Pittman is being held without bail. The women were all African-American and believed to be prostitutes. Police are still investigating the murders of the other four women and three missing women who fit the profile. • The persistent rumors that Chelsea Clinton was getting married in August on Martha's Vineyard obviously weren't true, as it's September and she's not married. The rumors got so bad that at one point the Clintons offered a $1,000 bet to any journalist's source that there would be no wedding. Hillary Clinton's reps issued a statement saying that they were, "sick of this insane environment where nobody bothers to heed the denials of the actual individuals involved and where facts and truth are a distant afterthought... So, if we're all going to be stuck together in this endless unfounded rumor loop through at least 8/29, let's at least make it interesting." There were no takers. • The wife of Yukio Hatoyama, who is expected to be voted Japan's next prime minister later this month, claimed in a book published last year that she rode a UFO to Venus 20 years ago. "While my body was asleep, I think my soul rode on a triangular-shaped UFO and went to Venus," said Miyuki Hatoyama. "It was a very beautiful place and it was really green." • Six women have been awarded the $25,000 Jaffe award for emerging women authors including poets Vievee Fancis, Janice Harrington and Heidy Steidlymayer; fiction writers Lori Ostlund and Helen Philips; and nonfiction writer Krista Bremer. • French doctor Pierre Foldes has developed a simple reconstructive procedure for victims of female genital mutilation that removes the painful tissue and reconstructs the clitoris by cutting ligaments to expose the root. "The results are getting better and better," he said . "Seventy two to 75 percent [of patients] are back to normal sexuality after 18 months." He has operated on more than 3,000 women in his hospital in France and is developing a program that would follow up with the women for months, giving them psychological treatment as well. • Though many teen sections in newspapers have been cut for economic reasons, the Yakima Herald-Republic's "Unleashed" section will return this fall due to an agreement with the local school district in Washington State to provide $11,500 to pay a part-time coordinator and student contributors. • Christina Aguilera, Christina Applegate, Maria Bello, Anne Hathaway, January Jones, Sherry Lansing, Sigourney Weaver, and Laura Ziskin will be honored at Variety's Power of Women luncheon on September 24 for the contributions they have made to charitable causes. • A study of nearly 30,000 people in the former Soviet Union found that binge-drinkers, and particularly women, who consumed four or five pints of beer or a bottle of wine in one day were more likely to have a "beer belly" than those who drank the same amount in a week. • The publishers of the New International Version Bible will release a revised edition that will "undo the damage" of an earlier version that tried to be more inclusive by substituting words like "he," "father," and "son" with more gender-neutral terms. Many didn't like the version, which came out in 2005. Wayne Grudem, a Biblical scholar at Phoenix Seminary in Scottsdale, Arizona, says, "I'm delighted to see they have realized the TNIV was simply never going to be accepted by the Christian public who value accuracy in translating the word of God... I'm thankful for their honesty." • To promote the Ultimate Pole Dancing Competition, there are mobile pole-dancing units bicycling around Manhattan today. • On Sunday 71-year-old Dawn Fraser, who won swimming gold medals in three Olympics, fought off and helped capture a man who tried to rob her in her home near Brisbane, Australia. "This guy came out of the gate and grabbed me and I grabbed him by the ear and I kicked him in the groin," she said. "So he had to let me go. He threatened my life and I got really annoyed about that and just grabbed him by the ear and the hair." A male friend made him lie on his stomach until the police came. • Are men really more likely to brag online? MIT researcher Philip Greenspun theorizes that men are more likely than women to participate in behaviors associated with high social status but little practical return, such as bickering over details on Wikipedia or commanding raids in World of Warcraft. • We're not sure if the front page of this newspaper is a "fail" just because it runs a photo of a woman pole dancing under the phrase "Boob bitten, woman busted," or because it also labels pole dancing "fun for the whole family."

The Good:
Even if you associate Betsey Johnson dresses with a certain segment of high school girls who you most certainly were not, how can you not love her? And! When I was a waitress, she was a regular, really kind, and a generous tipper!


Good lord, how gorgeous is Vera Wang's fringed, Depression-inflected bit of pure glamor?


I love Chelsea Clinton's feathered stealth-glam lbd. Extra points for expert hair and makeup!


Even if you're not keen on this random-peephole trend (raises hand), you must admit that Kylie Minogue is looking spiffing.


Jazmine Sullivan's many layers are so pretty and spunky and perfectly accessorized that we really hope this sparks a prom trend. Instead, obviously everyone's going to be covered in random peepholes, but hey, a girl can dream.


The Bad:
Sarah Conor demonstrates the problem with a satin dress: it can look ravishing when you slip it on, but one cab ride? And it's Fo21 department!


There is so much to love about Amy Ryan's frock, from elegant color combo to rad fabrication. But something about the shape just doesn't do her justice!


What Say You?
I for one think Rihanna does future-chic like nobody else, but is this a bridge too far for some?

[Images via Getty]

• John Mayer wrote a song called "Heartbreak Warfare" so naturally there is speculation that it's about Ms. Jennifer Aniston. But, uh, check out these lyrics:

The song goes: "If you want more love, Why don't you say so? Drop his name, push it in and twist the knife again; Watch my face as I pretend to feel no pain, pain, pain." Damn, maybe she really did say Brad's name in bed? [People]

