[New York, December 14. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• A photo has surfaced of Jessica Simpson out with Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins on Friday night. A source says they're "officially dating... she has fallen hard and is smitten."

• Another source says her posse isn't excited about her latest beau. "He's just another in an endless string of Jessica's boyfriends," says the source. "They think he's too old for her. No one takes any of her boyfriends seriously anymore because she has had so many. They're sick of all of them being 'the one.'" [E!]
• Elin Nordegren's mother, Barbro Holmberg, was identified as the woman rushed to the hospital from Tiger Woods' home this morning. She's at home now, resting comfortably. [Extra]
• TMZ obtained the dispatch notes from the 911 call from Tiger Woods' home today, which contain nothing interesting. [TMZ]
• According to a source at the hospital, Barbro Holmberg was suffering from stomach pains. [TNZ]
• Gatorade is shutting down production of Tiger Woods Focus Gatorade, but a rep insists, "We made the decision several months ago... our relationship with Tiger continues." [TMZ]
• Star claims Elin Nordegren confronted Tiger Woods' mistress Rachel Uchitel twice before Thanksgiving. A friend of Rachel's says, "Rachel denied she had an affair with Tiger, and told her, ‘I've walked your husband to a table at [a NYC night club] Griffin, made sure everything was OK, and that's the extent of our relationship. It's ridiculous and crazy that people are saying that I slept with him.'" The second time she told Rachel, "I know everything," then threw her cell phone at Tiger. [Star]
• According to the dispatch log from Tiger Woods' SUV crash, Tiger's agent called the Florida Highway Patrol on the day after the accident to reschedule a meeting because, "He's still too sore from the accident." [TMZ]
• Dennis Rodman weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal saying, "I think people expect me to do it, you know, it's just Dennis. But Tiger, that's a different story... People expect him to be this loving husband and this loving father, and this, you know, when you have that much money and that much power, of course all the hoodrats and everybody is just gonna come all out of the woodwork." [Ok]
• This article blames Alexa Ray Joel's alleged suicide attempt on her mother, Christie Brinkley. She had just come back from vacation with her mom and a source claims, "They have knock-down, drag-out fights regularly over issues relating to Billy Joel." A former family employee adds, "She would tell Alexa that her father was an alcoholic and that she had her father's genes and that she might be an alcoholic, too." [NY Post]
• Showbiz 411 insists that the Post story isn't true and points to an upbeat postcard from Turks and Caicos as proof that "Alexa had a great family holiday." Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley's ex-husband, may be the source of the negative stories. [Showbiz 411]
• Sources say Mickey Rourke will marry his 24-year-old Russian girlfriend Elena Kuletskaya in April. "They haven't booked a venue or made any solid plans. He just knows he wants to do it in April, and he's been asking what is involved in a traditional Russian wedding ceremony," says a source. [Daily Express]
• Though Elton John and his partner David Furnish are not allowed to adopt an HIV-positive Ukrainian toddler because the country does not recognize gay unions, they are working to make sure the boy and his brother "have the best health care, education and family options available to them." [AP]
• Madonna said she wound up giving her daughter Lourdes a bigger role in her "Celebration" music video because, "She's been doing rhythmic gymnastics for years and she's very flexible, she's a great dancer... it was one of those fluke things. We didn't intend for her to be in the video. We did intend for her to be in the part where she dresses up for the costumes, that we planned, but the other one where she was just dancing with the dancers... she's very friendly with the dancers and they kind of dragged her into it and you know, it was just a small little piece. It's great, she's a show girl." [Daily Express]
• Madonna says she doesn't know if her kids would rather have a "normal life," and "Anyways they don't have a choice, they're stuck with the mother they have and I think they realise there are pluses and minuses to it. I think sometimes they'd like to walk down the street and just feel like normal kids and that happens, and other times, you know, they get great bonuses and perks out of being my children and they know it and they're very grateful and appreciative for it." [Daily Express]
• Kate Gosselin says her kids are distraught over not being on TV anymore. Kate says: "They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day. I finally admitted to them, they kept asking, 'Where's the camera crew? Where's the camera crew? We miss them.' And I said, 'Our show is over.' ...Eight sobbing kids driving home from school." [Us]
• Kate Gosselin spent more than three hours serving food at a Raleigh, North Carolina restaurant as cameras filmed her. Her bodyguard Steve Neild told reporters to leave and said she was shooting a test segment for a future program. [WRAL]
• Pauly Shore is suing his brother and accusing him of elder abuse. Pauly claims their mother has been "rendered susceptible to unscrupulous behavior and other undue influence because of her condition," and says his brother improperly removed him from the board of directors as The Comedy Store in Hollywood. [Radar Online]
• Bryant Gumbel has lung cancer and had a malignant tumor removed from his chest last month. "We had told a few people, we told my family, obviously. I even kept it from my staff at Real Sports. So I'm okay for the time being," he said. "I'm hoping they greenlight me to play golf again." [People]
• Though former Geffen Records executive John Kalodner says Lenny Kravitz should take over for Steven Tyler in Aerosmith. Kravitz says, "As much as I am flattered that Aerosmith's camp would consider me to front the band, Steven Tyler is a family friend, and no voice could ever take the place of his. I hope the band stays together. They are classic." [Daily Express]
• David Guest just realized taking Michael Jackson's advice about cosmetic surgery was a bad idea. "I had surgery when I was very young and it was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Michael Jackson kept saying, 'You should have plastic surgery.' I got my nose done and he said, 'Do more, do more!' It was stupid," he said. "If I had my way, I'd go back to my original big nose with a bit of a hook in it. It looked great." [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal has been visiting Redmond O'Neal every week in rehab. "Redmond and Ryan are working on their relationship. Both of them are working towards a positive and healthy father and son relationship," says a source. [Radar Online]
• In the 911 call David Hasselhoff's daughter Hayley made on Thanksgiving weekend she says: "My dad just ... he's collapsed. He's standing up but he keeps falling back down ... But then he got back up and he's fine. It's kind of scaring me." [People]
• Nicole Kidman says she likes to focus on her health rather than how much she weighs. "As Keith's a musician there are pitstops at Wendy's" she says, "But I'm six-foot tall, so it's not weight that's an issue for me, but things like cholesterol." [People]
• In the 911 call made when Brittany Murphy's husband Simon Monjack was taken to the hospital from LAX last month, the caller says he "stopped breathing" but they "revived him." [TMZ]
• Bob Geldof attacked the U.K. family court for conducting "state-sanctioned kidnap" by holding closed custody hearings, adding: "In the near future the family law under which we endure will be seen as barbaric, criminally damaging, abusive, neglectful; harmful to society, the family, the parents and the children in whose name it purports to act." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand says it was easy for him to win over Katy Perry's parents because, ''They love the old school Englishness. There's a thing where the mom said 'Nothing's impossible', and I went, 'well, of course, Nelson Mandela said that everything is impossible until it's done', and she went, 'Oh', and she really enjoyed that... Obviously when I heard that my girlfriend had preacher parents, I thought, 'well, this has got a huge scope for disaster' but it's actually been quite good so far." [The Telegraph]
• Justin Bobby, Speidi, Kristin Cavallari, and Audrina Patridge will be back for The Hills sixth season according to an MTV spokesperson. [People]
• Mel Gibson's estranged wife Robyn Gibson has filed court papers requesting to see copies of his Directors Guild and Screen Actors Guild health and pension plans. [Radar Online]
• Travis Barker has settled his lawsuit against defendants over the plane crash he was injured in. [TMZ]
• Celine Dion says she's going to keep trying IVF even though it turned out she wasn't pregnant this summer. "We have a wonderful child, we're extremely happy," she said. "It's not like, 'Oh my god, she's not pregnant and she's depressed,' " she continues. "You know how it works. We are great. We hope for the best, we hope to get pregnant. If it happens, it happens." [People]
• Shakira says she owes her success to her parents taking her to the park to show her kids worse off than her on the day they declared bankruptcy. "That day I made myself a promise," she said. "I promised that I would someday succeed to vindicate my parents' social and economic position. But I also wanted to do something about those kids I saw so abandoned by the state, abandoned to their own luck, without any chances to change their destinies." [CNN]
• When asked how she got into character as the grandmother of a dead girl in The Lovely Bones, Susan Sarandon said, "I drank and smoked and partied down. No, I didn't do that. I think I probably had the easiest job of anyone, because I was going against all the really difficult feelings and trying to keep everybody moving forward and remembering to live and letting the light in, literally. Plus, I was always drinking and smoking, so I have lots of props - so it was actually pretty fun." [NY Magazine]
• Sigourney Weaver says of her new film Avatar, "You won't have seen anything like it. This film is going to change the way we look at movies. The whole movie is in 3-D, even normal scenes between two people. So you feel you're in the room with these characters. You're always in the best seat in the house." [The Telegraph]
• Of being called the "Bear Jew" in Inglourious Basterds, Eli Roth says, "Well it's funny because I've always been compared to some sort of animal. On Cabin Fever they called me hair director. On Hostel one of the Czech extras saw me in a tank top and casually referred to me as Gorilka" which is Slovak for gorilla. So from that point on, it was over. Everyone was always, "Where's Gorilka? We need Gorilka on set! There was a girl who nicknamed me wolfie, so I've always been compared to some sort of furry animal. So I just embraced it — and Bear Jew felt like the natural evolution." [N.Y. Post]
• Viggo Mortensen makes a good point about why we shouldn't underestimate Sarah Palin: "I think it would be unwise to dismiss her because she is foolish and misinformed. People say there's no way she will hold any significant office, in Congress, or as president. Don't be so sure. I notice she's starting to sound relatively eloquent in that superficial way she has: ‘We gotta cut taxes and we can't keep penalizing small business'-that same old litany. She's not saying anything significant but she's stringing the words together and she's not just saying, ‘Aw shucks, I just killed a moose in Alaska.' She's stringing the words together as well as George W. Bush did in the beginning... They realized they couldn't make [Bush] sound like somebody who actually read books and cared about how he sounded-even though he had the benefits of the best possible education. It just wasn't interesting to him to sound like he made sense and to speak English anywhere near well. But what they did, very cleverly, is say, OK, he's just like us. He makes mistakes when he says stuff; he's a regular guy. And I can see the same thing happening with Palin. So do not underestimate her ability. She's not going away." [The Daily Beast]

• Some people were offended by the jokes Alex Borstein made about Marlee Matlin's speaking voice on Sunday's Family Guy special. She says, "It was sick. It was twisted. It was rude... and I was glad to be part of it."

