, talk to her and tell her their issues and they'd walk out feeling and looking like a new woman." — Beyoncé, on her mother, who owned a hair salon when B was a kid. [People]
• "It's cool when you have a movie where you can show another side of yourself, like this one does. The movie is not going to be successful, I don't think. It's not the usual Van Damme action movie, so I'm not really kicking butt. People who know me, they know my story, that I came with nothing and because famous with martial arts. I did the movie because it felt good to do something like that. [I won't do a reality show because] I don't want to expose my family or even my animals to the cameras all the time. You can't even go to the toilet because they shove a camera up your butt. I would probably throw the camera out the window. They did approach me once, though — the channel with the guy with the long hair. Gene Simmons? [Checks with son.] No, it was Ozzy Osbourne, who's a big teddy bear. A letter came to my desk and he wanted to know if I'd do a reality show. Bad or good, only God should know what you're doing at all times." — Jean-Claude Van Damme. [WSJ]
• "It was OK. I wasn’t into the waif thing. She kind of looked like my nephew. I mean she’s beautiful – she’s a very pretty nephew – but I’m more into curvy women." — Mark Wahlberg on posing with Kate Moss in those 1992 Calvin Klein ads. [The Sun]
• "I'm running a business. And sometimes being the boss of your own empire and creation, you have to be assertive. Being a female, that comes with being labeled a 'bitch' and given titles that men wouldn’t receive. But if that’s what I’m going to be called by being assertive and knowing who I am and what I want out of life, so be it. I wear that label proudly." — Christina Aguilera in Rolling Stone. [MSNBC]
• "I apparently offended some animal lovers. Um, really people? I love animals as much as anyone, I don't eat pork – so for those of you fighting that good fight against me ... shut up! I was just pointing out the fact that people in California seem to care more about animal rights than human rights … I'm not running around killing chickens for fun or firing a slingshot at a squirrel." — Samantha Ronson, resonding to people who were offended by her Prop 2 vs. Prop 8 post. [People]
• "[I said] 'Sen. Obama, when you were in school in Boston, did you encounter any racism?' And he said something really interesting. He said, um. He said, 'I'm Kanye West.'" — Sarah Silverman. [Page Six]

Season 1 winner Jay McCarroll says of his burlap cocktail-length dress, "We need to live within our means and get back to basics."

But for his spring 2007 collection, Jay designed this citrusy gown and this metallic gown. Either one could be an elegant choice for Michelle Obama!

Season 1 finalist Austin Scarlett created this washed burlap strapless gown.

Here's a more formal choice, from Austin Scarlett's line, Kenneth Pool.

Season 2 semifinalist Kara Janx made a dress "about patriotism and change, with a pop culture spirit."

But can you picture Michelle Obama in one of Kara's famous kimonos? The gold trim adds a more glamorous touch.

Malan Breton of Season 3 cut the stars out of the flag and used them to highlight his dress.

But a more simple, regal shape from his 2009 spring collection seems more fitting for a First Lady.

Mychael Knight, Season 3 semifinalist, created a "youthful and sexy" gown. "She’s becoming the first lady, not an old lady!"

Mychael's designs are so youthful and so sexy (think: leather bikinis) that the only appropriate gown to be found was this one from an old episode of Project Runway. Still, Ms. Obama could rock this.

Alison Kelly of Season 3 says she "thought back to the Great Depression and remembered Coco Chanel’s dropped waist silhouette" when she dreamed up this black gown.

But what if she took this top from her line, Dahl by Alison Kelly, and lengthened it into a dress? It has a quiet yet impactful "wow" factor. And Michelle Obama has great shoulders.

LOL. This is from the lovable Chris March, Season 4. Due to dire financial straits, "The first lady will have to resort to wearing a barrel. Of course, hers will be glamorous."

Checking out Chris March's site, it was tough to find anything Michelle Obama-appropriate. This was the best I could do. It's very "after the revolution," no?

Rami Kashou of Season 4 used draping, of course. The stripes are awfully distracting, though.

Could Michelle Obama wear a Rami Kashou divine golden goddess number instead?

Last, but not least: Season 5 winner Leanne Marshall. Her gown features a dramatic collar and "a very full, pocketed sweeping skirt of 50 horizontally paneled potato sacks." Not bad, but…

This beautiful dress from Leanne's final collection would be much, much better.

