• Victoria Beckham might be adding shoes and accessories to her dress collection, because she's apparently sick of advertising other designers' goods. [Sun]
• Fergie says she wanted her Avon scent to smell "fresh, and yet modern at the same time." [People]

• There is one image from Sonia Rykiel's lingerie collection for H&M on the Internet. The collection, modeled by Caroline Trentini, Anne Vyalitsyna, and Lara Stone, features a lot of rosettes, some in perhaps ill-considered places. (Rosette nipples, anyone?) [Nitrolicious]
• Lady Gaga says during the filming of Beyoncé's video for the upcoming single "Video Phone," she aped Beyoncé's style and choreography so well the crew took to calling her "Gee-yoncé." Gaga also says she and Beyoncé are working on music together next. [People]
• Meanwhile, if anyone were ever destined to receive an Accessories Council Excellence Award, it's Gaga. [WWD]
• Fashion's Night Out: becoming an annual event, according to Mayor Bloomberg. Who should know. [WWD]
• Christian Lacroix says, in this annoying all-caps interview, "THE TRIBUNAL WILL DECIDE ON OCTOBER 27TH WHICH « DOSSIER » THEY'LL FAVOR. FALICS SUBMITED ONE, SOME OTHER FINANCIAL PEOPLE DID TOO AND I CHOSE TO GIVE MY SUPPORT AND SIGNATURE TO THE SHEIKH OF AJMAN WHO SEEMS TO BE THE STRONGEST SOLUTION. WE'LL SEE...WHATEVER WILL BE THE NEWS ON NEXT TUESDAY IT WILL BE A RELIEF." The designer also said, of his house's erstwhile collaborations with Pucci and Hermès, "IT WAS NO MORE POSSIBLE WITH OUR LAST AMERICAN BACKERS. WE'LL SEE WITH THE NEXT. IF I'M STILL PART OF THE VENTURE." If? If? If he's still part of the venture? It's too early in the morning for this heart-rending inconstancy. [UnNouveauIdeal]
• And with that, hearings on the $100 million Emirati bid to take over the house of Lacroix have been delayed until November 17. The bankruptcy judge nonetheless says it is "likely" the sheikh's bid will be the one approved. [AFP]
• Don't expect a Givenchy H&M collection anytime soon. Although the brand put together a capsule collection, at 40% off its regular astronomical pricepoint, for Barneys New York, designer Riccardo Tisci says of mass-market diffusion collaborations, "It's too early. I'm still building the brand, and we want to stay on image." Tisci also revealed he's in New York to work on costumes for a secret show. "I'm here for work on an upcoming show in 2011, which I'm doing all the costumes for. I can't say much more, but the performance is a combination of music and opera, and will travel worldwide. A project like this has been my dream." Sounds intriguing. [Fashionologie]
• Julianne Moore says working with Tom Ford as a director was easy. "Tom is incredibly, incredibly meticulous and has a work ethic like nothing I've ever seen," says the actress. "He works very, very hard and is always very prepared and cares about every tiny detail." [People]
• Eric Ripert, chef of Le Bernardin, on Roberto Cavalli's habit of sitting down at Italian restaurant Serafina and ordering from Manana, the Mexican place next door: "I would find that very insulting. And I won't let him! It's like me going to Roberto Cavalli and then asking the designer next door to bring a dress for my wife, and then dress her in his boutique. I would not do that. I would go to Hermès." Burn, Cavalli! [Grub Street]
• The Sun has its nose out of joint about the press copy accompanying Kate Moss's new perfume. "The fragrance opens with illuminating pink pepper, white freesia and invigorating mandarin. Warm base notes of tonka bean, vanilla and skin musks add a depth and refinement," is kind of disgustingly over-the-top as PR speak goes. But anything that prompts a cranky old Englishman to write the words "Nobel Prize for shit-erature" goes back to being OK in our book. [Sun]
• Steve Madden, everybody's favorite just-like-the-runway-but-made-of-pleather-and-still-over-$100 shoemaker, is getting into the clothing business. It will be women's wear, made under license, and expect to see its "Bohemian flair" in department stores early next year. [Crains]
• There's now a bullshit term for world leaders wearing jeans: Power Jeans. [WSJ]
• And there's a new bullshit term for idiotically priced jeans, too. $300-and-up denim will no longer be known by that hideous pre-recession term, "Premium Jeans." It is, instead, "Artisanal Jeans." [NYTimes]
• Ellen Von Unwerth says, of her favorite shot, "I took this maybe three years ago, on a fashion shoot for Italian Vogue. We developed a romantic story to go with it: a woman comes back to the place where she grew up, and finds it all dusty and falling apart. We shot it in a chateau in Paris. The girl was a model, and it was the only time I worked with her. After this, she disappeared. She was from eastern Europe, Romania maybe, and even the agency couldn't find her again. So she's like a ghost. The picture certainly has a ghostly feeling." For some reason, we find this really disturbing. And sad. What happened to this girl? [Guardian]
• Carlos Falchi sure seems like an upright guy. Reports the Times: "Once he said to a girl, 'That's my bag.' She didn't care for the remark, but then it sank in that this pot-bellied, gray-haired guy with silver bracelets was really him, the designer Carlos Falchi. Maybe in an age of brands and manufactured nostalgia she didn't even think he was real. She called her mother, who bought the bag 30 years before, and put Mr. Falchi on the phone and then closed the celebrity moment with a photo." Falchi's Target line debuts on November 1. [NYTimes]
• Duckie Brown co-designer Steven Cox got to thinking about men's and women's fashion after Miuccia Prada said recently that men's wear should be more influenced by women's wear. "Originally we had this whole conversation about using women's fabric. I don't really agree with that," said Cox, of the Duckie Brown collection. "Because what makes a fabric women's? You know, there is no penis or vagina in a fabric. Like, why is chiffon women's and why is it not men's? I don't know." [The Cut]
• Saks, eyeing the success of sample sale e-tailers like Gilt, is looking to replicate their tactics, and host its own online sample sales. [WSJ]
• Avon earned $156.2 million in the third quarter. Last year, during the same period, the company made $222.6 million. [Crains]

A tipster with an enviable magazine collection pointed us to this spread, which is still viewable on the American photographer's website. (It's collected with his 2005 editorial work for the magazine.)

In addition to often exploring themes of sexual violence and power in his work, Klein has a certain habit of changing models' skin tones with makeup. In September, 2008, American Vogue printed an editorial that featured the white Brazilian model Caroline Trentini painted the color of burnt Cheetos; earlier this year, in some work for Vogue Paris, Klein had Dutch model Lara Stone posed with male models who were made up alternately in a deep tan, presumably to contrast with her very fair skin, or in matte yellow and red. This month, of course, it is Stone whom Klein photographed in blackface.

Racialicious ran a persuasive post earlier this week that argued that these kinds of images, where white women are made to appear black, actually further white privilege:

"[W]hat is on display in French Vogue...is not beautiful black bodies, but what Nirmal Puwar describes as 'the universal empty point' that white female bodies are able to occupy precisely because their bodies are racially unmarked."

