What does it say about me that the only thing this stirred in me was a desire to correct his punctuation? But seriously, I don't think this e-mail is really crappy, except in its stylistic execution. He isn't being a douche, just needy. I think it may have been poor form for the recipient to pass this along for ridicule.
@Flackette Goes Retro: I agree with you. And I'm not sure what it says about me that I am missing the "crap" part of the e-mail from this dude. Nothing about it offends me.
This is my best friend's letter! When she sent it to me, I had to take reading breaks because the grammar and spelling were so horrible. I think the saddest thing is that he seems like a normal guy-- not an English or psych major or anything-- but then he sends one drunken email and you see that he's secretly a raving crazy.
'Few ex-boyfriends appreciate the primacy of laziness on the decision whether or not to sleep with them again'
Something tells me few guys, boyfriend or not, appreciate this. Hey guy, she's not trying to marry you – she doesn't feel like risking bad sex or an STD with some stranger.
My "quest" involves being with lots of different girls to reach enlightenment, but it's totally impossible that your life's journey would involve being with many men (you slut). Also, don't you want me?!?
i never get through reading most of these because it's the exact same guy saying the exact same crap for way too long. i prefer the ones where the guy is just simply, blatantly rude, not a philosophizing ninny.
@elixthecat: Yeah. They've got to stop asking the English Lit students to send these in. Though I guess it stands to reason that some of the ultimate douches aren't sending long break-up emails. they've moved onto crap texts. And crap Twitters. Or just falling off the face of the planet instead of officially breaking up.
"I can only hope that you realize that I am, unquestionably, the best choice."
Whiskey tango foxtrot? Did this fucknard copy this gem from one of his cover letters?
In a strange way, though, I feel for him and I get what he's saying, though in way too many flowery words: Stop stringing me along. Do you like me or not? If you don't, just say so. I've sent more than one email like this in my time (although mine were better edited).
07/23/09
You must be at least THIS tolerable to ride this ride.
07/23/09
07/23/09
07/23/09
07/22/09
07/22/09
Something tells me few guys, boyfriend or not, appreciate this. Hey guy, she's not trying to marry you – she doesn't feel like risking bad sex or an STD with some stranger.
07/22/09
07/22/09
07/22/09
07/22/09
07/22/09
07/22/09
Don't get "freaked out" if she doesn't give a shit. unbelievable.
07/22/09
Whiskey tango foxtrot? Did this fucknard copy this gem from one of his cover letters?
In a strange way, though, I feel for him and I get what he's saying, though in way too many flowery words: Stop stringing me along. Do you like me or not? If you don't, just say so. I've sent more than one email like this in my time (although mine were better edited).
07/22/09
Yes, your novel here has made that abundantly clear. Perhaps you meant you could NOT care less? GAH!! fuckstick.
07/22/09
07/22/09
"men who seek out many women"
"being so close with so many [women]".....
Check out Professor Antiquated Euphemisms, over here!
07/22/09
07/22/09
But it's part of her grand "quest," darling! If your quest is to surround yourself with many women, and hers is to fuck with you a little bit.
07/22/09