• Speaking of Brad Pitt, he'll be in Cannes — again! — for Inglorious Basterds. [People]
• While in Malawi, Madonna has been rocking a fanny pack. Because that's what's really important, you know. What she is wearing. Not the orphaned kids. [NY Daily News]
• Chelsea Clinton's rep says the engagement reports are false and she is not getting married this summer. Boo! We were totally imagining Bill walking her up the aisle and then getting tipsy and giving a long teary speech. [Us Magazine]
• Lindsay Lohan wants you to know that she and Samantha Ronson are still together. "[The] rumors aren't true. We aren't broken up," she said, in all seriousness, at a hotel where she was doing promotional work for her new self-tanner Sevin Nyne. [E!]
• This report claims that Lindsay doesn't use her self-tanner, Sevin Nyne, but one called Fake Bake. Scandal! [Gatecrasher]
• Oh goody, Michael Lohan is in a short film, because what the world needs now is for him to have an acting career. [The Star]
• Everyone loves to point out how Photoshopped Britney Spears is in her new Candie's ad, but "cuts the fat" is mean headline. [NY Daily News]
• Is Britney dating her agent? We've heard that one before. [The Sun]
• You know Britney's old friend Sam Lutfi? His sister Christina told the court that Britney is afraid of her own father and called Sam for help. [Mirror]
• Someone threw a car seat at Nadya Suleman's mini van and smashed the rear window. Not cool, people! [E!]
• In her new Moet & Chandon ads — you know she is the face of the champagne, right? — Scarlett Johansson looks like someone, and that someone is not Scarlett Johansson. [Socialite Life]
• Kate Moss kissed Jennifer Lopez at the Topshop party last night. [Daily Mail]
• Do you find it hard to believe that Mariah Carey is 40? Be honest. [Socialite Life]
• Project Runway is not dead! Long live Project Runway! It will now be shown on Lifetime — this summer!!! — and sponsors are Marie Claire and Tresemme. You cannot hold Tim Gunn down. [AdAge, WSJ]
• Jay-Z had to wait 20 minutes for a table at Mario Batali's restaurant but was "really polite, and waited patiently at the bar." [Page Six]
• Victoria Beckham was seen wearing heels again, so all is right with the world. [Daily Mail]
• The fact that Amber Tamblyn wore a fake mustache at a party to throw off the paparazzi may make you love her more. [Page Six]
• Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler have split. Again. He confronted her about having an affair with Gerard Butler while he was in the hospital and it all went downhill from there. Says a source. [Us Magazine]
• Did you know that Nicolas Cage owned a castle in Germany? Well he just sold it, so you'll never get to see him let his hair hang down from the turret window. [People]
• Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen is in a band, Pretty Reckless, which means she needs costumes, which means she is collaborating with New York designer Jen Kao. That's what you did when you were 15, right? [People]
• Lil Wayne is on the cover of the new Rolling Stone and explains why he now does music with guitar solos: "The rock shit just comes from what my life is now. I've grown into this person." Okay! [Rolling Stone]
• The year is not 1999, and yet the Backstreet Boys are in the studio. [Pop Dirt]
• Whitney Port is on the cover of Cosmo because we have officially run out of celebrities. [Just Jared]
• Tila Tequila wants to date David Lynch. [Jossip]
• "Geldof girls glam up to paint the town red in matching dresses... but it's back to grunge to REALLY party just hours later" [Daily Mail]
• A ski lodge owned by Bruce Willis in Idaho was destroyed in a fire. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Spacey will star and produce a film he helped write the script for, which seems to be about a billionaire inventor whose creation goes horribly wrong. [The Star]
• RIP The Guiding Light, the longest running daytime drama in the history of television. It's going to that big soap opera mansion in the sky. [MediaWeek]
• TV Guide channel is having an identity crisis: It's ditching the scrolling thing it does, and maybe even the name TV Guide channel. [AdAge]
• Uh-oh, the FBI has been called in over the leak of Wolverine. Somebody's in trouble! [BBC News]
• Blind item: "Which starlet turns a blind eye to her athlete boyfriend's philandering ways? Her dream is to get a diamond ring so she can finally leave the business." [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm sick of all the Hilton stuff, where all anyone cared about was whether I was doing coke in the bathroom or how many [bleeps] I was sleeping with. I'm done with partying and traveling. It's time to get this [bleep] started." — Barron Nicholas Hilton, brother of Paris, who wants to be "an international singer-songwriter." [Page Six]
• "The best cure for a hangover is something one straight man can't do for another straight man." — Ben Affleck, in Esquire. [Page Six]
• "One thing that bugs me is people who say, 'Miley really needs to lose some weight' or 'She got her boobs done.' I did start out really skinny, but you're not going to have boobs when you're 12 years old. I'm like, 'What are you talking about — let me grow.'" — Miley Cyrus. [Daily Mail]

• Today trial to extend a restraining order against Sam Lutfi, a lawyer testified that he was once hired to free Britney Spears from her father's conservatorship because it's like living "in prison." [Yahoo]