The Ball Gown Challenge [The Daily Beast]

Related: Jay McCarroll
Austin Scarlett
Kara Janx
Mychael Knight
Dahl By Alison Kelly
Chris March
Rami Kashou
Leanimal

Suede's ensemble for Hedda Lettuce involved lots of drama, but hello, drag queens! The whole thing about his grandfather spreading seeds on the outfit and planting baby lettuce creeped me out, to be honest.

Kenley's Old Hollywood getup was Mae West-esque. Not terribly innovative, but befitting her client.

I am not a fan of Jerrell's color choices. This is the second time he has used putrid green and I find it nauseating. Poor LeMay looked puketastic.

Leanne's techno paper airplane thingie was okay, I guess. Whatevs.

The judges thought Keith's "wookie onsie" looked like a "sad chicken" or a "puzzle."

Stella does what Stella does best: Grommets.

Blayne's outfit made me sing, "Take… these broken wings… and learn to fly again, learn to live so free…"

I quite liked Korto's hot flash woman. Those sculptural flames are awesome.

You guys, Terri was robbed. ROBBED. I thought this was epic. Amazing. Mythic. Blade Runner meets Galliano. McQueen on acid. J'adore!

Joe was the winner of the challenge. Even though I liked Terri's outfit better, I did think Joe's client looked great and seemed super happy. Plus, there's a kind of beautiful irony in the straight guy winning the drag challenge. Congrats!

So long, Daniel. We'll miss you and your exquisite taste.

Project Runway Season 5 [Bravo]

The Good:
I can't really explain my love for Adam Duritz. Or for his insane suit.


Chris March gets points in my book anytime he's not wearing an outfit trimmed in human hair.


1) OMG it's David Byrne! 2) OMG it's Cindy Sherman...in Prada.


In the spirit of John Waters, I love Kathleen Turner's tacky suit.


The Bad:
I so badly want to get my hands on Debbie Harry and give her a head-to-toe makeover. Girlfriend needs to learn about Rodarte. Or Chris Benz, even! Why is she wearing such weirdly dated looks and not seeking out the best of intellectual fashion? End rant.


I want to grow up to be a crazy cat lady just Estelle Parsons.


This is not the right dress for Hairspray star Nikki Blonsky.


Dear Ricki Lake: It's not nice to steal clothes off of drag queen's backs.


Rocco DiSpirito: Looking more and more like Siegfried and Roy's lost brother every day.


The Ugly:
OK, I think John Waters looks awesome. But we all know he would be insulted if he weren't placed in this category.

[Images via Getty.]

• Georgio Armani is co-chairing a dinner to celebrate a Vogue-sponsored Costume Institute exhibit called "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy." Which is why he gave a press conference during which he professed to be "indifferent" to Anna Wintour while standing next to her. We assume he'll be too dead to make it to dinner. [NY Mag]
  
• Then again: the shocking new garment industry tell-all Gomorrah says Italian fashion is really just the Mafia so maybe Georgio knows what he's doing. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Model Gemma Ward's film debut The Black Balloon takes top prize at he Berlin Festival. [Sassybella]

• I grow increasingly obsessed with Victoria Beckham and Marc Jacobs as each new ad starring Posh as the face of MJ's Spring 2008 collection is revealed. Vicks as a naughty dark angel? Love. [Chic Report]
• Project Runway bitch slap! Chris Marc says Christian Siriano is going to be designing for K-Mart soon enough. [AdAge]
• Eva Herzigova: Doesn't need a swimwear line now that she has a son. "[The line] was my little baby. But since I have my own now, it's really hard to follow... Unless I get a license deal, I don't think I'll do it." See ladies, if your career is as pointless/lucrative as modeling and celebrity guest design, you don't have to feel any guilt about giving it up to have babies! [WWD, 3rd item]
• Hayden Panettierre is the new face of Candie's footwear. [Sassybella]
• Ooh la la! Former Dior Homme designer Hedi Slimane is going to be shooting the haute couture collections for French Vogue. [WWD, 4th item]
• 15-year old Russian designer Kira Plastinina on who she hopes to see in her designs, "I like Paris, I like Vanessa Hudgens, I like the High School Musical girls, and Rihanna. I love Rihanna." [Chic Report]
• Yves Saint Laurent is once again pretending that advertising is political activism. [Vogue UK]
• A line of body shapers called Yummie Tummie. [WWD, sub req'd]
• The British fashion industry is blaming its second-tier status in the fashion world on the absence of enough factories to produce its wares. Uh...because Jakarta and Dhaka are totally the new fashion capitals. [Reuters] [WWD, sub req'd]

Christian is really talented. Bratty and immature, yes, but also really talented. His look, based on a painting of a male Spanish soldier/nobleman and his black jodhpurs and ginormous white blouse and vest combo, was very, to borrow a classic Nina-ism, "editorial". It was beautifully made. It was dramatic. And though it was sorta crazy and super bold, it was somehow still wearable. Also, Roberto Cavalli, whose sentences had to be subtitled because his accent is indecipherable, said that he could tell it was made with love. It made no sense, and yet it rang true! Christian won and is off to Fashion Week! After seeing his show last week, I suspect his entire collection was based on this painting, too. He is clearly the one to beat.

