• Victoria Beckham had her first day on the set of American Idol on Friday and a source says: "It didn't go well." Why ever not?

"She tried to hard to be 'nice,' but came off as icy and wooden," a source revealed. Plus: Contestants were disappointed not to see Paula on the panel. [Radar Online]

• Before she started judging, Victoria Beckham told Ryan Seacrest: "I'm going to try hard to pout and not shatter the illusion that I'm a moody cow, but I don't know if I can - I'm just so happy." [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, ABC has reached out to Paula Abdul about joining Dancing With The Stars. as a judge or a contestant. [Variety]
• Olivia Newton-John's former boyfriend, Patrick McDermott, presumed dead since 2005, is alive in Mexico and wishes to be left alone. He reportedly owes back child support to his ex-wife, which may be one of the reasons he disappeared. [Daily Mail]
• Behold: A picture of Real Housewives Kim Zolciak with her "Big Poppa." [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin will sit down for an interview with E!, and react to whatever Kate Gosselin says on the Today show today. So there's a Jon special on E! tonight — and tomorrow night, a full interview. [E!]
• Kate Major continues to attempt to be relevant. [E!]
• Jeremy Piven and Chris Kattan got into a screaming match backstage at MTV on Thursday: Kattan said "So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?" and Piven said Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?" Tempers flared. Doors slammed. Obscenities were yelled. Funny dudes can't take jokes? [Gatecrasher]
• Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were spotted at a Bobby Long concert in L.A. on Thursday night. Because their love is destiny, people! And what is a sparkle vamp without a ladylove? According to this report: "After the show, a cab spirited them off into the night." [ET]
• "Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart heat up with low-key date nights and hotel sleepovers." [NY Daily News]
• Pattinson had a low-key night out… not in a Manhattan hot spot. On Long Island. [Page Six]
• A man accused of sending death threats to Beyoncé and Jay-Z will have to undergo a mental evaluation, duh. [Daily Express]
• "America's other first couple: Beyoncé and Jay-Z are black America's second most famous couple: young, rich and with a direct line to the White House." [Times Of London]
• Is Guy Ritchie dating Iron Man actress Mellany Gandara? [Daily Express]
• Katherine Jackson's lawyer L. Londell McMillan says: "She's got her grandchildren, they're set. She's starting to rock and roll. She's getting her grandma swagger back. But she has been busy trying to make sure that these children will be provided for." [People]
• Mark Lester, who was in the 1968 film Oliver!, and is the godfather of Michael Jackson's kids, says he could be the biological father of Paris Jackson. This paper puts a picture of Paris side by side with a picture of Lester's daughter and survey says: Probably not. But does Paris have long ears like Arnold Klein? [Daily Mail]
• "Longtime Michael Jackson friend Mark Lester is not the father of Jackson's daughter, nor is he claiming paternity, despite a tabloid report indicating Lester says he's Paris Jackson's biological dad, sources tell People." [People]
• A source says that Michael Jackson was super excited about his upcoming tour. "He even said to me on several occasions, 'I am going to give everything I have. He even said, I'll die on the stage if I have to. It gives me the chills thinking about it now." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's body was finally buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery in the Hollywood Hills. No ceremony, no fans. The exact location is a secret. [Mirror]
• Presented without comment: "A doctor has revealed how he prescribed Michael Jackson a 'chemical castration' drug to suppress his sexual urges towards under-age boys." [Mirror]
• ABC entertainment president Stephen McPherson on Katherine Heigl's latest anti-Grey's Anatomy tirade: "People will behave in a way they choose to behave. There are so many people who work unbelievably hard on Grey's… so I think it's really hard for them to hear [her complain about working a 17-hour day]." [EW]
• Jenna Fischer says: "I always see these tabloid reports about certain people being 'Spotted Without Their Wedding Ring!' like it's some big deal… [I don't wear my ring because I] would have to take it off and leave it in my trailer, which I would never do. They aren't that secure. Break-ins happen all the time. So if I go someplace after work I could be 'spotted' without my ring. It means nothing." [People]
