• Lady Gaga was seen partying in West Hollywood with a "boy-toy."

They were dancing and drinking and wearing matching studded ensembles. They drank champagne and left early. Get it girl! [E!]

• Steven Tyler has entered rehab to deal with his addiction to pain killers. In a statement, he says: "With the help of my family and team of medical professionals, I am taking responsibility for the management of my pain and am eager to be back on the stage and in the recording studio with my bandmates… I love Aerosmith." Apparently Tyler has suffered injuries over the last decade that left him with "severe chronic pain" and he'll need additional surgeries on his knees and feet. [People]
• Peaches Geldof started — or fueled — a Twitter rumor that Miley Cyrus was dead. Not cool. [Perez]
• A judge has ruled that Britney Spears will remain under the conservatorship of her father for six months to a year. Say what you will, but it seems to be working. [TMZ, Radar Online]
• Cue Twihard squee: The first still from Eclipse, the third Twilight movie, has been released. FLOWERS. SPARKLE VAMP. MOPE. [ONTD via MTV]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Tiger Woods' ladyfriend Rachel Uchitel is not, repeat, not pregnant. You may hear otherwise, especially if you read Star magazine. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jake Gyllenhaal was spotted partying in New York with Matt Dillon, Justin Theroux and Mark Ronson. An axis of hotness. [People]
• Lindsay Lohan was seen drinking in L.A. with Kevin Connolly and Leonardo DiCaprio. [People]
• Recently-released FBI documents show that police thought that terrorists would attack Michael Jackson's trial because of the "worldwide media coverage" it would attract. In addition, the FBI monitored MJ for over a decade. [ABC News via AP]
• Dr. Conrad Murray, who is still being investigated in the death of Michael Jackson, will star in a TV special. A British documentary crew shot footage of him as he returned to work. Of course, the show can't air until the investigation is complete, which could be a couple of years. [TMZ]
• Brittany Murphy was working on multiple film projects before her death, and one director she worked with says: "She knew her material, and she was on her game. She was professional. She was there for me. She was healthy." He adds that her husband and her dog were often on set with her: "The two of them really took care of each other,. He was her teddy bear, and she was just his little princess." [AP]
• Brittany Murphy's role in a romcom called Shrinking Charlotte will have to be recast. [TMZ]
• An expert — forensic pathologist Dr. Cyril Wecht — is convinced that Brittany Murphy's death was the result of an overdose. "One [drug that she took] was involved with Michael Jackson, Ativan. One of them was a drug that was involved with Anna Nicole Smith, Klonopin.'' [Miami Herald]
• Information about which prescription drugs were in Brittany Murphy's house was posted on TMZ, and the Coroner's office is "furious" that the details were leaked. How does TMZ get this stuff? [Mirror]
• Brittany Murphy's funeral will be held tomorrow, Christmas Eve. [Radar Online]
• Why didn't Gabby Sidibe win an African-American Film Critics Association best actress award? A nefarious theory, at the link. [NY Mag]
• It seems that instead of Dr. Watson, people are calling Jude Law "Hotson." Jude says: "Mostly I was only hot because I was wearing those thick tweed suits, massive overcoats and hat and gloves. I was always the one perspiring on set." [ABC News via AP]
• For the final show of Pink's tour, her husband Carey Hart came out on stage and had her dancers strip him down to his underwear. Then Pink straddled him. God I love these two. [Perez]
• Mischa Barton tried to take her dog into Whole Foods and was pissed when she wasn't allowed. She should have shown the security guy her mangled hand, maybe he'd have some sympathy! [Gatecrasher]
• Christina Aguilera was in a minor fender bender last night. [TMZ]
• T.I. is out of prison already? [AP]
• The stalker/fan accused of harassing Ashanti's mother was convicted yesterday and faces 2 years in prison. [ABC News via AP]
• Rihanna went to a comedy club with Ludacris. [E!]
• Heiress vs. heiress: Casey Johnson is jealous of Paris Hilton? [Page Six]
• If you think Sarah Silverman and Demetri Martin are funny, you're in luck: They're both returning to Comedy Central in February. [NY Mag]
• The Karate Kid remake starring Will Smith's son looks okay, except that Jackie Chain's stache is creptastic. Trailer at the link. [NY Mag]
• An animated version of Ricky Gervais's podcast: In the works. [NY Mag]
• The Edge says that U2 wrote a song for the soundtrack of the Tobey Maguire/Natalie Portman/Jake Gyllenhaal movie Brothers after being asked by director Jim Sheridan — and after seeing the film: "We didn't have anything (ready) but were just going to work on some music. We had a couple of interesting beginnings, but then we saw a rough cut of the film, and that gave us the inspiration." [USA Today]
• Ugh, Dance Your Ass Off got renewed. Season 2 begins next year; there were auditions in NYC yesterday. [ET]
• Kristin Scott Thomas has dropped out of an upcoming Paris production of A Little Night Music because she injured her foot. [Variety]
• True Blood scoop: Lafayette is getting a boyfriend. [EW]
• The LAPD held rapper Kid Cudi at gunpoint yesterday in a case of mistaken identity. Driving while black? [Reuters]
• Megan Mullally will return to Broadway in a Terrence McNally's play Lips Together, Teeth Apart. I miss Karen! [LA Times]
• Boy George wanted to be on Celebrity Big Brother, but a British court is saying that he can't, since he's still on probation and could make thousands from the appearance. [AP]
• Randy and Evi Quaid were in court yesterday and pleaded not guilty to skipping out on a $10,000 hotel bill. [AP]
• Does the $42,000 the Balloon Boy parents have been fined seem like enough? [Daily Mail]
• The Vatican hearts The Simpsons. [AP]
• The recession has hit Oscar campaigns, which are more low-key than usual. [Reuters]
• And yet: For the first time, U.S. and Candadian ticket sales have crossed the $10 billion mark. [Reuters]
• Paging Nurse Jackie fans: Mo-Mo the gay guy is off the show. [Gatecrasher]
• Justin Long gave out toys to homeless children, who look unimpressed by him in these photos. [ONTD]
• "I've been active all my life. And I haven't smoked in a long time. The reason and I can get through this show is that I eat right. I don't eat red meat. I eat chicken and fish. And salad. And steamed vegetables, occasionally roasted. I don't eat desserts. And I don't drink, well, maybe a glass of wine now and then. This sounds like a laughable way to live. But it's me. It's a good, healthy life. I'm not good at doing nothing… I don't know what retirement means." — Estelle Parsons, 82, who has just landed a role in Tony Award-winning play August: Osage County. [Reuters]
• "I can't say that I noticed anything that led me to believe, 'Oh my God, this person is messed up.' But one hears rumblings. It's a small town, and you hear from other people on other crews, but that's all rumors and stuff. [When she did 8 Mile] I was feeling — maybe not just then at that particular time, but over time — that she was maybe being pressured to be a certain body type and a certain kind of actress as far as playing the sexy, blonde, thin girl… And that she was buying into what she was supposed to be, rather than just being a wonderful, innocent young girl." — Clueless director Amy Heckerling, who says she is "shocked and angry" about Brittany Murphy's death and doesn't understand why no one was "watching out with what was going on with her." [ET]
• "It's too hard to live on a planet where you're a monster for not being moved by Susan Boyle's performance." — Michael Cera, to Maxim. [Page Six]
• "I hate Christmas. When I used to drink, it was a good excuse to get drunk for two weeks. Now I just hate it. [In 2003[ I was in a coma for a while, so I missed Christmas. Thank God." — Ozzy Osbourne. [Gatecrasher via Contact Music]
• "I have read the first two episodes and I can tell you that I will be singing and dancing. I can't tell you what I'm singing because it's top-secret. It's a very cold song." — Jane Lynch, aka your fave misanthrope, Sue Sylvester, on the next chunk of episodes of Glee. [ONTD via SheWired]

[LAX, December 21. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• Here's the thing about Courtney Love losing custody of her daughter: Frances Bean Cobain wants to live with her grandmother.

Courtney Love's lawyer says that's what Courtney losing legal control of her daughter is all about. He says: "Courtney's been clean for years and is perfectly fine. This is simply about Frances preferring to live with her grandmother at this time. Frances is 17 and a strong-willed child, and this is a decision she made on her own." Wendy O'Connor, Courtney's Kurt's mother and Frances's grandmother, lives in Olympia, Washington, and last year, Frances told Bazaar: "She's probably the person I respect most out of anybody in the world." Do you remember when Courtney went on a Twitter rant in September? Frances Bean tweeted: "Someone adopt me please?" [People]

• Courtney Love's lawyer: "All I can tell you as Courtney's friend is that she loves her daughter more then anything in the world. Courtney will no doubt do what is best for Frances and will surely take her teenage daughter's desire and feelings into consideration with respect to the legal guardian issue." [Radar Online]
• Nicole Kidman's daughter Sunday Rose knows baby sign language. "She's picked it right up, Nicole says. As for her 17-year-old daughter, Bella: "She's incredibly talented… She expresses herself through drawing." [Showbiz 411]
• Yesterday's rant must have gotten him in a heap of trouble: Chris Brown has deleted his Twitter account. [Perez]
• Michael Lohan was arrested this weekend, after calling his ex-girlfriend — who has a restraining order against him. Whoops. [TMZ, Newser]
• Bethenny Frankel stripped naked for giant PETA billboard. "It's so tasteful and beautifully done," she claims. "I am especially pleased because it doesn't look like there's been any airbrushing, and I was already pregnant when I shot it." No airbrushing? Pardon us while we LOL. [Page Six]
• BREAKING: After giving birth yesterday, Kourtney Kardashian wanted a tuna sandwich. [TMZ]
• Elton John and David Furnish still want to adopt a kid, even though their attempt to adopt a 17-month old Ukrainian child who lives in an orphanage was denied. Furnish says: "We were upset not to be allowed to adopt but we'll fight and work with the Ukrainian government to change the law so that HIV positive children can be adopted. We'll be like uncles. They can visit us on holidays." [The Sun]
• So… Toby Keith was at the Nobel Peace Prize party, and Will Smith performed "Rapper's Delight." When the word "yellow" was uttered in the line "to the black, to the white, the red, and the brown, the purple and yellow," Keith pulled his eye into a slant. Asian people love that, right? [TMZ]
• A-Rod says: "I'm definitely single." Guess he won't be on Kate Hudson's arm at any Nine premieres. Still, a source says: "They've definitely broken up. There's been some drama before about his roving eye. But this isn't the first time they've split up and got back together." [Page Six]
• A-Rod was seen in Miami over the weekend in the company of a leggy blonde. A "snitch" says: "Alex has a wandering eye, and Kate is a hopeless romantic. It's not exactly the perfect match." [Gatecrasher]
• Wait, what? Tiger Woods' wife Elin Nordegren is having a "secret meeting" with Victoria Beckham? Apparently friends have urged Elin to talk to Posh, whose own marriage was threatened by claims David Beckham had an affair with his assistant, Rebecca Loos. [The Sun]
• Several women involved with Tiger Woods claim that he wired money to them — from $5000-$10,000 — on a monthly basis. "The money comes via a wire transfer," said one woman. "There's no contract about it, there's no discussion about what it's for, but it's implied that it's in exchange for keeping quiet about his affair." And! Apparently Elin has taken his cell phone away. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jaimee Grubbs, who had a relationship with Tiger Woods, has been calling and texting an ex-boyfriend, boasting about her notoriety. A sample: "Hey u... It's been rough... I'm very well known now and everything I do is being blasted across the Internet… I'm on every news channel and in every magazine as Tiger Woods mistress." [Radar Online]
• Items like this one, about how Tiger Woods got out of sticky situations in the past, make you wonder about all the kinds of things celebrities get away with. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Garner's stalker was arrested Monday, and sorry to be judgy, but he's totally got a super creepy mug shot. [Radar Online]
• Alabaster-skinned Kelly Osbourne is the face of St. Tropez self-tanning lotions? Ah: Fake-baking is just one of the many things she learned on Dancing With The Stars! [Page Six]
• Chace Crawford was seen drinking red wine alone and texting. Stars! Just like us. [Page Six]
• Beyoncé hearts interactive theater. [Page Six]
• Jimmy Fallon's Michael Jackson impression is allegedly impressive. [Page Six]
• Ron Howard and daughter Bryce Dallas Howard would like to make a movie together; Bryce blames her dad for not making it happen: "He knows for a fact that I pester him every single day to put me in a movie. I really want to work with him!" [Gatecrasher]
• Daniel Day Lewis thinks Jeff Bridges should win the Oscar for Crazy Heart. "Everyone loves him. And he's so good." [Showbiz 411]
• Mel Gibson "rarely" has time for his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, or their six-week-old daughter, Lucia. According to a source. "Mel can go days without even stopping by Oksana's home and checking in on Lucia - much less feeding her, putting her down for a nap or changing a diaper," spills a source. "Mel tells Oksana he isn't raising Lucia any differently than he did his other passel of kids, and that (his estranged wife, Robyn Gibson) really did the raising." [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• "A movie company that hired Samuel L. Jackson to star in a big-budget film is pissed off they weer forced to settle for Laurence Fishburne instead, this according to a new lawsuit." [TMZ]
• Roman Polanski's The Ghost, starring Pierce Brosnan and Ewan McGregor, will be released in the U.S. as The Ghost Writer in early 2010. [NY Daily News]
• Coming to a silver screen near you: In The Heights — based on the Broadway musical — directed by Kenny Ortega. Meanwhile, Corbin Bleu will do the show on Broadway. [Page Six]
• Alan Arkin's character in The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee: Loosely based on Arthur Miller. [Page Six]
• In a world of losers, SpongeBob SquarePants is a winner. [NY Daily News]
• The New York Film Critics Circle chose The Hurt Locker as best picture. Will director Kathryn Bigelow get an Oscar nod? [NY Post]
• A cheat sheet for the movies which will "most likely" be Oscar nominees at the link. [NY Post]
• BREAKING: Whatshisname doesn't like boobs. [The Sun]
• "Dear Santa, I want a boy for Christmas... wanna hook a sista up?! Oh, and not just any boy… one that holds the door open for you, and writes hand written letters, and spends time with the (parents).. ya hurrd?" — Teen star Demi Lovato, via Twitter. [MSNBC]
• "I thought a divorce was the best thing for both of them at the time, as they were a destructive influence on each other. But I was sad Blake had lost the love of his life. I speak to Amy on the phone. She said to me recently: 'You have an amazing son who is gorgeous and beautiful and sensitive. But other people don't see it.' I'm convinced Blake and Amy will remarry early next year. I don't know when, where or how it will happen. I'd like to be at the wedding this time round but I wouldn't be surprised if they went away and got hitched without anyone knowing about it. Whatever they do, I think it's going to be a happy ending this time." — Georgette Civil, mother of Blake Fielder-Civil, who says the drama between her son and Amy Winehouse almost drove her to suicide: "All this has taken a big toll on my own life… I reached my lowest ebb over the summer and even thought about ending it all." [Daily Express]
• "When I met Carey, I was an abused puppy in the corner, ready to bite anyone who put their hand out." — Pink says she has softened since meeting her husband. She also claims: "I've always said I like Britney. I swear to God, I've stuck up for Britney since the beginning." [Gatecrasher via Women's Health]

• Lindsay Lohan has returned from India!

