If it were on VH1, I would probably watch Race to Bisexual Stripper Prison University. And I love Sarah Haskins, but I'm kind of sad she couldn't find someone actually quilting for her original premise.
@cycles: I'm under the impression that since nothing about that was right (afghan for quilt, crochet hooks for knitting needles) that they were just being as ridiculously wrong as possible.
I'm pretty sure those women on Charm School weren't thinking, 'What are we doing in the hospital at night when we could be doing this during the day?' In fact, I'm pretty confident in saying they weren't thinking anything. I think it just goes in order of:
I would really actually like the idea of a camp or retreat or workshop or whatever that actually teaches young girls the following:
1. -To speak clearly and confidently. I know so, so very many young women--both among my peer group and those who are younger--who cringe when they speak. I know young women I always have to ask to repeat themselves because they talk in such tiny little voices, like they're afraid someone will want to stop them from speaking up. And then there's the ever-present "oh, I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry" and "sorry!", where girls and young women feel compelled to apologize for shit that THEY DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR.
I think clear written communications would fall under the scope of this too. Make sure you have a point to be made, and then make it. Use correct spelling and grammar and punctuation. Be clear, concise, and mindful of your audience. A text message to your best friend, for instance, could be one long cuss in lolcat; a thank-you letter to your grandmother should probably be written with more clarity and poise (unless your grandmother loves lolcat.)
2. Common-sense things for home and office. No, I'm not talking about Suzy Homemaker 101--just regular stuff that makes life easier, more comfortable, or more affordable. You should know how to sew a button on. You should know how to, I dunno, at least boil pasta. Even if you don't have an official set-in-stone budget, you should have some general sense of your personal finances. You should be able to store food properly, clean/treat a minor cut or burn, sweep/mop/ otherwise clean a floor, and take care of a good pair of shoes. These are just examples. They're not 50's-housewife things, nor are they exclusive to women. Everyone should know how to do this stuff.
3. General respect for other people, their belongings, their personal space, comfort, and safety. No, this doesn't mean you have to be smarmy and learn how to curtsey and arrange 18 pieces of silverware. This should just mean that you have a general idea how to behave as a guest, how to behave as a host, how to greet people, how to behave in a board meeting, how to remain polite and appear calm in various tense situations, how to thank others for kind deeds and politely decline events/items that don't work for you, etc.
No, it's not rocket science, and no, you don't have to be nice to everybody all the time. There's a time and a place for being extra-assertive. It's just that if you know how to say please and thank you, and if you know how to consider the comfort and sanity of those around you, life tends to be more smooth and pleasant.
Knowing how to be confident, competent, and considerate is not a skill that's specifically taught in school--most people sort of have to half-ass it as they go along. It goes way beyond dessert forks and makeup tricks.
I could use a good how-to-clean class. I actually ended up buying a book last year on how to clean everything because apparently it's not something this lady was genetically blessed with. much to my mother's chagrin. ahem.
Don't understand why confidence, social skills and table manners are a female thing. Just came from a month in Europe on business and know that the revolting eating habits of 2 American guy coworkers stopped us from getting meal invitations -- and made everyone want to gag.
@SophieP: I don't either. My parents didn't go for that whole notion that one of us (I have a 27 y/o brother who's really 60 at heart) would be well-behaved and presentable and the other would "just be a boy."
To their surprise, I turned out to be the tomboy. Still didn't fly.
Although my mother tried to send my young tomboy self to "charm school" and then an all-girl's Catholic school (neither of which I attended after major protest by me and my father), she did say something that I believe to be true to this day:
If you want your children to learn how to behave in public, set a good example for them to follow and quietly nudge them in the right direction when you see they might need it.
My brother and I always knew "a child's place" (if you see a bunch of adults gathered, keep quiet or go play, preferably the latter) but as we got older it was much easier for us to be integrated into formal events, etc. because our parents showed us how to act.
When I was a debutante (in Ohio people, so really not that classy) we had lessons on ettiquete, conversation skills, and posture. We did not have direct lessons on makeup or clothing, but it was made clear that bright blue eyelids will encourage people to not respect you, and that belly shirts don't do much to inspire people's confidence in you.
