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Dov Charney's Choate Report Cards: Real
American Apparel Founder Got A B+ In Ethics

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rhymeswithfeather
03/09/09

In reply to Dov Charney's Choate Report Cards: Real
Oh fuck. He's Canadian?! I already have to apologize daily for Pam Anderson and Avril Lavigne.

Also, I'd just like to mention how often I feel conflicted about organizations I want to support. To me, American Apparel is like PETA -- two organizations who do some pretty positive things, while doing some pretty misogynist things. I am passionate about animal rights and fair wages for garment workers... why must they come served with a heaping side of female exploitation?

(And yes, I support my local SPCA and fair-trade, sweat-shop free brands. I know there are other alternatives. But sometimes, I want to protest KFC and wear mass-produced hipster shit, damnit.)
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D2theMatthews
03/09/09

In reply to Dov Charney's Choate Report Cards: Real
That was a really glowing review for a B+.
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applejuice
03/09/09

@GiuseppeRoloson: No crap. What do they do when you gat an A+, actually make out with you?

Yuck. That put an awful picture of Dov Charney in my head. Gag me with a spoon.
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Snowbunny
03/09/09

In reply to Dov Charney's Choate Report Cards: Real
Well, Mills is such an obscure name and philosopher, it isn't like he defined utilitarianism or anything. Why bother to learn how to spell a five-letter, important man's name correctly. Lame. I have better things to be doing with my $33K a year life.
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TheolaCinna
03/09/09

@Snow@Snowbunny:

This is obviously the greatest comment ever.

In your hurried attempt to lambast the honest 20-something-year-old mistake of a high school educator, you actually forgot to bother to learn how to spell the FOUR-letter name of that important man.

I giggled when I saw the first mistake, but then you continued to dig that hole with your explicit counting of the letters.

You must be a joy to be around with your pseudo-intellectual pretensions. Bravo, Snowbunny, for that beautifully disastrous presentation of your blind hate.
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Snowbunny
03/10/09

@TheolaCinna: Thank you, thank you, I do try.
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Eleanor Ramilly
03/09/09

In reply to Dov Charney's Choate Report Cards: Real
Even if they are real there is no way in hell these were not released by a PR flak. "Convenient" doesn't even begin to describe it. Like some random worker at the factory would suddenly decide to up and scan these documents.

Also it just lends further evidence to the fact that Charney is a narcissistic, self-congratulatory person that he would have his report cards hanging up for all to see.
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ritualtheory
03/09/09

@Shannon: So getting my SAT scores tattooed on my knuckles would be a bad idea, huh? Yeah, I thought so.
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kelsium
03/09/09

In reply to Dov Charney's Choate Report Cards: Real
This confirms my theory: charming, slithery, no morals...

Dov Charney is Voldemort.
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Eleanor Ramilly
03/09/09

@kelsium: You know we cannot speak his name, fool!
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ritualtheory
03/09/09

In reply to Dov Charney's Choate Report Cards: Real
That's absolutely pathetic. Regarding Choate, I mean. For the sake of presently-enrolled young rich kids and their merit-scholarship-winning brethren and sistren, I hope to hell the excess of kissassery in Charney's files is a thing of the distant past. And I don't even know where to begin with that "Mills" business.
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marshmallory
03/09/09

In reply to Dov Charney's Choate Report Cards: Real
That still doesn't explain why his teachers wrote him love letters like gushing 12-year-old girls on his report cards.
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EkaterinaBallerina
03/09/09

In reply to Dov Charney's Choate Report Cards: Real
The Menendez Brothers attended my high school before they moved to LA and offed their parents. Only a few of their former teachers still remain, but all have said they seemed fairly normal and nice. Just another example of how the person you can be in high school is not necessarily a reflection of who'll you be later in life.
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baraqiel
03/09/09

In reply to Dov Charney's Choate Report Cards: Real
Um, being liked by teachers doesn't mean you're a nice person. Just saying.
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Abra
03/09/09

@baraqiel: So true. I think we all had That Guy in a class at some point.
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Eleanor Ramilly
03/09/09

@Abra: I majored in Literature. I had about seven That Guys in every class.
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Abra
03/09/09

@Shannon: I'm so sorry. I'm majoring in Art History, so there's pretty much only One Guy. He's not so bad.
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hannapdx
03/09/09

In reply to Dov Charney's Choate Report Cards: Real
It still seems a bit too convenient for me to buy.
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aubonpam
03/06/09

In reply to American Apparel Founder Got A B+ In Ethics
Choate just makes me think of Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, because I am a giant wastecase who spends all day huffing a bong and watching cartoon network and obviously did not attend Choate.
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SnigdhaCheetah
03/06/09

In reply to American Apparel Founder Got A B+ In Ethics
i don't know why, but when i read this, i immediately thought of max fischer from rushmore.
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kelsium
03/06/09

@SnigdhaCheetah: Take it back!
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Pocahaunted
03/06/09

In reply to American Apparel Founder Got A B+ In Ethics
Hahaha Choate.

My boyfriend grew up in Wallingford CT (where Choate is). He has a criminal record from getting blackout drunk the day after his 18th birthday and chasing the kids around with his car. On the front grass quad of the school.

He crashed into an archway and his friends bailed, but he was so drunk he continued the terror on foot.
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pyrrhic
03/06/09

@littlebambi: THAT WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND? He's a fucking legend!
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Pocahaunted
03/06/09

@pyrrhic: Oh my god you know about that?!

Did you go to Choate? What do they say about it?! He'll be so stoked to know he's a legend. I always felt kind of sorry for the kids, heh.
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Smitros
03/06/09

@littlebambi:

There's a civic holiday in honor of this, right?
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Monster Chalk
03/06/09

In reply to American Apparel Founder Got A B+ In Ethics
I vote that Dov is my mother fuckin' hero.... right behind Stephen Fowler. Of course.
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kelsium
03/06/09

@Monster Chalk: You are in the minority.
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attilathehoney
03/06/09

In reply to American Apparel Founder Got A B+ In Ethics
What the B+ tells me is that he was there for the section on how important it is to pay people a fair wage for their work, but missed the day where the professor explained that you were supposed to pay in money not coke and a free peep-show.
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kelsium
03/06/09

@attilathehoney: And the part where ladies are people. But they seem to skim over that chapter at a lot of prep schools.
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attilathehoney
03/06/09

@kelsium: Duh! Ethics is only for like, real people. With penises.
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argle-bargle? or fou-ferraw?
03/06/09

@attilathehoney: and moustaches.
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