childbrides - Jezebel

posts about #childbrides more →
India's Child Brides Say "I Don't"
Babies Having Babies
Indian Kids Become Workers, Wives
"Australian Fritzl" Makes Headlines After 30 Years Of Abuse • Man Wins Ladies' Poker Tournament
12-Year-Old Child Bride Dies In Labor
After Divorce, Life Is Still Bleak For Former Child Bride
Recycle Old Sex Toys Into Snack Sorters • Study: Divorce Is Bad For Health
Baby Girls On The Black Market
Have Polygamists Had A Change Of Heart On Underage Marriage?
Judge Refuses To Divorce 8-Year-Old Girl, Sparks International Debate

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yvanehtnioj
11/13/09

In reply to India's Child Brides Say "I Don't"
If that face doesn't say "Quit taking my f*cking picture!" I don't know what does. #childmarriageindia
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sybann
11/13/09

In reply to India's Child Brides Say "I Don't"
Women as property - chattel. More like cattle. #childmarriageindia
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Kivrin
11/13/09

In reply to India's Child Brides Say "I Don't"
The world makes me very sad sometimes*.

*Every day
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Edited by Kivrin at 11/13/09 1:46 PM Kivrin was starred Kivrin was unstarred

Hooplehead
11/13/09

In reply to India's Child Brides Say "I Don't"
"In 1992, Bhanwari Devi, a village woman working for a nonprofit group, was gang-raped after she tried to prevent a child marriage. The accused men were acquitted on the grounds that "upper caste men, including a Brahmin, would not rape a woman of a lower caste," according to the court ruling."

Seriously, WTF India? The fact that the caste system is being used as a rape defense shouldn't surprise me, but somehow still does. #childmarriageindia
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LexiD523
11/13/09

@Hooplehead: I was under the impression that the caste system had been abolished, and therefore would not be a legally valid defense. #childmarriageindia
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KaneBaker
11/13/09

@LexiD523: I know someone here in north america that was disowned by her family of doctors after she married an indian guy in IT (not up to par with the doctors caste). Than her family proceeded to send her bills for the education they paid for, since she was not their daughter any more.

I like diverse culture, but hey India, the caste system is fucking stupid. It's alive and well in North America never mind India. #childmarriageindia
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Hooplehead
11/13/09

@LexiD523: According to the ruling quoted above in the LAT, it was valid enough to get the scumbags off. #childmarriageindia
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Erda
11/13/09

@KaneBaker: It's like racial segregation here in America. Sure, it's not legally mandated anymore, but the de facto barriers are still there.

I thought the caste system was gone with the wind too, until I realized all my Indian-American friends (who all come from affluent, well-educated backgrounds) are Brahmins or Kshatriyas.* The lower castes aren't the ones with the resources to make it into the top universities and then get jobs as doctors or engineers in America.

*"Priest" and "warrior" castes, for those not as familiar with Indian culture. The two highest castes. #childmarriageindia
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rikki-tikki-tavi
11/13/09

@Erda: My family's from the lowest caste possible in India, and yet they have tons of money in their family. Enough that my great grandfather started a non-profit K-12 and college for underprivileged girls and women, and my father recently paying the start up cost and building for non-profit university for underprivileged Indian children.
There is also laws in lots of places in India which are affirmative action but for low caste students. Mandating that a certain percentage of seats are only given to low caste students.

Your friends being of similar caste has to do more with their family's social circle. I know tons of poor Brahmins and Kshatriyas (just like I've seen very dark Brahmins, and my grandmother is as light as most 'white' women in the US).

Sadly, America isn't as good as it use to be in trying to break the economic ties of professionals. In recent years more students are limited into entering medical and law school from how much money their family makes. #childmarriageindia
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Marken.Baker
11/13/09

@Hooplehead: I'm not surprised. No matter what the Indian gov. says the caste system is alive and well. My husband is a Brahman and his family takes the caste system very seriously and did all sorts of awful things to try to break us up including on the day we got married. They thought they'd get to pick him a Brahman bride from their subcaste and him getting married to a WASP was definitely not what they had planned.
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Hana Maru
11/13/09

@LexiD523: Caste has been abolished by the constitution, and discrimination is illega. There is also some affirmative action for the dalits, but it's still well entrenched in the culture and Hindu religion. #childmarriageindia
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Erda
11/13/09

@rikki-tikki-tavi: Sorry for the misunderstanding. I had also been told by my friends that most affluent Indian-Americans are Brahmins or Kshatriyas, so I wasn't just jumping to conclusions, but apparently they were.

