Jezebel 
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New York, 4:14 PM
Sun Nov 29
21 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/16/09
11/16/09
11/16/09
Investigators called this a brilliant piece of misdirection, stating, "Why would the blogger refer to herself as a 'fugly slut' "? #infidelity
12/15/08
12/15/08
12/15/08
Given that my father has cheated on every woman he's ever been with, I have some MAJOR issues being the other woman, even if only for one night. I feel terrible.
12/15/08
12/15/08
And, yes, I know it - I'm very, very glad we broke up when we did (only about three months in); I could tell he was messed up (completely unable to communicate in an honest way with, well, most people), and was kind of hoping for a fuckbuddy this time around. Not so much, now.
12/15/08
Until you've been there, don't tell me what someone married ten years with three children, married twenty years with no children, employed or not, healthy or not, should do.
When I was getting married, I would have sworn on my life that I would divorce a cheating spouse and never look back. Now, I have a lot of friends in a lot of different situations and I don't know what I would do. I am just thankful not to be in that position.
12/15/08
got it. thanks for playing, you can toss your laptop out of the window now.
12/15/08
I'm of the "I'd leave" school of thought, but that doesn't mean I can't understand why other people would stay or condem them for staying. What I'm really bothered by is the idea that you get to decide for someone else whether or not they should stay and hide the fact that you've cheated.
12/15/08
12/15/08
the best advice i ever heard for people in your situation is to make yourself unavailable. in other words, stop chasing him. tell him to get out of the house, or get yourself someplace new. tell him you need to think about what you want now for yourself, and that's it. don't call him, don't "drop by." if he starts missing you and is sincere about wanting to get back together, you need to see evidence of that. and if he doesn't want to get back together, then divorce him.
cause if he gets the vibe from you that you'll just overlook it completely and try to work things out, you're showing him that you'll put up with this kind of shit. and it'll happen again. especially if he's acting like an asshole now.
12/15/08
12/15/08
Cheating not only affects your partner, but innocent bystanders too. I have been saddled with a lifetime of trust of issues, and I would NEVER take back someone who cheated on me.
12/15/08
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12/15/08
the second time was just about a year later, with somebody new. this time he had issues with the fact i'd just lost my low-paying job that provided no unemployment benefits and so now we were financially fucked. i had noplace to go, because if i had money then, i would've dropped his ass in a heartbeat.
by the time i'd found a new job and accumulated cash, we'd been able to reconcile again. but in the back of my mind, always, despite whatever he says, i'm always wondering if there will be a "next time." i don't think that mistrust in a relationship is beneficial.
the difference though is now i do have money. and there will be no third chance.
12/15/08
msanthrope, the universe will support you with any decision you choose to make. don't let peen and money determine your level of success and happiness.
12/15/08
12/15/08
Is it always a deal-breaker? No. Sometimes the reality of an affair can lead the marriage back down a different road, a better road than the one they were on. Other times, it's the thing that finally sends the car careening off the cliff.
I think I would feel a bit better if they used a condom, though. I mean, if you cheated, that's bad. If you cheated and possibly got her pregnant/exposed me to some disease, eat shit and die, motherfucker.
12/15/08
Pretty fucking much!
12/15/08
what then?
12/15/08
12/15/08
The reason cheating sucks is because it's a betrayal, not because of the sex. At least, that's my opinion.
12/15/08
I don't think I would be able to make the same choice, but I actually have an aunt with a similar experience, and I understand where they are coming from.
So no judging from me at least. I just hope they are able to work things out in a manner in which both are happy.
12/15/08
Maybe they didn't so much ignore as not feel that way. For some people there are some absolutes.
12/15/08
agree.
12/15/08
12/15/08
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12/15/08