• Amy Winehouse was in the audience for a performance of Cinderella and, reportedly, heckled the cast. She shouted things like:

"He's fucking behind you" and "Fuck Cinders, Prince Charming, marry me." She also called the ugly stepsisters "bitches." When a manager tried to usher her from the venue, she kicked him between the legs. Allegedly! Police are investigating… [The Sun]

• Foul play is not suspected in Brittany Murphy's death. [People]
• Here, sources say that Brittany Murphy was sick and vomiting before she died and was taking prescription meds for flu-like symptoms. In addition, she had diabetes. [TMZ]
• Brittany Murphy was fired from a horror film called The Caller two weeks ago. In addition, an insider on another horror/thriller, Something Wicked, says she was "barely there" when called on to shoot her scenes and would "go in and out of consciousness in the middle of takes." This source and the crew assumed she was on prescription drugs. But apparently, in 2001, she told a reporter that "even if she wanted to she couldn't take drugs because she'd had a heart condition since she was a little girl." [The Wrap]
• In this piece, Hollywood insiders claim Brittany Murphy was "a mess," had "too many drugs and not enough food" and "was a space cadet." [The Daily Beast]
• Here, a neighbor describes how rescue workers tried to save Brittany's life, although the woman says, "I think she was dead already." [Radar Online]
• The medical staff at the hospital tried to revive Brittany Murphy three times. [Radar Online]
• Leave it to The Sun to keep things classy and tasteful; the headline here is "Brittany 'Killed by Jacko Drugs.'" [The Sun]
• Brittany Murphy's family has released a statement: "The sudden loss of our beloved Brittany is a terrible tragedy. She was our daughter, our wife, our love and a shining star. We ask you to respect our privacy at this time." [ET]
• Madonna and Guy Ritchie are reuniting. For Christmas. A source says: "Madonna is flying in for 24 hours so Guy can spend Christmas Day with the children. Things are amicable between them and the children love Christmas at Ashcombe House in Wiltshire, which Guy has turned into a Santa's grotto." Listen: "Grotto" is for moss-covered sex playpens. Not for Kris Kringle. [Daily Express]
• Madonna is "the most written-about celebrity of the past decade in Britain." [The Sun]
• Tiger Woods' wife Elin Nordegren is allegedly seeking sole custody of their kids and half of his $600 million. [Radar Online, NY Post]
• Tiger Woods' mom: "Hurt, angry and disappointed" with her song. Apparently she likes Elin and — no shock here — adores her grandkids. [NY Post]
• Tiger Woods's yacht, Privacy, has set sail from Florida. A source says it's headed to he Bahamas. Will some alone time on the open seas be good for the golfer? [People]
• Strippers have found that Chris Brown acts like "a perfect gentleman." [Page Six]
• Charles Barkley is hosting SNL in 2010, and this columnist asks, "Could [good friend] Tiger Woods appear with him?" [MSNBC Scoop]
• This entire article is about how Sarah Jessica Parker's dress clung to her after a gust of wind. Eyeroll. [NY Daily News]
• Breaking: Catherine Zeta-Jones has a great rack. [Page Six]
• No surprise: The ratings for Jersey Shore are up. An interesting, voyeuristic anthropological study? Comedy gold? Trainwreck? Doesn't matter. America's in love. [TV BY The Numbers]
• In this column, Jersey Shore's Pauly D. explains how he gets his hair to do what it does: "It takes me 25 minutes to do the whole process and get it right." [NY Daily News]
• Barbara Walters and Frank Langella??!?! Apparently he's been her plus one at a bunch of events. She says: "Frank and I have been friends for many years and will continue to be friends for many years, but it's not a romance." [Page Six]
• "Roman Polanski is finishing the edit of his latest movie Ghost from his house arrest in Switzerland, surrounded by family and bombarded by telephone calls of support." [AP]
• Um, if you, like, me, enjoy handbags, be sure to click here and see Gossip Girl's costume designer, Eric Daman, in the dreamiest closet of your dreamy dreams. [NY Post story, slideshow]
• Tila Tequila has tweeted: "BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: I am going to become a SURROGATE MOTHER for my brother & his Wife!!! That is my xmas present to them. Im pregnant!!!!" This should be interesting. [ONTD via Daily Express]
• One of Jon Bon Jovi's sons was taken to the hospital yesterday, but there are no further details. [TMZ]
• Guys! I could not even read this item about Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. because the picture accompanying the piece makes it look like they're going to make out and I got excited/distracted. [Gatecrasher]
• Evi Quaid was arrested in Marfa, Texas on Saturday — she and husband Randy did not show up to court appearances after being busted skipping out on a steep hotel bill. [Radar Online]
• Randy Quaid has also been arrested. [Radar Online]
• Did Claudia Schiffer get special treatment when she was on the train that got stuck in the Chunnel? [Daily Express]
• Was PETA postergal Bethenny Frankel wearing fur over the weekend? More importantly: Was she on the subway?!?! [Gatecrasher]
• Hollywood is out of ideas, part CXXIII: Taylor Lautner might star in a remake of Vision Quest. [Daily Express]
• Let's not even talk about the 21 Jump Street movie starring Jonah Hill. [ONTD via Variety]
• The third Jackass movie will be 3D. [ONTD via Coming Soon]
• Rage Against the Machine pissed off Simon Cowell by hijacking the UK charts and landing the Christmas No. 1 spot. (One of his X Factor contestants was on track to score number 1.) [Daily Mail, Gawker]
• In a poll of 1,000 children under 10, Simon Cowell came in first as "the most famous person in the world." The Queen was second and God was third. [Mirror]
• Kate Winslet was "undone," meaning moved, by Crazy Heart, starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and Jeff Bridges. [Page Six]
• In 2010, Mary J. Blige will be a guest judge on American Idol, come out with a line of sunglasses and a fragrance. She says of her photograph on her new album cover: "Look at my shoulders, where I carry everything. Look at the strength of this person who continues to have trials and tribulations like everyone, and who by the grace of God makes it out." [USA Today]
• Did Nancy O'Dell leave Access Hollywood because Billy Bush is a diva and a jerk? [Gatecrasher]
• Wait, what? Def Leppard is developing a cartoon series?!?! [Reuters]
• "I don't want to just be a kind of bouncing board for men to flex their muscles and look brave and courageous and understanding, while I just look bleary-eyed in the background. No, I don't want to do that. You can also do leading roles that are riveting, but they tend to be – well, certainly in my world – they're the lower-budget, more arthouse films, because I'm not on the right list to be asked to do those really great meaty roles that you see Meryl Streep or Cate Blanchett doing." — But dammit, Kristin Scott Thomas, you're amazing! She also says of Botoxed actresses: "I can't bear is seeing [people who look] like photocopies. And there's that strange waxy look that I find disturbing." [Guardian]
• "Some women can buy their own shoes, some women don't want to go to lunch, some women like to cook, but they all need sex therapy. It's the one thing every woman's going to need sooner or later. Except a nun. So this album is not for nuns." — Robin Thicke. [AP]
• "Well, I know I'm not Quasimodo but as far as I'm concerned, you know, I think I'm not aesthetically beautiful. I have a broken nose here. I had a tracheotomy when I was a kid. I had broken capillaries. I always ask my husband, do I look fat in this dress? Can you see that spot on my face?" — Catherine Zeta-Jones. [Daily Express]
• "I always felt connected to her as we shared a very special experience in our lives together. I feel love in my heart for her – and hope she is at peace. This is truly sad." — Alicia Silverstone on Clueless costar Brittany Murphy. [People]

• Are there more kids in Sarah Jessica Parker's future?