• How did Ashlee Simpson lose her "baby weight"? Luck. "After I had Bronx I lucked out. I mean, I'm 24 years old. I have the genes from my mother and I did work out for three months." [The Sun]
• "A Night Out With Holly Madison" reveals that she calls a vodka and water "The Skinny Bitch," and later announces: "Chicken fingers are seriously, like, my favorite food." [NY Times]
• Kelsey Grammer says the cancellation of his TV series Back To You may have contributed to his heart attack in 2008. "When they examined my arteries, there was no blocked arteries. I had no cholesterol buildup. I had an event that they think was stress-related." [UPI]
• Madonna's boyfriend, model Jesus Luz, would like to be a DJ. [Page Six]
• Just a reminder: Vanessa Hudgens plays Sa5m in Bandslam, but the 5 is silent. Her character "is an emo girl who speaks slowly because of a stutter, resembles Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club and is ostensibly the female lead, Ms. Hudgens argues to the contrary." [NY Times]
• Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough: Broken up. They will "remain friends." [UPI]
• Tracy Morgan and his wife Sabina have been married for 23 years, but reportedly spent the last eight living apart. Morgan has decided to file for divorce, maybe because he took some cornbread behind a middle school and got it pregnant. [TMZ]
• Lady GaGa says she wore that Kermit coat as a statement: "I thought it was [a] commentary on not wearing fur, 'cause I hate fur and I don't wear fur." Naturally, now PETA would like for her to pose nude in an ad campaign. [TMZ]
• Cheech Marin married longtime girlfriend Natasha Rubin over the weekned. [People]
• If you do nothing else today, for the love of Kirk, read this William Shatner interview. It's crazyinsane. A snippet: So what is your relationship with Conan really like when the cameras are off? "It's great, he folds me into his arms and I come up to his belly button. So I suckle on his belly button and he holds me close." [Time]
• Just what your Monday morning needs: An anecdote about Mick Jagger's penis. [Page Six]
• Whatshisname says Whatshername is disgusting because she let her four-year-old son see her in bed with her new lover. [The Sun]
• "Because I'm pretty everybody thinks I'm stupid. But you don't have to play a victim. You have to show who you are to make the others come to discover you." — Monica Bellucci. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I don't sit there and think 'well I did Confessions of a Shopaholic and now I've got to go out and do Chekhov.' If the next one that comes along happens to be another romantic comedy and I find something in it that appeals to me then great. I operate on almost no system at all." — Hugh Dancy. [Independent]
• "I had a conversation with one of the scientists, and I was saying how I interviewed some [little] kids. I asked him what his opinion was, because I was like, 'Oh, it's really sweet, their idea of love is so pure.' And he was like, 'They don't really understand what love is because they haven't got their hormones and they haven't had sex and they haven't had that many relationships.' And I'm like, it doesn't mean that you can't experience love. Just the fact that you've been in one relationship doesn't devalue how you feel about someone. One of the couples in the film met when they were fourteen and their parents were like, 'That's puppy love.' They ended up being together for over fifty years. So I think people are biased against age." — Charlyne Yi. [Nerve]
• "She knew that I wanted to paint and make music. Eventually she said: ‘do it!' She encouraged me to go forward without fear . So it's all thanks to my wife, who knew that I had done a lot of acting over the years and suggested maybe it was time to start doing something else." — Anthony Hopkins, who has an exhibition of his paintings in Tuscany and also composes orchestral work. [Daily Express]