• Chelsea Clinton is engaged to boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky, according to The National Enquirer. They will marry this summer in a $1 million wedding. [Perez Hilton]
• The legal battle over Project Runway has come to an end! Weinstein Company has agreed to pay Bravo and NBC an undisclosed amount to move Project Runway to Lifetime. There's still no word on when season 6 may air. [Perez Hilton]
• The Simpsons will be featured on a new set of stamps. [Media Bistro]
• In the new Glamour, cover girl Miley Cyrus calls 20-year-old boyfriend Justin Gaston "the best thing that's happened in to me in a long, long time," and adds, "I don't feel like there's anything to hide. And I love [Justin] so much I don't really care." [Perez Hilton]
• The Obamas gave Queen Elizabeth an iPod loaded with show tunes and photos of her last visit to the U.S. She gave them a signed picture of herself and Prince Philip. [People]
• Scott Wolf has made it a party of three. His wife gave birth to their son Jackson Kayse Wolf last week. [Star]
• Someone smashed in the back window of Nadya Suleman's van. [TMZ]
• X-Men Origins: Wolverine has been leaked online a month before it's release. A representative from Fox says it's just a rough cut. [Variety]
• Hugh Jackman may be coming to your town! The Wolverine premiere will take place at whatever U.S. city gets the most votes in an online contest. [Just Jared]
• Here are some new promo shots for season 5 of The Hills. [Just Jared]
• You can listen to Heidi Montag's new song "Look How I'm Doin" at the link, but why would you want to? [Pop Sugar]
• Josh Duhamel filmed a public service announcement asking people to donate to the Red Cross to help victims of the recent flooding and severe weather conditions in his homestate of North Dakota and Minnesota. You can watch it here: [Entertainment Tonight]
• TMZ would like you to know that Kevin Federline is still fat, but "Rumors that K-Fed is pregnant are false." [TMZ]
• The radio audience of The Morning Invasion on Latino 96.3 freaked out this morning when a fake caller claiming to be Chris Brown's dad said Rihanna deserved the beating and was pregnant with Chris' child as an April Fool's joke. Dating violence: always hilarious! [TMZ]
• Former Sassy editor Christina Kelly is talking about her old interview with Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love in honor of the 15th anniversary of Kurt's death. She says: "The thing that really sticks out about that interview was how he was wearing these little black Keds, like the kind that girls wear, and they had a hole in them. Courtney was like, "He has the number one record and he only has one pair of shoes." And that just sort of sums him up. He seemed happy, but he seemed overwhelmed." [I Heart Daily]
• "Right now, my favorite thing to write about is love. And breakups. And boys. And feelings. Honesty is a big part of my writing, because when I was younger and fell in love with songs I'd hear, I would always wonder who that song was about. It would have totally broken my heart to know it wasn't about anyone and was just written so it could be on the radio." — Taylor Swift [Just Jared]
• In her new book Debbie Phelps says she cried her eyes out when her son, Michael Phelps, was arrested for a DUI in 2004. She writes: "Nothing like this had ever happened with him. It was unreal — like something out of a horror movie — with TV clips of jail cell doors slamming ominously shut, dooming the life and career of one golden boy turned loser." [Star]

Martha asked him about the importance of having a dog in the White House, and President Clinton admitted he was a "total wreck" when Chelsea went off to college, which is why Hillary got him a chocolate Lab. The former President quipped, "Harry Truman once said, 'If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.'" Clip at left.

[Washington, D.C.; January 13. Image via Getty]

US Secretary of State designate Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (R) smiles as she begins her confirmation hearing on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC, January 13, 2009. Clinton Tuesday promised a new era of 'smart' US military and diplomatic power under president-elect Barack Obama, saying American global leadership would no longer be found wanting. AFP PHOTO/Jim WATSON (Photo credit should read JIM WATSON/AFP/Getty Images)

New York, November 29. Image via Filmmagic.

In an open letter to the Obamas, D.C. mom of a public school attending child and writer Stephanie Mencimer pleads with Barack and Michelle to embrace the Washington school system:

One of the major problems with the city's schools is that they've been all but abandoned by middle-class parents who can use their political clout to hold schools to higher standards and to demand sufficient resources for them. Right now, DC schools are at a critical turning point. Some middle class families, particularly with very young kids, are starting to come back into the system, which holds great promise for the future of education in the city. But keeping those families—and convincing more to do so—is a major challenge. The arrival of the Obama girls in a DC public school would send a powerful message to other nervous yuppie parents: your kids will be ok here—come join us! Those parents can be a major force for good that, unlike tax cuts, does have a trickle down effect on lots of kids whose parents don't know how to write grant proposals or lobby Congress. And imagine the turnout for PTA meetings should Michelle join!

Mencimer does concede, however, that some of the schools in the D.C. system are so bad, "I myself have serious reservations about eventually sending my own kids there." The commenters on DCist are relatively tame about the issue, and most of them say the Obamas should do whatever they think is best for their children regardless of how it looks to the community. There are more wackadoos in the comments section of the Washington Post, some of whom are still talking about Bill Ayers and ACORN and generally frothing at the mouth.

Mencimer says she was vastly disappointed when Bill and Hillary Clinton decided to send Chelsea to the private Sidwell Friends. And after all, the D.C. public school system was good enough for Amy Carter…although she did turn out to be a protest starting radical hippie feminist.

Public School Still A Possibility For Obamas [Politico]
Public School For The Obama Girls, Please? [Mother Jones]
Where Will Sasha And Malia Go To School? [DCist]
Michelle Obama Visits Georgetown Day School [WaPo]

Entering the White House at the age of 12, Chelsea Victoria Clinton (Secret Service codename: Energy), was a bright, strong-minded little girl who just happened to be the daughter of the President. This, apparently, gave jerks across the country the notion that she was fair game for cruel jokes. Comedians, late-night hosts, and yes, even certain Senators from Arizona who just lost the election, took shots at Chelsea's awkward adolescent appearance, as if she were the only person on earth who didn't look like Christy Turlington at the age of 12. In keeping with his classy record, Rush Limbaugh referred to her as the "White House Dog."

Chelsea braved the criticism and began to take a more public role, accompanying her mother, Hillary, on various diplomatic trips during her time as a student at the private Sidwell Friends School, where she excelled in her studies. The fishbowl scrutiny only got worse for Chelsea when the Lewinsky scandal broke and details of her father's sordid affair were splashed upon the front pages of every paper in the world, and yet still, she maintained a sense of grace and composure and continued to concentrate on her education, going on to obtain a Bachelor's degree in history from Stanford and later a Master's degree in International Relations from Oxford University.

This is not to say that Chelsea did not suffer and struggle in private; but what we can say is this: Chelsea Clinton, through all of the painful mockery, all of the embarrassment, all of the scrutiny, grew up to be an accomplished woman with an impressive record. Yes, she had the best opportunities around, but she took them and took them as far as she could, working hard to escape the shadow of her parents and the shadow of the White House to become her own person.

