"Would I be able to play Pygmalion with Taylor Momsen ... ? Well S.B. didn't get off to a good start. A clothing rack of red-carpet regulars failed to capture Taylor's attention."I'm an individualist" she said dodging every de rigeur dress shape (sack, trapeze, bubble be damned!). Oh dear S.B. completely misjudged the situation. This was no Eliza Doolittle in need of Henry Higgins. "I have two favorite pairs of Miu Miu shoes—both with silver sparkles," she exclaimed. "I'm kind of out there." Then S.B. would go the distance. Several fittings and umpteen test Polaroids later, we had a winner: a draped Doo.Ri jersey dress. Never mind that Taylor hadn't heard of the New York-based designer before."

• The Lindsay Lohan drama heats up! TMZ has interviews with the three guys who were in the white SUV with Lindsay and one says Lindsay was never without a drink that night and he even did a shot with her. Plus, Lindsay may have told cops, "I wasn't driving, the black kid was." [TMZ]
  
• By the way, Lindsay's movie, I Know Who Killed Me, opens today. Sure to be a box-office dud. [Page Six]
  
• During a screening of aforementioned film, the audience burst into laughter when Lindsay's character got hit in the face with a shovel, even though it was "a scene meant to be terrifying." [Defamer]
  
• Nicole Richie is due to appear in court today. By law, anyone with two DUI convictions must serve at least 5 days in jail. We'll see! [TMZ]

• Naomi Watts finally gave birth. The baby is a 8-lb. boy named Alexander Pete. [Rush & Molloy, 6th item]
• Is there a catfight brewing over at CNBC between the Money Honey and the Street Sweetie? Someone wants you to think so. [Page Six]
• Fendi pays socialites to lunch together? [Page Six]
• Fashion designer Valentino thinks American young ladies have poor manners. [Page Six]
• Prince Frederic von Anhalt, husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor, claims he was attacked by three gun-toting women, stripped naked and handcuffed to the steering wheel of his Rolls-Royce. Don't you wish it was on video? [Rush & Molloy]
• Paris Hilton, openly smoking pot? Hate to say we told you so... [Rush & Molloy, 4th item]

• "In the South.. when someone does something that displeases us.." Elizabeth began her call. Oh, brother.
  
• In her phone call Elizabeth mentioned Ann's "suggestion" that the Edwards family had bumper stickers reading "Ask me about my dead son." That's meaner than what the four-year-old column actually said, which was, "If you want points for not using your son's death politically, don't you have to take down all those 'Ask me about my son's death in a horrific car accident" bumper stickers?'" Elizabeth's version was also funnier! Why, Liz, why?

• Elizabeth was calling to quibble with Coulter's comment the morning earlier on Good Morning America: "If I'm going to say anything about John Edwards in the future, I'll just wish he has been killed in a terrorist assassination plot." And see, silliness like that wouldn't normally upset Liz, but coming from Ann Coulter...
• Guess what appeared first thing this morning on the Edwards Campaign site, just like Ann predicted?
• Finally, Elizabeth didn't really answer Ann's question about why JOHN didn't make the call asking about her criticisms of JOHN himself. The reason is because Elizabeth plays a very important role in the John Edwards campaign such that she probably decided the impromptu call-in would go over better in heartland America if it were made by John's supportive, meal-cooking wife — which is to say, her! Because heartland America prefers its women soft-spoken and civil, not loud and crazypants and given to offensive jokes like Ann Coulter.
• HOLY SHIT. We thought the worst thing about the Edwardses was their spooky brand of smarm, but actually, it's in the bullet point above. SHOOT US NOW. The Edwardses just made us defend Ann Coulter on grounds of FEMINISM.

Tongue sweat.