• "People love [Seth MacFarlane's] stuff. They don't pay him the big bucks for nothing," Matlin wrote in an email. "I want to do it again and BE the voice. BTW, it only would've been offensive if I hadn't laughed and I loved that you couldn't quite figure out if I was seriously angry at Alex or not!" [Hollywood Insider]
• Jon Voight says he and Angelina Jolie have reconciled. "We're in touch, but not regularly," he says. "We love each other and that's the most important thing." [Us]
• "Amy Winehouse is addicted to table tennis." [Mirror]
• John Travolta, who recently started playing tennis, says, "I play at midnight... Kind of vampire style." [People]
• The Twilight kids are on the cover of Entertainment Weekly this week and in the mag Taylor Lautner says, "Jacob and Bella are so open, and they can tell each other everything. So it was very important for me and Kristen to grow very close before doing this." [Just Jared]
• "The highlight of playing Jane [in New Moon]was getting to wear the costume and the red contact lenses and to play an evil character," says Dakota Fanning. "I think red eyes make everyone look very evil." [L.A.T.]
• If you want to watch Robert Pattinson talk about his facial hair, check out this video: [Pop Sugar]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have written a book called How To Be Famous: Our Guide to Looking the Part, Playing the Press and Becoming a Tabloid Fixture. [Ok]
• In the video at the link, Robert Halderman's lawyer explains that he wasn't trying to blackmail David Letterman, he was just giving him the right of first refusal on his screenplay. [TMZ]
• David Letterman's lawyer says he's "absolutely" ready to testify against Robert Halderman and is "fully prepared to see this case through to the end." [CBS News]
• Sad news: Though Celine Dion announced she was pregnant this summer, it was a misdiagnosis. Her husband Rene Angelil said, "We're living the reality of the majority of couples who face these procreation techniques." [Us]
• Sources say TLC's lawyers are watching all of Jon Gosselin's TV appearances so they can run a tab on how much money he's making since he allegedly violated his contract with the network. [TMZ]
• Shanna Moakler says she's "looking forward to seeing" Carrie Prejean's sex tape. [TMZ]
• Last night Susan Boyle sang on DWTS and got to meet her idol, Donny Osmond. "It is quite something to be in Hollywood," she explains. "This is a world I've never seen before and never dreamt that I would get to see," said Boyle, who added that Hollywood is, "Nothing a woman like me was used to. I have found Americans to be incredibly warm and friendly and very open." [People]
• Susan Boyle says after she became famous, "There were phone calls 24 hours a day. They kept me awake for three weeks, until I changed my number. It was constant... "It got to the stage where I couldn't even go outside because the media - American television crews, too - surrounded the house... Everything had built up, and I was exhausted. You have to understand, my life ceased to be normal." [Show Biz Spy]
• Joey Lawrence and his wife Chandie Yawn-Nelson are expecting their second child. [Us]
• Mickey Rourke says after his divorce from Carre Otis, "I don't want to live with an actress again, no matter how they look. I'm working opposite Megan Fox and Eva Green next, and I'm certainly not complaining. But I'll tell you, once bitten..." [Daily Express]
• Though Steven Tyler played with Aerosmith on Tuesday, Joe Perry says he still doesn't know if that means he's staying in the band. "I was totally surprised. I had no idea he was going to show up," said Perry. "All I know is we walked off stage and were sitting taking our break [before] the encore and there was a bunch of commotion and I looked up and Steven was there." [People]
• Halle Berry says she decided to get involved with Jenesse Center, a L.A. domestic violence shelter, because, "My mother was a battered woman and that was my childhood for a good chunk of it... I care, I really care about these women and children." [Us]
• John Cusack on being called an "everyman": "I've been called worse, but I'm not the best person to ask about that. I think it's a compliment if it's sort of a leading-man type compliment. You get the audience to sympathize with you ... it's kind of a cool thing to be an 'everyman' I guess." [BlackBook Magazine]
• Ian McKellen says sometimes gay actors ask him for advice about coming out and he says, "When I act, some people fancy me and some of them are women. There we are! What's the problem? They don't believe me when I say I am in love with a woman?...They don't believe me when I say I am a wizard? They believe me even though they know I am not. It's all nonsense. Everyone knows we are acting." [Reuters]
• Tori Amos says she did a lot of research before recording her holiday album Midwinter Graces because, "In order to make this kind of record and to have it work, I needed to know what the carol writers were doing, then you need to know the theology of where it came from in order to change it. I did change it in making it more inclusive rather than exclusive. Because some of these lyrics were written, it was in a very puritanical time. Women had no rights, they couldn't vote. Some of the music would've been fifteenth century." [N.Y. Magazine]
• You can stop holding your breath — Pamela Anderson says she'll never rekindle her romance with Tommy Lee again. "You can't get heartbroken any more over all the disappointments or how he is as a father or anything like that. He doesn't think he's doing anything wrong. I do tell him the truth, but it's been 10 years of suffering over him so I'm over it," she says. "Whatever it is, it is - as long as my kids are happy and we're happy and we're safe, let him run around the world. I support him." [New]
• Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones has been very openly dating much younger women for over a year, but his wife Jo Wood just filed divorce papers accusing him of adultery. [TMZ]
• "I definitely keep myself secret," says Leona Lewis. "I went on a show watched by millions of people, so this might sound ridiculous, but I had no desire to be famous, and I still don't. I have this media persona – "She's a shy girl, really nice" – but you can't get to know someone like that. Unless you talk to me every day, you're not really going get a sense of me." [The Telegraph]
• James Franco says he doesn't think he can study in Columbia University's Butler Library anymore. He explains: "Last night I went in, I went into the restroom and this guy was in there and he's mumbling like, 'You're James Franco, right?' I'm like, 'Yeah, how's it going?' Basically, he said he was annoyed with me that I came to the library and that there are girls in the library. He didn't express himself. I think what he meant was that he thought I came to the library to meet young girls and he said it wasn't fair. And I tried to apologize for any disruption my presence had, but he was still annoyed. So I left and I went to the writing building, which is a little more private, but I have to sit there alone in the dark." [Gothamist]
• Jason Schwartzman, whose mom is Talia Shire, said, "I think it's an amazing thing that two words like 'Yo, Adrian' have been so unforgotten. People yell it out when you achieve something, or you've spent a lot of energy and you accomplish something. You yell it out like, 'I did it!' Growing up a lot of kids didn't know my mom [Talia Shire] was in Rocky. And we'd go to P.E. class and we'd have to go jogging; everyone would run up stairs and all the kids would yell it out. They didn't even know my mom was in the movie. It made me feel kind of awkward but also kind of so happy." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Hip-hop artists are "completely gay-friendly. Are you kidding me? Look at how they dress!" said Fergie. "Kanye West really did a great thing for hip-hop and made it very mixed and open." [MTV]

• Dina Lohan is pissed that Michael Lohan keeps leaking recordings of Dina and Lindsay's phone calls to him. "The tapes were from a long time ago, and for a father to stoop this low is unforgivable," she says. And:

"My ex-husband has been in and out of jail for 10 years. My children and I gave him a chance to get to know them again, and he clearly blew that chance!" And: "I have had a criminal order of protection from the domestic violence sector since 2005. He was not supposed to even be harassing me by phone." Lastly, if you're still listening: "My heart is breaking for my children that he could do this. He has no visitation anymore and is six months behind in child support. The authorities have been alerted!" [E!]