One hopes that the Obama girls won't have to go through what Chelsea went through; and that this time around, we won't allow it to. No child should be mocked, regardless of what his or her parents do for a living. Luckily, Sasha and Malia's parents are already taking steps to ensure that their time in the White House will be a happy one: a new puppy is on the way, and the President and First Lady-Elect have already started looking for schools. ""I'm a mother first," Michelle Obama says, "And I'm going to be at parent-teacher conferences, and ... I'm going to be at the things that they want me to attend. I'm not going to miss a ballet recital."

So good luck, First Daughters. You have an interesting four years ahead. There will be ups and there will be downs, and we as a country will most likely see them all. But remember, there's always someone you can call for advice on living in the White House. Her codename is Energy, and she's a pretty amazing lady.

Obama's Girls About To Go Into The Fishbowl [CNN]
16 Candles For Chelsea [Washington Post]

Almond argues — as I have — that McCain's supposed sense of humor is indicative of a larger problem with women. Who finds rape jokes funny, let alone what Presidential candidate is so tone-deaf that he things putting off answering a question with "And I stopped beating my wife just a couple of weeks ago..." is smart, funny or in good taste? Almond asks, and rightly so, whether Barack Obama could in a million years crack a joke about a woman enjoying being raped by a gorilla without a mainstream media uproar, as opposed to the shoulder-shrug that McCain got. And the answer, we all have to concede, is no — and not just because of his age.

But Almond's got other evidence, garnered from that scathing Rolling Stone profile of a few weeks ago, which detailed how a younger McCain cursed out two women that didn't appreciate being hollered, his profligate adultery, and how he lived with his wife for months before taking out a marriage license to marry Cindy — which, naturally, occurred before McCain divorced his first wife. There is, of course, the obligatory mention of when McCain called his wife a "cunt" in front of reporters and the joke about a teenaged Chelsea Clinton being ugly (daughter Meghan would have been just reaching puberty herself at the time). All in all, it's not an unknown record, but it's not a pretty one.

Steve goes a step further, though, and asks us to view the Palin nomination in context of McCain's many infidelities, misogynist jokes and ugly temper. He'd like us to have another look at the interview with Katie Couric where John McCain interrupts Sarah Palin and Katie Couric and talks over them about Pakistan and "gotcha" journalism, as well as the way he and his staff have attempted to shield Governor Palin from the press and keep her from answering tough questions and then ask ourselves: does John McCain respect Sarah Palin? Does he respect women voters (let alone male voters) with this choice? Would he have picked her if she looked like the much-maligned Janet Reno? I think those are all legitimate questions, and I'd add one more. When you're hugging a work colleague — if you tend to hug work colleagues — how many times do they wrap their arms fully around you if you're just grabbing their shoulders before you start to get freaked out?

McNasty? [Nerve]

Related: What John McCain's Jokes Say About His View Of Women [Glamocracy]
Make-Believe Maverick [Rolling Stone]

Speaking of YouTube, Meghan has been able to utilize new media, something her old-as-dirt daddy has pretty much avoided. Slate's Malone notes that after a gaffe on the Today Show, (Meghan said "No one knows what war is like other than my family. Period.") Meghan went straight to her blog to qualify her words.

Meghan has obviously hit a nerve with more than a few women, and Malone parses Meghan's appeal quite accurately. Where I disagree with Malone is in her description of the "mini-generation gap" between 28-year-old Chelsea Clinton and 23-year-old Meghan. "At Stanford, Chelsea was largely able to escape from the press. Most of Meghan's time at Columbia took place in the Facebook era, when politician's children's pages were suddenly fair game. Seriousness was rewarded for Chelsea and her cohort," Malone writes. "But it's been attention-grabbing that has thus far been rewarded for younger women like Meghan—and me—who've grown up in a post-YouTube, post-Britney era. We've been shown that it pays to behave like permanent teenagers, and Meghan has slickly figured out a way to get the most out of this."

Indeed, by talking to the press, Meghan has received far more attention than the notoriously guarded Chelsea. But I'd argue that the difference between Meghan and Chelsea is more personality based, and less micro generational. In addition, the sort of "attention grabbing" that is allegedly being rewarded for Britney and her discontents has almost entirely negative results. Yes, Britney made a lot of money and was splashed over many headlines, but she also went batshit insane. And yes, Meghan McCain's oversharing gets her attention and a certain amount of stars-are-just-like-us acknowledgment, but is that really going to translate into votes for her dad? I know many non-Democrat women, definitely of my mother's age, but also of my own age, who were appalled at the way Bristol Palin has been thrust into the campaign spotlight, and I'd imagine they'd be similarly appalled by the awkward lunches between Meghan McCain and Hills doyenne Heidi Montag. But maybe I'm wrong, and Meghan's "haute-trashy" look, saccharine blogette and downplayed Columbia degree are exactly what will get her father votes. If that's the case we might as well pack it in and revive our livejournals.

Blogette Girl [Slate]
McCain Blogette [Meghan McCain]

Earlier: Meghan McCain Will Not Date Journalists
New Yorker Profile Shows Cindy McCain Is A Nouveau Betty Draper

Former Virginia Governor (and current Senate candidate) Mark Warner was Hillary Clinton's lead-in tonight — how cool is it that a man was basically her warm-up act, by the way? Anyway, he's finished speaking, and we're waiting for Chelsea to start her introduction of her mother — this will be the largest crowd she's ever addressed, actually, and I'm pretty sure she'll kick Claire McCaskill's son's ass — and for the the evening's big event, which is really Clinton's speech (sorry Marky Mark, I'm sure you'll win in Virginia anyway). Will she rip McCain a new one? Convince the final P.U.M.A. holdouts to support Barack Obama? It all starts after the jump.

11:09 (ET): Oh, well, it helps when you keep 'em standing for a prayer. I'm out, people, I'll see you for Crappy Hour in the morning!

11:06 (ET): "Let's elect Barack Obama and Joe Biden for the future that our country deserves." Right on. That there is bringing the house down. Man, people ain't sitting down for a good long while.