Because as long as white remains the "default" race — the ethnicity that isn't — temporarily portraying them as black doesn't prove we live in a post-racial society: it just demonstrates that white people are permitted to play with racial categories in ways that people of color are generally not.

Also, there remains the issue of real black models, and the continued discrimination they face. Jourdan Dunn recently told Teen Vogue about being turned away from a casting at the last minute because the client had simply opted not to use any black models that season; although since we started counting models of color at New York Fashion Week, the level of overall diversity has improved, it is still very much a concern. The issue of Vogue Paris that featured Klein's blackface editorial with Stone, the so-called "Supermodels" issue, had no models of color.

This issue of Italian Vogue also had zero models of color in its editorial pages. None.

The fashion world's myopia when it comes to diversity — which is the underlying problem here — is also clouding some people's reactions to the Vogue Paris spread.

"I have a hard time reading 'race' into this," says a puzzled Teri Agins, the Wall Street Journal's veteran fashion reporter.

Elizabeth Gates, in an insightful essay, compares the Paris Vogue spread to "a modern minstrel show," but says, as a black woman working in fashion, she is utterly unsurprised by Steven Klein's photography and Carine Roitfeld's editorial choices: "I would be fooling myself if I thought the draftsmen behind fashion's most beautiful things were ever going to be sensitive to race, black women, or how they represent our cultural history. In fact, I'm not exactly sure why this was a shock to anyone." Elle's Anne Slowey admits, "It's an industry filled with people who have no idea about history and politics."

Maybe it's time to start learning.

Steven Klein [Official Website]
Blackface And The Violence Of Revulsion [Racialicious]
Back To Blackface [Daily Beast]
Duh! Of Course Fashion's Racist [Daily Beast]

Earlier: Oh No They Didn't: French Vogue Does Blackface
Self-Reflection: A Bizarre, Macabre Short Story Brought to You By Vogue
February French Vogue: Steven Klein Model Zombies & NSFW Nan Goldin
Fashion Week Runways Were Almost A Total Whitewash
How Did New York Fashion Week's 116 Shows Treat Models Of Color?

The cover hearkens back to 1991, the last September issue of Vogue we could find that had fewer than 600 pages. For comparison's sake: Last year's had 796, 2007's had a record-breaking 840. And 1996's had 700.

Do you think the advertising crunch and the precipitous decline in consumer spending might make Vogue do something a little different, a little out-there, a little untested?


Why, no!

Charlize Theron, this month's cover subject, has graced Vogue a total of four times — in October, 2000, October, 2004, October, 2007, and now again in September, 2009. In the last three instances, the South African actress was photographed by Mario Testino.


But that's not the only place in the magazine that had us rubbing our eyes with déjà vu. As other bloggers have pointed out, the Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott-shot editorial with Natalia Vodianova as Little Red Riding Hood from this September's Vogue bears a striking resemblance to...


A Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott-shot editorial with model Doutzen Kroes as Goldilocks, which was published in the August, 2007, issue of W.


The Natalia Vodianova spread for Vogue is called "Into The Woods."


The Doutzen Kroes editorial for W is also called "Into The Woods."


Both the editorials even boast creepy masked soft-toy molesters.


Grace Coddington, the fashion editor for this shoot, can sometimes be a little derivative for my tastes; in recent years, we've seen her turn The Wizard of Oz and Romeo and Juliet into editorial spreads that didn't add much to their source material. "Into The Woods" fits perfectly with that trend.


Natalia's absolutely wretched 'do in those pictures is not a fluke: this issue's full of deeply bizarre hair. You took one for the team here, Liya Kebede.


And in this shot, it's as if you can see Karlie Kloss thinking, "Really, Guido Palau? Really?"


I, for one, am getting just a little bit sick of seeing this particular photo re-made. This, David Sims' version...

...owes as much to an interpretation from last September's Vogue by Patrick Demarchelier, featuring model Catherine McNeil...


...as it does to the Richard Avedon original, with Jean Shrimpton, from the September, 1965, Harper's Bazaar.


Dodai already did an excellent LOLVogue! on the rest of David Sims' editorial. Karlie Kloss has apparently wrested the Vogue showjumping title from Caroline Trentini. The St. Louis teenager has an astonishing three editorial appearances in this issue — four if you count an Annie Leibovitz portrait of her, which runs alongside a short profile of Karlie by Sally Singer.


But what's amazing about that Leibovitz shot is just how much it looks like another portrait the legendary photographer recently took of a young starlet.


I'm referring, of course, to the photograph of Miley Cyrus that Annie Leibovitz took for the June, 2008, issue of Vanity Fair. Karlie and Miley are photographed with the same dampened hair, the same skin that's lit extremely pale, and the same red lips on a nude face. They even share a similar pose and both are shot against the same backdrop. The fact is that even though Cyrus and Kloss were roughly the same age when when they were photographed by Leibovitz — Cyrus was 15, Kloss, who only turned 17 earlier this month, would have been 16 — this photo is certain to draw less ire. That says more about our culture's parallel impossible expectations for the few young women who make it in the entertainment business than anything else: we demand that our pop stars remain forever young, and we expect our models to impersonate adult women from the time they hit 5'9".


Steven Meisel has a 16-page editorial with models Liya Kebede, Karen Elson, Coco Rocha, Sasha Pivovarova, and Viktoriya Sasonkina. It's shot in and around Manhattan's Essex House hotel and styled by Grace Coddington.


Something about the spread, though, suggests this was one of Meisel's autopilot days.


This shot, by Meisel for the February, 2009, issue of Vogue, has a different color palette than the "In The Mood" bicycle picture, but the quirky period styling, the models' poses, and the hats, all nonetheless echo it.


This shot, of Viktoriya Sasonkina, from September's Vogue is lovely.


Until you remember that Meisel shot Sasonkina for last September's Vogue Italia in virtually the same pose, and practically the same dress, in a nearly identically-themed 40s editorial.


Liya Kebede, in the September Vogue spread, looks divine.


And "In The Mood" really hits its stride when it starts playing with the murals in the background. Coco Rocha looks like she could be jumping out of that painting.


And I love those creepy hands.


But again, it's hard not to think of Meisel's old Vogue Italia story, with Sasonkina.


Probably the best editorial of the bunch in this year's slimmed-down September Vogue is Steven Klein's offering, "Take Cover."


Karlie Kloss and Caroline Trentini star as two futuristic gals about town.


They are armed and they are dangerous. And what's more, this editorial mercifully does not appear to be a direct re-shoot of anything else.

Fresh ideas: how novel.


Earlier:Harper's Bazaar: Talking About That "Recession" Thing Is Just "Really Annoying" Now
LOLVogue: I Purmd Mai Hare!

