charlesbarkley - Jezebel

posts about #charlesbarkley more →
Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel: Dunzo, Again
Madonna & Jesus Have Rough Run-In With Sean Penn
Patrick Swayze Hospitalized for Pneumonia
Why Celebrities Can't Drive
Convention Diary: In Atlanta
Barbara Walters Talks Shit About Former View Co-Hosts
No Surprise Here: Lindsay Lohan's Boy-Toy A Total Tool

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deitybox
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
I'm glad Elizabeth Moss is getting work, but a shitty romcom with SJP? Come on Peggy, you don't have to sink to their level!
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deitybox
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
"Interesting: There's going to be a remake of the dark comedy Death At A Funeral, with Tracy Morgan, Martin Lawrence and Chris Rock. No word on whether Peter Dinklage will be in this version! [Hollywood Reporter]"

The FUCK??? Is this a joke? I haven't been so enraged since "A Blaffair to Rememblack"!!
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Liz11685
03/09/09

@deitybox: I hope it is a joke. Get some new ideas, Hollywood!!
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rhymeswithfeather
03/09/09

@deitybox: If you haven't noticed, Hollywood assumed that black people won't get a joke unless:

1) It is prefaced by "damn gurl" or followed by "Oh no you did-ent"

2) It is about watermelon or other 'black people' things, or

3) It is delivered by Chris Rock.

So, by these standards, such a remake is warranted. I am not at all surprised. Sigh.
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par3
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
Blind item! "Which pop diva just got her second boob job? Bet you didn't know about the first one, either - it's that good, and that out of character."

can someone please tell me who?
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raquel8
03/09/09

@par3:

X-tina or Britney
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mysterygirl
03/09/09

@par3: I'd think it would be out of character for someone like Hilary Duff, but I can't imagine her doing it... um, because it's too out of character... :)
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Crackers In Bed
03/09/09

@mysterygirl: I'm going with Hilary Duff or Gwen Stefani - they both had very subtle 'increases in size' over the years. maybe Gwen wants a post-baby lift?
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Crackers In Bed
03/09/09

@raquel8: christina or britney wouldn't be out of character though, so it has to be someone more unexpected...
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par3
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
r.i.p puupeh. i'm really upset about that right now. but i heard that some of her other dogs perished as well...
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YourScreenplaySucks
03/13/09

@par3: I'm worried that if I show up tonight, I'll be awkwardly standing around, asking random women, "Are you Jezebels?" because I don't know what most of you look like.

Luckily, I cultivate a distinctive style. I will be the lady dressed like this.

[i427.photobucket.com]

Please wave me over when you see me. I only look like I come from a hell dimension and want to cook your children in a soup - I'm really quite friendly!
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YourScreenplaySucks
03/13/09

@Your Screenplay Sucks: I'm worried that if I show up tonight, I'll be awkwardly standing around, asking random women, "Are you Jezebels?" because I don't know what most of you look like.

Luckily, I cultivate a distinctive style. I will be the lady dressed like this.

[IMG][i427.photobucket.com]]

Please wave me over when you see me. I only look like I come from a hell dimension and want to cook your children in a soup - I'm really quite friendly!
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dcdulce
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
Dear Tom,

I am sorry that I misplaced your shoe lifts.I know that I must always make you look taller than 5ft 4 inches.

Hail Xenu!

Katie
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superwoman
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
ladies of jez... from an african - let's not say AFRICA when referring to one country of the 50 plus on that continent.... it's beyond annoying - you never say EUROPE when you mean France, or Denmark, or ASIA when you're talking about Japan or Pakistan...why are Africans always just lumped together when we're easily the largest continent????? makes me crazy!

if Djimon and Kimora got married in Mauritania, then it might as well have happened in antartica for the relationship that i, as a southern african, have with that part of the continent. we are separate and distinct, inasmuch as we're all one continent....
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rhymeswithfeather
03/09/09

@superwoman: I would just like to share with you that, yesterday, when doing a story on 'Africa' (no country specified, as usual), my local news station keyed up a map of South America. So not only could they not pinpoint a country -- they fucked up the whole damn continent.
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Triphena
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
That first bit about Katie Holmes is so creepy. Like, yes, you should have lots of open, honest conversation in your marriage. But you shouldn't have to make written weekly confessions to your husband about running out to meet a friend for coffee. How awful to have that as part of your normal scheduel: "Friday 10 am-10:30am: Make list of transgressions against marital contract."
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merv
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
can we please stop linking to TMZ?
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lalaland13
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
These so called "legal experts" quoted at TMZ saying that because Rihanna hit first it's not a felony piss me off. I don't remember seeing that in the report posted on Smoking Gun. Maybe it was there, though, and I was distracted by the punching her while he drove and her mouth filling up with blood and her nearly being choked to unconsciousness. Shit like that feels like another way to make a woman feel bad about being abused-no, she shouldn't have hit him, if she did. But how is what he did not a felony? For the fuck of shit. You do not get a misdemeanor and no jail time, Chris Brown. No. I want you as a convicted felon.