Maybe adopted ones? In this lengthy interview, she says of having twins via a surrogate: "Matthew and I were looking at a variety of ways to expand our family. And I wouldn't say that we are done either. We will keep exploring different ways to have a family I think." In addition, her son, an Obama supporter, is upset with the President: "He has expressed pride in Obama, although he has also expressed to me that he is unhappy at how much Obama is on television." [The Daily Beast]

• Nicole Kidman needs to cool it when it comes to powdering her nose. [NY Daily News]
• Peaches Geldof was in a high-speed car crash in California yesterday while on her way to Disneyland; she and her friends were not hurt, but the front of the car was, in her words, "totally mangled." [The Sun]
• Anne Hathaway was also involved in a car accident yesterday — her boyfriend Adam Shulman was driving and she was in the passenger seat when they hit a cyclist. Paramedics were called, but no one was seriously injured; no one went to the hospital. [Radar Online]
• Kate Hudson — who has been upset about her breakup with Alex Rodriguez — was seen chatting with Madonna, who also dated A-Rod, at the Nine after-party. Also, when Jay-Z's "Empire State Of Mind" — the unofficial Yankees anthem — came on, "Kate looked at her mom and did a fake scream," says a source. [Page Six]
• This column about the Nine after-party begins, "There's sure to be gossiping when you put a lot of females in one room…" And when you put men in one room, it's what? A brain trust? Anyways: Penelope Cruz has a ring that MIGHT mean she's engaged to Javier Bardem. Fergie was supportive of Kate Hudson, and made a speech about her "integrity" and "loyalty." And! Josh Duhamel, recently accused of hooking up with a stripper, was seen "doting" on Fergie. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna and Tiger Woods have something in common: They went to the same sports-medicine specialist… who was arrested in October for smuggling uman growth hormone across the Canadian border. [Page Six]
• We heard this earlier, but here it is again: Elin Nordegren and her kids will spend the holidays in Sweden without Tiger Woods. [People]
• It's being reported that Elin Nordegren met with Los Angeles celebrity attorney Sorrell Trope — who has represented Nicole Kidman, Britney Spears and Cary Grant — to renegotiate the terms of a prenuptial agreement and file for divorce. [NY Post]
• What would Charles Barkley say if he could talk to his friend Tiger Woods? "I would tell him I love him. I have been disappointed with the people who are around him. They have got him so locked up. I know myself and Michael [Jordan have] been trying to get to him and we just want to tell him: 'Hey, man, we love you and you are our friend.' You need to know in times like this you have got friends. I am so pissed that they have got him holed up. He is a 33-year-old grown man. He did something wrong to his wife. He has to answer to her and his kids. That's it. But this notion that he is hiding out ... I mean he hasn't shown his face in almost two weeks." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Courtney Love is banned from contacting her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. [Page Six]
• Vanity Fair fashion and style director Michael Roberts was spotted doing a photo shoot with Jesus Luz in Ipanema, and yes, Jesus is basically bare-chested, why do you ask? [Made In Brazil]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Sofia Coppola is expecting her second child. [Gatecrasher via People]
• So, this was inevitable, I guess, but Snooki from Jersey Shore is in the gossip columns now. More precisely, this is an "exclusive" from her: She's been fired from her job. "I was a receptionist at a corporation," Snooki says. "I was getting good money, like $13 an hour. I got fired when I asked for time off to go to L.A." there's some more info about how The Situation got advice from Kristin Cavallari and how JWoww is still dating the same guy she was when she moved into the house at the link. [E!]
• Uh, Jersey Shore beauty secrets. [NY Daily News]
• Sandra Bullock was named Entertainment Weekly's Hollywood MVP, and says: "Being a movie star is a joke… It's all such a crapshoot." [Gatecrasher]
• Hugh Grant is truly irresistible. Everything he utters in this interview is ridiculously charming. Here's him talking about his father: "I play golf with him once a week, and he was puffing and panting. He was very unfit. I sent him to my very expensive trainer. He hasn't been to a gym since 1961. He didn't even have any gym clothes. We bought him some online. After two visits, he refused to wear them anymore and said, 'They're nonsense.' Now, he goes to the gym in corduroy trousers, a shirt and a cravat, I promise you. He's there, walking along on the machine." On Sarah Jessica Parker: "I hate almost everyone, and I really like her… Who would have thought a girl that size could eat that much? I've never seen anything like that in my life. She's half-girl, half-locust. Same with facts. She loves facts, the dullest facts. 'So you drive an Audi. What's special about that engine?' She remembers every detail." Also, he almost quit acting: "Doing Music and Lyrics, I had all these panic attacks. They're awful. I freeze like a rabbit. Can't speak, can't think, sweating like a bull. When I got home from doing that job, I said to myself: 'No more acting. End of films.'" [USA Today]
• Jennifer Lopez taped her performance for So You Think You Can Dance? yesterday. Marc Anthony and the kids were in the audience, watching. [Page Six]
• Tinsley Mortimer: Seen making out with Constantine Maroulis. [Page Six]
• At the link, Charlyne Yi talks about which movie this year made her weep, her harp lessons, Michael Cera, weird Facebook messages, and music: "It's funny, I think I've been living in a bubble for so many years, and I listen to the same music that I did when I was maybe 8. Like, I still listen to the song How I Will I Know by Whitney Houston." [Pop Candy]
• George Clooney is kind of in the middle of a coffee commercial war. [AdAge]
• Paula Abdul regrets leaving American Idol. A source says: "She was confident she would get her own talk show and even a gig performing live on the Las Vegas strip - none of which has materialized. It's going to get worse in January when Idol is everywhere with Ellen sitting in her seat." [MSNBC via Pop Eater]
• "EXCLUSIVE: Brady Madness! Crazed Girlfriend Ran To Chris Knight After Attacking Barry Williams." [Radar Online]
• Dan Rather says he's spent over $2 million of his own money in his ongoing lawsuit with CBS. [NY Post]
• George Stephanopolous replaced Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America and the ratings are meh. [Page Six]
• Cop drama Southland is moving from NBC to TNT, and producer Ann Biderman thinks it was more of a cable series to begin with. [NY Daily News]
• "John Lennon's Lost Six-Hour Interview." [Guardian]
• Q. How has James Cameron changed since you worked together on Aliens 25 years ago? Sigourney Weaver: "He's a different man. When we worked on Aliens we were in England and the crew was like, 'Who's this young upstart? Where's Ridley Scott?' He kept setting up screenings of The Terminator for them, and they wouldn't show up. Over the course of the shoot, they learned who they were dealing with. Jim's actually a nice guy. He's demanding - he's going to make you bring your 200 percent game - but he's never mean and he's harder on himself than anyone else. All these years later, he's more settled, he's happily married, he does this because he loves it, and he can get what he wants and create what he wants." [EW]
• "He encouraged me to be a storyteller. What parent tells their kid not to be a doctor?" — Up In The Air writer/director Jason Reitman, who dropped out of medical school, on his father, noted producer Ivan Reitman. [Page Six]
• "It's come full circle in many respects. I had a lot of bitterness and anger . It wasn't until the writing of this song that I really forgave my father. I realized if I continued to feel that anger and bitterness towards my dad, I would have a constant cloud hanging over my head . Writing is therapy for me. It has also allowed me to embrace dad and the Beatles." — Julian Lennon has forgiven his father John Lennon, 30 years after John's death. The song is called "Lucy" and is based on his recently deceased childhood friend Lucy Vodden, who was also the inspiration for "Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds." [Daily Express]
• "Part of my business is looking good. But I'm not the monster I used to be in the exercise department." — Jennifer Lopez. [Gatecrasher via Allure]
• "I'm not a prude at all. I'm delighted for anyone to use any kind of language they want to use. To be off-color. To work blue. Honestly, I have no objections. I love that people have and use all the choices in the world. I just have not for many, many, many, many, many years been someone who uses salty language. I don't think it suits me. I'm not comfortable with it. Can you picture me using the F-word? Listen: 'What the fuck!' See? It doesn't work for me. It sounds silly in my mouth." — Sarah Jessica Parker. [The Daily Beast]
• "I was smoking at a club one night, and this girl walked up to me and said, 'I can't believe you're smoking after playing someone in a hospital all this time!' I couldn't for the life of me figure out who she thought I was. [Then] she leaned over and said, 'I think your best work was in Garden State.'" — Justin Long was not flattered that someone thought he was Zach Braff. [Gatecrasher]
• "What really resonated with me was how wonderful that commitment that [Victoria and Albert] had to each other was, and how important that is… People quit on jobs. They quit on marriages. They quit on school. There's an immediacy of this day and age that doesn't lend itself to being committed to anything." — Emily Blunt, star of Young Victoria. [LA Times]

• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have broken up, for real this time.

It is, naturally, "amicable and mutual." [Extra via Gossip Cop]

• Robert Pattinson and his Remember Me costar Emilie de Ravin had a "secret" date! Except it's not a secret, because we know about it. And it wasn't so much a date but a photoshoot for Vogue. Apparently the "theme" of the photoshoot is a date at the museum (LACMA, Los Angeles County Museum Of Art) and the look is edgy, tattered high fashion. [E!]
• Jessica Simpson went to see sister Ashlee in Chicago on Broadway and asked for popcorn in the lobby. [Page Six]
• Roman Polanski will spend Christmas and New Year's Eve in his Alpine chalet: "Swiss authorities say they will decide early next year on whether to extradite director Roman Polanski to the United States." [AP]
• Apparently Elin Nordegren is "not going to be one of those 'stand by her man' women," according to a source: "Forgiveness isn't exactly around the corner." Next stop: Splitsville. [MSNBC Scoop]
• This report claims that Elin Nordegren wants half of Tiger Woods' $548 million. I can barely even wrap my mind around how much money that is. [Mirror]
• Um, Charles Barkley and Spike Lee are concerned about Tiger Woods. Apparently he's not speaking to Barkley or any of his famous friends. In a one hour special, to air Sunday on HLN, Barkley says: "I think when you have these fires in your life, as I call them, you need to talk to somebody else who is famous who [has] been through things in their life… I don't think you can talk about it to your family and friends, because your family and friends, they're not famous." Lee says: "He's insulated… If Charles Barkley and Michael Jordan can't get to him, and those are his boys, then other people are making bad moves." [CNN]
• Tiger Woods' high school girlfriend says Tiger was devastated by his father cheating. "He would just call crying and say, 'My dad is with another woman,' and that would be all he could say," she says. "He would be so upset, so I just tried to be there for him and listen to him." Hopefully he is talking about this in therapy. [E!]
• Tiger's ladyfriend Jamie Junger says she partied in Las Vegas with Tiger Woods and Charles Barkley, gambling for hours in a VIP area: "Tiger would occasionally put his hand on my leg but it was underneath the table… There was nobody around except the blackjack dealer, the roulette dealer and a cocktail waitress who would come in the room. There was nobody in that room except for myself, Tiger and Charles Barkley." [Radar Online]
• In an exclusive story, People is reporting that Elin Nordegren plans to divorce Tiger Woods. A source says: "She's made up her mind. There's nothing to think about: he's never going to change." [People]
• This report claims Elin is planning to take the kids to spend the holidays with her family in Sweden. [NY Daily News]
• Lady Gaga is the most-listened to artist of the year, according to Last.fm. [Mirror]
• Carrie Underwood is on the cover of Self, and inside, she says: "Before I die, I want to get rid of all my money… Recently, I started a foundation to benefit my hometown [the Checotah Animal, Town and School Foundation: C.A.T.S.]. I'm looking forward to doing a lot of good for a community that's a big part of why I am who I am." [People via Self]
• Young Victoria star Emily Blunt says she sees a correlation between being a celebrity today and Queen Victoria: "Queen Victoria was a celebrity of that time." She also says, of being famous: "I'm not hounded in any way, like so many people are. It's not that life changing or life inhibiting. I feel like you can make a choice. I really do. And you can have an aura about you that doesn't attract that kind of attention. You just find the dive bars. That's my advice. Go get a cheeseburger and find a dive-bar. But that's how I like to live my life. Some people don't like to live it that way. Some people want to go to those places, the chic, chic places and go to the scenes. That's their choice." [BlackBook]
• A "source" says A-Rod broke up with Kate Hudson a week ago, but wanted to break up with her over a week ago. [Us]
• Kate Hudson and her mom Goldie Hawn did some "boy-bashing" at a bar Monday night over drinks. [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Gosselin is lonely. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Newsflash: Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker actually like each other. [Daily Express]
• Sarah Jessica Parker calls motherhood "the most perfectly overwhelming experience." [People]
• The dude who tried to blackmail David Letterman tried to "mask" the transaction s a business deal, prosecutors said in court Tuesday. [USA Today]
• This column alleges that the guy was so paranoid that he thought David Letterman might kill him over the extortion plot. [Page Six]
• The man accused of secretly videotaping Erin Andrews naked pled guilty to one count of interstate stalking. [TMZ]
• Usher, Michelle Trachtenberg, John Legend, Leighton Meester and Beyoncé were spotted at Robin Thicke's album release party. [Page Six]
• Snoop Dogg smoking weed? You don't say. [Page Six]
• Gossip Girl pseudo-spoiler involving Chuck Bass at the link. [Gatecrasher]
• Before the Golden Globe nomination announcements, Quentin Tarantino said, "I'm not nervous… I'll either get something or I won't. We'll see." Inglourious Basterds got a best supporting actor nod for Christolph Waltz, as well as best motion picture, drama; director and screenplay. [LA Times]
• Rumor has it Tobey Maguire will play Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, but he says: "I have not met or spoken to Guillermo del Toro or Peter Jackson or anybody. Nobody has given me a script or approached me about it. Somebody actually sent me that link that said that I had a conversation with the director and it was just not true." [Access Hollywood]
• General Hospital and "Jessie's Girl" fans: Rick Springfield is working on a memoir, Late, Late At Night, which will detail his long battle with depression. [AP]
• Diddy is not, repeat, not getting married. Adjust accordingly. [Page Six]
• Motley Crue's Vince Neil allegedly owes $62,000 in unpaid legal fees. [Contact Music]
• Alec Baldwin has donated $1 million to Tisch School of the Arts at NYU for a scholarship fund. [Gatecrasher]
• Isabella Rossellini has been studying at NYU for her final exams in animal behavior and environmental science. [Gatecrasher]
• "The administrators of Michael Jackson's estate and a cadre of attorneys are seeking millions for managing the King of Pop's affairs after death, court documents filed Tuesday show." [USA Today, TMZ]
• Morgan Spurlock versus Harvey Weinstein? Details at the link. [Page Six]
• RIP Joseph Tierney, who served 16 years on the Boston City Council — and is Maura Tierney's dad. [Boston]
• Blind items! "Which television anchor is frantically denying he had an affair with his wife's sister?" And: "Which Hollywood hottie is less than impressed with her ex-boy friend's equipment? She's telling friends he's a flop in the sack." [Page Six]
• "If she's angry, I allow her to say, 'Damn! I'm so frustrated today!' We have our moments when we clash, but we have a good relationship. I want her to count on me to try to understand what she's going through. No damnation, no condemnation, nothing that's going to make her feel like she can't come to me." — Whitney Houston on daughter Bobbie Kristina, aka Krissy. Whitney's looking good on the cover of In Style, there's a pic at the link. [People via InStyle]
• "I have always performed. I have always brought music to people. I know that the sound at the O2 is phenomenal. I know that it holds about - be still, my heart - 15,000 people. And I hope that our lovely show will satisfy and fill that vast arena. I think it will, but I also know that it will be very daunting…I can sing-speak, I do have some bass notes that I discovered, and I do have just a couple of tricks up my sleeve that I think will surprise people. I'm a little nervous, more than a little nervous. I'm also excited and pleased to be bringing this concert to London. It's a gorgeous evening of music and I'm thrilled to be bringing it to London. As far as I'm concerned, they're not going to be hearing the Julie they used to hear. But I will be using my voice the best I know how these days. Some notes I can't try again. The truth is I don't have the soprano voice I used to have. But I do have a few solid bass notes that I will employ to the best of my ability." — Julie Andrews, on her concert, coming in May 2010 — her first since a throat operation threatened to silence her forever. [Daily Mail]
• "I made this terrible decision early on when I said I thought Watson should have a starched collar. Then, with it on, I could barely swallow my sandwiches at lunchtime." — Jude Law, on his Sherlock Holmes wardrobe. [Telegraph]
• "When Rob Marshall called me up and said, 'We are going to do this film about the story of Fellini and I would like you to be in it,' I was very proud of it because I was the only Italian in the film to be able to say Italian movies are still wonderful all over the world. So, I accepted in a very nice way and Rob told me — he was lying, of course — that he was not going to do the film if I wasn't in it. So, I said, 'For the sake of his career, it's OK, I'm going to be in it.' I did it and here I am to answer your questions… Italians will be the same always, all the time… Italians are a people that have a lot of heart, a lot to say in every field and we will always be very successful ... and proud of being Italian." — The legendary Sophia Loren, on Nine. She has probably not seen Jersey Shore. [UPI]
• "Animals aren't easy, but what's annoying about children is that everyone loves them and I resent that. I only work with ugly children." — Hugh Grant. [People]
• "I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough, to get the right one." — Russell Brand. [Page Six]

• Madonna took Jesus Luz to a Kabbalah service. Again. This paper calls her "the world's most boring date." [Daily Mail]

• Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou got married in Africa over the summer??? Well, it was a ceremony. But it's not necessarily legal in the U.S. [Gatecrasher]
• Katie Holmes has to make weekly written confessions as part of her "commitment" to Scientology. "Katie has to confess to something as minor as forgetting to tell him she has met with a friend," says a source. "If she commits a transgression against the moral code of their marriage, she has to tell Tom in writing, giving full details of the time and place and what happened." [Daily Mail]
• Jolie-Pitt alert: After filming a few scenes for Salt in Washington DC, Angelina and the brood will hit New York tomorrow. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Now that Amy Winehouse is rested and ready after a long vacay in St. Lucia, she says she's got writer's block. "I'm not feeling creative," she says. "I start things but I don't finish them. I know when stuff is rubbish." [Mirror]
• Uh-oh: Amy Winehouse has been denied a US work visa and can't appear at Coachella next month. [Mirror]
• Britney Spears spent Saturday visiting sick kids at Miami's Children's Hospital. [People]
• Chris Brown has been hard at work, recording tracks for his new album. It's odd thinking about anyone buying it. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Oh, wait: Guess who is experiencing steady album sales? Chris Brown. [Perez]
• Meanwhile, Rihanna is also focusing on music. [Yahoo News via E!, Extra]
• TMZ's Harvey Levin says the unseen Rihanna photos are worse than the one leaked: He calls them "horrific" and "monstrous." [Tennessee Guerilla Women]
• Chris Brown wants his plea to be to a misdemeanor — with no jail time. [TMZ]
• Why is Chris Brown up for a Kids' Choice Award? A Nickelodeon exec says he "was nominated by kids several months ago, and the kids who vote will ultimately decide who wins in the category." [TMZ]
• Oprah to Rihanna: "He will hit you again." [NY Daily News]
• How do we feel about this: Ashlee Simpson landed a role on the new Melrose Place. [EW]
• Zanessa! Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens will get married in September, says this source whose reliability we question. Disney wedding? We've got dresses! [PopCrunch]
• Prince Harry was seen "laughing and joking" with Astrid Harbord, a friend of Kate Middleton's. This paper calls her "the new blonde." [Daily Mail]
• This piece is all about how Freida Pinto got cast in Slumdog Millionaire; she was a model and had an "edge" because she was "confident and articulate." [Hindustan Times]
• So you know how Michael Jackson's possessions were up for sale? The auction house catalogs have been published. See a painting of MJ in Henry the Eighth garb; a carousel horse given to him by Liz Taylor, and some sculptures, including one of two boys plating leapfrog. [Fox 411]
• One of Martha Stewart's dogs has gone to heaven: Ghenghis Khan died in a freak propane explosion. [TMZ]
• The guy who usually dubs Sean Penn's voice for all of his movies in Brazil refused to do the voice in Milk. "I did not feel comfortable with the job," he said. Is it because Harvey Milk is gay and you're a pastor? [Variety]
• Leonardo DiCaprio, Lukas Haas, Tobey Maguire and Kevin Dillon went on a bike ride around New York's East Village Friday. An eyewitness says it was "really uncool." [UPI]
• Speaking of cycling, Matt Damon was among 35,000 riders attempting a 68 mile bike trek in South Africa on Sunday. [Daily Express]
• Dancing With The Stars producers are downplaying the fact that they lost two contestants — Jewel and Nancy O'Dell — and hyping the announcement of their replacements, whose identities will be revealed tonight. Except don't we know that one is Holly Madison? [UPI]
• So maybe you knew that Jodi Lyn O'Keefe — of She's All That, Prison Break, and various TV shows — has been dating John Cusack. Bet you didn't know that she's broke up with him because he won't marry her? [Star]
• You may have noticed this, but Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is trying to reposition himself. He's no longer just a former wrestler but into comedies and films for children. "Audiences, particularly kids, seem to love discovering that a guy this big and this good looking is actually very sweet and very funny," says his Race To Witch Mountain director. [NY Times]
• Macy Gray will appear as a guest performer/lecturer on the first day of a UCLA Extension course on the music business this spring. The course is run by Doors manager Jeffrey Jampolm who says: "Macy Gray is getting on the cutting edge of where music is going. She just made a new record that she financed herself. She owns it, and she's going to market it independently." [LA Times]
• Russell Brand is now in the music biz, managing a little-known singer-songwriter named Simon Kaye, who performs under the name Little Wonder. Apparently there's a record label bidding war to sign this guy, so prepare yourself. (Video of his latest song at the link.) [The Sun]
• There's a new DA and a new task force on the JonBenét Ramsey case, more than 12 years later. [People]
• Are Elizabeth Hurley and husband Arun Nayar in a fast car to splitsville? [Hindustan Times]
• Hurley's rep does not deny rumors of a separation. [Telgraph]
• Here's a profile on Joan Allen, who stars in a Broadway play called Impressionism. [NY Times]
• Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss has been cast in a romcom called Did You Hear About The Morgans?; Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker are already attached. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Interesting: There's going to be a remake of the dark comedy Death At A Funeral, with Tracy Morgan, Martin Lawrence and Chris Rock. No word on whether Peter Dinklage will be in this version! [Hollywood Reporter]
• Julia Roberts will produce Jesus Henry Christ, a comedy about a boy conceived in a petri-dish and raised by a loving, left-wing feminist. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Joss Stone's CD has been delayed until July. [Daily Mail]
• Rita Wilson, Meryl Streep, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will be in an untitled Nancy Meyers flick; Her movie What Women Want was the most successful film ever directed by a woman. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Mick Jagger, his girlfriend L'Wren Scott and his son Lucas went to the Getty Center in L.A., and because L'Wren held the nine-year-old kid's hand, this paper claims she "played mom." [Daily Mail]
• Sigh: Pixie Geldof was turned down by the art school she applied to. [Daily Mail]
• Jade Goody and her sons were christened in the hospital where she is being treated for terminal cancer. Jade may only have days to live. [Daily Mail]
• Charles Barkley had a news conference, shook hands and posed for pictures over the weekend. While in jail. [TMZ]
• M.I.A. says she never named her baby Ickitt. So what is the little boy's name? [Daily News]
• Blind item! "Which pop diva just got her second boob job? Bet you didn't know about the first one, either - it's that good, and that out of character." [Gatecrasher]
• "Kate Moss is a vampire who stole my style." — Marianne Faithfull. [Daily Mail]
• "I'm not going to be [pregnant for a while] because I'm going on tour. I wouldn't want to do that to the poor child." And: "At first I would just stay in and wouldn't go outside [because of the paparazzi], but I would start getting bored with the treadmill and I like to hike outside. I'm not going to let them rule my life. For me it's not about being thin. For me it's about being in shape and being healthy. I have to have stamina onstage or I lose my breath very easily." — Fergie on trying for a baby and getting in shape. [Mirror]
• "I'm still baffled as to why people are so interested in my life. It's so weird – even my dog Norman gets recognized. I'm cutting him off – I've told him, no more Oprah appearances!" — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• "I have never been a woman who dreams about getting married and having children and having that house in Connecticut. On the contrary, I've always gone with the flow. I enjoy the moment because life goes on while you try to make plans; it's better to make the most of every second. So I just try to live in the present." — Jennifer Aniston. [Daily Mail]
• "I spent my time cross stitching. But I made it fun by stitching naughty words into handkerchiefs. There were long gaps between filming and I was bored, so it kept me occupied." — Miranda Richardson, on her hobby while filming The Young Victoria. [Daily Mail]
• "We have a similar sense of humor. Our list of priorities in our personal lives are not different. We are both happily married with families and lead a pretty normal, unaffected existence within in this odd universe of show business that we've both chosen to go into." — Julia Roberts on Duplicity costar Clive Owen. [People]
• "It was really funny seeing Baz Luhrmann and Rob [Pattinson] singing a David Bowie song. It was a talky one so they both could sort of talk to each other, and they were riffing back and forth. They were looking longingly into each other's eyes."— Kristen Stewart, who says she hopes there will be a movie based on the fourth Twilight book, Breaking Dawn. [Yahoo News via E!]
• "Look! [Suri] painted these canvas ballet slippers. Isn't she the best? She'll be 3 soon. It's such a good age. She was in musical school this year, but starts real school next year." — Katie Holmes. [Gatecrasher]
• "I actually worked as a kid at the Dallas Times Herald, because my dad had worked with [American journalist] Bill Moyers and then his son was working at the Times Herald and I got a job as a runner one summer. And as a kid it was really exciting to be around in the summertime doing that." — Owen Wilson, on his stint in journalism. [The Star]
• "I'm excited to have a girl. I was saying I didn't know if I could ever love someone more [than my son]. So I'm happy it's a girl. That way, I can love my boy like crazy, and I can love my girl like crazy. They'll feel even." — Pregnant Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford. [Gatecrasher]
• "It's all different from what I was taught in gymnastics. I have to learn to let go and just be emotional." — Shawn Johnson, on Dancing With The Stars. [LA Times]
• "I've had enough of women." — Colin Farrell. [Daily Express]
• "I have no desire [to have children]. I would not be a good mother. I mean, I love being an aunt to my niece and nephew. And I used to want to, like, adopt 10 kids - because I had friends who were adopted, and I thought that was the coolest thing, to be chosen. But again, my job is too selfish." — Kelly Clarkson. [USA Today]
• "I don't think unique creativity can be put into a shape. What leaves a bad taste with trying to create pop stars overnight these days is that they seem to try to identify people according to a size or a shape and say what will work. It's like trying to create artists with a cookie cutter! I don't like how the judging works on The X Factor. Who are the judges to say what's good and what isn't? I hate the cruelty and humiliation of it. And when it's a kid or a teenager I can't bear them to be ripped to shreds. Does it really have to be so cruel?" — Annie Lennox. [Daily Express]

• Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel have split up again, five months after reconciling. "Sarah initiated the split this time," says a source. "He's bummed." The two had dated on and off for six years.[US Weekly]

• Britney Spears took time off from her Circus tour to visit 40 sick children in a Miami hospital. "She took pictures with the kids and gave them autographed pictures," says hospital spokesperson Cristene Martinez,"The kids were so excited to meet Britney, and having her here was a great distraction for them."[People]
• "I couldn't top Friends. It was one of the best times of my life and it feels like a very precious thing to me; anything that happens from this point is a cherry on top of the cake. The fact that I just get to keep working makes me feel really lucky."- Jennifer Aniston [DailyMail]
• Nadya Suleman has lost yet another publicist: "Not to sound arrogant, but those people depended on me for everything," says former publicist Victor Munoz, "You have no idea what I've had to do for these people. Nadya got real greedy. This woman is nuts. This I can say: what ultimately destroyed the business arrangement was personal reasons."[US Weekly]
• "What's funny, people will say that to me. "We interviewed you right after 'Idol'; you're pretty much the same." I'm like, yep. I don't want to live in a sceney place. I live in Texas, right next to the town I grew up in. I genuinely just love doing music. I'm not really excited about the whole famous thing."- Kelly Clarkson [Newsweek]
• Charles Barkley has reported to jail to serve his 3-day sentence for drunk driving: "You come here when you screw up," Barkley said at a press conference, "I don't blame anybody for this situation but myself." He also took a minute to comment on the Rihanna/Chris Brown situation: "I wish both of them the best, but it's never acceptable to hit a woman. Period." [CNN]
• Hey No Doubt fans: purchase "top price level" tickets to their upcoming tour and receive a pass to download the entire No Doubt catalog. [EW]
• Blind item: "Which celeb was so caned on ketamine at a party she began dancing with a plant?" [BlindGossip]
• Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson says he decided to turn his life around after his mother had to bail him out of jail at age 17. ""My parents were dealing with evictions and repossessions and electricity getting shut off," he says, "and I just realized that I had to get it together." [NYTimes]
• "You start off being a kid in an Adidas top," he continues, "and you end being this guy in a fur jacket and two pairs of f***ing sunglasses. Which, let me tell you, is amazing. Those times were incredible. I wouldn't want to go back to them for all the tea in China. That would be a joke. But I'm glad I lived through all that madness, all the fur coats and the crocodile-skin shoes and the drugs and the women. We made it look like what it is: the best job in the world."-Noel Gallagher [Times of London]
• Alex Rodriguez is apparently wooing girlfriends by buying gift cards to Victoria's Secret: "He's been going into Victoria's Secret for the last seven months and buying $1,000 gift cards, sometimes five or six at a time," says a source, "He must be giving them out like candy." [PageSix]
• If you were impressed by certain bulges in Billy Crudup's Watchmen costume, I'm afraid you were tricked by the magic of the movies. "I'm not saying how much the computer helped," Crudup admits, "Why would the guy with all this power really care about a uniform? . . . I think he kind of feels like, 'You know what? I enjoy a good breeze on my private parts.' " [PageSix]
• And speaking of Watchmen, the movie had a great start, taking in 25.1 million dollars at the box office on Friday. [EW]
• Scarlett Johansson's new brunette do isn't for a movie after all: she just got "bored" and decided to mix things up a bit. ""I was bored one day," Johansson says, "It was raining and I was with a hairdresser friend and we just decided to color my hair. We experimented with a few shades until we got the right one. I like it." [ShowbizSpy]
• Is Christian Bale going to try to save his crazy reputation by doing a romantic comedy? A source says yes: "Christian's reputation has been done no favors by the broadcasting of his rant. He has a habit of going for very dark and moody roles so that's not helping his image either. It was his friend Drew Barrymore who suggested he might try something like a romantic comedy, and it looks like he might star in something with her. Drew is looking for the right script." Just don't let Phil Collins do the soundtrack, okay? [ShowbizSpy]
• Beyonce may sing about heartache, but apparently she's never experienced it: ""Well, fortunately I haven't had any break-ups! This is my first relationship," she says, referring to her marriage to Jay-Z. [JustJared]
• In Miley Cyrus' new book, Miles to Go, she recalls how she stood up to bullies in school: "They started cussing me and telling me to get up. I sat there, frozen. I didn't know what to do," Cyrus writes, "Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't chicken. What could they do to me? I was surrounded by people. I stood up, still a foot shorter then they were, and said: ‘What's your problem? What did I ever do to you?'" If you didn't catch that first bit, I wrote, Miley Cyrus' book. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to burn my MFA and cry maniacal tears.[ TheSun]

• At an Oscar party, Madonna congratulated ex-husband Sean Penn on his win. Penn reportedly gestured at Jesus Luz and said: "Thanks. Another kid already?" [The Sun]