The September, 2007, Vogue, which sold 13 million copies, weighed nearly five pounds, and its 840 pages made it the single largest magazine ever published. Seven-hundred and twenty-seven of those pages were ads. When publisher Tom Florio exhorts the magazine's advertising sales team to "sell Vogue the brand like it's never been sold before," you feel it: this is what things were like when economic growth and consumer spending were lockstep in one upward trend, and magazines like Vogue could reliably put out Our Biggest Issue Ever, every year.

You feel it when Grace Coddington reports that Wintour, in killing shots from a lavish 1920s-themed spread, has "just thrown out probably $50,000 worth of work." You feel it when Wintour, having seen stills from an editorial with a color-blocking theme, orders a re-shoot, with different models, different clothes, and a different photographer. (No sum is supplied for the cost of that waste of daily rates, studio rental, and catering.)

You also feel it when Wintour is filmed with her deputy, Sally Singer, at a retailer luncheon the magazine has convened. Retailers are nervous about certain of the things they've seen on the fall runways, and they rely on Wintour as a kind of emissary to the design world; when Singer prompts her boss to share their "good news," Wintour tilts her head and reports that she has spoken to "Mrs. Prada" several times, and that she has agreed to "reinterpret" certain of her runway looks in a more wearable silk-mohair blend, instead of the wool-mohair she had shown on the catwalk. The assembled tableful of executives from Saks and Bergdorf's practically coo with appreciation.

After that decree is handed down to such a happy reception, Burt Tansky, the president and C.E.O. of Neiman Marcus, starts to ask Wintour a long question about delivery schedules. Designers, it seems, are making late and infrequent deliveries, which retailers feel cost them sales; customers want what's new right now. Tansky uses the phrase "demand outstripping supply" several times. It is a shocking moment: it's as if the incredible glut of oversupply, the $3,000 handbag bubble that rose through the market during the years of easy credit and burst last fall in a mess of steep discounting and steeper layoffs, had risen up, taken over Tansky's body, and thunderously demanded to be fed.

Wintour's response is equally shocking: given her magazine's role in pushing the culture of consumption, the culture of "aspirational" consumerism and "It" bags, one might expect Wintour to tell the titans of retail that she will speak to these tardy designers and tell them what's what. But instead she dresses down Tansky, giving him a politician's non-response about how she "hears what he is saying" and that it boils down to a problem of "editing." She says some of the younger designers have trouble editing their collections down, and she will see what she can do. Never mind that "editing" is almost the exact opposite of Tansky's concern; Wintour gets up from the table and leaves. And one is confronted with the surprising sense that, whether or not she knew it at the time, Wintour was on the right side of that issue.

There are a number of surprising things about The September Issue, which I finally saw last night. Although Wintour comes across as fairly warm and forthcoming, the camera cannot hide her staff's authentically fearful reactions to her presence; when Wintour is perusing photo spreads with her art director, she moves slowly and deliberately down a long bench, looking at photos one by one. When she approaches a young assistant who is lingering over, or perhaps just straightening, one of the shots, Wintour, without moving a muscle, says quietly, "Excuse me." The girl jumps out of Wintour's way like she's been bitten, and Wintour continues down the line of pictures without breaking stride.

Apparently, there also must be a rider in Patrick Demarchelier's contract about being able to shoot in beautiful locations, because we witness the production of one of those terrible, jumping, grey-background editorials of which Vogue is so very fond, and it doesn't take place at Milk Studios. Demarchelier, Caroline Trentini, Coddington, and the rest of the team are whisked away to a beautiful modernist house on a wide-open expanse of land; in the living room, a grey backdrop has been hung, and what emerges is a shoot which gives no inkling of its geographical origin. The location fees alone for that shoot boggle the mind.

The adversarial but respectful relationship between Grace Coddington, Vogue's top stylist, and Wintour is also explored. While other fashion editors crumble under Wintour's reproach — Edward Enninful says after a styling critique where Wintour rejects nearly every look he has put together that he wants to kill himself — Coddington fights, both in her editor's office and via backchannels. (She's always using the documentarians to try and find out how her spreads are faring — gaining pages, losing pages, or holding steady — in the layout room.) Wintour seems to respect Coddington all the more for her willingness to scrap; it's as though, like a good boss, she wants to be challenged.

When cover subject Sienna Miller steps into the scene, an instructive juxtaposition between celebrities and models is created. (We also see Raquel Zimmerman, Caroline Trentini, Coco Rocha, and numerous other no-name girls, do their thing; during a couture shoot in Paris, Zimmerman carefully eats a fruit tart the size of a saucer, while a distressed makeup artist looks on in preparation to re-perform her handiwork.) Sienna is full of life, giddy and excited and seemingly fun — also a canny business woman: she makes sure to introduce her designer sister, Savannah, to Wintour and the Vogue team — and the models are more subdued; there's a care taken in their movements. When a source makes the argument that women like Sienna got the idea to be models because they saw the supermodels of the late 80s and early 90s take over the fashion world, and grew to covet Linda Evangelista and Christy Turlington's beautiful ubiquity, it's hard not to agree. Sienna poses and jumps and mugs for the camera like an actress trying to look like a bombastic 80s model, as if by sheer enthusiasm she could will a beautiful picture into existence, and consequently her shots take all manner of Photoshop trickery — fake backgrounds, a head from one shot Frankensteined onto the neck and shoulders from another — to finesse. Raquel and Coco know just how to move a hand or a shoulder to set off the lines of the garment, and they work at it until the shot is just right. Coddington says at one point that she wouldn't care if she never saw another celebrity again in her life; and after seeing the focus that Raquel brings to that couture shoot — which ended up in the October, 2007, issue — you can't help but kind of agree.

The film is a well-studied evocation of all the hard work that goes into producing a magazine; unfortunately, the beauty and editorial sides are a little under-represented (we briefly see a spread featuring the makeup artist Pat McGrath in the layout room, and Wintour spends one scene looking bored while a junior editor goes over story ideas for the issue. "We're focusing on the eye, because I think eyes are a real concern for all women, they're the first thing that starts to really show age, even girls in their 20s worry about their eyes," says the editor. It's like watching a need being manufactured.) Wintour emerges as a surprisingly insecure. "Just because you like to put on a beautiful Carolina Herrera dress or a pair of J Brand blue jeans instead of something basic from Kmart doesn't mean you're a dumb person" is the kind of pre-emptive defense that says more about the defender's perceptions of the attack than anything else. "People are scared of fashion — because they're frightened or insecure, so they put it down...There is something about fashion that can make people very nervous." The idea that people only hate what they do not understand — implicit in which is the idea that there are no valid grounds on which to criticize Wintour, her magazine, or the fashion industry, just hurt feelings — is about the oldest trick in the book. And it comes off like Wintour, with her intellectual heavyweight family, is shadow-boxing. Who seriously pretends these days that appreciating good design and being smart are incompatible? Wintour's eagerness to defend herself on the issue is telling.

