Hold on, hold on. If I remember correctly, he didn't leave her with a need for an expensive lifestyle -- he left her with actual bills to pay and rent to make. Even if you decide to dial it down, you still have to pay the existing bills.
I'm not sure I would choose prostitution, either, but honestly? I can't judge someone who does. Those are not shoes I've walked in -- the shoes that tell me (for whatever reason, be it psychological or financial) that I have no choice but to sell my body.
And if my daughter came home and told me that that was what she had been reduced to, I would not tell her I was disgusted. I would fold her in my arms and keep the world away.
@ellaesther: Well, apparently she kept the $80,000 engagement ring he gave her, so you know, she could have sold that to pay the bills.
There are many people who turn to horrible things for the money to survive and I absolutely do not judge them. Ashley Dupre, however, doesn't seem like one of those people.
@ellaesther: thanks for writing that. even if she didn't have a bunch of bills to pay who are we to judge her? she didnt hurt anyone. and her clients made their own decisions.
@RainbowBrite: Well, yes,you're right, the ring would have gone a long way. But I still just can't go there. Between the old school feminist view that a woman can sell her body if she wants to, and the weepy liberal view that she was probably a pretty lost soul when she made that decision, I just can't condemn her. If this current media round of trying to tell her own story in her own words turns into further self-exploitation, I suppose I'll lose some compassion, but honestly right now, that's all I feel for her.
@ellaesther: I'll give you the "she can sell her body if she wants." That's a legit viewpoint, and one that I wonder about myself. Why shouldn't she do what she wants? It's her body. I mean, I think a lot of feminists are conflicted about prostitution in that sense.
However, IMO, suggesting she was a lost soul when she made the decision, to me, is infantilizing and denies her power and agency to control her life. Yes, some women are totally lost, addicted, or desperate when they get into the business. But I'm not going to assume every grown woman who makes a bad decision is messed up. She just might be dumb, or materialistic, or too lazy to get a real job, etc. You know? Kind of like "You made your bed now lie in it like every other adult" (except without the bed/prostitution pun).
@georgina: I agree. "No other options" would be someone who is like, addicted, totally broke, homeless, without any family, etc. She is responsible for the bad decisions that she made. I really don't have any sympathy for her.
Damn. Jane Eyre walked miles in the moors after Mr. Rochester turned out to have a crazy wife living in the attic. St. John and his sisters found her and saved her, so that worked out okay. Why didn't Ashley try that, maybe head to the Meadowlands?
I was forced to become a pirate wench when my wealthy sailor fiance ditched me at the alter, leaving me without a yacht or an obvious means of revenge.
I love how she dressed so subdued for the interview(missing a rosary in her hands). I mean.. she must have cringed while buttoning that collar. She seems to be an overly exposed neckline type of gal..but but maybe I am being biased!!
I find myself both desperately amused and crushed on her behalf that the best he could think of for her to do other than prostitution was to be a hostess or a model.
This need of an expensive lifestyle just confuses me. There's got to be a point where you just have enough, where something is quality and not needlessly expensive. I suppose, not being this chick, I'm just not worth the ostentation. ::le sigh::
Also, does this woman have any idea what she's saying? You're not getting a sympathy recording deal when you're playing off materialism, even if you were "used to it".
Why does it never occur to these girls to, say, cut down on the lifestyle and save for a while? I mean, this is not hard stuff to wrap your mind around. In fact, I believe my 2nd grade teacher did a good job instilling realistic expectations on me, not to mention my parents.
@stoprobbers: @tonightineed thinks rahm is nom: REally. My 5th grade teacher taught us the difference between wants and needs. Sounds like someone should take a visit to a third world country to learn the difference.
I can sympathize. I too, "need" a lavish lifestyle--I mean, expensive cars are safer, designer duds are made with fabric that keeps me warmer than cheap stuff, expansive wine gets me drunk faster due to additional fermentation in the aging process...
Actually I don't need any of these things, and neither does anyone else.
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Oh, that would require some effort and brains. My bad.
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I'm not sure I would choose prostitution, either, but honestly? I can't judge someone who does. Those are not shoes I've walked in -- the shoes that tell me (for whatever reason, be it psychological or financial) that I have no choice but to sell my body.
And if my daughter came home and told me that that was what she had been reduced to, I would not tell her I was disgusted. I would fold her in my arms and keep the world away.
11/21/08
There are many people who turn to horrible things for the money to survive and I absolutely do not judge them. Ashley Dupre, however, doesn't seem like one of those people.
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However, IMO, suggesting she was a lost soul when she made the decision, to me, is infantilizing and denies her power and agency to control her life. Yes, some women are totally lost, addicted, or desperate when they get into the business. But I'm not going to assume every grown woman who makes a bad decision is messed up. She just might be dumb, or materialistic, or too lazy to get a real job, etc. You know? Kind of like "You made your bed now lie in it like every other adult" (except without the bed/prostitution pun).
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This need of an expensive lifestyle just confuses me. There's got to be a point where you just have enough, where something is quality and not needlessly expensive. I suppose, not being this chick, I'm just not worth the ostentation. ::le sigh::
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Clearly he has great confidence in her intellectual ability.
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Also, her ex is pretty funny.
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sorry, but that warranted caps.
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DUH....!
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Actually I don't need any of these things, and neither does anyone else.