• Q. Does it feel odd to be putting young designers out in the world when the fashion world is in extreme crisis? A. "I think that everything is kind of in crisis. But what are you going to do? Is everyone going to stop working? I think the best will always succeed in any world. The people who are working hard, I think they will stay out there. In terms of fashion, maybe there are things that are more needed than other things — and the things that people cannot afford, maybe those things will go. But I don't think people should stop their dreams. A lot of our designers, people who have been on in the past, not everyone is self-employed. I think the only one who has become successful is Christian [Siriano] — on their own. I think the others are also successful, not as their own brand. Which I think is also success! They are working under good design houses. Or selling on HSN or Shopping Network." — Heidi Klum, on Project Runway. [LA Times]
• "I grew up on a red dirt road with a tree growing right in the middle of it. We didn't have much, but it never occurred to me that if you wanted to do something you couldn't do it. You can do anything if you try… I came here with a curling iron, two boxes of clothes and $200 in savings." — Nancy Grace. [USA Today]
• "I walk around and don't understand why more people are not smiling, enjoying the day, why they give me stink-eye. I guess being happy must not agree with them. I do not say I am always happy, but I do strive to be cheery." — Amy Adams. [Times Of London]
• "About 50 percent [of Paper Heart is fiction]. Everything with the interview subjects is real, but the plot with Michael Cera is fiction… But I honestly was kind of questioning the idea of love. I'd dropped out of college and I'd just been doing comedy, and I'm kind of like an old lady — when I was 10 I learned how to knit — so, most of my friends would go to clubs [to meet people], but I don't go to clubs or bars because I don't drink. So there was this fear of, how would I meet someone my own age? It's not that I doubted other people's love. It was just about my own concern of whether it could happen to me." — Charlyne Yi [WaPo]
• "You know when you first discovered a hamburger and then you can't live without it? That's what it's like for me with her" — Ashton Kutcher on his love for Demi Moore to Gotham magazine. [Page Six]
• "I'd rather staple my eyelids shut than watch Gwyneth cook." — Bethenny Frankel. [Gatecrasher]

• Oprah is being sued for $1 trillion. That is one trillion dollars. Here's the deal:

Author Damon Lloyd Goffe of the Bronx claims that in April 2008, Oprah confessed to seizing (?) and publishing (on the web) a first draft of his work, A Tome of Poetry, under the title Pieces Of My Soul. [National Enquirer]

• Newly unemployed Paula Abdul might go to The View: The show's rep says "She was always welcome on the program in the past and always will be in the future." Paula might fill in during Elisabeth Hasselbeck's maternity leave, but probably won't be offered a full-time job; the rep says: "We aren't hiring, of course." [E!]
• Apparently Paula's Idol resignation Tweet took many Idol staffers by surprise. When asked if Paula will be replaced, one exec said: "I have no idea." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Former American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe says he's talked with Paula about coming to Fox's So You Think You Can Dance. "With Paula's background as a dancer, choreographer and reality judge now, I don't know anyone more qualified than Paula Abdul." [NY Daily News]
• "Who can replace Paula Abdul on 'American Idol?' Sarah Palin? Judge Judy?" LOL. [NY Daily News]
• You know who will be on American Idol? Victoria Beckham. Yes, Posh Spice will make a guest appearance on the judging panel. Zigazig-ah. [Daily Mail]
• Posh's appearance will be a one-off. [People]
• Britney wants to marry her manager-boyfriend Jason Trawick and have his baby (she wants a girl), but a source says: "Jason's last long-term relationship ended because he wouldn't pop the question." As always, consider the source on this. [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Kristin Davis is caught in the middle of Mideast politics — she is no longer a spokeswoman for human rights/relief organization Oxfam International because she endorses the Ahava cosmetics line, which is made by Dead Sea Cosmetics in the Mitzhe Shalem Jewish settlement in the West Bank. Oxfam considers this "disputed" territory. [Page Six]
• A new batch of nude photographs of Vanessa Hudgens hit the internet and her lawyer confirms that they are real and that she was underage when they were taken. You've got to wonder who keeps leaking pictures of the Disney teen queen, and how he or she is getting access to these images. [Perez]
• According to this report, the Vanessa Hudgens pix are actually old. Yet! Released just in time: There's a red carpet premiere of her new flick, Bandslam, tomorrow. [E!]