While there, she visited the Sanlaap women's and children's shelter outside Calcutta. She spent about 3 hours with people there, and watched dance performances by the children. With her was a four-person camera crew from the BBC, and, at one point, Lindsay wore a bindi. Of course. [People]

• If you have $300, you can buy a "Marc Jacob" bag from LohanHouse.com, where Lindsay and her family are selling gently used clothes, shoes, hats, bags, and "collectables." [Page Six, Lohan House]
• Chris Brown is pissed that stores are not carrying his new CD, Graffiti. He wrote on his Twitter: "im tired of this shit. major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the fuck do i gotta do... WTF... yeah i said it and i aint retracting shit. im not biting my tongue about shit else... the industry can kiss my ass." He said of a Walmart in Connecticut: "They didn't even have my album in the back… not on shelves, saw for myself. the manager told me that when there are new releases its mandatory to put em on the shelves.. BUT NO SIGN OF GRAFFITI." [MSNBC Scoop, Twitter, Page Six, Gatecrasher]
• Lily Allen may have smoked a cigarette during a concert last week; and if the Liverpool City Council can prove she was smoking, she and the venue could be fined. The council is asking "witnesse" to rat Lily out. [BBC News]
• Jude Law and Sienna Miller: "In love" and moving in together in the new year. As you may recall, their romance began on the set of Alfie; then Jude cheated on her with his children's nanny. Forgive but not forget? [The Sun]
• Playgirl has turned down alleged nude photos of Tiger Woods — apparently taken by Tiger himself. The magazine's spokesperson Daniel Nardicio says: "They were impossible to 100 percent verify, hence the unwillingness to go there." [People]
• Tiger Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, is not in Sweden, despite some reports. She is in the guest house, which, while large, is not another country. [TMZ]
• Consulting firm Accenture is the first corporate sponsor to officially drop Tiger Woods. [NY Post]
• Tiger Woods' wife will reportedly dump him after Christmas and is talking to a divorce lawyer. As for Tiger, he is seeing a therapist. Allegedly. [Radar Online]
• This report claims that Elin Nordegren wants a trial separation. but that Tiger Woods wants to take a cruise on his yacht with her and convince her to stay with him and have another baby. (?1?!) [NY Post]
• Here, Cori Rist, who hooked up with Tiger Woods, is called a "spectacular escort." [Rush & Molloy]
• According to this report: Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel are both in Palm Beach, Florida. But he's on his yacht; she's with her family. [TMZ]
• "Tiger Woods Cheated As Dad Died. Star Bedded Jamie Jungers As Father Lay Dying In Hospital." [Radar Online]
• Gerald Posner reports that Tiger Woods had a "separate team handle his trysts," and that Rachel Uchitel could be getting $5 million to stay quiet. [The Daily Beast]
• A source says Uma Thurman's ex-fiancé was too controlling: "It seemed like he always wanted to run the show… He wanted to bring in his own chef and his own security. He'd talk about redesigning her house in the city and knocking down buildings at her place upstate." [Rush & Molloy]
• Russell Brand was seen spotted shopping for diamonds at Cartier, fueling speculation he's going to ask Katy Perry to marry him. [Daily Mail]
• Is Prince William a "shadow King"? [NY Daily News]
• Jay-Z is well-loved by his Rocawear employees, whose Christmas gift to him was a video spoof of his hit single, "Empire State of Mind." [Page Six]
• Behold: Lady Gaga and Cyndi Lauper in the 2010 MAC Viva Glam ad campaign, shot by Ellen von Unwerth. [The Life Files]
• Susan Boyle says he life hasn't changed that much: "I have everything I had before – it's just a little more interesting now." She hasn't really splurged on too much: She bought "a red couch and some cushions." And, she says: "To anyone who has a dream I say follow that dream. You are never too old. It is never too late. And dreams can become a reality." [People]
• What do we think of Carey Hart's Day-of-the-Dead-style tattoo of Pink? [The Life Files]
• Guy Ritchie is thinking of opening a branch of his London pub, the Punch Bowl, in New York. [Daily Express]
• Sad face: Grizz from 30 Rock is suffering from severe hypertension and has to be on a dialysis machine three times a week. He's on the waiting list for a kidney transplant, but need to lose 75 pounds before he's considered a viable candidate. And the wait is 5 years. He talks about all this on Dr. Oz's show on Tuesday. [NY Daily News]
• The Los Angeles Film Critics Association and the Boston Society of Film Critics agree: Mo'Nique's performance in Precious and Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker were some of the best moments in film this year. [People]
• Lots of Kerry Washington's favorite places in New York are food-related. [NY Post]
• Candy Spelling, a panelist on E!'s new series, Bank of Hollywood — produced by Ryan Seacrest — says: "I don't have to work. I'm not putting up my own money! We all contributed our salaries, but I wasn't going to pay [the contestants] to be on TV… I love giving of my time and money — I'm very charitable and sit on three nonprofit boards and two city boards as commissioner — but… then I would just be donating money and leaving it up to the contestants as to how it's spent. We all felt a strong responsibility about how they would spend the money." Yeah, I don't know either, but it sounds snotty. [NY Post]
• Sarah Ferguson, ex-Duchess Of York, says she's going to start a historical novel, starring an aristocratic redhead and set in the eighteenth century, "sort of like Pride and Prejudice meets 24. It's actually me putting myself in the eighteenth century… I can just imagine how it would be, and I have such fun!" [New York Magazine]
• Groan: Spencer Pratt now owns a music company, King Spencer Music. Be afraid. [TMZ]
• Entourage's Kevin Connolly says he thinks Rex Lee didn't really mean it when he said he was made fun of on the set because of his ethnicity and sexuality. Pardon? [TMZ]
• At the link, an obituary for Natasha Richardson by Ralph Fiennes. [Guardian]
• Add Kid Rock and Dave Grohl to the list of musicians suing bars for playing unlicensed music. [TMZ]
• LOL: 21-year-old Ekaterina Ivanova is calling ex-boyfriend, 65-year-old Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood, an "evil goblin." [Telegraph]
• CSI Miami's Jonathan Togo was arrested Friday for allegedly getting violent in a fight with his girlfriend; he was booked for felony domestic violence. [TMZ]
• A year after being rejected on TV, Bachelor contestant Melissa Rycroft got married. But not to a guy from TV. [Us Magazine]
• "Garth Brooks & Trisha Yearwood Celebrate Anniversary at McDonald's." [People]
• The Princess And The Frog was number one at the box office with a modest $25 million. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Bentley Meeker is a celebrity lighting guru and you are not. [Page Six]
• "I don't want to talk about him, except that I like him… I think everyone needs an adventure buddy." — Holly Madison on Benji Madden. [People]
• "Whenever anybody say they are going to give me some kind of award, I'm always a little stupefied by the notion. The first thing I say is 'why?' I just go to work like anyone else, except my job happens to be a little stranger." — Johnny Depp, when receiving a career achievement award at the Bahamas International Film Festival. [AP]
• "It makes certain cities impossible to live in. Like Sydney, it makes it impossible for us to live there… We certainly don't get that treatment in Tennessee. But it goes with the territory. It's just, we have to be careful, just to maintain some sort of semblance of a normal life for our child." — Nicole Kidman says attention from photographers is the reason she won't live in Sydney. [News.com.au]
• "I don't have a personal vendetta against Nicole Kidman… These are Machiavellian games that are being played and they are just not right. If she doesn't want to be photographed she should change her profession and become a butcher." — Paparazzo Jamie Fawcett, whom Nicole Kidman has requested a restraining order against and also took to court for placing a listening bug outside her home and following her in his car. [News.com.au]
• "Breaking up the band was a mistake because I think it broke trust with the audience. You had an audience that was very invested in that idea - whether they were invested in the people or the idea or the songs, I don't know. Like a relationship that you break off from and then try to pick back up, it's never quite the same. It doesn't mean it can't be as good, but it has to be different. That beautiful original feeling got lost in the interim of being away. If we had said, 'We just went away for seven years,' it would have been similar, but somehow breaking up, there's a violence to it." — Billy Corgan, on the Smashing Pumpkins. [WENN via Spinner]
• "If I didn't act, I'd be a nutcase. Some people have to do it. They have a lot of emotion they have to get out." — Rachel Weisz, who's in The Lovely Bones. [News.com.au]
• "My body is falling apart. The only way that I could do it is if I played a character who gets shot in the left leg and the right shoulder in the opening scene." — Kenny Rogers says he is too "decrepit" to be in Christmas In Canaan, the movie based on the book he wrote. [Daily Express]
• "Sometimes when I watch the show back I think we've gone too far because I see the pre-story beforehand, I can then see the audition from their perspective and there are times where I think I could have handled that better or I was in a bad mood and I was too rude. At the same time... no-one is sort of dragged kicking and screaming onto the audition set." — Simon Cowell. [BBC News]
• "A journalist went up to my  husband once and said 'did you know that dating anyone more than three years younger than you is considered pedophilia?' [Peter shot back] 'Really? My wife is seven years younger.'" — Maggie Gyllenhaal. [Gatecrasher]
• "Angry African-American women, you know, thought that it would be the image that people would associate with them. Virginiaca is definitely art imitating life, but I understand where they're coming from, and I don't have to project that onto mainstream America. What's funny is funny. This place is well known for getting angry letters — Lorne keeps 50 of them outside his office. It keeps you grounded in the fact that in late-night comedy, you're going to have to burn somebody." — Kenan Thompson. [New York Magazine]
• "I say 'Be Italian' many times in the song, but it was important to me that every time I say it, it have a different meaning, because there are so many different things about being Italian. There's love of life and food and sex and drink. There's love of dancing, love of singing. So it was putting all that into it." — Fergie, on her song in Nine. [NY Post]
• "The negative stuff is crazy and the positive stuff is crazy… I actually see all the discussion and controversy and, you know, 'Is it Smurfs and Dances With Wolves in space?' and all this crap, as good. It fuels interest. All those people that go online and repeatedly dismiss the movie day after day, I know they're going to be there watching it." — James Cameron on Avatar. [NY Post]
• "I think every little girl should be able to feel themselves the princess. I think every little girl is worthy of having a princely young man, and vice versa. It's really thrilling that Zahara will never have a moment where she didn't see herself in that light. She's Ethiopian. She comes from kings and queens. She should certainly know herself as a princess." — The Princess And The Frog's Anika Noni Rose, responding to Angelina Jolie's claim that she's ecstatic that daughter Zahara has a role model. [Ok!]
• "I'm working out again. I'm going to make the sequel to 300. My pecs will be glistening. I'll have a codpiece. I'm going to blow your mind." — Alec Baldwin. [Rush & Molloy]

• Tiger Woods reportedly still hasn't brought in a public relations crisis team to help him deal with the public fallout and media blitz surrounding his "indiscretions," even though it was recommended to him when the scandal broke. [RadarOnline]