• Hey, guess what? Michael Lohan has released another recording of a phone conversation between himself and Dina Lohan. She blames him for Lindsay cutting herself, and says: "It's bad." And Dina believes that "something's gonna happen" and it'll be all Michael's fault. [Radar Online]
• Rosie O'Donnell and Megan Fox are afraid of Angelina Jolie. Kristen Stewart says she doesn't want to be like Angelina Jolie. This column asks, Is Hollywood turning on Angelina Jolie? Eh, do you think she gives a shit? [MSNBC Scoop]
• This daytime noir Donnie Darko-esque promo for James Franco on General Hospital is kind of fucking awesome. "Anyone can die at anytime!" [NY Magazine]
• Miss J says of his 7-year-old son: "He insists on wearing nice shoes. I think somehow my fashion genes must have slipped in there." [Us Magazine]
• Kate Hudson is "pushing" A-Rod to elope. Because that's what women do! [Gatecrasher]
• Rihanna spent more than $50,000 to fly her family to New York from Barbados for the Glamour Awards. [Page Six]
• You can watch Rihanna's speech from the Glamour Woman of the Year Awards at the link. A snippet: "Maya Angelou, I love you, but you make this terribly difficult for me." [YouTube]
• LOL headline of the day, via Russell Brand: "Katy Can't Do Your Show… She's Doing Me Instead." [The Sun]
• Kristen Stewart on those who ask whether she and Rob are an item: "The only way that I'm able to stay sane is to protect myself, and like, I know that it doesn't matter how you answer a question, it's going to tip. Someone's going to say, 'She's totally with him,' or, 'No, I don't think she is,' so it's sort of like, I don't care. You just have to seriously be like, have it, have it all. Take my, you know what I mean, just like, you want my shoes? Here you go, what size do you wear?" [ET]
• The 40-year-old women following Zac Efron around were just trying to get his picture for their daughters. No, really. [Page Six]
• Emma Thompson made some comments about her adopted Rwandan son had been subjected to racism at the University of Exeter, and now the Culture Secretary has said: "Miss Thompson is a great actress, but her comments about Exeter… are insulting… Any incidence of racism is one too many, but Exeter comes top or near top in every survey of places for friendliness and quality of life." [Telegraph]
• Sharon Stone was at a fancy Madison Avenue salon and used a private room; Queen Noor of Jordan was also there to get her hair done, but sat in the main area with the plebes. [Page Six]
• The David Letterman blackmail case is "all out war." [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's funeral bills are in. Total cost: $855,730.31. [TMZ]
• Janet Jackson, called here "the only Jackson who was flush with cash," fronted $49,000 for Michael Jackson's funeral. She'll be reimbursed via his estate, which will also pay the remaining balance. [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson, who was trying to object to Michael Jackson's will and executors, has been shut down by a judge. [TMZ]
• An Andy Warhol portrait of Michael Jackson sold for $812,000 in an auction last night. [NY Post]
• "Winona Ryder and Barry Pepper have been cast to star in the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie When Love Is Not Enough: The Lois Wilson Story." It's the true story of the co-founder of Al-Anon and her alcoholic husband, who lived the high life in the 1920s but a downfall by the 50s. [Variety]
• Playgirl wanted to shoot Levi Johnston in the penthouse of a certain downtown hotel but didn't have enough cash to pay the fee. [Page Six]
• Dominique Swain, who once posed for PETA, has reportedly been "caught" dumping unvaccinated puppies at an animal shelter. [ONTD, Fox 411]
• Heather Locklear's return to Melrose Place is a desperate attempt to get people to care. Is it working on you? Then check out this clip from the show in which Heather — playing Amanda — says, "When I hired you to give this place a makeover, I didn't mean smear it with lipstick and turn it into a five-dollar hooker." [People]
• Celine Dion is adding a "pool complex" to her home in Jupiter Island, Florida — with "two giant pools, waterslides and a lazy river, much like an amusement park." One neighbor complains: "Distasteful is what it looks like - the whole thing sounds like a Michael Jackson fairyland to me." [MSNBC Scoop via Life & Style]
• Some dude is suing Bon Jovi, Time Warner and Major League Baseball for $400 billion, yeah, BILLION, dollars. He claims that he wrote an ode to the Boston Red Sox entitled, "(Man I Really) Love this Team." During the 2007 playoffs, Bon Jovi released a song, "I Love This Town," and the guy took the case to court. One judge dismissed it, but the guy is appealing. [Reuters]
• George Lopez's new late night talk show debuted with strong ratings. Did anyone watch? I found it only mildly funny, with too many race jokes. But I didn't watch the whole thing. [Reuters]
• Steven Tyler supposedly quit Aerosmith, but last night he showed up at an NYC club for Joe Perry's show, announced he wasn't leaving Aerosmith, and joined in on "Walk This Way." My friend Matt says: "If anyone can save the future of Aerosmith by settling the feud between Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, it's got to be Tyler Perry." [Roger Friedman's 411.com] 
• Shakira hugged and 11-year-old fan and it is news. [Page Six]
• Sir Ian McKellan mocked Jude Law at a charity event; Jude swore, "I go home religiously every night after Hamlet." Sir Ian joked, "I guess the night I saw you, you went home via [popular NYC nightclub] the Box." [La Dolce Musto]
• Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks have broken up. [People]
• "A rare collection of Beatles autographs and photographs, given to a 14-year-old who traipsed across Salisbury plain in the rain to catch a glimpse of her heroes on the set of Help!, sold for £2,200 at auction in Berkshire yesterday." [Guardian]
• Rod Stewart, father of seven, is trying to have another baby with wife Penny Lancaster. Forever young? [People]
• Whatshername will be on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here but arrive late and earn five times more cash than other contestants. [The Sun]
• "I think there's a lot of persuasive and powerful people around Obama. For a president to make his own decisions, I think that's a rarity. Even someone who we think of as our guy — this is a guy with integrity, a guy who cares, for the first time in a long time — in the Oval Office, even with him we don't really know who's pulling the strings. I think of every president as being a marionette. Whether he's any different, I don't know. Certainly his military advisers all want him to prosecute this war to the end, just as they did in Vietnam with LBJ. It's just too depressing, I think we're going to have to hit the streets. Obama has the chance of becoming JFK or LBJ. I think JFK was one of our last great presidents, although I thought Carter was pretty great too. LBJ could have been a great president if he hadn't gotten bogged down in war, but that was quite a war to get bogged down in. Notwithstanding the fact that the war was wrong and they were talking about the Red Scare and the domino effect, if you go and read the Pentagon Papers they were also talking about rubber, tin and oil. They killed two and a half million people. What was it all for? In Korea they killed four and a half million. Like, we're liberating these people?" — Woody Harrelson plays a soldier in his intense new film The Messenger and, at the link, has lots of thoughts about war, death, the military and President Obama. [Salon]
• "They got in trouble because my children are riding their dirt bikes through the whole trailer park, going crazy, doing flips — and everyone's concerned for their safety. And mom's like, 'Oh, they've been riding the whole weekend, they're having a blast!' I was like, 'They're not allowed to ride their dirt bikes in the trailer park!' They terrorize the neighborhood the whole time." — Pamela Anderson's sons — 13 and 11 — are tiny terrors. [Contact Music]
• "I don't have to play scenes with actors standing on buckets." — Sigourney Weaver, 6 feet tall, says that she doesn't believe her height has ever intimidated leading men. [Telegraph]
• "I had a great time with Hef and the girls when they came to see Peepshow and hang out in Vegas.  I don't watch the other episodes though, because it kind of makes me mad. The girls need to focus on what makes them unique and not doing the same things Bridget, Kendra and I have already done on the show.  Even camping in the backyard was an idea I had for an episode that we never got around to shooting.  And guess what they just showed? The girls camping in the backyard.  I don't want to look behind, I want to look forward." — Holly Madison is annoyed by the new Girls Next Door. [Fox 411]
• "I don't know that [Oprah] and Gayle are necessarily doing each other, but I think they are the emotional equivalent of.. [a gay couple]. When they did that road trip, that's as gay as it gets, and I don't mean it to be an insult, either. I'm just saying, listen, if you ask me, that's the couple." — Rosie O'Donnell. [ONTD via Times Of The Internet]
• "These jeans are a few days old, but the top is probably fresh because it gets to the point where even I can't stand the air around me. I don't know, my personal hygiene - it's so disgusting! Really it's just that I have very few clothes that I like and I'm travelling all the time, so I can't really get any more." — we get it, Robert Pattinson, you're filthy. [MSNBC via New! magazine]
• "I love clothes, and fashion is a great art form. Being a woman and my femininity are very important to me. But with my work I have to check my preferences at the door and personify the character I am playing as best I can. Your character isn't who you are. That's the great thing about my job. I get to step into somebody else's shoes – whether that's a pair of flat brogues or some stilettos." — Hilary Swank. [Daily Mail]
• "I'd love to have kids… But I'm much to young to get married." — Shakira. [Gatecrasher]
• "The funny thing is that I was very open and honest about [my bisexuality] from the very beginning, and everyone was acting like it was some new trend. Go back four or five years, people, and you'll see the same answer. I've been very honest with him from the get-go. I think women are beautiful. I've had a lot of fun with women, and I'm not ashamed of it. The problem is that I also love a well-endowed man. But just because I enjoy women doesn't mean I'm allowed to have affairs in my relationship. I learned through talking with my therapist that it is still cheating even if it's with girls, so there is a rule there." — Fergie. [Us Magazine via The Advocate, Page Six]
• "Lady Gaga stole your act." — President Obama to Cyndi Lauper. [La Dolce Musto]

Later on in the show, while plugging her new memoir, Official Book Club Selection, Kathy ran down the list of which celebrities are and are not speaking to her. (It seems safe to say Kate Gosselin is now in the latter category.) While she's still friends with Lance Bass and Anderson Cooper, it seems Clay Aiken doesn't enjoy the nickname "Gaiken" and Celine Dion doesn't like Kathy implying that she had sex with her husband when she was nine. As for Paula Abdul, Kathy says, "She may not be aware of who she's talking to."

• Nene of Real Housewives Of Atlanta has written an autobiography called Never Make The Same Mistake Twice. She gets real snippy about her "friend" Kim Zolciak, saying:

"I'm not sure if she's been clinically diagnosed, but I'm convinced that if she were to lie down on a doctor's couch, a psychiatrist could surmise within minutes that Kim is a wack job. [Kim] without question [is] the most superficial person I have ever come across in my life. If Kim doesn't have labels and nice cars and an expensive home, she will literally die ... gag me with two spoons." [Gatecrasher]

• Unsolicited uterus update: Celine Dion is pregnant with her second child, and this report states that she "conceived with the help of a team of fertility doctors." [Montreal Gazette]
• Sparkle vamp Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart went to a Kings Of Leon show and nuzzled, cuddled, and just generally had some close contact. All together now: ZOMG Twilight is real. [MSNBC]
• The Brad-Pitt-is-a-pot-connoisseur rumors persist; this time Quentin Taratino claims Pitt pulled out a brick of hash when they were in France to discuss making Inglourious Basterds. [Perez]
• So you know how Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart are naked on video with another chick? Dane and Gayheart are planning to sue. [TMZ]
• Eric Dane's lawyer says: "Although the participants are nude, the tape is not a 'sex tape.'" [People]
• Eric Dane and Kari Ann Peniche, the third woman on the video, both say they did not have sex with each other. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan didn't look happy to see her father at an event Saturday night. When questioned about it, she said: "I'm closer to my mother." And! Michael Lohan has backed off of his intense criticism of Samantha Ronson: "I was misled by people who had their own agenda," he says. "I was wrong and I'm very sorry. I wish the best for them." [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin's girlfriend Hailey Glassman has some pretty choice quotes in this E! interview. She says: "I have lost my happiness through this all… I've been the sacrificial lamb in this situation." And! She calls TLC "the lying channel." On Kate Major: "Cuckoo, cuckoo," She also says: "It's a dirty, dirty world. Bamboozling, this world. I didn't know any of this would happen. If I wanted fame, don't you think I would be out all the time? I stay in my house. I've been staying home with my parents because I feel safe there." [E!]
• Paula Abdul is in "talks" about returning to American Idol. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Reports that Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron are engaged: Not true. [Mirror]
• Blair Waldorf Leighton Meester seen dancing on a table. [Page Six]
• Ugly Betty cutie Mark Indelicato, 15 (he plays Justin) showed designer Carolina Herrera some sketches for a denim line he's planning to create during a tour of her showroom. She offered him an internship on the spot. [Gatecrasher]
• The creepy character charged with attempting to stalk Miley Cyrus — and who told a cop he was "secretly engaged" to marry her — will be in court today. [AP]
• Amy Winehouse is packing up the weavehive and heading to Miami, where she'll finally finish her third album. If the U.S. lets her in, that is. [The Sun]
• Uh-oh: Katherine Jackson is thinking about filing a wrongful death suit concerning son Michael Jackson. Target of the lawsuit? Dr. Conrad Murray. [TMZ]
• "Heath Ledger's Joker 'exacerbates stereotypes about mental health'…
  Heath Ledger's Oscar-winning depiction of the Joker in the latest Batman film gives the public the wrong impression of people with mental health problems, charities have warned." [Telegraph]
• During a U2 concert, Bono called his Bosnian passport one of his most treasured possessions. He got it in 1997 when U2 performed in Sarajevo. Now Bosnia's Council of Ministers would like to take it away. [Telegraph]
• Alaskans are mad at Jewel for canceling shows years ago. She's scheduled to perform there this week, but some residents are holding a grudge, saying she betrayed her state. [AP]
• James McAvoy will star in I'm With Cancer, alongside Seth Rogen, who is producing. [Variety]
• Rapper Bow Wow: officially out of retirement; officially joined the Cash Money record label, home of Lil' Wayne. [Reuters]
• John Cleese's divorce: £12 million settlement. [Telegraph]
• Paul Hogan made a movie and didn't pay his extras, say the extras. [News.com.au]
• Whatshisname wants Whatshername not to use the kids against him. [The Sun]
• Whatshername was voted most annoying celebrity Twitter user. [The Sun]
• "There are many times where even I, at certain points in the evening, after a few drinks, can't pronounce my own surname." — Milla Jovovich. [Daily Express]
• "I love acting with men. I tend to gravitate toward roles in movies where I get to be the only girl." — Zoe Saldana, who appeared in Star Trek and will be in James Cameron's Avatar. [Vanity Fair]
• "Yes, I was a stripper — let the judgments ensue. I'm not ashamed. What difference does it make if I danced or not? Is the sun going to stop shining? Is my past taking food out of your mouth? My son was in private school, his father wasn't chipping in for pull-ups or food, I had no job and no money coming in, the rent was past due, and the super told me and my roommate that our condo owner was about to put us out. It was about survival." — Nene, of Real Housewives Of Atlanta. [Gatecrasher]

