• Blake Fielder-Civil claims that he and his ex-wife of four months, Amy Winehouse, are back together and engaged once again. "This time we're doing things properly and hopefully that will help our families both come round to the idea. [DailyMail]

• However, Fielder-Civil admits that Winehouse's father, Mitch, might not be thrilled with the idea of the couple's reunion: "Mitch controls most of Amy's life," he says, "I'm fed up with people trying to tear us apart. The only reason me and Amy want to be together is because we love each other." [a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1237098/Amy-Winehouse-engaged-ex-husband-Blake-Fielder-Civil.html?ITO=1490&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+dailymail%2Ftvshowbiz+(TV+%26+Showbiz+|+Mail+Online)#ixzz0a99AdXKt">DailyMail]
• And he's not wrong—as Mitch Winehouse tells the Times of London: that he thinks Fielder-Civil's family sees Amy as "a fantastic opportunity" and that he hopes Fielder-Civil is out of her life: "It will be a disaster if he's not out of the picture." [TimesOnline]
• Sarah Jessica Parker is working on a "genderless perfume," and she apparently hopes it smells a bit like body odor: "It has taken me three years to decide on the scent because I really like B.O. and I think it's sexy," she says, "I wanted to figure out a way to make it palatable to everybody. I was like, 'How do you get B.O. in a bottle and make an atomiser of it?" [DailyExpress]
• Todd Phillips, director of The Hangover, says he wants Tiger Woods to make an appearance in the film's upcoming sequel: "Mike (Tyson) loved doing The Hangover because he loved f**king with the image people had of him," Phillips says, "He knew we were not making fun of him but of the image people projected on him." [DailyExpress]
• "Women who turn to cosmetic procedures look ghastly. They don't look like themselves. I quite like the way I look, I'm quite happy with the way I look and I really don't want to change it. In front of the camera it (my skin) probably isn't nearly as good as it used to be. But, I mean, what the hell, everybody's got to get older."- Joan Collins [DailyMail]
• Lindsay Lohan and Leonardo DiCaprio were spotted "socializing" again last night, showing up to the same nightclub, and later, the same Christmas party, but leaving both separately. [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, Jude Law and Sienna Miller have been spotted all over New York City together and are apparently very much on-again. ""They spend every night in the same place together, either his place or her apartment," says a source. [NYPost]
• Charlize Theron debuted her line of Tom's Shoes yesterday: the proceeds from sales of the shoes will go to her foundation, which "is dedicated to improving the health, education, and social development of high school children in the country." [DailyExpress]
• Rachel McAdams attempted to win the cast and crew of Sherlock Holmes over with a slightly weird gift: "I had no time and it was right before work and it was our last day," she says, "so I went in and I was looking around... and then I get to the counter and there are these chocolates, and I was like, 'Oh, those are so cute; they look like little kisses... or bumholes. They're cute little chocolate bumholes!' There was, like, dark chocolate and milk chocolate and white chocolate and I bought all of them... (but) no one ate the buttholes." [DailyExpress]
• Star Trek's Patrick Stewart is set to be knighted by the Queen. [Mirror]
• Former porn star Tera Patrick split with her husband, Evan Seinfeld, after he refused to stop starring in porn himself: "I said to Evan, 'I'm your wife, and that is the strongest bond two people should have, and that should come first. I've moved on from porn. And I want you to stop. You promised me you'd only do porn for a few years. Your few years are up.' " [PageSix]
• Leann Rimes' estranged husband, Dean Sheremet, has officially filed divorce papers. The couple, who have been together since February 2002, have apparently been working on the divorce since September. [Yahoo]
• And in other divorce news: Ivana Trump has announced that she's divorcing her fourth husband, Rossano Rubicondi. [ET]
• Joey Fatone and his wife, Kelly Baldwin, are expecting their second child early next month. [DailyExpress]
• Zoe Saldana says actresses like Angelina Jolie and Halle Berry have opened doors: "Before them, women were just sex pots or mothers. They were never the heroes who saved the day. They've enabled a generation of actresses to have a bigger variety of roles. If I wanted to be part of a story that is amazing and had a lot of sexual openness, that's fine. But I am so grateful to know that, like them, I can open different doors for women." [ShowbizSpy]
• Lil' Wayne was questioned and released last night after U.S. Border Patrol agents found marijuana on two of his tour buses. [Yahoo]
• "Young actresses today don't eat enough. I meet them for lunch, we sit down at the table, they look around and they say, 'Oh, but everything is so good, everything looks wonderful.' And then they eat just a bite of this and a bite of that. They never finish their food, never. I am the only one eating at the table! I get very upset by this. I worry about them because every woman is motherly, no? I tell them to eat more because I worry they will starve to death."-Sophia Loren [DailyMail]
• Michael Jackson's Captain EO is set to return to Disneyland in February. [Yahoo]
• "I like to shop with girls. Buying them shoes, being spoiled by the girls in Chanel when they try things on - I love it."-Hugh Grant, making someone's romantic comedy dreams come true. [ShowbizSpy]
• "Post-feminism has been really confusing. It influenced so many women to leave a lot of their feminine qualities behind and assume the business suit. That's why [Sex and the City] captured so many women's imaginations. It's truthful and it's real and it's now; it's not dated, and it keeps evolving. These four women really make up one complete woman."-Kim Cattrall [WSJ]

[Beverly Hills, December 18. Image via x17.]

• Beyoncé's first perfume, Heat, launches in February. She says, "Red is one of my favorite colors, as is gold." And the bottle is intended to look antique, because her mother had so many old perfumes when she was little. [WWD]

• Whitney Port, of The Hills/The City fame, says, of fellow fashion-designing show alums Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag, "I put myself in a different sort of realm as them." Port's biggest fear with her label is "people not understanding your point of view, not being able to get it. But I think my biggest competition is myself." [WWD]
• About 200 Chanel employees picketed the company's headquarters just outside of Paris. Workers who make less than €3000 a month have been offered a 1% pay raise; instead, they would like a raise of 2.5%. [WWD]
• Charlize Theron embroidered a baobab tree on a pair of red Toms shoes for her limited-edition collaboration with the eco-friendly, ethically managed company. Ten thousand of the shoes will be distributed free to children in her native South Africa, and the profits from the $54 slip-ons will benefit Theron's charity. [People]
• According to Jimmy Choo, Madonna thinks his shoes are better than sex. "Madonna told me that buying a pair of my shoes is more satisfying than having sex with a man. At least you know they are going to last for ever!" [OK!]
• Tory Burch is growing overseas. The designer recently opened a flagship in Manila, and her first Tokyo store, which just fêted its launch, will be joined by 30 more outposts across the country over the next few years. [WWD]
• Check out the decade in Olsen style, from distressed denim and tube tops to Chloé wedges and studded Givenchy jackets, via the notorious NYU bag lady period. [Style.com]
• Ever since Barack Obama identified his wife's pin, on Oprah, as one he had purchased for her at Garavelli on their anniversary, people have been buying Garavelli jewelry like it's going out of style. [WWD]
• Lady Gaga curated a selection of goods for sale at the site Not Just A Label. You can snap up her fringed lace half hat from the video for "Bad Romance" for a surprisingly reasonable £92, should you feel the need to dress like a deranged Spanish widow from 2078. [NJAL]
• Malls in Dubai still seem busy, despite the debt crisis there. [WWD]
• Hilary Rhoda will be in next year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Friend-to-Jezebel Liz Glover recently interviewed the model and asked her about her shoot for last year's issue. "For a model, it is a major achievement and a business tactic to widen my fan base," said the Chevy Chase native, over e-mail. "I work out every day, and to have a strong body instead of something frail like in fashion magazines, that's something to look up to." Rhoda, of course, sometimes does appear in the pages of fashion magazines — she once made the cover of American Vogue. Could her athletic look gain high-fashion acceptance? We can dare to dream. [Washington Times]
• Model Jamie Bochert recently ran 12 blocks to get her purse back from a robber. Now that's an athlete. Also she is in the new Lanvin campaign. [WWD]
• Christian Siriano says his maternity line includes party dresses because, "When you're pregnant you still do the same things that you would normally do — go to events, baby showers and weddings. Not every brand does sweet, fun party dresses like this." [People]
• Says Carmen Dell'Orefice, whose name this time Page Six spells correctly: "Sympathy I don't need. Another ad campaign would be great." Dell'Orefice lost most of her fortune in Bernie Madoff's ponzi scheme. [P6]
• More details have emerged about the fashion business incubator program launching soon in New York. Twelve lucky designers will be given the opportunity to rent studio space in the heart of the garment district for under market rates — around $1500 a month. The program is underwritten by a $200,000 grant from the New York City Economic Development Corporation and operated by the Council of Fashion Designers of America. The tenant designers will be announced this month. [FWD]
• Because of dismal sales, Ben Sherman is shuttering its women's line. The company earlier this year stopped making children's wear. [WWD]
• Nike's quarterly results for the period ended November 30 were only slightly down on last year's. Profits and sales at the world's largest sporting goods company each fell by 4%. [WSJ]

The thing about models is that they are rarely the subjects of long, investigative, detailed magazine profiles, leavened with biographical information about their parents' backgrounds and whatever psychological tells the writer can seize upon during his or her reporting. Models are mostly seen in pictures. They're there to entertain our projections, and that's easiest done mute. It's celebrities who are endlessly, redundantly storied, profiled over and over again until such mundanities as what Leighton likes to eat for lunch and the fact that Angelina has a pilot's license have been entirely too thoroughly plumbed for metaphoric depth. The glimpse-of-fame profile is an essential part of the celebrity-sartorial complex, but the problems with it are manifold. As the celebrity profiles proliferate, the pool of unreported information that might actually be interesting or affecting to a wide audience shrinks. The pool of under-covered celebrities — who are (of course) pretty and (nearly always) white and (duh) thin enough to fit sample sizes in the standard lavish photo shoot — dwindles, too, until we're stuck reading about the Deep Thoughts of reality TV stars and teenagers ad nauseam. And as women's magazines' reliance on Big Cover Stars to anchor their issues grows, the conditions imposed by the army of protective flacks — writer approval, preset no-go topics, limitations on access — become more byzantine. (Hence why Elle spiked even this pretty tame profile of Jennifer Lopez at the request of her reps. Hence why you'll never read about the night Charlize Theron's mom shot and killed her dad while 15-year-old Charlize watched in a women's magazine. You will instead be told that she's really pretty, and much too polite to be thought of as having opinions, or as Vogue puts it, "far be it from her to ruin a perfectly nice luncheon trying to prove that she's a serious person.") Models get talked about as images but don't tend to get covered as people. Celebrities talk all too much, but far be it from them to say anything interesting.

So into this morass of diminishing returns steps Lara Stone, and it is just so weird to read a story that starts off in the standard mawkish key of celebrity profile writing — obligatory meaningless quote from Mario Testino; repetitive physical description along the lines of "naked Venus...austere, Flemish face...Her breasts are so perfect even I found it hard not to stare at them"; entirely too much attention paid to what she is wearing — before switching codes entirely.