• "They've been completely ineffective in handling this scandal from a pr standpoint," says a source, "It's just gotten worse and worse." [RadarOnline]
• The scandal is starting to take its toll on Tiger's sponsors, as well: Gillette spokesman Mike Norton says the company is pulling back on all ads featuring Woods in order to "support him as he takes a break from his professional career and that's why we're supporting him by limiting his role in our marketing programs." [BostonGlobe]
• Nike also supports Woods, stating that the company will stand by him through his troubles: "Tiger has been part of Nike for more than a decade. He is the best golfer in the world and one of the greatest athletes of his era. We look forward to his return to golf. He and his family have Nike's full support." [USWeekly]
• AT&T, meanwhile, says they "support Tiger's decision and our thoughts will be with him and his family," and "are presently evaluating our ongoing relationship with him." [NYDN]
• And News of the World is reporting that Elin Nordegren is set to dump Tiger after Christmas: "In the short-term they'll act like any other loving couple," says a source, "Elin won't break it all up right away. But she does need some time alone to herself and a legal separation will happen very quickly." [NewsoftheWorld]
• "If I wanted to tell people what I do with my vagina, I'd have made a sex video a long time ago. Largely, people don't know the whole story about anything. But still they need to put a name on it so that they can label it and put it on the side and not have to dedicate time to figuring it out. It's laziness."-Michelle Rodriguez on rumors about her sexuality. [TimesOnline]
• Hugh Grant says he was drunk when he spent $2 million on an Andy Warhol painting of Elizabeth Taylor in 2001; he later sold the painting in 2007 for $13 million. "I slightly regret selling it now," he says, "even though it made me rich." [DailyMail]
• Bonnie Wright says her older brother had read the Harry Potter books and thought she'd reminded him of Ginny Weasley, the character she ended up playing in the Potter films. "I was only nine at the time and didn't know who any of the characters were" Wright says, "but I read the first one and was hooked. When my mum came home from work, I said, "Please, please can you get me an audition for Harry Potter?" [DailyMail]
• "I always got on very well with John. He took the piss out of me, which made me laugh. He was a character, sarcastic, full of quips. When the Beatles had their first record out, "Love Me Do", John played it to me and I came out with a classic: 'You should sell this to the Everly Brothers.' Shows you what I knew! He never let me forget that. Whenever I saw him he'd say 'We're still writing songs for the Everly Brothers' and piss himself laughing."- Jimmy Tarbuck, who went to school with John Lennon [Guardian]
• Holly Madison has been spotted recently with Good Charlotte's Benji Madden, though she claims he isn't her boyfriend, but her "adventure buddy." [People]
• Jonathan Togo of CSI:Miami was arrested and charged with felony domestic violence after an argument with his girlfriend. [TMZ]
• Kim and Khloe Kardashian buy underwear, news at eleven. [PageSix]
• Carey Hart is apparently not afraid of the old tattoo-breakup curse, as he had his wife, Pink's face tattooed on his leg in a ""day of the dead style." [People]
• "People do discover new music, but it's very difficult. Modern music to most people sounds strange and abstract and painful to the ear, but nonetheless I think it's worth extolling. You need to discover something new. That's what human beings need: newness, novelty."-Sting [People]
• And, perhaps in a bid to qualify Sting's claims, Spencer Pratt has registered his own music company, "King Spencer Music." [TMZ]
• Meanwhile, Sting's son, Jake Sumner has been tapped to shoot a short film for DKNY, starring Christina Ricci. [PageSix]
• Mariah Carey is set to embark on her first tour in three years: the "Angel's Advocate" tour will kick off on New Year's Eve in NYC and end in Las Vegas in February. [Reuters]
• Summit Entertainment, the studio that distributed Twilight, also plans to release Roman Polanski's The Ghost Writer in 2010. [Reuters]
• Jennifer Hudson says she's a "holiday fanatic" who loves to celebrate Christmas: "It hurts me so when I see people like, 'Whatever, Christmas is just another day.' I'm that person who's going to go over there and get you into the holiday spirit. And that's how I've always been." [People]
• Halle Berry says she has been volunteering at the Jenesse Center, an LA-area battered women's shelter, for years, as "I saw my mother battered, and could not do anything to stop it. My father was tyrannical, lashing out at her for no reason. I felt the effects that had on our family." [PageSix]
• "To anyone who has a dream I say follow that dream. You are never too old. It is never too late. And dreams can become a reality."-Susan Boyle [People]

• Lady Gaga, Gay Activist! She "was the highest-wattage celebrity to attend both the Human Rights Campaign dinner Saturday night and the National Equality March on Sunday." Reporter Dan Zak writes:

"Nearby rally-goers screeched her name. She had marched with the crowds from her hotel after shrugging off security concerns, and had just finished a short speech to an enraptured throng of tens of thousands on the West Lawn. Glittery signs reading 'Gay for Gaga' and 'Lady Gaga {heart} Equality, U Should 2' poked up from the rainbowed masses." "I will never turn my back on my friends," said Lady Gaga, before disappearing from the rally. "Today is not a one-off performance."She also said: "In the music industry there's still a tremendous amount of accommodation of homophobia," she said. "So I'm taking a stand… I'm not going to play one of my songs tonight because tonight is not about me. It's about you." She sang John Lennon's "Imagine," but changed some of the lyrics. [WaPo]

• Miley Cyrus and her sister Brandi ate $70 worth of meat and mac 'n cheese at the Outback Steakhouse in Burbank last week. Miley paid with a $100 bill… and kept the change. Her spokesperson explains: She didn't know she was supposed to tip unless she was eating inside." Pardon? When has that ever been the case? [Rush & Molloy]
• Christina Hendricks married Geoffrey Arend — he was hilarious in 500 Days Of Summer! — at Il Buco restaurant in New York on Sunday. Congrats! [People]
• Jon Gosselin says that he wasn't the only one who took cash out of the joint account; Jon filed papers claiming Kate withdrew over $60,000 from their joint account between July and September 2009. But a source says Kate's transactions were legal; Jon didn't have permission. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin believes that Kate has control of more than one million dollars and that if she doesn't have a job, it's not his fault. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jon Gosselin will light a menorah this year, partly because of gf Hailey Glassman. "This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I'm now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great… They gave her a free tummy tuck, worth $20 grand." I'm sure I'm not alone here when I say: Oy. [Rush & Molloy]
• Dina Lohan says that Lindsay's brother Michael is on academic scholarship at Ithaca (college)… and "He's also is doing a movie!" This paper reacts with the headline, "Oh no! Not another one!" [The Sun]
• Katie Holmes wants to send Suri to Catholic School, and noted Scientologist Tom Cruise is okay with it. Suri is already enrolled in Catholic Charities Yawkey Centre For Early Education And Learning in Boston, where Tom is filming the movie Wichita. [Daily Mail]
• Angelina Jolie is in talks to replace Charlize Theron in the thriller The Tourist. [JustJared]
• Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy: So on. [People]
• Nick Cannon is married to Mariah Carey. He's also a stand-up comic, a rapper, an actor, a D.J., a screenwriter and a television host and the chairman Nickelodeon's TeenNick division. [NY Times]
• At the BET Hip-Hop awards on Saturday, T.I. won, though he is in prison; Jay-Z was honored as MVP of the year; the late DJ AM won "DJ of the Year." Kanye West did not attend. The show airs October 27. [AP]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Kourtney Kardashian is expecting a baby boy. [NY Daily News]
• Mad Men's John Slattery doesn't want a garbage trucks garage in his New York neighborhood. [AP]
• "Fergie is Condoleezza Rice - if Condi knew how to execute a booty shake…" claims this profile of the singer, in which she talks about ecstasy; crystal meth ("it ruins you"); dating Mexican gang members and being a child star. The reporter also writes: "There is some speculation that Fergie is older than she lets on (seems unlikely; she grew up on TV), as her unquestionably sexy features can look a touch - how can I put this? - ravaged." [Times Of London]
• Kelly Bensimon was doing man-on-the-street interviews for Gotham magazine yesterday… and her efforts were taped for Real Housewives. [NY Post]
• Debi Mazar helped Maksim Chmerkovskiy get over ex-fiancée Karina Smirnoff with home cooked meals. Heartache doesn't mean stomachache. [People]
• Remember when Michael Jackson played a character on The Simpsons? The folks of The Simpsons were freaked out by him. [NY Post]
• Speaking of Michael Jackson, a snippet of his song "This Is It" has hit the interwebs; listen at the link. [TMZ]
• By the by the illuminated white glove Michael Jackson wore on his 1984 Victory tour sold for almost $70, 000 at auction. [The Sun]
• Katherine Jackson will not inherit 40% of her son's estate. [Carey Hart are HOT in this photo shoot for his tattoo shop's clothing line. [Daily Mail]
• Amy Winehouse "looked frail and unsteady" singing backup for her goddaughter on the TV show Strictly Come Dancing. [Mirror]
• Couples Retreat raked in $35 million at the box office; this column suggests the film "offers a lesson in moviegoing: add one beautiful location to a comedy that is not very funny, add to it actors who aren't really very famous, and you can make a movie that opens to reviews that aren't very good, yet still make cash hand over fist." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Saturday Night Live's Bill Hader has a new baby and says of fatherhood: "I think it's going to be awesome." [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
• In a poll of 100 New Yorkers, 26 women and 27 men think David Letterman is a "hypocrite for making jokes about the affairs of Bill Clinton and other politicians." 22 women and 31 men have worked at a place where the boss was having an affair with an underling. [NY Mag]
• Singer Stephen Gately, of Irish group Boyzone died Saturday while vacationing on the Spanish island of Majorca. [CNN]
• Stephen Gately may have chocked on his own vomit after a "drinking session." [Daily Mail]
• "Matt Lucas will not return to his stage role following the death of his ex-partner, it has been announced." [The Star]
• Mickey Rourke talks about using the word "faggot." Sorta. [TMZ]
• Dannii Minogue was judging X Factor when this guy Danyl Johnson sang "And I'm Telling You" from Dreamgirls. Danni insinuated that he was gay by telling him he didn't need to change the gender references in the song. Simon Cowell was pissed about that. [Daily Mail]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger is on Twitter now, posting pictures of the happy face in his morning oatmeal and so on. [NY Post]
• Sigourney Weaver is trying to promote a Gorilla Rehabilitation and Conservation Education, (GRACE) in the Congo, which will rescue and rehabilitate orphaned gorillas, saying: "These little gorillas just steal your heart. They're very sensitive creatures. So it's no surprise that this is a very demanding and ambitious project, the GRACE Center, but we need it. We have to have it." [AP]
• "Pierce Brosnan almost turned down the chance to star in his upcoming flick, The Greatest, about two parents struggling to move on after their son dies in a car accident — because his own son Sean survived a similar crash in 2000. "When I first got the script, I looked it over and put it under my bed for a week," he says. "I eventually decided to do it because I liked it, but it was hard to go to those deeper places in my heart." [Gatecrasher]
• Director Mike Nichols has been selected to receive the American Film Institute's 38th AFI Life Achievement Award. Nichols won an Oscar for directing The Graduate; was nominated for a best picture award as a producer for The Remains of the Day and his credits include Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Catch-22, Carnal Knowledge, Silkwood, Working Girl, Primary Colors, Angels in America, Closer and Charlie Wilson's War. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Horn Lake, Mississippi's Circle G Ranch — also known as the Elvis Ranch, is up for sale, if you have $6.5 million. [UPI]
• High-brow PBS soap opera Upstairs Downstairs is being remade. [NY Post]
• Blind item! "What Oscar-winning actress and her Oscar-winning husband are said to be close to splitting? She's telling friends, 'We've grown apart.'" [Rush & Molloy]
• "I get why chicks dig him. He's extremely kind, incredibly intelligent, thoughtful, creative and respectful. I don't discuss my love life because it's always misinterpreted or put under the microscope. It's especially annoying when you're dating someone else who's well-known, which is why I normally would never go out with a famous guy. Let's put it this way… I'd be flattered if someone hit on me tonight, but I really can't say if I'm available or not." — Emmy Rossum on Adam Duritz. She also says: "I used to be an artsy, quiet, kind of chubby kid — which no one believes. But now I'm really comfortable with my body and my sexuality. I can be naked with the lights on." [People]00
• "My hair has never been that great. I had a Jheri curl at one point in my life. I had to go to rehab and confess, 'I'm Chris, I have a curl.' But, I don't think men are into their hair that much. Guys are concentrating on other things. When I was younger, I had a complex, and probably still do, about just not being buff and big. I think that's what guys are into. There are some right here in Hollywood, men on television right now, with fake pecs and stuff." — Chris Rock made Good Hair, but he doesn't think about his own that much. [Parade]
• "I think if she were playing something that was going to be really hard for her psychologically or damaging, I'd be more concerned, but she had a really good time with the sex thing, She plays a woman who, as far as I can tell, is really in charge of her life and is not a victim. So it sounded to me like it would be a blast. I've already seen little bits and pieces of some of the nudity and she looks beautiful. If you have it, why not?" — Susan Sarandon, on her daughter playing a student by day and a stripper by night in Californication. [Gatecrasher]
• "I've been corresponding with Anya Camilleri [the director] and we've been looking at historical paintings where the concept 'cougar' was depicted to try and see where it came from. I think 'cougar' is a way to make it appear as women are looking at their men as prey, and gaining something from it. Like when men are enhancing their own virility by going out with younger women. Why is there not a term for older men with younger women? I don't think Mrs. Robinson was a cougar — I think she was a woman having a breakdown, and it was played wonderfully." — Sharon Stone, who will play a woman who hires a much-younger gigolo in upcoming flick Satisfaction. [Gatecrasher]
• "I had dairy a few weeks ago by accident and I knew because the next day I was all phlegmy. And I was farting and it was gross. And then I knew. It was dairy. Plus it makes you fat. Instantly. [There] was a time in my life where I was not interested in health at all; health was a dirty word. And when I look at pictures now, I see that I looked tired and puffy and stressed." — Alicia Silverstone, whom this paper calls "the most non-annoying vegan on the planet." [NY Post]
• "I guess everyone has their wild side, and mine was halfway between being really shy and kind of a goofy spazoid. I never bit anyone, like Max, but I slapped a lot of butts. I don't know if you've seen kids do that-butt-slapping. Like, slapping the butts of my grandparents and babysitters. When I wasn't shy, I overcompensated." — Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, who did the soundtrack for Where the Wild Things Are. [NY Mag]
• "In an interview, Lars said he thought he reminded me of my father… and now, of course, I could make that link. He's very sincere with his questions and fears. He's a real artist in that way. He never censors himself... It was a weird relationship. The moments when it was just the two of us were pretty awkward… [Still] I had the feeling that he was inside me. He understood every blink, every detail. I felt as if I were portraying him, even though we were dealing with female sexuality. The anxiety and fear in my character was pretty much him." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on Antichrist director Lars von Trier, whom this article notes has been called "Misanthrope. Misogynist. Pornographer. Xenophobe. Enfant terrible. Child." [BlackBook]
• "President Obama seems very authentic… I wonder if there's a white man inside of him." — Lars von Trier. [BlackBook]

• Lindsay Lohan is on the cover of Elle UK — the shoot where jewelry went missing! — and here's what Editor-in-Chief Lorraine Candy writes in her Editor's letter:

"Lindsay Lohan wrote me a note during this month's cover shoot. It read, 'Let's do it again some time.' I've put it on my office wall because, in all honesty, I don't know if I could. This was the most unpredictable, and confusing cover shoot in my magazine career. First, Lindsay was about to arrive. Then she was in Paris. She was almost on set, then she disappeared into her hotel room. She was ready for her interview, then she had to have a fake tan! But we got there. And what we got was amazing. This shoot is truly original, just like Ms Lohan herself. In the end, she did her job brilliantly and, I hope you'll agree, so did we." Here's video from behind-the-scenes at the shoot [Elle TV]

