Jezebel
leftovers
Posts Tagged “
Chocolate
”
Ass In A Box
We're hoping this is a joke. Incredible Edible Anus: Pure Belgian chocolate in the shape of an asshole. If it is indeed not a joke, we're gonna stick with chocolate dicks. [Edible Anus]
leftovers
Researchers at the University of East Anglia in Norwich think that chocolate might prevent heart disease in women with diabetes. But to prove their point they need 150 women to volunteer for their study and eat chocolate every single day for a year. Meanwhile, researchers at Yale are pretty sure that chocolate can prevent preeclampsia in pregnant women. Five or more servings of chocolate a day could be enough to reduce risk of developing the condition by at least 40%. [CNN, Telegraph]
fine lines
The Chocolate War: Life's Tough, Kid
Welcome to 'Fine Lines', the Friday feature in which we give a sentimental, sometimes-critical, far more wrinkled look at the children's and YA books we loved in our youth. This week, New York Observer reporter, blogger and Postcards From Yo Momma co-creator Doree Shafrir rereads 'The Chocolate War,' Robert Cormier's 1974 novel about a 14-year-old boy who stands up to the bullies at his high school.
Back when teenagers still bought books that didn't feature a paranormal love interest, a school for wizards, or spoiled Upper East Side prep schoolers, there were books like Robert Cormier's The Chocolate War, which featured an all-male, working-class cast of characters at a Catholic school in Massachusetts (as did most of Cormier's books; he grew up Catholic in Leominster, Mass.). In fact, when I suggested rereading The Chocolate War, I soon realized that I had had another one of Cormier's books in mind, the deeply weird, depressing I Am the Cheese, in which the reader slowly realizes that the narrator is, in fact, in a mental hospital and tried to kill himself. More »
Remember Angelique (aka Frenchie) from Rock of Love 2? Of course you do! How could you possibly forget someone who makes chocolate mousse that she licks off her own tits? Lucky for us, Angelique has shared her special French recipe for her special French chocolate mousse. [VH1]
If making a chocolate penis seems like too much work (and it is), you can buy these Chocolate Party Hats that you can sit atop a peen to spice up a beej. [Chocolate Party Hats]
today in catalogs
Harry, David, Dean & Deluca: Chocolate Pagan Easter Symbols And $6,000 Caviar
So: There was an ancient pagan goddess of spring named Eostre who was celebrated during the Vernal (spring) equinox. Hares (and rabbits) were symbols of the fertility of the season; the saying "mad as a March hare" came from the fact that the critters had so much sex during that time of the year. Eggs were also ancient symbols of fertility because, duh, life hatches from them. And back in the day, people would see hares hopping around in meadows and find nests of plover eggs, then mistakenly think that the fuzzy bunnies were laying them. Then arrival of Christianity confused everything and now some people celebrate Jesus with chocolate egg-laying bunnies. Insane? Sure! But there's candy involved, so it's okay. Easter foodstuffs from Harry & David as well as Dean & Deluca, after the jump. More »
gender benders
Harriet The Spy: Iconoclastic, American Lezebel Icon
NPR's "Morning Edition" ran a segment this morning on what a groundbreaking work of young adult fiction Harriet the Spy was when it debuted in 1964. According to NPR correspondent Neva Grant, heroine Harriet M. Welsch was considered controversial because "Harriet saw too much, said too much. She even had to see a psychiatrist." Some schools banned the book, explains Grant, and some critics hated it, but readers, especially those who felt that they were outside the mainstream, appreciated that Harriet loved herself, disheveled hair and all. (You can get some more Harriet love in last Friday's Fine Lines column). Readers like Kathleen Horning, now a librarian in Wisconsin, liked the fact that Harriet was a tomboy who, unlike many 50s and 60s heroines, didn't have to go through a girlified redemption by the end of the book. In fact, as Grant reports, like Harriet, Horning was a "tomboy who didn't want to reform." Later on, Horning realized she was a lesbian. More »
test drives
Sexual Chocolate: Testing The Clone-A-Willy Kit
Clone-A-Willy kits enable you to make penis-shaped chocolate pops, candles, or soap from a mold you create out of a real-live boner. I've used a DIY dildo kit before, but the dildo it made was so fucking disgusting looking — all pock-marked like Edward James Olmos — and it smelled like it would give me cancer. But it didn't matter because I don't even ever masturbate with dildos anyway. The Clone-a-Willy kits, however, make products that I can at least put to good use. So the other week, I ordered all three of those kits, plus some Clone-a-Pussy kits to make vulva chocolate and last night, invited a friend (and his penis) over to help me out. (Some stuff after the jump NSFW.) More »
