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The Tweet Heard Round The World
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Angua van der Woodsen
11/06/09

In reply to The Tweet Heard Round The World
I think part of the reason she's gotten so much shit over this is not just that she posted about her miscarriage, but that she posted about her miscarriage as a relief.

If the tweet had been along the lines of "Having miscarriage, but had to come into office for this meeting. Don't know if I can make it through" or something else that made it sound like she was grieving and balancing that with work, the discussion would be totally different if it even got picked up.

Yeah, she overshared, but she is so not the first or last person to overshare at work. She is, however, a woman who publicly did not regret losing a pregnancy and I think that, more than the appropriate or not debate, is why she's catching so much flack.
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Hiroine Protagonist promoted this comment Edited by Angua van der Woodsen at 11/06/09 10:16 PM

itsonreserve
11/06/09

In reply to The Tweet Heard Round The World
I don't think expressing a miscarriage to the public is necessarily equal to TMI. Yes, the baby was not wanted by Penelope, but her blog and personal politics deal with women in the workplace. If she is someone who sees the personal as political, she may be well aware that other women who do want the pregnancies they miscarry and may have already disclosed their pregnancy, making it necessary to tell nosey parties that they lost the baby, which is a taboo thing to do despite the fact that people will be asking. Based on the article and her writings, I feel she shared her experience to lighten the burden for others.

Furthermore, a miscarriage can be a serious medical problem sometimes. While I don't want to hear every gory detail, I don't mind being informed that a coworker is having a medical issue whether it's a heartbreaking one or a relief. I would not be very upset to be told someone missed a meeting for a stomach flu, a miscarriage shouldn't be any more stigmatized. #twitter
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clevernamehere
11/06/09

In reply to The Tweet Heard Round The World
Sex isn't dirty or shameful either, that doesn't mean I want to hear about it at work.

If a woman experiences a miscarriage as a death, I understand bringing it up at work. She may need some time off or a little understanding about her lack of focus.

But Truck was psyched about her miscarriage, which makes it an over share. She tweeted about it on her professional account for the scandal and really can't complain when people get annoyed. #twitter
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sensitivitycop
11/06/09

In reply to The Tweet Heard Round The World
Nothing that is a biological function should be shameful. But as one who has been the moral support of a spouse who has gone though miscarriage 3 times, I can say with authority that it can be an extremely painful and private matter. The author was fortunate to already have two children, but to people who have been unable to conceive, and who have endured the emotional scarring of miscarriages, there is nothing light, or, in the author's case humorously utilitarian, about miscarriage. Had my wife read this tweet I know she would have been confronted with terrible feelings of inadequacy - imagine the feelings of isolation and insecurity a childless woman might feel if she's made to feel that her pain and suffering is nothing more than a casual joke to those who are able to have children. The author has a right to say what she wants - I personally though it was pretty clever, and a fitting sting to the right to life group, but knowing what I know about the emotional pain a miscarriage can cause, the comment should have been saved for private conversation between people who have not suffered because of miscarriage - otherwise it was extremely insensitive. #twitter
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Valkyrie607
11/06/09

In reply to The Tweet Heard Round The World
It's sort a misleading quote, where Trunk asks why a miscarriage is too private to discuss at work. It seems as if a lot of people didn't read the article and are basing their comments entirely off of the teaser quote. It's a question worth asking, but she didn't actually bring her miscarriage up at work, rather she tweeted it to people who choose to subscribe to her feed.

Here I'm wondering if the question even really is worth asking because in the end it depends: on you, on your workplace, on the circumstances... I shared more personal stuff with my co-workers at the small non-profit I used to work for than I would as a data entry technician for JPMorgan.

I personally would be much more interested in following up on the other question Trunk asked, which is: why is everyone so goldurned het up about a miscarriage, when the truly outrageous part of her tweet is the 3-week waiting period imposed on women seeking abortions in Wisconsin?
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NellMood promoted this comment Edited by Valkyrie607 at 11/06/09 6:30 PM Valkyrie607 was starred Valkyrie607 was unstarred

NellMood
11/06/09

@Valkyrie607: I think it was clarified that there isn't actually a 3 week waiting period, but that it took three weeks for her to get an appointment. Still awful, but not as awful as a mandatory waiting period of almost would be.
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Edited by NellMood at 11/06/09 6:32 PM NellMood was starred NellMood was unstarred

Valkyrie607
11/06/09

@NellMood: True, true, I didn't mean to imply that it was The Law imposing the wait. Only circumstances, which can be even less forgiving than the law... #twitter
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nora charles
11/06/09

@Valkyrie607: Eh, but her twitter essentially IS her work. A huge portion of her job is social networking, and a lot of what she writes about is how to use the internet in conjunction with your job. Most of the people following her on twitter are doing so for professional reasons, not personal ones. If it were a personal blog rather than a professional one, the fallout would, of course, been much smaller. #twitter
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TheExperience
11/06/09

In reply to The Tweet Heard Round The World
I think a lot of the debate here stems from the fact that the Tweet sounds very flip, whether she meant it to or not. Like - "In a board meeting. Had some bad coffee this morning. Can't wait to get out of here." If she wasn't enthusiastic about this pregnancy, then that's her business, but the language chosen and choice of time to discuss her miscarriage is a bit more uncommon. #twitter
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ihateyourescalade
11/06/09

@TheExperience: Bingo. #twitter
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applejuice
11/06/09

@TheExperience: I have read that she has Aspergers. I imagine that it affects how she expresses things and how she reads other people. When I read that Tweet I thought "Classic autistic spectrum, she is not understanding how people will socially react to this." #twitter
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applejuice
11/06/09

In reply to The Tweet Heard Round The World
Something that I am not seeing discussed regarding this story is the fact that Trunk has publically said in the past that she has Apergers and that has trouble navigating social "niceties".