What's the longest she has stayed in one place in the past two years, asks Vogue's Vassi Chamberlain, after Stone confesses she has spent seven days at a stretch, max, in her London apartment since moving to the city six months ago.

She answers without hesitating: "Four weeks." Was that on holiday? "No. That was to rehab." ... "I am a complete alcoholic," she says. "It used to be so easy to tell someone, 'Get me a bottle of vodka,' and they'd run and get it."

Okay then! Consider our expectations raised.

In the story — which you cannot read at British Vogue's website, but which people have taken the time to scan here and here — Stone goes on to make various statements which aren't "bold" or "interesting," with all the self-consciousness those imply, so much as they are just affectingly real. She doesn't sound like she's talking from a well-rehearsed script when pressed about controversial industry practices, as can the otherwise clever Lily Cole. Cole recently claimed in the Times of London, "I saw eating problems more at my school than in that industry. I do get that there is an aesthetic — it changes generation by generation. There's always been an ideal, from the Fifties or the Eighties," which is an ingenious dodge of the size-zero question and a very disingenuous thing to say. Stone, who despite her 34"-24"-35" measurements is sometimes considered one of the larger straight-size models, calls herself "fat" and says, "If I could have the discipline to be super-skinny, I would be. I think of dieting, then I eat pizza. I'm a woman, and every woman wants to be skinnier. Unfortunately." Cole, testy: "I think drugs are taken all over the world. And I've never really experienced it." Stone, realistic: "I never really wanted to be that model on drugs, the sort who gives head for a line of coke."

Stone isn't interested in running interference for an industry that treated her with standard disinterest for the better part of a decade before she, at the improbable age of 23, started to enjoy breakout success. As a teenager in Paris, she lived in an Elite model apartment with up to seven other girls. She was not a sensation. "We did 15 castings a day, visiting the same people over and over again. They'd make bitchy comments about us in French, thinking we didn't understand." (Sounds...familiar.) Stone also worked in Japan, where her agency measured her weekly, instructed her never to smile, and contracted her to do up to three shoots a day. Models who got pimples were sent back. Not that Stone is dewy-eyed about model solidarity: she pushed a girl who wouldn't get out of her way at the Jaeger show this season. "I kept saying, 'Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me,' because I had to get to the catwalk, but she just kept posing. So I pushed her. It was only a few stairs." It's not easy to imagine Kate Bosworth confessing to something so human.

"Men don't like me," reports Stone. For all her much-vaunted "curves", she says, "I haven't been on a date in six months." She last dated an investment banker in New York; the end of the relationship coincided with her stint in rehab and her move to London. "I've just started a club with a girlfriend," she reports, "called the We Hate Men But We Can't Be Gay Club."

I Hate Women's Magazine Profiles But Can't Stop Reading Them.

Ones like this are pretty all right, though.

British Vogue [Official Site]
Stone Age [The Fashion Spot]
Charlize Theron At Home On The Range [Vogue]
Time Out: Lily Cole [Times of London]
Behind The Glow [Daily Beast]

Earlier:French Vogue All Lara Stone, All The Time
The 5 Great Lies of Women's Magazines

• Is Sean Penn the unofficial liaison between Barack Obama and Hugo Chavez? Penn visited Chavez in Caracas on Wednesday and apparently the Venezuelan president told him:

"They gave [Obama] the Nobel Prize — very well, now he should earn it." [Page Six]

• Britney Spears is using Twitter, Twitpic and Twitvid to promote her new single, "3" — there's a micro snippet of the video at the link. [LA Times]
• Ashton Kutcher's best friend is a rabbi named Yehuda Berg from the Kabbalah center. [People]
• Who will host the Oscars in 2010? Hugh Jackman has turned the job down. These are random choices, but I'd love to see Amy Poehler or Wanda Sykes. Or both. [Variety]
• Nanny Stephanie Santoro says that Jon Gosselin was suicidal at the thought of Hailey Glassman breaking up with him: "He said he was going to kill himself… He said he was going to end it all … he couldn't handle it anymore." Breakdown in 3…2… [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin plans to publicly apologize "in a sacred space to those whom I have hurt" at the West Side Synagogue in NYC on Sunday. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, word is that Jon Gosselin/Nadya Suleman show is "definitely on." A source says:"Both Jon and Nadya are each looking at bringing in close to $1 million for doing it." [Gatecrasher]
• Did you see Derek Jeter kiss Michelle Obama the other night? [NY Post]
• Another day, another Michael Jackson money problem. This time it's Leonard Rowe, who says he was MJ's manager of the singer. He's filed a creditors claim for $51,218. [TMZ]
• Wow, John Landis — who directed the "Thriller" video — says Michael Jackson's estate owes him for $400,000; a production company which dealt with the "Thriller" video says it's owed more than $1,000,000; and the producer of the "Thriller" video wants more than a million as well. [TMZ]
• By the by, the Michael Jackson movie will be up for Academy Award consideration. [Mirror]
• Joe Jackson says Michael Jackson is "worth more dead than when he was alive." [NY Post]
• Taylor Squared: Going strong. [Page Six]
• Wait, what? Ne-Yo sings on The Princess And The Frog soundtrack? How very Jazz Age New Orleans. [ONTD]
• Amanda Peet was burglarized by a sassy character. [Page Six]
• Heroes is winding down; low ratings has NBC thinking a "final chapter" is the next way to go. [NY Post]
• Charlize Theron will star in Mad Max: Fury Road. That's right, a new Mad Max flick! No word on whether Mel Gibson is involved, but Brit cutie Tom Hardy is in the flick. [Variety]
• Reese Witherspoon will star in and produce a screenplay called Rule #1 — about a New York woman who befriends a Puerto Rican girl with attention deficit disorder. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• What the world needs now: Men In Black 3. [Reuters]
• David Spade got $200,000 for that Tommy Boy DirecTV commercial with the late Chris Farley. [Page Six]
• Sad face: Dennis Hopper has prostate cancer. He's canceling all travel plans to focus on treatment and is in a "special program" at USC. Be well! [AP]
• Jackie Collins listens to Mariah Carey, John Mayer… and Jay-Z. [Independent]
• "Whenever I'm in the recording studio or rehearsing and I'm not convinced about the way it sounds, I know because my body doesn't react to the music. So I always ask, Hey, am I moving? Are my hips moving? My hips don't lie." — One of 10 answers to 10 questions for Shakira. [Time]
• "I know it gets sensationalized when I say, 'I was very close to death', but I was. It was a scary time. It's scarier since people like Michael Jackson and Heath Ledger have been popping their clogs. pretty much thought 'Is this worth it?' It was obviously not making me happy. The definition of insanity is repeating the same things and expecting a different result. At the time I thought, with the kicking and the rehab, maybe there's other things in life?" — Robbie Williams. [News.com.au]
• "I haven't gone back since because I'm afraid… I'd never get sober for one thing, and to have to run around in a dress. . . it's cold up there!" — Mel Gibson on why he hasn't returned to Scotland since Braveheart. [Daily Mail]
• "When I did my first album, I was marketed as the singer who would appeal to your grandma. But as each record arrived with more power and confidence, I began to sound younger and younger. Some singers start out as young punks and then make a classics album later in their career. With me, it has been the other way round. I feel as if I've finally started acting my own age. I'm the Benjamin Button of pop. It offends me when people think I only listen to Frank Sinatra. I was born in 1975 and I never wanted to be part of the Rat Pack. As a kid, my biggest idol was Michael Jackson. As a teenager, I wanted to be one of the Beastie Boys." — MIchael Bublé. [Daily Mail]
• "I always felt like the male from the time I was a child. There wasn't much feminine about me. I believe that gender is something between your ears, not between your legs. That is something I discovered in the early '90s. It was just a long process of being comfortable enough to do something about it." — Chaz Bono loves being a man. [People]
• "I was tempted to do it. But I couldn't take it. One smoke of pot and I fall asleep. I don't get much out of it. But that's beside the point. My kids were saying, 'Daddy, you have to try!' That's when I shut down. These were mushrooms ... I said, 'Listen, I didn't go through a sex change operation to direct all these women's movies so don't get me started.'" — Ang Lee wouldn't take acid to direct an LSD scene. [Independent]
• "I just drank an iced tea here with lunch. If next year they say iced tea is worse than steroids, I'll probably quit drinking that too. But at the time it was legal, just like drinking an iced tea is legal. The baseball players, the football players, the hockey players - everybody I knew in every professional sport was using it to up their game, or to heal injuries, or to stay at their peak. And everybody thought it was safe." — Hulk Hogan talks about steroid use in his new book. [Time]
• "I hate them!" — Paris Hilton on the Teen Thieves, who stole clothes and jewelry from her home. [Page Six]
• "I have lots of original ideas that maybe will get made. But everyone... Even if you bring them the most obscure movie that nobody's ever heard of — they want to remake that." — Rob Zombie, who reworked Halloween and Halloween 2 and may remake The Blob, calls Hollywood a "scared town." [CNN]
• "America's the only country where people have said that the New Zealand accent sounds posh or sexy or exotic. Anywhere else, it doesn't. That's why I've been spending a lot of time here." — Flight Of The Conchords' Jemaine Clement. [NY Post]
• "As the mother of my kids, I won't slam Dina personally. But she has expressed to me that Lindsay is in dire, dire need of an intervention. And Lindsay needs to see that her mother is either lying to me or lying to her. Dina says positive things about Samantha when she's talking to Lindsay, but then when Dina talks to me, she blames Lindsay's downfall on the Ronsons. If Dina and her cohorts want to continue lying, I could [keep exposing her] for a year - on so many different subjects. My lawyers told me to keep every single conversation - and I did." — Michael Lohan is taking voicemail tapes to Entertainment Tonight. [Perez]
• "If I go back to my black neighborhood, they'll rob the [bleep] out of me." — Tracy Morgan, promoting his memoir, I Am the New Black, at Barnes & Noble. [Page Six]
• "I always felt that I wanted to help women, period. As a child I [saw] women really, really suffer terrible, terrible situations, and I vowed as a child to want to do something — anything — that can help them have better self-esteem so that they don't have to be subjected to men that wanted to kill them. In my music, that's what I've been doing in my career, and now through FFAWN I'm doing that. I guess what got me through when I was young was something I guess a lot of people don't have and that was just the will. ... I don't know what was driving me. I guess it was something in me did want to die — you know, I guess my spirit didn't want to die, but my physical body definitely was at some point was like I gotta get out of here. ... My physical body was contemplating suicide and all this other crazy stuff, and my spirit is what saved me, I believe." — Mary J. Blige, at the official ribbon-cutting for the Mary J. Blige Center for Women, which was made possible through Blige's Foundation for the Advancement of Women Now (FFAWN), design house Gucci and Westchester Jewish Community Services. [CNN]

• Ready for a mega-eyeroll? A "fan" is threatening to kill her cat, Fuzzy, and eat the animal unless Miley Cyrus reopens her Twitter account. The girl says:

"This is NOT a prank or a hoax. I am not joking, even if some will choose to interpret it that way. Cooking a cat is not illegal in my country, in fact it's part of our culture. I'm not asking for money or any other benefit. Fuzzy is my cat and I will not entertain any offers of selling or giving him away. If Miley doesn't tweet again, this WILL happen, and I'm as serious as a heart attack." [ONTD via Ocean Up]

• By the by, the 53-year-old man arrested for stalking Miley will not face felony charges. [TMZ]
• The Teen Thieves — who allegedly broke into the homes of Lindsay Lohan, Orlando Bloom, Audrina Patridge and others — were possibly going to target Mariah Carey and Rihanna next. TMZ calls them the Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch™. [TMZ]
• The L.A Times calls the Teen Thieves the "Bling Ring," since the kids were after jewelry. [LA Times]
• A seized computer used by one of the Teen Thieves had pictures of Lindsay and Sam shopping for Rolex watches downloaded on it. And! There was a picture on the computer of someone wearing a blue Rolex, possibly after the burglary. It's like they used gossip sites to "shop" for what they wanted to steal. ALLEGEDLY. [TMZ, TMZ]
• Add Britney Spears, Jessica Biel, Hayden Panettiere, Bette Midler (?!?), Shania Twain (?!?!) and Goldie Hawn (?!?!) to the list of celebs whose photos the Hollywood Hills Burglar Bunch had on their computer. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears has been wearing some "chunky bling" on that finger, so naturally, she's engaged. [The Sun]
• Michael Lohan can't stop talking about Lindsay: "Dina is saying that I'm lying - that Lindsay doesn't have a problem and that she's okay… But I have proof that Dina has told me Lindsay is on death's doorstep, that she doesn't have much time left. There have been frantic calls. And I'm going to prove that Dina is the liar, not me." Good grief, man. Aren't some things private? Apparently not: Michael Lohan will "prove" that Dina is lying by playing numerous voice-mail messages she's left for him — on Monday's Entertainment Tonight. [Gatecrasher]
• I'm sure you'll find this simply shocking, but socialite Tinsley Mortimer's upcoming reality show will be sorta fake. [Page Six]
• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner had a Sheva Brachot. [People]
• Anderson Cooper. In an opulent hotel in India. With a four-poster mahogany bed. And a large round bathtub, filled with bubbles and rose petals. [Page Six]
• This new Alice In Wonderland extended trailer is nightmarishly beautiful. Johnny Depp scares me a little. Is this what Tim Burton's dreams look like? [PopWrap]
• It's confirmed: Levi is going "Full Johnson" in Playgirl. I'm cocksure jokes will follow. [TMZ]
• Charlize Theron auctioned off a meeting with Nelson Mandela… without notifying Nelson Mandela. [Page Six]
• If you have $28 million (€19 million), you can buy Castello di Castagneto Po — the castle in the Italian hills where French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy spent her early childhood. The neo-Gothic place is surrounded by 175 acres "replete with vegetable gardens, orchards, flowering terraces, ancient greenhouses, a caretaker's house and a farm building." here is a picture of the humble abode. [Reuters]
• Chris Brown has been hanging out with Natalie Nunn from The Bad Girls Club. In the bio for the show she says she "enjoys cruising in her sugar daddies' expensive cars and painting the town red with her cool celebrity friends." Yup, SO COOL. [TMZ]
• Here's the thing about the reality show starring Jon Gosselin and Nadya Suleman — to be called Jon - Kate = Jon + Octomom (which we mentioned yesterday: Jon's rep says: "This is the first I've even heard of it. This isn't happening." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meet the Hayes family, whose new show Table For 12, will air next month when Jon & Kate is gone. [NY Post]
• Josh Duhamel denies that he cheated on Fergie with a stripper. His rep says: This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity… This story is absolutely ridiculous." [E!]
• Kevin Federline is in therapy as part of Celebrity Fit Club, and High School Musical star KayCee Stroh, who's also on the show, says: "Kevin's as cool as a cucumber. He keeps it all together. All the rest of us are sobbing like babies, but Kevin is pretty calm and collected." [E!]
• An auction house disclosed that some Michael Jackson memorabilia was previously owned by David Gest; Gest claimed they had no right to use his name and demanded $200,000. So the auction house is suing Gest. [TMZ]
• Some Michael Jackson fans picketed the This Is It premiere Tuesday night, feeling that he was "neglected, used, and emotionally tormented until his last days" and "while this footage was being shot, people around him knew that he looked like he might have died." [Page Six]
• Even though people find the commercial for DirecTV featuring a scene from Tommy Boy — and starring the late Chris Farley and David Spade kind of tasteless, Spade doesn't have a problem with bringing Farley back to life and says: "These commercials are cool. They're well done. They're clever. And that they would include Tommy Boy in that company, I thought was very flattering… Oh, my God if [Farley] was here, I guarantee he'd be stoked that this little movie is included." [People]
• Jessica Biel will star and produce Fucking Engaged, a "raunchy comedy" from "rookie screenwriter" Julia Brownell. The pitch: A couple makes a pact to have sex every day leading to their wedding so they don't turn into their crusty old parents. Kudos to Brownell for selling her first script! I don't know her but she went to my screenwriting school. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Anne Heche will be in two comedy flicks — one of which is the Will Ferrell/Mark Wahlberg movie The Other Guys. [Variety]
• Has one of Anna Nicole Smith's former doctors been hiding some key medical records? [TMZ]
• So there was a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode that offended Catholics. What else is new? [E!]
• Donald Trump's crew has started work on a new golf resort in Scotland — despite opposition from many, including Tilda Swinton. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• At the link, Jane Campion explains why she was so moved by the tragic affair between John Keats and Fanny Brawne, the subject of her new film, Bright Star. [Telegraph]
• Mel B. says she's honored by gay men finding her attractive: "I try hard with my body… I don't look like a bloke though!" [Daily Express]
• Real Housewife Kandi Burruss talks about her ex-fiancé's murder at the link. [NY Post]
• ABC had plans to have skywriters spray giant Vs over major cities to promote new TV show V, but have decided it might scare folks. [NY Post]
• Corey Feldman is "deeply hurt" by his wife filing for divorce. [People]
• Some of the pros from Dancing With The Stars will join the cast of Burn The Floor on Broadway next month. [NY Post]
• Q: I cry when I watch...
  A: "Everything! I'm half Irish-I cry at commercials. I recently saw a movie called The Greatest. We watched it at 8 a.m., and I was ruined for the rest of the day. I had a headache from crying." — Tim McGraw. [Readers' Digest]
• "I could do with another boob lift, but no way. I don't want to end up looking like (Jocelyn Wildenstein). She looked freaky." — Courtney Love, after meeting Wildenstein. [MSNBC]
• I spotted her in the crowd and thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on, but she came backstage with this good-looking dude and I assumed it was her boyfriend. The other problem was that I don't speak Spanish and she had no English. But the guy did, so I just spoke to him. I was a bit nervous because of how beautiful she was. The more I drank, the more I made things worse. I later found out she was on the phone to her mother the whole time saying, 'Buble's gay. He's hitting on my friend.' She couldn't believe it…" — MIchael Bublé on meeting his new girlfriend. [The Sun]
• "Make sure you have a date night just the two of you together, without the kids." — Hugh Jackman's advice on keeping a family happy. [Mirror]
• "I shave about once a week now. It kind of started to come in just like peach fuzz. I always wanted to shave. It is a very natural process. For my birthday I got a lot of shaving stuff." — Chaz Bono. [People]
• Q: TBS has said your show will be like a street party. What does that mean to you, a street party?
  A: "Probably what it means to TBS is that it's going to be safe and a lot of fun and properly lit. A street party to me means it's dark, it's fun, you stay after the party, and you just try to condense as much fun into that one hour." — George Lopez, possibly one of the only Latinos with a late night talk show. [Reuters]
• "Thank you to those who appreciate and understand that the album cover is deliberately campy. It's an (homage) to the past. It IS ridiculous. For those that don't get it: oh well… Glad to have gotten your attention. Androgyny. Rock n Roll." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert, on his Glamour Shots album cover. [MSNBC]
• "I fear the worst. Look at Elvis, Anna Nicole Smith, Heath Ledger - who was a close friend of hers. It could be a year, a month, a week - who knows?" — Michael Lohan tries to predict when Lindsay is going to die. [MSNBC]

[Los Angeles, October 28. Image via WENN.]

• Did Rosie O'Donnell try to romance Angelina Jolie? She told Howard Stern on his radio show:

"We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that… There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through. I was a little afraid of Angelina. She's scary in a sexual kind of way." [Gatecrasher]