Sexual Chocolate
Stuck on something to hand out Valentine's Day? How about some Sweet Pussy? The chocolate lollipop vaginas come (heh heh) in batches of a dozen, which gives you plenty of practice pops to see how many licks it takes to get to the center of the... yeah, we'll stop now. [Random Good Stuff]
Stuck on something to hand out Valentine's Day? How about some Sweet Pussy? The chocolate lollipop vaginas come (heh heh) in batches of a dozen, which gives you plenty of practice pops to see how many licks it takes to get to the center of the... yeah, we'll stop now. [Random Good Stuff]
clips
A Warning From Fox News: Old Food Expires
This just in: Old food might not be OK to eat! The thoughtful folks at Fox News have informed us that there were worms found in an old box of chocolates somewhere at some point, so they decided to dedicate some airtime to let us know how we can avoid such a thing. First, don't shop in stores that look dirty. (Translation: Stay out of the bodegas in poor neighborhoods.) Secondly, don't buy chocolates off of dusty shelves. (Translation: What the fuck did we just tell you about low-income neighborhoods? They live off our tax dollars and now they're giving us worms!) Thanks, Fox! Usually you put me off me off my lunch, and now you've put me off dessert as well. This diet rules!
We've just discovered a delightful little product called Men's Pocky. For those of you unfamiliar with regular Pocky, it's a Japanese pretzel snack covered in chocolate. The "Men's" version is covered in bitter chocolate. The promotional material at the bottom of the packaging says it's "crispy pretzel dipped in dark chocolate for the type of person who enjoys the finer points in life." [Pier Mall]
Lip Smackers
Ben & Jerry's is now doing ice cream-flavored lip balms that come in mini ice cream cartons. Available flavors are Peanut Butter Cup, Chocolate Fudge Brownie, and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. Lip smacking indeed! [Fashionista]
Ben & Jerry's is now doing ice cream-flavored lip balms that come in mini ice cream cartons. Available flavors are Peanut Butter Cup, Chocolate Fudge Brownie, and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. Lip smacking indeed! [Fashionista]
foreign affairs
British Women Prefer Buying To Boning
Would you rather have a lovely pair of Miu Miu heels on your feet, or a beautiful pee in your vag? Apparently four out of ten British women would prefer new shoes! A new study which appeared in First magazine says that although 40% of women prefer shopping to sex, 94% of women described themselves as "happily married." How happy can you be if you'd rather go to Harvey Nicks than get a good rogering? But the stats make sense, since 37% of British ladies polled say they could be happy in a sexless marriage. The Daily Mail has relationship psychologist Anjula Mutanda weigh in on the stats, and she's rather alarmed. "Having no sex at all creates distance and resentment. A once loving and tactile relationship becomes the equivalent of living with your brother or sister." More »
Fashion Week Daily, the US Weekly of the fashion industry, has the perfect suggestion for that extra-special someone: A 1 lb. chocolate Santa with a butt plug! No, it's only a tree, but to us, it looks more naughty than nice. (Click on tag to enlarge) [Fashion Week Daily]
cuckoo for cocoa
PMS About To Get A Lot Less Fun
They say change is good. But there are things in this world that should be appreciated as is, i.e. don't change the formula for Coca-Cola; admit that Bob Barker is the one true host of The Price Is Right; don't touch chocolate! The Grocery Manufacturers Association wants to be able to make chocolate with vegetable oil, reports ABC News. In this country, a product cannot be labeled chocolate unless it is made with cocoa butter. Using vegetable oil would make chocolate cheaper to produce, and help the GMA "modernize." But the impact could affect as many as 50 million people around the world who depend upon cocoa for their livelihood. Not to mention those of us who are admitted chocoholics! More »
British men continue to get a bad rap with regards to their bedroom skills: The Daily Mirror is reporting that English roses prefer chocolate (hopefully Cadbury!) to sex. [DailyMirror]
broadsides
Broadsides: Despite What Studies Say, French-Kissing Still More Exciting Than Belgian Chocolate
- Eating chocolate is more of a turn-on than kissing, says a new study. Bullshit! Everyone remembers their first kiss! Who remembers their first Hersheys? [DailyTelegraph]