Vogue editorial image via Luxx at The Fashion Spot

A&E IndieFilms, in addition to bringing us documentaries like Jesus Camp and co-producing The September Issue, is owned by Hearst Entertainment and Syndication. Hearst Entertainment and Syndication, as the name might suggest, is owned by Hearst. What else is owned by Hearst? Vogue competitor Harper's Bazaar, Glamour doppelganger Marie Claire, and a raft of other direct pendants to Condé Nast media properties. It's not clear that A&E IndieFilms' ownership status meant that anyone at Hearst enjoyed editorial control or creative influence over The September Issue, it is surprising that Condé Nast would accidentally put itself in its rival's hands.

And it does fit with reports that the documentary is notably harsher on Anna Wintour than previously thought.

Fashion Week Daily acquired a copy of the documentary, which isn't to be released in the U.S. and U.K. until September 11, and posted a detailed recap of its contents on the Friday before the long U.S. Memorial Day weekend. Cutler opens with a long discourse from Wintour, defending fashion on intellectual grounds, and calling people who criticize the fashion industry frightened:

"What I often see is that people are scared of fashion — because they're frightened or insecure, so they put it down. On the whole, people who say demeaning things about our world, I think it's because they feel in some way excluded or not part of the "cool group." Just because you like to put on a beautiful Carolina Herrera dress of a pair of J Brand blue jeans instead of something basic from K-Mart doesn't mean you're a dumb person. There is something about fashion that can make people very nervous."

It's often those who themselves are most desperate to be taken seriously who are quickest to project "insecurity" onto others. Perhaps it isn't a coincidence that Cutler, when he succeeds in getting Wintour to talk about her family, admits that her fellow high-achieving siblings — Patrick Wintour, political editor of the Guardian, Nora Wintour, deputy-general secretary of the Public Services International union, and James Wintour, an official with the Gravesham Borough Council who works in low-income housing — all regard her work with, she believes, "amusement."

What seems to emerge as a theme of the film, however, is Anna Wintour's relationship with Vogue stylist and former model Grace Coddington. Coddington, unhappy about the documentary team, threatened to quit the magazine and resisted Cutler's attempts to film her for months, the director recalled. (Coddington eventually relented, and Cutler's team's presence at one of her shoots led to a charming picture of Caroline Trentini and a cameraman, jumping together for an editorial.)

Wintour says that the cameraman's stomach needs retouching. "You need to go to the gym!" she says, not remotely in jest. (This is the woman who ordered Oprah to drop 20 lbs before shooting her for the cover, and who bullied André Leon Talley into taking up tennis, a sport he is filmed pursuing while decked out in Damon Dash pants, a Polo Ralph Lauren shirt, a vintage diamond Piaget watch, a Louis Vuitton towel, a Louis Vuitton racquet cover, and a Louis Vuitton gym bag.) Coddington rejects Wintour's criticism of the cameraman's body — "Everybody isn't perfect in this world. It's enough that the models are perfect. You don't need to go to the gym" — but she waits for her boss to leave the room before airing her disagreement.

The film also apparently gives an unprecedentedly detailed look at Wintour's managerial style and her level of involvement with the magazine. Wintour retains absolute creative control over every editorial shot. She does not shy from killing spreads by talented and proven long-time collaborators, such as Edward Enninful (Coddington's story with Trentini is a re-shoot of an Enninful effort) and Coddington herself. "I'm in a really foul mood right now because they've just killed another spread of my '20s story, and they're about to kill another one," says Coddington, at one point. "And they're all lying to me about it. It's just incredibly boring."

She also kills a spread with models Hilary Rhoda and Chanel Iman, jumping. (This was during Vogue's long, just-ended drought of faces of color on its editorial pages — it's interesting to note that Iman, who is black, was even in the running for inclusion in American Vogue in September 2007.)

It's no wonder, really, that her publication's creativity so often ends up channeled into the inevitable jumping editorial, the inevitable lavish-but-boring set piece. Wintour's nit-picking leaves even the talented eyes and minds around her too hamstrung to function.

If the full film is as critical as FWD maintains, then that means Anna Wintour has made one move worthy of respect: allowing Cutler to film her, no-holds-barred. But will Condé Nast be pleased at the results?

The September Issue, Revealed! [FWD]
More Details from The September Issue Vogue Documentary Featuring Anna Wintour and Grace Coddington [Fashionologie]
Hearst Takes On Condé [FWD]
Film reveals soft side to Vogue's icy style queen Anna Wintour [Guardian]

Earlier:
Vogue Documentary Is Delicious & Devil-ish

In the article, an edited transcript of the proceedings at Minetta Tavern, Campbell is hard to dissuade from reminiscing about her era of fashion — Naomi's main conversational mode in the segment being wistful self-aggrandizement. Her train of thought is interrupted when the Czech supermodel interjects:

Paulina: But it's not the tight cliques anymore, which in a way is good, too, because if you were not part of the clique you were definitely left out.
Naomi: I don't think so. I loved being part of a group of girls. It was so supportive.
Paulina: You were in a clique, Naomi.

In the video, the exchange doesn't appear, and, what's more, it seems edited so that Porizkova and Campbell have as little interaction as possible.

Which isn't to say that the video is lacking for points of interest. Karlie Kloss, the 16-year-old St. Louis supermodel wünderkind, yearns for the days when fashion photography explored personality, and says the models of her generation are expected to be "blank slates" who "have to fit in the mold." (She also says she was extremely hurt when a rumor, which was and is flatly untrue, surfaced last year that she suffered from anorexia and was seeking in-patient treatment.) Caroline Trentini admits she still lacks confidence in herself and her body, and Iman reflects on being Yves Saint Laurent's muse for his "African Queen" couture collection. Lauren Hutton looks shocked when Trentini says that, until she took a holiday this winter, she had worked full-time all year, every year, for the past six years, from the age of 15 onwards. "That's insane, that should not be allowed," says Hutton. "That's criminal."

Porizkova takes that as her cue to get an ornery word in. Looking right at Kloss, who shot to industry fame when she was barely 15, Porizkova says, "If models were no longer 15 and 16, if there was an age prohibit, that would be a really great thing." It's impossible to tell Karlie's reaction before a video montage of tea being poured rolls and someone changes the subject.

Naomi Campbell, Iman, Caroline Trentini, Karlie Kloss, And More Discuss The Business Of Modeling [Style.com]

Boyfriends of fashion models. Who are these guys? What do they do? How did they meet their unusually tall, usually foreign other halves? As an actor would say, What's their motivation? Vogue's May issue produced a handy guide to several of the most common varieties.

1. The Fellow Model

As modeled by Arlenis Sosa Pena and Rene Rodriguez
Representative sentence from magazine copy: "When asked if they ever shop together, they answer in unison, 'Always!' "

Pros:

• Knows the industry, understands its demands
• Empathizes with the indignity of having your hair pulled for a living (kinda — this happens less to boys)
• Can tell you if you look castings-ready or not in the mornings

Cons:

• You can wear his clothes. But he can also wear yours.
• You both do the exact same thing for a living every day. What on earth are you going to talk about?