11:05 (ET): "If you want a taste of freedom, keep going." Not gonna lie, I got chills there.

11:04 (ET): Just getting to the anniversary of the 19th Amendment.

11:02 (ET): Blasts John McCain on equal-pay-for-equal work and the crowd booed the loudest yet! And another good joke! "It makes sense that John McCain will be with President Bush in the Twin Cities because they're awfully hard to tell apart." Damn, seriously, her jokes were way flat in the primaries. I need to meet her new writer, for real.

11:01 (ET): "We don't need four more years of the last eight years." Ooh, hear the crowd boo John McCain!

11:00 (ET): Shout out to Michelle Obama! Man, I want them to hang out and be kickass together right now.

10:59 (ET): "I cannot wait to see Barack Obama sign into law a health care plan that covers every single American."

10:58 (ET): She sounds utterly convincing when she's like, Barack Obama kicks ass. This is a rabble-rousing kind of speech. Man, if she could've brought this in

10:56 ET: She calls out the P.U.M.A.s for being narcissistic assholes. "Were you just in it for me?" So glad she went there.

10:55 (ET): Another shout-out of the GI Bill McCain didn't support. Man, they are gonna fuck him up on that issue. Wish they'd started while it was going on.

10:53 (ET): She mentions all the shit Bush has fucked up. This might take a while.

10:51 (ET): Shout-out to Bill Gwatney and Stephanie Tubbs Jones. Right on. But where's the standing o?

10:50 (ET): "To my sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits." Man, why didn't she have these speech writers in the primaries?

10:50 (ET): I hate these "real people" stories.

10:48 (ET): "You made me laugh and, yes, you made me cry." She even said it with a smile. Way to fucking own it.

10:47 (ET): "No way. No how. No McCain."

10:46 (ET): Listing her accomplishments. She didn't work all these years for all that shit to watch another Republican fuck it up.

10:45 (ET): "A single purpose." Yeah, suck it Pat Buchanan and your psychoanalysis of what's in her heart.

10:44 (ET): Applause finally dies down. Holla New York! Standing ovation for her being a proud supporter of Barack Obama.

10:41 (ET): Um, disappointing introduction. What a let down. I can't say that I love the orange pantsuit, but, the way it drapes, it looks like raw silk and I love raw silk. Actually, it doesn't look terrible with her coloring, but could we have gone with peach? Or terra cotta? Actually, from behind, it looks like less of a saturated orange. The applause is so loud, this is why I'm contemplating.

10:39 (ET): "18 million cracks." Drink!

10:38 (ET): Actually, I really like Chelsea's narration. A little practice with inflection and she could be really great.

10:37 (ET): "American Girl"? Anyone ever listened to those lyrics? It's about someone who sleeps around and hates herself a lot.

10:35 (ET): Video starts! The Van Halen version of "You Got Me" as a soundtrack? Fail. And Lenny Kravitz "Are You Gonna Go My Way"? Wow, bad choices.

[Madrid, July 29. Image via INFDaily]

She's got a boring hedge fund job, she worked at McKinsey before that, she keeps herself discreet and reserved, she represses all outward signs of personality, she speaks in a very soft voice. Her hair is always well-highlighted and groomed. The best CD she owns is probably by Radiohead. We all know the type. There's nothing wrong with it. It's just not what we're looking for right now.

Too Solemn For Her Generation?
Hillary and Chlesea Clinton: The Teenage Years [Reuters]

MOE: Thomas Frank: What exactly is he doing on the WSJ op-ed page? Does Rupert Murdoch have a soft spot for his eviscerations of late capitalism or is he friends with Peggy Noonan? Anyway, I want to have his babies etc. A long time ago I was dating a dude who not only remembered Valentine's Day, he bought me Commodify Your Dissent as a present. He is now married. (Let it be a lesson!) Anyway as presents go it was nice to see Thomas Frank in the papers and Bob Novak glowering in the corner.
MEGAN: Really, really working, If I'm ignoring you, it's because you're not talking about work and thus I am ignoring you.
MOE: Why is Novak always number one on the "Most Viewed List"?
MEGAN: I think Bob Novak lacks the ability to do anything but glower.
MOE: No dude he rules the most emailed list!
MEGAN: I think he hires those Chinese services that will click over and over to drive up your page views. They're really cheap, apparently.
MOE: Hey can you explain to me what Jimmy Carter is doing with Hamas?
MOE: I mean, I guess he is trying to broker some sort of piece but I haven't been able to click any of the links, mostly because of laziness.
MEGAN: Trying to maintain a sense of political relevancy? Fucking with Bush? Helping McCain win the election? Umm, overestimating his own diplomatic prowess?
MOE: Rick Santorum is on Fox News incidentally.
MOE: Warning America that Barack Obama is not a uniter.
MEGAN: Charlie Wilson was on MSNBC.
MEGAN: Like, the real guy, not Tom Hanks. But Rick Santorum is smarmy.
MOE: WHOA holy shit.
MEGAN: Also, I guarantee he's got dentures. And I would not hit that.
MOE: I just scrolled down on the Thomas Frank thing.

He will begin a weekly column each Wednesday in the Journal on May 14.

MEGAN: Wait, so, like, he'll have a weekly column starting in a month? I don't understand newspapers really.
MEGAN: Also, it is apparently a Tom Petty morning on MSBNC.
MOE: Yeah I guess but Thomas Frank? In the Wall Street Journal? Fuck...
MEGAN: Well, it makes more since then Bill "The Joker" Kristol in the motherfucking New York Times/
MOE: Ooooh, quick quiz! How many times since he won the nomination has John McCain been photographed wearing a flag pin on his lapel?

MOE: No takers?
MEGAN: But he doesn't have to because he's a war hero! And he's not a Muslim! And his middle name isn't Hussein! And he's not a Democrat, which means he is, by his very political affiliation, a patriot (if not a nationalist). Being a Republican is like having the American flag tattooed on your soul which is singing along to Proud to Be An American while your heart beats a military tattoo.
MOE: And being Barack Obama is a kitchen sink full of Yellow Peril!