• Mischa Barton didn't go to some castmate's birthday party and we're supposed to read something into that. [Page Six]
• Matt Damon, Don Cheadle and George Clooney are hanging out at Cloon's luxurious Lake Como estate, like an Ocean's Eleven reunion. Except no Brad Pitt. [NY Daily News]
• Aerosmith's Steven Tyler was airlifted to a hospital after falling off the stage during a show in South Dakota. Not a joke: He went down during the song "Love In An Elevator." His injuries are reportedly not too serious: minor head and neck injuries and a shoulder injury. [AP]
• In a poll by lovefilm.com (?), Anne Hathaway was named best actress under 30. Keira Knightley got second place. [Telegraph]
• It's tough to describe the creeptastic pictures in the results of this "NYC Prep Meets Yearbook Yourself" post, but there are retro hairstyles and Morrissey quotes, so you'd better just click and see. [The Faster Times]
• Michael Jackson and rapper Fabolous are on the top of the Billboard charts. [Reuters]
• A South Korean newspaper is suing Michael Jackson's estate for $7.9 million over some canceled concert dates in 1990. As if Katherine Jackson's lawyers didn't have enough to worry about. [AP]
• Katherine Jackson will be telling Prince and Paris that their biological mom is Debbie Rowe in the next few weeks. [NY Post]
• A play at the Edinburgh Fringe festival — with an all-Malawian cast — is about Madonna's adoption saga and titled Mercy Madonna of Malawi. Her Madgesty is played by a black male actor in a blonde wig, and he looks like he's loving it. [BBC News]
• If you haven't seen it yet, the animated Modest Mouse video directed by Heath Ledger can be found at the link. [NY Daily News]
• Barbra Streisand is auctioning off more than 400 personal items to benefit her charity: A baby grand piano, a dress from Funny Lady, some outfits from Meet The Fockers. "What good does it do in storage?" Barbra asks. The Streisand Foundation supports women's, children's, environmental and political causes. [AP]
• Catherine Deneuve was booed at a performance in Italy, where she was reading at a cultural festival. Attendees may have been frustrated that she was reading in French and there were no subtitles. [AP]
• Pedro Almodóvar turns 60 next month, and is about to release his 17th feature film, Broken Embraces. He says: "I want to make more. Right now, I feel a sense of urgency that I never had before to make films. I feel much more in a hurry now than when I was 20 or 30. Time passes." And! On muse Penelope Cruz: "Hollywood doesn't take such risks with actors. They're not that rich in female characters either. I have the advantage that I know Penelope very well as a friend. She has such faith in me, so I can take more risks, bring out those unseen Penelopes, that other directors wouldn't dare to try or conceive." Be sure and click the link and watch the trailer, in which Cruz wears a bunch of different wigs and channels Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. [Telegraph]
• Liam Neeson will star in Unknown White Male, a thriller from the director of Orphan, in which Neeson will play a doctor who gets into a car accident and goes into a coma. When he wakes up, his wife doesn't recognize him — and she's living with another man who has assumed his identity. [Variety]
• HBO, which has been getting very lady-friendly lately, is developing a show for Laura Dern. The premise? A formerly self-destructive woman has a spiritual awakening and becomes determined to live an enlightened life, wreaking unintended consequences." Writer? Mike White, School Of Rock. [Women & Hollywood]
• Thomas Beatie, known as the "pregnant man," is pitching a reality series to Oxygen to TLC. [NY Daily News]
• Retrogossip: "Marilyn Monroe and Tony Curtis had affair while making 'Some Like it Hot,' Curtis reveals in book.… The 84-year-old actor writes that he and Monroe had an affair while making the movie in 1958 which left her pregnant. Had she not miscarried, Marilyn would have been his baby mama." [Gatecrasher]
• "He'd better start making some good films ... I'm not a great fan of Public Enemies, because I think [Michael Mann's] a fucking extraordinary filmmaker, but personally I didn't think Johnny had enough room to act ... He's making so much money. There was a piece in the Huffington Post today. It's a letter saying 'All right, come on, we all love you, but stop.' ... It's like, 'Come on. You've got the power to make some really good films happen. Why are you doing this shit?'" — Terry Gilliam on Johnny Depp. [NY Mag]
• "Chris Kattan wanting to be a leading man is a joke, and it's a great way to poke fun of myself. It's not so much about finding a gig but good, respectful gigs." — Chris Kattan, on his role in Bollywood Hero, in which he decides to head to India and reinvent himself as the star of a Bollywood epic, Peculiar Dancing Boy. [USA Today
• "My priorities have shifted completely, which has helped my career because there's this new peace that I have. If I never did anything again, I would be a mom and I'd be totally happy being a mom. Everything has fallen into place so beautifully because I'm not trying so hard. If my daughter's OK, I can concentrate on something else. So it's not like all day I'm thinking about me." — Milla Jovovich. [LA Times]