• Tilda Swinton, one of the few celebrities who can actually pull off avant-gard fashion, looks predictably stunning on the cover of Another Magazine. [Stylefrizz]

• Also heralding the opening of London fashion week is Chloe Sevigny, who threw an opening party and showed her new collection for Opening Ceremony there this weekend. [UK Elle]
• The first show on the British Fashion Council's schedule, however, was a showcase of ethical fashion by a slew of different designers. Click through for another picture of models with TP in their hair. [Guardian]
• Tyson Beckford turned up to support the Central St. Martins fashion students showing at fashion week. [WWD]
• Giorgio Armani says he was totally kidding about that one time he called Dolce & Gabbana plagiarists. [Time]
• The Calvin Klein show was last Thursday, but this is still big news: for the first time in the label's history, it favored a black model, Lyndsey Scott, with one of their coveted exclusives. (An exclusive is when a model is chosen by a label to walk only in its show during a given fashion week, and in New York, the only exclusive that matters is Calvin's.) [The Cut]
• The creative director of Mulberry, who seems like an otherwise reasonable woman, says "I think everyone should be able to participate in a brand, but you have to be careful what you do. A key ring at £50 is okay, but don't try to make a bag that looks cheap. I won't have tat on my watch." Just so we're clear, she's talking about a $73 thing to hold your keys. [Times of London]
• Henry Holland talks an awful lot about his mum in this interview. Which is really very sweet. [Independent]
• Christian Siriano's second collection might finally earn him some retail love. His front row was crammed with buyers who seemed receptive to his particular brand of drama. [WSJ]
• He already has a deal with Payless — but tell me if you don't take one look at the spiked shoes and think, Rodarte Fall/Winter 08/09? [The Cut]
• Rodarte's Kate and Laura Mulleavy flew back to California after their New York show — and threw a tea party for Jenny Lewis and assorted friends. Kate says the next collection will be inspired by "houses in various states of construction." [WWD]
• That was quick: Celine Dion's ad for her just-announced fragrance, Chic, is out. [People]
• Ed Westwick for K Swiss is also out. [ONTD]
• Laura Ashley's husband, Bernard, was apparently a terrible tyrant and bully to her and their children. [Daily Mail]
• Lauren Bush's clothing line is hitting Barneys and Intermix next month. She's releasing it under the name "Lauren Pierce." Proceeds go to charity, and her UN World Food Program "Feed" bags are also still available. [The Cut]
• Yves Saint Laurent and Pierre Bergé's art collection went on public display in Paris this weekend, and will be auctioned today. Christie's is cutting 300 jobs, or 14% of its workforce, because of the depressed state of the art market. Some wonder if the more valuable pieces in the catalog — which includes works by Picasso and Matisse — will find buyers. [Times of London]
• Robin Givhan wants celebrities to do the patriotic thing and show their support of their favorite designers by buying, as opposed to just wearing, their clothes. [Washington Post]
• Harvey Weinstein on Project Runway's legal troubles: "Apparently there is some contention." No shit. [People]
• Are these people for real? "I am going shopping less, too," says a 22-year-old model from Miami. "I love shopping. This year, I've only gotten three pairs of shoes." What financial heartbreak! [UPI]
• More pictures of Kim Gordon's Mirror/Dash capsule collection for Urban Outfitters have become available — and it looks good. [LA Times]
• Kanye says he doesn't dress as well as Michael Jackson — yet. [Daily Intel]
• Ever wonder, 'What's Naomi Campbell doing right now?' The Daily Mail is on top of that: the 38-year-old supermodel is settling down in Moscow with her Russian real estate tycoon boyfriend. [Daily Mail]
• The New York City Economic Development Corp. is expected to announce plans today to help the fashion industry. [WWD]

• Yes, it's fashion week, yes, there are better things to talk about, and yes, we'll get to them after the jump, but first: Toby Keith's clothing line debuted. It's worse than we thought. [TMZ]

• London's fashion week, small but mighty as always, starts today and only runs for four days. It's a strange paradox of British fashion that, while some of the top designers — McQueen, Galliano — are from the UK, and London's Central St. Martins is acknowledged as one of the best fashion schools in the world, London fashion week has never quite managed the automatic prestige of New York's, Milan's, or Paris's (which is, not incidentally, where Galliano and McQueen both show). [Reuters]
• André Leon Talley went nuts for Vera Wang's show in her new downtown store. [The Cut]
• Who invited Julia Allison to Philip Lim? He doesn't make pink clothes. [Observer]
• WWD gets its own loving spoof! Worldwide Womenswear Digest, or WWWD has stories like "THE PARENT TRAP: Bee Shaffer shocked to learn most parents don't have yearly hug limits" and "Diane von Furstenberg Debuts Controversial Spinach Wrap Dress." Awesome. [The Cut]
• Leanne Marshall, who won this show called Project Runway this one time, completed a cross-country move and finished her entire fall collection in a few weeks. She says the only thing that's hard about designing from her Brooklyn apartment is keeping her cat out of her sewing. [People]
• Bravo's replacement for their lost treasure, to be called The Fashion Show, will be hosted by Isaac Mizrahi, Fern Mallis...and Kelly Rowland. [Variety]
• In the front row at Calvin yesterday afternoon, Eva Mendes explains the concept of a fashion show to newbie Kate Beckinsale: "It's a little like going to a museum and seeing a beautiful exhibit, except it's emotion." Did she mean, "in motion"? [WWD]
• SIR — Thank you for your measured post considering the economic value of the fashion industry. I'll resist the temptation to call any of the economists who would argue that "creative innovation that matters is somebody in a lab at MIT coming up with a more efficient battery or solar cell. It is somebody at Stanford coming up with a way to make computers smarter or cancer more preventable. I just can't get excited about some frou-frou fashion designers and the magazines that feature their creations" pointy-headed misogynist assholes (who probably dress poorly and were made fun of for it in high school). [The Economist]
• There is justice! Crocs lost $33 million last quarter. [WWD]
• The three shareholders in De Beers — a mining company, the government of Botswana, and the family of company chairman Nicky Oppenheimer — have together loaned the diamond company $500 million as sales have softened because of the economy. The loan is interest-free for two years. De Beers had record sales in the first three quarters of 2008, but the last quarter was flat, and analysts expect 2009 to be even worse. [Reuters]
• Wholesale prices of US-made apparel rose in the month of January, despite concerns about deflation. [WWD]
• Brazilian designer Alexandre Herchcovitz is able to afford to show in New York partly because of his home country's lavish support of the arts. This season's show cost $170,000, around $70,000 of which came from the Brazilian government. I'm always mystified by the huge numbers some designers give as their budget costs for models — Herchcovitz claims he spent $90,000 on models a year ago — and I have to wonder, are they counting the "cost" of the trade they offer as payment to the girls who work the show? Because as far as I can recall, Herchcovitz is one of the many to "pay" in clothes. Not that giving away clothes isn't a cost to a designer, but I don't think it's unreasonable to recognize that providing some of your product for free is a different class of cost than actual out-of-pocket expenditures. [NY Times]
• Versace is dipping a nervous toe into the turbid waters of internet retail. [WWD]
• And Celine Dion wants you to smell Chic like her this April. [WWD]
• After Victoria Beckham agreed to sell her upscale line of dresses exclusively through Bergdorf's, Saks, which had been among the first to support her dVb by Victoria Beckham denim line, decided to drop the pants. Kitson and Henri Bendel stopped restocking dVb last year because of poor sales. [NY Post]

Apparently she has been notifying friends that she is with child. And her boyfriend, Jamie Hince, was overheard telling her to "calm down, especially in your state." [News Of The World]