• Charlize Theron's nickname is Ass-nuts. No, really. [Mirror]
• Last week, Lil' Wayne pleaded guilty to possessing a .40-caliber semi-automatic cops found in a Louis Vuitton bag on his tour bus. He's focusing on partying before he gets sentenced in February — when he's expected to get a year in jail. [Page Six]
• Lindsay Lohan has moved out of her Hollywood Hills house, which was broken into in August. She's now in a West Hollywood condo. Adjust accordingly. [Page Six]
• On his album cover, Adam "Glambert" Lambert reminds me of Debbie Gibson or Belinda Carlisle. [The Life Files]
• Since her TV career is iffy, Kate Gosselin has renewed her nursing license — she used to be a labor and delivery nurse at The Reading Hospital and Medical Center in Pennsylvania. It's good to have a back-up plan! Imagine having contractions and then seeing her in the delivery room? [RadarOnline]
• Yikes: Matthew Broderick's new play was previewing Monday night, but he wasn't prepared. He had to stop the play to ask for his lines 10 times during the first act alone. [Gatecrasher]
• Critics cannot stop gushing about Carey Mulligan, earning her "It Girl" status. She says: "It Girl is such a weird term,… It implies I go to parties and drink champagne and um… it's weird." [CNN]
• The Church of Scientology is pissed Crash director Paul Haggis claims the religion is anti-gay. Tommy Davis, a spokesperson for Scientology, says: "The church supports civil rights for everybody, regardless of sexual orientation, race, color or creed. We are a minority, too; we understand what it's like to be persecuted, so to the extent that anything prohibits or inhibits on civil rights, we don't agree with it." So why was the Church's name of a list of churches which supported Prop 8? Davis says that was an error. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Take a deep breath: The Jonas Brothers are not, repeat NOT breaking up. It's true that Nick Jonas has formed a band called Nick Jonas & The Administration, but he says: "We've said from the beginning of our career as the Jonas Brothers that anything we do outside of the group is a side project because you can't break up brothers… My brothers are my biggest supporters." [People]
• Secrets from Sex And The City 2: The Reckoning Of The Boogaloo! It's bigger! But not as long as the first! The cast has been shooting all night! With huge crowds involving hundreds of people! Please God let it be a prison dance scene. [The Sun]
• In Lily Allen's new video, she plays a woman obsessed with Elton John. As you may recall, the two had a "feud" last year when she called him an old drunk (I'm paraphrasing) and he told her he could snort her under the table. [News.com.au]
• Richard Gere is in talks to star on the UK show Strictly Dancing. He's done ballroom before — in Shall We Dance, with Jennifer Lopez. Not that I've seen it. [The Sun]
• Andre Agassi did meth in the '90s and then lied when he failed a drug test. [NY Post]
• Ryan Seacrest is producing a show called The Bank Of Hollywood, in which contestants pitch money-making ideas to business leaders. Sean Patterson, president of Wilhelmina models (you've seen him on ANTM) will be the main judge. [Page Six]
• Dr. Conrad Murray is blaming Michael Jackson on his inability to pay child support; the DA is calling bullshit on that. [TMZ]
• Dr. Arnold Klein has filed a creditors claim against the Michael Jackson estate, claiming he's owed $48,522.89 for services performed between March 23 2009 through June 22 2009 — just three days before Jackson's death. The services include Botox, acne surgery, Latisse, Restylane, and "nutritic lips." [TMZ]
• One of the services Dr. Klein provided is listed as "I.M. injection. A source says says "I.M. Injection" is commonly used as billing code for the narcotic Demerol. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson was in negotiations to buy a $38 million Bel Air mansion right before he died; his kids had seen the house and loved it. [TMZ]
• U2 will play a free concert in Berlin — in front of the Brandenburg Gate — to celebrate 20 years since the fall of the Berlin wall. [USA Today]
• Idris Elba was on The Office for seven episodes, and is continuing to have a relationship with NBC: He will be the executive producer of an legal drama about a vigilante lawyer who uses "any means necessary." Malcom X, Attorney At Law? [Reuters]
• Spotted: Jane Lynch — aka Glee's Sue Sylvester — making out with a "gal pal" in NYC. [Page Six]
• Morrissey returned to the stage after collapsing at his last show and made jokes about feeling ill. [Mirror]
• Simon Cowell recommended that Gordon Ramsey get some cosmetic surgery. So he did. [NY Post]
• Lisa Niemi, Patrick Swayze's widow, spoke at a women's conference on grief yesterday, saying: "When the grief takes you, it's like your body is not your own. I'm just going with the flow. I know I have to go through it. I've spent two thirds of my life with him. ... My regret is that I didn't tell him that I loved him enough over that entire 34 years. I am so grateful for what I had and my connection to him, and part of me believes that I will see him again… and I'm just going to have to go on until then." [People]
• Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson had to finish taping his show by flashlight last night when high winds knocked out the power at a CBS studio. That's what they call dark comedy, ba dum bum. [AP]
• Precious star Gabourey Sidibe is in talks to appear in a Showtime series called The C Word, in which Laura Linney stars as a terminal cancer patient. Gabby would have a guest spot as a teen with a bad attitude. [Variety]
• At the link, Alicia Silverstone talks about her fave recipe, restaurant, cookbook and food destination. [The Daily Beast]
• Corey Feldman's wife has filed for divorce. They've been married seven years and have a five-year-old son together. He'll be expected to pay attorney fees and spousal support, so maybe we'll get Lost Boys 2: The Frog Brothers' Revenge. [TMZ]
• Magician David Copperfield's sexual assault lawsuit has been delayed for six months. [AP]
• As a kid, I loved Miami Vice, so it's cool to hear Philip Michael Thomas is out there doing something, even if it's hosting a fundraiser for Republican Whilly Bermudez's campaign for the Florida legislature. I guess. [UPI]
• Michael Madsen: Facing eviction. [TMZ]
• "'I Google all day long, because I'm an information freak. I'm always looking for information about something. I do believe that Google was invented for me personally. 'As for Googling myself, I did that once but I gave up. There were seven and a half million sites, so I went 'whoops.'" — Michael Caine. [Telegraph]
• "I won't even see scary movies. I've been in them, and then I've been like, 'Whoa, this is way too scary for me.' I guess I've held on to some of those little childhood moments - when you're in the dark and there's a rattle outside and you're thinking there's a monster under your bed." — Josh Lucas. [Gatecrasher]

Charlize Theron just auctioned off a kiss for some insane sum. This sort of vixen costume is appropriate kissing-booth wear.


Hilary Swank is drawn like a moth to the flame to Loehmann's Back-Room Dowdy.


Carey Mulligan's bird of paradise is rendered a tad unflattering by these divisive shoes.


And speaking of the avian... Shannen Doherty should really learn that 5 pounds of plumage around the waist is less than attractive.


Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidibe's gorgeous, regal gown is set off perfectly by the unexpected pop of the necklace. She must have known she was going to be front and center accepting an award!


AnnaLynne McCord has apparently been raiding Nancy Reagan's rag bag again.


Still don't know how I feel about the combination of giant shoulders and tiny hair that's all the crack. Do know that Julianne Moore looks lovely in peach.


Zachary Quinto's retro shantung is appropriately Spock-ish.


It's too bad Maria Bello's frock is so sack-like, because I am prepared to love anything sleeved and easy.


Kate Beckinsale will not let the red carpet faux-hawk die. Whatevs, it's working with this slick LBD.


Diane Kruger sports a gown that, if anyone wore it as a wedding dress, would be the cause of sadness and confusion to the future daughter who looked at the wedding albums. (Note: a black dress belonging to the groom's ex-girlfriend also has this effect on a young daughter. Not that I would know or anything.


Even by Zooey's usual cutie-pie, mod standards, this is both very cutie-pie and very mod.

[Images via Getty]

• Mayumi Heene has admitted that the entire "Balloon Boy" story was a hoax. According to a recently released search warrant affidavit, "the motive for the fabricated story was to make the Heene family more marketable for future media interest." [Reuters]

• Heene also admitted that she and her husband, Richard "knew all along" that their youngest son, Falcon was hiding, and not in the balloon as they had led authorities to believe. All three children, she says, were instructed to lie. [NYDN]
• You can read the entire affidavit here.[The Coloradoan]
• A computer taken from one of the "Burglar Bunch" members who allegedly broke into Lindsay Lohan's apartment is filled with Google image searches for "Lindsay Lohan Blue Rolex" and "Lindsay Lohan Rolex." [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Paris Hilton visited the LAPD last night and retrieved most of her stolen property; Hilton had lost nearly $2 million in valuables to the ring of thieves targeting starlets' homes. [People]
• Lisa Rinna's former landlord says she owes "$635,083.73 in back rent and damages," on her former retail location, Belle Gray. Rinna, meanwhile, took to her Twitter page to announce that she had "a very different story. Let the games begin!" [E!]
• "It'd be nice to have a six-year-old and say, 'I have this film I made, you might quite like it'. Yeah, definitely that's on my mind."- Wes Anderson on his new film, The Fantastic Mr. Fox. [Guardian]
• Jon Gosselin still hasn't returned the money he withdrew from his joint account with Kate Gosselin. [People]
• "I've had many, many unrequited crushes. I knew this one guy's entire schedule my senior year of high school and would conveniently be outside his classrooms whenever class let out. But I was a goth kid and he was a soccer player, so he wasn't having it. He was just horrified by me."- Christina Hendricks [Advocate]
• Food Network star Sandra Lee says that Angelina Jolie used her "No-Bake Birthday Cake" recipe in August in order to create a birthday cake for her son, Maddox. "She's a very busy, overextended mother," says Lee, "I'm very proud not just that she made my cake but that someone of her stature isn't delegating these [tasks], like her children's birthday, to other people. I'm glad she loves the show and that the kids apparently also watch it too." Please let them get together for an episode! Angelina Jolie making dinners out of stuffing, salad dressing mix, and half a can of Miracle Whip would be the greatest hour of programming ever, no? [People]
• "I look at what happened to Michael Jackson and it's a case of 'there but for the grace of God go I.' Those painkillers! F***!'"-Ozzy Osbourne [DailyMail]
• Justin Timberlake has filed a restraining order against a woman named Karen McNeil, who already served a year in prison for violating several court orders issued to keep her away from Axl Rose [TMZ]
• Boy George says his time in prison was good for him: "I'm the happiest I've ever been." [TheSun]
• When Winona Ryder agreed to a low-budget film The Private Lives of Pippa Lee, she was seemingly unprepared for just how low-budget it would be: "Little did I know I would be in Danbury, Connecticut, without a rental car, living off a highway. I had to rely on Keanu, who had the car he drives in the film, to get me to Starbucks - that's how low-budget it was." [DailyExpress]
• Jennifer Lopez plans to debut her alter-ego character, "Lola" tonight. Hooray? [PageSix]
• Charlize Theron raised $140,000 at a recent charity auction by auctioning off a kiss to a female fan. [DailyExpress]
• "I still don't feel that John's fans are accepting me. I don't know who's really John's fans, and who's really John and Yoko fans. The Beatles fans, some of them really denounced John in a way. So I don't know who's who. So whenever I create something I never think about who's gonna listen to it. But then, I'm getting some beautiful letters. So they like the CD or something. It's really great, but I'm not gonna ask, ‘Are you a Beatles fan?'"-Yoko Ono [TimesOnline]
• "I knew going into Miss USA I was asked to be there because I am controversial and because I am qualified. I look at women in the spotlight every day. I know how a girl can successfully navigate that world."- Perez Hilton [LATimes]
• LaToya Jackson says that Michael's children are still grieving the loss of their father, and though all three are in therapy, Paris seems to be handling things a bit better than her brothers, Prince and Blanket: "Prince just doesn't want to speak about it. He won't even watch the DVDs – he just walks right past the TV. It's too soon, too touching. I do worry about him very much. And Blanket is just a very sad, shy little boy. He cries – he really does cry. It's so painful for him. No one can bring his daddy back and it hurts so much." [Mirror]
• Paul Heyman of ECW says that Rihanna's "Russian Roulette" cover art is a complete rip off of the wrestling organization's cover art for the compilation "ECW: Extreme Music." TheSun]
• Roseanne took to her blog to speak out against her ex-husband Tom Arnold for cracking jokes about the couple's relationship as it relates to the recent David Letterman scandal, as Tom keeps cracking jokes that he slept with his boss, which, according to Roseanne, is not the case: "I never had sex with an employee! Tom was first my boyfriend and then repeatedly asked me to create a job for him on my show, which I did," she writes, later concluding with, "Stop accusing me of breaking laws that I never would break. Having sex with your underlings is not allowed, unless you legally marry them. Otherwise it is creating a hostile work environment, where those who do not have sex with the boss do not get promoted. this is the law! stop setting me up for lawsuits with your careless lies!!! shut the fuck up about me you idiot!" [RoseanneWorld]

• Giorgio Armani might be made Senator for Life (a real position) by the Italian president. The designer would then vote on the national budget, and "beautify" parliamentary proceedings. Armani's reaction to the nomination, and his political leanings, were unknown. [WSJ]