• Sean Penn skipped the Milk party, by the way. Why wouldn't you go to the bash for your own damn flick? [Page Six]
• Was Ben Stiller's Joaquin impersonation the only amusing part of the Oscars? [NY Post]
• Kate Winslet was psyched at the Vanity Fair party: she "cradled" her statue and shouted "Wooo!" at all who congratulated her. [Gatecrasher]
• Since receiving it, Kate Winslet has not put her Oscar down. [Daily Mail]
• Jennifer Aniston wouldn't let John Mayer pose for a picture with "backstage beauties" at the Oscars. Or, you know, people want you to think she is keeping a tight grip on this one. [E!]
• Sienna Miller was at Montblanc's/UNICEF dinner in Hollywood and came out of the men's room followed by a "short, straggly haired gent whom she didn't speak to again that night." [Gatecrasher]
• Are Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson back on? She was seen with him right before the Oscars. [Page Six]
• Prince's Oscar party: A "disaster." [Page Six]
• Will Billy Crystal host the Oscars next? Fox's Roger Friedman thinks so, since Crystal isn't working on anything else. [Fox 411]
• Madonna who? Gwyneth Paltrow is becoming BFFs with Jay-Z and Beyoncé: Her kids call him "Uncle Jay." [Page Six]
• Eminem is suing Universal Music Group — the world's largest music company — over how much he is entitled to when his tunes are sold to third-party distributors. [The Wrap]
• There was a hearing in the Britney Spears restraining order case yesterday; Dad Jamie Spears claimed that Britney has been talking to Sam Lutfi and Adnan Ghalib on a pre-paid cell phone. Danger, danger! [TMZ]
• Victoria Beckham's carbon footprint? Huge. [Guardian]
• Three words: Kathy Griffin memoir. [NY Observer]
• Parker Posey is a big tipper. [Page Six]
• Lily Allen wants to star in Miss Marple. She also wants to sing for and appear in a Bond film. She's a lady with dreams! [The Star]
• Stevie Wonder is in Washington to receive the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song from the Library of Congress; the ceremony will happen later this week at the White House and Barack Obama will present the award. Signed sealed delivered, it's his! [USA Today]
• Pix of the Slumdog cuties at Disneyland! [Extra]
• Here's a story about how the Slumdog kids are hometown heroes. "The whole country is happy about this. They are very happy that a boy from the slums is also now a star. I'm also very happy," said Mohammed Ismail, the father of a 10-year-old who appeared in the flick. [NY Post]
• A Tennessee teen who got raided last Fall for hacking Miley Cyrus's Gmail account also hacked other celebrity accounts and MySpaces for a spam scheme that earned him $110,000. [Wired]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is so obsessed with Audrey Hepburn that she dressed up as the actress for her 30th birthday. Nice tiara. [E!, IDLYITW]
• Some dude in Seattle collects celebrity-autographed yarmulkes, and 32 of them will be displayed at the University Of Washington. [UPI]
• Charles Barkley was sentenced to 10 days in jail yesterday, stemming from a December DUI in which he told cops he was speeding because he was on his way to get a blow job. (Note: That excuse does not work.) [E!]
• Kate Beckinsale has some instant noodles named after her: Steak and BeckinsALE. What an honor? [The Sun]
• The author of gay comic book Hair-Raising Adventures of Jayms Blonde says Adam Sandler ripped off his idea and turned it into You Don't Mess With The Zohan. No one should be claiming credit for Zohan, though. [NY Daily News]
• Is U2 getting £1million in free advertising from the BBC? [Daily Mail]
• Regis Philbin's son Danny tried to kill himself with a pill overdose after splitting with his wife. [Perez Hilton]
• New couple: Elle Macpherson and Brit designer Oswald Boateng. [Gatecrasher]
• A martial arts instructor is suing Tito Jackson over unpaid debt. Is that family a magnet for trouble? [Mirror]
• Blind item! " Which billionaire's son is a scary misogynist? When women balk at his less-than-gentlemanly pickup lines, he calls them bitches and shouts a threat or two." [Gatecrasher]
• More blind items! "Which actor snorted cocaine in the bathroom during an Oscar after-party, while a slimmed-down stoner actor smoked pot outside with his pals? Which morning cable TV show hostess took off a week recently to get her eyes done and her breasts enlarged? Which aviation honcho is trying to knock down rumors he shacked up with a young hottie who works for him while his pregnant wife was back home and clueless?" [Page Six]
• "It's not up to me, but I'm sure we would (have him on SNL) if he had another hit single. We don't care about scandal. We just care about what brings us ratings!" — Kenan Thompson on Chris Brown. [MSNBC]
• "Possession of pouty lips and carefully contrived tousled hairdos doesn't exempt them from associating with the reporters and fans who made them famous." — from a rant against Angelina and Brad snubbing interviewers on the red carpet. [NY Post]
• "It doesn't cost $500 to cut my hair. Have you seen my hair? I don't even have that many strands. If for some reason i decided that I was going to throw $500 away on a hair cut I would pay for it myself, however - I have a great exchange going with my hair dresser - I make him cds - he cuts my hair. Yay! cheap and cheerful!" —Samantha Ronson, shutting down a report that Lindsay Lohan pays for Sam's $500 hair cuts. [MSNBC]

• We're starting the weekend with some sad news: Patrick Swayze, who is receiving chemotherapy to treat his pancreatic cancer, checked himself into the hospital this morning with pneumonia. [Us]

