• A source claims that Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore want Susan Boyle to sing at their wedding anniversary party. Demi reportedly would also like Susan to "flash her knee" at Ashton. [Daily Express]

• But Demi says the Boyle rumors are false! Regardless, Boyle is "much happier" after her hospitalization for an "anxiety attack." [Daily Mail]
• David Carradine's manager says he was found with his hands tied behind his back, calling into question both accident and suicide as explanations for his death. [TMZ]
• But the Thai police say there's no evidence anyone was in the room with Carradine when he died. [TMZ]
• Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali has written her life story, Slumgirl Dreaming: My Journey to the Stars. The book will be released in July. [AP, via WWLTV]
• Phil Spector is being moved form LA to a prison near Bakersfield. TMZ tastefully reports that this prison has private showers. [TMZ]
• Tank Girl star Lori Petty has been charged with three misdemeanors for hitting a skateboarder with her car last weekend. Neither was severely injured. [TMZ]
• Chris Martin says he's not going to record a solo album, and that he gets song ideas from "some word [that] sends your mind going," such as "falafel." Bill O'Reilly was not available for comment. [Guardian]
• Marilyn Manson says he cried when tour manager "Steve" wouldn't get him drugs. But is he also an alcoholic? "Not according to the statistics that I read," says Manson. [Daily Express]
• Dominic Monaghan's character Charlie may be returning to Lost. [New York Magazine]
• More possible evidence that Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are back together: she was spotted with him at a Green Day concert, holding his hand and wearing a picnic blanket. [E! Online]
• 50 Cent has settled a lawsuit against an engineering firm for underestimating the cost of repairs to his house — the estimate was for $500,000, but the repairs ended up costing $6 million. Sucks, but it's hard to feel too sorry for Fiddy when the repairs on his house cost 25 times the median home price in the Northeast. [USA Today]
• Sick of Jon Gosselin and young women yet? If not, here's a sort of grainy picture of him standing near 23-year-old Hailey Glassman, his alleged paramour and daughter of his wife's plastic surgeon. [Perez Hilton]
• "I don't know what I'd do if I did win, but I would run out there and kiss Elton John and kick him off stage or something." — Dolly Parton, on her Tony Nomination for "9 to 5 The Musical" [CBS News]
• "And all the tears on her guitar, I'm not bitter. But now I see, Everything I'd ever need, Is the girl in front of me, She's much better." — from Joe Jonas's new song "Much Better," which supposedly disses ex Taylor Swift and her song "Teardrops On My Guitar" [Perez Hilton]
• "I'm convinced that she'll get sober one day. But I'm afraid that between now and then, she may get a nearly mortal wound of some type. [...] I have this image that she's going to lose a limb or something before she does." — Dr. Drew, on Lindsay Lohan.[Parade]
• "That was insulting, ridiculous, and disrespectful." — also Dr. Drew, on former Celebrity Rehab star Mary Carey's film, Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw. [Parade]
• "You have to make ugly faces to make pretty notes. The first thing I noticed at rehearsal is they looked really good, like models, and they were sucking their cheeks and looking like they belong in an agency for beauty." — Carlos Santana, on the American Idol contestants during his guest appearance. [Reuters]

Although we toss the term "narcissist" around like grass seed nowadays (often in reference to Wall Street and political hubris), Slate's Emily Yoffe makes the point that in fact narcissism is a bona fide, APA-stamped psychological disorder, likely originating in childhood. Says Yoffe, "This is the cultural moment of the narcissist. "

The same word is used to describe a quality that comes in three gradations: a characteristic that in the right amount is a normal component of healthy ego; a troublesome trait when there is too much; and a pathological state when it overwhelms a personality. Narcissism fuels drive and ambition, a desire to be recognized for one's accomplishments, a sense that one's life has meaning and importance. The problem occurs when narcissism becomes the primary principle of someone's personality. Its most extreme form is narcissistic personality disorder, a psychological condition that impairs a person's ability to form normal relationships and wreaks havoc on those who have close encounters with it.