• Pamela Anderson has got to be the driest wit in Hollywood. When the tabloid press asked her to name her style icon, she replied, "Humpty-Dumpty." Pressed on the subject of her perfumes, Malibu and Malibu Night, which will be sold only at drugstores starting this November, the actress said, "That is why I always smell so cheap." Then she pulled up her Vivienne Westwood bedsheet dress — it "came with a million safety pins, and Westwood told me to just pin it and knot it in a bunch of places" — and walked away. [P6]
• Then she wrote a hand-written note to Allure. "I've been offered fragrance contracts like everyone else and their dog (hey, that's that good idea, all natural, of course) but all the elements never came together — the stamp of approval from PETA; the environmental aspects. (I was a bit ahead of my time). But now it works!" And: "I worship drugstores, it's hard to get me out." [Allure]
• Karl Lagerfeld has been immortalized in a 25 cm vinyl doll. The best part? Mini Karl is mute. [DazedDigital]
• The best part about Betsey Johnson's award from the National Arts Club? Her portrait will soon hang among the Gramercy Park institution's other dusty luminaries. We can't decide if this maneuver raises the NAC's stock more than it depresses Johnson's — perhaps O. Aldon James, Jr., will write us a letter of explanation — but we still think it's pretty awesome. [WWD]
• Guiseppe Zanotti is obviously one of those people who pulls a face when posing next to a famous person. In this case, Blake Lively. Oh, isn't he wild and spontaneous! [People]
• Four words: Olsen twin sunglass line. [Elle UK]
• Charlize Theron is collaborating on a t-shirt line for a humanitarian cause. Give and Take Tees is releasing $42 vintage-inspired t-shirts, and half the proceeds will go to Theron's own Outreach Africa Project, which funds a mobile health center for rural South Africa. [People]
• Laura Mulleavy, of Rodarte: "I can think of this outfit we did like our fall '08 collection that was red and black and it was all just hairy, leather jacket and fur. For me, that collection was specifically about Japanese horror films and this idea of these girls coming from the ground and being tied down with twine with the hair dangling in their face, and just being completely just like this sunken girl that maybe got stuck in a well somewhere, and I don't know if that would translate into everyday life as I see it, but I don't think that's necessary. I don't know, maybe I am just creating for, you know, the one character that survives." [DazedDigital]
• Kanye West had been planning to launch a clothing line called Pastelle since even before he gave us the immortal lines, "So go 'head, go nuts, go ape shit/ Specially in my Pastelle or my Bape shit." Pictures from a lookbook shoot for the brand finally hit the Internet yesterday, only for Yeezy to announce he's scotching Pastelle as a brand entirely. It's as dead as his Gap collaboration. But there still may be a Kanye clothing line under his own name. [HighSnobiety]
• The bankrupt Germany fashion house Escada has reportedly attracted 10 different would-be buyers. Perhaps it's not too much to hope for a Christian Lacroix resolution here? [Forbes]
• The Limited is trying to claw its way back to brand relevance. It's starting by opening a pop-up store on Spring St. in SoHo, re-launching the discontinued brands Forenza and Outback Red, and hiring Jodi Arnold — as in MINT Jodi Arnold — as a "partner." Does this mean we'll see Jodi Arnold designs at The Limited prices? C.E.O. Linda Heasley, who test-drives unreleased garments herself, says the company is looking forward to its first profitable year in well over a decade. [WWD]

• Lady Gaga, Gay Activist! She "was the highest-wattage celebrity to attend both the Human Rights Campaign dinner Saturday night and the National Equality March on Sunday." Reporter Dan Zak writes:

"Nearby rally-goers screeched her name. She had marched with the crowds from her hotel after shrugging off security concerns, and had just finished a short speech to an enraptured throng of tens of thousands on the West Lawn. Glittery signs reading 'Gay for Gaga' and 'Lady Gaga {heart} Equality, U Should 2' poked up from the rainbowed masses." "I will never turn my back on my friends," said Lady Gaga, before disappearing from the rally. "Today is not a one-off performance."She also said: "In the music industry there's still a tremendous amount of accommodation of homophobia," she said. "So I'm taking a stand… I'm not going to play one of my songs tonight because tonight is not about me. It's about you." She sang John Lennon's "Imagine," but changed some of the lyrics. [WaPo]

• Miley Cyrus and her sister Brandi ate $70 worth of meat and mac 'n cheese at the Outback Steakhouse in Burbank last week. Miley paid with a $100 bill… and kept the change. Her spokesperson explains: She didn't know she was supposed to tip unless she was eating inside." Pardon? When has that ever been the case? [Rush & Molloy]
• Christina Hendricks married Geoffrey Arend — he was hilarious in 500 Days Of Summer! — at Il Buco restaurant in New York on Sunday. Congrats! [People]
• Jon Gosselin says that he wasn't the only one who took cash out of the joint account; Jon filed papers claiming Kate withdrew over $60,000 from their joint account between July and September 2009. But a source says Kate's transactions were legal; Jon didn't have permission. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin believes that Kate has control of more than one million dollars and that if she doesn't have a job, it's not his fault. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jon Gosselin will light a menorah this year, partly because of gf Hailey Glassman. "This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great… They gave her a free tummy tuck, worth $20 grand." I'm sure I'm not alone here when I say: Oy. [Rush & Molloy]
• Dina Lohan says that Lindsay's brother Michael is on academic scholarship at Ithaca (college)… and "He's also is doing a movie!" This paper reacts with the headline, "Oh no! Not another one!" [The Sun]
• Katie Holmes wants to send Suri to Catholic School, and noted Scientologist Tom Cruise is okay with it. Suri is already enrolled in Catholic Charities Yawkey Centre For Early Education And Learning in Boston, where Tom is filming the movie Wichita. [Daily Mail]
• Angelina Jolie is in talks to replace Charlize Theron in the thriller The Tourist. [JustJared]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: So on. [People]
• Nick Cannon is married to Mariah Carey. He's also a stand-up comic, a rapper, an actor, a D.J., a screenwriter and a television host and the chairman Nickelodeon's TeenNick division. [NY Times]
• At the BET Hip-Hop awards on Saturday, T.I. won, though he is in prison; Jay-Z was honored as MVP of the year; the late DJ AM won "DJ of the Year." Kanye West did not attend. The show airs October 27. [AP]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Kourtney Kardashian is expecting a baby boy. [NY Daily News]
• Mad Men's John Slattery doesn't want a garbage trucks garage in his New York neighborhood. [AP]
• "Fergie is Condoleezza Rice - if Condi knew how to execute a booty shake…" claims this profile of the singer, in which she talks about ecstasy; crystal meth ("it ruins you"); dating Mexican gang members and being a child star. The reporter also writes: "There is some speculation that Fergie is older than she lets on (seems unlikely; she grew up on TV), as her unquestionably sexy features can look a touch - how can I put this? - ravaged." [Times Of London]
• Kelly Bensimon was doing man-on-the-street interviews for Gotham magazine yesterday… and her efforts were taped for Real Housewives. [NY Post]
• Debi Mazar helped Maksim Chmerkovskiy get over ex-fiancée Karina Smirnoff with home cooked meals. Heartache doesn't mean stomachache. [People]
• Remember when Michael Jackson played a character on The Simpsons? The folks of The Simpsons were freaked out by him. [NY Post]
• Speaking of Michael Jackson, a snippet of his song "This Is It" has hit the interwebs; listen at the link. [TMZ]
• By the by the illuminated white glove Michael Jackson wore on his 1984 Victory tour sold for almost $70, 000 at auction. [The Sun]
• Katherine Jackson will not inherit 40% of her son's estate. [Carey Hart are HOT in this photo shoot for his tattoo shop's clothing line. [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse "looked frail and unsteady" singing backup for her goddaughter on the TV show Strictly Come Dancing. [Mirror]
• Couples Retreat raked in $35 million at the box office; this column suggests the film "offers a lesson in moviegoing: add one beautiful location to a comedy that is not very funny, add to it actors who aren't really very famous, and you can make a movie that opens to reviews that aren't very good, yet still make cash hand over fist." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Saturday Night Live's Bill Hader has a new baby and says of fatherhood: "I think it's going to be awesome." [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
• In a poll of 100 New Yorkers, 26 women and 27 men think David Letterman is a "hypocrite for making jokes about the affairs of Bill Clinton and other politicians." 22 women and 31 men have worked at a place where the boss was having an affair with an underling. [NY Mag]
• Singer Stephen Gately, of Irish group Boyzone died Saturday while vacationing on the Spanish island of Majorca. [CNN]
• Stephen Gately may have chocked on his own vomit after a "drinking session." [Daily Mail]
• "Matt Lucas will not return to his stage role following the death of his ex-partner, it has been announced." [The Star]
• Mickey Rourke talks about using the word "faggot." Sorta. [TMZ]
• Dannii Minogue was judging X Factor when this guy Danyl Johnson sang "And I'm Telling You" from Dreamgirls. Danni insinuated that he was gay by telling him he didn't need to change the gender references in the song. Simon Cowell was pissed about that. [Daily Mail]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger is on Twitter now, posting pictures of the happy face in his morning oatmeal and so on. [NY Post]
• Sigourney Weaver is trying to promote a Gorilla Rehabilitation and Conservation Education, (GRACE) in the Congo, which will rescue and rehabilitate orphaned gorillas, saying: "These little gorillas just steal your heart. They're very sensitive creatures. So it's no surprise that this is a very demanding and ambitious project, the GRACE Center, but we need it. We have to have it." [AP]
• "Pierce Brosnan almost turned down the chance to star in his upcoming flick, The Greatest, about two parents struggling to move on after their son dies in a car accident — because his own son Sean survived a similar crash in 2000. "When I first got the script, I looked it over and put it under my bed for a week," he says. "I eventually decided to do it because I liked it, but it was hard to go to those deeper places in my heart." [Gatecrasher]
• Director Mike Nichols has been selected to receive the American Film Institute's 38th AFI Life Achievement Award. Nichols won an Oscar for directing The Graduate; was nominated for a best picture award as a producer for The Remains of the Day and his credits include Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Catch-22, Carnal Knowledge, Silkwood, Working Girl, Primary Colors, Angels in America, Closer and Charlie Wilson's War. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Horn Lake, Mississippi's Circle G Ranch — also known as the Elvis Ranch, is up for sale, if you have $6.5 million. [UPI]
• High-brow PBS soap opera Upstairs Downstairs is being remade. [NY Post]
• Blind item! "What Oscar-winning actress and her Oscar-winning husband are said to be close to splitting? She's telling friends, 'We've grown apart.'" [Rush & Molloy]
• "I get why chicks dig him. He's extremely kind, incredibly intelligent, thoughtful, creative and respectful. I don't discuss my love life because it's always misinterpreted or put under the microscope. It's especially annoying when you're dating someone else who's well-known, which is why I normally would never go out with a famous guy. Let's put it this way… I'd be flattered if someone hit on me tonight, but I really can't say if I'm available or not." — Emmy Rossum on Adam Duritz. She also says: "I used to be an artsy, quiet, kind of chubby kid — which no one believes. But now I'm really comfortable with my body and my sexuality. I can be naked with the lights on." [People]00
• "My hair has never been that great. I had a Jheri curl at one point in my life. I had to go to rehab and confess, 'I'm Chris, I have a curl.' But, I don't think men are into their hair that much. Guys are concentrating on other things. When I was younger, I had a complex, and probably still do, about just not being buff and big. I think that's what guys are into. There are some right here in Hollywood, men on television right now, with fake pecs and stuff." — Chris Rock made Good Hair, but he doesn't think about his own that much. [Parade]
• "I think if she were playing something that was going to be really hard for her psychologically or damaging, I'd be more concerned, but she had a really good time with the sex thing, She plays a woman who, as far as I can tell, is really in charge of her life and is not a victim. So it sounded to me like it would be a blast. I've already seen little bits and pieces of some of the nudity and she looks beautiful. If you have it, why not?" — Susan Sarandon, on her daughter playing a student by day and a stripper by night in Californication. [Gatecrasher]
• "I've been corresponding with Anya Camilleri [the director] and we've been looking at historical paintings where the concept 'cougar' was depicted to try and see where it came from. I think 'cougar' is a way to make it appear as women are looking at their men as prey, and gaining something from it. Like when men are enhancing their own virility by going out with younger women. Why is there not a term for older men with younger women? I don't think Mrs. Robinson was a cougar — I think she was a woman having a breakdown, and it was played wonderfully." — Sharon Stone, who will play a woman who hires a much-younger gigolo in upcoming flick Satisfaction. [Gatecrasher]
• "I had dairy a few weeks ago by accident and I knew because the next day I was all phlegmy. And I was farting and it was gross. And then I knew. It was dairy. Plus it makes you fat. Instantly. [There] was a time in my life where I was not interested in health at all; health was a dirty word. And when I look at pictures now, I see that I looked tired and puffy and stressed." — Alicia Silverstone, whom this paper calls "the most non-annoying vegan on the planet." [NY Post]
• "I guess everyone has their wild side, and mine was halfway between being really shy and kind of a goofy spazoid. I never bit anyone, like Max, but I slapped a lot of butts. I don't know if you've seen kids do that-butt-slapping. Like, slapping the butts of my grandparents and babysitters. When I wasn't shy, I overcompensated." — Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, who did the soundtrack for Where the Wild Things Are. [NY Mag]
• "In an interview, Lars said he thought he reminded me of my father… and now, of course, I could make that link. He's very sincere with his questions and fears. He's a real artist in that way. He never censors himself... It was a weird relationship. The moments when it was just the two of us were pretty awkward… [Still] I had the feeling that he was inside me. He understood every blink, every detail. I felt as if I were portraying him, even though we were dealing with female sexuality. The anxiety and fear in my character was pretty much him." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on Antichrist director Lars von Trier, whom this article notes has been called "Misanthrope. Misogynist. Pornographer. Xenophobe. Enfant terrible. Child." [BlackBook]
• "President Obama seems very authentic… I wonder if there's a white man inside of him." — Lars von Trier. [BlackBook]