2. The Photo Assistant

As modeled by Julia Stegner and Steven Pan
Representative sentence from magazine copy: "Her nickname for him — Schatzi — means 'honey' in her native German, and when they're not working — he's Steven Meisel's first assistant — they seek out surfing or snowboarding."

Pros:

• Can always arrange a happy-accident run-in for you with his boss
• Will probably be a famous photographer in his own right one day
• Creative and driven
• Much better than sleeping with Gilles Bensimon

Cons:

• Almost certainly shorter than you

3. The Minor Player From The Industry Penumbra

As modeled by Chanel Iman and Tyga
Representative sentence from magazine copy: " 'Shopping with her? We'd be there all day,' teases the hip-hop artist. 'I'd rather just buy her something.' "

As modeled by Doutzen Kroes and Greg Andrews (DJ Ruckus)
Representative sentence from magazine copy: " 'I saw Greg from far away, and I had to go over there. I said, Who are you?' 'And I asked, Who am I? Who are you?' he says, laughing."

Pros:

• Never have to worry about him not getting into the party
• Compensates for his gnawing insecurity by constantly practicing being suave and charming (just like he wasn't in high school)
• Will buy you things

Cons:

• Gay?

4. The Non-Industry Guy

As modeled by Anna Maria Jagodzinska and Duncan Winecoff
Representative sentence from the magazine copy: " 'Anna is the most curious person I know. She's always online looking for travel and volunteer opportunities,' like the eleven-day safari that they just took in Tanzania, where they stayed in tents and tree houses."

Pros:

• Full of fascinating tidbits about non-fashion industry topics. Probably reads the newspaper.
• Will feel extra-specially "lucky" to have "landed" you for about 50% longer than any other guy; this knowledge, sensitively deployed, will give you a tactical advantage in arguments
• Jagodzinska: "The nicest things that he does for me are so often the simplest ones. Like having a cup of green tea ready for me when I get home at night."

Cons:

• Deep, deep down, he probably thinks what he does is more important than what you do, which feels crushing, even though it's probably technically true

5. The Son-Of

As modeled by Caroline Trentini and Victor Demarchelier
Representative sentence from magazine copy: "She doesn't remember the first time they saw each other on a shoot [she was the model; he was assisting his photographer father], three years ago."

Pros:

• Has that vast self-assurance native to those raised in extraordinary wealth
• Cultured and smart; good conversationalist, from all those times Mom and Dad had dignitaries and titans of industry over
• Exploring some different career and business options just at present

Cons:

• Has that vast self-assurance native to those raised in extraordinary wealth

Featured are the nine models everyone pretty much assumed — and no, Lara Stone didn't get spiked, as had been rumored. On the front cover are Liya Kebede - the third black woman on Vogue's cover in as many months - Natalia Vodianova, and Anna Maria Jagodzinska. Isabeli Fontana, Stone, Jourdan Dunn, Raquel Zimmerman, Caroline Trentini, and Natasha Poly share the fold-out. I can't tell for certain what the nine are wearing, but if I'm not mistaken, Dunn, Stone, and possibly Vodianova have on dresses by Rodarte.

An honest-to-goodness surprise? Anna Wintour allowed Steven Meisel to put Jagodzinska, a relative newcomer and the current focus of the photographer's frequently-shifting attentions, right up front next to the established supermodels, Kebede and Vodianova. Jagodzinska is no overnight success, like Dunn — she's been working since 2004, although she quit in 2006 before coming back in a major way last year — but her most significant cover prior to this was Vogue Australia. That's like going from drinking out of a handsome silver julep cup (and feeling pretty good about it), to supping from the holy grail itself. A hell of a step up for the blonde Pole, and, on the part of Wintour, an unusual nod to the fashion-forward audience that would most easily recognize her.

The cover bears American Vogue's signature apparent use of Photoshop. Something's off around Isabeli Fontana's jaw line, and there's an unreal look to all the overlapping heads. At least the retouching team left Wintour's favorite Brazilian her much-vaunted freckles.

The biggest laugh? "The Man Who Made Them Stars" is a cover line that teases to a story about Meisel, who shot the main inside editorial, which is a 21-model extravaganza titled, not so humbly, "The Godfather," and which includes two group shots with the man himself. Meisel, though an extraordinarily influential (and deservingly admired) photographer, did not "make" all nine girls on his cover "stars." Jourdan Dunn was chosen by casting superagent Russell Marsh to walk for the Prada fall/winter 08 show, which launched the Londonite into the industry's good books. Lara Stone, after working all over the world in relative obscurity for over five years, switched agencies and attracted the attention of Givenchy designer Ricardo Tisci before Meisel ever started using her for Italian Vogue. Liya Kebede made it big when Tom Ford cast her in his shows back when he designed for Gucci. Natasha Poly doesn't really owe her career to Meisel, either. Let's be honest and call "The Man Who Made Them Stars" this issue's first Cover Lie.

[Image via user Luxx at The Fashion Spot]

Earlier: Handicapping The May Vogue Cover Models: Our Best Bets

Vogue's May issue is in honor of the Met's annual Costume Institute Gala, a to-do that editor in chief Anna Wintour always supports. This year, the Costume Institute's exhibit is all about the model as muse — and for months now, rumors have been flying about a multi-model Vogue cover exploring the model/muse theme. It is said to celebrate Wintour's picks of the current top girls, and be shot by Steven Meisel.

Kind of like the November, 1999, cover, which featured Kate Moss, Lauren Hutton, Iman, Gisele Bundchen, Naomi Campbell, Stephanie Seymour, Claudia Schiffer, Amber Valletta, Christy Turlington, Patti Hansen, Lisa Taylor, Paulina Porizkova, and Carolyn Murphy. The photographer was Annie Leibovitz, and I have to say, the image has aged rather well.

The last time Vogue did a models cover, for the May, 2007, issue, an image of it leaked in early April, which rather dulled the suspense, if not the excitement of seeing Hilary Rhoda, Doutzen Kroes, Lily Donaldson, Sasha Pivovarova, Coco Rocha, Chanel Iman, Caroline Trentini, Raquel Zimmerman, Agnyess Deyn, and Jessica Stam together under the tagline "The World's Next Top Models."

It's safe to say that this time, Condé Nast won't mistakenly upload the cover early to Style.com, or do anything else to let its secret out of the bag. And so American Vogue, the commercial monthly that perceives boundless reader enthusiasm for what Cathy Horyn called "the 'villa in Tuscany' story," natural home of the humiliating beauty writer first-person piece, originator of the suggestion that we prick our body fat with needles, overall the safest and plainest of the world's fashion tomes, finds itself the object of a fever pitch of fashionistas' speculation. Anna Wintour, this is not the Twilight Zone. This is merely what happens when you pick good models and good photographers, and trust them to do good work.