• This report claims that at a recent shoot for Roberto Cavalli, Kate Moss showed up late and then "proceeded to finish off beer after beer after beer while she was getting her make-up done." Maybe not pregnant? [Page Six]
• Not pregnant: Angelina Jolie. [Gatecrasher]
• In case you missed it, Chris Brown issued a statement yesterday which read: "Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired… I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones. I am committed, with God's help, to emerging a better person." And! "Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong. While I would like to be able to talk about this more, until the legal issues are resolved, this is all I can say." [NY Daily News]
• Salma Hayek married her baby daddy, French businessman Francois-Henri Pinault. On Valentine's Day. There were reports that they'd called off their engagement, but the nuptials were announced in a paper his company owns. (He is worth about $16.9 billion.) Congrats! [People]
• Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson had a fight on the streets of New York on Valentine's Day! Lindsay called Sam by her full name ("Samantha Judith Ronson, why are you doing this to me?") and Sam mumbled something which made LL say, ""What are you talking about? I've been with you all night!" This "first hand account" of the spat comes to you from journalist Justin Rocket Silverman and a paparazzo. [NY Post]
• In this video, Project Runway's Christian Siriano says that Rihanna "must have done something" to provoke Chris Brown to hit her. Then he recants, "No, you should never hit a woman." But! He does say that Rihanna is "kind of a diva." [TMZ]
• It's a boy for M.I.A. and fiancé Ben Bronfman; she announced that her baby is "healthy, fine and beautiful" on her MySpace page. [AP]
• Speaking of babies: The company that did public relations for Nadya Suleman, the mother of octuplets, has quit. Death threats are to blame. [MSNBC via AP]
• Hugh Jackman will be hosting the Oscars, and he hopes that fellow Australian Heath Ledger wins Best Supporting Actor. "I can't hide the fact that I would really love for that honour to be bestowed upon him. It would be fitting and I think he deserves it." [Mirror]
• Is the "truce" between Madonna and Guy Ritchie over? This report claims that Ritchie isn't happy about the custody arrangement and wants the boys in British schools instead of New York establishments. [Daily Mail]
• Hmm, this says that Madonna and Guy are looking to make their current custody arrangement legally binding. [The Star]
• Meanwhile: Madonna took new man Jesus to a Kabbalah meeting on Valentine's Day. Her son David and daughter Lourdes also attended; Madonna and Jesus left separately, possibly to avoid being photographed together. [Daily Mail]
• And! Will Madonna play Wallis Simpson, the American Woman who caused Edward VIII to turn down the throne? [Guardian]
• Jennifer Lopez interrupted her husband's concert by walking on stage with with twins, Max and Emme. Max was wearing a tuxedo and Emme was wearing a pink gown; they turn one this Sunday. [Daily Mail, Just Jared]
• Miley Cyrus's label spent £150,000 flying her to the UK to sing on a Saturday night variety show, only to have Miley forget the words to her own damn song. [The Sun]
• Love's in need of love today: The White House is planning a concert to honor Stevie Wonder, and Barack and Michelle Obama will present the singer with a Library of Congress award on Wednesday. [The Star]
• Amy Winehouse was in the hospital in St. Lucia, but has been released. Too much fun in the sun? [TMZ]
• Has newly engaged Mandy Moore gone totally domestic? She's the new spokesperson for Gain detergent. The campaign is called "Love At First Sniff." Not a joke. [AdAge]
• Beyoncé and Muhammad Ali embraced for pictures at the NBA All-Star game over the weekend. [Daily Mail]
• Fashion week gossip: Diana Ross was in the house at the Diane von Furstenberg show. [WWD]
• Kanye West attended a few Fashion Week shows over the weekend and was moody. [Gatecrasher]
• Benicio Del Toro will walk in the G-Star fashion show on Thursday. Chances are, he will scowl. [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson threw a party at brother in law Pete Wentz's bar last week, and Tony Romo bought the room a round of shots. [Gatecrasher]
• Conan O'Brien is packing up his office in preparations to replace Jay Leno as the Tonight Show host; he says: "Men don't like to say goodbye. My wife told me about six months ago: 'I think you have to admit that you have mixed feelings about leaving this late-night show, it's very emotionally charged for you. That's OK.'" [AP]
• Lily Allen's apartment is super organized: In her walk-in wardrobe, every pair of shoes is boxed and has a Polaroid of the contents stuck on the outside; in her kitchen cupboards and in the spice rack, all the labels face the front. "This is what I'm really all about," she says. "It's control. I have to be in control. Even when I'm out of control I'm still sort of in control. I know the point I'm going off the rails. But it's my decision to go off them." [Daily Mail]
• Here are pictures of Peaches Geldof, 19, showing off her "bizarre" tattoos as she sunbathes topless while on vacay in South America. Note: They aren't that bizarre. [Daily Mail]
• Freida Pinto called off her engagement to her boyfriend of four years after Slumdog Millionaire started taking off; she is now single and ready to mingle… at the Oscars. [Mirror]
• Katy Perry and Benji Madden: It's on! They were each other's dates on Valentine's day in Las Vegas. [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which celeb chef's wife mans his reservation stand while he secretly slips out the back door with his girlfriend?" [Gatecrasher]
• Doug Reinhardt and Paris Hilton spent V-Day together; he gave her an Andy Warhol print of Marilyn Monroe. What do you think she gave him? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Salman Rushdie's new girlfriend is a "32-year-old actress of Amazonian proportions." Read: Tall. She says: "I think he is a genius, genius novelist and he thinks I am smart and that's the biggest thing, the aphrodisiac. With other men, I have had to hide that side of myself because I felt if I came off too smart, I'd be ostracised. This is a good old-fashioned romance but the attraction started as a meeting of minds." [Daily Mail]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt hints about the new season of the Ghost Whisperer: "There's lots going on. I think the audience will be very, very happy. There's an unexpected reunion and there's maybe the pitter-patter of tiny feet." [E!]
• A man suspected of stalking Celine Dion was arrested outside the gates of her home on Friday. [CTV]
• Johnny Knoxville's new show, Nitro Circus, is responsible for a bunch of injuries: "We've shot 12 episodes and there's been about that many surgeries... There was three of the guys who went to the hospital in one day," says Johnny. One 60-year-old "jumped off the back of a boat, going 60 (miles per hour) and it went bad... It broke his pelvis and cut his urethra." [Daily Express]
• Farrah Fawcett is suing companies who have used the iconic photo of her in a red swimsuit without permission. [Daily Mail]
• Is Steven Cojocaru about to get kicked off of Entertainment Tonight? [Page Six]
• American Idol's Ruben Studdard says he overcame stage fright at the age of 12, if you care. [The Star]
• Michael Jackson's brother Marlon is involved in a plan to develop a billion-dollar slavery memorial and luxury resort in Nigeria. Yes. Slavery tourism. [BBC News]
• Kenneth Branagh was not nominated for an Olivier award, but was named best actor in the only stage awards decided entirely by the public. [Guardian]
• "Three of my very best girlfriends flew into town and wanted to meet Brad Pitt. So I was like, 'Brad, come over. My girlfriends are going crazy over you.' He comes over, and he's so cool. He has a way of being very warm and making people feel welcome." — Taraji P. Henson of Benjamin Button. [USA Today]
• "On the first day I was really nervous, because I felt like I was walking on someone's set, and it was no longer my set. But I found Donna inside [me]. Donna's still there! Seeing Jennie [Garth] again and all of a sudden we were two giggly school girls." — Tori Spelling, on returning to 90210. [People]
• "Wow, [in] 10 yrs I'll be 24, almost 25... I hope to still be acting, I really do. I hope to have gone to college and be enjoying my life… I kind of follow my own path and don't really look at others... I have my close family, my close friends and the people that I've worked with that are always there for me, and you have to just kind of stick to yourself." — Dakota Fanning, when asked to predict her future. [The Star]
• "I remember the instant I fell in love with her. One night on board a small boat I owned, she looked at me with love, her dark brown eyes lit by a table lantern. That moment changed my life. […] I never saw Natalie dead - not at the morgue, nor at the funeral home. I wanted to remember her alive. After the funeral I went to bed and stayed there for seven, maybe eight, days. […] Did I blame myself? If I'd been there, I could have done something. I wasn't, but ultimately, a man is responsible for his loved one. Yes, I blamed myself." — Robert Wagner, on the death of Natalie Wood. [Daily Mail]
• "Parents should say, 'Drugs might seem fun, but they do funny things to your brain. Some people react to it good, some don't. Try it and see what you think.' The only story is that drugs are bad and they will kill you — you will become a prostitute, a rapist or a dealer. But that's not true. I know lots of people that take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work everyday, no problem at all. But we never hear that side of the story. I have no statement to make, I just wish people wouldn't sensationalise this thing that just exists." — Lily Allen. [Daily Mail]
• "I think Simon [Cowell] has actually got a wee bit nicer over the past couple of years. He's always been pretty nice to me and I think it's really good that somebody will give you a dose of reality even if it might be said in a harsh manner… As soon as I took a step back and realized that everything he said was constructive, as mean as it might be, we got along fine. So if anybody asks me who my favourite judge is, I'm always going to say Simon." — Carrie Underwood. [The Star]
• "She might not be a feminist, but Lily Allen is that rare thing: a star who offers the usually unspoken female perspective on relationships, in songs with which women can identify intuitively." — From a review of Lily Allen's new CD. [Independent]
• "I've only ever played one truly evil character, Cruella De Vil in 101 Dalmatians, and she really was the devil. But that was high comedy. The meaner she got, the more the audience laughed. But to play someone who is always considered mean and manipulative? It's boring. And I don't do it. What's more interesting is playing characters with light and shade. The problem is that some people don't want to see female characters with light and shade. They want us black and white, easily put into boxes. Good. Evil. All that stuff… I read a survey which said that both men and women find very aggressive women who are sure of themselves the most difficult to relate to. Certainly, when a woman is in power, the more feminine and conciliatory she can be, the more people will open up to her. So a woman who is acting like a man gets negative reactions from both sexes." — Glenn Close. [Daily Mail]
• "I did this photo shoot with a big name fashion photographer and he said, 'Just so you know, if you don't like anything about yourself I can fix it afterwards — like that, for example' — pointing to my face. I was like, 'My chin? ' 'Yes, that cleft on your chin, ' he said, to which I replied, 'I wouldn't mind keeping it, as it's part of my face, you know.'" — Emily Blunt. [Daily Express]

#15 Kathie Lee Gifford



Why she's ridic: She makes silly faces; she has managed to transform Hoda Kotb from an award-winning journalist of Egyptian descent into a yenta; she's not joking about that music career of hers.
That's what she said: "I don't think I should be held responsible for anything I don't know about." - In regards to employing sweatshop children for her Wal-Mart clothing line
Why she's fun:

#14 Diana Ross



Why she's ridic: She jiggled Lil' Kim's bare boob on live TV—'nuff said.
That's what she said: "Just because I have my standards they think I'm a bitch."
Why she's fun:

#13 Tara Reid



Why she's ridic: She repeatedly gets shitty, cheap plastic surgery; she is the go-to cautionary tale for party-loving starlets; 80% of the time, you can see where the extensions are attached to her head.
That's what she said: "I wish all the mean people, if you want to be mean to each other, just buy a country together and blow each other up. Then we’d have no terrorists left. Like, don’t kill innocent people for no reason. It’s not fair. We love everybody. We’d even like them if they said they’re sorry. It’s not fair that innocent people are getting hurt. It makes me sad." - Her thoughts on terrorism and world peace from her sorely-missed travel show Taradise
Why she's fun:

#12 Kathleen Turner



Why she's ridic: She sounds like the personification of an ashtray full of cigarette butts when she talks; she pissed off Nicholas Cage after she accused him of stealing a dog; she didn't correct rumors of being a drunk because she didn't think that being known as a drunk would hurt her career.
That's what she said: "I find the idea of today's icons being teenagers incredibly uninspiring."
Why she's fun:

#11 Bai Ling



Why she's ridic: She loves to sing; she loves to dance; she can spend the day crying, but be damned if she won't pick herself up by the bootstraps, go out to a porn star's birthday party and work the red carpet.
That's what she said: "My name is Bai Ling. That means white spirit, and I really feel like sometimes I'm not existing."
Why she's fun:

#10 Celine Dion



Why she's ridic: She doesn't seem to eat; she's very French Canadian; she tried to be fashion-forward once.
That's what she said: "I've never been cool, and I don't care." - Regarding her adult contemporary radio success
Why she's fun:

#9 Elizabeth Taylor



Why she's ridic: Larry Fortensky; Michael Jackson; pills — lots and lots of them.
That's what she said: "The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."
Why she's fun:

#8 Keyshia Cole's Birth Mom Frankie



Why she's ridic: Frankie is a former crack addict who gave birth to Keyshia Cole. Keyshia was mostly raised by her foster mom and both women remain in her life and, thankfully, her BET reality show Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is. Frankie always speaks her mind, although some of might not make much sense. But she's relatable, since two of her favorite things are "eating Popeye's chicken and watching horror movies."
That's what she said: "I was smoking like a broke stove. Crack. For real." - In regards to why she was in prison, from this outtakes interview from the second season of Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is
Why she's fun:

#7 Mariah Carey



Why she's ridic: She met her much-younger husband at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards; she has likened herself to a mermaid on several occasions; a few titles from her discography are Daydream, Butterfly, Rainbow, Glitter, Charmbracelet, and E=MC².
That's what she said: "I don't mind being compared to Whitney, there are people miles worse to be compared to."
Why she's fun:

#6 Liza Minelli



Why she's ridic: She married at least two gay men; she had the most awesome bridal party ever assembled; she says her "esses" weird, making them sound like "shh."
That's what she said: "I feel like I haven't done my best work yet."
Why she's fun:

#5 Paula Abdul



Why she's ridic: She managed to get six #1 Billboard Hot 100 hits out of that excuse for a singing voice; she explained her "quirky" behavior by admitting she has a chronic pain condition; she continues to appear on live television despite being very unpredictable.
That's what she said: "When people expect me to go right, I'll go left. I'm unpredictable. "
Why she's fun:

#4 Courtney Love



Why she's ridic: She took heroin while pregnant; she had a crack bender a few years ago; she still manages to say some of the most intriguing, insightful, intelligent things.
That's what she said: "Drugs make you make bad fashion choices." - From her anti-drug PSA
Why she's fun:

#3 Janice Dickinson



Why she's ridic: She slept with her friend's boyfriend when she was a model; she won't let her beef with Tyra Banks die; she talks about her sobriety as though it's something she actually maintains.
That's what she said: "Without gay men, I am nothing."
Why she's fun:

#2 Anna Nicole Smith



Why she's ridic: Born in a poor Texas town, met her baby daddy fried chicken establishment, met her billionaire husband at a strip club, took off her clothes for money, fled the country with her slimy lawyer, and is now, in death, somewhat of a legend.
That's what she said: "It's very expensive to be me. It's terrible the things I have to do to be me. " - Testimony on the stand during the case battling for her dead husband's fortune
Why she's fun:

#1 Whitney Houston



Why she's ridic: In an interview, she told Diane Sawyer to produce receipts to prove she is spending money on crack, as though crack dealers provide that kind of documentation; she managed to stay married to Bobby Brown for a considerable amount of time; she hung out with Ariel Sharon in Israel and wouldn't shake his hand, for reasons unknown.
That's what she said: "Hell to the no!" - In regards to anything she's not in favor of
Why she's fun:

And that's not all! Of the 50,000 embryos currently being stored in the United States, "Forty-three percent [of the women] did not want the embryos discarded. About 66 percent said they would be likely to donate the embryos for research, but that option was available at only four of the nine clinics in the survey. Twenty percent said they were likely to keep the embryos frozen forever," the Times says.

The cost of keeping embryos frozen is about $200 a year, which isn't much when compared to the cost of IVF treatments, which usually run to tens of thousands of dollars. Someone like Celine Dion, who has candidly spoken about her frozen eggs, obviously doesn't have to concern herself with costs.

Doctors say the major problem is that patients who have their embryos frozen are not given enough options up front. Dr. Anne Lyerly, an OB/GYN at Duke, tells USA Today that the issue of what to do with extra embryos should "absolutely should be raised at the beginning" of fertility treatments, and adds that the storage bill should mention it. And the Times notes that some parents even want unconventional embryo disposals that include "holding a small ceremony during the thawing and disposal of the embryos, or having them placed in the woman’s body at a time in her cycle when she would probably not become pregnant, so that they would die naturally."

All of this is sticky business when it comes to theories of personhood and the choice ramifications that go along with it. According to EurekAlert, This study "reveals previously unexplored concerns that patients have about their embryos, and it comes at a time when several states and even the federal government are attempting to enact legislation that would either assert an embryo is a person, allow abandoned embryos to be adopted by another couple, or allow unused embryos to become 'wards of the state.'" First world problems, people. First world problems.

Parents Torn Over Fate of Frozen Embryos [NY Times]
Céline Dion Candid About Having More Kids [People]
Fertility Patients Unsure What To Do With Leftover Embryos [USA Today]
Largest Study Of Fertility Patients Shows Concerns About Embryo Disposition [EurekAlert]

Earlier: Writer, Socialite Explains Her "Mad Desire" For A Baby Through Surrogacy

• K-Fed is opening up about his marriage to Britney in this week's People. " I never thought that I would get married but it wound up happening. That was a really, really, happy, exciting moment. I pretty much realized that I was giving my life to her, and I was doing it without question," the Fed says. [People]
• Are Kelly Ripa and longtime hubs Mark Consuelos dunzo? The National Enquirer says that the pair is separating. However, it is impossible to tell if Ripa is shedding silent invisible tears under that relentlessly perky facade. [Jossip]
• And get this: Ripa's rep denies all! The flack says, "There is no truth to the story. Their marriage continues to be quite healthy, and the National Enquirer should be ashamed for fabricating such an untruthful story." Isn't that what Madge's rep said six months ago? [People]
• Mark Ruffalo's brother, hairstylist Scott, was shot in the head in Beverly Hills earlier this week. He is in critical condition. [ET Online]

• James Franco is on the cover of this month's BlackBook wearing a leather jacket. He looks totally James Dean and not at all Jason Priestley. [Blackbook]
• Lance Bass thinks Britney is ready for a comeback, but adds, "I don't think she needs any advice from me." We concur! [People]
• Celine Dion was on CBS this morning, dishing about her frozen embryo. "Yes, we do have a frozen embryo," said the plucky French Canadian. "We'd love to extend the family," she continued. "I started to talk to Rene Charles about it. He said 'Can we have four and five?' So if we're blessed again, I will be very happy to come back and do another interview with you and talk about it. I will be the first one to be extremely happy." [CBS News]
• A-Rod will allegedly accompany Madonna on her trip to Brazil later this month for two performances in Rio. They're definitely Madariguez south of the equator. [Perez]
• So, Boy George is on trial for assaulting a male escort, and his lawyers are arguing that George was "too fat" to have perpetrated that crime. Could this case get any more tawdry? [Daily Mail]
• Bea Arthur will be inducted into the Television Hall of Fame on December 9th. I'm sure she'll thank us for being her friends, pals, confidantes, etc. [AP]
• The Gossip Girl producers loved Ed Westwick from the moment he read for the part of Chuck Bass. However, the network was not so pleased. "But he looks like a serial killer!" they protested. Lucky for us the producers won out. Also: the fictional GG kids will go to college next year in the show. [NYM]
• Speidi's wedding rings are literally the ugliest effing things we've ever seen. [TMZ]
• Pete Wentz says baby Bronx was a "happy accident." He tells Details, "I think that certain things happen for a reason in your life, and maybe it was time to put the wild child in a cage." [People]

• Britney Spears's comeback includes a stop at NBC’s Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony on December 3. Will she perform? Will she push the button and light the tree? Will she ice skate? So many questions. [MSNBC]
• Wait a minute: In this report, Britney says her new life sucks! "There’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day. […] I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening." B-but- you're doing so well! [The Sun]
• Brit's new CD leaked all over the internet yesterday, probably deliberately. Fans dig it. [The Sun]
• Barack Obama's barber in Chicago says the President-Elect doesn't mind having gray hair. "It's not like he has a head full of gray hair," says Zariff, who only goes by one name. "It's just a few gray hairs, so it's nothing to get excited about." Oh! And Zariff might visit DC! "I said, 'I'm going with you' [if you win]," Zariff told Obama. His reply? "Absolutely. I'm not changing barbers, man." [Us]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer had a romantic candlelight dinner. It's so on. [People]