I think EVERYONE should have something that teaches them lessons of politeness, proper posture, how to dress for business/business casual settings, how to be a good host/hostess, how to cook and decorate, how to pay a compliment, how to make small talk, and how to introduce people... I just don't know how or where we have it.
I will say, the best lessons I recieved in conversation, respectful disagreement, and confidence came from my sorority in college, the first place I encountered a true no woman-on-woman hate vibe. Some of the girls lapsed, of course, but having ideals and expectations that you will get along with others and be polite to people you don't like and always try to see where the other side is coming from was nice. It also taught me how to drink responsibily, which is something I think we DEFINATELY need here, especially since so many interviews, networking events, and business deals are done over drinks. I'm just sad that it took until college for me to have a comprehensive program teaching me "social graces" and until highschool to have any formal program beyond parental instruction.
@inabook: In my dorm at college, we'd have monthly dinners where someone would talk about their senior thesis and there was free wine and food. This way, we subtly learned how to drink at such events (i.e., not too much).
I like the idea behind the "make-over camp." Manners, poise, public speaking, etc. are all important things to learn. It helps you blend in if you're of lower socioeconomic status and you happen to be a guest to, well, someone who is obviously not poor. It makes a good first impression. By manners I probably mean etiquette, you know: how to eat, how to walk, which utensils to use, what not to do, etc.
@Evie Havok: If someone is of a lower socioeconomic status, I'm not sure they'd be able to send their kids to camp, yeah?
Unless the camp has scholarships! Then girls of all socioeconomic classes can learn things that you're just supposed have beaten into you by parents/grandparents.
@greengrey (raidersofthelostSTAR): I was probably focusing more on teenagers and young adults entering the business world (who come from all socioeconomic backgrounds). They usually have programs were they make you learn the etiquette. It's usually free or low cost.
This probably won't earn me any feminist points, but I don't see what's inherently bad about the camp. If parents are sending daughters there as some sort of brainwashing exercise, that's one thing; however, if someone wants to be more skilled in the "social arts" I have no problem with it. It's pretty paternalistic to be like "ladies need this!" but if it's something that they go into willingly, what's bad about that? A lot of these skills work well as you head into the business world as well -- even table placement (a client lunch at a country club, let's say, would be a lot easier to navigate if you know all the rules about fork usage). Also, what if someone feels more poised and confident if they know how to apply their makeup properly, sit properly, and carry on conversation in a socially appropriate manner?
@PreposterousHypothesis: My problem with this is twofold: 1) I think that it is the parent's responsibility to teach proper manners to their child/children. Going to a camp for two weeks to learn is all well and good, but without using the skills learned on a regular basis, what hope is there for retention? As a voluntary supplement, fine. But kids are not robots, and you cannot upload information and expect them to remember it without putting it into practice; and 2) some of the skills taught seem anachronistic - not every social practice applicable in the past is applicable now, nor should they be. I suppose I am not as familiar with the program as I should be before passing judgment, but it seems to be another step in trying to recapture an era, specifically the 50s, that never actually existed.
"We see a lot of young ladies who can benefit from a makeover program," said Angela Chan, director of Lambda and co-creator of the camp.
Wife camp by Lambda? I guess we wanna be ready when gay marriage is legalized so all the femme gayelles know that their proper place is in the kitchen in pearls.
06/26/09
06/26/09
(Sorry, I've made quilts and it's a pet peeve when other blanket-type objects are called quilts.)
/steps off soapbox
06/26/09
If you really want to watch a quilting reality show, Eleanor Burns is your gal. [www.quiltinaday.com]
06/26/09
Also, quilting frames are a bitch to set up.
06/26/09
06/26/09
06/26/09
06/26/09
I want booze.
I'm drinking booze!
I'm angry and want to fight someone!
Why am I crying?
More booze!
06/26/09
Confession: I only just started watching these and I think Sarah is my new favorite person.
OT: I have a coworker that is a dead-ringer for Ricki Lake. Pretty pretty.