It's nice to see that the caste system is not as rigid as I thought it was, though apparently there is still a lot of work that needs to be done. #childmarriageindia
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kavitabk
11/14/09

@Hooplehead: Not only that but upper-caste men are ESPECIALLY likely to rape Dalit and other lower-caste women. As we know rape is a tool of exerting power, control and authority over a vulnerable person, that is exactly what this situation was all about. Not to mention the literally countless incidents of gang rape and murder of Dalits by upper-caste people. #childmarriageindia
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Kivrin
11/13/09

In reply to India's Child Brides Say "I Don't"
I'm curious about the justification for legal marrying age being 21 for males and 18 for females. #childmarriageindia
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PhDelish
11/13/09

@Kivrin: I doubt it's the whole "boys take longer to mature" thing - I think that's probably a culture specific aphorism. I don't know, either! #childmarriageindia
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Sadako
11/04/09

In reply to Babies Having Babies
A new toy? I think she's in for a rude awakening.

The freaky thing is that at 11 she looks older than I do at 25 now. #kidstoday
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sybann
11/04/09

@Sadako: Wait ten years - you think she looks old NOW? #kidstoday
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seekay22
11/04/09

In reply to Babies Having Babies
What 19 year old guy thinks of going on a "date" with an 11 y.o. child?!? #kidstoday
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BetteD
11/04/09

@seekay22: Um, a pedophile? #kidstoday
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ArtfulSlinger
11/04/09

In reply to Babies Having Babies
This Halloween, I had one set of trick or treaters. They were all under the age of 13. There were two girls and what I believe was their younger brother, about 9. The eldest, 13 at the most, was pushing HER baby in a stroller trick or treating. She asked for pretzels over the candy I had, to keep the baby weight off. I broke inside. #kidstoday
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The Queen of No
11/04/09

In reply to Babies Having Babies
I didn't even know what the mechanics of sex were when I was 11. How terrifying. #kidstoday
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BetteD
11/04/09

@The Queen of No: At 11, I didn't know what a penis looked like, nor did I have any interest at all. Fuck. #kidstoday
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lafleur
11/04/09

In reply to Babies Having Babies
Whether or not we agree with her choices, her "boyfriend" is actually her boyfriend, sans quotation marks.

ETA: And er... this situation is gross.
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fauxfruit
11/04/09

@lafleur: I think they used quotation marks because he's also her rapist. #kidstoday
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Blitzgal
11/04/09

@lafleur: Except even according to the law in that country, she was not old enough to legally give consent. As far as the law was concerned she is not able to make that choice, period. And him "not knowing" how old she actually was is not a legal defense.

I couldn't see in the article -- are they dropping the charges against him because the two are now married? #kidstoday
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Atomic Bowling
11/04/09

@Blitzgal: As far as the law is concerned, she's not allowed to choose to have sex with him (or anyone). That doesn't mean she can't decide who she is going to call her boyfriend (as creepy as it may be).

As for the charges, I would assume that they won't be affected by the marriage, since it doesn't seem like the marriage is recognizable by Bulgarian law (with consent of parents the minimum age of marriage is 16). It seems like the marriage is recognized by the Roma community, but they aren't the ones responsible for prosecuting him for what he did. #kidstoday
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lafleur
11/04/09

@Atomic Bowling: "That doesn't mean she can't decide who she is going to call her boyfriend (as creepy as it may be)."

Right. That's what I meant-- not that I sanction their marriage or sexual relationship by any means. #kidstoday
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DrWorm
11/04/09

In reply to Babies Having Babies
the fact that she sees it as a toy makes me fear she might start playing basketball with it #kidstoday
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KentuckyBabe
11/04/09

@DrWorm: i doubt she actually considers her baby a toy. #kidstoday
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lafleur
11/04/09

@KentuckyBabe: I doubt she would actually use her newborn infant as a ball in a rousing game of basketball. #kidstoday
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sweet_communist
11/04/09

@lafleur: I doubt Bulgarians play basketball.