Although until recently NPD has flown under the psychiatric radar, it seems primed to be the stuff of mass vigilante diagnosis - despite the fact that the APA, controversially, estimates that only 1 percent of the population suffers from it. For one thing, Dr. Drew, who ministers to celebrities full time and so should know, has written a book about it: The Mirror Effect, in which he hypothesizes that celebs like those whom he treats in Celebrity Rehab are predisposed to the disorder, and that their tendencies are exploited by a hungry public, unkind media, and unscrupulous casting directors. As a result, unhealthy behavior is held up as a normal model, particularly to young people who are vulnerable to influence, and in turn these tendencies are further encouraged by networking phenomena like Facebook. Quoth the good Dr., ""Without appropriate monitoring, these social networking platforms are subject to abuse by those who are most vulnerable to the endless feedback loop they create...This is known as an urge/compulsion/reinforcement cycle, and it's very similar to what happens to those who crave drugs or other addictive substances."

In Kleypas' novel, the heroine, Haven Travis, escapes from an abusive marriage with a man who turns out to have NPD, which in turn (without wishing to give anything away) precipitates a crisis when he is thwarted of power and attention. Using the disorder in the novel - and disseminating information about the disorder, as Kleypas does at book's end - is a good thing, as is any popular acknowledgment of mental illness - and, particularly, abusive-prone behaviors. But the sudden ubiquity of the disorder is odd, like it's everyone's latest discovery, cocktail party term, fear. I'd hate to see something stigmatized to the extent that people who need it don't seek help; if it's just going to be shorthand for "villainous asshole," how will that help anyone but a psychological profiler? Similarly, if it becomes the new "sex addiction" - a very specific disorder tossed around as an excuse for bad behavior - Dr. Drew's aims would seem to be thwarted. And if a recession marks the cultural moment of the narcissist, well, let's just hope the economy doesn't get any worse.

Celeb Antics Stem From Mental Illness, Says Dr. Drew [Wired]
But Enough About You … [Slate]
Celebrity Narcissism: A Bad Reflection For Kids [USA Today]

Douvall, a "glamour model" famous in Britain for having kissed and told about various celeb boyfriends, has had 15 boob jobs, facelifts, and repeated operations to change the shape of her face. Doctors in the UK will no longer treat her, so Douvall comes to the States for surgery and lies about her medical history. She says she has been known to walk into a surgeon's office without a clear idea of the procedure she wants, as long as she gets something. She tells the Independent, "Imagine playing Russian roulette with your life,t hat's what I'm doing. It's out of control, and has cost me more than £1m. Before I decided to come to Malibu, I'd accepted that I was going to carry on with it until I was either bankrupt or dead...I've had so many operations that I can't feel my stomach, my left breast, or anything under my right arm."

Douvall's a pretty clear case of body dysmorphic disorder, and it's heartening to know she's treating her addiction. Why she's doing it on a celeb rehab reality show is another matter, but we'll take the charitable approach and hope the example helps others with cosmetic surgery addictions. And if exposure is the only way certain celebrities can be induced to get help, well then, so much the better. The nature of the treatment is somewhat controversial, focusing as it does on "curing" addictions rather than adhering to the time-tested AA-style approach that addiction can only be managed. Douvall found the round of experts and intensive therapy so draining that she describes breaking down numerous times per day (which we would sort of assume is standard in rehab) and after the show wrapped, she stayed on an additional two weeks. Has it worked? Well, Douvall recently canceled an appointment for an upcoming "toe facelift," so we can only hope.

Alicia Douvall: Addicted To Cosmetic Surgery [Independent]

Jeff didn't even get out of his pajama pants before leaving treatment. He just picked up his cane and took off with his girlfriend, Vicky, who was also a patient at the Pasadena Recovery Center. He whined continually throughout this season of Celebrity Rehab that he wasn't being treated properly. (His version of being treated properly is being allowed to take pain meds and muscle relaxers.) The first thing he did when he walked into his house was rifle through a plastic drawer, going through bottles and bottles of pills. After he took a very strong painkiller, he held up two fistfuls of pills and shook them menacingly at the camera. It's safe (and sad) to say that he's effectively off the wagon.