MEGAN: Ooh! Ooh! Did you see? One of her foreign policy advisors, Richard Baum (who I'm gonna guess your dad intellectually opposes) resigned from Clinton's campaign because of her China-bashing?
MOE: Do you understand the subtle subliminal message Obama was trying to summon when he used that esoteric kitchen sink metapor? Because I think all the elitism made it fly over my head
MOE: Yeah Dad? I dare you to economically oppose this:

"Our reasoning was that while China certainly bears a share of responsibility for these (and other) problems, much (if not most) of the blame, at least on the economic issues, lies elsewhere," Baum wrote in an e-mail. He attributed the problems, at least in part, to America's high level of consumption, deficit spending and selective trade protectionism.

On the question of human rights, Baum said he and others in the advisory group believe the Chinese leaders respond better to persistent advice than "self-righteous finger-pointing aimed at publicly shaming and humiliating them."

MOE: So wait, the Pope...the spin seems to be that he's made all those pedophiles the centerpiece of a PR coup! But is it "just words" so to speak?

Anne Barrett Doyle, a founder of BishopAccountability.org, an online archive of the scandal, said that by condemning only pedophiles and not those who kept them in ministry, "it was a signal to us he will take no action. He came here to achieve a public-relations triumph and he did it."

MEGAN: Actually, that's what totally struck me about everything he said about the pervs. Unless I missed it, and I'll admit that I sort of stopped paying that much attention at some point, I didn't hear him say anything about the pedo-enablers, which were as much a part of the problem as everything. The fact that the Catholics has pervs among their ranks? Forgivable, presumably. The fact that Church leaders decided to fight the slow decline of men entering the priesthood (with the exception of my grad school friend Marcos, which, congrats!) by keeping pervs in the priesthood and moving them around every time they get caught molesting yet another young kid is the problem that strikes at the heart of the Church's relationship with the faithful, IMHO.
MEGAN: It's just another example of the kind of hypocritical, bad-stuff-enabling blind, overly-hierarchical patriarchy that drove me from the Church in the first place.
MOE: Why am I seeing so few quotes from the pope himself? What does he sound like? What did he say actually? Am I the only one who did not know Frank Bruni is a foremost chronicler of the abuse scandal?

MEGAN: I did not know that about Frank Bruni. I mean, I didn't hear a ton of him talking (I skipped listening to the Mass, obviously) but he has a very, very soft voice. Kind of high-pitched. German-mixed-with-Italian accent. Not a great public speaking voice, but perhaps he's more forceful-sounding in German or Italian.
MEGAN: And on the abuse, he said something along the lines of "it was really bad" and then he prayed with the survivors that stayed Catholic and met with him!
MOE: Why is it news that Obama thinks McCain would be better than Bush? Isn't that sort of like saying McCain knows more about foreign policy than Spencer Pratt?

MEGAN: Because, apparently, you can't acknowledge that some people in the other party are better than others or something.
MOE: Ugh did you read anything in the Times magazine? I just remembered it was the green issue. I am pretty sure green issues would do better if they made them some more synthetic color like neon orange. But anyway, the nation's railways are apparently expanding for the first time in ever. No way, right?! But it turns out their fuel efficiency for freight is 3x better than that of an 18-wheeler.
MEGAN: That's what the CSX commercial tells me, anyway.
MOE: Oh my god and file this under CNN reporters you could actually totally see walking through Central Park in a crystal meth haze.
MEGAN: I am sooooo sad about Richard Quest. Meth is bad, people, bad! Its use is correlated in the LGBT community with a rise in the incidences of STIs including HIV.
MEGAN: Also, it's nasty on the teeth. Oh, Richard. Please don't! Who else will I get my breathless Royals coverage from?
MOE: Well aren't we just all PSA today. Yeah, an increase in dumb behavior results in an increase in things that you get from engaging in dumb behavior. And yeah, if your teeth weren't British before...speaking of I have a case of Adderall mouth I should attend to.

MOE: Tomorrow's the primary. I think I'm voting in it. There's supposedly all sorts of horrible negative ads. Have you seen any of them?
MEGAN: You should totally vote in it. Are you going to Philly for it? Did you know I'm there covering it for Glamocracy?
MOE: Peggy Noonan thinks Hillary is finished and her campaign is officially in the red. Peggy loved a speech she gave but thinks she needs four more years to overcome the whole pants thign.

She'll need more than four years to shake off the impression she made in 2008. And this is how you'll know she's making another bid for the presidency. She will wear skirts. Gone will be the pantsuits that made her look like a small blond man with breasts. It's the new me, I wear skirts! Her first impulse is to think cosmetically. A long and weary life in politics has left her thinking this is the way to think.

MEGAN: I try not to watch political ads because I kill enough brain cells with drinking.
MOE: The Bush twins are apparently going to be at the 92nd St. Y tomorrow night, so I might come back up.
MEGAN: She looks like a small blonde man with breasts? Peggy, please.
MOE: I dunno

MOE: I kind of love how carried away she gets:

The other is elitism, a charge that clearly grates on him and unnerves his wife, who has a great deal that would be attractive in a first lady (intelligence, accomplishment, beauty) but lacks placidity, which is, actually, necessary. All first ladies, first spouses, should be like Denis Thatcher, slightly dazed, mildly inscrutable, utterly supportive. It is the only job in the world where "seems slightly drugged" is a positive job qualification.