(Okay, that's untrue. I just got caught up in the meme.) #kidstoday
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bluesbelle
11/04/09

In reply to Babies Having Babies
I've known two 12 year old girls who have given birth. One that I went to school with (the baby was stillborn) and one the daughter of a co-worker whose "boyfriend," was 21 and basically his parents bought off said co-worker's silence (in reporting the guy to the police). I myself, at 11, wasn't yet able to get pregnant and more importantly, wasn't yet able to think about sex as happening any time in my near future. My sexual awakening at 11 was limited to playing chase with boys, hitting the ones you liked on the arm, reading dirty books by Judy Blume, and imaging what my first kiss would be like one day. #kidstoday
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Jenloveshercurves
11/04/09

@bluesbelle: Why didn't you report this guy? You could have and forced the issue. I would have. He might be able to buy off those parents, but I sure as hell would have reported a 21 year old man who impregnated a twelve year old. #kidstoday
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bluesbelle
11/04/09

@Jenloveshercurves: Good question, I thought a lot about it and tried to figure out what was best for the girl and was overcome by so many competing factors, I couldn't sort out what that was. I was a LOT younger then, too. I think if I encountered the same situation now, I'd react much differently. She ended up moving to a different state where her other parent lived, had the baby there, and put it up for adoption through an open adoption. There was no more contact with the rapist/boyfriend. #kidstoday
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Jetgirly
11/04/09

In reply to Babies Having Babies
When I was in seventh grade a classmate had a baby. She was First Nations and lived in foster care. When her child was born it was put into the foster care system as well. The child was placed with a white family, and the local First Nations community strongly objected. It was a hot issue in our city for all of a week- the girl, members of the FNMI community and child welfare professionals appeared on an hour-long news special to discuss the issue. Yup, nothing like putting the twelve-year-old mom on TV to cry about how she wants her baby back. I'm not sure what the immediate outcome was, but I know by the time she was sixteen she had full custody of the kid and is still raising him today (with or without FNMI community supports). Must be a great life, being thirteen years old and having a mom who's twenty-five... #kidstoday
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Bitingpika
11/04/09

@Jetgirly: The youngest grandmother I ever met was 27, and not a very mature 27 at that. We had a conversation about getting her 7th grade daughter home-based education but they never followed through. #kidstoday
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whynotshesaid
11/04/09

@Bitingpika: Grandma? At 27?

My brain just melted. #kidstoday
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wineoceros
11/04/09

In reply to Babies Having Babies
Please, stop bursting my bubble, Jezebel.

I prefer to believe that 11-year old girls today are like we were: wearing overalls, climbing trees, and spending the lunch hour taking turns telling spooky strories and playing soccer. #kidstoday
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LindsayC: doctoral hilarity ensues
11/04/09

@wineoceros: *sigh* Yep. The most mature thing I did at 11 was to say the word "shit" while walking with friends to 7-11 to buy Slurpees. #kidstoday
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Katxyz
11/04/09

@wineoceros:

This isn't the norm. A singular case doesn't reflect a trend.

I don't know how old you are, but I know that the 11 and 12 year-olds were having babies then too. #kidstoday
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whynotshesaid
11/04/09

@Katxyz: I went to junior high school with a couple of girls who had babies, but by far most of us were either like she said, or we were trying to figure out how to imitate teenage girls.

The girls who were having babies at the age of 12 are not even close to the norm, either. #kidstoday
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fauxfruit
11/04/09

In reply to Babies Having Babies
I like the comments after the other articles that say "This is their culture, we shouldn't judge them!" Um, no, pretty sure it's still rape in Bulgaria if she's 11. If their consenting age is 14 then I see no problem in thinking this is pretty horrific without offending "their culture." It appears Bulgarians feel the same way if they have an age of consent law. #kidstoday
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MargaretMoony
11/04/09

@fauxfruit: Agreed, 100%. #kidstoday
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whynotshesaid
11/04/09

@fauxfruit: Agreed. I am fine with cultural differences when it comes to, say, whether or not a married couple lives with the family or lives on their own, or whether or not pork is okay to be eaten or whatever. But certain things are just not acceptable, no matter how "traditional" it may be. #kidstoday
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