• While in prison, Martha Stewart broke up a lesbian orgy taking place in the exercise room. She marched in, flipped on the lights, and yelled, "Chop! Chop! Ladies!" [Celeb News Wire]
• Is Amy Winehouse peeing standing up in this picture ... or is it a plant? [The Superficial]
• Is Winehouse a terrorist target?! Supposedly Islamic extremists have a hit list of some of Britain's leading Jews, and Winehouse is on it. [Perez Hilton]
• At the Critics' Choice Awards, Angelina Jolie lost the award for Best Actress to Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep (it was a tie). During Hathaway's rambling acceptance speech, Angie totally gives her bitch face. Yes, there is video. [E!]
• Obama supporter Anne Hathaway shared her thoughts on Rick Warren after the awards show: "My older brother is gay, and so its a family issue for me. My father is coming with me to the Inauguration. At first we discussed not going, and then we thought we’d just turn our backs when he [Warren] speaks. But we didn’t want to be disrespectful. So we’re going to wear ribbons protesting his appearance.” [Fox News]
• OMG! Kate Middleton just turned 27 and she is still not engaged to Prince William!!! The British press has taken to calling her "Waity Katie," which she hates. [CBS News]
• Angela Bassett says that she has her tickets to the inauguration, but won't be attending the balls because, “We’ve all done parties.” Are there any celebrities not attending the inauguration? [NY Magazine]
• Bono is writing an Op-Ed for this Sunday's New York Times. Bono says: "I've never been great with the full stops or commas. Let's see how far we can take this." [Alley Insider]
• Scarlett Johansson says she's given up on trying to get Woody Allen to try new things ... or pretty old ones. "One day, I said something about Neil Young and he was like, 'Neil Young? Who's Neil Young?'" said Johansson. [Daily Express]
• Mena Suvari says she thought her new horror film was a comedy when she first read the script. Her character hits a man with her car and when he becomes stuck in her windshield she is too scared to go to the police so she drives home. [The Star]
• Match.com columnist Whitney Casey told Howard Stern that Rocco Dispirito was the best sex she ever had and that he has a perfect penis "like the statue David." When Howard pointed out the statue has a small penis, she elaborated that his penis is like a Viagra version of the statue of David." [DListed]
• Did you know Paul Rudd has been arrested? When he was in college at the University of Kansas police arrested him because he was drinking outside - while underage. [Daily Express]
• Kate Hudson punched Anne Hathaway on the set of Bride Wars. It was an accident, or so Kate says. [People]
• Just so you know, Ashley Olsen allegedly doesn't wash her hands after using the bathroom. [Yeeeah]
• "I can get on with someone really, really well and if they are no good at having sex with me it really upsets me," says Lily Allen, who cannot seem to stay out of the gossip columns this week. [ONTD]
• Ryan O'Neal pled guilty to meth possession in court today and was sentenced to 18 months in rehab. [TMZ]
• Evan Rachel Wood is dating Jason Segel! So maybe he and Drew Barrymore are "just friends." [E!]
• More evidence: if Ladies Home Journal is to be believed, Drew has been single for the past six months. But she still believes in love. [People]
• Everyone in Defiance, including Daniel Craig, was so nervous about their accents that they said their lines very quietly on the first day of rehearsals. "No-one wanted to give away how bad their accent actually sounded," said Craig's co-star, Jamie Bell. [Daily Express]
• Jennifer Connelly said that she and Jennifer Aniston really hit it off while making He's Just Not That Into You and says she wishes they were close friends so they could still "hang out" together. Um, so why can't they? Will their moms not let them be friends? [Daily Express]
• Rock stars! They are doing things! R. Kelly finalized his divorce from his wife of 11 years. Justin Timberlake will appear at the fashion show for his line William Rast, but won't perform. Merle Haggard is suing an environmental group that misused his name to raise money. And U2 is warning fans about fake tickets to no-existent shows this summer. [Rolling Stone]
• Natasha Lyonne explains what she really meant when she said she was going to sexually molest a neighbor's dog: “They were missing the point a bit when I said I was going to molest a dog. Is it my problem in the first place for being fucked up and acting like a maniac? Clearly. But should you steer your puppy in the opposite direction on the street when you’re walking by me? No! I love puppies as much as the next guy…. The only difference is what I like to do to them.” [NY Magazine]
• Cops say Charles Barkley's blood alcohol level was nearly twice the legal limit when he was busted for a DUI last month while on a quest for awesome oral sex. [TMZ]
• "I wanna make popular music, but I want less fans. I want the freedom of having less fans. It’s like the freedom of having less money. If you have less money, you have less responsibility. It’s like Björk. If she wanted to pose naked, you’d be like, ‘Oh, that’s Björk.’ But if I wanted to pose naked, people would draw all type of things into it. I definitely feel like, in the next however many years, if I work out for two months, that I’ll pose naked. I break every rule and mentality of hip-hop, of black culture, of American culture.” - Kanye West in the new issue of Vibe [Just Jared]