My first thought was that maybe she genuinely doesn't realise how other people are going to react to the things she does and maybe doesn't process things in the way others do. #twitter
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ihateyourescalade
11/06/09

@applejuice: And yet she gets a public forum. Sigh. #twitter
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Cerridwen
11/06/09

@ihateyourescalade: Are you really saying that people with Asperger's should not be allowed to speak publicly? Please tell me that you are not. #twitter
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ihateyourescalade
11/06/09

@Cerridwen: I'm not. I do, however, think too many people who have trouble navigating social niceties (because of Asperger's or more likely just plan old boorishness) have public forums these days. I prefer listening to people who are adept at navigating the social niceties.
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Edited by ihateyourescalade at 11/06/09 7:00 PM ihateyourescalade was starred

NellMood
11/06/09

@ihateyourescalade: I'm still finding your comment troubling, even with the qualification. I don't think you can fairly compare Asperger's with "boorishness." #twitter
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Cerridwen
11/06/09

@ihateyourescalade: But it is different with someone who is willfully ignorant or a jerk being given an undeserved public platform. Someone with Asperger's didn't choose to be born that way and denying them a public voice because they struggle with social niceties is really not ok. #twitter
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StephanieBoland
11/06/09

@ihateyourescalade: I have Asperger's and that comment really stung. I have a lot of interesting things to contribute; I'm lucky in that I'm good at social niceties, but a lot of people with relevant things to say don't. I'd hope that most people would be able to at least sympathize, if not empathize, and make allowance for the left-of-field expression. You're entitled of course to listen to whoever you want, but the implication I read in your comment was 'too many people with those symptoms of Asperger's have a chance to speak to an audience', which is pretty disgusting to my ears. Please do let me know if I've read it wrongly. #twitter
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ihateyourescalade
11/06/09

@Cerridwen: I would never deny someone with Asperger's, including the two people with Asperger's whom I know personally, a public voice. I specifically said that in my original response. If somehow I didn't communicate that well, though, apologies. #twitter
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ihateyourescalade
11/06/09

@NellMood: I did not intend to equate the two. I was only doing it in reference to the original comment, in which applejuice said that Trunk has described herself as having trouble with social niceties. I was really only lamenting that so many boors (and I do not include those with Asperger's in this category--just regular old people with no manners or tact) seem to get public attention these days. It was not at all meant to condemn anyone with Asperger's. So, I apologize.
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Edited by ihateyourescalade at 11/06/09 7:47 PM ihateyourescalade was starred

ihateyourescalade
11/06/09

@StephanieBoland: You have. I promise. Please see my other responses below. I have two friends with Asperger's and they are two of the most interesting and smartest people I know. In fact, I think they should have a public forum. #twitter
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jayne.willoughby
11/06/09

In reply to The Tweet Heard Round The World
The grief of a miscarriage is often disenfranchised. Why are we squemish about this kind of loss? Maybe it's considered too private because it makes others uncomfortable and involves a uterus.
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ihateyourescalade
11/06/09

@jayne.willoughby: I think sometimes people who haven't been pregnant (or aren't trying to get pregnant), or who don't want children don't understand what the big deal is. It's too bad. Miscarriage can be terrible and affect women for years, or forever. #twitter
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ms.fortune
11/07/09

@jayne.willoughby: anything that is tied to women's reproductive systems makes people squeamish. And miscarriages happen in our dirty female parts so it falls into squeamish territory.

I think like most things - if we talked about them more - maybe they would not be as painful.

And the word "miscarriage" - I hate that word. It implies that someone did something wrong. I was supposed to carry a baby and I messed it up.

Or "lost the baby". I didn't lose the baby - I know where it is.

Or "spontaneous abortion", which is the technical term. Makes it sound like your body just randomly kills babies or something.

I'm actually having a miscarriage right now. It takes a few days. I've had a shit week, and wonder if it would be better if I could tell people what I was going through. I don't know the answer. But having it be a "private" matter does feel like it is something that I need to hide.

Maybe hide them from having to think about my lady parts. But also maybe hide them from having to think about my pain. #twitter
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curiousgeorgiana
11/06/09

In reply to The Tweet Heard Round The World
Of course it's not shameful! My menstrual cycle is not shameful either-- nor is my ear wax, but I don't discuss them in a professional setting. #twitter
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Penny
11/06/09

In reply to The Tweet Heard Round The World
"Too private" is not synonymous to "dirty/evil/shameful." Everyone has different privacy barometers. #twitter
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moonwalking
10/08/09

In reply to Character Study
In an interview, Essman stated that people often approach her on the street and ask her to cuss them out, Susie Greene-style. And she quite often obliges.
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
10/08/09

In reply to Character Study
i like her style, which is, of course, an illusion
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Highsmith
10/08/09

In reply to Character Study
Larrrrrrayyyy! YOU FOUR EYED FUCK!!!
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willwriteforfood
10/08/09

In reply to Character Study
I love Susie Greene as a character in a (slightly) fictionalized TV show. I love that she is blunter than just about anyone in putting Larry in his place and she'll just go from 0 to 60 mph so her dialogue is like, "Hey Larry, whatcha doin'?...Oh yeah, fuck you, Larry!"

But Susie Greene would be one scary-ass person to be around in real life. You could only trail in her wake, never lead. Susie Essman, however, rocks.
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ritualtheory
10/08/09

In reply to Character Study
I love Susie Essman. She's like my loud, brash, unselfconscious, shameless shadow self.
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