• Chris Brown will be sentenced on Wednesday and appear on Larry King Live afterward: He'll apologize for assaulting Rihanna on TV. [Radar Online]
• Was Chris Brown forcibly removed from an upscale bowling alley in NYC last week for "partying too much"? [Fox 411]
• Take note: Tom Cruise is David and Victoria Beckham's "relationship guru." [Daily Express]
• "David Beckham is to star alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger in TV ads promoting California to tourists." [The Sun]
• Ryan O'Neal says of Farrah Fawcett's funeral: "I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me. I said to her, 'You have a drink on you? You have a car?' She replied, 'Daddy, it's me - Tatum!' I was just trying to be funny with a strange Swedish woman, and it's my daughter. It's so sick." Tatum O'Neal says: "That's our relationship in a nutshell. You make of it what you will." [The Sun]
• Vanity Fair produced two different covers for its September issue: Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. These deaths bumped a scheduled Mad Men cover, so now the actors from the show will be inside. Boo. [WWD]
• This paper spoke with the grandmother of the Samantha Burke, woman that Jude Law got pregnant. Delores Burke, 80, says: "What I want to know is how a girl gets pregnant in this day and age? Yes, it takes two people but he is the older and wiser man and he should have made sure nothing like this happened. I'm mad at him, we all are. He has other children. Didn't he think about how his actions would affect them?" [Daily Mail]
• "Samantha, her mom, and her family can affirm that Jude has been responsive and supportive throughout the relationship and pregnancy, and know that he will remain so as a father once Baby Sophia is born." [People]
• Video of Samantha Burke talking to the media at the link. TMZ]
• Apparently Samantha barely had any boyfriends, hence the headline: Prude Until Jude. [The Sun]
• A source says: "Jude sleeps with so many different women. A lot of names were going around as to who the mother of his baby could be." [Page Six]
• Jude's ex, Sadie Frost, is the oldest of 10 half brothers and sisters and mother of four kids from two marriages, so she's "understanding" and wants her kids with Jude to meet the new child. [Mirror]
• Jude Law allegedly told Sadie Frost that he only slept with Samantha Burke once, after a drunken party. [Daily Mail]
• Jessica Biel sings! She's playing Sarah Brown in Guys and Dolls at the Hollywood Bowl, and says she would love to to go Broadway: "That is one of my eight-year-old dreams. That's like my little eight-year-old inside me is cartwheeling around, thinking about that idea." [AP]
• Mariah Carey's new CD will have ads. Actually, the CD booklet will be a 34-page mini magazine in co-production with Elle… with ads from Elizabeth Arden, Angel Champagne, Carmen Steffens, Le Métier de Beauté and the Bahamas Board of Tourism. [BrandWeek]
• Paris Hilton's estranged manager Jason Moore is hopping a book about how he molded this blond piece of clay into a global icon." [Rush & Molloy]
• Dr. Conrad Murray was getting $150,000 a month to be Michael Jackson's personal physician. But many of his previous patients were low-income. "There are many, many patients that thank God this man was here for them," says one. One patient said Murray performed angioplasty on him three years ago without ever being guaranteed he would be paid. [CNN]
• If you have $30 million or so, you can big on the Andy Warhol portrait of Michael Jackson, going up for auction soon. [BBC News]
• Jon & Kate Plus 8 will not become Jon & Kate Plus Dates. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Leslie Mann says her husband Judd Apatow gives her anecdotes to tell while she's promoting new film Funny People: "He has trained me to be ultra-prepared, to have five stories ready to go. He gives what I say a beginning, a middle, and an end. Whereas I'd just barf it out," she says. "It's really lazy of me to depend on him to make me sound sensible, but so what? I'm lazy." [The New Yorker]
• Milla Jovovich: Getting hitched for the third time; filmmaker Paul W.S. Anderson is her fiancé. [Daily Mail]
• Tilda Swinton and 40 other people are pulling a film screen through the Scottish Highlands "on an eight and a half day odyssey through the mountains, camping each night in a different village." [Guardian]
• In this interview, Diane Kruger says she is a "country girl" and "definitely not sophisticated." The reporter writes: "What utter hogwash! Kruger spent most of her childhood summers on a scholarship to the Royal Ballet School in London, then five years as a top-drawer international model, based in Paris, before becoming a film actress." [Times of London]
• Liev Schreiber says kids make you youthful: "I'm older physically, but spiritually much younger." [People]
• Kate Middleton, aka Prince William's girlfriend, has had a series of meetings with Sir Richard Branson, in an effort to "sharpen her business acumen." [Daily Mail]
• Editors at British magazine Pride are apologizing for manipulating comments made by Nia Long, which made it seem like she was ranting about Beyoncé's acting skills. [Daily Express]
• Liza Minnelli will not be on Ugly Betty, but she will be on Drop Dead Diva. [AP]
• Whoops! Emile Hirsch and an Emile Hirsch impostor both attended the same party. [Page Six]
• Eric Bana is hot and talking about his attraction to cars. [Daily Mail]
• Sienna Miller on GI Joe: "If these films are well done I can find them quite entertaining. But…I prefer indie, arty films really. It's not the kind of film I'd normally go and see." [Guardian]
• In addition, Sienna's GI Joe wig cost cost £4,800. [Telegraph]
• Carey Hart says he and Pink are going to have a baby… Eventually. "She still has another 18 months of touring, and I'm pretty heavy in competing again in all my businesses, so it's definitely going to happen, but just not anytime soon." [E!]
• Q: A character with special needs or a prostitute-those are usually the two paths to Oscar. Had you considered that? Hugh Dancy: "I genuinely didn't. But now that you've said that, if it doesn't work out for me with Adam, I'll play a hooker next. There was the worry that if we didn't pull this off, I would look doubly exposed. Like, 'Really? You thought that was going to work? Better luck next time! There's this great prostitute movie coming out-maybe you should give that a shot.'" [BlackBook]
• Kevin Costner and his band were set to perform in Canada when suddenly the stage collapsed. One person died and at least 60 people were injured, including 2 members of Costner's band. [TMZ]
• Funny interview with Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter, at the link. [BlackBook]
• Sheree from The Real Housewives Of Atlanta seems psyched that she was the number one trending topic on Twitter last week after her "Who's gonna check me, boo?" argument. She says: "You don't want to be on the wrong side of Sheree. You really don't. I tell them all the time, 'Don't let the cute face fool you!'" [E!]
• He's done Ali G, Borat and Brüno.What will Sacha Baron Cohen do next? How about a Eurovision music mockumentary? [The Sun]
• Kathleen Turner spills about living the last 17 years with the pain of rheumatoid arthritis, taking steroids which made her puffy and bloated and then turning to vodka to kill the pain — and becoming a drunk. [Daily Mail]
• Omarosa will be on TV One in a new series called Life After. [WaPo]
• "In Cold Souls, opening Friday in limited release, the actor Paul Giamatti plays an actor named…Paul Giamatti." [LA Times]
  
• Billy Joel is "distraught" over his breakup with Katie Lee Joel and "obsessed" with getting her back. [Page Six]
• People you may or may not have hear of had a kid: "Survivor & Amazing Race's Rob and Amber Become Parents." [People]
• Hollywood is out of ideas, part MCDXLIV: Steven Spielberg will direct a remake of Harvey, about a man and his friendship with an invisible six-foot tall rabbit. The original flick was released in 1950 and starred James Stewart. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Will Ferrell has left the film project Neighborhood Watch. [Variety]
• Dustin "Screech"Diamond: purposely excluded from the Saved By The Bell reunion by his castmates. [NY Daily News]
• Whatshername will celebrate her divorce with a televised "party extravaganza." [The Sun]
• Whatshername is on "yet another" holiday, and her cagefighter boyfriend is with her. [Daily Mail]
• Whatshisname has been crying himself to sleep and wishes he were stronger. [Mirror]
• "They did try to submit in the comedy category in the '90s and suffered from doing it in an era of juggernaut comedies like Friends and Seinfeld and Cheers and whatnot. And The Simpsons was as well written, if not more so, as any of those — but suffered from the prejudice against the medium. So I think perhaps in reparation for that, they should give them an honorary achievement Emmy." — Seth MacFarlane. [LA Times]
• "At 21 I married Luc Besson and we bought a beautiful 13-room chateau in Normandy. I was totally happy, drinking wine, walking in the forests and riding horses in the beautiful farmland. It didn't work because he was so much older. I was young and staying up late, playing the guitar and hanging out with my friends. He was the early riser who went to sleep early. He expected me to be the perfect wife, which was natural - the hostess entertaining his friends. But I was like, 'Aaaargh! I don't even like those people.' It's too bad it didn't work because he was an incredible person and I was an incredible girl, but the timing wasn't right." — Milla Jovovich. [Daily Mail]
• "I think Hillary Clinton is one of the most amazing women of this time. I don't know her and I don't know — should I call her? I'm sure she's busy. But I know they know this movie's being made. And I just want to call and say: Do you have any thoughts or feelings I should be aware of? Of course I can't make that call. I feel like saying, 'I'm going to play you in this movie and I have a lot of respect for you and is there anything you want me to say?'" — Hope Davis. [LA Times]
• "Whatever I say, I get myself into trouble." — Sienna Miller. [Guardian]
• "When I'm not working, I feel like a Ferrari in the garage. You have all this potential and you just want to break out." — Glenn Close. [LA Times]
• "I would talk my wacky language to him and he'd interpret it to the drummer. I'd say, 'I want it to sound like Zeus woke up from a nap and he's pissed and there's an opening in the clouds and he starts handing out lightning bolts,' which is crazy, but that's how I hear the rhythm. And Omar, he whispers some things to the drummer, and that's exactly what it sounds like. It really encouraged the songwriter within me." — Juliette Lewis, on recording her band's new album, produced by The Mars Volta's Omar Rodriguez-Lopez. [Reuters]
• "I have a theory that people feel as attractive as they did as a child. I was a really hideous child. People who were attractive as children have a sense of entitlement. I have a sense of awkwardness." — Kate Beckinsale. [Times of London]
• "Troy launched me but it launched me as the face that launched a thousand ships and not as an actress. I want roles where I have to expose my soul." — Diane Kruger. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I have never come across a female character that is written with Blanche's level of complexity, in that she's vulnerable, she's pathetic, she's a monster, she's nasty, she's tender, she's kind – she's so many things that you never know quite what she's going to do next. I've never come across so rich a character before." — Rachel Weisz on being in A Streetcar Named Desire in London. [Telegraph]
• "My life has gotten more surreal in stair steps. from the blog to the book to the movie to 'Oh my God, Nora Ephron's directing it! Oh my God, Meryl Streep's in it!' So right now I'm at this sort of surreal-is-the-new-normal phase. I'm cool with it." — Julie Powell, whose blog became the movie Julie & Julia. [NY Daily News]
• "I'm so not the relationship go-to girl. But I'm much clearer about what a relationship is, which is why I will never marry again. Gabriel and I have a great partnership and a lovely daughter. But I once was stupid enough to say, in a previous relationship, 'I'm going to be with this person for ever,' and realized, as I grew, that I don't know if for ever is possible. Gabriel and I don't look at our relationship in terms of for ever, we look at it as right here today. And today means being the best people we can be, the best parents we can be. It's wonderful, but neither one of us feels the need to attach ourselves to each other for life – because it may not be that." — Halle Berry. [Daily Mail]
• "I hate alcoholics and AA. If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze" — Roseanne Barr to Heeb. [Page Six]

• Last night Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson called a locksmith because Sam lost her house keys. While he was working Lindsay found an open window crawled in. The locksmith asked for his $39 fee, but Lindsay wouldn't pay.