• Have you seen Rihanna's new video, the one with Justin Timberlake? She slithers on the hood of a car, he's dripping wet in a wife beater. They embrace. It's HOT. [Concrete Loop]
• Jessica Simpson says her sister Ashlee may induce labor. What is she doing?
  "Different foot massages and stuff," Jessica told Ellen DeGeneres on her show (which airs Wednesday). "I don't know. I think she's really just jumping around trying everything right now." [People]
• Angelina Jolie was on BBC radio last night, talking about Changeling. There's video, so if you want to see her ignoring the camera, being incredibly reserved and looking down and being quiet, by all means, watch. [Perez Hilton]
• Angelina got super emotional while talking about her mom at a press conference in London. Tears! [Perez Hilton]
• When asked if the public could expect her to add to her enormous family with Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie replied: "Sure you can." [Mirror]
• By the by, Angelina's dad Jon Voight says he has one wish before he dies and it's "to work with my son [James Haven] and Angie again, in a movie. The three of us together. That would be nice." [MSNBC]
• Get psyched: Miley Cyrus will perform on the finale of Dancing With The Stars, just two days after her 16th birthday. Her song is called "Fly On The Wall," maybe you want to get the lyrics and sing along? [People, UPI]
• Jennifer Lopez loves motherhood and wants more babies. Cashmere onesies for everyone! [MSNBC]
• Tim Robbins has written an open letter to Gregory C. Soumas of the New York City Board of Elections. It begins: "I would like to publicly apologize for being such a dim-witted dilettante on Election Day. I was under the naïve assumption that I could vote where I voted in the last two elections." And it ends: "I was thinking of returning that favor by publishing your home address in this letter but then I thought that maybe one of the thousands of New Yorkers that were taken off the voter rolls in the last two months might not understand what a patriotic upstanding man you are and might show up at your doorstep with the misguided assumption that you are a petty vindictive corrupt scumbag." [Huffington Post]
• Christian Siriano: Engaged! He also might appear on Gossip Girl and says his next collection is "a little bit inspired by Egypt." Oh, and he saw the Victoria's Secret fashion show and declares: "Tranny Klum is fabulous." That's Heidi to you and me. [E!]
• William from Stylista has written a goodbye letter, in which he says: "I want Ashlie to win! Hands down! Team Ashlie all the way! She is, quite possibly, the only sane person (minus the hysterics) left on the show. Now, that's not to say that I don't like a little crazy, but honestly, I could sing Ashlie's praises all day." [Elle]
• Authorities found "multiple prescription bottles" by the body of Paula Goodspeed after she allegedly overdosed near Paula Abdul's house last week. [TMZ]
• An extra in a courtroom scene on NBC's Medium was so disruptive, he was kicked out of the jury box. Turns out he was Sasha Baron Cohen, dressed as Bruno. Guess Patricia Aquette didn't see that one coming. [EW]
• Lipstick Jungle: Not canceled. Yet. [NY Mag, NY Times]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt's trailer on the set of Ghost Whisperer was burgled. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson will not go to London, despite being sued by former pal Prince Abdullah of Bahrain. The cash was an advance, in exchange for two albums, a musical, and an autobiography. None of which Jackson has delivered. The trial started yesterday and continues today, without Jackson's presence; his lawyer says he is to ill to travel. [Fox 411]
• Courtney Love went on some kind of blogathon on Sunday, posting 60 times. Now she writes: "I didnt know that style.com would put all those links together, i dont ingest alchohol and to even make the merest suggestion of a Cr__k P–e is insane and mean.and a lie, wichyou know perfectly well." She also says: "i am not suicidal, occasionally very occasioanly like all of us i get depressed, and that was over a year ago and i had a mini little depression attack well big one, and the Lanvin show made me happier, i dont know quite why it happened but i find that mediciation is not the answer to this, working out and doing daimoku ( chanting) is as is yoga and eating correctly and i want somemore Kombucha tea i think that stuff is miraculous for glow and health. those things work far better than this chemical culture of numbing our rage and numbing our pains and demons." There's a [sic] on all of that, obvs. [Perez Hilton]
• Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour wer on Extra. They were asked why they broke up. Simon said: "Because Terri decided to dump me. You sent me a text." Terri replied: "I didn't dump you. It was just time. We had a great six years, and we're the best of friends." Simon denied that Terri got a £5 million "golden goodbye." He laughed: "If anything I should be getting the money." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand's girlfriend, Sydney Jo Jackson, is cute and curly-haired, but this paper says she is "equally barmy in the barnet department." [The Sun]
• Lenny Kravitz is having trouble selling is sexy penthouse, a "moody orgy palace" priced at $18 million. It's been on the market for six years; dreadlocked rockstar not included. [NY Mag via Curbed]
• What's in Julianne Moore's makeup bag? Kiehl's Original Musk, Tarte Cheek Stain in Blushing Bride, Olay Complete Defense Daily UV Moisturizer. And more. [Marie Claire]
• Jessica Lange has a book of photography and it is gorgeous. Click to see some black and white shots. [NY Mag]
• Brandon Walters, a 6 year old aboriginal boy who stars with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman in Australia, is suddenly famous, but Nicole says: "I feel very protective of him. If the film does really well he is going to need a lot of protection." His mom says: "If it does become a problem for him we'll just go out bush, get away from it all. Now he's at school, he's happy and never stops talking. The film made him confident. He's no longer shy." [Reuters]
• Seth Rogan wants to make a porno-based comedy for Showtime. It would be a series about three twentysomethings who learn about life and love while running a pornography shop, and it's in development. [Variety]
• Rashida Jones: Back on NBC! She'll star in Amy Poehler's new show. [Page Six]
• Beef between Damon Dash and Jay-Z: Kanye West is involved, as are diamond chains. [Rush & Molloy]
• Speaking of Kanye, 50 Cent says Mr. West's new album is "interesting" and that the public "won't forgive him for it" and that it's actually "T-Pain's album." Ouch. [The.Life Files]
• Celine Dion has been forced to postpone several tour dates due to a respiratory virus. Her people say: "Her physician has instructed her to refrain from singing in order to completely recover." [Perez Hilton]
• Heather Locklear: Formally charged with DUI after that incident when she was arrested in September. She's been charged with one count of driving under the influence of prescription drugs. [Extra, TMZ]
• Actress Heather Matarazzo was supposed to marry girlfriend Caroline Murphy in California, but now that Prop 8 has passed, she jokes, "We're breaking up. I'm going to get together with [MSNBC's] Keith Olbermann. We'll have babies, lots of babies!" [Rush & Molloy]
• Spotted: Natalie Imbruglia snogging Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas. [Mirror]
• Meg Ryan has won a German lifetime achievement award for best international actress and will pick up the statuette at a gala ceremony November 27. They're calling her the "queen of romantic comedy" and seem to think it is still 1989. [Yahoo News]
• Stan Lee and Olivia de Havilland both received the National Medal of Arts and the National Humanities Medal at the White House yesterday. [Washington Post]
• The Daily Mail apologizes for its "inaccurate" article about David Duchovny and his tennis coach. [People]
• "So how did Steve Martin and Maureen McCormick end up on a date? Florence Henderson knew Chevy Chase, who knew Steve Martin, who wanted Maureen's phone number. They had dinner and made out and the kissing was good, but Maureen was out of it. It would be their only date." [Huffington Post]
• This story, called "Producers' fury at George Takei for boldly going where he shouldn't have" is about how Takei urinated in the camp in the middle of the night on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Producers are pissed! [Daily Mail]
• So far, George Takei is the favorite to win the show! [Mirror]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and husband Peter Andre are not on the rocks; here is a picture of her wearing a giant "P" necklace to prove it. [The Sun]
• Mindy McCready, who was released from jail two weeks ago, says she isn't proud of an affair she had with baseball great Roger Clemens. She met Clemens when she was 16 but didn't have sex with him until several years later. "Roger Clemens is one of the most wonderful men I've ever known. He treated me like a princess." But! She says she now has "nothing but remorse and nothing but sympathy for what [his wife Debbie] had to go through with this situation, and she has my utmost apology." [UPI]
• Coming to Broadway: Priscilla Queen of the Desert, the musical! [UPI]
• Mary Delgado , a former NFL cheerleader and winner of The Bachelor in 2004, is out of jail after being arrested in a southwest border-town bar for unruly behavior. Drama! [AP]
• Cheech and Chong: Gonna get roasted. Not baked, roasted! [UPI]
• A poem handwritten by Sir Paul McCartney for his friend Spike Milligan is to be sold at auction next week. It's called "The Poet Of Dumbswoman Lane." [Telegraph]
• Five year old Beatrice McCartney is on her dad's new track, a Sir Paul ditty called "Two Magpies." [Mirror]
• Bogota, Colombia hearts Duran Duran. [Guardian]
• "'Climb every Mountain' is a beautiful statement of philosophy. Critics may think The Sound of Music is saccharine, but I think it's profound." — Jon Voight. [MSNBC]
• "I've gotten more stylish since I've been with my husband. I was always making fun of him because he has so many leather coats, jackets and shoes. But he looks hot. I want to look good for him. So I kind of stepped it up a bit." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "There's no smoking. The lights never go out, 24/7. You can't cover anything. You can't even put your head under a blanket. All the cells have cameras in them. I was told, you know, 'You'll have your own cell.' But I didn't for the first two or three weeks; I had a cell mate. He got out – but not for long. He came back in pretty quick." — Keifer Sutherland on his stint in jail, in Men's Vogue. [People]
• "Pete and I laugh about it. We can’t win. If we’re smiling for the cameras they say we’re setting it up to gloss over the cracks. If we’re not together they think we’ve split up." — Katie "Jordan" Price on the breakup rumors about her and husband Peter Andre. [Daily Mail]
• "Yes, I have solar panels and all that sort of stuff. However, the more I learn about the subject matter, I also realise that people find it patronizing. They feel like they're being told what to do when somebody like me talks about the fact I have solar panels. Not everybody can get solar panels and not everyone can drive a hybrid car. It's not about blame or telling people how to live, it's just about saying, 'Let's all be aware of these issues.'" — Leonardo DiCaprio. [Daily Express]
• "In terms of my future as an actor and stuff, I don't know. I am in a place in my life where... I've had some great opportunities and I may just choose to have some more children. I've no idea what is in my future but I am very at peace with where I want to be. There are many things I want to do besides act." — Nicole Kidman. [Reuters]
• "Sometimes I lie in bed and I'm like, 'Oh my god, there's Seal lying next to me. What's he doing there?' I get a smile on my face immediately. Our honeymoon period is definitely not over." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "We feed the chickens and the pigs — I have two pigs, and boy are they really pigs. They just get down in that mud and roll around. I like getting down in there and working in the garden. Oh, I want someone to build me a good chicken coop… like a man who can just get down there and build it…ooh." — Reese Witherspoon, on taking her kids to her farm outside of L.A. [USA Today]

• Ladies! Get your issue of Entertainment Weekly and hold on to it tightly. Daniel Craig looks mighty fine. [Just Jared]
• Daniel Craig showed up at the London premiere of Quantum of Solace with a black sling. He is still injured! (We've seen him in a sling before.) [Guardian]
• When Courtenay Semel — whose dad used to run Yahoo, who was once Lindsay Lohan's roommate and Tila Tequila's girlfriend — was arrested in Vegas in August, she allegedly said to the security guard who was trying to prevent her from entering a club: "Do you even know who I am, fucking idiot? Google me, you dumb fuck." Then she hit him in the face. [TMZ]
• Lily Allen's PR Machine calls her "the Wordsworth of the MySpace generation." Apparently, her new album, It's Not Me, It's You, contains the following couplet: "Now I lie here in the wet patch in the middle of the bed/I'm feeling pretty damn hard done by, I've spent ages giving head." HAHAHA. [Guardian]