• "If this article comes out and we're not together, I'd still love [Tony]," she says. "And he'd still be a huge part of who I am today." — Jessica Simpson, to Glamour magazine. [NY Daily News]
• The thing is that American Idol obviously appeals to a massive audience, and they have everything from little teenagers that freak out and scream when they see me. Then there's the sort of weird kids that were a little bit different and alternative than everyone else and were getting into Idol, too. You have the single moms. You have the Oprah audience. You have the grandmothers. You have women that want a baby. Women that want to fuck you. Women that want you to fuck their daughter or people that want to make you cookies. So you have everything. But I'll tell you, I definitely have a pretty hard-core sort of middle-age woman following. It's awesome when anyone follows, but I think that if I had a new hit on the radio and I was playing shows, you'd see a lot more of the teeners there, but the women that are dedicated, that travel all over the country to see me, are from 30 to 50 and some older, definitely. You know that's all been really great and fun, but I'm very focused on the work and eventually settling down and finding one nice girl, preferably Greek." — Constantine Maroulis, former Idol contestant and current Broadway star in Rock Of Ages.[The Daily Beast]

• Miley Cyrus, 15 and Justin Gaston, 20, were "all over each other" backstage at the Christian Audigier show at LA Fashion Week. Justin walked in the show, and everytime he passed, he would blow a kiss and wink at his teenage girlfriend, and she, witnesses say, "licked her lips seductively as he passed her." A source heard Miley saying she was going to skip the after party to stay at Justin's and have a party of her own. [Page Six]
• Britney's dad testified in her misdemeanor driving-without-a-license trial Thursday that California is not her permanent residence. "Her home is Louisiana," he said. Um, perjury? Anyone? [People]
• Oh, Britney is building a house in Louisiana. This much is true. [TMZ]
• Look for Britney on the January cover of Glamour magazine. Shot by freakin' Patrick Demarchelier. [NY Mag]
• Yeah, so John Mayer spent his birthday with Jennifer Aniston. He had a party at the Grand Havana Room, a members-only restaurant and cigar club in L.A. They totally sat next to each other and "seemed happy." [People]
• In Angelina Jolie's interview with the New York Times, she says she wants her kids to see Mr. And Mrs. Smith someday: "Not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love." Team Aniston peeps think that she's admitting Brad cheated on Jen with her. But Team Jolie folks are like, hey, it is when they met, and they denied they were together physically. The threads over on this posting are crazytown. [ONTD]

• Surprise, surprise: Amy Winehouse didn't show up for her DJing gig at that pub in London. She was "bedridden." [Mirror]
• Katherine Heigl: Adopting a Korean baby. So says the National Enquirer. Katherine's big sister Meg was adopted from Korea more than 30 years ago and has had a "profound impact" on Katherine's life. [ONTD]
• Awesome pix of Justin Timberlake and Ellen Degeneres playing golf. [ET]
• Madonna and Guy have not been speaking to each other for a while, because they allegedly "cannot be in a room together for more than a few minutes without having a shouting match." Think of the children! [Perez Hilton]
• Um, this report says Madonna's marriage began sliding towards divorce after her hubby’s "unsympathetic" reaction when she fell off a horse and broke eight bones. [The Sun]
• A source close to Guy says "It wasn't just one thing. They just lost their connection." [People]
• Madge and Guy won't battle over money, but they will fight over custody of the kids. They both hired high-powered lawyers. [Daily Mail, Telegraph]
• Madonna's brother Christopher Ciccone says Kabbalah killed the marriage. [The Sun]
• Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal's parents: Officially filed for divorce. Naomi and Stephen Gyllenhaal were married in 1977. Is it too early to start drinking? [TMZ]
• DJ AM has actually escaped death twice: "In the burn center, they did a scan and found that I had a blood clot that in this flight could have traveled to my heart and I could have died," he says. While still at the burn center in Georgia, he was put on blood-thinning medication. [People]
• Contrary to earlier reports, Steve Wonder's house did not burn down in the L.A. fires. Overjoyed? [TMZ]
• Tea Leoni in More magazine, talking about her new movie, Manure: "But at the same time, we have this incredible cast with Billy Bob Thornton, who is maybe my new favorite person in the world." [ONTD]
• Billy Bob Thornton swears he is not the reason David Duchovny and Tea Leoni split: His publicist issued a statement which reads: "Billy Bob Thornton and Téa Leoni are just friends." Strong words! [E!]