• Director Roman Polanski has been arrested by Swiss police, at the request of the United States, after he tried to enter Switzerland to attend the Zurich Film Festival, where a tribute to his work is taking place. [CNN]

• The United States has had an outstanding warrant for Polanski's arrest since 1978; after being accused of drugging and raping a 13-year-old girl, Polanski pled guilty to one count of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor but fled the country before a judge could sentence him. [CNN]
• According to the Associated Press, the Swiss Ministry released a statement noting that "U.S. authorities have sought the arrest of the 76-year-old around the world since 2005," and that the Swiss would now wait for the U.S. to formally request extradition. [MSNBC]
• Jaime Pressly married lawyer Simran Singh in Malibu yesterday. Pressly split from her previous fiance, Eric Cubiche, last November. [People]
• Gossip Girl's Kelly Rutherford says she's "going through a challenging time" during her divorce from her estranged husband, Daniel Giersch , whom she had to obtain a restraining order against. Her mom is helping her feel better, she says: "She sent me that Christina Aguilera song "Stronger" and that's when I'm laughing and crying at the same time, like, 'Mom, I love you!'" [People]
• "I have a tumultuous relationship with my mother, so obviously that story had a deep emotional interest to me — about women who are empowered and can be athletic and capable and kick ass out on the track and be their own heroes, and I think finding your tribe is everything. I certainly found it with my company. Every aspect of this story including first love and rite of passage, and being able to rock out in the car with your best friend, these are all themes that are crucial to my life. I was able to tell my story."- Drew Barrymore on her directorial debut, Whip It [LA Times]
• Tawny Kitaen, who just did a stint on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, has been arrested for DUI in California. [AP]
• An essay written by a young Paul McCartney over 50 years ago has recently been discovered at Liverpool's Central Library—McCartney had won an essay contest celebrating Queen Elizabeth II's coronation. [BBC]
• "The magazine was even prepared to pay me $500,000 to pose with my clothes on. I didn't want Playboy on my resume at the age of 22. If they ask me when I'm 40 I'll probably say yes."- Nelly Furtado on being asked to pose for Playboy [DailyMail]
• Mashonda, the wife of producer Swizz Beatz has accused Alicia Keys of breaking up her marriage and is posting about it on her Twitter page: "If you are reading this Alicia, let me start by saying, you know what you did. You know the role you played and you know how you contributed to the ending of my marriage. You know that I asked you to step back and let me handle my family issues. Issues that you helped to create." [ONTD]
• Clive Owen says his daughters aren't terribly impressed by his fame: ""My days at home consist of my girls rolling their eyes at me. My oldest one's gotten into the habit of going ‘I wish they could see what you're really like.'" [ONTD]
• Edward Norton plans to run in the New York City Marathon on a team including three Maasai warriors in order to raise money for the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust. [RunnersWorld]
• Charlize Theron says she has obsessive-compulsive disorder and can't sleep unless her cabinets are tidy: "I will literally lie in bed and not be able to sleep because I'll be like, "I think I saw something in that cabinet that just shouldn't be there." [DailyMail]
• Bruce Jenner was surprised when he heard his daughter, Khloe Kardashian was about to get married: "Honestly I thought it was a joke. Then I was on the driving range later that day and someone came up to me and said, 'Congratulations, I hear your daughter is getting married.' Then it was on the news that night and I thought, maybe there is something to this." [People]
• Jenner also says that Khloe and Lamar Odom are marrying today,only one month after they met, "is first they want to, and second Lamar starts camp next week and Khloe has a million things going on. If they're gonna do it, they want to do it now." Also: Khloe is "definitely not pregnant." [E!]
• Meanwhile, Khloe is already on the hunt for a new mansion to live in. [TMZ]
• And she can probably afford it, considering the Kardashian sisters have earned over one million dollars over the past few months, thanks to their high profile weddings and pregnancies. [PageSix]
• News anchor Amy Robach is engaged to marry Melrose Place's Andrew Shue. [PageSix]
• All the lies I tell are white lies. I tell a lie every day, it's the same lie. In answer to the 'Can you come to my wedding/christening?' question, I say: 'I can't, I am busy.' What I wouldn't say is: 'No, it will be a boring day, I would rather sit at home in my pants getting drunk.' That would be a terrible truth."-Ricky Gervais [TheSun]
• "It's one of those situations where she's young, they're both young. It was either a situation where she can grow. … There's a contention of young people who are going through the same things, and no one hears their voice. She can be their hero. Or she can choose not to grow from this."-Jay-Z on Rhianna and Chris Brown [UPI]
• Angelina Jolie says she doesn't read the tabloid reports on her life: ""I don't ask for all this tabloid attention so I never read what they write about us. First I see myself as a mother - that's my priority," she says, "I have a family to take care of, I don't even go out that much, I travel and do a film and that's about it so I don't understand why people want to know more about our lives." [ShowbizSpy]
• James Michael Tyler, who played Gunther on Friends, says that a Friends reunion movie is "definitely on." [ShowbizSpy]
• "My first boyfriend's mother was in wardrobe and I was her assistant. The first film I worked on was Mommie Dearest. I used to measure people nipple to nipple. The first line I heard from Miss Dunaway was: ‘Who is that fat girl in my eyeline?' I was terrified. Funnily enough, when I became a movie star for five seconds [in The People vs Larry Flynt, for which she won critical acclaim], Sharon Stone called me and said, ‘Welcome to the industry. When I got here, Miss Dunaway welcomed me.' And I was like, ‘Miss Dunaway has welcomed me already.'" -Courtney Love [TimesOnline]

• Courtney Love "went nuts" when a guest at a party opened an unlocked bathroom and saw her on the toilet with her skirt around her ankles.

Apparently she launched herself at the dude, and though people tried to calm her down, a security guy told the man: "It's best you get away as fast as possible." [Page Six]