MEGAN: Well, if you came down tonight, we could Crap on Philly tomorrow morning and you could be back in time for the Bush twins.
MOE: Hahaha you want to come to my polling place?
MEGAN: Wow, so Nooner's a Laura Bush fan? I prefer my political wives be actual humans.
MEGAN: That would be hilarious! Where's your polling place? I could take pictures of Democracy In Action!
MOE: It's at 12th and Federal, a South Philadelphia social club with a name that translates to "Home of the Crazy" I think...um...and speaking of, is all they're talking about on the non-Fox News the Weather Underground?
MEGAN: Sixties radicals play big with the still-think-we-coulda-won-Vietnam Fox News viewership. Pat Buchanan is yelling on MSNBC.
MOE: About the weather?
MOE: Michael Moore just endorsed.

I haven't spoken publicly 'til now as to who I would vote for, primarily for two reasons: 1) Who cares?; and 2) I (and most people I know) don't give a rat's ass whose name is on the ballot in November, as long as there's a picture of JFK and FDR riding a donkey at the top of the ballot, and the word "Democratic" next to the candidate's name.
Seriously, I know so many people who don't care if the name under the Big "D" is Dancer, Prancer, Clinton or Blitzen. It can be Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Barry Obama or the Dalai Lama.

The thing is, by all reports and video I've seen, Chelsea's actually kicking ass and connecting on a personal level with voters in a way that her mother and many other more senior surrogates aren't. She's 28, she's smart as hell and she possesses the ability to speak off-the-cuff (and well) on a variety of wonky policy issues — and she very, very pretty, which doesn't hurt. What she doesn't have is the ability to see that she probably ought to stop shunning reporters, because if she does stop, they'll give her more flattering coverage. Just like they already do the McCain ladies.

Cindy McCain's Life Away From The Campaign [LA Times]
Campaign Trail Gets Bumpy For Chelsea Clinton [LA Times]
Top Clinton Hand Shields Chelsea [Politico]

MEGAN: MSNBC has reliably informed me that we're in a recession, just not a technical recession.

MOE: Yeah the economy just doesn't isn't in the mood. I think it's cool though.
MOE: I was kind of sad that like 5 people seemed to get that parallel, which was really funny to me in my head., but marin79 made it all better.

MEGAN: But I wanted to sell my place! Or at least refinance my mortgage or something. But, hahaha, I'm a freelancer now so the banks don't care.
MEGAN: I got it! It was awesome.
MEGAN: So, have you shot your economics wad for the week then? We could talk about Cindy McCain instead and how, at this point, pretty much all the potential first spouses are better liked than the actual candidates. She seems, um, really cool.

MOE: Wow, thanks, I had not read that. And I didn't blow my wad. I'll read that while you read this, on how Merrill reacted when, in 2005, AIG stopped insuring the mortgage-backed securities they'd repackaged as collateralized debt obligations: they dove headfirst into the business of "insuring" those things themselves! All the executives who thought it was a bad idea were canned or demoted.

To oversee the job of taking CDOs onto Merrill's own books, the firm tapped Ranodeb Roy, a senior trader but one without much experience in mortgage securities. CDO holdings on Merrill's books were soon piling up at a rate of $5 billion to $6 billion per quarter. This led to an inside joke at Merrill. Mr. Roy is known as Ronnie. Some employees took to saying that if they couldn't find a specialized bond insurer, known as a "monoline," to take Merrill's risk on the deal, they could resort to a "Ronoline."

MOE: Hey, wow, that's a pretty interesting profile of Cindy. I like that she regrets the dig at Michelle. I like that she doesn't talk about her son in Iraq only because she fears crying in public. But the thing I like most about her is this:

"It's not about being a cowboy," she said during a series of interviews over the course of her four-day trip to Kosovo. "It's just these types of things don't necessarily happen in Phoenix, Ariz., and you have to go where it is."

Shawn Erfman lives in a trailer park, listens to Rush Limbaugh and voted for George W. Bush — twice. Over the weekend, he heard all about what Barack Obama had to say about "bitter" Pennsylvanians like himself. And he's mad as hell.

Not at the guy you might expect, though. "It's fucking true," he said Monday night. "Everybody's bitter for one reason or another. So they're crucifying him because he spoke the truth? Cause he's not saying something that's going to suck up to people and kiss ass? Because, what, he slipped and accidentally spoke the truth, instead of kissing butt?"

Sciandra said he understood what Obama meant, and wasn't offended by the idea that he "clings" to guns. "I hunt, I fish, I love the outdoors," he said. "Me, I tell you, I'm not worried about anybody taking my guns ... I think it just came out the wrong way." As for Erfman, he's more worried about healthcare than his job. His 60-year-old mother-in-law, Iona White, just moved in with his family so she could get onto their health insurance. A lifelong Democrat, White says she'll vote for Obama next week. "It's a bad time in the world," she said. "People are bitter."

MEGAN: I mean, I was having this conversation with Michael Calderone the other day. I grew up in a small town where the major employer is gone. There is a lot of bitterness, people do like their hunting and their religions and I'll be damned if some of them weren't racist... And that's why I left.
MOE: Oh, my brother complained to me about Obama's meh economic policy and I thought one up on the fly.

I wish he would install Huckabee's tax plan. And then give forensic accounting jobs to all the out of work IRS people trailing financial corruption and enforcing net worth caps. No household should have more than $50
million, period. You want to be a billionaire you can give your money to a massive education and cancer fund. Donations to the church of scientology (or actually, anything having to do with religion and that includes you israel) not allowed. move to switzerland or thecaymans if you want to avoid us but don't expect to get through customs without some hardcore guiltripping.