• Kathy Griffin's says Bravo claims she's signed on for another season of My Life On The D-List — but she hasn't, and she's "trying to extract tens more dollars from Bravo." [Perez Hilton]
• Is Bruce Willis getting married? He took his model girlfriend Emma Heming to Cartier in Beverly Hills and they totally looked at rings. [Daily Express]
• Mena Suvari's engaged and wants a "fairy-tale wedding." [Yahoo News]
• Actress and Brooklynite Hope Davis on the recession: "Even the little spa on my corner is advertising 50 percent off facials. Everybody’s suffering; it’s going to affect everybody." [NY Mag]
• Are you ready for an Eminem comeback? He's releasing a book on October 21 and an album later in the year. Here are some personal pictures that will be in the book, including snaps of Em as a kid, a picture of his first mix tape and shots of him with his daughter. [EW]
• Susan Sarandon: Guest of honor at the second annual Middle East International Film Festival in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates. She said: "In the US we don't have the opportunity to see these films; even English(-language) documentaries are hard to find. Festivals are a wonderful opportunity for people to see documentaries they might not normally see." Plus, the formation of a Middle Eastern chapter of Women in Film and Television was announced. [Reuters]
• Daisy Lowe broke up with her boyfriend Will Blondelle because records by her ex, Mark Ronson were being played in a club. Yeah, I dunno. [Mirror]
• Hadn't heard this, but Kenneth Branagh will not direct Jude Law in Hamlet as planned. Branagh dropped out due to a scheduling conflict. [UPI]
• Headline of the day: Phil Spector "Used Obscene Language About Women And Stated They Should Be Shot." [Daily Mail]
• James Taylor's playing five free concerts for Obama in the election battleground state of North Carolina. "It's a great relief to see someone running who believes government can do good things for people," he says. He adds, "I've seen fire and I've seen rain." [AP]
• The Supreme Court says Survivor champ Richard Hatch must serve out the rest of his four-year, three-month prison sentence for failing to pay the IRS taxes on the million bucks he won. [E!]
• Chris Kattan and Sunshine Tutt officially divorced, after two months of wedded bliss. What's up with SNL alums and short (heh) marriages? [E!]
• Stephen Baldwin on Barack Obama: "If he wins the election, he'll hurt me. He's a cultural terrorist." [Perez Hilton]
• "I lie all the time. The last lie I told was the last time someone invited me to a wedding, or a christening, or a party. I can't say, 'I don't really like you that much, I'm worried about the other people you'd invite; a wedding bores me stupid, I think it's ridiculous and pointless and I'd rather sit at home in my [underwear] drinking wine." —Ricky Gervais. [Guardian]
• "I strongly feel there needs to be a new way forward. Barack Obama is pushing things in the right direction. I’m excited about the election. Unfortunately, things will probably get dirty. I hope Obama can stay above the fray … I’m hopeful for the first time in a long, long while. It’s one of the most exciting elections in my lifetime." — Daniel Craig, who knows he can't vote, but is watching US politics very closely. [MSNBC]
• "I don't like guns much, and the reason I don't like them is because I do like them. If you put one in my hand, I feel incredibly omnipotent. And I hate that truth." — Colin Farrell. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I’m never at home and every woman gets sick of it. If I was them, I wouldn’t put up with me for too long, and they don’t. I wonder if I’m going to be relegated to three-year relationships for the rest of my life." — George Clooney. [Mirror]

• David and Victoria Beckham were in a car crash Friday in France. David was driving his BMW to the Nice airport when he lost control and crashed into a wall. No kids were in the car; Posh was the only passenger. The vehicle had a smashed windshield and damage on the passenger side, but everyone was OK. Bex had to catch his plane (to appear in the Olympic closing ceremonies) so he left poor Vicky with the car… [Perez Hilton]
• Playdate! Kingston Rossdale and the Spears brothers! Britney entertained the three boys while Gwen and Gavin have their hands full with a new baby at home. It says a lot about Brit's progress that people will leave their kids with her, huh? And look, only two nannies in the accompanying picture. [Daily Mail]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie can claim £1,400 a month in child benefits after registering France as their home. Not that they will claim the money. Because they are perfect. [The Sun]