• Lindsay gave him $20, then she and Sam locked themselves in the house and refused to give him the other $19. [TMZ]
• Authorities have revised the price of the jewels stolen from a Lindsay Lohan photo shoot for British Elle. They were worth $38,500, not $400,000 as was originally estimated. [People]
• Sam Lutfi is suing Britney Spears and her family because he says Lynne Spears' claims in her book that he ground up pills into Brit's food are untrue. He says that as a result he's "constantly in fear for my life" and is "harassed and cajoled by the public." [TMZ]
• The Jackson family is fighting over where to bury Michael Jackson. Jermaine Jackson wants Michael buried at Neverland, but local laws prohibit a burial on private property. He could be cremated and his ashes spread at Neverland, but Katherine Jackson is against it. "Michael left Neverland for good, never to return," says a source. "He felt violated by law enforcement after his molestation trial. He felt this place he had built had been tainted. Katherine continues to be her son's protector even after his death." [Radar Online]
• Police sources say the Jackson family gave them a list of doctors they think may have been misprescribing drugs to Michael Jackson and dermatologist/possible sperm donor Arnold Klein's name is on the list. [TMZ]
• After Michael Jackson's memorial service, his sisters La Toya, Janet, and Rebbie went across the street to the Nokia Theater to address the overflow crowd and thank fans for their support. La Toya said: "As you well know, Michael loved his fans more than anyone else in the world. He has always said that his family is first and his fans are second... I know he's watching every last one of you." Janet said: "Thank you for all of your love, all of your support. Michael will live in our hearts forever." You can watch the video here: [TMZ]
• Diana Ross says she didn't attend Michael Jackson's memorial because, "I have decided to pause and be silent. This feels right for me. Michael was a personal love of mine, a treasured part of my world, part of the fabric of my life in a way that I can't seem to find words to express." [UPI]
• John Mayer says he was surprised that the Jackson family invited him to the memorial since he never met Michael Jackson. He said he decided to make orgasm faces in lieu of singing because he doesn't have a strong vocal range. "The decision to not sing is just out of knowing what's best for me," said Mayer. "I think it's quite a mine field to go into trying to in any way replicate vocally what Michael Jackson has done. And in a way, it was sort of respectfully leaving an absence, you know, sort of the presence of his absence." [Us]
• Mariah Carey apologized for her performance at the memorial Tweeting, "Trying to sing today was basically impossible for me. I could barely keep myself from crying. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to pull it together and really do it right, but I was literally choked up when I saw him there in front of me." [The Daily Express]
• According to Nielsen, 31 million people watched Michael Jackson's memorial service on TV. For comparison, 35.1 million watched Ronald Reagan's memorial service and 33.3 million watched Princess Diana's, but no one was watching on the internet back then. [Time]
• Debbie Rowe (like everyone else) cried when she saw Paris Jackson speak at the memorial. A friend who comforted Rowe said, "It was heartbreaking. However strange her relationship with Jacko, she is still Paris' mum. To watch your child so upset on TV in front of millions of people is more than any mum could stand." [The Sun]
• Also not in attendance: Quincy Jones. He said, "I just can't take it anymore, I've lost so many friends over the past years. Ray Charles, Marlon Brando, Michelangelo Antonioni. I just don't want to be standing there looking at some casket." [Variety]
• Paul McCartney says, "Some time ago, the media came up with the idea that Michael Jackson was going to leave his share in the Beatles songs to me in his will which was completely made up and something I didn't believe for a second. Now, the report is that I am devastated to find that he didn't leave the songs to me. This is completely untrue. I had not thought for one minute that the original report was true and, therefore, the report that I'm devastated is also totally false, so don't believe everything you read folks!" [The Mirror]
• Michael Jackson took 10,000 pills in the last six months of his life... according to The National Enquirer. The mag claims he was taking 50 pills a day "for a variety of real and imagined problems." [The National Enquirer]
• Michael Jackson's wax statue at Madame Tussauds in New York City has been on loan to the museum's D.C. branch, but it will be shipped back on Friday. [N.Y. Times]
• Cameron Diaz is in talks to play the female lead in The Green Hornet opposite Seth Rogen. [Hollywood Insider]
• The judge in Kate Walsh's divorce ruled that Alex Young can make ABC president Stephen McPherson sit for a deposition and answer questions about her financial prospects at the network. [TMZ]
• Lorenzo Lamas left his fourth wife, Shauna Sands, when he found out she was sleeping with his son A.J. Lamas, who was 18 at the time, according to a family friend. The family is currently filming a reality show for E! [Star]
• Pink on husband Carey Hart: "Everything is good again now and we're having a blast. Carey and I spend a lot of time wrestling in our hotel room. We have naked dance parties too. It's so much fun. We have a lot of fun together. He's so yummy." [The Sun]
• Check out a 30 second preview of Beyonce's video for "Sweet Dreams" at the link. It's yet another variation on the "two backup dancers and leotards" theme but this time they're wearing shorts. [The Life Files]
• Ryan Gosling and his friend Zach Shields will release their debut album in October under the name Dead Man's Bones. [People]
• Lita Ford is coming out with a new album called Wicked Wonderland in September. [Rolling Stone]
• HBO will air Robin Williams' comedy special Weapons of Self-Destruction, which was filmed on his recent tour. [N.Y Times]
• Bruno isn't as bad as it looks, according to Australians. It's opening this weekend was the third biggest comedy opening in the country's history, behind Meet the Fockers and Sex and the City. [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
• Vanity Fair has devised a cunning plan to lure in more 14-year-old readers: Robert Pattinson will be on an upcoming cover. The issue will probably come out in the fall to coincide with the release of New Moon. [E!]
• Jodie Sweetin says things are looking up since she filed for separation from her husband Cody Herpin and was accused of substance abuse relapse. "[Cody and I] have managed to work things out a little bit better," she said. "We share custody right now and it's going really well." [People]
• Justine Bateman has resigned her position on SAG's national board, party because of a new contract approved by other members last month. "SAG members ... have now voted up a contract that will cause 50% of the working members to leave the business," she wrote in her resignation letter. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Jessica Biel says she doesn't understand why some stars go out without underwear. "I don't really get that, it's not my thing - I'm a knicker person," she said. "I actually know a handful of people who aren't knicker people, but I don't get it!" Question: Did Jess use the term "knicker" or was her statement translated into British by the newspaper? [The Mirror]
• "I'll be 34 in October. I can't keep getting away with [nudity]. There was so much of it in The Reader because the story required it, but people have seen enough of my bum and my boobs. I have to put them back." — Kate Winslet [People]
• "I've never cared for the idea of a career path, or where a film might "take me". My love is for acting not money, so I only take on roles that I find challenging, in stories I find interesting. I was brought up the Mexican way, where actors are paid very little and every part you take is an act of faith. If people respect that, then great." — Gael Garcia Bernal [The Telegraph]
• Meryl Streep put on weight to play Julia Child. "I gained 15 pounds, I'm still trying to lose it," said Streep. "It was worth it." [People]
• Meryl Streep says of playing Julia Child, who was happily married to Paul Child for nearly 50 years, "When you're playing romantic characters, a great part of my attention has to be that I look really attractive. Obviously you can't play a romantic character if she's not really pretty. What's liberating about these characters is that there's this huge throbbing love between two people who don't look like our normal package of lovers. It made it more real and intimate because somehow those concerns were thrown away. If you've been married for a long time you love without looking. I don't assess how my husband looks every single day and think, Is he cute enough or whatever? And I sure hope he doesn't do it to me!" [Ladies' Home Journal]

[Melbourne, Australia. May 30. Image via Getty.]

[Los Angeles, May 17. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Christian Bale looks dirty and hot on the cover of the new EW! Inside, he talks about that infamous rant that was so popular it got turned into a dance remix:

''I don't care to go into details because, you know what, I don't believe in making excuses,'' he says. ''It doesn't matter. It was unacceptable. I went too far. And I learned from it.'' He continues: "I was surprised at myself hearing it back. These things happen, and you don't realize how long you're going in the heat of the moment. I would just say: inexcusable, my fault, yes, I did it, no excuses." As for apologizing on the radio, he did so because: "I was being told how it had gone like wildfire, and I was worried that it could completely overwhelm the movie itself. There's so much hard work that's gone into this. We had 77 days of smooth running and four minutes of me just going way too far - and that shouldn't characterize the making of the movie. My concern was that people would unfairly judge the movie based on my bad behavior." More at the link! [EW]

• Uh-oh: Gerard Butler has been charged with misdemeanor battery after a "run-in" with a paparazzo on October 7. He's not required to appear in court. [USA Today]
• Natalie Portman is still seeing Sean Penn, and just bought a gothic mansion in L.A. What does it mean? [Page Six]
• The uncle and grandmother of the little girl Madonna was trying to adopt are seeking legal action against the man who claims he is the child's father. [Mirror]
• Terry Gilliam is hoping Heath Ledger will will a second posthumous Oscar for his film, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. [NY Mag]
• Christian Bale says his daughter will not be an actress: "Amateur is absolutely fine, but no way professionally. I've seen the way that unfortunately some kids are unhappy in those situations. There's no way I'd put my daughter through that." [Daily Mail]
• Ben Stiller, his wife Christine Taylor and Ricky Gervais toured the White House yesterday. President Obama was in New Mexico. [Reuters]
• Oprah now has 1 million followers on Twitter. Are you one of them? [Business Insider]
• It seems that Britney's dad punched Sam Lutfi in the chest at some point last year, but he was "provoked" and trying to "protect" Brit. [TMZ]
• Of course TMZ has screen shots from the surveillance video of the attempted break-in at Lindsay Lohan's house. If you want to see a Dodge Magnum station wagon and two guys doing something shady, go ahead and click. [TMZ]
• "Lindsay Lohan finally lands another acting gig - but can she behave on set?" [NY Daily News]
• Will Pink and Carey Hart have another wedding, even though they never really got divorced? "I love a party," Pink tells Ellen. [People]
• Magician Criss Angel is an alleged cat thief. [Page Six]
• Kelly Osbourne has written a book! "It's more of a self-help book for young women, the 13 major things that will happen to you before you turn 21 and what I did - most of them not right - and my advice and what I would have done differently." [Mirror]
• This was in Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Ashlee Simpson is pregnant with her second child. [PopCrunch]
• Guess who is getting a role in a West End musical, thanks to Andrew Lloyd Webber? Ms. Susan Boyle. [Telegraph]
• Why did Shanna Moakler resign from the Miss California USA Organization? "The turning point for me, I guess, was when I was watching the Today show and [Carrie Prejean] was sitting there continuing to lie. And it's obvious to everybody that the lying is still going on. I just couldn't stand behind her." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: Coming in 2011? Bridget Jones The Musical. [Daily Mail]
• Jane Krakowski wants Barack Obama to be on 30 Rock: "We've had Steve Martin. We've had Oprah. We've had Jerry Seinfeld. We've had all these great musical greats. Let's just go for the big guns now." [E!]
• Speaking of 30 Rock, Judah Friedlander and Alec Baldwin are both working on interesting side projects. [NY Times]
• Last week's "Motherlover" video Andy Samberg made with Justin Timberlake wasn't finished until 3 a.m. Saturday — hours before it would air. Samberg hopes to make a video with host Will Ferrell this week! [USA Today]
• What's this? More Scrubs? With Zach Braff and Sarah Chalke signing on? [E!]
• Ew: "Desperate Jordan has sent hubby Peter Andre a string of begging text messages pleading: 'If you let me come back I'll be like a wild animal in bed again.'" [The Sun]
• Eighteen years after winning an Oscar in Silence Of The Lambs, Sir Anthony Hopkins will play Hannibal Lecter again. Will Cate Blanchett play the FBI agent? [Daily Express]
• The Jonas Brothers have postponed shows in Mexico because of the swine flu. [Reuters]
• This article has interesting details about Steven Soderbergh's new film, The Girlfriend Experience; some scenes were improvised: "For instance, a scene where Mr. Santos's character interviews for a job at a gym was done in a single take. Mr. Soderbergh says he simply set up two cameras and instructed Mr. Santos and the gym's actual manager to do a mock interview. 'I just said, 'try and get a job from this guy. See if you can convince him to give you a job.' The exchange lasted about eight minutes, and was edited down to a one minute scene in the final version of the film. 'My experience has been, the more takes you do, the worse it gets,' says Mr. Soderbergh." [WSJ]
• California health regulators have fined the hospital where employees snooped in the medical records of Nadya Suleman, to the tune of $250,000. [LA Times]
• Erin Lucas, who is Whitney Port's BFF on The City, is talking shit about Kristin Cavallari, new star of The Hills. Lauren is such a genuine girl. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and she was real with the whole thing. I don't think Kristin is on that level. Wasn't Kristin like all gung-ho about being an actress? I mean, I read interviews last week, for that matter, where she's quoted making fun of the show and trashing it and saying she would never be a part of it. So to go from trashing a show, to go on and replace the girl you fucked over in high school…I don't see it going anywhere pretty." And who are you again? [E!]
• Lyrics from Peaches (not Geldof — electro Peaches!): "I drink a whiskey neat/You lick my crow's feet/Coming up to see me like I was Mae West/less like Tina/but I'm simply the best/Call me Robyn Cradel/baby baby be my guest." In this interview, she says: "I'm going to make aging cool." [NY Daily News]
• Holly Madison will replace Kelly Monaco in the "sultry" Las Vegas revue, Peepshow, which Mel B. also appears in. Although there are topless dancers in the show, neither Mel nor Holly will be barechested. [People]
• "Why George Harrison begged one young fan to stop throwing Jelly Babies at The Beatles." [Daily Mail]
• Farrah Fawcett loves Van Morrison, so the musician filmed his recent shows so he could give copies to Fawcett to watch while she's home in bed, fighting cancer. [E!]
• "Farrah's Story is as much about becoming aware of our own mortality as it is seeing a cultural icon fight the disease." [MSNBC]
• Even though they have been together for nearly 20 years, Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett never got married, but he says he would do it now: "She's still a little bit hesitant. I'm working though, I'm working." [Mirror]
• Ryan O'Neal says of Farrah: "I kind of wish that she would go to sleep, just go to sleep. It's not my right, but I just don't see how she could be happy." [NY Daily News]
• Candy Spelling has known Farrah Fawcett for over 30 years — Aaron Spelling produced Charlie's Angels — and Candy says of Farrah Fawcett's cancer: "When I first heard, I don't know if it was a year or two years ago when we first heard, and I contacted her. I hadn't talked to her in a while. She said, 'I'm going to be alright, Candy. Everything is going to be all right.'" [CNN]
• Anna Friel of Pushing Daisies will play Holly Golightly in a new stage adaptation of Breakfast At Tiffany's in London. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which troubled young starlet was caught doing lines with her new bestie at a hot NYC club?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I probably haven't worn my heart on my sleeve like this since the second Cranberries album." — Dolores O'Riordan. [USA Today]
• "I wasn't intending to do a popular television series. I was intending to do film and theatre. I got waylaid a little. Since that's over, I've got back to doing what I originally intended to do." — Gillian Anderson, whom you may know as Dana Scully, but who is starring in A Doll's House on the stage in London. [Daily Express]
• "I really believe on a daily basis that there's a line of communication between me and my dogs which we haven't defined yet. I really talk to them. And I also talk to my guinea pig, Mr James, every single morning. I sit and watch him on that wheel every day, trying to answer the question that is: 'Do they do it for exercise? Or do they think they're going to reach a destination?' Because that's a terrible metaphor for all of us. Because that's all life is perhaps? Nobody is gonna tell you the truth like I do." — Dustin Hoffman. [Independent]
• "I think Dan Brown is a terribly bad writer, but he has cliffhangers after every chapter which makes you continue reading. It's like eating peanuts at a bar. You don't like them, but you keep on eating them anyway." — Stellan Skarsgard, who only took a park in Angels & Demons because the script was different from the book. [Newser via AP]
• "To me, 10 o'clock is like the new 11:30. I hear more and more people, even young people, say 'I can't stay up past 11. I car pool, I gotta get up at 6.'" — Jay Leno. [CNN]
• "He always had the most ridiculous fashion. When it came to hairstyles he would have blow-dried hair like the Bay City rollers, then an awful perm. When he was 14 he tried to grow a moustache." — Simon Cowell's brother Nicholas. [The Sun]
• "Her boyfriend Tony Romo is one of my favourite quarterbacks. So I felt kinda conflicted doing the Jessica thing. Jessica got fat. I mean, not really fat, but she certainly got fat for, well, Jessica Simpson. I've always wanted people to be able to look at each video and go 'oh remember what was going on at that moment.' You know what I mean? 'Oh, that's when Jessica Simpson got fat, oh OK.' And even if she gets thin again, that's fine. Just for that moment in time, she was fat." — Eminem. [Mirror]
• "People were telling me, 'Christian, you're too good for Terminator.' And I'm thinking, I'm too good? I'm not a snob. I really fucking enjoy watching a good action movie. Who do you think I am?!'' — Christian Bale. [EW]
• "Being a mom makes me feel whole and like I understand the meaning of life." — Rebecca Romijn, to In Style. [People]