Also going to Bryant Park is queen of my heart, Jillian. I love this girl! Her outfit was based on a painting of the Argonauts at battle and I thought she had the most interesting, wearable, fashion-forward look of the bunch. In a way, her piece was more inventive than Christian's, because it showed you don't have to make a shirt the size of a pup tent to do something bold and attention-getting. Also? The dress, the jacket? Hot. You have to love Jillian's humility: The way she finally told Christian that she just couldn't deal with him and his attitude; the way she told Tim how lucky she felt to be a part of this process; the way she graciously said, "That would be an honor" when Mr. Cavalli told her he'd love to have her on his staff; and the way she genuinely thanked the judges when they informed her she would also be showing in Bryant Park. Jillian+Jen4Eva.

Sweet P is out of the running. Who among us did not see this coming? She's a real sweet lady. But she's out of her league on this show. As I stated last week, maybe she could just open a cupcake shop instead? I'm not sure if fashion is her destiny, even if her decoy show in Bryant Park last week was more impressive than I expected. Her inspiration? A painting of a peacock. She made a "eh, wearable" dress (as Michael Kors put it) that had little to do with the panting and even less to do with exciting design. It did, however, garner this laugh-out-loud comment from Roberto Cavalli: "What is more fantasy than peacock tail?"

Then, in the weirdest stunt ever pulled on this show, Heidi informed Rami and Chris March that the judges were split on which one of them should be out and which of them should proceed to Fashion Week. So she said that the day before the show, they would each have to present the judges with their three strongest looks, and then the judges would decide who would be in and who would be out. Which is bullshit: Why not just let both of them show? What point, other than debasing my beloved Project Runway with Survivor-type gambits, is there to this system if the whole point of the finale is that their final runway collections are evaluated? I call Bullshit.

Rami, unsurprisingly, did something draped. In all fairness, they did turn him loose in the Greek and Roman sculpture court. But then they ripped him a new one during judging, telling him all he does is make pretty and wearable clothes but that he makes the same stuff every single week and that he has to stop draping. Rami responded by (sorta) screaming, "What's wrong with draping? What's so bad about draping?" Awkward! Then Roberto Cavalli got fresh and told Rami that he needs to do more to prove why he should be in this competition; I feared Rami was going to pull a Santino-going-postal-on-Nina. Scary.

Then there's Chris March. I just love him, because I think he's a nice guy and is, thankfully, the biggest jolt of personality we've seen this season. His dress was very pretty and dramatic and — another favorite Nina-ism! — expensive-looking. But as the judges pointed out, Chris's dress, based on a painting of a French noblewoman, bore an uncanny resemblance to the couture dress that he had made with Christian a few weeks prior. This made Chris cry. But Chris also cried happy tears when Roberto Cavalli said that the dress was his favorite and that he expected to see Chris show in Paris at couture in the very near future. But I thought Tim Gunn was going to cry when he discovered Chris napping while the others were working. There is no napping on Project Runway. You work, you freak, you fight with the other contestants, you freak some more, you get back to work. But you don't nap. It's disrespectful and arrogant on Christian-like proportions. Chris, you broke my heart a little with this one.

Next week: The reunion special, where surely, Ricky will cry and Kevin will tell everyone how straight he is again, but in the meantime: Who wins the Rami vs. Chris battle???? I'm not going to be able to sleep for two weeks.

At last: Chris March wins! I mean, if the master of all things campy can't win a fucking women's wrestling challenge, well... he can and he did. Anyway, the best part about Chris's win is that he was the only one who didn't seem to be judging the challenge or the woman who served as his client. He loved her, she client loved him, and they both loved leopard print. Also, big snaps to Chris for calling attention to the fact that his co-designers would be a lot more excited about this challenge if the outfits were to be worn by men. Which raises an excellent question: Why hasn't there ever been a drag challenge on this show? (And why do I feel like Michael Kors would be excited to judge it?)

