cause i'm a blonde

Pop Quiz! Are You Smarter Than A Bush Administration Spokespretty?

Remember Bush Administration spokespretty Dana Perino and that tough time she had remembering just what the Cuban missile crisis was? Well the other day she had another little missile crisis on Fox News Sunday, which is to say, she explained, she doesn't really know what a missile is sorta, because, um, totes, kthanxbai, she was born a girl. "Some of the terms I just don't know," she explained. "I haven't grown up knowing. The type of missiles that are out there: patriots and scuds and cruise missiles and tomahawk missiles. And I think that men just by osmosis understand all of these things, and they're things that I really have to work at — to know the difference between a carrier and a destroyer, and what it means when one of those is being launched to a certain area." Um, yeah, like if you launch a destroyer from a Tomahawk off the coast of Pakistan, could it even reach far enough to spray California with nerve gas? Truth be told, I don't know, which is why I took it upon myself to make up a little refresher quiz. See if you can identify the photos of some of the things Dana has been learning about! More »

cause i'm a blonde

Do You Get Dumber Around Blondes?

Here's a study that explains pretty much human civilization: in a nutshell, men get stupider around blondes. It's some phenomenon called the "Bimbo Delusion" and apparently what happens is that, encountered with fair haired females, their brains go into Standby mode in anticipation that the conversation is going to be, like...you know? Ummm...where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so scientists basically made men take, like, IQ tests or whatever after being shown pictures of various women, and they did okay through the Beyonces and the Lucy Lius, but as soon as, like, the Girls Next Door showed up they totally bombed. Needless to say some blondes — not me! — are doubting this finding, like some Marks & Spencer model who's all, "If I'm being insulted, then I'm blissfully unaware." Which is like, well yeah. Anyway guys, do me a favor and forget I'm blonde for a second, so I can get in my little PSA. More »