• Lance Bass helped Christina Applegate recover from her double mastectomy. "I was at the hospital holding her hand and getting her through it," he says. "She is a very, very loved person. She's a big crossword puzzle girl. That kept her busy. In her hours of recovery, she's made all these roses out of lace. She has hundreds and hundreds of these amazing different roses. She doesn't know what she's going to do with them." [People]

• Apparently the trailer for Keira Knightley's new film, The Duchess, has shots of Princess Diana intercut in it, with the words "The two were related by ancestry and united by destiny… History repeats itself." Except Keira's flick is about Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire. Who did not die in a car crash. [Telegraph]
• Madonna and Guy renewed their vows in a private Kabbalah ceremony in London. A-Rod, shmay-rod! [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour kicked off over the weekend! [The Sun]
• Madge has $1 million worth of Swarovski crystals on her costumes! [Mirror]
• Her show was "epic" and featured a video appearance by Britney Spears, as well as virtual appearances by Kanye West and Pharrell Williams. [Mirror]
• Madonna's workouts to get in shape for her tour have paid off. Hubby Guy Rithie says: "Her legs are Olympic standard. She is in amazing shape. You won’t find a fitter bird than her. Her legs are so toned. She’s fitter than dancers on her tour who are half her age." [The Sun]
• Madonna's tour includes negative images of destruction: global warming, Hitler, Mugabe and Senator John McCain. Then! Positive images! John Lennon, Al Gore, Mahatma Gandhi and Barack Obama! [AP]
• Um, the McCain camp is not happy about Madonna's tour images. "The comparisons are outrageous, unacceptable and crudely divisive all at the same time." [Yahoo News]
• Is Madonna sparking a stocking trend with her 100 pairs of fishnets? [The Sun]
• Four relatives of Helena Bonham Carter were killed in a minibus crash while of a safari holiday in South Africa last week. [Times of London]
• Amanda Bynes was in a minor car accident Saturday afternoon in L.A. She made an unsafe turn and another car hit her. No serious damage, no drugs or alcohol. [People]
• Jet-setting billionaire Charles Simonyi is engaged to a Swedish woman named Lisa Persdotter, which is weird because Martha Stewart has often referred to him as "my boyfriend." [ONTD]
• Chris Kattan filed for legal separation from his wife, Sunshine Tutt, citing irreconcilable differences.The couple were engaged for 18 months and married for less than 2 months. Sigh, WWMD? (What Would Mango Do?) [Yahoo News via E!]
• John Mayer paparazzi shots aren't worth very much now that he's not with Jennifer Aniston. [MSNBC]
• Barenaked Ladies frontman Ed Robertson and three other people are "very lucky" to have survived a plane crash yesterday. The float-plane went down in the trees in Bancroft, Ontario, Canada. [Toronto Sun]
• Kim Kardashian cut her foot in her hotel room Sunday night. A source says there was so much blood, it looked like a murder scene. She sliced her foot open on a glass coffee table — right before she's supposed to start Dancing With The Stars! [ONTD]
• George Michael's final farewell concert was in London over the weekend. "It's great to be home," he said. (I won't let you down. I will not give you up. Gotta have some faith in the sound… It's the one good thing that I've got.) [Telegraph]
• There was a beachside premiere party for 90210 over the weekend, with Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth in attendance. [AP]
• Boy jeans: Now seen on Jennifer Aniston. Katie Holmes, what hath thou wrought? [Daily Mail]
• Drew Barrymore: seen singing "I Will Survive" at a karaoke joint in Detroit with Whip It co-stars Juliette Lewis and Ellen Page. It's okay, you'll find better than the Mac dude! [Mirror]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty went house shopping in Malibu! The "love nest" they checked out was priced at £11million. Guess that's what Getty oil money will get you. [Mirror]
• Snoop Dogg has been granted a visa to perform in Australia, despite his long list of drugs, firearms and weapons charges. You can't hold back the dee oh double gee! [News.com.au]