• Adnan Ghalib, Britney Spears ex, is being sued because he allegedly hit a process server trying to deliver a restraining order from Brit. He's already facing three felony charges related to the incident. [TMZ]

• Reports that Nadya Suleman has a reality show in the works aren't exactly true. Suleman said: "I'm going to be doing a show, but it's not a reality show. What I'm doing with this TV show is basically creating documentaries about the lives of my children. It's going to be an ongoing thing, and it will follow them from now until they are 18. It's being done by Eyeworks; they're in the UK. It will air in the UK and then we'll see if the US is interested." No UK network has signed on to air the show. [The Live Feed]
• Supposedly, Lindsay Lohan's family is trying to convince her to go to rehab. She was overheard yelling "Mom, stop it!" "Enough!" "Quit it!" in response to her mother's pestering. Ok]
• Sources confirm that Heidi Klum is pregnant with baby #4. [People]
• Nathan Mathers, Eminem's little brother, was arrested for a second DUI when he failed to move over for an ambulance. [TMZ]
• Madonna and Jesus Luz: back on. [The Sun]
• Pink and Carey Hart are planning to renew their wedding vows. "They want to have a ceremony at their house in Malibu on the beach at sunset. It will take place in early summer and will be very simple and small, with just their family and a few close friends," says a source. "They broke up because of their busy careers, but they never stopped loving each other. [The Sun]
• Mel Gibson is so old-school Catholic that he formed his own church because he doesn't believe mass should be said in English. However, Roger McCaffrey, publisher of Catholic books, explains that his divorce won't mean he's excommunicated. "He'll still be able to technically be a practicing Catholic, even receive communion. In other words, he wouldn't be considered, simply by having a civil divorce or a separation, to be living in grave sin," said McCaffrey. [People]
• Josh Hartnett says his health is fine after being taken to the emergency room last month. "I just had a little stomach bug," said Hartnett. "It's been reoccurring because I have been spending a lot of time in Third World countries, and I occasionally drank the water when I shouldn't have – and sometimes it catches up with you." [People]
• Audrina Patridge says her new reality show will be about "my life after The Hills, my journey. It's going to be a little spicier, edgier, older." [People]
• PETA spokeswoman Pamela Anderson is going to attend the opening of a New York strip club/steakhouse. PETA says it's OK because "steakhouses nowadays have some of the best salad bars and veggie options around, we're sure she'll find plenty to eat should she attend." [L.A. Times Blog]
• Kevin Smith will perform at Carnegie Hall in June. "This country must truly be in a desperate financial crisis," Smith said. "How else to explain Carnegie Hall allowing someone with so little talent onto their hallowed stage." [UPI]
• Kathy Griffin's assistant, Jessica, has quit and won't appear in the new season of her reality show. "Jessica had just had enough of Kathy," said an insider. "She put up with her for several years. She couldn't take it anymore." [Perez Hilton]
• Ben Affleck said he's ready for the day his daughters start dating: "I'm already planning on it – practicing the rocking-chair-and-rifle routine." [People]
• Sad news: The husband of Katie Holmes' older sister has died of heart failure at 48. [UPI]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's personal trainer, Tracy Anderson, has sold a workout book, called The 30-Day Method Boot Camp for six figures. It will be published in 2010. [The New York Observer]
• Gwyneth Paltrow writes about being happy when something bad happened to a former "frenemy" and people seem to think she's referring to Winona Ryder. Wait, isn't Gwyneth the one rumored to have fucked Winona over? [ONTD]
• Redmond O'Neal, son of Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal, has been in jail for more than a week and no one has visited him. [Radar Online]
• Ryan Seacrest was spotted in a romantic Paris vacation with L.A. bartender Jasmine Waltz. A source says they've been together for a few months. [People]
• Kelly Killoren Bensimon was sort of nice when asked if she hates fellow Real Housewives star Bethenny Frankel. "Why would I? Hate's a really strong word," said Bensimon. "I respect her as a dynamic go-getter. I really have a lot of respect for her. It's a lot to be single in New York, working - it's a lot. And like, on your own? Listen, it's not easy." Bethenny said, "I've got the microphone, so I can clock her if she tries anything ... Also, I wore extra-high heels tonight, so I'm up here," she said, gesturing with her hand, "and she's down here." [New York Magazine]
• Alex Meraz says his New Moon castmate Robert Pattinson smells like roses. "The first time I met him, I was like, 'Dude, you smell fantastic!'" Alex continued,"I don't know where people get this stuff from." [E!]
• After a months long legal battle Flipping Out's Jeff Lewis and his neighbor, Ugly Betty's Ashley Jensen, have reached an agreement in their dispute over the property line between their homes. "I'm happy Ms. Jensen has returned to Earth, removed the restraining order, and insisted we settle our boundary dispute for my original offer of $30,000," Lewis said in a statement. "Clearly, she has milked this publicity opportunity for all it's worth." [E!]
• Dove will be running "documercials" during Gossip Girl featuring Sophomore's Chrissy Miller as a downtown fashion designer, and Nylon's style director Dani Stahl. [Jossip]
• First-time homeowner Zac Efron says: "My sprinkler broke the other day, and I spent all day trying to fix it. I just made things worse and now my whole back yard is flooded. And keeping the house clean. It's like a bigger version of the disaster formerly known as my room." [People]
• One Tree Hill star Antwon Tanner was arrested today in connection with a Social Security card scam. He's accused of "knowingly and intentionally" transferring Social Security cards last year "with intent to defraud." [NY Post]
• Billy Ray Cyrus responded to Jamie Foxx's comments that Miley Cyrus should "make a sex tape" and "do some heroin." He said: "It was hurtful, there wasn't nothing funny about it, and quite frankly, I think if I said those things about his daughter he might not find it so comedic." [E!]
• Seth Rogen says: "It's definitely not true what women say about just wanting a man with a sense of humour. What women mean is they want a guy with a sense of humour who is really handsome. If a girl had a choice between Brad Pitt or me, she'd pick Brad Pitt. And I'm a lot funnier than he is!" [The Telegraph]

• Eminem reportedly asked Amy Winehouse to do a Stan-like duet on his upcoming album, Relapse, but Amy declined, as she "didn't feel it was the right thing to do at the present time." [The Sun]

• "Eminem has followed Amy's career closely. They have both had drug addiction issues and he empathises with her and hoped to feature her on Relapse," says a source, "His idea was to make a track as magical as Stan. But unfortunately Amy declined. He understands that recently she hasn't been in a state to focus on music because of her tumultuous private life but he hopes they will get together on a future project." I wonder what Amy thought of Em's new video? [TheSun]
• Kathy Griffin says she's backing off her Lindsay Lohan jokes, now that the starlet is having a rough time: "It feels like kicking her when she's down," Griffin says, "Believe it or not, I might kind of take her out for the time being. That's a little hard to find the comedy in." [USWeekly]
• Ann Kelly, the woman accused of having an affair with Bruce Springsteen, denies having anything to do with The Boss. "My client absolutely denies having an affair with Bruce Springsteen," her attorney says, "These are baseless allegations of a jealous man. And that's all there is to it." [People]
• "You can be bi but not gay. Well, you can be gay and funny, like Ellen [DeGeneres] and Rosie [O'Donnell]. It's really hard to be straight-up gay and serious. We're still not over that."- Michelle Rodriguez
• High School Musical star Ashley Tisdale has split with her boyfriend. [USWeekly]
• Does Samantha Ronsonalready have a new girlfriend? [ONTD]
• ''I wrapped a movie called `Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character. With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie.''-Woody Harrelson [NYTimes]
• Aww, the rumors are true: Carey Hart and Pink were seen arm and arm, all smiles. [TheSun]
• Former Mighty Morphin Power Rangers star Skylar Deleon has been sentenced to death for murdering an Arizona couple in 2004. (The description of the murder is upsetting, so be warned.) [USWeekly]
• Blind Item: "This actress is known for her comedy chops, primarily playing the ditzy blonde role (even though she's decidedly brunette). We were sad to hear from a former employee of hers that she is in fact a raving witch in real life. She once threw an omelet (yes, the kind with eggs) at her maid, who was terrified and spoke very little English. Yikes. It's not Sarah Silverman." [Blind Gossip]
• "Is Lindsay Lohan tweeting about being cheated on?????????? ahahahaha NO I don't feel bad! I can't stop laughing! omg ahahahahahahahahah"- Shanna Moakler's Twitter. [ONTD]
• "I actually think going to university will make me a better actress. The experience of living like that, working to deadlines, living with other students. It's all the things I want. There are actresses who don't know about things like doing their own laundry and getting a bus. I'm not going to be like that."- Emma Watson
• Ugh: the Nadya Suleman reality show might still happen. But will anybody watch it? [EW]
• Nicole Kidman says she's planning on dressing up as the Easter Bunny this weekend for her daughter, Sunday Rose, who apparently enjoyed the bright lights of Vegas: "Sunday Rose loved Vegas," Kidman says, "There were a lot of lights there and it was very sparkly, so she loved looking at them and when we were driving along she was gazing out of the window. Vegas is obviously a good spot for a baby." My 3 year old nephew loves dinosaurs! Jurassic Park is obviously a good spot for a baby. [ShowbizSpy]
• Believe it or not, there's going to be another sequel to The Fast and the Furious. What should this one be called? Suggestions welcome in the comments. [E!]

• Since everyone apparently loves a catfight, this report claims that Lindsay Lohan calls Sam Ronson's "team" "jealous people with bad fucking energy." [E!]

• "Lindsay's Grandmother Is Heartbroken." Um, headdesk. Michael Lohan's mom says she hasn't seen LL in over a year and "I think she needs her family in her life." Really, we're interviewing grandmas now? Really? [People]
• This report claims that Lindsay is "bereft" over her split with Sam and "the saddest girl in the world." Adding to the drama is the fact that LL is not working or booking any jobs. [Page Six]
• Madonna has been making "tearful" phone calls to Guy Ritchie ever since her adoption attempt was turned down, and Guy has been consoling her. This paper feels the need to add, "Madge being civil is a shock. Almost as shocking as her dressing her age for a night out…" [The Sun]
• Is Halle Berry's Bazaar cover a Photoshop Of Horrors? [NY Daily News]
• Halle says: "I'm usually watching The Biggest Loser, eating Doritos." And she shops online. But her gorge boyfriend keeps things interesting: "I have a 33-year-old man," she says. "That'll keep your mojo mojo-in." [Ny Daily News]
• Have lunch with Jon Hamm. No, really! [Breitbart]
• Boo: There is no Kate Moss cook book. Her spokesperson says, "We do not know where it came from but it is definitely false." [Daily Express]
• Some audience members were smoking pot at Britney's concert and she told them to cut it out because if lighting or crew members high above the stage got sick or dizzy it would be bad news bears. [Perez]
• Nadya Suleman is in talks to do a reality show, though she denies it and so do Lifetime, TLC and Oxygen. Please don't let it be on Fox, home of The Littlest Groom and Man vs. Beast. [TMZ]
• Would you like to know the plot of Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo? Highlight this hidden text:
  Big cheats on Carrie, DUH. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Mischa Barton would like for you to know that she is happy with her body now. "The only way to be happy and be a more enjoyable person to be around is to embrace what you've got. Everyone has issues about their body, but I feel confident now. I'm healthy and happy." Which sucks more: That tabloids used to pick on her cellulite, or that she felt the need to make this statement and pose naked for Cosmo UK? Also, does she work? [The Sun]
• Spike Jonze was seen eating eggs with 3-year-old Matilda Ledger; Michelle Williams came and picked them up when they were done. [Page Six]
• Squee! Even though they are divorced, Pink and Carey Hart are still trying to make it work! Carey says: "We're working shit out, I admit it." I don't know why I love them together but I do. Sniff. [The Sun]
• Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are dunzo; apparently he wanted to get married but she wasn't ready. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Phelps was seen doing shots and making out with his gf at a NYC club. [Gatecrasher]
• This video of Hugh Laurie and the cast of House experiencing a pretty awesome April Fool's prank — in which Laurie actually smiles, briefly — may warm the cockles of your cold and tiny heart. Yes, the cockles. [Videogum]
• More women have contacted the LAPD with rape charges against the So You Think You Can Dance choreographer Alex Da Silva. The case is still under investigation. [Breitbart]
• Seriously, did Bruce Springsteen break up some dude's marriage by sexing his wife? [MSNBC]
• The People cover story this week is about how John Travolta and Kelly Preston are "living with grief" since the death of Jett Travolta. A "pal" says "They aren't secluding themselves or paralyzed. [Seeing them] was like old times. Nothing awkward and no topics to dance around. There were smiles." [People]
• This article is called "The Day John Lennon Proposed To Me (Pity I Thought He Was Joking!)" [Daily Mail]
• Toga, anyone? Liam Neeson will play Zeus and Ralph Fiennes will play Hades in the remake of Clash Of The Titans. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Brittany Murphy has been cast in The Expendables, an action flick with Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke and Jet Li. Brittany will play Mickey Rourke's girlfriend, and there is nothing creepy about that at all. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Brothers Kieran Culkin and Rory Culkin play brothers in a new movie, Lymelife. [NY Post]
• In a wise move, the Pet Shop Boys have rejected a request from PETA that they rename themselves the Rescue Shelter Boys. [BBC News]
• Blind item! "Which seemingly straight married actor conducts his man-to-man hanky-panky in the hangar of the Santa Monica Airport?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It's always exciting to work with new people, kind of get new experiences, to see how other people do it. I think that makes you a better moviemaker, ultimately, to work with as many different people as you can. There's definitely a comfort level I have with Judd [Apatow] — kind of a shorthand, if you will — but I enjoy working with other people still. I'm sure he gets sick of me, too." — Seth Rogen. [Reuters]
• "I have now reluctantly decided that I cannot, in good conscience, continue to be the public face of a charity that is changing beyond recognition from the one with which I have been so proud to be associated." — JK Rowling, stepping down from her role with the MS Society Scotland, which has internal issues. [Telegraph]
• "Because I write them, I already have a tone in my head. I occasionally make the males scream and suffer about their deaths, because I assume that nobody wants to die. Even in mating." — Isabella Rosselini on filming the bee segment of her Green Porno series. [Time]
• "I lived briefly in New York — Garden City — when I was in kindergarten. But I started my performing [in the city] at the Bitter End. That would be 1970. I stayed in Shel Silverstein's apartment, but I couldn't tell you where it was. Memory is not my strong suit. I can't even remember what I had for lunch." (Did you have some problems with drinking and drugs?) "I never thought of them as a problem, so much as a solution. I probably never would have been able to get up onstage. Now, I mainly drink red wine." — Kris Kristofferson. [NY Post]
• "It was a stupid joke because it rhymes. In the hands of a responsible journalist, humor and sarcasm will be translated appropriately. It was not meant as disrespectful in any way. In England, we have great rhyming slang, and everyone spends their day rhyming. But for all the trouble that comment caused, there were many people who were supportive." — Sienna Miller, after calling Pittsburgh "Shitsburgh." [NY Daily News]

