Jezebel: chivalry

This Week We Had A Ball

Jessica — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 18:30:00 EST

...Just like Lance Armstrong, Hitler, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the other dudes with a single testicle.
But as far as we know, those dudes have bellybuttons, unlike Karolina Kurkova, the no-navel icon.
She may have a navel, but Lori Drew has no soul.
Michelle Obama has a soul and, according to an obsessed Salon scribe, a big butt.

Do vampires like big butts? Maybe we'll find out as Twilight mania takes over the nation.
Vampires seem rather chivalrous, unlike many modern men, so at least they'd let your big butt in the cab first.
Speaking of nether regions, one time Carrie Fisher's mom got her a vibrator for Christmas.
A wrap dress will cover up your business (usually), but is it ever flattering?
Victoria's Secret fashion show: covering your business in maribou since 1977.
You guys. Thank effing Gawd it's Friday! So eat, read celebrity gossip on the internet and nap the day away. You deserve it!

5 Rules Of The New Chivalry

Tracie — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:30:00 EST

This morning on Today, "experts" weighed in on the hot button issue of chivalry, and whether the concept is dead, outdated, or just plain unfeminist. We don't think that chivalry is dead, and we don't think that women on the receiving end of it are less feminist, but we do think some of the rules of etiquette need to be revamped to reflect the shifts in gender roles. The misconception is that, deep down, all women want a bad boy. Untrue: We just don't want someone who kisses our asses or behaves like a doormat. But that doesn't mean that manners should be thrown out the window. We know it seems like we want it both ways: equality and courtesy. But why must the two be mutually exclusive? Besides, shouldn't there be a few trade offs, or benefits, for the crap we have to put up with as women? We've come up with an updated list of rules of the new chivalry for the modern man…and woman.

1.) Give her your seat. Not because she's a woman, but because her shoes hurt more than yours. Like really a lot more.

2.) Get in the cab first. This is something that men just don't get. They try to be polite and open the cab door for a woman to get in, and then the woman has to slide over—usually in a skirt—holding her bag, and it's all awkward and shit, and she kinda slides off the seat of her coat and then the back of her coat is like shifted and kinda next to her, and then there's all his readjusting that needs to happen. Just get in the cab first, ferchristsakes.

3.) Pick up the check. We'll pretend to offer and you'll pretend the offer was real. We honestly don't mind putting our pride to the side when it comes to this.

4.) Wipe the cum off her first before you wipe it off yourself. There's seriously nothing ruder than blowing a big wad all over a girl and then cleaning off your dick first before you go get her a towel or some tissues. Extra points for not getting any cum in her hair.

5.) Offer to do everything for her when her nails are wet. It sucks when a woman pays good money to get a manicure and then she has to get something out of her purse when her nails are still tacky. Help her out by lighting her cigarette, opening her can of soda, or wiping after she pees.

Related: Is Chivalry Dead? [NBC News]

Why Chivalry Is Actually Clinging Stubbornly To Life

Moe — Thu, 22 May 2008 17:40:00 EDT

Dear Alana Germany, today you delivered an essay on the NPR show Day To Day about the death of chivalry in your 21-year-old peer group, and babe, lemme tell you, I'm not generally your oracle if you're looking for a rosy view of the future of kids today, but this is one thing that will get better. I, too, was raised by a dad who sent my mom flowers at work every week and addressed her with pet names like "E.J." — stands for "Earthy Joys," natch — only to spend my first five years of dating dudes who learned their manners from West Coast hip-hop lyrics. But chivalry survived Dre, and it will outlive Joe Francis also. School is just one of those hostile environments that never gives it a chance to grow. And then you leave. And the thing about the stubborn persistence of traditional gender roles is: you are wayyy more likely to date a dude who's significantly older than you than those boys calling you "Mami" on the street are to land a "cougar." Eventually they look around and realize all the girls they fucked in college are dating thirtysomethings, and for awhile they'll just be sullen and pissed off about that, attributing it to thirtysomething dudes' superior dining choices and real estate and other synonyms for "money." And then.

Then, they'll meet one of these thirtysomething guys at work — not one of the real good ones, just one of those single thirtysomething guys who "relates" better to younger dudes and enjoys deluding himself into thinking he's somebody's mentor. Well, that guy doesn't have any money either. But he totally has chicks! What's his secret? Chivalry. It's fun, free, it gets you laid and as a bonus, totally makes dudes feel superior to one another. Just ask Tracie! (She's dating a 22-year-old.)

Disrespect Is The New Chivalry [NPR]

Dear Ladies: Chivalry Makes "Life More Worth Living"

Jessica — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Do you care if a guy opens the door for you? If he pulls your chair out at dinner? Well a British dating site, DatingDirect.com, surveyed 1,000 British men, and whether you like it or not they enjoy being chivalrous. According to the Times of London, 56% of British dudes "enjoy" paying for dinner on a date, and 34% of men will "frequently defend a woman's honour." There's also an accompanying video to the Times article, where a dowdy middle aged British lady, relationship psychologist Susan Quilliam, says things like "even though women want to be equal and we don't want to be patronized," those little chivalrous gestures are what "makes life more worth living!" Woa there, lady. I'm not going to lie, like many of you, I am a "cursory purse grabber" who likes a dude to pay on the first date. But I wouldn't say that's what makes life worth living.

Also, defending a woman's honor frequently? Like the Times of London writer Arion McNicoll jokes, "Frequently? Are we talking fisticuffs or pistols at dawn? I am embarrassed to confess that I fall into the lily-livered 66 per cent, who would rather shuffle off quietly than take matters outside when my lady's virtue is at issue." In college I had a boyfriend try to start a shoving match at the campus bar with a hockey player who was hitting on me in a really gross manner. Part of me was secretly titillated that he was willing to get the crap beat out of him by a Neanderthal on my behalf. The other part of me just wanted to get the fuck out of there and avoid a messy, possibly-violent conflict. So basically I thought he was being an asshole but I loved him for it. Sigh.

Chivalry Is Dead, Long Live Chivalry[Times of London]