Everyone is famous; all it takes is one viral video or dumb reality show or talent contest to project an unknown into the weird realm of celebrity, where every move they make is documented and fawned over (or ripped apart) until the public tires of them and moves on to something else. In a way, this has always been the case for celebrity, in terms of having unknowns suddenly become the "next big thing," but the instant access to millions via the internet has enabled everyone to take a shot at becoming a star, regardless of their location, age, or talent level, and the "next big thing" has seen his or her 15 minutes shrink down to approximately 2.8 seconds. Unless, of course, you're Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, who will never disappear, because the universe just likes to fuck with us sometimes.

In a world where everyone is a star, it's not surprising that children are looking at fame not as a one-in-a-million shot, but as a right and an inevitability. Kids are always dreaming of the far-fetched, but as Denise Martin of the Los Angeles Times points out, selling the concept of celebrity to kids has become a full-blown business, with children's television shows increasingly focusing on the life of tween celebrities. Martin notes that selling celebrity fantasies to kids is nothing new, "but the genre is stronger than ever now and more fixated on the perks of the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle as Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel compete for the youngest audiences."

Martin interviews several producers, directors, and execs involved in the celebrity kid show genre, and all of them seem to have a "well, it's what the kids want" kind of attitude that completely dismisses the notion that perhaps kids want to watch shows about insta-celebs and famous tweens because it's been shoved down their throat since birth. "If there is anything I've learned about kids today — and I'm not saying this is good or bad — it's that they all want to be stars," iCarly' Dan Schneider tells Martin, "I'm not saying it wouldn't be nice if more of them wanted to be teachers and social workers; it would be. But at least in 'Victorious,' you see a world where they're all working on the talent part."

I don't think anybody expects Nickelodeon or the Disney Channel to put out a television show about a young girl who dreams of being a social worker, but the main issue I have with the celebrity kid genre is that it's so, so boring. It's SO boring! Granted, I'm 28 years old and not the target demographic, but it seems like every show is centered around a singer, or a fashion designer, or an actress who has to deal with the pressures of fame. Where are the Pete & Petes of this generation? The Clarissas? The Hey, Dudes? The shows that are capable of capturing kids' attention and pushing positive themes without drowning the messages in sparkles and plot lines about going on tour or what a drag it is to be famous? Where are the shows about real kids in real situations? Will somebody please think of the children?!

"Every kid thinks they're five minutes away and one lucky circumstance from being famous," Nickelodeon's Marjorie Cohn tells Martin, "We've always responded to what's out there in the cultural zeitgeist and spin it Nickelodeon style." It's too bad that nobody is bothering to take the reins and perhaps change the way kids look at life. It's not that I think kids are idiots and can't just enjoy fantasy programs for what they are, but when the adults of society are also buying in to the insta-celebrity crap, it may be harder for kids to separate reality from fiction. Being famous isn't everything, no matter what the television tells you. If only Clarissa were still around to explain it all.

Child's Play [LATimes]

Kami is the world's first HIV-positive Muppet. She was introduced back in 2002 to help educate kids about living with HIV/AIDS and promote acceptance of HIV-positive individuals (her name is derived from the Setswana word "Kamogelo," meaning "acceptance.") Kami, who lost her mother to AIDS, is quite knowledgable about the disease, and frequently speaks with the other Muppets about the things you can and cannot do with an HIV-positive person (sex is never mentioned - the focus is more on hugging and dealing with sadness than body-to-body transmission of the disease). The blog U Don't Like My Opinion describes her as a "healthy HIV Positive, affectionate 5 year old orphan who is a little shy but quickly joins when approached in a friendly way."