I understand he has the legal right to any defense he wants, but it still irritates me.
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lalaland13
03/09/09

@lalaland13: OK, it was the search warrant I read on TSG. Just went and checked again. Still didn't see anything about her hitting him first. Does anyone know why that would be in the police report but not the search warrant? Doesn't make much sense to me. And looking over the search warrant made me ragey all over again.
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linnyt is a walking cliché
03/09/09

@lalaland13: the 'first offense' defense also pisses me off. it's not his first offense. it's the first time he got caught. i think there's no logic in practically excusing what he did because it was the first time anyone charged him. in a case this horrific, and any case similar, 'first offense' should not be a feasible defense.
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DutchessOfDork
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
Dear Justice,

If you let Chris Brown off, you deserve to get smacked around by the Pink Saris.
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Ramseylicious
03/09/09

@DutchessOfDork:
Do people generally think that anyone who hits a woman should have their lives completely ruined? I ask because my father abused my mother. My mother eventually divorced him, but he never went to jail and was never "punished" really for it. Since then, he has had a ridiculous amount of therapy and my relationship with him is actually much better than it is with my mother. Do people think that justice was not served in this situation? And that my father should have lost his job as a high school teacher?
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Too many smarties are almost enough
03/09/09

@Ramseylicious:I'm not sure. If he has committed a violent crime, and that would prohibit him from working in a particular field (i.e. where he has a duty of care to those who are potentially vulnerable), then, well...why shouldn't he lose his job? How do you feel about the fact that he was never 'punished' for knocking your mother around? Even if your dad is better now after all that therapy, what about the ones that never get better, that just get worse? That end up killing their partners?
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Ramseylicious
03/09/09

@Too many smarties are almost enough:
Honestly, it never even occurred to me that he could have gone to jail. And I do find it weird that it never crossed my mind. He was escorted out of our house by the police, but he wasn't arrested. It would have been sad for me if he went to jail, as I can imagine having a parent who is incarcerated sucks.

I guess my point is that people can change. There seems to be a lot more people in the "lock him up and throw away the key" camp than those that hope that both Chris Brown and Rihanna get help and get better.
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vanka-vstanka
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
Tom also crawls into Katie's bedroom window at night to watch her sleep. Then he disables her engine so she can't sneak off to see her werewolf friend.
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AuntieBee
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
Oh god, I know it's a lovely pet and very very tragic for Martha...

But I can't stop laughing at Ghenghis Khan died in a freak propane explosion. Cannot. Stop.
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lilbobbytables
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
Kate Moss is a vampire who stole my style. - Marianne Faithfull.

I call bullshit. I have never EVER seen Kate Moss sparkle in the sunlight.
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Rare Affinity
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
Poor Katie. At least when she was a good old catholic girl she only had to confess to the priest, who was bound by the seal of the confessional not to snitch on her. Scientology by contrast, loves to get its adherents to write down their deepest darkest confessions, so they can be safely stored away until such time as the material might be used for more sinister purposes. Why anyone would open themselves up to potential blackmail is beyond me. However, Scientologists usually try and get you to confess very early on when you might still naively believe they actually have your best interests at heart.
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Nighthawk (the former Okori Wadsworth) is headed back to DGUSA in November!
03/09/09

In reply to Dating Madonna Is A Religious Experience; Kimora Lee Simmons & Djimon Hounsou Married?
BI: Carrie Underwood? (since it's apparently really out of character)

And I will bet money it's "Dance" as the song Luhrmann and Pattinson sung to each other.

Sort of hooray for you, Dwayne. Good to make yourself happy.
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par3
03/09/09

@Nighthawk (the former Okori Wadsworth) is proud to be a wre...: idk..i'm baffled...bc i wouldn't really consider her a 'pop diva'...would you?
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zombie.nancy is a godess of fierce
03/09/09

@Nighthawk (the former Okori Wadsworth) is proud to be a wre...: I would make Dwayne happy.... All nite long!!!
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Nighthawk (the former Okori Wadsworth) is headed back to DGUSA in November!
03/09/09

@par3: I would actually.
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