I have to admit that I would've been okay had Christian won this week; his Prince-inspired leather and lace combo was, to use his favorite word, fierce. In fact, Christian himself admitted that the design was his favorite of everything he'd designed all season. Also: What's not to love about spandex pleather chaps?

Another favorite design? Jillian's. Plus, the footage of Jillian watching DVDs of women's wrestling and grunting, hollering and cheering along with it? Amazing. And just like Richie Rich of Heatherette (Rich and co-designer Trevor Raines were last night's guest judges), I love booty shorts. And apparently, so does Nina Garcia, who championed Jillian's look as her favorite.

Oy; where to begin? I am sick and tired of witnessing Rami freak out every time a challenge isn't suited to his "design sensibility". At least he didn't mention that he's from Jerusalem and blame that on his being too fashion-forward to comprehend such a basic task.

Sweet P. could not have sucked any more this week. She got to work with the reigning WWE Diva champ, a self-described "sex kitten," and all she could think of was a look that Tim Gunn described as "Eva Gabor in Green Acres," (I'd call it more Plan 9 From Outer Space). Regardless, the outfit was not only uninspired but poorly constructed. She should just give up on fashion design and open up a cupcake shop. Also, what was up with her challenging Christian to an arm wrestle? And is it wrong that I loved that he kicked her ass?

Lastly, there was Ricky, who made an orange bathing suit. Oh, and a lame-ass cover-up that was accurately described as a "disco hair-cut smock." Honestly: A bathing suit? Nothing else? And did anyone else find it ironic that the one week that Ricky didn't cry he also lost? Maybe he needs to take a page from Hillary Clinton. (Kidding. Kidding!!)

Proof there is no God: Ricky won a challenge! (So unacceptable on so many levels.) While staring slack-jawed at the screen after his win, a friend who works in design for one of the major American designers, said, "My God, that looks like Sweetface." ("Sweetface" = J. Lo's clothing line = Not Good.) The only good part of Ricky's win? The fact that is that the praise bestowed on him made him cry. It was amazing. But, with any luck, Ricky will finally be out next week. Bitch and his hats have got to go.


Onto who should've won this week: Rami. Though his cry-baby attitude last week was a total turn-off, the denim look he created week was a major turn-on. Something about it just screamed "naughty flight attendant," which is, truth be told, one of my favorite strangely-cliched design looks. He was the only one, I felt, who really did anything with the materials given last night. I was crazy for the look. I was not crazy, however, about Rami blaming every little thing on the fact that he was raised in Jerusalem. "I'm not an American designer," he bitched while bare-chested, save for a small cross around his neck, "I was raised in Jerusalem! Three major religions are fighting one another there!"


Christian managed to make pant legs out of jacket sleeves and behave like like an irrepressible egomaniac. And he was mean to Chris March, saying, "I know a lot more than you do." Also, have you noticed how he puts a princess-seamed sleeve on everything he makes? If I were in charge, I would put Rami on draping restriction and Christian on princess seam and ruffle detail restriction. As Christian would say, "Makes me feel barfy."


I would be wrong in neglecting to praise Sweet P for her ability to bail herself out of trouble, which she did with great aplomb last night. Although she wanted to make a denim patchwork maxi-dress (see earlier posts on additional reasons why it's probable that Sweet P has dropped a little too much acid),Tim told her how to fix it, and she did, for once.


Mr. March was not fine form. He made a halter dress that looked, simply, sad. (Perhaps he was just off his game after being mocked?) No matter: Sad design = sad judges = sad viewers.


Speaking of sad, Jillian really took the cake by making a coat and concurrently having something resembling a minor breakdown. And these weren't just Ricky-style crocodile tears; they were dangerous to oneself or others kind of tears. (She also claimed she kept poking herself with needles. Um, draw your own conclusions.)



Lastly: Victorya. After behaving like a royal bitch all season and taking all the credit for Jillian's design last week, she got dropped from the show like a hot potato. But not before taking a denim jacket and sewing a skirt to it, which, in short, sucked. As did her behavior post-boot: She didn't even have the decency to hug the others goodbye or even say goodbye after Tim told her she needed to go to the workroom and clean up her space. The only person who seemed sad to see her go was Christian: But of course it takes a bitch to know one.