• Paula Abdul has undergone neck surgery to repair an old cheerleading injury. She's supposedly been in a lot of pain since um, 1987, which maybe made her take pain pills, which maybe made her loopy. [Perez Hilton]
• TV chef Jamie Oliver was talking about free range chickens and gassing chicks when he some kind of Holocaust joke about the Germans, whoops. [The Star]
• Adrian Grenier: Dating an Aussie "weather girl"? [News.com.au]
• Blind item! "Which newly single TV personality tried out his sonorous baritone on young co-eds while vacationing in Mexico? 'He was bouncing between college girls like a pinball,' says our spy. 'His son was there, and it was embarrassing to watch.' Even worse, we hear there were no takers." [Rush & Molloy]
• Mary J. Blige and Robin Thicke will tour together in North America this fall. Will they sing together? A duet could be hot! [Reuters]
• When Alanis Morissette was 15 years old, she opened for Vanilla Ice on tour: "I was instructed not to look him in the eye and that was my first experience of honouring someone’s privacy to the point where you look away when they come near you. I thought, 'Wow, I didn’t think that actually existed!'" [Daily Express]
• Ed McMahon has found someone to buy his home and it's not Donald Trump. [Yahoo News]
• If you like Lil Wayne, Birdman or the Hot Boys, you'll love Cash Money Mobile, the new phone service that delivers ringtones, graphics, videoclips, text alerts and other crap right to your phone. A milli, a milli, a milli. [Reuters]
• Bobby Brown is being sued for failing to pay the legal bills for his divorce from Whitney Houston. He still owes almost $100,000 — can he get if from that country show? [Mirror]
• Tennis star James Blake talks about going to high school with John Mayer: "Just about every day he was at my house, and we'd play Nintendo games… I was about five feet tall wearing a back brace [due to scoliosis]… I don't think either one of us was doing that great [with the ladies] in high school – John was still kind of fitting into a niche ... He's more than made up for himself with how he's done since then." [People]
• Christopher Plummer recalls that hilarious time he thought he had syphilis and William Shatner took his role in Henry V. [Page Six]
• It's been twenty years since N.W.A.'s Straight Outta Compton. Ice Cube says: "It was what we saw all around us in Los Angeles. Gangsta to us didn't have anything to do with Al Capone and stuff like that. It's just about living your life the way you want to live it. And you're not going to let nothing stop you." [USA Today]
• A Serbian village unveiled what it says is Europe's first statue to late Jamaican reggae star Bob Marley on Saturday. Apparently the war-torn region prefers role models of peace. [Yahoo News]
• There's an excerpt from Faith Evans' book, and it details the night when she caught Lil' Kim in Biggie's bed. "As soon as I saw a small lump next to Big’s large frame, I flew into a rage, ran over to the side of the bed, and pulled back the covers. I grabbed some chick our of the bed and started beating her ass. At some point, the chick’s wig came off in my hand; It was a short, cropped wig. I stopped throwing punches for a minute to get a good look at the chick I was beating up. It was Lil Kim. She was completely butt-naked, yelling as I pushed her around the room…" [The.Life Files, Gawker]
• "Growing up, there’s a lot of pressure on young women, when you first become aware of your own looks in relation to other women’s looks. You just want to be cookie-cutter beautiful. And sometimes you think, 'Maybe I could change something about myself to fit that mould.' I’m no exception to that. When I was growing up I wanted a nose job because I didn’t think my nose was good. Your face needs to have character if you’re going to be an actor or you’re just kind of a face. You’re not really a person or a personality." — Anne Hathaway. [Daily Express]
• "Making clothes together in our studio makes us feel complete. We probably sound like a group of grannies in a knitting circle but it's the truth and it gives us some control over our visual identity." — Coldplay's Chris Martin. [Mirror]
• "I wrote that song as a stalker. It was raining, and I was sitting there in front of the house, watching her come home from a date after we were divorced. I was imagining what she did on this date, and watching her giving him a kiss. I went home and wrote this song." — Terrence Howard, on the "No. 1 Fan" from his new album. [E!]