What we think we know about this issue

Word is, the key to understanding May Vogue and its casting is: Steven Meisel. In addition to the cover girls and their inside editorial, there is said to be an editorial spread dedicated to the kingmaker photographer's all-time favorite muses — models like Karen Elson, Naomi Campbell (who mentioned shooting something "top secret" with Meisel earlier this year), Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington, Jessica Stam, Gisele Bundchen, Daria Werbowy, and Coco Rocha are all tipped to be involved. There is also rumored to be a third editorial all about Meisel's current crop of favorites, which would basically be a consolation prize for the models who didn't make the cover.

What would be a nice surprise? Seeing some new work from Irving Penn. Although he's now 95, the great photographer does still shoot — and Vogue under Anna Wintour has always made itself an eager venue for his work.

Kate Moss is co-chairing this year's Costume Institute gala, so it's hard to imagine the issue could roll out with no content relating to her — and her name has not been mentioned as one of the cast for the cover. If she doesn't have a standalone editorial, or a spot among Meisel's all-time favorites, she'll almost certainly be pictured in association with an article about the gala and/or the exhibit.

As Far As We Know, The Cover Is Likely To Feature

Caroline Trentini, Brazilian. Chances: Shoo-in

Trentini confirmed her position on the cover in an interview she gave at Sao Paulo fashion week earlier this month. Trentini is a longtime favorite of Wintour's, and she can be seen jumping in head-to-toe runway looks against a variety of studio backgrounds in basically any issue of American Vogue from the past four years. She went on a long holiday this winter, and only interrupted it for two very special jobs — walking in the fall/winter Yves Saint Laurent show for Stefano Pilati in Paris, and shooting the May cover of American Vogue in New York. Trentini said there were a total of nine models at the shoot, and called the photo "historic." She also confirmed Isabeli Fontana and Raquel Zimmerman were shot for the cover. Trentini was on the last Vogue cover that featured models, and by this point, Anna Wintour's patronage of her makes Trentini's supermodelhood a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Isabeli Fontana, Brazilian. Chances: Shoo-in

Why would Trentini lie to us? Isabeli Fontana is well known as a Victoria's Secret girl and all-round sex bomb. She's stalked the runway for years, and did time as Donatella Versace's muse, which fits the issue's theme.

Raquel Zimmerman, Brazilian. Chances: Shoo-in

Besides being confirmed during Trentini's little sit-down with the hometown press, Zimmerman is a Wintour favorite in her own right. Like her freckled compatriot, Zimmerman was on the last multi-model cover, and the Vogue editor's attitude towards her has not appreciably changed since.

Natalia Vodianova, Russian. Chances: Strong

Brazil's RG Vogue named the Russian model — a longtime face of Calvin Klein, who has been extensively featured in American Vogue — among the cover stars. (The same source confirmed Zimmerman, Fontana, Natasha Poly, and Liya Kebede.) Potential problem? RG Vogue said in its story, dated February 13, that the cover would feature eight models, and all subsequent intelligence, including the Trentini interview linked above, points to it having nine. (This would be logical, as there were actually nine muses: Calliope, Clio, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia, and Urania. But you knew that.) How much that crucial counting difference actually casts RG Vogue's source in doubt is up to you.

Liya Kebede, Ethiopian. Chances: Strong

Liya Kebede, in case you haven't noticed, is black. Anna Wintour has borne the brunt of (well-deserved) criticism as of late for featuring black models so rarely (not to mention that atrocious LeBron James/Gisele Bundchen cover). This year, Vogue has made sure to up its game: the ladymag has run editorials depicting Jourdan Dunn and Chanel Iman, and the past two covers have featured black women, Michelle Obama and then Beyoncé. How much you wanna bet Wintour would be the type to bolster her publication's some-of-our-best-friends-are-black defense by putting Kebede on her cover and calling it three in a row? To point it out as a cynical maneuver on the part of Wintour is not to impugn Kebede's worth as a cover choice: in fact, she has gotten the cover of American Voguesolo once before, and her work dates back to the 90s, when she was a favorite of Tom Ford. Just this past season, as if to prove she's still got it, she opened Balenciaga and took the Paris shows by storm. She's earned this cover, as a model and a muse, many times over already.

Natasha Poly, Russian. Chances: Strong

If you believe RG Vogue's source, she's in. Poly opens and/or closes every runway show, everywhere, always. She's walked for more designers for more seasons than any other model can shake a stiletto at, and frankly, being the reigning catwalk queen should count for something.

Jourdan Dunn, British. Chances: High

Dunn became the first black model to walk for Prada in over ten years when she was cast in its fall/winter 2008 show. (Then Prada, having done its bit for diversity, promptly went back to never using non-white models.) Dunn has been in American Vogue before, so she wouldn't be entirely unexpected, even though she is a newer model. Besides, Trentini says she's in.

Anna Maria Jagodzinska, Polish. Chances: Fair

Jagodzinska is definitely one of Meisel's current favorite models, and she's been featured in the pages of Vogue before. (What, you didn't remember this story?) Jagodzinska's bagged 12 campaigns this season. But I couldn't find a source exactly confirming her presence on the cover — although her name keeps coming up in online discussions, and ONTD thinks she's in.

Lara Stone, Dutch. Chances: Dicey

Back when speculation about this cover was only just beginning to brew, The Imagist claimed it had on good authority that the eight-model cover would feature "one very unexpected choice sure to send the fashionspot nation buzzing. It must be nice for a girl to make her US Vogue debut on a cover, no?" Stone, a fashion favorite who has never been in American Vogue, fits that description perfectly. But if the 25-year-old Dutch beauty is known for being anyone's muse, aside from the designer Ricardo Tisci, it's definitely Caroline Roitfeld, the Vogue Paris editor and Wintour's ultimate frenemy. (Roitfeld dedicated an entire issue of her magazine to Lara's beauteous form only this February.) Would Wintour really want to implicitly nod to her rival's good judgment? Also, a more recent rumor has surfaced that one of the original girls was cut from the cover photo following her appearance in an editorial that Wintour thought distasteful. That could well be this one.

Karlie Kloss, American. Chances: Slim

Kloss would be the only American national on the cover, if she were to be featured. When the Lara-spiking rumors started to swirl, Kloss's was one of the first names to surface as a potential replacement. The lithe St. Louis teen is a confirmed favorite of Meisel's, and Wintour loves to be able to say she's down with the next big thing — plus, Kloss fills Stone's same niche in the lineup as the industry insiders' choice, not the mainstream girl. Kloss walked over 60 runways in a single season before even turning 16, and she's been in American Vogue several times this year already.

Arlenis Sosa, Dominican. Chances: Slim

Sosa is another model whose name has been bandied about as a possible new Stone. (Replacing girls on covers is not unusual — normally magazines shoot several cover options, and there may have been several different configurations of models shot for this one. Sometimes, airbrushing is used to just re-arrange people — rumor has it, Amber Valletta was shot separately and added later to that November '99 cover.) Why this might be unlikely? Sosa is, in case you haven't noticed, also black. And while Wintour seems increasingly keen to prove her magazine's diversity cred, she'd probably think two black cover models — Kebede and Dunn — were just plenty. Moderation in all things, that's Vogue to a T, after all.