Despite Kami's positive message, some disapprove of including an HIV-positive character on a children's show. Yesterday, The Week ran a roundup of the ten most controversial moments in Sesame Street history, where Kami is listed alongside other such "scandals" as the furor over Cookie Monster's unhealthy diet and Oscar the Grouch's mood swings. According to The Week, "some parents protest that their children are too young to face the harsh realities of the virus." Juhie Bhatia for Global Voices notes that much of the controversy was located in the U.S. Although Kami has never appeared on American Sesame Street, conservatives were all up in arms before her launch in 2002, apparently riled up by the fear that she would start indoctrinate kids into the homosexual lifestyle. Kami's Wikipedia page quotes a letter from the Traditional Values Coalition:

The introduction of an HIV-infected Muppet on Sesame Street is problematic because HIV is spread primarily by homosexuals and bisexuals in the U.S. It is likely that an HIV-infected Muppet would be used to teach tolerance and acceptance of homosexuals to the preschool Sesame Street audience. In effect, this would be another propaganda tool to normalize homosexuality in our culture.

Some bloggers agree. Bhatia quotes a blogger who argues that a character like Kami is unnecessary in America, because children here "are not forced to deal with the issue of HIV/AIDS at that young of an age." Rosemarie Truglio, vice president of education and research for Sesame Workshop, responds to this type of criticism in an interview with USA Today,

"We get letters all the time," Truglio says. "My response is always this: Sesame Street is this wonderful, multicultural place where we celebrate differences as well as similarities. I want to make sure – and I've inherited this mission from our founders – that when kids watch this show, they can all see themselves."

Fortunately, Truglio's attitude seems to be the prevailing one. Kami has been named a UNICEF global Champion for Children. She has appeared alongside Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela, and interviewed by Katie Couric. In 2006, she spoke with Bill Clinton about AIDS and acceptance (the video is available online here). Despite the haters, Kami has become a lasting piece of Sesame Street's history, and although we probably won't be seeing Kami in the U.S. anytime soon, she is an example of Sesame Street's willingness to weather controversy in favor of education. Tuglio explains, "we never talk down to children, and we're not afraid to explore sensitive topics."

Sesame Street's HIV-Positive Muppet Raises Awareness [Global Voices Online]
At 40, Sesame Street Is In A Constant State Of Renewal [USA Today]
Kami [Wikipedia]
Top 10 Sesame Street Controversies [The Week]
President Clinton And Muppet Kami Share HIV/AIDS Message [Unicef Youtube]

"Can we fix it? No we can't. Not ever. It's just too dreadful," writes Alice Thomson of Bob the Builder. Thomson's children adore the show, and though she's tried, she just can't get into it. "I have watched the DVDs, read the books, slept with Scoop, Muck and Dizzy and my son all squeezed into the same bed, but the charms of Sunflower Valley elude me. But I know when I throw out the children's toys, the much-cherished, half-mangled builder is the one I will have to keep."

Simon Mills has an equal amount of rage for Barney: "Mostly I hate Barney ("I hate him, he hates me, we are not a happy family") because his kiddie-centric political correctness invaded the nice shouty mayhem of our house like a saccharine virus," Mills writes, "My eldest actually met him once (the photos still give me shivers). You do not know what hell is until you have had to watch Barney's Christmas for the 700th time ... in July."

After babysitting my beloved niece and nephews on several occasions, I can firmly say that I could easily live in a world without the Wonder Pets. Especially the little duck who yells, "This is seewious!" in every single episode. "He's promoting a speech impediment," I told my sister.

"He's a cute little duck who saves the day," she frowned, giving me her best "bish plz."

Luckily, my niece and nephews also enjoy such awesome programming as Yo Gabba Gabba, Oswald, and The Backyardigans (which I can only take in small increments- after a while the singing becomes too much) so we can avoid The Wonder Pets when necessary.

Are there any children's shows that drive you insane? Do you suffer through them for the kids? And if you could give any character a piece of your mind, what would you say? Would you tell Blue to get a clue? Tell Diego to just go, forever? Or perhaps you'd ask Miffy to just say something for once? Remember: this is seewious, you guys.

Why Children's TV Drives Us All Barney [Times of London]

Even though we all grew up watching the Muppets, most people have no idea that Cookie Monster got his start in a 1967 IBM training video, Miss Piggy was driven to the beauty pageant circuit by a rough childhood in Iowa, or that when in Pakistan, Oscar the Grouch lives in an oil barrel. [Mental Floss]

The Electric Company [PBSKids]
New 'Electric Company' (All Together Now) HEY YOU GUUUYS! [EW]