06/26/09
06/26/09
06/26/09
06/17/09
1. -To speak clearly and confidently. I know so, so very many young women--both among my peer group and those who are younger--who cringe when they speak. I know young women I always have to ask to repeat themselves because they talk in such tiny little voices, like they're afraid someone will want to stop them from speaking up. And then there's the ever-present "oh, I'm sorry" and "I'm sorry" and "sorry!", where girls and young women feel compelled to apologize for shit that THEY DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR.
I think clear written communications would fall under the scope of this too. Make sure you have a point to be made, and then make it. Use correct spelling and grammar and punctuation. Be clear, concise, and mindful of your audience. A text message to your best friend, for instance, could be one long cuss in lolcat; a thank-you letter to your grandmother should probably be written with more clarity and poise (unless your grandmother loves lolcat.)
2. Common-sense things for home and office. No, I'm not talking about Suzy Homemaker 101--just regular stuff that makes life easier, more comfortable, or more affordable. You should know how to sew a button on. You should know how to, I dunno, at least boil pasta. Even if you don't have an official set-in-stone budget, you should have some general sense of your personal finances. You should be able to store food properly, clean/treat a minor cut or burn, sweep/mop/ otherwise clean a floor, and take care of a good pair of shoes. These are just examples. They're not 50's-housewife things, nor are they exclusive to women. Everyone should know how to do this stuff.
3. General respect for other people, their belongings, their personal space, comfort, and safety. No, this doesn't mean you have to be smarmy and learn how to curtsey and arrange 18 pieces of silverware. This should just mean that you have a general idea how to behave as a guest, how to behave as a host, how to greet people, how to behave in a board meeting, how to remain polite and appear calm in various tense situations, how to thank others for kind deeds and politely decline events/items that don't work for you, etc.
No, it's not rocket science, and no, you don't have to be nice to everybody all the time. There's a time and a place for being extra-assertive. It's just that if you know how to say please and thank you, and if you know how to consider the comfort and sanity of those around you, life tends to be more smooth and pleasant.
Knowing how to be confident, competent, and considerate is not a skill that's specifically taught in school--most people sort of have to half-ass it as they go along. It goes way beyond dessert forks and makeup tricks.
06/17/09
I could use a good how-to-clean class. I actually ended up buying a book last year on how to clean everything because apparently it's not something this lady was genetically blessed with. much to my mother's chagrin. ahem.
06/17/09
06/17/09
To their surprise, I turned out to be the tomboy. Still didn't fly.
06/17/09
If you want your children to learn how to behave in public, set a good example for them to follow and quietly nudge them in the right direction when you see they might need it.
My brother and I always knew "a child's place" (if you see a bunch of adults gathered, keep quiet or go play, preferably the latter) but as we got older it was much easier for us to be integrated into formal events, etc. because our parents showed us how to act.
06/17/09
06/17/09
Send 'em to band camp instead ;-)
06/17/09
For example. When the old man in the Town Car came thisclose to running me over while I was on my bike today, I said 'You are an an asshole, SIR.'.
06/17/09
I think EVERYONE should have something that teaches them lessons of politeness, proper posture, how to dress for business/business casual settings, how to be a good host/hostess, how to cook and decorate, how to pay a compliment, how to make small talk, and how to introduce people... I just don't know how or where we have it.
I will say, the best lessons I recieved in conversation, respectful disagreement, and confidence came from my sorority in college, the first place I encountered a true no woman-on-woman hate vibe. Some of the girls lapsed, of course, but having ideals and expectations that you will get along with others and be polite to people you don't like and always try to see where the other side is coming from was nice. It also taught me how to drink responsibily, which is something I think we DEFINATELY need here, especially since so many interviews, networking events, and business deals are done over drinks. I'm just sad that it took until college for me to have a comprehensive program teaching me "social graces" and until highschool to have any formal program beyond parental instruction.
06/17/09
06/17/09
06/17/09
/snark
06/17/09
Unless the camp has scholarships! Then girls of all socioeconomic classes can learn things that you're just supposed have beaten into you by parents/grandparents.
06/17/09
06/17/09
06/17/09
06/17/09
Wife camp by Lambda? I guess we wanna be ready when gay marriage is legalized so all the femme gayelles know that their proper place is in the kitchen in pearls.