Now that everyone's lost interest in the Bruni-Sarkozy affair rumors, the tabs can get down to the real story: Carla Bruni's skin. And when it comes to her aging, the Times UK asks, "Should we fight it or accept it?"

Amidst swirling rumors of double-infidelities and several days of calculated silence, France's First Lady has finally come out with a statement. An odd statement!

In a cavernous venue where giant white balloons bobbed overhead, the Frenchiest of French designers, Roland Mouret, showed his fall collection.

[Paris, March 2. Image via Getty]

• Eva Longoria's perfume ad is a total Photoshop of Horrors. "I have always been somewhat allergic to all perfumes," admitted the actress. The scent was produced with the Falic Group, the company that recently shuttered Christian Lacroix. Priorities. [WWD]

• Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are engaged, according to a source, who also reports, "They tried to keep it very private and quiet" (and apparently aren't succeeding). Some suspect this rumored engagement may be related to her rumored pregnancy.

• Nine-year-old Rubina Ali has written an autobiography. In Slumgirl Dreaming: Journey to the Stars she says of Nicole Kidman: "I really liked her, but she was very quiet and didn't speak much..."

• John Malkovich has a clothing line. Who knew? His collection, branded Technobohemian, is actually the actor's second foray into fashion, he launched a line called Uncle Kimono in 2002. We hope his Milan show models all wear Malkovich masks. [WWD]

• Stephanie Seymour's divorce from Peter Brant just got ugly: security guards hired by Brant to protect the family home allegedly assaulted the model and pushed her through a screen door. Police have been called to the house twice. [E!]

[Caen Prefecture, June 6. Image via Getty.]

• Posters The Last International Playboy, featuring Lydia Hearst in a state of undress have been banned in major cities. We just hope all this publicity right ahead of the June 12 release won't harm its box-office! [Observer]

• One of Annie Leibovitz's Louis Vuitton ads with astronauts Sally Ride, Buzz Aldrin, and Jim Lovell is out. (Gorby was busy that weekend.) [WWD]
• Karl Lagerfeld: "Ballet is an extraordinary art: this torture of the body to make something so graceful. All this hard work, to look effortless."

• Mango has replaced Penelope Cruz with Scarlett Johansson for its fall campaign. [WWD]
• A gigantic, 16'x24' nude photo of a 26-year-old Carla Bruni reclining in bed is up for auction in Berlin. Just the thing to brighten up any living room. [Daily Mail (NSFW)]

• In a move that smacks of Chanel-Audrey-Jean-Pierre, Dior announced it's making a 6 1/2 minute online perfume ad with Marion Cotillard and Olivier Dahan, who of course directed Cotillard in La Vie En Rose. [WWD]

• Naomi Campbell: "Some people can handle a drink or a line of cocaine, but I've finally come to realize that for me, it's all or nothing — and it has to be nothing." [E! Online]

[Strasbourg, France. April 4. Image via Getty.]

• Packing for tedious summits as a political wife must be that much harder knowing that Michelle Obama will be there, ready to rock some gorgeous outfit at the drop of a discussion paper. [Telegraph]

• Ladies and gentlemen: Mickey Rourke is reportedly dating Courtney Love, and has been for a few weeks. Somehow this makes perfect sense. [Telegraph]

Dita, Mischa, Diane, Milla and Carla all showed for the Fashion Dinner for Aids at Paris' Pavillon d'Armenonville. The result? A lot of chic, and a whole lotta bizarre.

• Paris Hilton on dropping $3,880 in 40 minutes: "I think it's important to help out, you know, the economy out here, everywhere in the world... It's New Year's, I need a New Year's dress." [Breitbart]