Words I never thought I would say: I was thrilled that Christian won. I was so charmed by his work this week that I was able to keep myself from throwing things at my TV when he proclaimed in the workroom, "If I were a diva, my name would be FEROSH!" — yes, as in ferocious. Sigh. The avant-garde look that he and Chris designed was on a whole other level than anything any of the other designers had conceived: It was sophisticated and directional and creative and artistic and beautifully constructed. Chris and Christian should go into business together; Chris's background in costume design brings the imagination and playfulness that Christian's couture-aspiring looks so desperately need. Michael Kors was rendered speechless for once, which is just about the highest compliment you can get on this show. I agree with Tim Gunn (note to self: always agree with Tim Gunn) that their r-t-w look was sorta cheap-looking, but I'll excuse it just this once.

Rami was grouchy this week. He could barely hide his disdain at being paired with Sweet P, and did even less to conceal the look on his face that screamed "Oh By The Way: I Think You're An Idiot And Have Bad Taste To Boot" every time the poor woman opened her mouth. Sweet P, who could give Ricky a run for his money when it comes to turning on the waterworks, was so distressed and weepy that even her model tried to console her. Fortunately, no bad deed was left unpunished and Rami found himself in the bottom two, as the judges questioned his bad attitude, his taste level, and his ability to do anything other than drape. They also gave major props to the r-t-w look — designed and constructed by Sweet P. I was happy to see the possibly-bipolar chick get some positive feedback.

The other look in the top two this week was designed by Jillian and Victorya. I'm not gonna lie, I was worried, 'cause they both have an "I'm more sophisticated than you" air and they're both slow at construction. But the girlies pulled through (even if, whoops, they didn't have their r-t-w look ready until the morning of the runway show) and made a crazy fierce jacket straight out of The Matrix and twisted jockey pants, detailed with unexpected tartan (they also used the plaid in their ready-to-wear look, a black dress both punky and lady-like). Victorya took the leadership credit, but lovely, overly-medicated genius Jillian was really the mastermind. Nina Garcia looked like she was going to orgasm, she was so into both of these looks, only lending more evidence to my suspicion that Nina is really into S&M.

Last but not least? Our losers, Ricky and Kit. The duo made a poor man's Scarlett O'Hara dress, complete with hoop skirt. It was ridiculous. So was their r-t-w look: Lolita on foodstamps. (And not in a good way.) In the end, the judges sent Kit home and not Ricky, and the fact that Ricky's around for one more week, makes me want to Auf myself.

Christian, and his totally heinous dress, ended up in the bottom two. He alternately blamed Maddie for designing it and then said that he tried to make a good dress and bitched at a dissatisfied Maddie for not understanding the genius of his design. Though Kevin's dress sucked more, I wanted to see Christian go home, based on bad attitude alone. He said that working with a 17-year old made him feel "not fierce." Oh please.

The true highlights of the episode came from the designers musing on their own prom memories: "Straight" Kevin is himself a Jersey boy and went to the tanning beds and nicked his parents liquor before his prom. Maybe this has something to do with why he lost? He made a god-awful ugly red short halter dress that the brilliant Michael Kors said looked like it come from the $24.98 bin. Indeed. Also, he didn't even bother to finish the hem!

Sweet P, I've determined, was definitely dropping a lot of acid in high school. In trying to remember her prom experience, she could only get out that she went to Catholic school herself, was sorta a bad girl...and then burst into a fit of strange giggles. It was, to say the least, awkward. Her dress, meanwhile, was one of the top two — a first for Sweet P.

Ricky, unsurprisingly, failed to make it through the episode without bursting into tears, and the waterworks started way before the judges told him his dress wasn't so good. Which yielded my very fashionable and very political friend Joanna to muse, "If Ricky can cry every week, why can't Hillary cry once?". Um, good point.

Victorya, in the bottom two last week, was the challenge winner, but I felt her win was sorta bittersweet since her client only picked her as the designer she wanted to work with because she had last pick in choosing designers. But her dress was cute (even though aren't bubble hems totally over?) and Nina loved it. And a smile from Nina is worth your weight in fabric from Mood on this show.

Chris March, who designed a rather tasteful puke green dress, asked the girls what they wanted to do with their lives. They all giggled and said, "Nothing! We just want to sit around all day!" and my heart broke 1,000 different ways. Then Chris mentioned that he spent his prom night at home by himself, watching old movies and getting drunk. Also, he told a joke to the room: "What would the Flintstones have been called if they were gay? [beat] Fags!" I love him more and more each week.

Last but not least, my fantasy lover Rami, who won last week's challenge, found himself facing the judges scrutiny for the first time ever. His defense? "I'm from Jerusalem. There is no prom there." Yeah, just war! Maybe if only Tim Gunn would tell the Israelis and the Palestinians to "make it work" we'd have peace in the Middle East at last?