• Backstage at the Emmys, Paramedics were called for Kristin Chenoweth, who complained of a migraine headache and then said she couldn't open her eyes. [Access Hollywood]
• More backstage Emmys drama: A fight between Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff got "kind of loud." Apparently they were "screaming at each other"after he said she took too long in hair and makeup. [E!]
• Mad Men and 30 Rock were big winners at the Emmys last night. [NY Daily News]
• Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs won the weekend box office; Jennifer Aniston's Love Happens came in fourth — one of her worst openings in years — and Jennifer's Body placed fifth. [Ny Daily News]
• "Mr. T's Chance of Meatballs character fits him to a T." [USA Today]
• Kate Gosselin taped her Mom Logic TV show pilot over the weekend, and even though guests Mel B and Christie Brinkley were nixed, a source says the taping "went extremely well" and "Kate did great." [Radar]
• Congrats! Zooey Deschanel married Death Cab For Cutie singer Ben Gibbard Saturday night near Seattle. [People]
• Did you know that Susan Sarandon has been a member of a Ping-Pong society for years? [NY Magazine]
• From a profile on Madonna: "Scented Christian Dior candles fill the air in a space so dimly lit, it seems both slightly theatrical and quasi-religious. A huge telephone with multiple extensions bears labels such as M study, M dressing room, M bathroom, Laundry, Music Room, Kitchen, Mews." And: "A lot of people are just really confused by me… They don't know what to think of me, so they try to compartmentalize me or diminish me. Maybe they just feel unsafe. But any time you have an overtly emotional or irrational, negative reaction to something, you're fearing something that it's bringing up in you." [Times Of London]
• Paula Abdul almost refused to co-present with Kathy Griffin at the VH1 Divas concert because of all the insulting jokes Kathy had made. [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse was leaving a nightclub recently when a passerby shouted "Oi Amy, where's your crack pipe?" [The Sun]
• Heidi Klum and Seal can't decide on a name for the baby girl they are expecting. Seal says: "It has been the topic of debate for the last month. We can't quite figure it out. I'm a firm believer that she will pop out and will tell us what she wants to be called." [Mirror]
• Charlize Theron's nude scene in The Burning Plain — in which she smokes a cigarette while standing at a window in full view of passersby in Portland, OR — was shot at 6 a.m. to avoid paparazzi. [Page Six]
• Oprah had a block party in Chicago and paid more than $54,000 for city services. [Ny Post]
• Joy Behar would love to get Sarah Palin on her new show on HLN and talk to her about the "real America." "It's insulting to men like my father, who fought in World War II, whom she doesn't think are real Americans because we don't agree with her." Joy also says: "Look, it's not that I'm contentious; I'm uncompromising. I'm friendly, but I can't let things go unchallenged. And I intend to give my opinions quite profusely. I might even have to interrupt myself." [New York Magazine]
• New couple? Kid Cudi and Amanda Bynes??? [Gatecrasher]
• They're saying Mischa Barton's a mess in the morning and needs someone to "fix" her coffee, but who isn't and who doesn't? [Page Six]
• So what is up with that Taylor Momsen record contract that allows her singing on Gossip Girl and the "Runaways Project"? She's not in the Runaways movie! Was she was supposed to get Dakota Fanning's part? Or does she have a secret cameo? [TMZ]
• Beth Ditto has banned her girlfriend from touring with her: "[It's] not because I don't think she can handle it, but because that's my life. Say what you want about me. Say it to my face, say it behind my back, write it on the fucking bathroom mirror, I don't care. But do not talk about the people I love. I will lose my mind." [NME]
• An ambulance was called to David Hasselhoff's house yesterday; apparently his 17-year-old daughter, who was home with him, called her mother, saying that David was extremely drunk. A friend of Pamela's called 911. [TMZ, TMZ]
• January Jones, aka Mad Men's Betty Draper, has purchased a lovely home in the Los Feliz neighborhood of L.A., and you can see the pix at the link. [The Real Estalker]
• The Guinness World Records board has refused to let the White Stripes into their record book for playing a one-note concert, due to insufficient interest. Twelve hundred people showed up to a gig in Canada where Jack White played an E. [Mirror]
• Stephen Moyer on his engagement to Anna Paquin: "It was very intimate and quite surprising for her, I think, and we were by ourselves at dinner in Hawaii and...I surprised her. But it was something that surprised me probably more than it surprised her." He also says: "She is very funny and very frank and very direct and beautiful… She doesn't take any of my nonsense." [E!]
• David Arquette and Ben Harper have a clothing line called Propr, and Arquette says: ""We love the idea of chivalry and going in an old-school barber… There's a quality that's in the finer details, like they really thought it out a step further." More from "A Night Out" with the duo at the link. [NY Times]
• Ryan O'Neal visited Farrah Fawcett's grave after their son, Redmond, was ordered to leave jail and go to rehab for a year. [Daily Mail, USA Today]
• Nicole's sister Antonia Kidman is engaged to Singapore-based banker Craig Marran. [News.com.au]
• Terry Gilliam got Johnny Depp to tango for The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus even though Johnny allegedly said "Men don't dance." [Mirror]
• Oy: Sacha Baron Cohen will play an Israeli tour guide on The Simpsons. [UPI]
• From a piece on John Malkovich's new film, Disgrace, set in post-apartheid South Africa: "[Malkovich's character] Lurie appears the virtual embodiment of white male arrogance, an English professor who views himself through the prism of Romantic poetry and who pursues an exploitive, obsessive affair with a much younger, mixed-race student. You can't say that he rapes her, but the issue of consent between an inexperienced young woman and a practiced seducer — one with direct power over her academic future — is complicated, to say the least." [Salon]
• Will Diddy switch record labels? [Page Six]
• Scott Weiland had a seizure on a plane while en route from Los Angeles to Florida, causing the plane to land in Dallas-Fort Worth; he is "doing great" now. [E!]
• Larry King hates frivolous lawsuits. [TMZ]
• John Travolta may be a witness at the trial for two people accused of trying to extort $25 million from him after his son died in the Bahamas. [AP]
• John Travolta says if he is called to testify, he will do so. [ET]
• Sources say John Travolta's testimony will be dramatic and emotional. [TMZ]
• Ozzy Osbourne's new memoir describes appearing on the MTV show The Osbournes as "terrifying" and like being "strapped to a rocket and being blasted through the stratosphere at warp factor ten." [Mirror]
• Leonard Cohen is recovering after collapsing on stage during a show in Spain; he reportedly had food poisoning. [UPI]
• James Blunt is accusing internet service providers of "handling stolen goods" by allowing file sharing and illegal downloads. [Telegraph]
• Anoushka Shankar, Ravi Shankar's daughter, had been the victim of a blackmail plot; an arrest has been made. [Independent]
• District 9 is not welcome in Nigeria. [NY Post]
• "Frustrated cops probing Jordan's claim to have been raped by a celebrity said yesterday they could do no more unless she co-operates." [The Sun]
• "You're not going to be successful. You're not going to be millionaires (with the exception of MAYBE Kris and Adam). No one will care about you. Those fans who've been asking for your autograph all tour long - 98 percent of them don't give a flying poo about you once next season of Idol starts. In other words, your days of being a star are over. But that's all right - so are mine… The music business, for the most part, will treat you like an outsider… You are just a game show contestant who still needs to prove why you should be here. Move to a music city. L.A., New York or Nashville Leave home and live WAY below your means." — Chris Sligh, former American Idol contestant, to other Idol singers, on his blog. [NY Post]
• "I was never in the high, high fashion industry. I was never one of those superskinny, supertall waif girls who goes from show to show. When you do more commercial things, your weight is allowed to fluctuate a bit. Not every inch counts. It's hard for the girls. How old are they? Fifteen, 16? Some girls are naturally thin and can eat whatever they want. When I was 15, 16, there was not one ounce of fat on me, but some other girls have to work hard to stay like that. But the rules are not made by the models. To be part of this, they have to be the size the designer wants them to be. I'm not that skinny, and I never was, but I can pretty much eat whatever I want." — Heidi Klum. [Page Six Magazine]
• "My dream was always to work in a candy store. It was because of my obsession with candy; I don't have it any more, now that my teeth are all rotten. I did go to a university for a year, as shocking as that might sound to people, and there was a candy shop that I used to go to all the time, an old-fashioned one where all the candy was in these big glass jars. I used to go in there and look at all the candy and think, ‘God, it would be really cool to work in here; I could have candy whenever I wanted.' So I did want the keys to the candy store, but I had different keys." —Madonna. [Times of London]
• "At first, I didn't know whether I'd be healthy enough to film a full season of an action-packed drama series. But soon I realized there was nothing I wanted to do more. We got in touch with the network to let them know about my diagnosis and I sent this message: 'Don't count me out. I can do this.' All I could think was: 'If I'm going out, I'd rather go out on a high note, doing quality work I believe in.'" — From Patrick Swayze's memoir, on doing The Beast with a cancer diagnosis. [Daily Mail]
• "We need to be the example of respect, of tolerance, and just how to be civil, can we do that? Even though I didn't win the crown that night I know that the Lord has so much of a bigger crown in heaven for me. I never asked to be thrown into politics… but you know what, I'm proud of the stance that I took and I'm glad that God upheld me for such a time as this." — Carrie Prejean. [NY Daily News]
• "Forget about playing Tony Blair. When I told her I was definitely playing vampire Aro in Twilight, she cried. She was so overwhelmed and annoyed that I muscled in on something that was hers. She's already told me she'll be my date for the premiere." — Michael Sheen's 10-year-old daughter, Lily is excited about his career for once. [Page Six]

[New York, September 16. Image via WENN.]

• Lindsay Lohan thew a fit at the G-Star runway show:

She arrived with sister Ali in tow, wouldn't pose for photos and didn't like her seats. So, naturally, she threw the seating cards for Juliette Lewis, Christian Siriano, and Taylor Momsen on the floor. When event producers tried to approach her, she sniped, "Don't fucking touch me," and rolled her eyes. Of course, I found pix of her posing so grain of salt. [Page Six]

• Mischa Barton was at the G-star after party, drunk and saying "Like, I'm with the deejay. I totally know the deejay. I'm here for the deejay." [Page Six]
• Kanye West and Lady Gaga were supposed to start a Fame Kills tour later this fall, but it looks like Kanye may have been serious about taking some time off: Tour date listings have been removed from the Ticketmaster website. [LA Times]
• Pink has a separated shoulder! "It hurts," she says. She couldn't do any of the aerial parts of her trapeze-oriented show in Seattle on Tuesday night, but won't cancel tour dates. [People]
• Katie Holmes took Suri to Beyoncé's concert in Australia on Tuesday night, and Suri wore "industrial earmuffs." [News.com.au]
• Jennifer Lopez was spotted at the White House "with an entourage bigger than President Obama's Secret Service detail." [NY Daily News]
• Chris Brown's community service has begun; click for a pic of him in an orange vest. He doesn't seem too… contrite; he Tweeted, "check out my outfit." [Ny Daily News]
• Why haven't we seen Mo'Nique promoting new film Precious? She will be on the Today show this morning, but she wasn't at the Toronto Film festival (Mariah Carey, Gabby Sidibe, Sherri Shephard, and Paula Patton were there) and rumors are that she wants to be paid for appearances. A studio spokesperson says it isn't true. [Showbiz 411]
• Charlize Threron is naked in the opening scene of her new film, The Burning Plain but says: "I'm not some exhibitionist. I think people think I just love walking around naked. When you start making it about yourself, you stand in the way of doing your job. I have to sit in an editing room with [director] Guillermo Arriaga and a bunch of execs, and if I had to sit there and think about myself and these men watching me, I think that would make me insecure. I'm just like every other girl out there. I would cringe." And: "There was a time in my life where I understood actors who said they don't like watching themselves. But when I made the mental switch that I was not watching myself and watching an actual character, that was the day I actually could look at things from a distance." [USA Today]
• "The uncle Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher helped put behind bars for molesting two girls has died in prison." [Daily Express]
• Sean Penn and beyond foxy Sports Illustrated model Jessica White: "Together all the time." [NY Daily News]
• Jason Schwartzman's new HBO show, Bored To Death, his most high-profile roles ever. Although he also loves books and music, acting gives him focus: "When I all of sudden became a part of Rushmore, it was like a giant acupuncture needle or something. It just put everything in line for me. It was like going to the emotional chiropractor. I was so disjointed as a teenager, from being unpopular or from being not the guy that girls liked - just feeling like an outsider, just being a dork." [AP]
• Nicole Kidman will star in The Danish Girl, about the first man to undergo a sex-change operation in 1931. I know it's early but I have to say that I'm sort of scared about the medical technology back then and its proximity to genitalia. [NY Daily News]
• Bruce Willis and wife: Moving into L.A.'s new Carlyle Residences, where apartments go for $2.9-$15 million. The new pad has a private wine cellar and elevator. [E!]
• Rod Stewart's son Sean was a riding in a $200,000 Bentley on Sunset Boulevard in L.A. when his friend wrecked the car. Sean was renting it from Beverly Hills Rent-A-Car for $2,500 a day. [TMZ]
• Jasmine Guy: Deep in debt, thanks to a divorce. In related news, she has joined the cast of the new CW show Vampire Diaries as the GRANDMOTHER of one of the characters. A different world, indeed. [TMZ, Buddy TV]
• Director Jane Campion got an admiring letter from Quentin Tarantino about her latest effort, Bright Star. "It was a love letter, really, about the film," she says. "I am really touched. He is one of my biggest heroes of the current generation, I think he is a genius so it was surprising." Asked about what it takes to make movies likes hers, Campion said with a smile: "I am not very submissive." [Reuters]
• Joe Francis tried to crash a party being thrown by Frankie Delgado but was thrown out, mostly because Frankie is bff with Brody Jenner and Brody and Joe had a scuffle a couple of weeks ago. Related: I don't care about any of these people. [E!]
• "Fuming Barbra Streisand fans claim she rigged a 'cute pet competition.' so one of her friends could win priceless tickets to her upcoming Village Vanguard show." [Page Six]
• Burt Reynolds, who just went into rehab, is already out, it seems. [Reuters, Mirror]
• Jon Bon Jovi totally understands why former members of Nirvana are upset about Kurt Cobain's character in Guitar Hero 5 being able to play songs by other bands in the game. "I don't know that I would have wanted it either. To hear someone else's voice coming out of a cartoon version of me? I don't know. It sounds a little forced." [BBC News]
• "Paul McCartney topped a poll of Americans' favorite Beatles, but nearly a quarter of those surveyed said they didn't like the British rock group." [Reuters]
• Katie "Jordan" Price named her celebrity rapist on camera but "terrified" lawyers banned his identity from being broadcast. [The Sun]
• Q. After you dropped out of school at 16, you were a drummer in a punk rock band. What was that like? "It was a wild time. It involved a lot of drinking and fighting, but I'm not sure if I was being a punk rocker or just Scottish." — Craig Ferguson. [USA Today]
• "She looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong! It proves the point that you can judge a person by the company they keep- or don't keep. "It's painfully apparent that Jesus may be able to turn water into wine, but your basic blow dryer eludes him." — Madonna's brother, Christopher Ciccone, on his sister's look at the VMAs. [E!]
• Q. Did you really write the book's first chapter on your iPhone? "I actually did. I was amazed it had this little keyboard in it. I'm a techno-moron and it had this keyboard that spellchecked as you wrote. It was a good way to start writing the novel because I wasn't taking it seriously, I was just checking out my phone. The rest I wrote by hand." — Nick Cave on his second novel, The Death of Bunny Munro. [Time]
• "It's always so hard for me to describe a film I'm in, as it's so subjective. It's about a lot of different people living in Paris, and a mix of many sides of life, not all happy ones. If you don't go to the bottom, you don't know what joy is, and to explore life you have to plunge head first and take risks. And the way we're brought up with this whole view of life as black and white, good and bad, is completely false, because in life everything is transformable, and something bad can actually be very good, and vice versa. So it's about all those ideas." — Juliette Binoche on her new film, Paris. [Reuters]
• "Yeah. But I don't want to elaborate. I would never call myself a cutter. Girls go through different phases when they're growing up, when they're miserable and do different things, whether it's an eating disorder or they dabble in cutting… I never think I'm worthy of anything... I have a sick feeling of being mocked all the time. I have a lot of self-loathing." — Megan Fox to Rolling Stone, when asked if she had ever cut herself. [NY Daily News]
• "I made my wife appreciate it. She was a good sport. I paraded around. I loved my body. I walked around, danced — dancing with a belly like that was fun. My stepdaughter loved it, too. She kept poking me in the stomach, laughing." — Matt Damon on gaining 30 pounds for The Informant!. [USA Today]
• "Jennifer is one of the coolest women I've ever met. She's so smart." — Gerard Butler on Ms. Aniston. [MSNBC Scoop via Us Weekly]