The velvet curtain will be gently tugged back as soon as the issue hits newsstands, which should be April 21, but generally happens earlier in the major US cities. The cover will be released online a few days beforehand. For once in my life, I actually can't wait to get my hands on an American Vogue. You win this round, Anna.

SCOOP DU JOUR: US VOGUE MULTI-GIRL COVER BREWING [The Imagist]
Naomi Campbell, Vogue, Caroline Trentini [Fashionologie]
Super 8, Vogue America [RG Vogue]
SPFW Entrevista: Carol Trentini [Sao Paulo Fashion Week]
Cover Girls for May 2009 American Vogue [ONTD]

Earlier: New York Times Bets Against Anna Wintour & American Vogue
Vogue's Not Racist, Three Black Models Prove It
Is Vogue's Lebron/Kong Cover Offensive?
Self Reflection: A Bizarre & Macabre Short Story, Brought To You By Vogue

• Is former overweight person and current size-o-phobe Karl Lagerfeld changing his Hedi Slimane stripes? Beth Ditto, who in addition to being very talented, weighs somewhat more than 100 lbs, is playing a Fendi party. [FWD]

• Agyness Deyn's 17-year-old sister Emily is starting a t-shirt company with a chum named Aliyah Hussein. Their first offerings feature images of the girls' icon, Queen Elizabeth II, whom Emily called "the original gangster!" [Blackbook via Nylon]
• I have no idea why this writer seems to think female models all have drivers — that might be true of the dozen top girls who walk in every show, but, trust me, the rest of us ride public transport. But it is correct that even the top-earning male models are always paid significantly less than their female counterparts. Russian Matvey Lykov, for instance, walked 34 shows in Europe, and only made enough to buy a ticket to the Dominican Republic to relax for a spell afterwards. [LA Times]
• And the indignities just don't stop: Doutzen Kroes, the model and Victoria's Secret angel, was treated to a super-original pick-up line on the Caribbean island of St. Maarten. At a bar called Tantra, a drunk stranger cooed, "I thought you couldn't go out without your wings." Barf. [NYDN]
• The Daily News also has this horrific model blind item: "Which top model's plastic surgeon is in big trouble? He accidentally spilled acid on her chest while they were having sex in his office." That, right there, is fodder for nightmares. [NYDN]
• Caroline Trentini, the elfin, freckled Brazilian whom Anna Wintour puts in every issue of Vogue, has been less omnipresent this show season. In fact, people were wondering where she was — models of her caliber don't normally just skip the shows. Well, mystery solved! She was on exclusive for Yves Saint Laurent, whose show she closed just yesterday. [Fashionista]
• More forthcoming about his schedule is Valentino. The retired Italian designer has announced he'll be in New York on March 17 to tape an episode of The Martha Stewart Show, just ahead of the theatrical release the documentary modestly titled Valentino: The Last Emperor. I hope they bake amazing cookies, or do collage in tones of red together. [The Cut]
• According to Women's Wear Daily's "sources" — who can be pretty spot on about these things — Halston is sizing up the London designer Marios Schwab to become their new creative director. The revived Halston has struggled, and is still trying to replace Marco Zanini, the designer they let go after just two seasons last year. [WWD]
• Cathy Horyn, whose life is more fun than your own, describes what it's like to run into the people she's savaged ("I said hey to Anna...") and then hangs out with Karl Lagerfeld on his doorstep on the eve of the Chanel show. [On The Runway]
• Jil Sander might be back. After being dumped from her namesake label — and then begged to return, and then fired again — following its purchase by Prada, Sander has been a fashion orphan. Attending an industry textiles fair might mean she has a new project. Or it might not. [WWD]
• Feministing is surprised an article in H&M's in-store magazine on dressing like a tomboy ignored any hint of a queer perspective — despite using Samantha Ronson as one of its examples. Remember, girlie, it's OK to steal from your boyfriend, just remember to add that feminine touch! [Feministing]
• Beth Ditto, meanwhile, is enjoying her first fashion week in Paris. Coming off her cover spot in the first issue of Katie Grand's Love magazine, the Gossip songstress has the keys to the carrousel du louvre. And mark no fear of queer connotations on her part: Ditto's favorite thing about the Jean Paul Gaultier show was "the butch clothes! I mean that in the best way. Masculine is hot!" [FWD]
• Three different women designers — get this — respond differently to the question of how to clothe, and by extension, represent, the female body. Imagine, there's not a 1:1 correlation between being female and making feminine clothing! [International Herald-Tribune]
• Buyers at Paris fashion week aren't sure exactly what consumers are going to want to own in six months. Handbags are a sure bet in the Middle East, says one, because they can be toted freely in public despite women's clothing restrictions. Russians will still want to buy, well, everything, says a buyer for one boutique. London might be about jewelry and scarves; Paris stores aren't sure whether to under-order for a fall in demand, or bet on a surprise recovery. Left unsaid is the fact that almost nobody in retail could stand to see a repeat of last fall's choked-off sales. [Reuters]
• American Apparel, which had to recently renegotiate costly new financing of both their $75 million Bank of America revolving credit line and their $51 million loan from private equity group SOF Investments, now is approaching the March 21 deadline for both loans. [WWD]
• L.L. Bean's revenues were down $1.5 billion, or 7.8%, over the last financial year. The company expects to be making layoffs. [The Street]
• The Italian brand Tod's finished out a difficult year with enough money to give $1,700+ bonuses to all its employees, including the people who make their goods in Italy. [WWD]
• A small American fashion brand that sells its wares in France reportedly included the message "We are sorry that our president is an idiot, we did not vote for him" on the care tag. Obviously they meant Bush. Reminds one of how the teenaged Alexander McQueen stitched "I am a cunt" onto the interlining of a suit for Prince Charles when he was apprenticed to Savile Row tailors Anderson & Sheppard. [InventorSpot]

For some reason, Caroline Trentini has practically never within living memory been permitted to keep both feet on the ground in an American Vogue editorial. Anna Wintour’s favorite springy Brazilian, seemingly without regard for osteoarthritis or patellar tendonitis, casts herself nobly aloft in every season, in every setting, and in every conceivable kind of pump, flat, sandal, mule, platform, and T-strap. Sometimes in the past she's had partners in airborne crime like Elise Crombez (whatever happened to her? Did she age out of the industry at a ripe old 26?) but most often it's Carol, alone, doing what apparently comes naturally. In case you've forgotten her crucial gravity-defying role in Vogues past, they even run a June 2008 photo of her midflight in crampons and 24k gold fur on a Patagonian glacier on page 544:



So. Surprise! There's a jumping editorial in this issue. But! This time, instead of heading into mid air to sell sheath dresses to office workers (in some makebelieve world where office workers can afford Lanvin), Caroline jumps for a reason. Kind of. It took a while (in fact it took so long I'm half sure the jumping overlapped with a ready made narrative completely by accident) but Vogue finally found a story where Caroline leaping in frocks makes sense — because she's posing with the three kids who'll take turns playing Billy Elliot when it opens on Broadway October 1. Dancers! Dancers jump!