Most of us can probably list at least a few celebrity arrests. If you don’t remember Paris Hilton’s DUI, you might still have heard about Britney’s driving-with-a-baby scandal. It seems like every time a celebrity gets behind the wheel, it makes national news. But, Slate argues, this does not make celebrities bad drivers. They are just overexposed and driving in more dangerous conditions than the rest of us — due to the paparazzi and all. The good news: we don’t care! Bad behavior in cars is usually viewed as a “folk crime,” so even though it may be dangerous to drive after a few drinks, enough people have done it that it no longer seems to count as “real crime.” Celebrities: they’re just like us!

Oops! She Crashed It Again [Slate]

Related: Foreign Imports Will Be The End Of Britney Spears

• In her new memoir, Auditions, Baba Wawa gives the dirt on Star Jones' and Rosie O'Donnell's departures from the View; On Rosie: "The premise of 'The View' is that of a team working together, but for Rosie it was more like Diana Ross and the Supremes, as little by little she took over." [NYDN]
  
• The problem with Miss Jones was not just her diva behavior (though Walters et. al. were embarrassed about her fiasco of a wedding to Big Gay Al) it was that Star made her View-mates lie about her gastric bypass. Walters writes: "Joy [Behar], in particular, resented having to go along with a lie that implied all one needed to do was situps and ingest one cookie instead of two."[NYDN]
  
• The septuagenarian Babs is so scandalous! She also talks about her adulterous affair with Massachusetts Senator Edward Brooke, the first black Senator since reconstruction. [NYDN]
  
• Jimi Hendrix's sex tape? A hoax, cries the company that owns the rights to Jimi's music. Sigh. We'll always have Cynthia Plaster Caster. [Reuters]
  
• Marilyn Monroe's sex tape? The FBI cries fake! It's amazing how many stars can issue denials from the grave. [MSNBC]

• Speaking of fake naked Marilyns, Lilo's alleged lady love Sam Ronson is suing the lawyers she hired to sue Perez Hilton for defamation. Sam Ron says the lawyers "grossly overcharged" her. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus is skipping a Disney appearance in Orlando the wake of her Vanity Fair sorta nudie pics. She didn't want Mickey Mouse's ears to turn red. [Yahoo]
• Pete Doherty: getting out of the pokey today. The Babyshambles frontman spent 29 days in jail, and according to a friend, Petey will "go straight to play a gig — and then get smashed," upon his release. Oy. [The Sun]
• More on Star Jones! NBA star Dwyane Wade denied a romantic relationship with the much-older Jones, saying they're "just friends" on the TNT show Inside the NBA. Inside co-host and consummate gentleman Charles Barkley added, "I like Star. She's a cougar." [AP via Yahoo]
• Uma Thurman took the stand yesterday in a lawsuit against her stalker, Jack Jordan. Thurman said Jordan's persistent letters, phone calls and visits made her fear for her life. Poor Uma! [UPI]
• Pam Anderson Lee Rock Salomon is holding an estate sale for her Malibu pad before she retires to Vancouver. She is selling a jacuzzi, among other things. Might want to steer clear of it — I hear the skeeze of Rick Salomon is water soluble. [E! Online]
• The Mariah/ Nick Cannon wedding — reportedly no pre-nup! If Cannon ever tries to lay claim to Mariah's vast collection of Hello Kitties, you know she'll have her unicorn cut him. [Perez]
• Even though Britney still doesn't have custody of her kids, she will spend Mother's Day with wee Jayden James and Sean Preston. Aw. [MSNBC]
• This headline says it all: "Rob Lowe's ex-nanny discusses her countersuit, cries." [AP via Yahoo]

• Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend had better be a really good lay, cause the kid has an infidelity prob that isn't, it turns out, restricted to his behavior around the irresistible Helen of Troy reincarnation that is Sara Kova. [Rush & Molloy)
• We like that Ike Turner, who just spent the night in jail over an eighteen-year-old warrant that wasn't even valid, is all: "Hey, no one's perfect, I'm not mad about it." But seriously, this is the most depressing case of cops harassing a black male even though he's famous since, uh, last month when ?uestlove got interrogated by the DEA. [TMZ]
• Nicole and Joel Madden broken up? But just last week the tabs were talking marriage! However could two mature adults change their minds so very very rapidly? [PerezHilton]
• Marilyn Manson on the end of his marriage: "Dita didn't understand the amount of pain I went through." Hmm, maybe she would have picked up on it if you'd given her some subtle visual clues, like wearing black all the time or looking really pale and gaunt? [Page Six]

• Charles Barkley: Who died and gave Al Sharpton the right to speak on behalf of all nappy headed hos? [Page Six]
• Of all the starlets who've slipped and fallen on their nine-inch heels, why did The Office's Jenna Fischer have to be the one to actually break multiple bones? Why not that ditz from The Hills? Why not Scarlett Fucking Johansson? [Page Six]