MEGAN: And anal cavity searches.
MEGAN: Also, Huckabee's economic plan sucks and was designed to pander to a very small slice of the conservative electorate. There's something to be said for progressive taxation.
MEGAN: The reason really, really wealthy people donate money to causes like the "fair" tax and the "flat" tax is that they'll pay a lot less money that way. Also, because it would exempt capital gains from taxation. And the fair tax, if I recall, is basically like a national sales tax, so it's incredibly regressive but [waves shiny things] look over there and we'll totally refund that to poor people at the end of the year and whatever. Plus all fair tax advocates like to stand really, really close to you and don't have great breath.
MOE: It may have been designed to pander to those types, but it appealed to me as well, they just need to punish people for accumulating pointless weath a whole lot more. The thing that gives me hope is all the guys like Shawn Erfman, actually. The thing about this country is that a whole lot of unskilled working-class lower class whatever types are not actually dumb. Precisely because they are bitter! They have been forced by underemployment to sift through that which is their own fault, that which is the government's, that which is the fault of the mindless pandering to public sensibilities that get unnecessarily ruffled over the use of non-euphemisms such as "bitter." I feel like, people in cities have this sense that people out there all like people from Borat or something, and like, well, naw.
MOE: Oooooh the debate is tonight.
MEGAN: Yes, sadly.

MEGAN: Obama hasn't RSVP'd for the one in NC that was originally scheduled for the 19th with Katie Couric but is now rescheduled for the 27th and I'm praying desperately that he won't.
MOE: Hey did you read this story about Juarez? The drug war: still a mess! I'm ashamed to say that the headline "Wild West Blood Bath" and the touting of 210 deaths got me hooked. But it was only 210 in the last three months which is conveniently 70 a month which is just over two a day which is just like Philadelphia, and the crime networks seem just as confusing. (But somehow more Soderberghian.)

MEGAN: Is it sad that part of me was like, well, maybe if crime gets organized there then whatever dude or group of dudes has been raping and murdering women will get killed/run out of town? Because God knows the cops ain't been that successful at it.
MOE: Oh look it's John Paulson back in the news. John Paulson is the hedge fund manager who got the idea to figure out how to buy credit default swaps or something. His strategy got totally ripped off by his smarmy friend Jeff, but he still made out with $3.7 billion last year.
MEGAN: Wait, that dude's got a smarmier friend?
MEGAN: Never mind, I scrolled down. I'd call that creepy more than smarmy.
MOE:

Even on Wall Street, where money is the ultimate measure of success, the size of the winnings makes some uneasy. "There is nothing wrong with it — it's not illegal," said William H. Gross, the chief investment officer of the bond fund Pimco. "But it's ugly."

MEGAN: I think enforcement would be too much of a problem, personally. I mean, law enforcement sucks now. We have a huge tax gap already, which is a hugely euphemistic way of saying "tons of people cheat on their taxes" and between the IRS and Congress no one can figure out what the fuck to do about it that doesn't cost more than the money we're losing to cheaters... so they don't do anything, and then the rest of us just end up paying more in taxes than we should have to in order to subsidize the cheaters.
MEGAN: Like Wesley Snipes.

MEGAN: Sorry to wonk out there. Um, maybe we can discuss the obvious unrequited love that Hillary spokesperson Phillipe Reines has for Chelsea, as pictured here? His face totally says "She doesn't hug me like that now, but she'll notice me someday" and the whole article is about how overprotective he is of her and how he hates reporters and stuff. Sweetie, she's just not that into you. Unrequited love sucks, find someone who likes you for you and forget about her.

MOE: Wait, wait! I thought we were talking about something boring and dry that for whatever reason stokes my inner Marxist leninist spirit! A long time ago I read about some sort of tax on all flows of money. A proposal that would just slow the liquidity down ever so slightly. I'm not sure if it's possible or would be effective. But like, in the cases of the hedge fund investment bank plutocracy where most of the time the compensation is a matter of public record, we should be able to go after the cheats, no? Ugh, I hate this business. Here's something interesting.

MOE:

With a combined $2 trillion under management, the hedge fund industry is coming off its richest year ever — a feat all the more remarkable given the billions of dollars of losses suffered by major Wall Street banks.

MEGAN: Yeah, I tried reading the Merrill article but my eyes crossed somewhere around the point where their insurance company bailed and they decided to buy more stuff their insurance company said was too risky and then the company paid them more because they took their piggie-securitized-mortgages and put a tiara/high rating on it.
MEGAN: I think that a lot of hedge funds would just go offshore, but, yes, a tax on capital flows would probably reduce the flows but also drive them offshore and rich people would just be rich somewhere else. Actually, I mean, I'd be fine with going and being rich somewhere else right now. Or just rich. Or just somewhere else.

• "I heard Obama speak. He hit me with that he-just-got-done- watching-'Malcolm X,' and I swear to God, I'm like, 'Yo, Obama!' 'I'm Obama to the end now, baby!," says 50 Cent, who originally supported Hillary Clinton. He has since "lost interest." [MTV]
  
• One of the girls who tormented Megan Meier under the tutelage of evil mom Lori Drew is going to be on TV tomorow talking about how Lori turned out to be a crappy "mother figure." Um, yeah. [ABC]
  
• You know how after 9/11 the government consolidated all these government functions into the Department of Homeland Security, which was probably an expensive waste of time? Well they are sort of doing that with all the regulatory agencies that are supposed to keep track of how much money all of these sophisticated "security" things are worth so the economy doesn't find itself with a hole the size of the Russian economy in it. It will take a long time, and probably not work. [WSJ]
  
• Obama has his widest gap in the Gallup tracking poll of Democrats of any candidate since February. February! That is almost the month before last! [Wonkette]

• Oh, look who favors socialized medicine! The folks who provide it. Funny, that! Think they all got brainwashed by the happy British doctor in Sicko? [Reuters]
• Chelsea Clinton quotes Salt N Pepa. [Wonkette]
• Do Pennsyvlanians distrust women or black folks more? [AP]
• Paris Hilton is a "role model for young girls everywhere," according to Paris Hilton. [Redlasso]
• Finally, a pundit with the guts to take Hillary to task for this Bosnia thing. What would we do without you, Hitchens? [Slate]
• Did you hear about this whole "Earth Hour" thing? Yeah, don't worry, nobody did. [Time]