Chris Christie Tries to Remind Everyone He's Running for President
Republican presidential hopeful Chris Christie stopped by The Daily Show on Wednesday night and reminded America that he’s still in the race for the nomination. Did you know that or did you forget about him (and Bridgegate) too?
Chris Christie Orders Head of New Jersey National Guard to Lose Weight
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has ordered the head of New Jersey’s National Guard to lose some weight. In a pun-filled story, CBS2 reports that Air Force Brigadier General Michael Cunniff was reprimanded by the Pentagon for failing and skipping physical fitness tests.
Chris Christie Refuses to Be Ignored at Next Debate, Will 'Go Nuclear'
Chris Christie—unrequited lover of Bruce Springsteen, Governor of New Jersey, and Republican presidential candidate—has a hungry heart. Ignored during his party’s first presidential debate, he was deprived of the opportunity to tell us his dreams and aspirations. But he won’t be silenced again, oh no. Next time this…
The Debasing Race: Meet the Fox News GOP Debate Contestants
It’s time. Tomorrow night, at 9 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time, ten drunk clowns are going to fight with each other on national television for the chance to make wildly important decisions that affect each and every one of our livelihoods. It is going to be a god damn masterpiece.
Chris Christie: I Definitely Fuck
Chris Christie, on the Prez 2016 stump, is out here asking the truly important questions such as, Is he a good Catholic? Even though has he used birth control other than the rhythm method?
First Republican Presidential Forum Was Dull and Bizarre, Naturally
Are you ready for it? Are you ready for the next 461 days of being campaigned at by a pack of desperate losers, flop-sweating in their suits, overtaking your TV, your radio, your mailbox, leaning in too close at your local diner or county fair, corndogs clenched awkwardly in their fists, showing all their teeth in a…
Romney Hosts Chris Christie and Marco Rubio at Deeply Weird Sleepover
In a scene torn straight from your most unsettling sexual nightmares, former presidential candidate Mitt Romney hosted New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Florida Senator Marco Rubio at his house for a sleepover. “It was fun,” Rubio told reporters the next day, while we all shuddered, suddenly chilled to the bone…
Chris Christie's Hometown Hates His Guts
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is running for president. He’s not gonna be president, nor should he be, but bless his heart, he’s trying it. Christie announced his candidacy Tuesday morning in Livingston, his hometown, who weren’t all that happy to have him back and spent the days leading up to his announcement…
New Jersey Jagoff Running For President
New Jersey Gov. and potty-mouth Chris Christie will officially announce his presidential campaign on Tuesday, June 30, so start finalizing your Sopranos-and-garbage-based joke packets now.
Gov. Chris Christie Delivers Speech With Lots of F-Words
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie invoked the spirit of Andrew “Dice” Clay when he delivered a speech brimming with expletives at the New Jersey Legislative Correspondents Club Show on Wednesday evening. The event is an annual fundraising tradition put on by the New Jersey press corps and Christie’s profanity-filled…
Chris Christie Is So, So Proud of Slashing Family Planning Funding
At the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, D.C. Thursday during an interview with talk radio host Laura Ingraham, Chris Christie tried his best to woo a somewhat tepid crowd of conservative voters who are never, ever, not in a thousand years going to nominate him for president. So Christie rolled…
Christie's Not a Straight Talking Regular Guy; He's a Spoiled Asshole
New Jersey governor and presidential thirst-haver Chris Christie is a Man of the People, an image he eagerly reinforces by relentlessly roaming the New Jersey boardwalks, yelling Bruce Springsteen lyrics and occasionally picking fights with his constituents. But a New York Times story today reveals Christie has also…
Chris Christie Says Vaccinating Your Kids Should Be a Choice
In remarks that may be too much even for the political party that consistently denies the existence of climate change, Chris Christie says that it's important to strike a "balance" when it comes to vaccinations. Damn, I knew Republicans like to harken back to the 1950s, but bringing back measles as a rite of passage…
Report: Don't Blame Chris Christie, Blame His Right-Hand Woman
According to an internal review, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is free and clear of any charges that he was involved in a high school-style prank to close lanes on the George Washington Bridge. Not cleared: His now-fired deputy chief of staff of intergovernmental affairs Bridget Anne Kelly, who is being thrown…
What's Worse: Human Trafficking or Public Corruption?
Pick your poison: crooked elected officials, or human trafficking? Apparently, that's the kind of choice you make when you're a U.S. Attorney. Which is how Chris Christie ended up going relatively easy on a suspected trafficker, while nailing a shady mayor.
Bruce Springsteen and Fallon Did an Amazing Chris Christie Parody
Last night on Late Night, Jimmy Fallon came out dressed as New Jersey-born rock legend Bruce Springsteen to perform a parody of Springsteen's "Born to Run," rewritten to make fun of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's recent bridge scandal.
Chris Christie Is a Petty Asshole
Today, new emails have surfaced that prove what many have long suspected: Chris Christie is a vindictive, bullying asshole who has no business running a White Castle, much less an entire state.
Stop Using the Fast Food Strike to Make Fun of Fat People
Fast food workers in 100 cities went on strike yesterday, agitating for a $15 minimum wage and the right to unionize. It's the latest move in a series of protests that have grown and gained momentum over the past year—a brave, necessary, and unequivocal clarion call for the dignity and humanity of America's low-wage…