• A gun thought to be the murder weapon in the Jennifer Hudson family tragedy has been found. [TMZ]
• William Balfour, the main suspect in the Hudson murders, has refused a polygraph test. [Yahoo News]
• There was a drug raid at the Hudson house in 2002: Jennifer's brother, Jason, allegedly sold crack to a registered informant. [TMZ]
• Nancy Grace spoke with the mother of William Balfour, the man who is being held in the triple murder of Jennifer Hudson's family. His mom says Jennifer Hudson's brother was selling drugs out of the house and her son was with a girlfriend at the time of the crime. [TMZ via CNN]
• Melissa Etheridge blogged about being gay and truing to adopt kids over at the Daily Beast. "I know my preference of lifemate freaks some people out," she writes. "Maybe it is just their fear of sex or intimacy. I know that they hold up the Bible and say that it's wrong… I will never forget the day earlier this year when the news came down the wire that the Supreme Court of California had declared same sex marriage legal," Etheridge recalls. "We told our children about it and all danced around the room in family glee." [Yahoo News, via E!]
• You guys, this country is going to get less beautiful if Obama doesn't get elected: Seal says he and Heidi Klum will leave the U.S. if McCain wins! Seal told this month's Vanity Fair: "If McCain is elected and America staggers on further towards the abyss, then we will leave the country. That is not a problem for us.” It's a problem for us, dude. [LA Times]
• Did you get invited to Heidi Klum's big Halloween bash? Neither did we. Seal, Debra Messing and Christian Siriano will be there. [Page Six]
• Yesterday, Matilda Ledger turned three. It was her first birthday without her dad. She celebrated at home with mom MIchelle Williams and a small group of family and friends. [News.com.au]
• Angelina Jolie was in Afghanistan last week, meeting with refugees who have returned to their post-Taliban homeland. She says: "After seeing real suffering, you never complain anymore." [People]
• Nicole Kidman keeps crying when she thinks of her baby daughter, Sunday Rose. But! "They are tears of joy." Hey, lady: You do have other kids, you know. [The Sun]
• David and Victoria Beckham: Superheroes? Stan Lee thinks so! "They're great looking, talented and colorful. Now, here's the exciting part, just imagine how cool they'd be in a humorous, good-natured show that depicts them as, you guessed it—superheroes," he says. Would they have capes? Skin-tight outfits? Would Posh be able to render you immobile with a mere glare? [Yahoo News via E!]
• This is hard to imagine, but Victoria Beckham has been training for the New York Marathon in secret. She may not run this weekend if she doesn't feel ready, but she's planning to do the one in L.A. in February. As if wearing all those heels did not punish her feet enough? [Perez Hilton]
• Denis Leary is sorry about his autism remarks, you guys. He says: "I apologize for any pain the out-of-context quotes from my book may have caused." [Daily Express]
• After Julianne Hough admitted that she had endometriosis, Lacey Schwimmer from Dancing With The Stars has announced that she, too has endometriosis. And that she never would have gotten it checked out if it wasn't for Julianne. [ET]
• The Keanu Reeves trial continues! His lawyer caused the paparazzo who filed suit to "buckle under questioning." Sorta wish it was televised. [AP]
• Madonna made an "emotional late-night call" to Guy Ritchie and "pleaded" with him to settle their divorce amicably. And by that she means having a mediation with Kabbalah rabbis instead of going to court. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a "rocky" interview in which Guy Ritchie discusses RocknRolla and, um, a Kabbalah documentary he's working on. Bet that's off! [News.com.au]
• Rosario Dawson wants to clear up the rumors that she is engaged. She's not. "Oh my God, I'd be getting calls from my grandmother being like, 'Mija! How come I had to read this first?'" Grandma's reading trashy gossip! [People]
• Jennifer Lopez is an evil genius: She keeps making crappy pilots, which TV networks don't pick up, but she still gets money for them, because they've signed a contract with her. It's twisted. [Jossip]
• Peaches Geldof made a wasted spectacle of herself at her husband's band's gig and there's "trouble in paradise." No one saw this coming. No one. [Mirror]
• Celine Dion has rescheduled a concert in Minneapolis/St. Paul due to "respiratory illness." Wasn't she just on Oprah? And what do you say to taking chances??? [Star-Tribune]
• Is Celine going to try and get knocked up again? [Daily Express]
• Natalie Cole says: "I feel sturdy and strong," despite undergoing dialysis three times a day week. AMAZING. [People]
• Derek Jeter will not admit that he is dating Minka Kelly, and when asked about A-Rod, replied: "Don't start with me about Kabbalah. I went to Catholic school." Dude, so did Madonna. [People]
• Bruce Springsteen is a party pooper! He's not having his elaborate Halloween decorations this year because his cool set-up attracts too many visitors. Boo. No, really. Boo. [AP]
• Bill Pullman's 19-year-old son was arrested in North Carolina for alleged underage drinking and possession of moonshine. No word on whether he was driving a car with doors welded shut called the General Lee. [UPI]
• Courteney Cox will be in a new ABC half-hour comedy called — uh — Cougar Town. Cox stars as a newly single 40-year-old mom. Lemme guess: She goes on dates, sometimes with younger dudes. [Variety]
• This young lady — Andrew Sachs' granddaughter — claims that Russell Brand was a "disappointment" in bed. [The Sun]
• After resigning from his radio show for saying he'd "fucked" Andrew Sachs' granddaughter, Russell Brand says "I hope to go to America now and make quite a lot of films." What kind of films, hmm? [The Sun]
• Now that the FBI has raided the home of hacker Josh Holly, who hacked Miley Cyrus' e-mail account, Miley is reportedly a "nervous wreck," worrying that more personal pictures and info will be made public, despite the government's involvement. [ONTD]
• Zac Efron talked about his hair with Ellen DeGeneres: "I actually modeled it [after] Ellen season 2," he said. "Smart," Ellen replied. "So you're copying me?" Zac confirmed, "I am in fact." [People]
• Nicolas Cage is selling his "haunted" New Orleans mansion, if you have $3.8 million. You could live near Brad and Angie! [Daily Express]
• Whoa. An apology from The Sun: "On 19 June 2007, we reported that David Hasselhoff had celebrated winning custody of his two daughters by getting drunk and making a nuisance of himself in a Hollywood bar. We now accept that David did not drink any alcohol that evening and nor did he irritate other customers. We apologise to David for any embarrassment caused." [The Sun]
• Janet Jackson tamed down part of her concert for Michigan, where state law prohibits simulated sex acts in a public space. Usually, she pulls a male fan from the crowd, ties him down and "molests" him while her dancers mime various sexual acts, including masturbation. *cough* [Yahoo News]
• Speaking of Jacksons, here are Michael and his kids. They are wearing masks, maybe because it's Halloween, maybe because it's Wednesday night. Who knows. [The Life Files]
• Hey! The Jackson 5 are reuniting! For a tour, which would include Michael and Janet! Let's pretend they're gonna look like this, okay? [NY Times]
• Paris Hilton has parted ways with Jason Moore, who has been her manager for more than 10 years. He was the one who walked away. [Daily Express]
• Josiah Leming, a homeless singer whose mother is dying of cancer, might be blocked from releasing the album he recorded because he was a contestant last season on American Idol. Shit, when you sign a reality show contract, you generally screw yourself, huh? [Page Six]
• Peter Andre is NOT leaving Katie "Jordan" Price, so you can all just relax and get a good night's sleep, okay? [The Sun]
• Ice T's wife Coco says of Halloween: "It's my day! I get to get naked! Finally!!!" Ahem. Pardon? Ice T explains: You know, a lot of people comment, but some chicks like to be wild. You come home and they're standing on the couch and they want to jump at you and tackle you. Coco's one of them girls." [NY Mag]
• Melissa Auf der Maur has an "elaborate new project" coming out: OOOM (Out of Our Minds), a "3-D concept album" that includes a CD, a half-hour film, a comic book and website. Oh! And she has a persona in the project: MAdM. Expect a "conceptual fantasy world, spawned from sound." [ONTD]
• E! has ordered a second season of Denise Richards: It's Complicated. Oh, it's simple: Vom. [AP]
• Corey Haim: Getting married. Think Feldman will attend? [ONTD]
• Beatles songs on the Rock Band video game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [WSJ]
• The Phil Spector retrial has begun; yesterday the prosector told jurors Spector murdered actress Lana Clarkson in a "petulant fit of rage." [Yahoo News]
• Kato Kaelin might be back, on a reality show called 16th Minute. Bascially, it would feature "stars" whose 15 minutes of fame are up — and give them one extra minute. Do you weep for humanity? [mediabistro]
• "I hadn't eaten all day, and I was starving. They were coming around with this bowl of brownies, and I grabbed three of them and just started scarfing them down. After that, every lyric sounded like it was the Cookie Monster yelling in my ear, and I started feeling really shitty, but I had to play through the set. I couldn't just go up to Puffy and say, 'Sorry, I ate a shit-load of hash brownies, I can't do your White Party.'" — Mark Ronson, on the refreshments at Diddy's soirée. [Page Six]
• "If I get married again, then it will be the last time." — Jessica Simpson. [Page Six]
• "My mom's like 'Honey, don't get married.' It comes from a good place, but I'm such a romantic, I'd like to get married one day. It's fulfilling to live with a person you love." — Alexa Ray Joel, whose Mother, Christie Brinkley, went through a nasty divorce with Peter Cook. [Daily Express]
• "I spent most of the year I was 27 toxic, just completely over-medicated. I was stoked to make it past 27. Everyone was really worried. My management company were panicked, because I was out of the office, and 'pharmaceutically engaged.'" — Pete Wentz. [Daily Express]
• "I got into an argument with him. I don’t believe him as much as he believes him. He said something along the lines of, 'I only shag really stupid women.' And I said, 'I guess they would have to be.' I don’t get him at all." — Pink on John Mayer. [The Sun]
• "I can't stand Sarah Palin. I bet a woman like that has no sense of humor." — Grace Jones. [Yahoo News]

[Monaco, July 10. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Russell Simmons is forking over $20,000 per daughter in child support to Kimora Lee, which seems about right when you take into account that they are not just children but living ambassadors of Fabulosity. [TMZ]
• Naomi Campbell was kind enough to get arrested wearing one of Nelson Mandela's signature baseball caps, thus showering millions of dollars in free publicity on his AIDS awareness campaign, and this is the thanks she gets? [MSNBC]
• Mary-Kate Olsen and Ben Kingsley make out in the new movie The Wackness and now the guy we all associate with one of modern history's foremost humanist visionaires is going around talking about how making out with someone 42 years younger than him was completely cool and she was "totally in charge." [People]
• Miley Cyrus admits that her latest song "7 Things" is a very angry song, because it's about an ex-boyfriend, not a specific Jonas brotherly ex-boyfriend you understand, but just like a composite character ex-boyfriend, since anyone who's been around the block a few times knows that shitty guys generally adhere to a few typical patterns of behavior and also, hello, 15-year-old Disney teen idol confections maybe do not write their own songs. Not that their quotes don't sound like they do! "[It goes] through all the different stages of what's been going on the past couple years…It was like a little therapy moment for me." [People]

• Christian Bale thinks what happened after Heath Ledger's death amounted to a "hideous circus." [NY Mag]
• John Mayer is one of those guys who holds out the fact that he's never cheated on anybody as proof he is a "good guy," but like, what the fuck? With some people you are committing an act of social justice by cheating on them and yes I am talking about Jessica fucking Simpson. [MSNBC]
• The Christie Brinkley divorce…you know? I just can't get into it right now. How about we discuss our favorite Billy Joel songs again. If you want to get banned you will say "Still Rock N Roll To Me." [NYDN]
• Demi Moore is making some appearances in Dubai but somehow her heart doesn't seem like it's in it. [Page Six]
• Brad and Angie gave $1 million to a few charities helping in The Iraq. [AP]
• David Beckham is doing a line of mineral water. And sure, sure, it's fine for you and the Beastie Boys to say that maybe another bottled water brand is not what the world needs now, but if you bore the responsibility of hanging onto the title of World's Biggest Carbon Footprint you might come up with some not-particularly-original ideas yourself. [Mirror]
• Because Celine Dion sees your hysterical excess, and raises you a $36,343 water bill! [Palm Beach Post]
• When Tim McGraw spies a male fan aggressively groping a lady fan at one of his sold-out concerts, he kneels down, drags the guy by the wifebeater onstage, maybe takes a few swings in self-defense before handing him off to his roadies in time to sing the next line of the song he was singing, which just happens to be "I'm not lookin' for trouble." See, a few years back that story would have sounded apocryphal but this is the YouTube era so even doubting Thomases such as myself can safely assure you it really happened. [CMT]
• And yeah, ditto on the Verne Troyner sex tape. [TMZ]