And the results are beautiful.
Seriously, the editorial is kind of breathtaking.




And then the magazine goes and ruins all the uncharacteristic pro-Vogue mojo it dredged up with that heavenly dozen pages by painting the distinctively freckled and pale Trentini the color of burnt Cheetos and giving her a vicious bikini wax so she can wear a swimsuit that makes my vulva scream and reach for the smelling salts. Oh well! The aesthetic contact high was nice while it lasted.


September Vogue to me signifies a worrisome rubicon in the gerrymandering of the definition of "model" to include any two-bit celebrity with a film or an album or a divorce to promote. (I have nothing against actors and I think Keira Knightley is a fine practitioner of her particular craft. But I don't try to do her job and I ask the same courtesy in return.) Ordinarily the actress — supposedly a ringer to drum up readership, although that paradigm appears increasingly flawed — gets the cover because she is profiled inside; the "fashion spread" accompanying the inevitable puff piece is just a bit of lifestyle-y, cult-of-celebrity-reflecting extra bang for your buck. But in this issue, there is no profile. Keira Knightley has 18 pages of this magazine to herself to illustrate a paragraph about Berlin and "the current generation of intriguing, intelligent provocateurs working there." Keira Knightley isn't an actress posing for showy portraits to illustrate, however obliquely, her own press: She's treated here like any old pretty face attached to a random (no, really random: Knightley admits she had never even been to Berlin until the shoot) concept — and a wardrobe of this season's clothes. She is, in these pages, presented more as model than actress.
So it is my judgment of her as a model and nothing less when I say she looks, on almost every page, perfectly awful. She doesn't know what to do with her hands. She doesn't know what to do with her face. She doesn't know what to do with her mouth, so in picture after picture, she lets it fall limply open. She doesn't know whether to mug for the camera or grasp for some idea of high-fashion gravitas; she sort of does both and she sort of does neither and it all comes off badly more often than not. In this jailhouse dress photo she's actually grimacing.


As one commentator noted, a propensity for holding your lips pursed and half-open makes it look like you're always blowing on an invisible bowl of soup.


Keira Knightley has more of a neck in that sketch likeness she's holding up than she does in most of this edit. One of the reasons why non-models just aren't as good at showing fashion to its best effect as models are is because they don't have the practiced photographic subject's knack for guessing how the human body will read in two dimensions from a given angle — so here I am worrying why this beautiful woman doesn't appear to have a neck, instead of thinking about either of those potentially interesting dresses.


This is her best shot and it's pretty fantastic. But is it worth the 17 other hammy, overacted, more or less off-looking lavishly produced editorial pictures full of light and color and signifying nothing? I say no.


Because, seriously, what kind of a culture are we living in that when Anna Wintour tells an Academy Award-nominated actress to tie a trash bag on her head because some art world folks are dossing in Berlin (apparently for such deep and meaningful reasons as the fact that in New York you can't smoke anywhere anymore), the Academy Award-nominated actress automatically does it? I tell you who ties trash bags on their heads because Ms. Wintour says so: Models. And we submit to the vagaries of fashion editor whims good naturedly, because it's an honest living and better than many, and because we certainly aren't inclined or empowered to question a shoot's direction like, say, a respected actress would (or should) be. And we do it because we don't have the comforts that being Hollywood's second-highest paid actress confers. Keira Knightley, you may be beautiful, but more importantly, you have at least some measure of talent; you ought to be sharing that with the world. Don't just model, because done barely adequately it's bullshit, trust me.


Now. Back to sublime: It's Sasha time.


Sasha Pivovarova is a goddess. The lithe Russian elf (who, as a part-time artist, would've been a much better fit for that Berlin story than Knightley) is nevertheless the perfect foil for McQueen's clothes, which can skate close to excessively baroque territory. She wears these dainty little embellished slippers in every shot and it makes for a really nice change from the ubiquitous 4 lb heavy, 7" tall editorial platforms.


I don't dig the waxed-candyfloss hair and I know it must have been painful to achieve. But, I think, thoroughly worth it.


For future reference, Anna Wintour: This is your cover shot.

• The facts speak for themselves: Heidi Klum is designing a capsule collection for Jordache, for which she has been modeling over the past year. Think she'll offer hair extensions to cover nipples as well? [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Kathy Hilton just released her own perfume. It's called "My Secret." We don't really want to think about what Kathy Hilton's secret might smell like. [BellaSugar]
  
• Gloria Steinem would not approve: Georgina Chapman, Marchesa designer and wife of Halston co-owner Harvey Weinstein, was named "Georgina Weinstein" on her front row seat at Halston yesterday. Only, as Chapman herself put it, "I didn't change my name, they did it for me." [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Jimmy Choo's CEO Tamara Mellon thinks that boyfriend Christian Slater should take a more active, or acting, role in fashion. Mellon says Slater would be "perfect" to play Halston in any upcoming biopic on the designer. [WWD, 1st item]

• One last Halston item! Rachel Zoe, who sits on the label's creative advisory team, wasn't at yesterday's debut show. A rep for the label was quick to issue a statement that Zoe has not been fired. Um, the lady doth protest too much? [WWD, 2nd item]
• Does the fashion industry hate the Bush Administration? Laura Bush is having a luncheon next week for all the designers who participated in this year's The Heart Truth's Red Dress Collection but Nicole Miler, Donna Karan, Carmen Marc Valvo, Tracy Reese, and Marchesa designers Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig have all said that they won't be able to attend. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Is anyone else depressed that Naomi Campbell and Andre Leon Talley collaborated to star and style in a SoBe "Thrillicious" commercial? [Fashion Week Daily]
• Burberry faux-fur parkas actually use dog fur. Fun! [UPI]
• Charges have been dropped against the manager of the Abercrombie & Fitch store in Virginia Beach, who was scapegoated by a cop whose delicate sensibilities were offended by A&F ads. [MSNBC]
• The latest item up for sale under Bono's (Product) RED line: The Mulberry Roxanne bag, done in sweatshirt material (red, naturally), for the Gap. [Sassybella]
• Count Fergie in as the latest face of MAC Viva Glam lipstick. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Brittany Murphy on Mr. and Mrs. Max Azria: "They're a very nice family, with great morals, very grounded. Plus, they'll even invite you over for Shabbat dinner. Who would turn that down?" [WWD, 4th item]
• Model Caroline Trentini has declared that she will be donating a percentage of her earnings from New York fashion shows to the Center of Support of Underprivileged Children with Cancer in her native Brazil. [WWD, 5th item]
• Is model/First Lady of France Carla Bruni pregnant with a son? [Vogue UK]
• Just what the world needed: Chocolate Armani Easter eggs. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Avon profits have dropped by 30%. There is no time for beauty in a recession. [Breitbart]