• Leighton Meester and Blake Lively share an ice cream cone on Rolling Stone's new cover. The girl-on-girl antics continue inside, with the girls sucking on a Twizzler and each other's thumbs.

• The rest of the Gossip Girl cast gets away with having a clothed pillow fight and cuddling in bed together. [Gothamist, Rolling Stone]
• New York Magazine points out that they've already photographed the cast in a big white bed together (and done it better). [NY Magazine]
• Love lockdown! Kanye West has been charged with misdemeanor battery, grand theft and vandalism over destroying a paparazzo's camera on video at LAX in September. [AP]
• Liz Smith says she was told Natasha Richardson is "dead". Though that hasn't been confirmed, Smith says moving her to Lenox Hill was a bad sign and that, earlier this afternoon, she was taken off life support. An insider says: "Nobody goes to Lenox Hill who is really sick; if she'd had a chance to live, they'd have found another great brain hospital!" [Wowowow]
• Supposedly medics on the ambulance that transported Natasha Richardson said she was brain dead. A source said she was "unconscious," her pupils "non-reactive," her skin was "pale" and she was suffering from "major head trauma." Liam Neeson reportedly held her hand the entire time and caressed her face during the ride. [TMZ]
• Subscribers will get a copy of Entertainment Weekly with Paul Rudd on the cover, but the mag put Natasha Richardson on the cover being sold on newsstands. [ONTD]
• A judge has ordered Adnan Ghalib to stay away from Britney Spears for three years. [TMZ]
• Is Bruce Willis marrying his girlfriend, model Emma Heming? The National Enquirer says the wedding is going down this weekend in some "exotic location." [Perez Hilton]
• Eddie Cibrian is denying the rumors that he's having an affair with LeAnn Rimes. Supposedly he told a friend: "LeAnn and I are friends, we went to dinner, that's it. The most ridiculous thing is that people believe I would do something like this period … much less do it in a public place. The false accusations are obviously causing a rift at home, but me and my family will get through this together." The security camera photos printed in Star today (which you can read about in Midweek Madness) paint a different picture. [Perez Hilton]
• LeAnn Rimes issued a statement on her website and she isn't denying the affair. She writes: "This is a difficult time for me and my loved ones, but I appreciate all your continued support.
  I would like to assure all of you that this is a place for you to hear things directly from me and as you all know, not everything in our lives is always black and white." [Perez Hilton]
• Dean Sheremet, LeAnn Rimes' husband, Twittered today, "I love my wife!!!" [Perez Hilton]
• John Mayer isn't writing a tell all book about Jennifer Aniston, as the cover of Star Magazine claims. Mayer's rep says: "Even for them, its a new low. They've dressed themselves up but they're no better than the Enquirer. Despite their low standards it's still not ok to make up stories and print them. Unfortunately, while we're considering legal action, Star Magazine is already at work on next week's cover story about some reality tv star's secret marriage to Elvis." [Perez Hilton]
• A remake of the film Arthur is in the works and producers want Russell Brand to play the title role with Sir Anthony Hopkins as his wise-cracking butler. [The Daily Express]
• Sean Stewart, son of Rod Stewart and Celebrity Rehab cast member, appeared on Judge Jeanine Pirro and said his dad is "very cheap." [The Daily Mail]
• Jessica Lange fell yesterday at her Minnesota cabin. She grabbed for a railing that was not secure and fell over, breaking her shoulder and collarbone and dislocating her arm. She received treatment at a local hospital. [TMZ]
• Pink and husband Carey Hart are indeed back on. They were seen exiting her tour bus together in Berlin. [Perez Hilton]
• Andrew Morton says that the drama surrounding whether or not Prince William is engaged to Kate Middleton has a decidedly retro feel. He writes: "Whatever becomes of Kate Middleton, she will always be marked by the man she knew rather than what she knows. If Michelle Obama seems the acme of social modernity and progress, the romance of Kate and William harks back to another arcane era." [The Daily Beast]
• When asked if she plans to have more kids, Jennifer Lopez said, "Let me work just a little bit first. Let me get a couple things out there... one song, one movie, something ... I like [need] to recuperate." [The Star]
• Eric Nies from the first Real World: New York spotted a puppy drowning and stripped naked to jump in the partially frozen lake and save the dog. There are pictures. [TMZ]
• In this video Martha Stewart says she still isn't coping with the loss of her dog Ghenghis Khan in a freak propane tank explosion last week. [TMZ]
• Audrina Patridge is getting her very own Hills spinoff. [Perez Hilton]
• Designing Women is coming out on DVD. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Heavily pregnant PETA members posed naked in cages to protest against chef Jaime Oliver, who urged people to buy British pork rather than pork raised overseas under worse conditions. Oliver's rep says he's a big supporter of animal welfare and his restaurants serve pork from "the happiest pigs you can get." Peta representatives say: "The answer to saving pigs is not to buy British pork, it's to go vegetarian." [The Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt and Natalie Portman will star in a film adaptation of the book Important Artifacts and Personal Property from the Collection of Lenore Doolan and Harold Morris, Including Books, Street Fashion, and Jewelry The book looks like a Sotheby's estate auction catalog, with 325 entries and photographs of items that tell the story of the relationship between a fictitious a 40ish photographer (Pitt) and a New York Times food columnist in her late 20s (Portman). [Variety]
• Everyone is angry that British tabloid OK! put out a tribute to dying reality star Jade Goody even though she's still alive - except Jade. The magazine put out a statement saying: "Jade's family have spoken to OK! today to reiterate that they understand the tribute issue and view it as being very kind to Jade." [The Mirror]
• Kim Kardashian is one the cover of Russian Playboy. [The Sun]
• Um, here are the NSFW photos of Kim Kardashian from inside Russian Playboy. [ONTD]
• Robert Pattinson says that even before he started acting he always thought he was a fraud and was faking his emotions. He says: "I remember when I was a teenager thinking my girlfriend was cheating on me, and going around riling myself up. Pretending to cry. It was totally illegitimate-I actually didn't feel anything. I went to some pub and then went crying all the way home. And I got into my dog's bed. I was crying and holding on to the dog. I woke up in the morning, and the dog was looking at me like, ‘You're a fake.' ... I thought I'd seen her with another guy, but she wasn't even there. I spent three days apologizing to the dog." [GQ]
• Prince Williams went on a U.K. children's show and said his patronage of London's Royal Marsden Hospital is something that would make mom proud. "For a very long time my mother was involved with the Royal Marsden, and she had a very close connection with them ... So I wanted to follow in her footsteps, in that sense, and help." Diana opened the children's unit in 1993 and Prince William is supporting the building of a Children's and Teenage Cancer Centre. [People]
• Michael Sheen, who played Tony Blair in The Queen and David Frost in Frost/Nixon says playing so many real people has taken its toll. "Have I got an identity crisis? Yeah, I don't know who I am really. You give me a script and then, I'm that," said Sheen. [The Star]
• 50 Cent has a backhanded compliment for Sean Combs in King magazine. He says: "Puffy has the best model for staying relevant, because [he does it] without a song. He's been able to maintain an interest and stay in a space to executive produce television and film projects, and stay relevant to hip-hop culture. What was the last record that made you feel like, ‘Oh, my God, Puffy is on fire'? You don't need it. That's what makes his business model exciting to me." [Perez Hilton]

[Los Angeles, February 4. Image via Flynet]

Cut between the shots of Pink acting out are shots of Pink singing to Carey. Sometimes he ignores her, sometimes he rolls his eyes, sometimes they're at each other's throats. And, for a moment, he embraces her.

Schaefer claims this adds an "element of 'no really, we're actually handling this in a freakishly mature way.'" I don't know what you call it, but I love Pink. Love her. Clip below.

P!nk’s New Video Shows You How To Deal With A Breakup In A Totally Mature Way [BWE]

• Hayden Panettiere's father, Alan, has been arrested for allegedly beating his wife. He allegedly struck Lesley Panettiere in the face this morning at 3 am. If it's true, the man is no hero. Maybe that's why Hayden wants to shack up with her older boyfriend? [TMZ]
• Britney Spears filmed a promo for the MTV Video Music Awards with Russell Brand and an elephant. Does that mean she'll be in the show again this year? Can you believe it has been a year since her "Gimme More" debacle? She could make a real comeback this time. [LA Times]
• George Clooney is helping Barack Obama on issues from body language to Iraq. They e-mail regularly, an insider says: "George has been giving him advice on things such as presentation, public speaking and body language and he also emails him constantly about policy, especially the Middle East. George is pushing him to be more 'balanced' on issues such as US relations with Israel." [Daily Mail]
• The woman who helped raise David Banda, adopted son of Madonna, has died. Asineti Mwale looked after infant David after his birth mother died, and recently was bedridden with pneumonia. [People]

• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban in matching his-and-hers leather outfits: Ew. [Daily Mail]
• Whoa, there's an Olympic boxer in Beijing named Brad Pitt. Some suggested he go by "Bradley" just to avoid issues during check in and travel, but he says, "No way, I've always been Brad.'' He also says:"The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.'' [Times Of India]
• The New York Times obit of Isaac Hayes refers to his "lascivious bass-baritone and flamboyant wardrobe." He is survived by his wife, their son Nana and 11 other children. [NY Times]
• Did Jennifer Aniston have her lips done? Some random person says yes. [UPI]
• Johnny Depp might be moving to the English countryside. [Mirror]
• The news about the Sienna Miller/Balthazar Getty affair continues to contradict itself. Today, an insider says: "It’s nonsense that the marriage was already over. When Balthazar went away in May, Rosetta thought it was to see his sick mom in Germany. But she now knows that it was to cavort with Sienna in Prague.” [Perez Hilton]
• Model/actress Angie Everhart's boyfriend was arrested Thursday in West Hollywood for allegedly roughing her up. She had minor injuries, but they did not require medical attention. He was booked for misdemeanor spousal battery. [Yahoo News]
• Penelope Cruz was giving a phone interview when her driver almost wrecked the car; the reporter on the other line heard her screaming. [Washington Post]
• Guy Ritchie is taking martial arts in a padded dojo room and this Brit tab runs the headline: "Padded 'Cell' Helps Guy Chill." [The Sun]
• David Beckham says his son Cruz didn't learn breakdancing from him: "I have two left feet when it comes to dancing." Guess that works on the soccer field, though. [The Sun]
• Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones broke immigration and anti-terrorism laws by pulling their yacht into an Italian port and disembarking without paperwork or notifying authorities. Shady! [Variety]
• A woman is suing Splash News after ending up on a tape featuring Heath Ledger "in close proximity" to cocaine. "Jane Doe" says it's a privacy issue: Her face was blurred on the footage but is worried about her "conversations, her voice and likeness." One minute you're partying with celebs, the next you're on Entertainment Tonight. [Yahoo News]
• Rachel Hunter got ice from her hockey player boyfriend: They're engaged. [This Is London]
• UK What Not To Wear star Trinny Woodall has a crush on Keanu Reeves and has been "chasing" him. Take the red pill! [Daily Mail]
• Tori Spelling: Pissed that her role on the new 90210 pays less than what Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty are getting. What's up with that? Stop picking on Donna Martin! [Deadline Hollywood]
• People are still miffed about Beyoncé's L'Oréal ad, including the chairman of the National Association of Black Journalists. [Guardian]
• Matthew McConaughey saved the placenta from the July birth of his son and plans to plant it under a tree. "It's going to be in the orchards and it's going to bear some wonderful fruit," he says. "When I was in Australia, they had a placenta tree that was on the river ... and all the placentas of all that tribe, all that clan, whatever aboriginal tribe that was, all the placentas went under that one tree and it was this huge behemoth of just health and strength." Sounds delicious. [AP]
• Mark your calendars: Blake Fielder-Civil should be out of jail by December 30. [Perez Hilton]
• Another noteworthy date: Jennifer Hudson's CD finally drops on September 30. [Yahoo News]
• Lisa Marie Presley has been blogging on her MySpace page, and while she's happy about being pregnant, she's upset about the gossip machine. "In the past couple of years, high profile type people seem to have less and less rights. Less privacy and protection. The onslaught of Internet and tabloid sites mostly want only blood now. They have managed to make being a public figure a 24/7 public stoning and execution of various sorts. Some obviously more brutal than others." [People]
• The MGM Tower, where Tom Cruise and Salma Hayek have offices, has been the subject of an anonymous threat: Anthrax in the ventilation system. Scary! Last Tuesday there was a bomb threat in the building. WTF. [E!]
• Speaking of Salma, she is developing an hourlong reality show about weddings, just a few months after calling off her own. It will only be worth watching if Wilhelmina Slater is in it. [Variety]
• A picture of Prince William and Kate Middleton on a boat in the Caribbean, for your approval. [People]
• A photo of Rhys Ifans with a topless lady, also for your approval. [The Sun]
• Uh-oh. Miss Universe in nude photo scandal. But! Officials say: the shots for a jewelry company are "artistic in nature, and they don't have an ounce of pornographic content to them." Phew. [Times Of India]
• "Once a Hollywood legend, Doris Day is now an ageing recluse called Clara." [Daily Mail]
• Lil' Kim's nose is looking marginally better these days. [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's nose has been elegantly refined. [Good Plastic Surgery]
• Family drama: Richard Dreyfuss is suing his father and uncle over an $870,000 loan he claims was never repaid. The deal was made in 1984. [Yahoo News]
• "I've been celibate for a year and starting to think I may never have sex again. It’s not something I planned but I just don’t get asked out any more. Men seem to look at me and think, 'She went out with George Clooney, what chance have I got?'" — Lisa Snowdon. [The Sun]
• "My parents have been married more than 25 years, with all the glory and the pain you can imagine, but they've stayed together. I want a strong marriage like that… The worst thing that happens to you can be the best thing for you, if you don't let it get the best of you." — Anne Hathaway on dating. [People]
• Carey Hart's brother Anthony Hart died yesterday after wrecking his motorcycle in a practice session for a Supermoto Championship race. [TMZ]
• "I have not decided on a candidate. I am waiting to see the commitments they will make on issues like international justice, refugees and how to address the needs of children in crisis around the world." — Angelina Jolie on endorsing a presidential candidate. [Wilshire & Washington, via Time]
• "He's the first and last old man that I'll be attracted to." — American Idol's Katharine McPhee on her husband, who is 19 years her senior. [Newsweek]
• "I occasionally go out with musicians, I keep myself to myself, and I get followed by people with cameras. I feel like I should give some kind of public apology because I see this person in the papers, too. It’s like reading about a character in a Lewis Carroll novel, like Alice in Through the Looking Glass. I’d love to meet this person and tell her she’s a bitch – but she’s not me. The drug thing is something I can’t go into for legal reasons, but I will say that it was blown completely out of proportion. I never overdosed. Drugs for me are something I don’t normally meddle in." — Peaches Geldof. [Times of London]

• As per her custody settlement, Britney Spears will get to see her sons 3 times a week, with two overnight visits and potential for more: It's basically like 40% of the time; not bad. [Yahoo News]
• Britney's new songs are, um, angry. The lyrics to one track: "You know they treat me like an ATM, but y'all know that I’m too good for ‘em." [Mirror]
• Britney made a rare public appearance on Saturday night: she attended Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey's fundraiser for Generation Rescue, an organization dedicated to researching autism. [People]
• Angelina Jolie left the hospital in Nice, France on Saturday, a week after giving birth to twins Knox and Vivienne. "Angelina left at 4 a.m. in a blacked-out ambulance," a source tells E! News. "And she's now back at Château Miraval with Brad, the kids, her brother, James Haven, and Bill and Jane Pitt, Brad's mom and dad." So many people. Full house! [Yahoo News, E!]
• Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones went to rehab after being on a "booze marathon," but instead of deciding to back to his wife, he's been pining for the 19-year-old model and cocktail waitress he'd been hooking up with. Maybe he hasn't fully sobered up yet? [Mirror]

• Khloe Kardashian's stint in jail sucked! On her way to the hoosegow, a woman on KK's bus had a seizure. The bus was rerouted to a different facility, but a bomb scare at the jail triggered a lockdown — KK had to go into solitary confinement. Then Khloe was cold, so she asked for a blanket — and was denied. She had to watch videos on how to be a good prisoner and was not allowed to change out of her street clothes. Khloe served 173 minutes. [TMZ]
• Not sure why we need to know this but here it is: Jerry O'Connell and Rebecca Romijn are trying to get pregnant. [People]
• Courtney Love wrote a long and rambling MySpace blog post to "Gawker people." [Gawker]
• Frances Bean Cobain is the summer aide at Rolling Stone, but a source says: "she doesn't get coffee for anyone… calls in sick all the time and wears funny outfits." [Page Six]
• Remember how Lindsay Lohan used to live with "close" friend and openly gay Courtenay Semel? Yeah. [Perez Hilton]
• You know how all of the tabloids are reporting on Lindsay and Sam just like any other celebrity couple? Michael Musto says, "I've read things in gossip columns that would never go there in the past and realized, 'Wow, they're going there now.' They don't consider gay a dirty thing anymore. And it's very cool." This is an interesting article about why LL and Sam's relationship is different than other same-sex celebrity relationships that get ignored by the tabloids. [LA Timmes]
• Dina Lohan got Lindsay's age wrong when she was on the CBS Early Show. [Full Disclosure]
• Lance Bass has a new man, a Brazilian personal trainer named Sebastian Leal. Except Sebastian is married. To a lesbian. For green card purposes. And she wants to get divorced so she can marry her girlfriend. Messy. [Perez Hilton]
• Heather Mills is on a £250,000 vacation with her new lover, 36-year-old Jamie Walker. [Mirror]
• Carey Hart on Pink: "We talk all the time and try to stay connected as much as possible. It's a tough situation to be in but I love her to death. I miss everything about her." Sigh. Sad face. [People]
• Jessica Simpson performed her first country show on Saturday night! She was booed. [Perez Hilton]
• Blake Incarcerated is to be sentenced today! Will he be let go? Will he and Amy be reunited? [Telegraph]
• Pharrell Williams is going to be a daddy. The lady in question is a "model type" who travels with him. Naturally. [Page Six]
• Here's a twisty take on the A-Rod story you haven't heard: Alex Rodriguez is "emotionally abused" by wife Cynthia. "Alex has always been into psychotherapy, making himself mentally stronger," a source spills. "He's had several therapists. Cynthia has a master's degree in psychology. Once she found out how vulnerable he was, she got into his head. Several of us begged him not to marry this woman, but he did it anyway." [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which newly married diva recently went bananas after reading flirty text messages from her new hubby's ex on his BlackBerry? She locked him out of their (her) house for two nights. Memo to ladies everywhere: If you don't want to know, don't start snooping." [Full Disclosure]
• You've gotta love this picture of Hugh Jackman being "held up" at "gunpoint." [TMZ]
• Pete Doherty has a new ladyfriend, a model named Robin Whitehead. How does he do it? [Mirror]
• Shannen Doherty: Looking forward to appearing on the new 90210. [UPI]
• Shannen will play the director of the West Beverly High's musical. Once more with feeling! [E!]
• DMX has been arrested. Again. That's the second time this month and the third time in three months, if you're keeping track. [UPI]
• You won't see any more of the Verne Troyer sex tape: The law suit's been settled. Small miracles! [AP]
• Darryl McDaniels of Run-DMC had two major blood clots removed from his left arm on Friday. Be well! [AP]
• Is Sean Connery refusing to give his son money to teach the young man to earn a living on his own? [UPI]
• There are "rumored lovers" on the new season of Project Runway and you can click here if you want to know who they are. [ONTD]
• Bravo has picked up Sarah Jessica Parker's art competition reality show. On American Artist, contestants produce a painting, sculpture or other artwork which is judged by a panel of experts. [Reuters]
• Joss Stone is dating Nelly? For real? [Mirror]
• Jimmy Fallon's Late Night will start on the web first. Interesting. [NY Times]
• Is Kelly Osbourne engaged? She's been wearing a ring on THAT finger. Boyfriend Luke Worrell is 18; Kelly is 23. [This Is London]
• Salman Rushdie dates beautiful young women; Brit paper asks, "Just how DOES he do it?" [Daily Mail]
• Three words: L Word spinoff. [UPI]
• Two dudes who are not her father debate whether Miley Cyrus is growing up too fast. [Newsweek]
• Kate Beckinsale's lips "fluctuate in size." [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• The new Gossip Girl ads revel in the show's scandalous reputation. Words like "very bad," "inappropriate," "nasty" and "nightmare" are plastered over the too-hot-for-their-own-good stars. [TVGasm]
• "Ohmygod. You're not going to do this to me, are you? Tell me you're not going to do this. Oh come on! It's been such a long time. Hire somebody that knows enough that we don't have to explain this again." — Gillian Anderson, after being asked why The X-Files is such a big deal. [Newsweek]
• "Lulu is very outgoing, so not like me at all. Max is nasty, mean. He came from two abused homes, so he has baggage. He has short legs and is chubby and hairy, like me before electrolysis. I've learnt a lot from Lulu. When her leg was amputated, she just got right on with her life. No self-pity. She just accepted that she was the Heather Mills of Boston terriers." — Joan Rivers on her dogs. [Daily Mail]

• Nicole Richie's People magazine cover is outselling Christina Aguilera's. What's up with that? [MSNBC]
  
• Winona Ryder: Not engaged. Well crap. Is that guy going to feel pressured to pop the question now? [Us]
  
• Also not engaged: Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson. [People]
  
• Video: Pete Doherty, smoking crack-like substance. Out of a pipe shaped like a chicken. This is not a joke. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Tom Cruise: Seen washing his hands for 5 minutes, "as thoroughly as a surgeon preparing for surgery" after using the restroom. Here's to LHR! [Times Of India]
  
• That "guru" Paris Hilton was hanging out with? He's a Hollywood actor who has been in flicks like Pirates Of The Caribbean. That's doesn't explain why she's spending time with him, but whatevs. [TMZ]
  
• Bjork made Chinese fans "uncomfortable" by shouting "Tibet! Tibet!" at a show in Shanghai. [CNN]

• Jennifer Lopez's twins have 600-thread count Egyptian cotton linens, classical music piped in, and professional baby masseuse who come once or twice a week. Yawn. [Mirror]
• Carey Hart says that Pink is "the love of my life." Although they are separated, "We talk all the time." [People]
• Sarah Jessica Parker's unreleased movie, Spinning Into Butter, might just suck: It's lacking a distributor and she says, "One enters these endeavors with the best of intentions, but sometimes they don't work out." [Page Six]
• Justin Long says girlfriend Drew Barrymore "smells good." Also: "She's beautiful and funny. The most compassionate person I've ever met." [People]
• "Part of the bar mitzvah is that you become a man supposedly at 13 years old. And as I was a man, I decided never to go to a synagogue again" — Jack Black. [Page Six]
• Village Voice columnist Michael Musto will appear on the cover of the paper spoofing the Lindsay Lohan nude photo shoot. Musto says: "Lindsay did 250 crunches the night before her shooting. Well, I did 250 Nestle's Crunches." [Page Six]
• Thursday night, Barack Obama will attend the opening of the all-black revival of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof on Broadway. He'll have mad Secret Service, of course. [Gatecrasher]
• Cashmere Mafia: On the verge of dunzo? [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which singer turned Broadway star is miserable along the Great White Way? Although he privately gripes that he hates the show he's in, he has to ride out his contract." [Gatecrasher]
• James Blunt showed video footage of bombed homes, dead bodies and graves during a his concert on Friday. "The film was my footage," the former armed NATO peacekeeper explains. [Rush & Molloy]
• Lauren Conrad moved into her new house (with Audrina and Lo) and got a new puppy! [People]
• Actress Jeri Ryan has a new baby girl, Gisele Eme. Welcome! [People]
• Bai Ling was formally charged with petty theft from that incident last month in which she stole two Star magazines and some batteries and then blamed a bad break up. The value of the items? $16.22. [People]
• John Ritter's widow testified yesterday, detailing the events surrounding her husband's death. [USA Today]
• Rumor has it that Mischa Barton turned down a role on Gossip Girl to make it seem like she is too famous for that; her rep says the info was not leaked for publicity. Ugh, so glad she won't be hanging with Serena and Blair. [Perez Hilton]
• Eddie Van Halen is undergoing medical tests, causing the band the reschedule its upcoming concerts. Eddie has fought cancer and alcoholism in the past, this issue has yet to be disclosed. [Reuters]
• Disney Channel star Miley Cyrus will perform at rival network Nickelodeon's Kids Choice Awards??? It's like a tear in the space-time continuum. [Reuters]
• There's a rift between Steve Irwin's widow and his father, if you give a crap about that kind of stuff. [Independent]
• British "glamour model" Jordan, aka Katie Price, is purchasing a plane, which she plans to paint pink and pilot herself. Awesome? Or crazy? Or crazy awesome? [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Is Cindy Crawford coming to Good Morning America or The View? [Variety]
• Madonna may be turning 50, but there's no stopping her: "I'm sure I wasn't put on this earth just to make records. There are a lot of things I want to achieve. I'd like to be a better human being. I'd like to be a better parent. I still have my children to raise. That's a big responsibility, I'm not done with that. I would like to direct more films and write them. I've only done one. To me that's the beginning of that career and I want to make more records. I love music." Go ahead, girl! [Mirror]