[Queens, September 13. Image via INF]

Alexandra Richards has the insolent, steely-eyed stare of rock royalty down.


I'm sure Real Houswife Jill Zarin's panels are meant to be contouring and mod - but the unfortunate effect is that of sweat stains.


Tinsley Mortimer models two major trends - graphic, 90s-style florals and cage booties - to hideous effect.


Iman is constitutionally incapable of not looking chic, but slick black never hurts.


Snowden Jones' tiered raincoat is a twist on the classic, I suppose. It reminds me of the many-caped greatcoats dandies and corinthians are always sporting in Georgette Heyer novels.


If your grandchildren ask what people were wearing in Fall '09, sadly you can show them this picture of Dani Stahl.


Lizzie Tische is, apparently, a fan of Cubism.


On the one hand, Kim Kassle's dress and coat have a mod vibe. On the other, they look like a Formula 1 kit.


Lauren Rae Levy applies Coco Chanel's precepts about pearls and the mixing of jewelry - if no others.


Eleni Lewandowki, Ed Kavishe, and Kathie Peech give a good portrait of last night's scene.


Not exactly digging on Charlize Theron's slightly cheesy gown, but yes, she looks bombshell-glam.


Anna Wintour obviously has somewhere else to be: far too busy to remove her coat.

[Images via Getty]

• Their movie's finished, so Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler went back to L.A. and had a "quiet dinner" on Wednesday. A source says:

They "appeared incredibly affectionate with one another" and were "kissing, hugging and leaning in to talk to each other for over two hours. But! They left separately and drove off in different directions. [Page Six]

• Victoria Beckham, who had been accused of leaving Medieval Times without leaving a tip, has sent a "generous gratuity" to her server, apologized for the mix-up, and all is well. [TMZ]
• More mixed feelings about Ellen on American Idol. [E!]
• Paula Abdul Tweeted: "I think Ellen will b a gr8 judge on Idol. She is wildly funny, talented and I wish her the best of luck!" [People]
• Oh Lord: Record labels are suing The Ellen DeGeneres Show, claiming that thousands of songs were played without permission. Boo, WTF, srsly? [Variety]
• In the Tila Tequila case, the San Diego County Sheriff's Department has handed off its evidence to the D.A,, and the D.A. has the power to file or reject charges against Shawne Merriman. Meanwhile, TT Tweeted: "A real man is able to apologize. A real woman is able to forgive and accept the apology......." [E!]
• Tila appears to have bruises all over her arms. [ONTD]
• This report asks, "Did a spurned request for a foursome lead to the fight between Shawne Merriman and bisexual girlfriend Tila Tequila?" The gist of it is that she walked in on him with two women, he asked her to join them, she got pissed and threatened to have sex with one of his friends; he choked her and threw her to the ground. [Page Six]
• Reports that Uma Thurman would be married at Kensington Palace in London: Wrong. [Daily Express]
• Picture this: Kanye West taking his first spinning class. FEEL THE BURN!!!1!! [Page Six]
• Either Stuart Townsend wears skirts or Charlize Theron likes to think he does. [NY Mag]
• If Penelope Cruz is pregnant, she's not saying. [Mirror]
• Looking for a job? Justin Timberlake is in search of an "Executive Vice President of Big Ideas" for his 901 Silver Tequila brand. The position comes with a signing bonus of $25,000. [Page Six]
• Courtney Love, Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl are not happy that players can unlock the Kurt Cobain character in Guitar Hero 5 and make him play songs by other artists like Bon Jovi and Bush. Novoselic and Grohl released a statement which read: . "It's hard to watch an image of Kurt pantomiming other artists' music alongside cartoon characters. Kurt Cobain wrote songs that hold a lot of meaning to people all over the world. We feel he deserves better." Courtney's Twitter feed contains similar outrage, but as this column notes: "we warn that the messages contain excessive profanity and demonstrate very poor grammar." [LA Times]
• Fashion's Big NIght Out saw Mary-Kate Olsen bartending at Bergdorf; Rihanna doing a five-minute lap around Intermix; and Ungaro's "artistic adviser," Lindsay Lohan, picking out a leather jacket at the store - then wearing it out the door after salesgirls ripped the tags off. [Gatecrasher]
• David Cross's new memoir, I Drink For A Reason, has an "amazing" author bio, which announces that he is "currently fucking Amber Tamblyn" and features a photo of her father, Russ Tamblyn. Cross says: "I cleared it with her, of course. She has an amazing, great sense of humor. She told her dad and her parents are super cool. Her dad laughed even harder than we did… So now we have to, like, stay together for a while." [NY Mag]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: A Tinsley Mortimer reality show is in the works. [Page Six]
• Dancing With The Stars' Karina Smirnoff on her breakup with Maksim Chmerkovsky: "It comes with the territory that everything is in the public eye, but again, it is a private matter, it is a private relationship, and it should totally stay private." [ET]
• Ghostface Killah is dedicating some tracks on his new album to Natalie Portman. "I read in some interview she did in something called Interview magazine that she likes obscene rap music," Killah says. "When I read that, it was, like, 'Oh, shit, she would love the shit I got right here on this album!' It was wild, 'cause I remember her as the little girl in The Professional, and now she's all about the wild shit." Killah added, "Yo, if you see her, give her my number. Tell her we gotta make some music together." [Page Six]
• Isabella Rossellini's Green Porno is a web sensation! [AP]
• The Michael Jackson tribute concert that was supposed to be in Vienna has been canceled. A new event will take place in London next year. [AP, Reuters]
• Maura Tierney has left the NBC show Parenthood, because of her ongoing treatments for breast cancer. [Variety]
• A woman went to see Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig on Broadway in A steady Rain and says: "They were great, but we could have done with more nudity." [NY Daily News]
• As you may recall, Jerry Seinfeld's wife, Jessica Seinfeld, wrote a cookbook called Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food. Missy Chase Lapine wrote a book called The Sneaky Chef: Simple Strategies for Hiding Healthy Foods in Kids' Favorite Meals, and accused Seinfeld of copying her. A judge has thrown out the lawsuit and Seinfeld's lawyer says: "Jessica did not copy anything from anyone and created her best-selling cookbook in her own kitchen from her own experiences." Case closed. [USA Today]
• LaToya Jackson owes $745,670.27 on her "swanky" condo in Las Vegas, and could lose her home unless she comes up with the cash by the end of the month. [TMZ]
• Yee-haw: "Josh Hartnett has signed on to star in Gunslinger a revenge-driven tale set in the near future in the snowy wasteland of a post-apocalyptic America." [Variety]
• Fran Drescher is in talks with Fox News; she wants her own talk show. She's A Democrat, but says: "A lot of my fans watch Fox News." [US News & World Report]
• "I enjoy teaching. There is no stress. The students are great. Making movies is a nightmare. It's all about time management and stamping out brush fires. With this one, I'm just lucky I got it made and wasn't sued. I guess that means it's a success." — Todd Solondz, on his quasi-sequel to Happiness, Life during Wartime. [Guardian]
• "To have him pass away, I'm sure the term has been used before but you could actually feel a light go out.... All of a sudden, I had a responsibility [with] the only movie adaptation, and that's something I never wanted. His work will always be, and I mean it with all due respect to the movie and the cast, his work will always be better than the movie could have been. The fear was that this project that had been such a passion project now has a responsibility." — John Krasinski, on directing a film based on the short-story collection Brief Interviews With Hideous Men, by the late David Foster Wallace. [WSJ]
• "When I first read the script, I said, 'I know why they are calling me to do this — because they need a hunk to justifying why this woman is with him.'" — Antonio Banderas, on his role in the film The Other Man, which stars Laura Linney. [LA Times]

A taste of what's on the line: a "bawdy" Charlize Theron calling some adoring fans "lesbians" (she's such a card!). A fall fashion preview with Natalia Vodianova as a bizarre hybrid of Little Red Riding Hood and Granny (why the grey hair?). And who needs fur-lined gloves when you can wear the fur on the outside, like the paws of some abominable snowman? So spend a lot of money this season — or there won't be anyone left to tell you to spend a lot of money the next.