Shifty was a patient on the first season of the show, and is now back after suffering a relapse and a severe bender which involved booze, crack, coke, heroin, and Ecstasy. He returned to the facility, but refused to enter, and instead hung out on the roof to smoke his last hit of crack and talk to the "tree people" that help "analyze what we do." After he finished his drugs, he decided to enter the building, wearing a rice paddy hat and carrying two hamsters. He then swallowed a balloon of heroin "for later." Clip above.

So on this episode, it was visitor's day. Look who came to see Mary: Penny/Hope from Showgirls!

Her exchange with Jeff Conway — when she listed her entire filmography — was totally one of the best moments on Celebrity Rehab thus far.

Surprisingly, "Celebrity Rehab" — in which everyone from aging actors Jeff Conaway and Daniel Baldwin and "American Idol" finalist Jessica Sierra talks out a personal struggle with substance abuse — is compelling and thoughtful. That's right: The words "VH1" and "thoughtful" made it into the same sentence...."Celebrity Rehab's" class and appeal can be credited to host Drew Pinsky, or "Dr. Drew," as he's known on his syndicated radio show, "Loveline"....He's honestly trying to improve these people's lives....It might be celebrity voyeurism that brings you to this series, but it's the genuine drama and authenticity of the subjects that will keep you watching.

It's a searing, unflattering but still celebratory look at eight worst-case-scenario addicts...Needless to say it is habit-forming....The series exposes all the horrors of addiction, but lightens them with the familiar voyeuristic elements of "The Surreal Life" and other soft-core scorn: silly celebrity tantrums, kooky mishaps and bosomy women in skimpy halter tops bonding and confronting one another. The show offers desperate people a last chance to detox, but it's also a last call for show business has-beens who crave one more crack at fame and will allow cameras into their treatment center bathrooms and therapy sessions for the opportunity.

Riveting as a car wreck, "Celebrity Rehab" is the logical extension of VH1's "surreality" brand — an assembly of TV-created celebrities willing to be debased under the patina of entertainment. Educational only in its unflinching images of drug withdrawal (there's vomiting aplenty), the show proves as pathetic as it is difficult to turn off, its celebrities leveraging their private suffering as a lifeline to public exposure. VH1 may have another success here, but let's not kid ourselves: If this works, the channel has simply demonstrated it's possible to have your cake and snort it, too....Pinsky informs his charges, "Our job is to make you better," [but] he's only telling half the story: Springing for the 21-day treatment program hardly amounts to an altruistic gesture given that the talent provides VH1 with a voyeuristic sideshow act slated for an eight-week run.

Overall, this is an incredibly honest series about the nature of addiction and the nearly superhuman effort required to overcome it. After previewing the first two episodes, I was struck by the candor of Dr. Drew Pinsky as well as the nine celebs who agreed to take part in the 21-day program....These are people who are us[ed] to having their own way and who can't envision life without drugs or booze. Seeing them try to break their dependency is not pretty. In fact, it's downright painful to see them stripped of their glamor, shaking, crying, barfing and struggling to escape from their self-imposed mental fog. It is an unforgettable wake-up call, far more effective than a thousand "Just say no" campaigns.

It might be easy to mock these C- and D-listers, but Dr. Drew never gives in to the urge. The dispassion of his clinical diagnoses is strangely comforting, and at odds with the flamboyance of his patients....Much of the show focuses on group and one-on-one sessions that are less about physical health than emotional. This is where the celebrity portion of the show begins to melt away...Like many, these people are the products of complicated situations. And presumably, if they could afford expensive treatment of this sort, they wouldn't agree to have it filmed. That they, at least for a time, rose to fame and wealth means little. In the end: Celebrities, they're just like us.

Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew [VH1]